100% Eat - Monkey Crazy for COOKIE BUTTER?!?! %% IHOP Xbox Indiana Jones Stuffed French Toast Menu

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

Our Heroes raid the tomb of IHOP for the new stuffed french toast menu. It's sponsored by Xbox. Sort of? We didn't really see that other than one little menu but okay sure, Xbox french toast. Either way, there's COOKIE BUTTER!!!! COOKIE BUTTER!!!!!!!!!!!! The monkey and our waitress go nuts for this stuff. But should you make a last crusade for this sugar bomb of a breakfast or is this whole meal a temple of doom? Grab a hat at https://100percenteat.store/ 100% Eat is sponsored by BetterHelp. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/100Percent Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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tenders, four regular size, and everybody's favorite, four buttermilk biscuits. Hurry up though, like the holiday season, Popeyes $25 festive family box deal will be over before you know it. Love that chicken with Popeyes! Welcome to 100% Eat, the show where Nick won't shut the hell up. We try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. Shut the hell up You know if you need it you probably do I'm your very normal post Michael Jones alongside my also extremely normal co-host Jordan swears Jordan, how are you sitting here this main? I am the closest one. I'm there for it

I'm in his orbit. I'm trying to ignore more extra than usual today. There's there. I feel like he is okay, okay, Nick We're not talking to you. We're talking about you. So it's kind of You could always hear us Something set him off like right before we were leaving I walk in here and He's normal. He's sitting on his favorite couch his favorite sofa chair, yeah, and It's like oh, hey, what's going on? Everyone's normal. And then we decide which Iop are going to,

and then he goes off. He goes off the rails immediately. I did walk in right behind you. I was here first, and I was puttering around in my car. You pulled up next to me. I saw you puttering. I was like, Jordan's here, I better get inside. And it was just three normal people

sitting inside when I walked in. Just three normal guys. And for some reason, those three normal guys and for some reason Those three normal guys did not make it out of the building out Well three other normal And then one screeching maniac what here's how it's good if we get robbed And we eat all of our food It wasn't even we eat all of our food we We have the option to eat our food while getting robbed

He wanted to make sure that that was clear So so I'm gonna reiterate, okay Now Michael, what did we What are we talking about? We did the I hop fully loaded French toast. There you go So here's what Nick posited and something we didn't really talk about is Nick said. Oh, we're gonna talk about something new?

Oh, this is? Point it out, we got them went over it all. They are. In the right along. Here's a detail that we left out. Take two, take two. When Nick is giving the best case scenario, as he just did with his hands up,

what he is suggesting is that as we get robbed, you put your face in the plate and chow down. That is, I'm not joking, I'm not exaggerating. That is what he articulated as we left. That is the situation that he keeps referring to as the best case scenario. It's also just extra strange to me because we got here at noon today.

Yes. And it's such a normal time. It's the time to eat lunch. You can't even be like, oh, we got here at five and like, I'm tired from some recordings or something else. It's been a long day. It's like the beginning of the day.

You can't see him. I saw him doing stuff and I just looked away. Hugh said noon and he went, I hadn't eaten yet. I looked away, dude. It was like he was going- That's strange because he hadn't even turned gray. That's what I was gonna say. He was gonna say you were fully colored.

He had turned into a weird gray ET in a parking lot. That was weird, dude. I was hungry! He was dying. And we had a lot of food. He was legitimately not emoting. Yeah. He just looked sick.

He looked really bad. And he was like, I'm hungry. Is that what you look like? Become sullen. I've never seen it again. He was gray. He was gray. His cheeks were sunken in.

He really was like withering away. Like we were saying, he looked like a bat or like a vampire or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He definitely looked like the life had drained from him. I'm hungry. Well, he was just years ago getting ready for Nosferatu. They didn't cast me though.

Shocking. Guess we'll have to go see Craven the Hunter instead. We went to the IHOP where robberies occur. Right. Famously years ago, when we had a studio nearby, somebody went to the IHOP and was there while it got robbed, somebody that we worked with. And so that's why we refer to it as the one more robbery that happened. So let me ask you, and maybe you don't know,

when that happened, did they have their hands up in best case scenario style, put their face down in their French toast or? They didn't mention it, so I can only assume it was worst case scenario, which was they hadn't gotten their food. They weren't allowed. Yeah, they weren't.

He said, everyone freeze and don't you eat that food! That's Nick's worst case scenario. Nick's worst case scenario is that we- Text him. Don't text him. All right, everyone, put the eggs in the bag. Slide your French toast. Give your hash browns and your, all your shit.

Is your worst case scenario that the food is in front of us and somehow we don't get to eat it, or is this worst case scenario that we go there, we just never get the food at all and we have to leave. You don't even get to smell it. Yeah. Yeah, but- Cause you eat with your eyes and your nose first

His spot first I'm gonna start tuning them out. It's impossible. Oh, I can build a wall, dude Could you tune up the people who were on a phone call? Man this is I can look away. I'm also now surrounded by it cuz there's a monitor here. There's a monitor there Here's right in front of me. I'm just it surrounded by it because there's a monitor here. There's a monitor there. You're right in front of me I'm just staring straight ahead. It's in like stereo Okay I mean if it's but my point was if it's the if it's the robbery IHOP They're probably used to it I feel like there's a good chance that if you haven't gotten your food yet the robbery occurs

They leave and then they make your food. Yeah. Oh yeah! Back to business. That's true. I think worst case scenario is they come when your food is on the plate, and they steal it, and IHOP goes, sorry, no refunds. And then honestly, sometimes they take your order, and you say the whole table's ready, and they take part of your order, and they go, I'll come back. Yeah.

And then we all sit there and go, and then then nine minutes later you come back with a single milkshake And then and then you come back with the French toast And then you come with the sad food that we had on top of that. Hey, hey, it was sad But not with fucking hash browns dude He wanted hash brown we got we got yeah. I look he did order hash browns with this food. So we got the French toast and are these, are these? What? Those are hash browns.

Was that real? Yes, it was real, dude. Are you okay? Yes, it was real. Sprite. Okay. Okay. We got the French toast.

But besides Eric, we all ordered other actual food. Cause I was like, I'm not eating this giant fucking sugar French toast monstrosity for breakfast. I want actual food. And so you got eggs, I got an omelet, he got an omelet. And they brought it out and we got toast and he asked for hashbrowns, also got toast. So it's like, we've got the giant French toast

We have all the eggs. We have all the shit and none of it looks good, right? But me honest with all looks like I have it's I hop and he's like, whoa I asked for hash browns and he's right, but I was just like I'm like, does it fucking matter dude? Look at this sad fucking table. We're looking at that's your trait You're trading something out and the hash browns have that fake buttery taste. I'm just like Really worth it. Are you probably did you have favor with the toast? Hey? Channels ruin my meal then she grabbed the toast did and she went oh, I'm sorry. That's on me. No. She said that's probably on me Could be.

Right. There's a 50-50 chance that I fucked that up. No, I think she was a little fair. It was like 65. Yeah, well, cool, cool. She was like, I'll be honest, it was probably me. She came back with hash browns so fast. She did.

She definitely just took them to another table. Were they cooked? They, I just can't, it was 35 seconds, and then he has hash browns. They're probably just always producing them back there. I guess. That was quick. That toast was gone.

