100% Eat - Mooyah Hot Bacon Jam Burger

Episode Date: March 28, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review the Mooyah Hot Bacon Jam Burger so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about running over potatoes, Michael's switch, saying Mooyah, celebrating lent, and first impressions of this place.   Sponsored by Factor meals http://factormeals.com/facejam50 and use code facejam50 and Rooster Teeth FIRST http://roosterteeth.com/signup and listen to Face Jam to support us DIRECTLY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you knowing we started a couple seconds before that? It really does bother me that it says it's about 20 seconds, and I know that it's really 22. He just kept pushing the wrong button. I have run over again. Why? I'm surprised that he didn't start playing the Island Time music, which is not for this podcast. No, it's for the other one. Don't worry about that.

It's for different people. We count up here. We don't count down. Now, this might sound like a flub, but it's not. Today, we're reviewing Moo-Yah Hot Bacon Jam Burger. Yep. Did you just say Moo-Yah? Moo-Yah.

So, I'm guessing it's like Boo-Yah, but Moo because of cow. Because burger? Because burger. Wow. Hey, you're just the smartest someone from Plano. Even the Moo I get, I'm like, why Moo-Yah? Right? Like, yeah. Okay, Moo works in the cow. Right. Moo works in the cow. Even the moo I get Yeah Like why moo-yah Right Like Yeah

I think okay Moo works in the cow Right Moo works in the cow But you just wanted to call it Like the joke is like It would have been Boo-yah hot bacon jam burger

But the pun is moo-yah It's like Boo-yah is a bad That's a bad name for a burger place Yeah Boo-yah is a bad name Boo-yah is a good name I don't think it's good

But it's better than moo-yah I think moo-yah in my head I would of an ice cream place than it would be. You've got to be specific because cows get around. It's true. They do a lot. They do. They do have burger. They got their hooves in a lot of pies.

Cow pies. Now, let me ask you. I hope not. Let me ask you. Is this a... Because I just have the name of the sandwich here, the burger. What is the name of the restaurant? Muya.

Just Muya. Not Muya Burger Place. Oh, it's not the Muya Hawk. It's called Muya. And then there, I don't even think tagline, but just the thing that's always with it is burgers, fries, and shakes. Right. That's just telling you what they have.

It was on the sign. Okay. So my restaurant isn't called Muya Burger. If it was called Muya Burger, I would say it's specific, but it's not. Yeah. So you raise a good point of what am I getting here? There's no Sega Genesis. There's no Sega Genesis character named Moo-Yah

to confuse it. The things they list, two out of the three of those come from the cow. What doesn't come from the cow? The fries? No, that can't be right. I'm pretty sure it's the fries. We did see some weird grill marks on those fries. They still probably coat the fries in beef dust.

Yeah. Let's assume it's all from the cow. I'm trying to think if they beef dusted our fries. Let's just say yes. They really would. Well, hang on. They did run over the potato. They ran over our french fries.

But maybe. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They didn't run over your french fries. They ran over your potato. Right. Right. And then that got turned into french fries. The skid marks stay on the potato. Yes, live the previous life yeah like a phoenix it was reborn

but with a mark the fries the fries were floppy which i didn't mind are you just getting right into the no no i want to talk no because i want to talk about these girl marks i'm just letting you talk okay they know i know i'm leaning at you going why is he the the fries were floppy people want to hear the review right at the beginning. Right at the top. Do it twice. The fries were floppy, but they had, I mean, really, what appeared to be tire tracks all over them. You kept saying, why are there grill marks?

Who grilled my fries? And then I think Jordan said, maybe someone ran over the potatoes. And that totally changed my mind because when i look at food like that it was definitely a tire you know you know when you're a kid riding your bike and you do the cool break slide thing and you leave a i just got my electric bike i'm still doing it you're skidding everywhere yeah it's fucking up the bike though oh yeah yeah when you're the one paying for it you realize i really don't there's special times you really realize that this is a dumb idea you shouldn't be doing it but you know those like cool little like fresh oh i love those like touchy things yeah yeah the little all gone

it's like getting a brand new controller and then immediately rubbing off the the it's it's like it's like burning off your fingerprints you're just smooth you know that is one thing you don't appreciate when you're a kid it's just how how good a fresh tire is you know you definitely don't appreciate it or care or care if it has filled with enough air yeah right the number of times he's thinking back as a kid it's like i was riding like a broken bike with a half filled tire. It's like, but I got there again. It's why children are in shape.

There's two fucking stupid. It's just like, ah, whatever. And it's just like, this is actually amazing training right now. I'm moving a bicycle. That's actually hindering me more than it's helping. I'm working against the forces of gravity, but I'm still going, I'm going to ride my bike. I'm not putting air in it. It's really important though, like if

your tire gets a flat and as a kid, it's the only thing that you think about. So all day at school, you're going as soon as I get home, I got to ask dad if he can put air in the tire and then you have to wait for dad to get home and he's so fucking tired. He doesn't want to work the compressor right now. If you have a flat tire, again, talking about

the ye old age though, that's not getting fixed today. Nope. There's no Amazon. Nope. Someone has to go to like a Home Depot. Yes.

So you have to bug dad. You're not going to go to a bike store, but you need to go, can you drive to a place? Already upset. Yeah. The tire cost $3.

Yep. Right. Yep. But like, that's okay let me start my speech let me let me start writing my speech to take me to go get a new right yeah and then also do it for me because i'm a fucking idiot let me practice with my brother first and see like will this will this fly do you think if i turn it this way he'll be cool it really is your your parent has been working all day they get home and they just go okay well i got four hours before we all go to bed and you have to blow the whole fucking night on i think

i guess we'll go do this tire thing eric i think one of the things i've like tried to do most actively as a parent is see that coming and go hey i got this and avoid my kid going fuck how am i gonna explain yeah yeah like i'm trying to remove that from their life. I'll start with, hey, dad, love you. You know that bike? Yeah, I saw it was flat. I replaced it. Oh, cool, bye. I went, you have no idea what I've just done to you. The biggest anxiety in my life

is asking if I can get a ride to Blockbuster because I want to rent a game. I already called Blockbuster and told them to hold for me. Oh, no. no you got a lot right on this you better show up i need to show up i get home and i say hey kid i had a long day at work today turn on your switch there's a new game because i had to play it and your account is linked to mine so you get it for free oh my god oh my god i'm home from a long day's work

here's a free game that i again it's not i can't even say it's spoiling i didn't buy it for you i'm not gonna say you can't play it because can't even say it's spoiling. I didn't buy it for you. It's not free. I'm not going to say you can't play it because it's free. It's just like, fuck, you're getting presents and you shouldn't. Fuck. This is going to come back to bite me somehow. I have to give you less on your birthday because you get perks. This kid's got perks.

You got Dreamlight Valley or whatever the fucking Disney game is, and you shouldn't have got that. It's not your birthday. Well, kid doesn't care. It could be the shittiest game in the world. Dude, get it. It's not your birthday. Kid doesn't care. Yeah. It could be the shittiest game in the world. Dude, yeah. My five-year-old big fan of Metroid Prime. Seriously?

They speed running it yet or what? No, they're playing. I have to help the bosses. Oh, okay. I'm not buying that for them, but they go, hey, I turned my game on. This is a new game.

I go, fuck. At some point, I think I brought this up before, but at some point, I could have seen this coming, but you are my friend on the Nintendo Switch, and for a long time, it would be like, Michael's online. Michael's playing My Little Pony, like the princess game.

You'll also see my name changed maybe to like, it was Mimi recently. I was going to say, then it changed to your kid's name. It was like, this was a long time coming. Like, clearly the account has been converted over to the rightful owner. No, no, no, no. And then it changed back to Michael. Well, we share it because, and then what's funny, Jordan, is I change it back to Michael being the adult 35-year-old man that I am.

Correct. And then I get home and I get grilled. In a brawler struggle against your five-year-old. I get home and I get grilled and I'm going, why is the name changed? Because even though, again, the six-year- account, but they can't use it because they have to buy the games. So it's just like, I have, it's just both me. But it must really bug her every time she goes on and is like, I'm not Michael. It doesn't because she just changes the name every time.

