100% Eat - Microwaved Clams & Mustard Watermelon - Delayed Justice LIVE at Home Brew Austin

Episode Date: July 11, 2026

Our Hero Judges are ready to rule on some cases that slipped through the cracks. Live from Home Brew Austin, court stenographer Eric will read the crimes to Judges Michael & Jordan to get a ruling. Luckily there's not hungry little monkeys scampering around for a taste. On the docket: mustard watermelon, burger juice, microwaved clams in oatmeal, and MORE! Submit your Food Crimes to the court by signing up at Patreon.com/100percenteat OR email [e-mail] Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

to 100% eat food court delayed justice live. Your honorable judges Michael and Jordan presiding, gentlemen, an incredible day on the docket. But let's get started. Bang those gavels as we begin. Beautiful. Court is in session. Incredible.

Bail of sauce monkey, nowhere to be found. Brito, you want to see? on that mask? He's in the back sweating to death. Dude. Yeah. By the way.

By the way. It was Mando in case you didn't know. Yeah. And get this. Get this. The whole time. I thought it was crazy that Freedo was in two places at once.

I don't know. So we've been doing some food courts, but we've been doing some delayed justice. We've been doing things to kind of get things off of the docket.

How's that going? Yeah, we're backed up. backed up yeah I mean what do we have like 700 I have a number of them we have ones from before we were like tracking the submissions oh yeah

and you get you a priority submission look it's a government thing it's lost it's an old website the doc it's difficult you got a Patreon.com slash 100% eat to sign up and get a priority submission we're talking about our own thing it's okay

I wasn't interrupting you. I've moved the microphone away. You chose to stop the show and made it because all look stupid. Well, these are old cases that we want to revisit here at the 100% Eat Food Court. This first one is from Eden. Eden Co. says, mustard on watermelon. What the hell? We're out of the bat.

The first time we've had a live audience that isn't like the Discord chat just like spamming. Ew! Criminal. Prison. Prison. Prison. Yeah. You know? There's less bald Eric pictures in person. Yeah. Come on. If anyone could do something about that?

No. Is there anything of a razor? You've got an iPad that's pretty big. Do they specify which kind of mustard? They simply said mustard on watermelon. I assume it's yellow. Here's what I'm saying. Yeah.

If someone's coming out of, like, left field saying mustard on watermelon and nothing, you know it's yellow. It's yellow. It's 100%. It's even more. 100% yellow, right? Like, mustard on watermelon's disgusting, but you'd think they'd have it ready to be like, yeah.

Here's the kind of mustard. Yeah. And this is why it worked. Yep. It's fucking yellow, dude. What gets me about this one is that they're presenting it with so much confidence. Oh, they are, they just, that's the whole message. That's the whole message.

Yeah. Disgusting, Eden. Disgusting. What the fuck? I can't imagine what kind of mustard or like. What do you think? What do you think they're getting out of it? Like, what is the flavor profile where they're going, bro?

They probably think water. Nothing. They probably think watermelon. doesn't taste like anything. And they're like mustard. It helps it taste like something. That would be insane. It helps it taste like mustard?

I have two problems with this. It's that, you didn't explain which mustard. Correct, yeah. It means yellow. Uh-huh. And then also, you haven't even...

Why? Where's your goddamn story? Do you know how the show works? Yeah, that's... I plead to the court. Here is my case. Mustard. Started mustard.

Well, what do you expect from these food criminals? So, what's your ruling on mustard on watermelon? Terrible. Don't do it. it. Terrible. But also... But I'm more upset with your presentation. Don't fuck yourself. Yeah. You've wasted the court's time.

Like an extra punishment for him for like his presentation. Yep. Whoa. Maybe not hanged. No, that's not how this this works. Usually we go, whatever happens outside the courtroom, we can't control it. Okay.