She was really excited about all the food she brought us. Like for someone who works there, she gave me strong opinions. Don't get me wrong, I'm like, hey, you know what, that's fine. You wanna be like, I like this food, but it's IHOP. It is IHOP have been like pointing out like Whoa, you got eggs. Well, yeah looks good. I did she was very nice like the food the hype man

Yes, she was very nice and she had a lot of opinions about the food So what you like to her then boy this guy was lying through his fucking used car salesman style Was she trying to upsell us on some eggs? No, she was trying to help us I mean, I mean I'm gonna actually trying to Say yeah, it was like an I hop hack But it was an I don't care and it would have taken forever. Yes, like whatever money we saved by making the Stuffed French toast a combo. Yeah, and us eating the eggs and other stuff. I'm sure it would have been cheaper It would have been cheaper for sure taking forever, but figuring it out would have taken forever

I'm not and then and then we're like, oh we're good cuz I'm getting an omelet and thankfully that was just a good excuse because I include omelet was eggs and She's like, okay. What do you want? I'm like, can I get the jack cheese with just a whoa? Hang on? Oh my god, the jack cheese with just a whoa hang on hang on I didn't even listed two cheeses and she went ah She goes I don't know you're gonna make this complicated and then pulls out her Notepad and I was just like it took so long for her to pull out that notepad And I was like, you know me I'm here to make it difficult And I was like ordering food. You're crazy

And I was like, ordering food? You're crazy. Yeah, he did say that. I said it, also said it, like right in front of her. Oh yeah, and I was just like, I think I said something like, I'm trying it out. Something dude. And then you ordered, you ordered like the quick and easy. Yeah. Right. And I go, whoa, that was way faster than mine.

And then Nick ordered his and it was the same as your situation where she got most of the things and then had to ask about the other things. And he did get, I don't know if anyone noticed though, he did get hung up a little bit. Seeing that we were like, she's like, Hey, you ready to order? We're like, yeah, we're ready to order everything.

You ordered the milkshake, the French toast, and we have everything else. And she's like, cool, I'm going to put this in on, come back later. We're like, interesting. Then she came back, finally took her order. We, you didn't get anything we ordered he went last. He's like all the omelet with cheese and oh And I stared for a good second. I was like does he fucking seriously not nobody's ordering. It's been forever He pulled it out, but I should throw you off

What you want and what do you want? I'm just saying there was it not how my Couple second pause from like no way this man doesn't know what he's getting I could remember sauteed spinach And it wasn't sauteed in the end bullshit, so it was like an omelet wrap like what was going on It kind of felt that way yours was yours was green. Oh, yeah It's pretty yeah, but just on the outside yeah, and then was the eggs inside of it. That's crazy. No, it was like all wrapped around It was weird. Was it an omelet? What the fuck is describing?

I really I really just didn't I tried not to look that way as much as possible and I didn't think about it I was in the glare But I didn't really think about it. It's super bright I was the glare. But I didn't really think about it, it's super bright. And I was like, huh, there's green shit all over. And I didn't think, wait, that should be on the inside. That's actually kind of dawning on me right now. All my shit was on the inside and it looked nice and gray.

Yeah. Nice and gray. I was just like, hungry Nick. The only color on the whole table was the one stuffed French toast. There were three different kinds of French toast. The one stuffed French toast that had blueberries or whatever on it was the only thing

that had any kind of color. Everything else was beige and brown. Even like the omelets and stuff. They shouldn't like that on the inside, man. It was, what a weird. It was ham, cheese, peppers and onions in mine. And I'm like, oh, it looks like Gears of War. All around me are the bravies. Well speaking of Gears of War. All around me are savings.

I don't know what this has to do with Indiana Jones and the Xbox. That was going to be my question. I forgot about that. Like, it was all over the page. Like, is it just a product tie-in? Yeah, I think it's just- Can you get these French toasts in the game? Well, one of them is called-

I haven't encountered them yet. Is it a day one exclusive? I'm two and a half hours in and no French toast. Now, granted, you can eat biscottis. Yeah, okay. Oh, like the shake. No. Oh, that's biscotti.

That's different. That's a cookie. Yeah, no. That's not what a biscotti is. He took off his headphones. And he's so ashamed. It was a move of shame. He's standing up and leaving.

Yeah. Thanks, Nick. But I haven't seen French toast yet. Interesting. So I'm confused. So I don't really understand what- But you can whip people in the fucking face. And I was doing it like crazy, dude. It's so violent.

But it's fine, they're fascists. They're fascists? Fuck them. It's violent as shit and it's so loud. Like the whip crack is loud. You can also do it most of the time, even when're in areas where you like you can't hit regular people But you can do it and so I just keep going hey You're a notice Like you go to the Vatican and I just kept whipping it near priests. I always go

Better not find out you're doing anything shady Oh, well, dude that guy already got in trouble because he was listening to music and the boss priest guy was like boss I like this fucking shit Old red coat he was like he was just like I'm fucking like this shit stop dancing asshole What's it called Indiana Jones in the what the circle of trust the great? Judge in the great ass whooping So brutal I gotta say it's a horrible name for an Indiana Jones anything. The Great Circle? Yeah dude. Dial of Destiny was already pushing it. Yeah.

But Great Circle. The Great Circle is the game that's out and has something to do with this French toast or IHOP in some way that we don't, I still don't understand. You can get game pass. You're like, is it only on Xbox? He's like, yeah. And I'm like, no. And he goes, was it on the, was it on Steam? On the Steam? I'm like, yeah.

And he goes, well, I knew it was on Xbox. I knew it was on Xbox. I was like, right, I'm just saying. But, that was clear. Oh no, he goes, was it on PS5? And I go, I don't know, but I mean, it's on Steam. But here's the thing, here's what, right, but here's what you're not considering.

I considered it because you said it already, but please, resolve yourself. Anything is an Xbox. That's what he said. Oh. The Xbox, the console, the console, that's an Xbox. The X kind of just stands for blank. Yeah, and then the computer, computer is Xbox.

Cell phone can be Xbox sometimes. Shoebox is Xbox. Is that an Xbox? I did say vape is Xbox. Vape is Xbox. I have Xbox, but I don't have Game Pass. Oh, I thought that. Shoebox is Xbox. Is that an Xbox? I did say vape is Xbox. Vape is Xbox. I have Xbox, but I don't have Game Pass. Oh, I thought that was an X for the Xbox.

There it is, see? That's the original logo. Yep. I turned 360 degrees and walk away. Imagination. Yep. That's an Xbox. That's an Xbox.

So that is the way they're posi- Microsoft positions the Xbox to not be the console, but the Xbox is everything. Just so you know, this is part of his sea of lies. What do you mean? Yeah! Cookie butter roll is the best, right guys? We talked about it in the ride along where we got here and just stood here and talked again.

But we had to get to a certain time. This guy, as we all said, was freaking out every step of the way. Every step of the way. Did he say Moo? I think he forgot his name for a second. We? Moo? Moo-ding? I'm skipping past a bunch of shit, but like- That's fun. of the way these a moo I think he forgot his name for a second we move mooding

I'm skipping past a bunch of shit like that's fun he immediately started freaking out about the shake oh yeah slapping at it going nuts and cookie butter and cookie butter cookie butter that's okay that was part of the bit that's totally fine because it's similar to what happened. It's cookie butter. Uh, and we were, we were giving him shit a little bit for it. He just realized how he was slapping the, cause he was- Yeah, he's not slapping, that's happened, that's different. He started doing it again, and then he went, oh, I see what I did.