And the only time I ever do is if I'm like working or something. And she's like, why'd you change the name? And I go, because I had to work. And she's like defending myself. And I go, I had to work. And they go, why didn't you put it back? They've been on a kick. They go, I made it Kiki for a reason.

They're big on Kiki's delivery service. And I go, you didn't put Kiki, you wrote Mimi. And then it just seems like it's a play on my name. I can't, I can't be going to work with Mimi. When you said Mimi, I went, why would he change his name to Mimi? Exactly. This was a real conversation I had when I got home from work. Like someone going, what?

I turned my switch on today. Why does it say Michael? I'm sorry, it's mine? I bet it's changed already. Well, I was going to say what you were doing is making these little deposits now so that, you know, deposits that stave off needing therapy later. That's the hope. But let's be realistic.

It's just going somewhere else. Yeah, it's true. It's just some other thing. Well, apparently it's going into your Switch game. You made me play too many video games. Why did you make me do this? Dad, you made me a gamer. Just once I wanted to struggle.

I wanted to know what it felt like to ask you to fill my tire with air She likes to call, you know, Splatoon Splatoon But they benefit for Splatoon 2 It's called Splatoon Even though it's just called Splatoon and Splatoon 2 She insists on calling Splatoon 3 Splatreen

That's awesome Because it's like, well, it's Splatoon And I go, right, but the first one's like that too yeah but it's it's splethrine it's splethrine it's right no i think uh thanks dad yep your kids getting your kids getting free now oh internet's working bye bye bye bye i don't need to talk to you anymore your kids getting pretty pumped for the resident evil 4 remake or what not yet getting pretty pumped for mario yeah tell you that. Mario movie. Oh, Mario movie. Mario movie and then...

Tears of the Kingdom? Yeah. Open world movie. So we ate this burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What were your moopinions on Moo-ya Burger? Isn't that the end?

He did write that. No, it says moopinions. Well, past experience... What the fuck does moopinions mean? Moopinions! Isn't that the show? Where we have our Moo-pinions on the food?

Past experience with the restaurant and Moo-pinions. I never heard of it. Even Nick never heard of it. Let me tell you about my past experience with this restaurant. I'd never heard of it. Neither had Nick. However, he did the research and spoiled it.

Needlessly so. Needlessly so. Needlessly so. And spoiled it. Some of us need to do a little research. So. Like how to get there. They not. Or what is this restaurant about?

There's someone who needs to do the research and sometimes does. Right. Does just enough to skate by. And sometimes he doesn't. No. And then he just pretends like he did. But we see. How many of these facts are real facts?

I don't know. They're all facts. Again, I don't know where the line is, but we know when we crossed it. Yep, yep, yep. It's very clear. We're clearly over here and not over there. And then you have the research for driving. We just have to show up.

Yeah, okay. What about Nick? And you love it. Oh, that was the we. Oh, okay. Did Nick just show up this week? It was for Michael. Nah, he burst your bubble.

So there's a Froot Loop shake that I was going to surprise everyone. And which, by the way, I think you know, the biggest surprise would have been for him. Absolutely. He ruined the surprise you had for him. You guys literally not care. You would not care. Nick would have been the one going, ooh, in the car. Right.

So what happened? Okay. He said it. He was letting me know. He didn So what happened? Okay. He said it. He was letting me know. He didn't let us know beforehand. But he was going to let us know that he was. So as usual. I was surprised.

He's learned too many words. Yesterday you were like, hey, here's what we're eating. You know, prep. It's far shit. Again, important for Jordan to know who's driving. It's far shit. Cool. That was it. And shit. Again, important for Jordan to know who's driving. It's far shit. Cool. That was it.

And Nick was like, and... Look at this milkshake that I found. And Eric's like, wow, great. I was going to surprise everyone with that. But cool, thanks, appreciate it. And then it just immediately turned into, this is why you're not in the meeting. And you need to be shamed.

And it's time to start sending you shirtless pictures very quickly devolved into that you got a warning uh you got a couple shirted pictures muya is a place i ate at one time it is you ate there one time before today one time okay i think it was like near an ikea and. Muya sounds like a level in Mario Kart. It does. Muya Circuit. Yeah. It really is.

Moon Meadows is in there. Yeah. It's, um, it's, I don't really, okay. He's going all the way. Oh, I spun out. I spun out. It feels like a restaurant. He's just going.

Yeah, I'm trying to get there. It feels like a restaurant that is from a dream. Like you. It's not done. Like a dream come true? No. It looks like a restaurant that is not done yet. Oh, like Inception when the world's bending?

Yes. And you got to get. What's her character's name? Errande? I have no idea. The architect? I have no idea what any of those characters are. I remember Cobb and then there was Ariadne.

Is the character's name. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy, but I was thinking... Not Tom Hardy. What's his name in Star Trek? Chris Pine? Chris Pine's not in that movie. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy. Kroll.

Krum. Oh, he played, um, oh, fuck, what was the character's name? I sound like this. Fuck! Anyway, come back later.

There's a big chalkboard where people are supposed to have fun and draw stuff. Yeah, Moodle Doodles. Moodle Doodles. Fucking huge and empty.

Empty because they don't leave chalk out. Well, no, because they probably erase it every day. It was probably huge yesterday. Uh-huh. I don't think it was. Yeah. It all looks like it just- My life is meaningless while you're still alive.

Tom Hardy, Star Trek. It just seems like a place that- Are we thinking of Eric Bana's character? Nope. Like it just opened? That's, yeah. Yeah. It looks like a place that just opened, thinking of Eric Bana's character? Nope. Like it just opened? That's, yeah. Yeah. It looks like a place that just opened,

but it has definitely been there for a while. I don't really understand what this is serving. They must be thriving though. I suppose. Well, what's interesting is the placement of the restaurants because they are in those suburban locations. Those little shopping malls. Are you looking at a movie or Star Trek?

I'm looking at Star Trek. I'm trying to keep the conversation going. Okay. I'm just curious just to know what you're going. Are you looking at a movie or Star Trek? I'm looking at Star Trek. I'm trying to keep the conversation going. Okay. I'm just curious just to know what you're going. I'm looking up Tom Hardy's list so I can scroll back. Why wouldn't you just search Tom Hardy Star Wars? Star Trek. Star Trek. Why wouldn't you search Tom Hardy Star Wars?

C3PO? Because I wasn't sure which one he was in. Is he in the first one? He's in the last one. Fourth one. I was very clear. Star Wars 4. Yeah, it was 4, right? Tom Hardy, Star Wars 4. Let me backtrack here. You're thinking new Star Trek. I'm talking old Star Trek.

He was like a kid. He was like 20. Oh, hold on. Scrolling back further. He's like what I used to look like. Small and fragile. And now we're both big like houses. Now you're both big Bane guys.

Now we're going, that's bait. That's true. That's bait. Wasn't he really on crystal meth for a while I don't fucking know I think he was damn someone should let me know

if I'm gonna be with him his name Shinzon there you go Shinzon yeah Shinzon there's somebody at home

listening to this he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was

he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was he was Yeah, this was Star Trek Nemesis. I was born in the mines. Yeah, isn't that the fourth one? Yeah. Well, the new generation movies. Next gen. But yes. Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit, man. I might as well have just said Star Wars. I said Star Wars, baby. Star Wars and Star Trek new generation. Come on, guys. I don't watch any of this. I know about it because fucking Plinkett. It's the only reason I know anything about Star Trek. Fuck you, Rick Berman.

What is it with Rick's? What is it with Rick's? All right. Fucking hell. You want to get into the haiku? Oh, yeah. I guess so. So Jordan had to do research for the haiku because I don't think he knew shit about this place.

Yeah. It's always a struggle when I don't know anything about the restaurant. Oh, boy. Try writing five facts. Five guys, but Plano. Dumb name I don't want to say. Too far north, get real. Yeah. Damn.