Roat justice is your own. That's a different show. That's a different show. That's a different show on a different channel. You're going to go talk to the sauce monkey backstage. You guys have a show. show in your feet. Hang. Because he could hang someone with his

bare goddamn hand. Just picking them up off the ground. Just a catcher's mitt. So rule on it. What do you say? For or against? Against it? Against him. All right. That's maybe the fastest ruling we've ever done.

I love it. This is from fang snuzzles. Excellent. Wonderful. Don't say what? Don't say what? That's their government name. Fang snuzzles is written in.

I sometimes eat grapes in a certain way. So far so good. Like, do you put them in your mouth? Great question. I'll bite the tops off, squeeze the sides, and suck out the seeds. Then swirl my finger around the hole left by the seeds

and feel around with my tongue before eating the rest. That is not eating. That is doing something else to the grape. That sounds like something boyfriend material would have covered earlier today. Yeah. And I'll tell you, I think about 90, percent of the letters of what it is is in grape.

That's for you, really off color. Jordan go bonkers at live show. Jordan feels empowered. It's crap. So, bite off the top of the grape. Already weird, but whatever. Squeeze the sides. Boop, boop, boop.

Not like a little fun squeeze, but they're squeezing to bust the seeds out. To suck out the seeds. to swirl their finger around the hole. You get your hand involved. Are you even eating anymore? Left by the seeds, and feel around it with my tongue

before eating them. That's a great question. You shouldn't have been. And also, also. Your hands clean. How big is this fucking grape? Right? Because this is, I assume it's one of like the larger

seeded grape. Like a seeded grape. Order in the court, please. I know this is shocking. Please. You ever just eat a bunch of grapes in a row? By the time you're done with 13, they're halfway done with their first one,

because they're sucking it dry. Is there a question at the end of this? No. Okay. I read it all. Usually they're like, I know it's weird, but hear me out. Did the email start with, hello, my little grapes?

I'm going to put my finger where the hole was. It's... finger, tongue. Like, squeeze, so many steps. I'd be like, one of any of this would have been enough. Some of these rulings are like, not for us, but like, you do you.

I'm with you, this is not a food thing. Yeah, we need to step in and be like, not a food thing. Stop before, like, other things start happening. So this is how you eat grapes? Grapes, anything, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it started with grapes. It's the process. It's the process. It's the slippery slope.

Jesus Christ. And this is, and this from fang snuzzles, which you would not expect this from. Yeah. I've met a feng snuzzles or two in my life, and they've all been stand-up citizens. Yeah, they've been eating grapes normal style. So what do you think the ruling is on fang snuzzles here? Honestly, I know we

like, you know, we kind of reacted strongly to it last time. Hang? Oh, you're on his side now. You ought to start hanging people. I mean, it's North Texas. They just brought back the firing squad, right? You can read you can get fire squatted here now.

you can be hung for grapes. It's tough. It's tough state. So what's your ruling here on fang snuzzles? Put them, my ruling. Put them on a list. Yeah, yeah. A list, like a...

Hang on. Yeah? What? Hang on. I was going to leave it to you. Okay. No, you weren't. You were jumping for it.

Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Put this man on the list. On my good list. The worst thing about this is that that's a two-year-old submission. Who knows what... Oh, they keep doing that happened on to by now.

Banks, snuzzles, if you're watching this, shame on you. But also... If they have TV in the facility you're in. This is from us. I hopefully, hopefully we can't... They broadcast us on Channel 4. Yeah, yeah. Public access, probably. Let us know where you're being housed.

We'll put some money on your card. It's right now for the woman who can't play Zelda. I got about that. Hey, that was a good one. The retro reads. All right. Okay, so this is abhorrent behavior, and it's quite concerning, and you should be institutionalized. Yeah, I agree with that.

Thanks, thanks on. Is there one about food? Is there one about food? Hey, here's a crazy thing. I put salt on tomatoes. You're not going to believe what I do to the inside of the tomato. Oh, no. You see an American pie?