You went to clank too. Yeah, when did I clank? I don't know. You must've. But we were just kind of like, shut up, shut your mouth, stop, I did a dramatic reenactment where I punched it on the table It was so loud And I just I took the mini from America when I put it down and then away

I don't want to do anything as it hurt my hand It was so loud all the silverware and plates like jumped off the table came back down. It was so loud You couldn't hear that person's phone call for oh my god What the fuck but like that'll happen for real on this guy she comes over and he's like oh look at the milkshake And and she goes oh, that's my favorite Eric goes can't wait to try can't wait and then I and I go we've been talking Technically not I like that exactly oh yeah, no I mean I made a very clear point to not lie What do you mean? I couldn't? He lied, I did not lie. I went, we've been talking about it.

And I had the biggest smile inside. When he goes from like, shut your car, shut up, I'm coming with a fucking thing. Can't wait to try it. It made me laugh so hard on the inside. I just didn't laugh at the woman's face. And then I had to add on like,

we've been talking about it. I found that so fucking funny, but that was the start of his lies, and then he just kept lying, dude She brought us she brought us all of the French toast or whatever she's like this one's my favorite But I haven't tried the other one. Oh wait. I tried these two Way later yeah, it was back 20 minutes later. I was like yeah, I love these I've tried those two not that one and I'm like you just told us I had one Yeah, did you were you wrong? Did you lie or did you go eat one just now? It's a honest question or is everyone lying today? She came back and before she said anything I just looked at her and I went you were right. Yeah

Nothing you went you went this is the one right? This is the one she had such like Nick Gracie energy like with her coming up Hey, you're right He's he's looking for a he's like a rat in a bucket like what it's like put against like a man's chest And he's like trying to claw his way out He is like delightfully chomping away. He is. He is looking for and he's like just pointing fingers going like, how do I get, how do I, how do I, how do I not? I'm trapped. I'm trapped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

He's I'm taking Jay walking. I'm taking a picture of this. It went from stepped into traffic. You were in the parking lot. Now to Jay walking. There was no street and you weren't crossing. I was taking a picture of you two and this motherfucker who's holding up his he's going like this and going See for cookie butter. See for cookie butter. See. See for cookie butter. He did do it because he was doing it towards me and I think It was very fast. I'm a little certain the picture of me like this looking at it because you weren't there very long I'm a little certain the picture of me like this looking at it because you weren't there very long

And then you pointed that out anyway fucking get run over yeah, he's like immediately clapped back at you The car did stop and wait every wave to them I went out of the way But then they were also like boom and like sped up to get by you It's like I was like oh, yeah gotta make up that yeah that two seconds you stop while you're running in the parking lot Yes, I right yeah, I really like into the traffic I really liked when you went to the passenger side of a different car I went that's not the car and you went yep It was the same color, same sedan shape.

No dead grackles this time. No, no. Unfortunately. Just two alive ones. Well, just a glove. And a glove. A suspicious looking glove that we thought was a dead grackle, but we forgot to look under it.

Yeah, true. Because it could have been covering a dead grackle. Yeah. A grackle. Gracks. It's tough. But that's the robbery IHOP. And Noah got robbed.

He was very crowded. Yeah, it was pretty busy, yeah. I got robbed of a good breakfast. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, how much did it cost? With tip? Couldn't have been much, right? With tip?

How much do you think? How much do you think it was? 150. Get the fuck out of here. At IHOP? That just seems like it is, How much do you think it was? Get the fuck out of here at I hop That just seems like it is that's like that's like someone who thinks milk is $12 my god 150 With tip with tax and tip $65 okay. Oh, I have to guess I just wanted a number so I can say we got robbed. Oh.

That much. Hey, you're going to. Okay. 85. Okay. With tax and tip, after everything, it was 114. That is insane. We got robbed.

It's not that level, that is insane. We did, hey guys, we did get robbed. What the hell cost 20? We got one shake. We got three things a French toast. We got three individual like meals and one cup of coffee Yep, that's all 1212 that how does it get to 115? Well that you think about it with tax 30 well it tax well Here's the thing with tax and everything it's about 15 bucks a plate for each of the French put with the eats of each of the and then he tipped $80

Yeah, and he was like this one was my favorite was that is it was just up without tip It was like 94 that was not crazy a lot of food and it wasn't good. No, it was I hop I got the breakfast cuz it's like I get to the French toast, but I went I wantOP. I'm talking about the breakfast. I got the breakfast because it's like, I'll get to the French toast. But I went, I want an actual, I want food. I can't eat sugar French toast and just be the only thing I've eaten today. I will fly into a rage.

So I'm gonna get an omelet. And even you were like, I was looking at like this sandwich or something. But you're like, every time I don't get like just breakfast, I regret it. It's disappointing. It's all terrible. I'll play it safe, I got the omelet. I'm like, every time I don't get like just breakfasts, I regret it. It's disappointing. It's all terrible. I'll play it safe, I got the omelet.

I'm like, this sucks. And I'm not saying like, I expect it to be amazing. It was not adequate. I also think- I'm like, your goddamn eye hop and it was a goddamn omelet. That eye hop- Was it not fine? That eye hop also just kind of sucks.

It's the worst one. That's again, when he's like- It sucks that it's so close. I had hash browns! It's like, oh dude, this sucks. This of sucks. It's so it's the worst one that that's again here when he's like sucks that it's so I had ass Browns. It's like off dude, this is all socks. If I were if I were the waitress, I would have taken the toast, come back, put the toast down and been like that's crazy expensive. Just don't even yeah for four people. But but it I mean we don't usually a bunch of plates. We don't usually spend that much money at this type of restaurant.

No. That blows me away. I mean, it was the four things that we were gonna eat and then like the stuff that you guys wanted. So like, it's not like it was a ton. What you're saying is right. It wasn't like an insane amount of food. When we got those French toast for the table.

Three meals, you didn't get one. And three French toast. If you had eaten When we got those French toast for the table. Three meals, you didn't get one. And three French toast. If you had eaten like more of the French toast, they would probably mostly be gone. They were like, we did okay work on them. Plus the stuff you guys got. So it wasn't like a ton of food, but it was $114. That's insane.

Yeah. Thanks for supporting us on Patreon. I don't like, yeah, for real. It's just an insane level of like, I'll be honest. Usually you say how much it is. I don't like... Yeah, for real. It's just an insane level of like, I'll be honest, usually you say how much it is and I don't care. Yes, yeah, like it doesn't matter. You just gotta watch what it is. Or like, oh that makes sense. Like, PFC.