I mean, I think you really hit it. That was less about the restaurant and more about Jordan's proclivities. That's all three things I feel about it. Yeah, no, I understand. Looking at the pictures, I was like I'm getting five guy vibes. They're from Plano. That sucks. I'm not knocking it, but sometimes

I'm just saying we can agree. Sometimes Jordan's haiku will apply to everyone, like the one that we have, that we sell. Right. Oh, yes. That one really only applies just to Jordan. Yeah, we can't put this one on a

piece of merchandise. I mean, we could, but it would have to be you. Too far north to get real. It would have to be you or one of your neighbors, probably. Or somebody living even further. Very specific. Yeah, and they have to hate Plano. Yeah. I will say, before we get into the facts,

four meals, which is four burgers, four personal fries, four little moo shakes. $78. That's a fucking lot. Moo-lah. meals which is four burgers four personal fries four little moo shakes 78 dollars i didn't even think of that but you got them yeah before before i said the name out loud i was trying to figure out what they were doing and i was like is it moolah yeah yeah and then i said it out loud i was like oh no yeah let's learn about it inflation mooyah fact it was a monumental occasion for our hometown of plano texas citizens celebrated in the streets maidens danced around maypoles dogs hugged cats and angels sang 80s songs at least that's how we remember it fact taken from mooyah website okay so that wasn't you nope in my

can you fucking believe that a little bit can't i can believe it on a i would i'd push to maybe have you fired if you just lied right but in a realistic term i can't believe it crazy that's wild uh-huh they wrote that that's on their website. That's how everything is written in their website. I was going to point that out. In my research for the haiku, I read some of their About Us section. Dog shit. Boy, did I want to stop reading it as soon as

I could. Everybody's doing research. We love fun. We're a bunch of fun-loving fun-havers. I also hate it. I get dogs hugged cats. I understand what you're trying to portray. Why are the angels singing 80s songs? Is that an equivalent? Right.

You know that thing angels would never do. Angels hate 80s songs. Here they are belting it out. They do 60s stuff only, idiot. Want to hear fucking Gabriel sing Bon Jovi? You're in luck. That's right. You're living on a prayer.

It made me not want to eat here. Was I named after a saint for a family that doesn't really go to church or care? Absolutely, I was. I was named after a river in the book that none of my family cares about. Does all of your family have biblical names? No. No. It gets around.

Yeah, I get it. It's a real pick and choose scenario. Names are just names. Well, you get the like heritage names. Yes. Then you get those out of the way. And then you're like, I don't know. I guess Jesus.

That seems like an important. It's a thing of like, I feel like I wasn't that religious growing up, but damn, where there are statues everywhere. You know, everywhere. Interesting. It's on the front lawn. You know what I mean? Like, hey, we're praying in here.

It's interesting. You say that. Michael Vincent, huh? Yeah. Huh? I'm the third of three kids. Same. And, uh...

Let's fight. You can... Oh, I thought you were challenging me. You win. Congratulations, Michael Vincent. I stood up and I lost my train. You were looking for it going backwards. It was gone.

It was gone. It was gone. Well, this is also very similar to how fights went growing up. It's new to me. Right, you're right. BH cap. But it's funny you say they have the heritage names and stuff, and then just the Bible. Apparently, all the heritage names got used up on my other siblings

because they just pulled names out of a Bible for me apparently Like Jordan and Christopher Nobody in my family has those names But one's very Very Christ-like In the first half especially And then one is just

The river I guess and there's a country named I don't know Anyway I didn't put that together I didn't put that together until you said that I mean you know they're white they're in America they're just like fuck Bible I guess

you know what I mean that's a bet we come through there we don't have they didn't have close ties to like the home the home country so like nothing no Polish names for me or anything mostly though you know what I mean it's not my middle me or anything. Food mostly though. You know what I mean? It's not. Dude,

my middle name was pierogi. I would have been happy with that. Joel Jordan. I can't say it. Bleep that. Cause it sounds like I'm being racist. When I say it, it's not good.

Oh boy. Don't you say the P word. The fuck did you just say? Don't you say the P word. That's my word. Yeah. Michael and I can say it. Can I tell you,

Lindsay's been like, I heard you can't say that. I go, I say whatever the fuck I want Michael and I can say it. Can I tell you, Lindsay has been like, you can't say that. I go, I say whatever the fuck I want. Because I only use it when in reference of how stupid I am. Right. Hey, I'm going to tell somebody. Fuck. Oh.

Only I can tell the story about the little boy with his finger in the, you know. Why do you think I started working for an electrician? I had to hedge my bets. A lot of stories about our people screwing in light bulbs. Screwing in light bulbs. And I go, fuck, I better learn. Working with chainsaws. I got to provide for my future Polish family.

If anyone's listening at home, I'm sitting here politely, and I'm not laughing. What do you have to say? I'm simply sitting here and going, my friends, I support you. I don't here politely and I'm not laughing. I'm simply sitting here and going, my friends, I support you. I don't know why he's rubbing his hands together and nodding. That's what. No, no, no. He's mouthing it's all true.

He's doing it. He's mouthing, get him, get him. I grew up with and around Euro trash. I am 100% Euro trash. Nick's giving a thumbs up. I don't know if he is too or he just likes it. Both. Weird answer.

Let's learn more about Muya. Yeah, we got off topic. Sorry about that. Oh my god, we're still on the facts? We're on the second fact. One. Alright, cut all that. Now put it all back. After operating independently for 10 years, Muya was sold in 2017 to

Balmoral Funds and Gala Capital Partners, who also own Del Taco, Applebee's, and J.F. Fox. J.F. Fox remains the only banned restaurant in Face Jam history. That's a good note. That's a two-for-one fact. Fuck them. Never eat there again. Never. Never doing an episode

there again. Banned on Face Jam. Banned. Face Jam banned. Let me check. Still active. If you thought maybe... Let me check that hole we pushed them into. They're still there. Yeah, there's no... They're claw Banned. Face Jam banned. Let me check. Still active. If you thought maybe. Let me check that hole we pushed them into. They're still there. There's no. They're clawing up. They got close. Kicked them back down.

Get the broom. Get the broom. That will not be expunged. There's no time. Dude, as long as those tiny tacos are still on the menu. The tiny tacos are still there. They have not gone away. Had a friend who got them the other day and went, you guys are right.

You get them loaded all the way. Don't get plain. What the fuck. Did he get the red ones? No. He also said loaded all the way. Don't get plain. What the fuck? Did he get the red ones? No. No, he didn't even get the red ones. Maybe the red ones were limited edition. Maybe they got heat rash or something. I don't know. In 2017,

which was the same year that Mouya was sold to Balmoral Funds and Gala Capital Partners, who also own Del Taco Applebee's and a Knoxville Mouya challenged customers to eat a 10-stack burger for the 10th anniversary of their No Kid Hungry fundraiser. Okay. The winners received a t-shirt while the children received nothing. Muya.

I was going to say, those 10 burgers could surely go somewhere better. Again, look. Absolutely insane. Look, let's just be rational for a second. Okay, that's right. We're not being rational. I understand the optics, right? There's truly no way that burger was going to get to those hungry kids.

I understand that's what you see. You see wasted food, hungry kids. There's no way that burger was making it. But they could have done something else. They could have done something else. They could have done something else. You know what I mean? Yep.

I'm just saying. Moya doesn't own a van. They could have looked at this and said, now guys, I think they went, realistically, there's no way we're getting this burger to the hungry kids. So everyone will understand that. Let's do it. It's what happens when you're in a room and you see the problem and then you figure out how to solve it, but no one else later can track the thinking that

you had right so they don't bother connecting the dots they just connect easy to solve the problem when no one's there to tell you what the problem's gonna be yeah i solved it no you don't know what it is yet you have no idea what you're doing how do we help kids who are hungry okay here watch people eat listen to me yeah here's a shirt hear me Hear me out. And they got sold? In August 2021, New York City restaurant owners sued Mayor Bill de Blasio for enforcing vaccine mandates for indoor dining. Muya owner Art DiPoli, or DiPol, I don't know, probably DiPoli, said that he, quote, been getting negative responses to the mandate. To say, quote, been getting negative responses to the mandate. To say, quote, been getting negative responses to the mandate. Been getting.

