100% Eat - Michael: Not a Tajin Guy - Taco Bell Ride Along

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

Don't worry, Michael feels better now. Grab pack and shack it on the ice cold taco! Bite transition. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. That girl was very nice. She was very nice.

She was very nice. What are you? Oh. Oh, that's still back here? It's back there. Careful. It's just careful. Hey, don't tell, don't tell Gracie.

It's kind of bend. Oh, no. It's got a bit of sausage. You got a bend to it? Let me see. Okay. Let me see. You saw it.

I'm not going to hit you, sir. I bet that guy's got a bend. That guy wishes you would hit him. Does he? Holy shit. That's Nick Superpower. You can just see someone and tell if they want to die. Do it do it fast.

Kill him. Kill him. He looks in the mirror every day. Oh, no. Oh, no. Another day to push it off. I would want to die if I didn't just get banana ice. Oh, did you stop at that place by Marcos again? No. No.

No, I didn't. Oh, you didn't go to the outskirts of Hutto? Right. That had the knockoff one that I hated. The one that you hated? Hey, did you get another one that you hate or did you get one that you like? Oh, I got one that I like near my house. Mm-hmm.

It was convenient on the way. They have a firework waffle. Oh. Maybe we should go there sometime. Yeah. I'll go there. Yeah. Ray loves waffle house.

Their breakfast is okay. Yeah, not even Big Ray. No one. I know. He went outside the house. He did. He went outside one time and he went. He was like, I'm here every day this week.

Hang on. Now they got food out here? You guys heard about this? You got, hey, chat, you know about this? He kept saying that at Waffle house. You know, no one's here. Chad, am I cooked? Chad is cooked?

There's waffles cooked, I'll tell you that. You can be cooked at a waffle house, though. Yeah, hell yeah. Well, you can definitely get chopped. Well, for 100% depending on who you talk shit to. Right, if you're complaining about the food, you will get a chair thrown at you. They got $10 rebees there. Before you...

Finally. Wow. That's pretty good. Before you go into Wavow house, you need to have a talk. It's like, all right, keep your head down. Yeah. Right. No eye contact.

Shut up. Just order. You write down what you want and you slide it across. That's how it works. All right, just going to aim the camera this way again. Yeah. Are you going to be friends with him? Okay, this is really funny.

You didn't see how Nick did it. Instead of just turning it to you, he went like this. Well, I went under him. Why? I don't know, I don't want on. He wasn't even looking this way. He also didn't stop. He stopped at every other car and looked into every car.

He saw us and he kept going. That was it. He saw the driver. He saw this guy. He went white guy. He was like, by the power of Brace go. I don't have money. Oh, that's what he thought.

Yeah. It's awesome. So that guy don't have money. Yeah. Dude, there's so many people out here. Not rich for my blood. There's another guy. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. They're all in like that corner. Oh, this guy's going to get you. I'm going to show up in a vest and just be like, hey, I'm here too. Hold the cup out. You do that, man. Yep. Are you with them?

Who's them? Who? Now, give me money. Yeah, I'm with me. Money, please. I was watching a video where it was like someone recording someone doing that, and then they followed them to their car. Oh, Jesus.

They, like, parked at a nearby McDonald's. Please go. Please go. They fucking green. And he's like, hey, wait. The shortest green light in the world. It's green, brother. No time. No time.

It was just a lady, like, panhandling and then going to her nice car. Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty cool. And they were just like, and they were just like, and the Mercedes S class. Yeah. It wasn't that nice, but it was nice. It was nice, huh?

And then she, yeah. started she acted crazy like she she started running away from the people and she I'm studying the video she ran to like a McDonald's window she was like they're these people are chasing me and the lady at the window's like what are you talking about man and the guy filming is like yeah she was panhandling over here but did you know she parks her car in your parking lot every day while she goes and she goes and then literally the lady just goes what are they talking about what they're they call call the police and they're like I mean if you want she's like

they want they they're following me And they're like, you can just get in your car and leave. Your car's right there. They're not stopping you. She was just like, I don't know what's going on. She just pretended to act crazy. That's so awesome. And I was in there.

She was like, why are you doing this? And they were like, why are you doing this? Nick, are they still playing soccer? Oh, they're dead. They must have got too hot. They're actually dead. They're all in the shade. They're all in the shade.

Jordan got too hot. They switched over to Panhandling. 15 minutes ago. Yeah, it was the perfect temperature. Better than it was now. Maybe it's halftime. The ladies come back in one bunch. She was like, do you think everyone doing it is homeless?

And he was like, well, most people. I would think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's sort of like the overarching sort of like thing with it. Yeah. Yeah. Stop interrupting my business. I'm at work.

So I can fuck with you at work. I just had to clock in for this. It's Eric's old car. All right. Oh, my God. My car. That guy spruced it up. That's right.

No, you know they're going to that car. I'm going to hit this guy. What? They got their hazards on because they can't see shit. He's got some stuff? Oh my God. You got some stuff in McBack. Oh, God damn.

They're driving a walk. Never a dull moment on these streets. No. Dude, when I was driving to the office today, it was a car. It was like right getting on. the highway. So it was going, the road goes from like 50 to 60, 60 to 70, 70, 75. And it's all pretty close together. Like you have, it's not that long to like build up speed to hit 75.

And then, you know, it's 75. I'm doing 80 usually, 70, 77, 80. There's always a cop that sits at one spot. And it's at the 70 point. Right. So if he's pulling your ass over, you're zipping 80, 85 past him. When you could do that in another 500, right? Just wait a lot. A hundred feet. Wait a second. Another quarter mile. Fucking guy flies past me and then pulls into my lane and then not like cut me off like, ah, like that crap. But cut me off, cop goes right in front of me.