Yeah, that was a big meal. A big meal. And it was five people. It's a place where you go, that's how much we're gonna spend. But I don't remember, it was under 200, right? Yeah, it was like right around it, yeah. That's insane! We all got drinks, we I don't remember it was under 200 right? I was like right around it Yeah, that's insane for the we all got great Was good whatever like that like you could argue like oh, it's a little private But it's in the range of like yeah, that makes sense and there was five of us

$114 for that fucking slop is insane. I'm sorry. That's just that is robbery. We were robbed Yes, that that blows me away away and what sucks is that we got robbed after we eat the food we are on to the I wish they told us how much it was gonna be so he could have just gotten it over with fucking did what I know but he's everybody do it everybody's also doing it like someone's gonna have a pie like your plate is down here. I like so you going like this doesn't even make sense There it goes Right there's that way

Like he's embarrassed even what he was imitating this way, he was going like this! And then he went down and started bobbing! No way! I went, oh, there you go. I'm sorry. That was an accident. That's, this guy needs help. Oh my god. Let's get to the-

When he was sitting down, I went, You need more Ritalin or less Ritalin. And he went, oh, I never tried that. I'm like, it you need more Ritalin or less Anyway, I never tried it like you should check it out grab grab one. Give me a shot Depends normalizer is what I don't care. I don't give a fuck what direction it is Just the opposite of where you are now What's wrong? I'm a content provider.

You're not a content stealer. Yeah, when you put your face all the way in and bob it like that, you're providing content. That didn't make the video. Oh, that has to make the video. We just spent a bunch of time talking about it. His camera's been on the whole time. Not in the final. This episode is sponsored by Better Help Therapy Online for 10% off your first month.

Go to betterhelp.com slash one zero zero P-E-R-C-E-N-T. Boys, it's the last ad of the year. What's your favorite part of the holidays? What moments make you happy? What are the things that you enjoy the year? What's your favorite part of the holidays? What moments make you happy? What are the things that you enjoy the most? Is it meeting up with friends and family? Is it snuggling up by the fire and your favorite Snoopy blanket? Those are some of my favorite things. Well, therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away.

Even when the seasons change, everyone can benefit from therapy, just talking out your problems, everything that you have inside, getting it out, not letting it bottle up, I think can help everyone. And it's helpful to learn positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. And it isn't just for those who have something major going on in their lives about everyday coping skills and if you're thinking about starting therapy, give better help a try. It's online, it's convenient, it's flexible, it's all built around you. You fill out a questionnaire, you get matched with a licensed therapist, you switch therapists at any times. It's stuff that you've heard before, it's stuff that you know and because it's stuff that works and you can find comfort this December or the rest of your year with BetterHelp, visit BetterHelp.com slash 100% today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash 1-0-0-P-E-R-C-E-N-T. Spilling that last part out because that's the most

important part so that way they know we sent you. BetterHelp.com slash 100% now. Thanks BetterHelp. Hamburglar, why are you calling? Rubble, rubble. McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch made with two 100% Canadian beef patties, a new delicious sauce, and all the McDonald's flavors you love and... Wait, you want me to help you get it? Rubble. Come on.

Compared to beef burgers on McDonald's current menu at participating restaurants in Canada Jordan did you want to move on? Yeah, let's go. Let's go to the IHOP lies. Okay. What do you mean? These are facts? All right, I think they're lies and they were written yesterday. Wow. Yep. That's Early, I kind of believe that's a fucking lie written yesterday. Wow. Yep. That's early. I kind of believe that's a fucking lie. Yeah. My my cousin's in town so I had to do it. We were hanging out this morning so I had to do it last night. Let me tell you I'm glad this is the first fact. Yeah. And it tracks. Our last episode is face sham with March 26th, 2024 where we ate the Girl Scout thin man pancakes. I remember that. Received an average rating of 29. Uh-huh.

They were like. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised. Oh, interesting. I wonder what the highest scoring I have ever seen. I don't remember, but this one was definitely, I think it was the lowest, which is crazy. The one we did on last call does not count, does not count.

No, no, no, that was Adam's Family Menu. That was me furious they wouldn't let us make this show. Right. I was like, fuck this. That was me furious they wouldn't let us make this show. Right. I wasn't kidding. Fuck this. We're doing another episode of, I was even called Face Jam, Michael Jordan podcast. We're just doing it on the Off Topic Po show

because God damn it, I want to record it. Yep. And we just had all the plastic utensils and we're just eating it. Do you remember what we ate at IHOP before this one? Cause I forgot the eighth thing. Yeah, the Wonka menu. The Wonka menu is this one, cause I forgot that we ate the thing. The Wonka menu.

The Wonka menu is the one that I remember. That was the hot waiter. That was the hot waiter. Yup, Ben. Yeah, Ben. I only know cause Gracie says it every fucking time. Yeah, she loves it. She doesn't just say Ben, she goes, Ben.

Hot Ben. She doesn't say Hot Ben. Yup, she doesn't say Hot Ben. Do you think he's still there? No. Fuck no. Wonder how he's doing. Is he thinking of me?

Next fact, in November of this year, which just passed. Last month. Dine Brands, which co-owns IHOP, announced that the first ever combination IHOP and Applebee's will open in, I think it's a pronounce, Seguin? Seguin. Oh, it's Seguin? I'll go for it.

Seguin, Texas, early next year. Unfortunately for Dine Brands, It's a gene. I'll go for it in Texas early next year unfortunately for dying brands and I hopple bees already exists outside in Detroit What kind of erasure is being committed here? Why won't you recognize the Detroit location dying brands? Something not seem all white. I mean all right with that location Shaking my damn head George trying to duck under that I was just like what something not seem all white. Uh-huh. All right Okay, they have been

Promoting this the first ever the first ever combination. I hop an Applebee's One already exists one already exists and they will not recognize it. Hey, what's up with this typo? Nevermind. I found out. That's when you started ducking. I found out I had to research and look why they don't recognize it. Is it not part of the dying brands? It is a franchisee who owns both an IHOP and an Applebee's, put them next door to each other, connected and they share a kitchen. So they created the IHOPLEBEE's and then Dine Brands went,

we have a great idea. We're going to invent the IHOPLEBEE's and it'll be open in, what's the whitest part? Fucking Texas. Segueen. South, is it south of San Antonio? I think so, yeah. It's just outside of San Antonio, so we have to go. Yeah, but it's not really the same

because it's probably only one building, right? Yes, yep. So that's totally different. You don't get to walk across one restaurant to another one without going inside. You can't be ordering, at that one, you can't be ordering Applebee's at IHOP. It's just next door, right?

Sad. I don't know. We gotta find out. No, I think you can order both. I think we should. I think you wrote the goddamn fact. I'm asking you. Yeah, and I gave you the facts.

I think we should go to both. Hey, we should find out. See how this goes? Almost have a bug, he's on the way back. I Don't Michael Michael didn't look at Nick. He looked at the camera. I thought you meant the big Buckees Fuck the big Buckees The regular Buckees not the big Buckees. Don't be a big Buckees sellout

Classic old-school Buckee patron you son of a bitch regular big Buckees not fucking fucking city slicker. How dare you? of a bitch regular big Buckees not fucking fucking city slicker how dare you think you're better than country dog don't frequent Seguin Texas do you buck oh that was him that just so you know Jordan's kitchen straight in August of last year like I got out of here dude I'm telling you, IHOP bade Natchez, Mississippi, the self-proclaimed biscuit capital of the world to IHOP, Mississippi. Don't worry about it. Yeah, IHOP, Mississippi. He wrote it yesterday.

