100% Eat - Michael Got Triple - Panda Express Ride Along

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

Our Heroes are gonna get STUFFED and watching a car get pulled when it shouldn't. It's dangerous out here and we're gonna get in an accident on purpose. Did you enjoy the thumbnail? It's Nick's best work yet. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor,

free of charge. BetMGEMGEMP operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Did we run them out of barbecue brisket the second time? Yes, we absolutely did. Oh, did we really? Yeah, oh yeah. Well, you got triple. Their bowls aren't big enough.

No, I don't know what they're doing. I think whatever like the walk thing that they sit in is not big enough because the brisket seems like really big. Yeah. They're like, they're big honk in pieces, man. They are big honk in pieces. Yeah, there was like a lot for a single serving. Yeah.

There was a lot more than I thought it would be. And I almost regretted getting three. No. Wait, did you get a triple? Yeah. Oh, legit. Oh, baby a triple. Oh my god, that's awesome.

That's fucking cool. You tell me that it's 43 grams of protein. Yeah, dude, you're getting it all in in one day. Yeah, it's giving it. Well, his thinking was I'll just eat it later. And then I was like, oh, smart, you don't have to come back. Exactly. Then he turned to me.

Well, Nick style, you know. Yeah, I said, Nick. I get it. Take notes. Yeah, but I can't get my wife some if I, you know, order extra in that moment. You can. Yeah.

Not with us. You could have got triple. You could have done a separate transaction. Or you could have got a triple. And that's monkey money. Yeah, that is monkey money. I'm not doing it. Should I go straight and see?

Yeah. Yeah. So if you can find that other car getting towed. I'm going to try to not hit this guy with the bike. Yeah, we saw some interesting stuff on the way to the rest of the end. Put up the pictures, Nick. Put up all the pictures you took. Maybe they'll be in the episode.

Show them the video, my man. That's going to be the episode. It's not going to be in this. It can be. We're talking about it. Probably be in this, right? Yeah. You clap for me.

What? What? What? I don't have time to listen to this. I don't have title. Pictures here. On the way to Panda Express, we saw a car getting pulled by a truck. It was the most like...

But it was just like a pickup truck. Fuck that. And it wasn't like it wasn't hitched. Yeah, I had no toe hitch. It was just a strap and it was just tied around the bed. Like a tie like a nine and like a knot. Around the like through the bed or the like gate and also the bumper. Yeah.

The bumper was half off. It was not. It was definitely loose. Yeah. And then like there was a guy in the car So he could like serious steer right and braking but like dude When they were going over bumps it started getting slack They were getting close

I was like how chill the guy was like we were next to them and he's just spoken a cigarette his car You're like yeah he doesn't have to drive you do it He's like this shit chill I'm not operating this motor vehicle It's like kind of like a Waymo yeah yeah yeah it's kind of like the new like the new Tesla cyber taxi thing that you keep seeing the little tiny gold cars. Have you seen those? I haven't. You have tiny gold cars?

It's like, it's small, that looks so fucking cyberpunk. Is it like a Zooks? Is it the little boxes? Yeah, so it's like, it's like, width-wise, smaller than this and like a little shorter. And it's just you get in, it's gold, and it is a Tesla cyber taxi.

Sounds decadence. Yeah. I think we've been sleeping on tube travel. Like in the future, you always see tube travel. Uh-huh, and you think- Drama? Yeah. You think that's the way.

Why aren't we traveling through tubes? I mean, isn't that just- So the one was just trying to do the tunnel alone. He couldn't get that tunnel, right? He couldn't. Oh yeah, the Tesla's operate a special tunnel. Oh, we need a tube lobby. Yeah.

Like, so you're saying that it should still kind of be like the bus system or it puts you near the destination you're going to, not where you're going to. I mean, that's fine. Tuge just seems like a lot of infrastructure. Yeah. It's true. Well, if you build it a long existing core,

Okay. Plus, I feel like there might be a like, and then a level of like health requirement to use the tube. Right. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Probably like some like kind of like, like, exactly. Oh yeah. Like getting battered and bashed with a tube.

How about this? Imagine that traffic too. That's right. Tube traffic? How about this? Instead of tubes, well, you still have the tubes, but there's like little cars that everyone gets in and sits in. Uh huh.

And maybe you can fit like 20 to 30 people in one of these. Uh-huh. And it goes along the track. Of tube. Okay, but does the track still go like up and shit? Or it's just in a straight line. No, I can still go along existing corridor. Oh, so you're saying.

So you're saying along this corridor. I'm saying tubes. I'm not saying anything else. I'm not describing anything else except tube. Yeah, what the fuck? Oh. This car's getting hit me behind me? Oh, he's not.