Salt is what I call. You ever, you know, are you familiar with the D.C. sniper? Uh-huh. Yeah. So I have my van. I'll put the back of my van. And I put the curtains, and I drill a hole through it, and I get in there. And then that's when I start eating the apple.

This next one's from Nicholas T. Okay. The normal name. Hero judges. That's you, Hero, Judge. All right. Also good start. Very good start.

Innocent. I come to you with a food dispute. When eating beef burgers, insane way to state it, cooked at home, my brother and I disagree on bread choice. Okay. My brother refuses to have untoasted bread, as he says, that if, left untoasted, the juices soaked to the bottom slice of the bread and affect stability. I, however, believe in

using regular bread as I am a fan of butter melting on my bread, as my brother calls it, breadsog. I should add, sometimes, what? Sometimes my brother adds more to the burger than I do. He has sauce, jalapinos, cheese,

and more. So really, I'm not arguing stability, just the toast tastes worse. Is he crazy for using toast? Am I weird for enjoying the bread sog can both be true? Bread sog is such a... So this guy wants to eat sog...

This guy wants the blood that comes out of the hamburger to soak up in the bread. Sure. That's what he wants. First off. Yeah. He keeps using the term bread.

Yeah. Yes, I'm the same thing. He's not saying fun. What are we talking about? He's saying bread. Is he talking about... Are you talking about white bread? White bread?

Like sandwich bread? Sandwich bread? Sandwich burger. Include the goddamn important information. Now, this one was so thorough. Okay, so. But then bread. Now, here's something to parse.

That's the most important part of this question. He says, I am using regular bread. What the fuck is regular bread? Well, it depends if you're like anglocentric or not. Regular bread to soak it all up. It sounds like he's saying regular bread, as in not toasted. Uh-huh. That's what he means.

I'm just imagining they're using... I'm thinking... They're using white bread. You're both insane. They're both crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, that's a... That's a pinch situation.

It is. I've been in that situation before. You got white bread? Yes, use it over nothing. Right. But if you're at the store shopping and you're going, here it is. Why would I buy buns? I have bread.

Here it is. Yeah. This is it. Bread. Bread. I got to put bread with hamburger. Why? It's still cup juices.

Dude, any bread, unt toasted, any bread. Anything that's... It's not a bun is not a burger. Yeah, I mean, sourdough is better, but we don't know because you didn't tell us. You didn't tell us the most important part. Soaking it up is the thing that he likes. I mean, moving past the bread part to now this part, where, yeah, I've been in that situation where you use white bread on a burger.

Absolutely. And it sucks. Yeah, but why do you still do it now? Awful. Why'd you write in? It's me, Nicholas. It sucks because, like, the moment you touch it, it sucks. Because, like, the moment you touch it, it much, thank you.

Yes, bold Eric! Everyone, look at this man's iPad. Don't clap for it. Yeah. All right, thank you. Thank you to, like, this word is here with us in spirit. Thank you to, like, these four people who didn't clap, really appreciate you. Can you please clap now?

Don't. God damn it. So the moment you touched the bread on the burger patty, it. it mushes down to it and sticks to it. Well, here's the thing, too. When it becomes flat. It's just so vague, because you're not telling us the bread, when you say, it soak up the juices,

there's a bread you, I like when it soaks up the juices, but it's, it contains it. And it's because, like, a bun soaks up juices. And a bun is strong. It's like, soak up juices and disintegrate. Yes. And it's like, is that what you're talking about? It's like a raccoon trying to wash cotton candy.

Soaking up the juices doesn't mean desintegrate bread. But I feel like that's what you're saying. Yeah. I think his brother is using toasted buns. I think he is using white bread. That is how this reads to me. I would say at least, like, if you're in a pinch, toast the bread. Right, right.