In order to promote their new biscuit menu, in November of this year, an IHOP president was shot to death at a gas station when he knocked over another customer's cup of ice So hop to your local IHOP to get their new bisque. Oh, they discontinued them. Well fuck They renamed Natchez, Mississippi to IHOP Mississippi and then a guy a guy got blasted for knocking over a cup of ice in IHOP Mississippi But they discontinued the biscuit? Yep, but it's still called IHOP Mississippi. Is it unrelated or? Well, that was the reason that they wanted to rename it because it's like oh, we're doing biscuits

Yeah, and then now they don't do the bit like the crazy limited time biscuits menu. But does it have to do with the guy getting shot to death? They said better kill the biscuit. It happened in IHOP Mississippi, you know? He's not answering the fucking question. He really isn't. These are the facts. These are the lies. In 2004, Jane Manning, a member of the holding group that owns IHOP,

but I thought they were co-own, so I'm confused, invented the IHOP funnel cake. Great work, Jane. He fucking loves it Oh before 2004 who knows what those things at the fair were fry snakes we call them Hey, you know what in 2019 Michael invented monkeys whatever before that they were just tree dogs great work inventors Real Thomas Edison level of ingenuity here.

I do like rice snakes. That's pretty funny. I do like the insane read of this woman invented funnel cakes. Funnel cakes! He went, whoa! Yeah, like he loved it. He thought it was great. Let's go, James!

He thought it was great Nope he thought that's so cool. She invented funnel cakes what I don't understand how you work for I mean, I guess I understand how you work for like a holdings group and you go I invented the funnel cake the I hop know the I hop on different which is It's it's no problem. It's probably like a funnel cake, but it fucking sucks They use they use their pancake batter to save money. Yeah, I bet they fucking do I bet it Yeah, exactly it fucking sucks, but she invented it. Don't worry about it We'll get to it. I'm trying to figure what the fuck it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, we'll get to it I think I know what it is. Yeah, huh? All right

Yeah, no, we'll get to it. I think I know what it is. Yeah. All right. All right. We'll fucking get to it. I was looking to see what it is. You don't know what's going on. It keeps going. Huh? Hey, can you fill me in? Yeah. Yeah. To a previously discussed lawsuit, a man who was forced to work Sundays the day he requested off duty to his religion has won a $40,000 payout. The manager stated the employee thinks it is more important to go to church than to pay his bills and quote, religion should not take precedence over the employee's job. We agree, but as pastafarians, we will not be attending work on Friday, December 13th because it's Monkey Appreciation Day.

Oooh, didn't Michael Inventos call back? Is it a slam dunk? It's a guy dunking a vest. It's a slam dunk. Yeah. Well, it's a guy prepping to a slam dunk. I think it's the handball one, but it looks like a guy dunking. I was trying to figure out, is it a man? It's always the one that looks like a guy dunking. Well, it's a guy dunking, but it looks like a guy dunking. I was trying to figure out, is it a man?

It's the one that looks like a guy dunking. Well, it's a guy dunking, but he's stood on the ground still. And he really does look like a- And I was trying to confirm, is that what it is before I say it? And Nick just kept going, what? What is it? What is it? What are you talking about?

Where is it? Who is that? What's going on? What's happening? Are we scared? Is everyone scared? Tell me what to feel. I'm like, just let me fucking look at it.

You're getting robbed? Yeah, what's going on? What should we feel right now? Put your hands up close your eyes and start chomping Those are all the facts We should start our own Monkey religion you think so yeah, we can center it around our deity but we already found out that his new catchphrase is I'll kill you yeah yeah that's that's Genesis one you better come to church I'll kill you call it church yeah that's like the jungle or the tree house or something I don't know are you

going to the grove on Sunday yeah monkey Yeah, I'm gonna go pray to the monkey. See? You know, I'm just gonna drop off all fours and just kinda Take the sacrament. It's it's some sauce. What do you call what a monkey does? Is there like it like is there like a monkey move? Just kind of hops around swinging Swinging from tree to tree. I think the monkey move is putting their life up in here no it's putting your head down when you're down and going to any style on someone's going Donnie style on someone the offering plate yeah oh my god it's him walking around with a fucking plate with a hole in it

I rarely say this you're listening to this one you're missing out. It's true There's a visual heavy one. He's just next in the corner this whole time. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, well get out of here. Oh my God. A plate walking around the plate with a hole in it is so funny. That's so fucking funny. I'll kill you! We suggest you don't! Oh my god! Oh what an episode! This is fucking crazy! It shouldn't be this crazy! His best kiss!

This is all based on his throwing his sprite around now. It really shouldn't be this crazy. The level of just upset, I feel. Nothing that insane happened. It's the middle of the god. I'm excited it was early. Michael, I was so excited it was early. We went to IHOP like it sucks, but we've been there.

Nothing crazy. This guy was just freaking out. Michael, we got there. We sat down and Michael went, I'm hanging on by a thread. Yeah. I'm so tired. I'm just tired. I drank a lot yesterday.

And but like, dude, it was that voodoo tea. Yeah. And I'm like, I'm not hungover. I'm just like, tired. I was just like, I need water. Yeah, I just need water. Before we started, I looked in the fridge, I was going, ugh.

And I was like, if I drank a soda or a Skittles, I'll die. And it sounds like I mean candy. No, that's the drinks in the refrigerator. It's soda or Skittles. Check it out on Michael Jordan podcast. Soda or Skittles. And I went, ugh, I guess we'll use the broken water machine that's running out of water.

It's almost out. It's almost out. That's me going, I'm on the edge. Yep. So him going like,ACKA DOO! The second we leave I was just like what is this guy doing? Screaming Wacka Doo. He really was.

WACKA DOO! He knows about the Wacka Doo doesn't? Hell yeah. Oh no. Now that's a call back. Painball. What's going on? What? What? What? We talked about this not too long ago. I'm so glad that we can still do this show.

I don't do another thing that's like this. I gotta be honest. This is fucking crazy. This isn't like pandering, I could not care less. It's better than ever. It's so, it's so fun. It's better than ever. We have our own goddamn office. As much as we had like luxuries

and like the space we had was nice, it was like one, we had to constantly like, rent, not rent, but like schedule it. Schedule it out. Sometimes we'd come in, sometimes whatever. Gotta work for everyone. And then again. Pasta Pete would be there sometimes. It's not a thing I ever cared about like scheduling. Yeah, scheduling out. Sometimes we come in, sometimes we come in, whatever. Gotta work for everyone. And then again-

Pasta Pete would be there sometimes. It's not a thing I ever cared about because it was a like shared space that there's a million shows. The thought never crossed the mind of like, whoosh, you good, soop or whatever. But like, oh, we can just have a shitty old bookshelf that's sitting on some fucking fan boxes?

What even are those? Oh, they're the boxes for, no, no, they're the boxes for the microphones. The microphone boxes. Sorry. This thing behind us is sitting on top of the four boxes that he's caming. Just empty cardboard boxes. It's just, fuck it. We need to raise it, throw it under. That's fine. This shit is awesome. I love this. Oh, it's the best.

This place is tiny as fuck and it's fine because it's cheap and we don't need shit No, you could say like oh, it's a small space. It's bigger than the zero space We have never had and no one else is here this I don't give a fuck if you're like, I don't know Gracie's gone too fucking bad Okay, she shows up sometimes that shop sometimes and then it's all we talk about for the next three episodes. I will say here's the thing. It was a big loss. Gracie being on every episode was awesome.