He! Close. Sorry, he was on his way to tubes. Got it. How's the brisket? Nick? Mine's say. It's in the bag.

My legs are protecting the ones. up here. Way to go, cops. They're going to go help. It has saved your life. Yeah. They're not hard to go get donuts or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, hit the siren. Or they're on their way to stop a crime, both sides. Yeah. Oh, they know, they know one's about to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did inflation hit the Dunkins finally? What is this place? What? Fresh bowl? Fresh bowl. It's a Vietnamese restaurant. It just, it looks like it's the I love all the logos inside. But it's always nice when you don't have matching signage.

Yeah. But they're all so plain. None of it was like stylized. It was all just like, yeah. This is Helvetica and this is Times New Roman. Well, the first one was kind of stylized. It had the ass going into the bowl. Oh, I didn't see that.

Yeah, that was the most stylized. And then it just got plainer. But even then it wasn't that good. We gotta go fresh balls. It looks like those like Instagram rules and people were like, I'm redesigning this business's logo. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. And I am two.

Yep. This looks bad. This is a seraphon. Cool. Way to go. That's the kind of thing where you send it out to multiple people and you just take every single one and use them anyway. I'm just going to lay them all on top. Well, no, you just use it each different one for each sign.

Yeah. We have four signs. Well, I have four logos. Oh, the Sonic's open. Oh, the Sonic is open. Oh, we didn't kill it. We drove by it earlier and there was nobody. Not only was there nobody.

It looked so like dark. It closed. It was boreded up. Yeah. Yeah. It took the boards. That's the boarded up look, dude. They do that every night when they close.

Put the boards up. Vampires. Yeah. Zombies. Yeah. The manager's like, oh, something's gonna get you at the night.

It's tough. Werewolves, trooperas. Yeah, I think boards stop zombies, not vampires. You don't think, oh, you just can't let them in.

You just, yeah, I was going to say, usually, usually the door stops the vampire. You know what? Because you can't go inside it. So. Well, well,

you have to ask. You, vampires can. They had to ask me. Oh, that wasn't you were a vampire. You didn't ask permission. That's why you can't go on Sonic. Wow.

Little vampy suck suck suck. That makes sense. Here, this can be the thumbnail. Was that good? Yeah, but we got to do it one more time. We've got to give you vampire teeth though. Are you going to give me vampire? And then also put in like, Photoshop the carving toes.

And then Photoshop us crashing into a cop. Give me, give me vampire teeth and then have me sucking on the brisket. All right, I'll use candy. Well, in a tube. Yeah, and the tube. I'll use candy corn for the teeth. Candy corn. Nice.

Excellent. Why would you get in my? No, I like it. Michael really liked it. Yeah, dude. It's simple. Simple. Simple.

It's funny. It's sweet. Well, you put candy corn and then just like paint over it. I want to see how this turns out. It's simple. And I really want. It's funny. It's sweet.

I really want it to be done by Nick. Like, I don't want it to be good. I just want it to be done by you. Okay. Okay. Give me candy corn teeth because it's simple and funny and sweet. Right. Which is none of what we were talking about.

No, but it's a good description. Yeah, but not of candy corn. He is right. Oh, yeah. Yeah, shit. Candy corn is ugly and awful and wack funny. I have a friend. Do you guys have this?

You have a friend who likes poor people candy where he likes. You mean like a brick? Chick-o-Stick? Dude, it's circus peanuts, Oh my God. NECA wafers. Neco wafers is the ultimate, like, depression candy. Yes, it is like, he eats like depression candy.

What's the neco wafers? Circus peanuts, like the chewy peanuts? Yeah, the big orange ones. Yeah. What's the Neko wafer? They're like little, styrofoam. Yeah.

They come in like a little, you know, like a life savory kind of like a package. It's that and it's just like little pieces of chalk. Oh, they're like big smarties, but not even like, but they don't have, yeah. Not even that good. No. Oh, hello.

Oh, that's cool. Very great. Yeah. He just likes depression-era candy. Huh. It's gross. Bidoh honey? Does it depress him or does it?

No, I think it like invigorates him in like a different way. That's cool. Yeah, he knows better days are ahead. Yeah. Well, it can't get any worse. Sircus peanuts are like, you want to, you think, you want to think they're marshmallow, but they're not. Yes, they're not.

No. No. Kind of like a, like, uh, Like a peep is marshmallow, but it's a different kind. Yeah, it's like a weird marshmallow. Yeah, but it's way more marshmallow than fucking circus peanuts. Yeah. That's just styrofo.

I don't like peeps. I don't think. Why's that Starbucks look like shit? It's brand new. Peeps is crap. It's so plain. Yeah. So bland.