And as we all remember, August 2021 is when COVID was over and MUYA prevailed over NYC. Quote, unmask. We all shouted from inside the MUYA. Then we all caught Delta. Rip. Now, there was a quote in there, but I'm not sure who I was quoting at that point. Who are we quoting?

I don't know if we were still quoting. Were we quoting the mayor of New York? Were we quoting the website? Is this another website? I don't think Bill de Blasio yelled unmasked. That seems like the thing he would be working against. Been getting negative responses to the mandate. Shit.

I hope that turned around for him. Oh, man. I'm chipped, so I'm good. Last fact. I'm stronger and smarter than ever. I, every day, and he doesn't talk back, but much like letters to Santa, I talk to Bill every day.

Yeah, we're talking to Bill. I lay down and close my eyes and I go, Bill, are you there? Thanks for Microsoft. I didn't really care. Thanks for for Microsoft. I didn't really care. Thanks for Clippy. I didn't really care until I got an Xbox. I always whisper, bring Clippy back.

I didn't really care until I got an Xbox and then I realized that you were the real deal. But in retrospect, I guess the computer is kind of more important. As a 35-year-old, I guess I would have to take the computer if I had to pick one. But they're both great.

All right, good night. Good night, Bill. And then I go to sleep. And I don't expect him to reply. But just that I know he's listening. I got in a fight once because somebody uninstalled Banzai Buddy. Oh, whoa. Did you get into a fight or someone said fight me and you said you win?

Who's to say? But let's just say it was a rift in the family for a second and uh they kept saying it was third-party malware and so i always whisper to bill gates at night it wasn't right bonza bonza was my buddy i deleted it how big was it 16 kilobytes how long did it take to reownload. Two days. Yeah. I wanted to play that this weekend! I had to go online.

I tied up the landline. When I look in the sky, I look for the bonsai buddy, so Bill lets me know that it was not malware, and he was my buddy. People just didn't understand yet. It was too out of its time. Final fact! Philly Bite Magazine ranked the Muya in Garwood, New Jersey

as its number five must-try burger in Union County. Numbers one through four. Getting a burger literally anywhere else in the country. Not just the county.

I had to double check. No. Because it jumped from county to country. Why is Philly... You almost got me there. Why is Philly Bite Magazine doing stuff with

Garwood, New Jersey? They're just so close. Because they're close. Weird. Just a bridge away. Philly, you get to a certain point in Philly where everyone becomes, they go from being New York sports fans to Phil Dill. Philly and Jackson are about 20 minutes apart. Huh. There you go. 25? Weird.

Extremely weird. Who let those tri-states get so close together? Stop touching each other. Why are these states so small? The people are so distinct that you would think there would be more separation. Here's the thing. And that's true, right? West Coast, to me, it's basically California.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Although I'm uninformed, you guys are from there, a million sects in that. Oh, yeah. But not being from there. We can tell a San Bernardino rat from while away. Not being from there, it's just California. Yes, of course. I think not being from the East Coast,

you still know it's not the same. These New York fuckers don't like the New Jersey fuckers. Totally different. And they don't even say Pennsylvania. They say Philly. Philly's the city. Pennsylvania's like, I think Amish when I think Pennsylvania. What are they going to do? Go after Pittsburgh? Not worth the time.

It's always like, people go, I love Pennsylvania. What are they going to do? Go after Pittsburgh? Not worth the time. It's always like, people go, love Pennsylvania. Fuck Philly. But yeah, it's those three states hugging each other and then about 40 other states. I go, what's the difference between these states? What the fuck is Connecticut? What's Kansas and Wyoming?

What is Delaware? What does it do? Delaware is the fuck is... How are they different? What is Delaware? What does it do? Well, Delaware is one of those states that get nudged in there. Delaware is like, we wish we were a tri-state, but it's the same thing. Oh, really? Huh? Oh, are they like trying to get in on it? It's right there.

Yeah, Delaware, like Connecticut, Rhode Island. Oh, is that what Delco means? When people talk about a Delco accent? Fuck if I know, but maybe. It's Delaware County, yeah. Oh, okay. I didn't know that. I'm just saying, like, Delaware's in there, Connecticut's in there.

Which is in Pennsylvania. Rhode Island's in there. Jesus Christ. Those are all like, yuck. It's very close together. Yeah. But all very like, no! Yeah.

I'm from here! It's all so distinct. And then when you move away, it's so fucking stupid and pointless. I look back and I go, i still meet people now that are like fresh to texas and like and new york and i go i just stop i just don't care i don't care you'll trust me now we have rivalries with play now you'll get over it yep this isn't even me talking you down you won't care yep you you'll be disgusted with what you're doing right now you're gonna see you're gonna see what it's like out here and you're going to really, until you

go to Amarillo, you're going to have a lot of problems with Dallas. You're also going to go, oh my god, someone who is kind of like me, this is great. Like having someone in Texas who's not from Texas, like the East Coast, you don't give a fuck where they're from. It's just like, well, I'm from, don't tell me, this is the East Coast. It's fine.

Don't ruin it. Please don't ruin it. Please don't say me, it's the east coast. It's fine. Don't ruin it. Please don't say Delaware. And that's Muya. I mean, look, not the most off track we've been. For a restaurant, we've all never been. And we're still only

31 minutes. So I think round of applause for us. I think. Because this could have gone really bad, right? Especially with him blowing the fucking big surprise. I noticed that just us are clapping and you guys, do we get to bow like you guys do? Or is this a live show situation? But we didn't bow, though. That was the gift.

We didn't clap. Yes, we didn't clap. Just you did. But we didn't bow. Okay. So that was like our version of clapping. Yeah. We gave up.

Our humility was. Exactly. Exactly. You have. Yeah. We gave up. Our humility was. Exactly. You have to show we gave up. It was like Lent for us basically. You know what I mean? We had the opportunity to be praised and we kind of let it wash over us. Vincent.

Michael Vincent. Mikey V. Yep. Your family celebrates Lent? Fridays. Observe Lent? Does anyone celebrate Lent? Celebrate's not the right term. Celebrate. It's definitely observe. We want!

Marking my calendar. No. Okay. But they know about it. Yeah. I have a friend who doesn't celebrate Lent, but she does.

Right, because no one does. But she does celebrate every fast food restaurant having fish sandwiches for about a month. You celebrate the deals. She goes fucking nuts. They make deals for Lent.

The fish delight is back. They know! The McFish. Again, people are worried about the vaccines. And they're openly going like, this is great. It's like, they've got you. You understand.

They know it's Lent. None of this means anything to them. They're just pushing fish on you because they know you can't eat the other shit. And they're tricking you into buying it. And you lent none of this means anything to them they're just pushing fish on you because they know you can't eat the other shit and they're tricking you into buying it like this is great this is so great well it's great when it works out for you yeah uh nick has written shrimp deals yo okay shrimp deals yo then you took the time to write here's the thing and this is me assuming I'm not gonna pry because it's irrelevant

but this is me stating you can have someone like Nick who may or may not observe Lent in any way shape or form but he's going fucking jackpot it's strip season and he's just running in just cashing in

and he's just like oh you're here for in. And he's just like, oh, you're here for Lent? Fuck no. I'm here for the deals. I'm here for the shrimp deals. Yo! He's like the one, like, not Jewish guy at the movies on Christmas. He's like, no! I love film! I just escaped my family.

I'm a cinema guy! It's just so easy to go to the movies on Christmas. This is so great, and I get to absorb a whole other culture just so easy to go to the movies on Christmas. This is so great. And I get to absorb a whole other culture. Yeah. I get to learn so much. I know we're 33 minutes in now. And you've got to get to this explanation.

Do you want to talk about the great idea you had yesterday? Oh, absolutely. What was the great idea? We can at least start kicking the tires on this idea. I'll say, let's get it rolling because this is how we make things happen. We put it out there and then we kind of go, oh, fuck. We kind of fucked ourselves.

We put it out there. And then we scramble to tell someone else to do it. Exactly. And then... Eric's already scrambling. So we're, I don't even know what we're talking about.