White bread's, it's always better. It's not even a stability thing. It can soak it up and it won't, like, disintegrate. Because here's my thing. If it's kind of disintegrate or you don't have the option, I mean, just, like, put it, like, eat it with a fork of knife or something. Right? Yeah, like, honestly. Come on rice.

Do a local moco style. Put it a bowl, right? Exactly. The bread is the final part, like less the flavor for me. Like, yeah, I like the bread flavor in the burger. But it's to transport it from hand to mouth. Yes. Otherwise, yeah, because you don't want to be touching.

Soggy, soggy bread eliminates that. You've already failed. I don't want to be like getting like... We're not fuzz snagle or whoever it was, touching our food and then putting in our mouth. I just read the next one. Sorry. All right. Well, I don't like either one of them.

Yeah. But I lean towards the Toasted Brother Yeah, if I don't Like I gotta pick one Toasted Brother, I'm with you Toasted Brother, dude Yeah I would have to agree

Okay You are, because you were about You were talking about the grapest Earlier Is that? Grappist. Grappist? He grabs.

This is from Alex E. Just looking over, It's a long one. Your heroes? Holy shit. That's right here. Dear Heroes, I find myself on the sour end of a food dispute.

I want to bring the topic to you for a hammering toward my friend's food habit to see if it was warranted. Oh, I was telling my friend about a seafood dinner I recently had, and she agreed that she also loved seafood. Okay? Normal, right? Uh-huh.

However, she, oh, then she goes, however, she then goes into her favorite seafood creation of her own making. From what she told me, one of her favorite seafood dishes is a can of clams warmed, up in the microwave. You can buy clams in a can?

Can't have some canned clams? Can't clams? Get some canned clams. Can't clams inside a span? Never thought about it, never wanted it. Well, this isn't a front to nature. It gets worse. She then takes the warmed up clams and dumps them into a bowl

of warm oatmeal. This is where I stopped taking it seriously. Like, you're making shit up. Huh? Uh-huh. Her reasoning. Stop. Close your eyes. Think about it. Think about it.

Her reasoning, it's an easier and healthier alternative to baked clams. Did baked clams have oatmeal in it? I don't need to... What? Healthier? No. I was appalled and hammered her about this. However, I have a guilty conscience.

Well, I wanted to make sure that the hammering was warranted. Thus, I bring it to you. Your ruling is much appreciated. sincerely Alex from Long Island. Look, trust your gut. I mean, it's hard to say, I don't eat seafood. I don't like clams. None of this seems right.

Yeah, yeah. I also am not into like... That's also you really lead up like sentence after sentence after sentence of like, I like seafood. I'm a seafood person. I get out there, I see seafood, I get it. Here's what I get.

This is my first choice. Clams, nuke them. Omeal? You got them? Put them together. TIG got a little spoon, I cracked the clams open. I put the oatmeal inside the clam. I swish it around.

I spit it around in there. Then take that clam, shoot it like an oyster. How do you feel? Do you feel like you've eaten it? Oh, my God. I can't think of any food that is improved by adding it to oatmeal. Oatmeal's kind of like a fruit. Omeal's like a one thing.

It's an oatmeal is oatmeal. Yeah. Even something less offensive than micro meal. Wraved clams? What you add oatmeal ever to? This is one that like fruit. This like makes my eyes sweat. Like it makes me feel like...

Oh, we're gonna be sweating more than that more. We're done with you. Armando, start heating up the clams. Heat up the oatmeal. Alternative to baked clams is microwaved... The logic does not... There's not a connection there. They're trying to be like,

It's just like baked clams. You microwaved them and put them in oatmeal. There's like not another food that you... Stop, Jordan. I'm getting hungry. I'm trying to follow your logic, and I simply can't. Dude, I love seafood. Me too. Have you ever had microwaved baked clams? Hang on. I'm not finished yet. Let me tell you how I do it. Are you familiar with the Quaker Oat Sky?