What is like, what's like your favorite like seasonal candy? Like you don't get it that often. Like it only comes right now. That's like I have a seasonal candy. I don't eat candy. I guess, I guess you're not like really a sweets guy. The Reese is shaped like holiday. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, the Christmas tree, the eggs and stuff. I need a lot of Reese's at Halloween. Yeah, the pumpkin. Yeah, the pumpkin shape. There's something about when they change the shape and they make it just like the surface area. Yeah. Of the Reese's bigger.

The ratio works better. Yeah. It's so good. It's not like the peanut butter's like incredible, but I get more of it. Yeah. I really like it. Yeah. Maybe Cadbury eggs.

I'm way into Cadbury eggs and those the little. The carbon ones are the cream ones. They're regular cream ones, but I like that cream is. Cream is better. Dude, I'll eat one million of them. I like the caramel better. If I'm going to eat it, it'd be caramel. Yeah.

That and then the little like Robbins eggs, the chocolate with the caramel shell. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's like that. Oh, there's like woppers. Yeah, it's like that. I'm a big a fan. I eat so many of them. I eat so many of them that like it like fucks my tongue up. Because they're like kind of rough on the outside.

Right. Because like that candy shell is like a little too thick. You're turning your tongue in like a cat tongue. Yeah. Oh, wow. But with vampire teeth. Okay. So I'm kind of like...

You mean candy cart? Add that to the thumbnail. Huh. It's not really seasonal. You know, I like some fucking chocolate turtles. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's good.

That's good shit. It's usually like Hallmark. Like, if you're making a chocolate turtle, it better be quality. Yeah. Or like the, uh, the Texas version of the Longhorns. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Instead of like the, uh...

Walnut. Yeah. Look, I'm not a Buckeye fan. Where are the turtles? Where are the turtles? Where are. are they? I like the Buckeye candy. Buckay is pretty good. It's good. It's fucking sweet. It's a lot. Mm-hmm. The ratio is awful on that one. It's kind of like a recent, right? Yeah.

Like a Buckeye? Kind of. But it's a sweet. Because it's like, it's a round, like peanut buttery ball. Yeah. It's a chocolate ball with the peanut butter. Yeah, it's like it's a sweeter peanut butter. It looks like the Buckeye. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately. Okay. He loves Ohio State. He does. He had that. He had that. Cup? A big Ohio State fan. It's okay. It could be Texas Tech. Dude. Oh, wait, when this comes out. That's wild. If they haven't done something by now. Yep. So there was a quarterback, is a quarterback, right? Yes. At Texas Tech, Michael, who... He transferred from Cincinnati. Uh-huh. He had been caught, uh, betting on the sport. Yep. On his own team. Yes. And then... The thing that Pete Rose did, that was unforgivable.

Banned for life, whatever. So that happened. And then a judge just ruled, that's okay, actually. He can play. Let him play. Whoa. You'll never guess what area of the country this. Wow. And you're telling me.

Let him have cake. Yeah, he's a Texas Tech fan. Wow, no way. That's crazy. We're not a crazy. What a shock. And then the Lubbock area judge is okay with this. So they're going to let him play and everything.

And now teams are talking about boycotting playing Texas Tech at all. All together, yeah. Like killing the football program. That's cool. Which is what it would do. And the big, the big 10 was like, we're not going to play them in any sport. Yep, yep. Like, it would absolutely decimate them.

And that's- Wow. This car wants to get over here, huh? What's the grounds for just saying, no, you can't play? Well, if that would be what the rule is. No, but I'm saying, how to, how to, was there an elaboration on why? Oh, the judge? Yeah. Yeah. He just said, you can't block him from playing.

Right. It doesn't even like a reason. Uh-huh. Right. Did you hear what? It was like, you simply cannot, you don't have control over whether or not this person who's enrolled at your school in athletics. Yeah. Yeah. Can play?

I think they do have a jurisdiction there. Didn't he also said the appellate dates for like February as well? Uh, I probably. Oh, after the season. Yeah, after the whole season. Yeah. There's the tire. Yep.

Okay. Jordan really wants to go get there. That tire. We gotta get that tire. I know, but we, it looks like, it looks like the strong baddie. Oh, we can't see that. No.

Let's put a picture up in later. I didn't get one of it. I'll take one of worse. You took a bunch of pictures of it just now. Nope. We're moving pictures. Well, it didn't get them. Yeah, it goes right here.

It was in .5. Put that tire fixture in there. He's gonna look. He's gonna see the sound thing and he's gonna go, I better check what that is. What is this? Oh, fuck. God damn it.

Here's what it's for at that tire is a thumbnail. That's right. Cat tongue, candy corn teeth. Simple, funny. Tupor. Tubs. Yeah, oh, there you go. Dilda horn.