But it is very clear now, Gracie cannot be on the show in the way she is on this show. Because I just, I wouldn't have it. I know you wouldn't have it. It's fine because it's not every time. She had something to do Uh, right. She was like assistant producer. Yeah Here she's just a host she's hanging out and and it's insane Can you imagine if that was every episode I would I would just

She couldn't have I would I would write I would write like we would have like a we would have like a voting system I'm sorry. You gotta go. I'm sorry. We love you. You gotta you gotta go, dude I would slowly but surely like move my chair over every episode until I'm We got here and gave Jordan the kicking distance We touched knees a little Anyway, you don't have to move and I went no that's fine and then I think he said I'm kicking. And I said no he I graciously give him knee distance something he deserves unlike a filthy fucking liar like you. Something to that effect. You keep your feet to yourself. But I'm just saying, if you think the show is as good, or like,

it was better, you're wrong. But, us being in this space, I love this 10,000 times more. Oh, it's the best. This show is so much fun, and it's so much easier, and it's like, I never felt like there was stuff we couldn't do, but it was like, there was shit we wouldn't bother thinking about, because we're still like, oh, it's gotta get like, upload, it's just a hassle to go through channels.

It's like, again, we ran this early on, but we had the show on the goddamn off topic podcast. They wouldn't let us make it. It took what, like three months in between? Yeah, and then we made it and they went, oh, you started making it? So what is this? And we're like, it's the show we told you to sell.

And they went, oh, and it's episode eight. It's just like so freeing to do whatever we want. Not again, not that we couldn't, but like we knew everyone and not asking anyone, or telling anyone, or run anything, or do anything. To come here and do it and have a setup. I can just go off and buy a TV stand and a TV. It's $300 and Eric goes, okay, I think I'm okay with that.

Yep. And then, and then. Could you find a used one? We watch Madame Webb. Yes! And the chat going crazy to watch it with us and the memes that came out of it and everything, we'd have that before.

It fucking rules. Yeah. I love this more than ever. Yeah. I remember we were talking like when, you know, it was like, oh, we're still shutting down and you you guys had talked before you talked to me and you're like just quick survey yeah bother like do we want to keep doing it I was like yeah yeah that is exactly how you said I know I would I'm in and now like cool I guess

we'll go through the effort Right, I mean show rules it it's built so much in just like the six months or whatever that we've had it Where we were recording in the back of other spaces and just trying to like hopscotch But that was the only shitty part, oh, yeah I was like everything is awesome and it's great except I hate not knowing what the fuck we're going every week, and it's like hey this place is 20 minutes This is 35 minutes. Yeah, hey, it was fun. We're going to someone's basement today. It was fun when we were in the All-elite wrestling place. Oh, yeah Yeah, and then summer happened. Oh man, then it was fucking hell. It was me laying against the wall Yep, just disintegrating it was it was a really. And it was me laying against the wall. Yup. Just disintegrating.

It was a really great spot until you walk in, you go, man, it's 110 outside. You walk in, you go, it's 104 in here. Yeah. Yeah. Brutal. There was a day, and they didn't have water. Nope.

And I remembered it was so hot. We didn't have drinks. And we were like fucking dying. And you were like, I'm not supposed to do this, but I'm taking a soda Yeah, you're like, this is an emergency Plan is shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm doing it Yep

We're still in the darkest days, but it was still fine look at us look at look at how bright it is now This is great. Love this space and it's been It is very well lit. Yeah, right. We have this beautiful TV stand you can't see. Yeah, it's pretty It's way nicer than the thing behind it. Oh my god I mean, it's a TV stand but like this is really nice and this is fucking music shit Yeah, really. It's really making me reconsider the way we're doing things around here. No, I love it. Yeah Sure, I could tell you winter's coming or that it brings cold, dry air, but you already knew that. What you might not know is that Dove Deep Moisture Body Wash is made with millions of

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Shop now at Sephora and Sephora at Kohl's. Hey, Jordan. I kind of want to learn about the food. Okay. Is this where we learn how it ties into the game? Fuck no, go ahead. All right, cool. Fully loaded French toast, the great circle of cinnamon. Okay. What the fuck?

This treasure trove is layered with rich cinnamon spread and drizzled with a sweet cream cheese icing that will make you feel like you've uncovered an ancient culinary secret. Are you fucking shitting me? That is how I felt I was like I'm just like Indiana Jones Well, Michael was like that too, but he was punching people hitting him in the face of lips It was I hope was interesting. He was fine. They're fascist. Yeah. Wow. That's cool. Nick was putting his hands up mobbing his head

He was having a good time secret Fascist let me out yeah laughter I'll confuse the hell out of them laughter They're never gonna see this coming The secret cookie butter

Cookie butter! Creamy cookie butter and vanilla sauces topped with a dusting of cookie crumbles reminiscent of long lostlost treasures found in fire Flying fuck are you talking? Do you think do you think the next one? The next one will be like Don't look at it directly

There's more buried treasure Buried treasure treasure oh my god gemstones of juicy glazed blackberries raspberries and blueberries and a drizzle of rich cream cheese icing you can't help but want to take a Bite of this buried treasure they didn't even do anything fun. Yeah, you just said the name again They just said it again, so these are all tied into the Indiana Jones game again don't know how or why but are oh was this bottom one the one? That you said I'll give a shit about this. Yep. Okay. I do About it until this I'm like it's on the sheet Just checking if there's actual food he's like no this is Shit about I don't care about this like we are not getting this one. Don't worry about it

Yeah, I'll read it. Yeah, because they've been they've been winners. It's the longest. Sure. It's stupid Explorers caramel apples butter hot chocolate No, it's caramel apple butter hot chocolate Rich hot cocoa infused with the flavors of caramel and apple butter creating a cozy drink that will make you feel like you're though You're by the campfire after Dave thrilling adventure that doesn't even track at all. No there's that scene where he's like oh man I'm so tired of fighting these Nazis better get some hot cocoa sit by the can you know classic Indiana Jones. Why did it have to be the other one sock but this one doesn't make sense. Don't worry. There's one more

No, that one was written by someone who's never seen Indiana Jones. Okay, how about this one? The long-lost cookie butter milkshake. You thought it was the secret cookie butter. No, this one's the long lost cookie butter This cold and creamy milkshake is the perfect blend of cookie butter cookie pieces and rich vanilla ice cream That feels like you've uncovered a forgotten treasure Is that like when you take a bite of this buried treasure and it's reminiscent Motherfucker long lost treasure Well, I'll be honest I like a fucking fool that all went over my head when they put French toast on the table, uh-huh That it none of did how could I not see it I missed

all the clues all the clues were there I just like Indiana Jones I know I'm ashamed of my namesake oh Indiana we call New Jersey Jones we call the dog New Jersey Yeah Boss monkey Jones Hey go for it We gotta get out of this one. I've got an idea I'm good. No, hey hey hey store around. Yeah, you know I'm good Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Monkey! We are going to die! Oh my god. Well we have our review of IHOP What the fuck is happening?

But we need to hear from you in a segment we call You Review Just if I wasn't clear earlier It's 2pm It's 2 o'clock in the fucking morning We're feeling crazy This is gonna take us away I feel like if we'd someone comes to take us away. We push him out first

I'm sorry you want the first one or me I'll take okay go for it Go ahead sir Edgar V While there was many seat available, they didn't let us sit because they felt they weren't ready. Piss me off. That's why I laughed. I just saw, I just saw, there's a bunch of spaces too. There's a work-rate period and then like two or three spaces.