You'll catch on. Great. Okay. Oh, I had this idea where I, what's the next face jam thing? It's so hard,

like being, you know, it's like the Steve Jobs of face jam, but everyone's counting on it. Yeah. And it's like, what's the next big thing?

And you go, okay, we can always expand our demographic. We know where it is. We talked on it. Yeah. And it's like, what's the next big thing? And you go, okay. We can always expand our demographic. We know where it is. We talked about it last week. We got some new ones. We got babies on this. Yeah, we got babies now.

Listen, let me pitch. Babies on board. Face jam. Okay. I got to stand up for this. Let me pitch this. Okay. Face jam youth t-shirt, right?

Now, that's the name of it, first of all. It's just called face jam youth t-shirt okay okay and we sell a real youth size okay i don't know what size that is but like youth dude kids clothes it don't fit them okay it don't fit them too big nobody gives a shit okay too small can't wear too big if it's too big it's a night we find like a t like a like a nine ten year old size but i don't know what size that is, youth, right? That kid 6 to 12 can wear that shirt, okay? Oh, yeah.

Because little kids wear, my kids are great. They wear giant shirts like that or whatever. If they hit puberty late, they can wear it until 13, 14. Okay, so here's the thing. Here's the thing. Now, 6 to 12-year-old, I don't know what Face Jam is. I don't watch that. Right.

We put on the shirt Face Jam, theme it like it's a real fun kids cartoon. Like Face Jam, we make the monkey more cartoony than usual. And make it look like a show. And all his little character friends. And all his little character friends make it look like a show. Our fans now buy it for their kids, their grandkids. They don't know what the fuck it is.

They go, wow, look at this cool monkey whatever shirt. They wear it, fucking free promotion in all the schools wherever they're going face jam face people start talking about face jam people think it's a show what is this show looking it up and like is it like blue we could get sticky when you get to the podcast and find it and download it and then you know whatever maybe you have a tenure listening to it right but their foot's in the door in the door it's right there also also here's how we cover ourselves we don't put listen to face jam on it because they were't telling them anything okay if we sell a shirt and it says face jam and they look it up of their own accord and they don't like what they found and it's i don't know

got it got it bro our hits are gonna go up our clips are gonna go up so i'm just saying face jam youth shirt who the fuck now look it's the most interesting way to do i know advertising right and i know% of listeners here are going either I don't have kids or my kid is 50. Right. But everyone. My kid died in the war. Everyone's got a youth in the family. Yeah, there's always a youth. There's always a youth.

You got nieces and nephews and grandkids and like friends kids. You don't know what to get them when it's like Lent. I don't think we could sell 500 youth t-shirts to 500 youths. Right. No. But I think we could sell them to youth adjacent jammers. And they should be like, hey, I bought you this cool shirt.

It's hip. Buy it for your neighbor, kid. All the kids are into it. Right. I'm just saying. Yeah. I'm just saying. That's my idea.

I'm sitting back down. Okay. I particularly like the angle of creating this backstory for a show that doesn't exist. Correct. That will confuse people. Right. But maybe we'll make it one day. Exactly.

That's the beauty of it. Like we're laying the groundwork. Then we'll look fucking smart. Like, well, they planned it the whole time. We start introducing characters. We did it all. Like the sauce monkey's the main guy. He doesn't talk.

He's got his grackle friend. Oh. And he's got a spice rat. Like, Michael's just a human maybe. I don't know. Come there in some way you're you're like the uh the nanny in um muppet babies it was just your legs oh and you come in you go what are you kids up to interesting and then so you're saying they're precocious they're precocious

get into adventures then human michael is there let me sidebar for a second. Is that still okay to reference? Because the nanny in Tom and Jerry is racist. Oh. So is the nanny in Muppet Babies, I think it's better position. I'm just saying. She was wearing stripy socks. Yeah. And she didn't sound like a caricature from my memory.

There's a reason I sidebarred. No, it's smart. It's smart to sidebar. Because if we're in the clear, you leave it. Right. If we're not, you take it out. Yeah, we'll look it up. It was a joke I wanted to make, but I went, we shouldn't gloss over it.

Yeah. All right, back to the show. Nick has looked up images of stripy socks. Well, I mean, that's clearly the new version. What's the 80s version, Nick? I don't think there was an 80s version. Of Muppet Babies? The fuck are you talking about? 90s? Yeah. Whatever.

That was not at all what he was just looking at. That was 90s? There's like a brand new new version. Oh, maybe not. Oh, I guess that is it. Fuck. Alright, we're good. So leave what he said in, but cut out the sidebar. Everything before sidebars. Sidebar till now. Go. There's a penguin with the Muppet Babies?

What? Is she a Muppet? I'm just looking at the new Muppet Babies. Oh, you're at new Muppet Bab till now. Go. There's a penguin with the Muppet Babies? What? Is she a Muppet? I'm just looking at the new Muppet Babies. There's like a penguin. Oh, you're at new Muppet Babies now. And it's also, it's like 3D or something. Yeah. They did that with the Rugrats and I'm not a fan of that. Same.

Rugrats look great. It looked awesome. Anything Klasky Shupo should not be made 3D. Should not look more realistic. How did you pronounce that? Mm-hmm. With a K. Yeah.

Crazy. Well, if you listen really closely to the end when they have their little... Say it a thousand times? Yeah, when they have their little button or whatever, you can kind of make it out. Because it is like a mess. It's like... Yeah. It's one of those. That's cool. Interesting.

I'm learning a lot. Unreal Monsters would be great, actually. That actually lends itself to looking horrific. Yeah, because it's cool. Interesting. I'm learning a lot. Unreal monsters would be great, actually. That actually lends itself to looking horrific. Yeah, because it's disgusting. Because they're monsters. Put them in a Dairy Queen. Put them in a Dairy Queen. Just fucking crumbs standing there holding two eyeballs.

He's screaming at the workers because we got our food first. I'm not certain I've said this before. Just skirted under the line of too gross for me except when they got to like the toenail shit yes

yeah there was always but again it's just that like the fucking the headmistress or headmaster I remember

fucking disgusting disgusting creature disgusting creature almost too gross Tim Curry inspired yeah almost too gross just Ren's

dippy booger shit big it's just Ren's dippy booger shit but other just red as dibby booger shit but other than that it was very cool Ickes was cool as shit because he was like and then he got mad yeah he got crazy

I really identify as an Ickes but you just get mad you don't get big no I get big in my head I'm doing Ickes style growth and I'm getting so red also not surprising red he's fucking red red. Also, not surprising, red. He's fucking red.

Fucking red. I mean, red-ish, but not red. Big and red. Whenever Eric needs to be brave, he just pretends he's Ickes. Yeah.

And he pictures himself getting big. I'm big. I can do anything like Ickes. I don't want to ask any questions to the people who work at the Home Depot

about where the lumber is, but I'm going to pretend to be Ickes and I'm going to be brave. Or the tire for my dad to get. Right there. Thank you. Is that how you would ask your dad for stuff? You'd pretend to be Ickes?

Yeah, do it classic Ickes style. Your dad would be like, stop doing that. You're not Ickes. Stop being Ickes. Also, stop making me watch. I keep telling you, you're a crumb. Your brother's Ickes. Kyle's Ickes, you're a crumb. Your brother's Ickis. Kyle's Ickis. You're a crumb.

You'll never be an Ickis. You'll always be a crumb. My brother's favorite was crumb. He loved crumb. Who didn't love crumb? Yeah, crumb's great. Hey, teach us about mooyah food. All right, let's read about it.

Booyah! Hot bacon jam burger. The mouth-watering hot bacon jam burger features juicy quarter pound certified angus beef smashed with grilled jalapenos cheddar cheese apple with smoked bacon and hot bacon jam on a signature baked in-house bun is that all caps is so confident in its taste and appeal they added it to their special burger hall of dang lineup available only online and in store for guests in the know no let me let me ask you this yeah what's up with this place don't know let me ask you this yep let's just listen to this it says it's so

confident yeah in his taste and appeal they added it to the thing you can only get like only online and in stores for our guests in the know. So like they're not that confident in it. We're so confident. If you know about it, you'll find it. Yes. We're so confident. We're hiding it. Also, we're so confident it's on the special menu and it's going to go away.