He helps out. Yeah, he's a seafoodsman. So what's your ruling on Alex's friend? Hang them. A lot of people are being hung. The question of like, are they open to a hammering? Yeah. Like, trust your gut on that one.

Clammering. Oh, they were clamoring for a hammering. Get them. That was, that was wide. I really liked that one because he struggled to get that. That one ever said to see me feel. Jordan, I had some real Can't Betrayal flashbacks. If you guys...

Can we get some boiled penis out here? If you guys didn't watch the Camp Betrayal Watchal along that we did on our Patreon, do it to watch Michael eat... If you don't want to sign up for the whole saga because you like us, but you don't like us six episodes worth, just watch episode two. Watch...

Michael eats the grossest food I've ever seen and then sees that it's making me sick and then eats it more and louder and I almost threw up on set. It was so bad. What a ruin your makeup. It was really funny. Griff was there too.

She was eating with me. I dropped a whole plate of food. On the other side of it. Man. You can reminisce about it. Your summer travels deserve an upgrade. With select Chevrolet, Buick, GMC, and Cadillac vehicles

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Activia contains over one billion probiotics per serving to survive and reach the gut alive. When it comes to gut health, Activia is the number one family doctor-recommended probiotic Yogurt brand. Choose Activia. Feel good from the inside out. Visit Activia.ca for more details. This next one is from K or Queenie. Which is it? Either. It's up to you. All right.

When I make grilled cheese, I like to dip it in syrup to add some sweetness. Okay. I understand it's not normal. Okay. But I don't think it's that crazy of a mix. Not necessary, but it's not microwave-clammed oatmeal. Hey, the flavors. work.

Gives it a hint of French toast, you know. I'm sure you all will understand. Are you sure? It has to be the I bet it's the cheapest fucking log cabin ass. Aunt Jemima score model.

What does make it taste like French toast because it's egg. Right? Right. That's, yeah. I think it's just bread and syrup. I mean, tricking your brain with like grilled bread and syrup is like, this is halfway there. Yeah. All right.

So, was that something you would ever try? Is that something we should try? Is that something Nick wants to do? I'd try it. That's not crazy. Unless you're about to bring it out right now, no. No, I'm not. Hang on, pull the audience.

Is that something you guys would try? Yes. That's a lot. That was too many yes. Mostly yes. It was mostly yes, but here's the problem. Uh-huh. It's like, we do want to know, but not that much.

Is that something you would like to make sure that Eric tries? Yes. That's how you get nothing but yes is. Nothing but yes is. And Nick will be back in town after Jeff stares him down and kills him, kills him good. And then he can eat, he can eat syrup. Is this, whatever you just say? Is this what we, is this the thing that we filmed this week?

I guess, I don't care. Stop talking to me. I'm running out the clock here. We're almost done. We're going to do meet and greet. I'm going to stand away from you and I'm out of here. No, we sit next to each other, right? I've got to look at you again.

Come on. I'll be the buffer. Oh, thank God you. I'm actually paying Armando. That's right. We will be doing a meet and greet after this also, so stick around. But like, if you don't want, want to, don't make the line longer.

You're free to leave. You can go insane. Don't feel obligated. So what's your ruling here on Queenie? Do we have to try it? Is that what you're saying? No, that's what you keep saying. The way it ends with like, I'm sure you understand.

I personally do not. Here's my thing. I don't really think it's like. I don't understand the connection. But it also just seems like a honey thing to me where like people would honey on everything. Monkey, try it. Monkey, he'll fucking try anything.

Yeah, he'll like it. That guy will eat fried shit, okay? Yeah. Wow. Come be good. Good be good. Frit shit. Right shit.

What do you think? I'm fine to try it. I think it'll be like either, here's what it'll be. It'll either be like, yeah, that sucks, or it's not as bad as I thought. What I don't understand is you've already busted out the pan. Microwaved clams with oatmeal. I can't, this is not even worth of discussion to come after this.