Piss me off. He just wanted to sit. And that's a one-star review. Did that's the whole review what was the rest of it fine More needs to be said did you not hear what Edgar V had to say hey piss me off piss me off Dare you Okay, this is a Sabrina carpenter Sabrina C says Five star for the southern friendliness zero stars for the southern turtle slow service It took 40 minutes to get our food

Minus one star for my food being cold minus three But I wish I could give a minus five, but I can't give less than one star We can, wait, you can't give a minus three anyway Yeah, or what is the minus subtracting from five, but whatever dipshit? I thought we were doing math Minus three for the questionable knockoff government cheese that tastes like plastic Consider asking to be paid for being their taste testing guinea pig of this suspect yellowish item I feel the remnants of that Whoa one star Sabrina's tea is Sabrina carpenters fucking crazy dude the end of this review is the best thing we've ever read.

Yeah, that's what happens. She's going to get his back wings. Also, I paused because I looked at that when I glanced at the bottom one and I just went, oh, man, like Jordan can take that one. But I just really like that. It starts with brah brah. But here's the thing. She is talking about

the cheese was your biggest problem? The fucking cheese? And it was slow. But that was only minus one star. But the cheese is giving her bat wings and a third nipple, so I feel like I'm just focusing on that. It's gonna keep her up all night. Unless the 40-minute wait is also contributing to that somehow.

Also, if you're looking at her review system, five star for the Southern friendliness. Okay, five. Zero stars for the Southern turtle slow service. So we're still at five. So she doesn't seem to care about, right. She's creating her own, right. Her, her own rubric. And that is like, but I can't do negative minus one star. All right. So we're at four and then minus three stars. Okay. We're at one, but she wishes it could be minus one minus five stars, right? Which would take us I see so she wanted to go she would be minus one star. Mm-hmm

So kind of made sense if you were keeping track as you were reading it the cheese mutated her math brain I'm just well, I'm also saying like you gave zero stars, but not negative for slow service. Yeah, she didn't seem to care about that. Turtles, notoriously slow moving. And you were not an animal expert. Potentially the enemy of bats. So with her new bat wings. Negative one for food being cold.

That seems like a huge deal. Like if I were freaking out, I'd give more than a negative one for that, okay? You got slow service, zero, which is good than a negative one man. Okay, you got slow service zero, which is good Yeah, and negative one for being called minus three for the cheese Question cheese I'm growing bad Damn dude did not like this cheese. I think there are people out there who would pay to get the bat wings and the titties Yeah, damn total recall style. Yeah. Oh

My god, there's a creature in this guy. What is she? Is that a third? Wait a second? Let's go. I have so many questions. I went to I hopped that's that me espresso. I wish I had three hands, okay I didn't I genuinely didn't hear him and I wanted to he's doing monkey juice. Yeah But I feel like with all the other stuff He's been doing offered shit where he's going like right with all the other stuff he's been doing It's like some LeBron Fawford shit where he's going like Right, with all the other stuff he's been doing this episode, I don't want him to want three hands I'm sorry, go ahead finish your thing you thought What were you talking about?

I don't know what he's gonna do with those three hands Do exactly what he's gonna do That's why he said it Exactly I got to get food Dude, I'll be honest, but that was a good tie in with Beetlejuice. I'm impressed with that one. I'll vape for you.

Thank you. Yeah! And you got the great circle on that thing? That's crazy. Yeah, I got the great circle. I'm vaping. He's grabbing. He's whipping. Jordan, curse off the usher. He's monkey juice.

That's a wrap. Drop the curtain. Oh my god. One more review one more review still talking about this Political now talking about your own three hands and three nipples and bat wings classic political I was groping over the clothes. It's not a big deal Will it also fuck you it never happened. Yeah, I apologize. I'm sorry balls, but I'm out of here William I Bruh It's really quite astounding

This might single-handedly be the most dysfunctional and poorly operated I hop in the country Why did you say it like that because he did I dash hop? I've ordered from this place three times for delivery in every single time. The order has been completely wrong, but this one takes the cake two hours for the order to actually arrive. The milkshake I ordered was the wrong flavor and completely melted. They completely forgot the pancakes in my pancake combo. The buttered toast I ordered was not only without butter, it wasn't toasted. Literally two slices of untoasted white bread. LMAO. Seriously? I don't want the workers.

I don't want. I don't want the workers are on here, but get me some because apparently it gives you zero bucks about the food you serve. Honestly, shocked corporate hasn't come in and shut this one down. I'm going to be honest. I believe this one fully. Oh, a hundred percent. I believe everything. Yes. It's so insane and accurate. I'll be honest. Our service was fine. Everything was good. Everything was fine. It didn't take forever except when we were ready to order and she went, got it. I'll start this and leave. Yep. And then came back and took her order. That was weird. And she was super excited about all the food at the place that she works at. Yes. But the service was good. The food just sucked ass.

Yes. The food just sucks. It was very expensive. And it sucked. Crazy expensive. Yeah. That's crazy. $114.

But that's what you had to say. Now it's time. Who's ordering a fucking IHOP delivery? Just get something else. Isn't that insane? I can see settling because that's where you are. Yeah. If you're already paying for for delivery get anything else do anywhere order from another diner or cafe or something Yeah, the love of God crazy and the reason corporate hasn't shut it down is cuz they haven't tried to combine with an I an Applebee's yet

No, yeah, give it time recent corporate hasn't shut it down. It's fucking suckers like us are walking Fuck what they're doing. This place rules! Dude, there were so many people inside that restaurant taking phone calls out loud. There were, dude. Calling the fuck on! It went on forever, dude! So long on speakerphone. Just on speakerphone and the phone on the table and two people just crowded around it going like, what?

Put the fucking phone in your ear! Crazy. Crazy. Fucking crazy. But, that's all your reviews now. It's time for our review This is the review of I hop loaded French toast technically is what this all is the cookie butter shake was pretty good that okay? Look at me honest. It tastes it was good. It tastes like The shape the shape oh no From Indiana Jones. The shake, the shake! Oh no. I'm sorry, I'm gonna eat it. Om nom nom.

Crazy. And then the the French toast with the cookie butter on it tasted just like the shake. Yeah, but it wasn't as good. They're using the same ingredients. It was better as a liquid than French toast. What makes the stuffed French toast so good? Hang on, hang the same ingredients. It was better as a liquid than a french toast. What makes the stuffed french toast so good?

Hang on, hang on. Hang the fuck on. Let's get to this. Should've mixed it. Yeah! Should've mixed it. Oh man, we didn't even talk about that. That was on the way out.