Also, we got there and here's what I was anticipating the whole time. I was going to have to go and show them on my phone this burger. That you know about the dang. Yes. I thought it was going to be like, hey, I want to order this burger. Are you a cars carrying Hall of Dang member? I thought the woman wasn't going to know what it was. But then we got there, and there was giant signage for it everywhere.

So what the fuck did any of that mean? I don't know. I think i got to say a hall of dang so that's pretty fun i mean yeah it's pretty fun to say it yeah yeah he was allowed to yeah mom said go for it dang it that was i don't understand what the in the know thing is i don't get it um yeah that's very weird also are you selling it or not yeah shut the hell up it's a food item do you want me to fucking eat all. Shut the hell up. It's a food item. Do you want me to fucking eat it? The Hall of Dang thing seems like it's somebody's idea.

And they're like, I came up with this idea for a Hall of Dang thing. And he's like just high enough that somebody has to do it. Yeah. Or else he's going to like complain to another VP. And then they just don't actually follow up on any of it. Whatever. It's Hall of Dang or whatever. And that guy sees it in six months.

He goes, what the fuck is Hall of Dang? Our heads will roll. When I find out who did this. All right, how about some press material? Quote, both of these offerings were created with our guests in mind. That's great. You would think any goddamn food invented at a restaurant

would have the people who are going to eat it in mind. Thank you for saying that right at the top. Stop poking holes in this. Both of these offerings. What does that mean, by the way? What's the other offering? The Fruit Loop Shake.

Oh, I didn't know that was part of the deal. It's because he spoiled it and ruined the reveal. Yep. No. I did my part. I acted surprised. I know. Yeah, you guys both did a good job of acting surprised. Nick was. I'll be honest. I was surprised. I forgot. Nick I acted surprised I know Yeah you guys both did a good job

Of acting surprised Nick was I'll be honest I was surprised I forgot Nick was too surprised Yeah yeah yeah He just kept going

Wow do you think they have shakes Nick What kind of shakes Do you think they have Wow what flavors do they have Real crazy Do people like shakes Real strice and effect

Am I people Yeah we kept going And Eric just kept going Shut up I'm not buying it We know what you're people yeah we can't go and eric just go on shut up we know what you're doing and we don't like it sorry but both of these offerings were created with our guests in mind and we are so excited about our partnership with kellogg's as well as our all-new hot bacon jam burgers says sarah bedo muya vice president of. I hope she didn't come up

with the Hall of Dang. It is our intention to keep partnerships like this and exciting menu additions coming all year long. I like that. They have the best of intentions. I like that.

And they're not wrong. It's a partnership with Kellogg. Their partnership is we're going to throw six fucking Froot Loops on top of this. Six Froot Loops on top! On top of this shake we already make. I can't imagine

just the legal bounds to get that partnership. What does it turn out to? Something, again, if not a chain, you could just do. You could just go buy a bag of Froot Loops at the store and put fucking five of them on top. Everyone that's not a chain would do that. But now, I get

you have to, but that does mean it's like ah, announcing this, you're announcing they let you do it. Yep. They're announcing your ass isn't getting sued for throwing six fucking Froot Loops on top of a milkshake that's way too thick. Make it thinner or give me a bigger straw. It's like when Applebee's or whatever had the Cheetos

wings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They ran out of the Cheeto and it's like, just go buy the Cheetos. You guys actually, and you're allowed nothing you just the cheetle and it's like just go buy the cheetos you guys actually and you're allowed you got the clear yeah you got the partners you don't have to wait for the truck yeah the truck's coming from walmart the cheeto truck is on its way uh but hey let's hear from kellogg's okay i'll put on i'll put on a slightly different voice for this one okay we're delighted to partner with Muya and bring the iconic bright colors and fruity taste of Fruit Loops to make this exciting new menu item even sweeter. Says... Go ahead.

This could be a guy's name. Okay. Yvonne Valdez Balsinde. Okay. Marketing Director Breakfast Category. Keep going. Keep going. I can't. Marketing director breakfast category. Keep going. Keep going. I can't. Marketing director. I want to know what this guy

has to say. Oh no, we're not done with this title. Keep going. Marketing director breakfast category. Kellogg's away from home. What the fuck does that mean? I thought that was the Spider-Man movie. It's Tony the Tiger fucking jumping

from building to building. Oh fuck, it's Kellogg's away from home. It's fucking 2K Sam flying between buildings. I can't wait for Kellogg's into the breakfast verse. Breakfast verse. I mean, they got a lot of characters. They do. the breakfast first. I mean, they got a lot of characters.

They do. We animated the cookie crisp guy on twos. We just don't know what their abilities are yet. It's like a different comic book style. We don't know what

their abilities are. What do you think the tricks rabbit do? Which one is Chris Pratt voicing? Here's the thing. All of them. And people are

fucking pissed about it. I'm so fucking mad. Here's his first attempt at doing the Count Chocula voice. Sounds like fucking shit. Fuck you! Anyway, Chris Pratt, Mario, lightning rod of hate. Kellogg's away from home. We know Fruit Loops fans of all ages will love this combination as much as we do.

It's true. Nick was so thrilled. Whoa, doggy. I love how much people hate Chris Pratt. Yeah. And I'm not defending the guy. I'm just saying, there's a lot of worse people. There's always time on the internet to hate everyone.

Specifically Chris Pratt, though. I'm not saying he did a good Mario, but man, it's like, oh, Mario Trolley, it's like, fuck this guy!

Fuck you! So mad. Such a role reversal he got. Such a, such a, such an audience reversal he got.

Happened so quick. Well, you know, Michael Vincent, Michael Vincent. It's like, well, you gotta watch how

much you're gonna read the bible yeah you gotta weigh it i guess can nick be like director breakfast category of face jam you know what i mean yeah i think that's not enough category yeah we need we need face jam subsidiary so it's like like a sauce division we'll just call it face jam end game okay Chris Pratt was in that a sample Nick holds his hand up and sauce flies into it jammers assemble

and everybody stands up and cheers what are the six infinity sauces spicy ketchup taco bell fire sauce is simple and everybody stands up and cheers. What are the six infinity sauces? Spicy ketchup, Taco Bell, fire sauce. Oh, In-N-Out spread. The animal style sauce thing.

Cheeks by the hero. To get that in. Before we run out. To squeeze that in, yeah. Chewy's jalapeno ranch. Am I too late? What was it? Wingstop Blue Cheese, and he's gone away. He's frantically yelling. He's screaming.

You got one more. Is it Chick-fil-A sauce? Is it Arby's? Is it Arby's sauce? I think it's Arby's sauce. He fucking shit a blood vessel when I said Arby's. He's screaming. Well, what did we think of Moo-Yah?

What did you think of the bacon jam burger? Part of it for me to Jujubee by its cover. But the website did not inspire confidence. And then the restaurant interior is kind of like what you said where it's like so unfinished.

An inception world. Definitely. Michael and Tom Hardy. Yeah. Michael and Tom Hardy. Yeah, me and Tom Hardy. I liked Tom Hardy better when he was Shinzon. Yeah, I get it. I liked him before he was Shinzon. What was up with the bun?

Yeah, the buns were weird. Very deflated buns. Flat and soft. You press them down to hold and then they just go but didn't come apart anticipated them falling apart and the whole hard hard to explain it's close to the way shake shack does their buns but shake shack hold up better i mean again the thing they did hold up yeah they were just so flat and soft i mean literally up i got you but yeah you're right i

guess i guess that too it's one of those things where you go, oh no, four bites. I'm fucked. I thought when looking at it and then picking it up the first time, it felt like if you got a hamburger bun wet, you know, it's, you know, it's pretty close to that and it does fucking fall apart. But the whole thing's a mess. Five guys, five guys. Yeah.