Put them on his fingers. Yeah. What? What? That's way more worse. Finger licked. Yeah. But it's worth it for the bit.

Now we're talking. It's worth it to stick it to you. Oh, shit. Guys, this truck doesn't work for Stalin anymore. Oh, it doesn't. What happened? Well, he was deposed. Well, you can still see it, though.

Yes, you can't. He was deposed. He was betting Kalshi Betz. I heard it was okay. This is just like that. No, he didn't call it. Yeah, it's good. I almost killed Jordan with the garage door earlier.

Really? Yeah, that was funny. Open, closed. Didn't see him pull in. Open closed. or something. Wouldn't that scream two? Oh, Michael.

You take this? Yeah, I'll take it. Oh, thank you. Somebody got stuck, like, in the garage door and got, really? I would say. Well, the garage door didn't kill them. Oh, it was the first scream. Stuck in it.

Was the first one? Yeah. She goes through the little doggy door. Yeah, and then it collapses. Then he, like, killed her. Is that a final destination rush? She gets stabbed because she gets stuck to me. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Yeah. Step bro, I'm stuck in the garage door. Well, that's what it is. That's exactly what it is. Except step bro was wielding something. It's like a house party. Stepbrough was packing another weapon.

Okay, Nick. What? It's a joke. It's a joke. It's a joke. Laugh. This long without it. Wow.

Laugh, funny, man. Laugh funny, man. Is this Nick Cage movie still on? Yeah, that'll do it. Oh, he looks so good. Is this driving? Oh, it's that guy. Drive Angry still on?

Yeah. Yeah. Nick Cage looks like shit in this movie. No, I think he looks good. It's brutal. God. Yeah. This is Amber Hurd, right?

Yeah. It is. It is. Okay. You saw this in theaters? Yeah. God damn. Jordan.

Michael has seen every tubey movie. I think it was drive angry. I think I might have been in 3D. Yes, it was. Because the first thing that happens, he blows the guy's hand off and it flies at the screen. And it's the guy from Prison Break,

season two. There you go. FBI guy? Boom. He's like the bad guy. He's like a devil or something. William Fisher? Yes, probably.

Let's look at that triple. Is it heavy? It's heavy. Michael, show him the triple. Which one is it? This one. Oh my God. Oh, my God.

I wonder they had to make more. Wow. Those are big. Those are big. Weak. Nick got stuff that wasn't the... Yeah. He's allowed.

Oh, it's allowed. I just don't think... We did it last guy. It's allowed. It's allowed. It's a monkey money for me. It's monkey money for his wife. No.

Never. Amanda, figure it the fuck out. She's not watching this. She might be watching you edit. Yeah. Yeah. Did somebody say my name? Yeah.

Nick edits full five. point one surround. He wants to make sure he actually doesn't my living room. He's right on the big screen. He's driving. Is it angry? He's fucking pissed. That was the main thing. Whoa.

Whoa. This is still hot. That's the limit. That looks bad. That green screen looks terrible. What are you talking about? Do you think she's pooping right now? I think she's leaving poop in his car.

Why? She was in... Whoa. That was a jump cut. Oh. She's an Aquaman. Yes. This is us at the light.

Yeah. And I think they like nerfed her in the second one. Yeah, they nerfed her. I never saw it. Yeah. She was smurfing it. She was supposed to be like a main character. Yeah.

Look, they're just hanging out. All crazy stuff was going on. This movie looks like shit. No one doesn't. It looks so. You know what it looks like? Her, like she's like the love interest to Nick Cage.

Crazy. Crazy. It's just like, ew. This is shot on, yeah. For Nick Cage. Digital. Yeah.

But like real early day. Digital. Yeah. The guy was holding that shotgun. Is that normal? Yeah. For hunting, I think it is. Oh, is it?

Yeah. Yeah, he's hunting. Nick Cage. Hell yeah. He's gonna hunt angry. That's a different movie. Aim for the head. Everyone just has a million guns.

Yeah. Also standing in the street where he'll run up over. Isn't this how the devil's rejects ends? This is crazy. All right, let's see this. All right, let's see. Hang on, watch Michael's first bite. I'm getting a fucking knife.

Here we go. Here it goes. Whoa. Whoa. Awesome. Can't spoil it yet. Watch the episode from two days ago. See it.

Ah! Spotify, it's Jay Shetty. Are you one of those media strategy people? Scrolling through spreadsheets, searching for an audience that pays twice as much attention to your ads than they do on social? Let me introduce you to fans. And they're here with me on Spotify.

Trust me, I know fans. They don't skip. They stay for hours. They don't move on, they manifest. They're not a demographic group. They're fans. Spotify Advertising. You're among fans.