You busted out the pan. I've just been shot five times and you're talking about a B-sting. Yeah, but he stung me so bad. All right, so the ruling is it's not microwave claims with oatmeal? And Eric's going to eat it. What? What the fuck? Very well.

This next one's from Shane, who's up. Is this fair? You, Shane? Did you submit? No. He says no. We'll find out. Is that a lie?

Do you have one? Is you really, Shane? Shane, let us know if this is you. My friend's partner eats cupcake wrappers and sucker sticks, apparently every time they have one. No, that part's not edible. Shane, no? What's a sucker stick?

Like the, like the... Lollipop. Lollipop sucker? Oh, okay. Yeah, you know. You know, like, you eat like a lollipop, and then you go more. Yeah, you're not supposed to eat those things. They're paper.

Okay. They are paper. Uh-huh. Which is an organic material. Uh-huh. Do you think you could, do you think you... Although the cupcake one. Yeah.

Like, that's usually, like, so waxed and stuff. Like, I don't think that's good for you. Yeah. I think you might be able to, like, digest the paper stick of a lollipop or a sucker or something. Okay. If you do it once every few years, maybe. What about every day? Yeah, that's where it becomes the problem.

About three times a day. Is that it? There's no like... No, that's it. They really like it. They think it tastes good. That's the whole thing. Yeah.

Yeah. My friends, partner... These people always leave out the most vital detail. And sucker sticks, apparently, every time they have one. They also say I have pictures of this discovery upon request. The picture would just be hands going... Oh? It's gone.

Tana. I ate it. One picture is them holding it, and then it's gone. You shouldn't be doing that. That's not a, like, oh, that's so gross. Yeah. Don't put things that aren't food in your body. You know, when I...

I'll buy a soda from the convenience store. Should I eat the bottle? You can chew on it. You try to get macro plastics? Yeah. Okay, fine. I just peel the wrapper off and eat the wrapper. Yeah.

The wrapper. You can chew on the top as you've discussed me. You waste our time ago. The little band left over after you open it. That's the best goddamn part. You can have that. You got to make sure it's even. You roll it down like a condo.

Yeah. It snaps off. You can't have it a skew because it drives you nuts. You either have to take it off or pull it down. Right, me. It drives me nuts. That's what we, that's what we say? There you have it. So what's your ruling on eating this stuff?

Oh God, stop. Again, that one's like, what, two years old? Yeah. That sucks. They're probably dead by now. They're dead by now. Sorry, we didn't get to you sooner. Yeah. All right.

You don't have to clap for that one. They're free. No, they're wooing you off the stage. They want you to wrap it up. This next one's from Flint Hazard. That's a cool name. Bath spaghetti Hold on, hear him out

Sounds relaxing Years ago My sister entered her house That she was renting With a friend from high school She hears her friend yell I made Skettie My sister responds

Where the fuck are you Her friend replies I'm in the tub eating Skettie Could you grab me the Parmesan Ruling one Stop calling you My sister replied Nope, get it yourself.

She says that she headed upstairs for the night. To my honorable blood judges, have you ever eaten anything in the bath? No. If not, would you ever consider it? No. No, I haven't. I'll be honest with you. I was waiting for this.

I'm cooking it in the bath. Yeah, right. Oh. I get the water real hot. Bath, Skettie. Yes, that's what I was waiting for. I'm submerging the skeddy. I don't eat anything in the bath.

Like, the bath is for drinking. Bath is getting for getting blackout drunk, and maybe you fall asleep and fall under the water, and then no more problems anymore. A fitting end. You know what I mean? A fitting end. Like, oh, no, I didn't mean it,

but all my problems went away. Eric's dream, you know? Sometimes you close your eyes and don't wake up. Thank you, guys. I understand that, but that's heavy, heavy drinking. Uh-huh. Bath, Skettie to me seems like make Skettie. I'm not even super opposed to eating in the bath,

but it's, but like, what do you eat? That seems like so just complicated. The spaghetti of all things. Well, because here's the thing. Yeah. Gettie doesn't bother me because mess. Here, I'll be a defender of this, right? If you're going to make a mess, the bathtub's the place to do it.

That is, it's true. Oh, no, I spilled. Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. Not anymore. But you got to- It's getting no more. But it's less the eating and the getting on you. It's more of not dropping your food in the bath.

Yeah, yeah. If I'm bathing. Then you're in it. If I'm bathing, I'm bubble bathing hard. Okay, I'm going to, I'm putting it. They say ounce, fuck five ounce. Yeah, now we're talking. Home alone style.

Just show overflow. Get those bubbles. Kevin McAllist, your style. I'm taking over the house. And so I would have bubble soap all over my bathskelly. Yeah, that's true. Tough. But it seems like a crazy thing.

On top of it, you're going full-blown bath scetti and you're leaving behind the Parmesan? Yeah. You forgot? You forgot? You went in the tub? You went in that far? I guess this is like a Seinfeld episode all of a time. It does.

Like George is definitely. It's Seinfeld or Sunny for sure. Yeah. George figures out he can have dinner in the bath. Yeah. And it's very much. It's efficient. Yeah, it's that. No cleanup.

I'm cutting down. I'm washing, I'm washing the plate right in the tub. And that's the whole episode. Yeah. That's the B. And then Kramer's like, hey, you're on to something. It's the B story. Yeah.

I've done a lot of shower beers. I've done a lot of shower beers. Yeah. Right. I stay in a hotel that had a... You have a problem. No. Beer refrigerator in it.

Did I ever tell you about Rocco's bathroom sandwich? Now that's the George Costainza move. No, Rocko. Rocco, Rocco from Mega-64 once told me about how he made a sandwich, sorry,

and then had to take a shit. So he took the sandwich into the bathroom and ate the sandwich while sitting on the toilet. Okay. And then had the realization of, well, this is everything. This is human existence right here.

This is beginning, middle, and end right here. It's, yep, and so he ate bathroom sandwich. How many views did the video get? Yeah, you know what? He should do it in the bathroom. He hasn't done it again, so it's a tough one. It's a tough one. But Bath, Sketti, what do you think?

I wouldn't eat spaghetti in a tub. Yeah. And I wouldn't eat a sandwich on a train? I was trying to think of something that would rhyme and just wasn't worth it. It's tough. What's up? There's a difference. Yeah, there are different spots, yeah.

I would do food in bathtub because it's inconvenient. Yeah, I just, you shower beer's great. Don't eat food in the bathtub. I think the most food you could eat in the bathtub would be like... Here's bathtub food. Like, girl dinner. That's bathtub. Oh, yeah, like chips.

Yeah. Graves, like not a snack. Not that kind of grape. Don't do weird grapes. Not weird grapes. Cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like a bunch of wine, a wine.

Maybe you slip under, never wake up. Yep. Oh, and what a way to go out. And what a way to go. I'll snack in the tub. I'm not going to have like... Gettie seems elaborate. Not a bull spaghetti.

Not a whole thing of spaghetti. So what's your rolling on Basketti? Don't Basketti. That was pretty weird. Don't basketi. I got to say. And then don't ask someone else to help you do it. Yeah.

Right? Have some shame. We got the last one here. All right. Last one. Last case. This one's from KCN. KC.N.

Dear Honorable Bug Kings, Nick and Eric. Always last. Congratulations. Nick's not even here. He didn't even hear. He didn't even hear. You got a name mention before you and he didn't show up. I'm in the state.

Damn, dude. The fuck? They're leaving. Yeah. No shit. Any more. No shit. Have you seen what we're doing up here?