And it absolutely, like, I would say five guys when it a bun, is a better bun than this one. But when it quits, it quits. I definitely just sort of pick up the last bunches of chunks. Especially if you get a double, which is a regular there. And Five Guys, a little is a single. Don't fuck around. Nope. Little cow. Little moo. If you get a

regular moo, which is a double moo elsewhere, that bun ain't making it through. We had, we each had our own burger and it just held, they all held up. None of them fell apart. Very weird bun, but it did a fine job. It was interesting the patty itself and the bun both

kind of reminded me of Shake Shack. The fries are definitely Five Guys fries. And run over. And run over. It's like somebody ran over Five Guys potatoes. I guess they were stealing the potatoes. In the scramble, some of them got ran over. Go back, go back. But also they had to go back and get them.

I think the getaway car started spinning out on all the peanut shells. There you go. Oh, two minute, yeah. Ran over a sack of spuds. This is definitely- Such a fun word. Five guys in like that caliber and the price of $78 for four. Right?

Yeah. That's crazy. That's some pricey birds. Yes. But I will say it was pretty good. The sauce had a nice kick. I really, yeah. And the jalapenos were good.

What kicked? Was it the sauce or the jalapenos? I think it's both because I got one with a bite with a jalapeno. From Nick in the back. But yeah, I liked it. I thought it was a good It was a good cook.

It was a good burger, good fries. A lot of compliments from this guy. Hit him with the 20. The shake did not taste like Froot Loops. It tasted like

the milk after you've had tricks, not kicks. Fruity kicks. Fruity kicks. You got it. It's tricks. Right? Yeah.

He really kept saying, it's kicks. It's kicks. It's definitely not kicks. And that was fine. I just didn't even argue it. And then he went, yeah, I mean, it's fruity kicks. And I went, all right, hang on, back up. You said kicks like five times and you just added fruity kicks.

You can't, that's like. One, I've never heard of fruity kicks. No, everything has all that shit. But that's like saying, yeah, dude, fruity pebbles and fucking Count Chocula are basically the same. It's like, what? Well, I mean, chocolate fruity pebbles.

Like, well, yeah. Right, so I mean... So you gotta say berry berry kicks. If you say kicks, I'm thinking of the blandest cereal of all time. It says Barry Barry Kicks. You can't choose to ignore that Barry Barry. Anyway, it tasted like Trix. It tasted like Trix and it wasn't that bad.

I thought it was an enjoyable burger. It wasn't that bad. It was on eBay. Buy them. Buy it. Buy it. We can taste the truth. I thought it was a great burger.

I wanted to hate a lot of it. Is that a slogan from the Oat Keepers? Absolutely. Taste the truth. It seemed like it would be bad,. I wanted to hate a lot of it. Is that a slogan from the Oat Keepers? Absolutely. Taste the truth. It seemed like it would be bad, but I cannot deny the taste. I enjoyed it. It's an 82. 82!

Wow. Michael, what'd you think of Mooyah? For such an incredibly, insanely long drive, too. Minds were melted at the longevity of this nonstop road trip. It took like 20 minutes. It was a good burger. It was fine. I don't think I probably was thrilled about the accoutrements.

The sauce didn't really do much for me. It did have a nice kick. To me, it was a fairly basic burger. It was definitely not a, like, whoa, this is a special. It was a bacon cheeseburger. Yeah, but compared to some other things you can get. I agree. i'm just saying it i'm more i think the good rating is more we've never heard of this fucking restaurant and

they made a good burger yeah i think i think the limited edition probably had very limited usually very little to do with it restaurants that we haven't heard of and go to are like there's a reason we haven't heard exactly um and so i wasn't like blown away but but it was good. I didn't like the shake. And I don't think it's the Froot Loops. I think it's just the shake. Too thick. Thick ass shake. I mean, just I'm sucking and sucking and sucking.

And Eric got it as our drink. So we didn't have anything else to drink. We had to keep working. We got the shakes first. He just kept saying, work those cheeks, work those cheeks. And I'm working them hard. And we got the shakes first and i start sucking it and then the food came out and i look and there's no drinks and i go this was not a good

choice there is no one there is no thirst being quenched in this entire meal yep uh by the end of it by the end of like i don't know how long we were there 20 minutes 30 minutes yeah it had melted enough where i could actually drink it and I'm just like I mean come on now it's like coffee that's so fucking hot you can't drink it you've basically given me frozen ice cream I just kept saying make the damn straw bigger or make it warmer

and the straw was big but I still had clogs I had to keep pulling the straw out and clearing clogs like what is this a fucking drain this is crazy you're losing points for that is what I'm saying burger was good shake But I still had clogs. I had to keep pulling the straw out and clearing clogs. Like, what is this, a fucking drain? This is crazy. You're losing points for that, is what I'm saying. Yeah, I get it.

Burger was good. Shake, fucked up. Yeah. You got to fix it. I'm okay with running the potatoes over. Okay. I'm either way about it, but I'm happy people are happy about it. 75.

Okay. That is an average score of 78.5. It's a pretty good burger. That's fair. If you have a Mouillé near you, you don't. Maybe try it. I wouldn't go all the way there for that. No. No.

But if it was around the corner here, if I went to Alamo Lake Line and then I ordered a burger and they said, sorry, we're all out, I might go to Mouillé right after the movie. Right around the corner.

There you go. That's about it. Yeah. But realistically, I would just order something else. Yeah. A pizza probably yeah it's a very a pizza probably it's a very regular

burger it's a place that doesn't it's more regular than fast food yes I will say it's closer to one of those

it falls into a different category but I think it's the upper category I agree I just I think that

for a place with it's website having all this personality you go and it's a half an attempt at it yeah i agree because even even everything about that those other screams an attempt at it and even if the other places which is what i can't i don't go enough to say

it's authentic or not but like a place like hop dotty screams that like we have a personality and you know what it is and it's the restaurant yeah whether it's like a legitimate thing or all just super you know like a corporate thing i don't know but it's there this legitimate thing or all just super, you know, like a corporate thing, I don't know. But it's there. This did not have that at all. It didn't have that. It's just like, are you guys open?

Yeah. Anyone here? You know this is Muya, right? Fucking weird. But now it's time for a snack. Okay. This is from, this is one of Tony's treats. Another one of Tony's treats.

I just had a Tony's treat the other day. Tony has some great treats He's got treats I think that's a good way to describe what we're about to probably get into Oh boy This is called Bi Cheng Hong Barbecued pork It's a big ol' slab of it, okay

I think we should probably I would say eat one and see if gremlins want it But also I don't think gremlins are going to want this Why? I don't know, it just does not strike me as a thing that they're gonna want it looks like but you say want they'll eat anything want is after they tasted will they gorge right there you go they'll taste everything yeah that's that's i just want to be clear when he says eat he might be right they won't eat it as in fucking house we We had some things for them to try after a spit and silly.

We spat sill. And it was a smorgasbord. Yeah. And none of them liked it, but boy, did all of it get drank. Yup. It got drank up and drank up and drank up. You're going to fucking hate this. I'm going to hate it?

Why am I going to hate it? Because I just touched it. Oh, boy. And it does not feel good. And it's super smooth and not sticky. It's not a stick. It's like a slick. Can I tell you another thing that's amazing about having this?

I can fucking wash my hands whenever I want. Oh, perfect. Always have. No, I'm serious. I fucking came into work today and I slammed the car door by accident and squeezed my fucking energy drink and it splitted like all over the inside of my car. I took my big water bottle and I just threw water all over it. And then I had a fucking unused diaper in my car.

Nice. It just wiped it all out. Very absorbent. And I went, wow. I just MacGy over it, and then I had a fucking unused diaper in my car. Nice. It just wiped it all up. Very absorbent. And I went, wow. I just MacGyvered this shit. I don't know how we want to do this, but it's... Well, give it to me. Okay.

And then I will... Just snap it. I don't think it's a snap. It's more of a rip. Yeah. It smells like jerky. Wow, that's crazy. I tried to rip this.

What the fuck? That's not... It's like a Garfield comic. I'll just take... Okay. Yeah, take that. There you go. How does it feel? I mean, it feels like a Garfield comic. I'll just take. Okay. Yeah, take that. There you go. How does it feel?

I mean, it feels like jerky. Yeah. Honestly. It feels like a little bit more gelatinous and covered in some sort of. It's wet. It's wetter than usual. It's wet jerky. Jerky's supposed to be dry.

It's wet, not from the inside. It's like a glaze. It's like the outside is wet. Wow, that's weird. So, what flavor is this? Barbecue pork. It comes across. It certainly tastes like barbecue pork.

Maybe not in a good way, but it comes across. This isn't the form in which I want to eat this. You know what helps, though? Look at that picture while you're eating. It tastes just like that. When you're staring at the picture, the picture of the box

is like super juicy real pork ribs and it tastes more like that when I'm looking at it. It tastes like they somehow added artificially more real pork flavor to this. It shouldn't be this flavor pack.

It tastes more pork ribs than pork ribs. Yeah. It's weird. But clearly they're overcompensating for the lack of pork ribs. Something has happened. It tastes like the memory of pork ribs. Yeah. It's weird. But clearly they're overcompensating for the lack of pork ribs. Something has happened.

It tastes like the memory of pork ribs. That's, yeah. Mm-hmm. But how do we know that pork ribs weren't wheat mix? Well, I spin a top, and that's how I know if these are really pork ribs. And that's, yeah, yeah. You are Ariadne all along. What's the score for Bichang Hong Barbecue Pork?

This is not for me, but I can see people really being into it. Yeah, I think this is good. Maybe the grown ones do want it. This is actually, this is decent. I wish they could dial the flavor back. For something so, I guess, different, I'm okay with this. Yeah. It's definitely not for me, though.

Not a huge fan of the aftertaste going on. I'm going to give it a 65. Okay. I'm going to go 69. Nice. Wow. All right. Average score, 67. You have to say that. I'm going to go 69. Nice. Wow. All right. Average score, 67.

You have to say that. I think it's... Yeah. I think it's pretty... Kind of baited you into it. I think that's pretty... You forced me. Right?

It's very weird, and it's not something I would recommend, but fun to try. He's having fun back there. You know what else is fun? He's going to eat the whole thing. Gifts. Oh, we got gifts? Sort of. Gift me.

Is it Jams giving already? Give. I don't give. Gifts. Oh, we got gifts? Sort of. Gift me. Is it Jamsgiving already? Give. I don't give, I get. Very long letter, but we will get back to it. I think it's due. Maybe, yeah. You never know when it is. Or do we?

This is from a bug subject who made the Indiana Jones Crash Bandicoot edit. Oh, cool. A while ago. I also wrote on old yellow paper. Yes. Which you do not fucking ever see. No. I'm just saying, we've gotten fuck tons of letters.

I can't remember the last yellow. Like, they wrote that in school? Yeah, nobody writes on legal paper. Michael V., thank you very much, as he has given. His name is Michael V.? Yep. What? That's me!

Holy shit. What? He's a saint. What are we looking at here? Why is it a hard hat with a Tesla logo on it? Because Sauce Monkey safety helmet. Oh my god.

Is that a Stussy S? What the shit? He put face jam. He made a Stussy S on it. This is a This is a Sauce Monkey Customized. Let's put it on sauce monkey. Customized. Yeah. Well, let's put it on the monkey.

This is a customized helmet with a Tesla logo on it. What's that about? Well, now you can work at Tesla. You can just sneak right in. Can he get us a car? Right. Drive it off the assembly line. Here's some Rudy's coupons.

Oh, fuck. Hang on. And Albany. Alb Rudy's coupons. Oh, fuck. Hang on. And, Albany's gummies. One free drink on my next visit. You take the cup home. Alright, you motherfuckers. This expires in ten days. We gotta

hurry. Force in our hand. Just like you. Bunch of Albanese. Now you know how that feels. Holy shit, there's a lot. And, Nick walked out. He's gonna shit himself when he walks back in. Nick, look. A bunch of Albanese. Put your hat on.

He was woeing for the sauce. The thing goes in the back. There you go, bud. Usually you tighten it. You're not going to need it. Looks like Nintendo Mario Pitfall. Yeah. Good job.

That's what he looks like. Michael V. Thanks, Michael V. if you want to send us gifts or snacks, you can. You can send out snacks to Face Jam, Care Bear, and Coupon. 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas

78723. Free drink at Rudy's, but it expires in 10 days. We. He's gonna go. You can have mine, because you'll probably go in the next 10 days. Also, just so you know, he's the guy where, well, if you buy one, I'll get the free one. Yeah. So send your stuff there. Hey, Monkey League baseball shirt is out now.

Home run. Fucking awesome. And gave us some ideas for what we want to do with an episode of Face Jam, I think. I'm excited about these ideas. Yes, I'm excited about this shirt. Take me out to the ballgame. I he's scared the monkey looks like he's scared that the baseball is coming he's gonna like he's because it is it's like his coach told him to keep his eye on the ball but he's going cross-eyed looking at it he's like i'm just doing what i'm

told he's about to get hit in the face like justin turner he's just about to go down uh hey come on out to rtx we'll be there maybe a live face jam show and also rat and grackle pub i would say definitely start yeah start why even say maybe stop in like what are we gonna review are you trying to tease it or do you not know oh no we're gonna have one okay so i'm just saying so yeah so as a buster to incentivize you to buy your ticket why don't you go that's cool just tell them it's there to the show hey we're definitely gonna do a live show and see the rat and come fucking hang at the rat and grackle, just tell them it's there. Hey, we're definitely going to do a live show and come fucking hang at the Rat and Grackle within reason. We'll probably throw you out if you're there too long.

You know what I mean? Again, it's like Mystic Falls in the Vampire Diaries. That's where everything happens at the Rat and Grackle. If people are getting turned into ghosts at RTX, it's probably happening at the Rat and Grackle, or at least it's being talked about. Any new person, vampire in town, and you have a standoff with them, you're like, oh fuck, this is the new bad guy.le, or at least it's being talked about. Any new person, vampire in town,

and you have a standoff with him, you're like, oh fuck, this is the new bad guy. Tomorrow, he's the new waiter. He's the bartender. Can we have some sort of activation where there's a shady dude in the corner but he has quests to give out? Except if Nick and I just sauce.

Get me sauce. It's just condiment corner yeah he likes to fucking hang out there a lot it's a quest to him aha I give you this

ancient scroll Nick loves this idea what yep this says ketchup behind you yep aha

you can follow us at facegympod at facegympod on Instagram and on Twitter to stay up to date with everything but come on out to RTX

it'll be a lot of fun live show and rat and grapple do it or else yep for serious at FaceGymPod on Instagram and on Twitter to stay up to date with everything. But come on out to RTX. It'll be a lot of fun. Live show and rat and grapple. Do it or else. For serious. Hey, Spittin' Silly is next week. Listen to Spittin' Silly. We just had one that was the split decision where we ate chicken fingers.

Jesus Christ, that is coming out? Yep. Man, you know, it's a good thing to be ahead on Spittin' Silly. We're a bit ahead. Because we can't do it on this show. It's impossible. It's true. We also ate bows and cheese, bows and shreds, to see if it is mac and cheese.

Is it? Spoiler. Listen and find out. We got a couple of Spitz. Yeah. We have a couple more in the hop, too. We did some more good ones. I'm really excited for those to come out.

Oh, I was going to say, Ken, you said hop. Whoa. You shooting people with a paintball gun? What else do you say? Yeah, hopper. He taught me. What other, what else would you say hopper? Is that just a paintball term? I got it in the hopper. Probably for like a bunch of balls in the top of the...

Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying I've never heard of a hopper before paintball. No, I think it's that. Hmm? Pitching machine. There you go. Okay, that's good. Sports guy. He would know. He's the one on the shirt. There's a dumb low sports note. Really pisses me off. What a waste

of a fucking show. This whole fucking show is ruined. Oh no! Jordan, take us out. I just don't want Michael to be sad. I'm trying to think of something else we can talk about that's not sports. But all I can think about is sports. The World Baseball Classic final is tonight and we're going to go watch it. Rate, subscribe, and tell a friend about the show

where we eat food and rate the food and sometimes talk about sports. I don't care about talking about sports. We don't end on boring sports. And not just sports, boring sports. We can all agree that was not good. And I'm sorry. Next time, we'll do better.

Curling, now that's a sport.