He was going... Everything we've described, shit show. I'm just like, this would be socked, dude. Like again, the omelet, which I couldn't believe, was as bad as it was. Nothing was, it was like, I can't believe it, it's just eggs. We're leaving and he's like, oh my god It was I think you and then he was last is all I know and once again he's trapped up against the wall Yep, and Nick stopped in front of him and he's like we didn't come by the do the milkshake Eric was just like fucking move so I can leave

Get out of my way And he was still talking about when we got outside screaming about Keep saying it He jumped into the middle also also yeah. Also. Yeah, not traffic parking lot You were standing there before the car was there. Absolutely and the car approached it. Yes Yeah, and then we and then I are faster than you not what you're saying And then I saw him and I waved and he went by

Right, that's why I'm sorry. That's everything he's saying actually makes perfect. So why didn't I was why didn't we pour the milkshake on? the french toast like fucking morons? I mean honestly, I'm not even upset that we do it Why you bring him up now when we're leaving everyone standing up been sitting there. We didn't forget We don't have the idea Idea never entered our mind. It's just it's just a kid leaving his store that he's been fucking around in for 40 minutes doing everything He wanted and goes No, mommy no and Eric going I will kill you get out of my way let me out

Me out of the out of the tiny I hop We were in the corner damn, okay We were in the corner damn, okay The cinnamon one was also Pretty good. The thing that makes these good is the icing on it. Yeah without it. It's just sugary french toast Yeah with it. It's sugary french toast with sugary icing. Yeah Yeah Man, I thought the berry one was too much berry though too sweet that one. I like the least It's this classic I hop thing though where it's just sweet food

Yeah, I don't know what it has to do with Indiana Jones. I still don't know you read it, dude You know exactly what it has to do with it. Don't play dumb You've covered an ancient culinary secret exactly what the time they can't we all missed it after a thrilling adventure yeah dude you know Indiana Jones style maybe we would have got the whole picture if we got the hot chocolate that must have been the problem that was wrong map wasn't there that wasn't there when you drink the hot chocolate it's revealed Align all the food

Yeah, it reveals the secret for the fucking milkshake on the pancake Just comes through it's all lined up. It's just a picture of a dead grackle. We're already here X marks the spot this wasn't as bad as the mint pancakes or whatever um but whatever I don't know 55 who cares that's generous that's insanely high I'll be honest and and I will say mostly all my fans at this omelet. Uh-huh It was so bad. You like that terrible the food I got was bad I was worse terrible worse than the French toast by a while a mile That and now but what Jordan saying I think is probably right. This is for the Indiana Jones food. Yeah, and not your Your garbage while away garbage brown omelet.

But what the fuck? What happened? It's the principle of this thing. I just wanted an okay omelet and it was gray. Like him. It was like, god damn dude. It was great. The shake was good.

I completely disagree in a shocking twist because it's fucking icing icing icing. I like the Perry's the best because I'd rather fruit. It was still like a ton of like fruit syrup or whatever. It was sweet in a different way. But it wasn't like icing sweet like cake. So I like I stomach that the best And it made it like the most moistest. I liked it being a little it was the wettest it was the way But they were good. I'm would never go and eat that though because it's just like it's dessert

I'm not going to an IHOP. I'm just saying I mean I'm not going you know what I'll get give me fucking cake I just straight up cake like a pancake is already cake. Yeah, you put syrup on it. It's like no fuck that We're putting realizing on this right Indiana Jones style Just just cover it and it's $400. That's how he likes it. Which is insane He do like cake I didn't like it as much as you it the shake was good The the French toast was fine. If you like French toast and you like sweets,

you'll probably like it, but it's fucking IHOP. It was better than my goddamn omelet, which is insane. What do you rate the omelet? Dude, the omelet would be like a fucking 13. I'm telling you. I just couldn't believe it. You're fucking IHOP. It's just eggs, man.

This... How'd you mess it up so bad? The Indiana Jones whatever. 49.5. So just right around 50. Yeah. It's like... You know what? Middle of the road is fine for this. Yeah, and I think what you're saying is right. If you like sweets and you like French toast, I don't think there's anything about those things that you wouldn't like.

Right. I mean, I also like those things, but I would not order them. Well, it's also like you like those things and you're not like, it's good. You gotta go. Which you have been about things that are better. Yes. You know, like-

Everyone, go check it out. I occasionally, on some episode we did at some restaurant, I'm sure. It was a place and we were there. Where was it? I don't know where Care, but there was a cake thing. I went, wow, even I'm eating this. I was one of the sit downs.

We went to this place. I was like, wow, this is actually really good. It's not that. No. But it's like, it's IHOP. It's acceptable for IHOP. It's the level of, I wish my goddamn omelet was a 50. Yeah.

I wish my omelet was a 44 and kill for a 44. Right, that's all you wanted. Yeah. Really his attitude and then omelet really pissed me off today. Okay, you fucking know what? Well, that's our review of this Go check it out. Let us know what you think I mean by like leaving a comment because that's engagement and that works for us

You can also know what you think about his goddamn behavior Like to know if you think this is normal Nick, I'm always like, oh, yeah It's early. Oh my god early. That's it. He said it's early. Okay. It's not it's early like in a nice normal early It's not like dude. It's 8 a.m. It was it's fucking 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It's early because you let us record before 4 Okay, I'm with him. I'm with him on that it is this time. It is this time and we're starting to hold a grudge Well if you want to support us directly you can at patreon.com slash 100% eat where you check out the Michael Jordan podcast every Friday You can also gift a sub give a gift. Yeah Giving you get patreon.com

slash 100% eat slash gift hey thank you Amy Amy received a gifted sub no way that's what I'm saying so I get to see you in that I could be your Amy maybe Mike you like Sonic the Hedgehog already pay for it that's why I want a gifted sub though so you just can't you have to cancel it first and then get gifted? I have no idea. I imagine it would just like extend or something. I don't know. I mean what- Hey figure it out. Is it on the- What you're saying is like, can you do a couple steps to rectify this? Nah, I think we're okay with where we're at. Yeah, it seems fine. I feel like if I got gifted a sub and then I cancelled my own membership,

I somehow would just cancel the gifted sub. I think- Then I'd have to sign up again. Yeah, I think it- I'm curious. Yeah, but I think that'd be bad. So I think you just keep it going the way that you're doing it. It's fine. Yeah, I think you should cancel the gifted sub. And then I'd have to sign up again. I'm furious. Yeah, but I think that would be bad. So I think you just keep it going the way that you're doing it. It's fine. Yeah, I think you should keep paying us money. You can go to 100%eat.store for merch. You can follow at 100%eat on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky to stay up to date with everything.

And you can send in stuff to 100%treat or just anything else in general at PO Box 143241 Austin, Texas, 78714 PO Box 143241 Austin, Texas, 78714. But do go to the Patreon and check out the stuff that we, we have some new videos that'll be coming out, Patreon, YouTube, whatever. Our friend Richard edited a bunch of stuff for us. Remember the taco pass? You didn't even see? Holy shit, he did that?

Do I remember the taco pass? He would slap you upside your fucking head? He's working on it right now. That was so much goddamn work. Don't get me wrong, I understand it's a lot of editing. That was so much goddamn work. And also, effort! You had to go to the taco pass.

Alright, that was pretty cool. He did it. That was awesome! I'm up here with him, and I'm down here a little bit. I'll give you that I'm on the same boat I think it's really cool. I was not done with that water You weren't done and also he picked up he put the worst day to do it There's no water yeah The end of the water He's put his head down he gave an excitement this man would have got a standing ovation

Rate subscribe that was a good shot tell your friends. Yeah, great job. Yeah, it's great. You know what have a drink great you know what have a drink yeah it tastes like poor paper quality I get on that good paper alright great subscribe tell a friend we eat the food right food bye bye