Of course they're leaving. My food dispute is as follows. When my girlfriend has run out of jam to put on her morning peanut butter and jam toast, she substitutes jam for whole raw grapes grapes on her peanut butter toast. No more grapes. Her justification is that grapes are the primary

ingredient in jam. No, they're not. What? So the resulting combination is 80 to 90% of your standard PB&J. I disagree. Surely the grapes are too juicy and the grape flavor cannot concentrate enough to create anything other than soupy peanut butter and disappointment. It is in no way, shape, or form close. That's what I'm saying. Like, oh, you can have a grape jam, that's a flavor thing. You squish up grapes. You don't get jam. It doesn't become jelly. I don't I'm not a jam guy on how jam is made. There is a difference between jam and jelly as well. It needs to be pointed out.

And grape jelly is more of a thing I think than grape jam. Yeah, I offered to make her breakfast or even go out and buy jam, but she declined and insisted that I should try her abomination. I still love her, and I can fix her. But needs your help to change her mind. I humbly request that my honorable Bug Kings deliver 100% justice to this sinner and help guide her back on the correct path. Your loyal compliments,

Scrackle, Casey. Wow, wow, wow. It's easily, like, not a flavor thing. It's a consistency thing. Yeah. You're just putting... It's also kind of a flavor thing because it's always artificial grape flavor.

Well, that's not going to taste all like real... But they might be a heathen, Jordan. You're thinking of your own standards. True, true, true. I'm just saying, you're talking about, like, a spread. Yeah. You can't squish a grape into a spread. It's so sorry.

It's become a grape sandwich. It would be like... Right, right. Yes. Like, biting into, like, little grenades. Just do it. do the without the jam? And then just pop a grape in your mouth at that point.

And honestly, the hard part, I think for me is that every bite would take forever. Because I would bite the end. Trying to see over the counter. And then I would squeeze the sides to get... I knew. I knew. Yeah, and then I would go, I would go, and I'd lick out the middle.

And then I'd finally be able to take a bite of my peanut butter toast. I think the underlying thing here is that we need to make... Grapecy illegal? Make them understand that what they're doing is just like, the logic ain't things. there. Like, if you want to eat it, that's one thing. But your argument is like, it's pretty close. Yeah. Don't try to justify it. I think that's the hard part with food court is that a lot

of this is people going like, no, no, wait, hear me out. Exactly. And then you hear the magic you heard. Bates, clams in the microwave? It'll boil down to, and this is a scenario where like people are out of something and they try to place, replace with something. And it's like, they're just not in the same category. Yeah. I'm not even opposed to like, I get your logic here. But it's like, oh, shit. I have a flat tire. I need a new tire. Could do. tree stump. Make it a little round. You do trees.

Same thing. It's like, it's just not going to work, dude. Yeah. I mean, it's not going to work. Rubber comes from trees. No matter how many yeses there are. There's too many nose. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. There's too many barriers where it's not going to be that other thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just got to have it without the thing or just go get the thing. That's all to wait. Leave your fucking house. So many of these people are, let me solve all your food guard problems. I didn't have the thing.

Go to the store. Go buy more. I'm out of oatmeal for my baked clams. What do I hear? Don't go to the store. Don't leave your house. Go buy more, you bastard. So what do you think of grapes on peanut butter toast?

Nice try. No. No. Now maybe if it was soggy bread instead of toast. Just put them all together, put in a big old bowl of oatmeal, eat it in the tub. A squish ball. You wrap some, like, string around it. Pop it right in.

Yeah. Ugh. This one's gross. Rule on them. Die. Well, there you have it. The food court has seen its cases. The docket is clear,

and the food court is now closed. Thank you so much for joining us, the Honorable Michael and Jordan, with your rulings. If you want to see more, patreon.com slash 100% eat. You're not going to want to miss everything. And, hey, you can give us a food court submission.

We'll probably do a new one pretty soon. And probably some new watch-alongs. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. Dude, I saw The Furious. Oh, my God. We have to watch that movie. It's so sick. It's so sick.

But that's it for FoodCorp. Thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time.