So I was like, oh no! So I'm driving behind the cop because it's the turn to get toward the house. So it's me and then the cop and then the guy in front of him getting pulled over. I took a picture. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Memories. I was like, ah, ha, ha, ha.

You suck. It's, dude, it's not at all like, you can't even call it a speed trap. Right. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create.

a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca. Don't go 85 like coming out of a 60. Off the rip? Yeah. Bill up. I wait every day to pass that cop and then speed up. He sits in the exactest spot. It's out in the open. It's not like hiding off on the side. There's there's fuck you cops with like the sneaky fucks. Oh yeah like they would like high. Yeah exactly. This guy's like the neighborhood like, hey good morning. Yeah. It's like, dude, how does this guy pull anybody over?

Right, everybody knows this game. I don't understand, man. And anyone driving through here must be commuting. Because it's like driving, like, towards the city where it's not just like, oh, I was just passing through. I had no idea. I don't know. Osten, you say.

I'm familiar with this place. What's the speed limit on 130, Nick? 80. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 80. Yeah. I like how they built that as like a-

You gotta be cooking and get you know shit. A bypass for like trucks. Yes. Yeah, but they make them pay. But then they make them pay so none of the trucks wouldn't do it. Yeah. Well, make them pay. If they forced trucks to not take 35 and said you have to take 130, it would solve a lot of problems. So many problems through that 35 quarter.

Like it's so simple. There's so many like different solutions that nobody tries. Yeah, is it expand the freeway? And none of it works. One more lane. Well, I was going to mention. more lane. The speed limit for semi-trucks in California

is 55 miles an hour. I have never seen any of them going 55 miles an hour. You're supposed to have a governor on it, on like a lot of those trucks, too, so you can't go over. And it's for like rental trucks they put them on. Like not fucking big rigs and shit. Yeah, yeah. Not the ones that like

the contractors owned. God damn no. That's crazy. I didn't know they try to put governors on it. Yeah. That's absurd. If you rent like a U-Haul and stuff, they put governors on, like a lot of those. That's probably for the best, especially in California. Yeah, 100%, yeah, absolutely. Where the people who are driving those don't know how to drive them?

Right. There are people like us. Yeah. Wow, this, I remember the first time I rented one and I just went, whoa, they just like give you the keys. Yeah, right. That's what I don't. No training. No tips.

I had Megaband. Oh, Fred, when I rented that thing. Yeah. That was crazy, dude. Yeah. I was just like, why am I driving? Yeah. What the fuck?

I feel like I should have a special license for this. I did that too. It was just like, oh boy. Fucker. I am up high and this thing is big and I can't see everything. Yeah, it was wild. You can't see around you. You can't see behind you.

I did not feel comfortable. No. Not even a little. I was just like, I want to get to and from. Yeah. It was, it's fucking crazy. God, we used to have a, an RV when I was a kid and, oh yeah.

We took it up parts of PCH. That's wild. And the mountains and stuff. And I don't know how my dad did it. It's crazy. I could not. imagine driving something like that. It was like 35 feet. Crazy. Oh shit. Insane. That's, dude.

What you take this? Like, oh. Couldn't be me. Thank you. Whoa, this got some fucking heft to it. Yeah, dude. It's weighty. That's a taco bell. It is. That's all the tachine on it. I don't think so. Your seatbelt fell back. Nick got trapped in the seatbelt. Yeah.

Tried to kill me. Nick got here two seconds before I did. Oh, so you could get in the driveway, so I didn't help him. I just kind of. nodded at him. Hello. Oh, fuck you not. Well, it was a, I'm not moving mom. Yeah, that's what I said.

Yeah. Kind of the same spirit, I would say. Yeah, but it was meant nicely, you know. Fuck you. No, no, I just said I'm not moving. I'm inconveniencing you. Get fucked. No, as opposed to inconveniencing me?

Friend. Sucks to suck. Right. You're all just proving what I said as I said. No. No. One of us was getting inconvenience. It wasn't going to be me.

Yeah, it would have been a really good right. Imagine you like back at first, like, lets you park and then he- Well, I told him, why don't you just park in the garage? Yeah, the- I don't have a garage. His car doesn't even like pre-cool. Okay. So, we got Taheen stuff. Michael, not thrilled.

Why? Not a Taheen guy. What are you talking about? Michael, not a Teh-Han guy. He wasn't thrilled at first. It's tiny, right? He said it's tiny. It's so small.

It's tiny. He went to the bathroom and he came out and he said, everything's great. This, because the other stuff. the other stuff you got. And then check it out, Nick. Whoa.

They give you extra taillian. Wait, is there not Tehine on it already? Are we doing it or something? I don't. I think there's some on the shell. But you can add more if you choose. Yeah, they shelled it. The lady was really excited about it. She really wanted to try it.

You're good, they're good, they're good. Well, she was like, oh, you're trying the new stuff. She was like, you're going to love it. You have it. It's that and a regular taco also. After she, like, was like, you guys still wait for your food? And we were like, yeah. She goes, what's the name?

You go Eric. And then she goes to the computer. And he was like, oh. And then I think started making it. Yep. Yes, she did. And it was like, oh, I guess I should make food. Yeah.

Zander? Yeah, we're watching Triple X. The James Bond kiss. This is the coldest taco I ever had. Well, it's because the pico is really cold on top. It's really cold on top. There you go. It's also falling apart.

Is this any good? I guess we'll find out because it's, The Taheen is really something. All right, bite transition. Okay, bite transition. There you go. Nice. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer.

That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can kill. carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca.