100% Eat - Nick on the Cross - Taco Cabana Ride Along

Episode Date: March 19, 2026

Climb on the cross with the Sauce Monkey as he gets sauce for himself. JARED WHO is mad about Nick Pick's and Nick is gettin tricked by insurance. Or he's tricking them. FOUR of the meals. One? This is our first look at red goop. AND DON'T FORGET that we're watching Beekeeper (2024) with YOU on Wednesday March 25th at 6pm CT on discord! Get on by going to Patreon.com/100percenteat NOW! Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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on select 2027-volt and 2026 Equinox EV models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. Hot take, McDonald sucks, and Nick is awesome also, comma, arch is no better than a whopper. YouTube comment. Nick, how do you feel about that guy being on your side? Hmm. Right?

On one, well, first of all, saying Arch is. no good it's amazing it was very good also no better than a whopper that's I'm just saying just maybe like if you're feeling sleepy one day like in the middle of the night when you go to the bathroom accidentally go out your front door and wander on a highway like this one yeah like this one right next to the taco cabana yep that you know it's out of your mind yep this is a different taco cabana that we've been we haven't been to this one fucking burger king lovers this one I remember being the last good one is that right Nick this is the last

I had it, like, eight years ago. Last vestige. We are very Christ-like today. What? Festiges. Talk about vestiges. Talk about getting crucified. Yeah.

So last time I saw it and everybody was like, oh, you're gone for yourself. And I said, no, it's for everybody. Okay, thank you. Right. Thank you. So this time you punish us. So Nick got sauce at the sauce bar,

which he constantly says sucks ass. No, no. It looks better. Look, we all know. We brought some stuff back. The last time we went like a couple years ago. So he was like, I mean, I was sauce for everyone. And then he got sauce for no one today.

No one but him. And then he said he was crucified. We walked out and he said it was crucified. He sounded like this last time. It sounded like Donald Trump. We pointed out you had someone sauce, I was crucified. I didn't say it like that.

Well, crucifixion is having your hands and when he nailed you across. I think maybe it's a little exaggerated? Yeah. I was crucially. He's got a bucket full of sauce and he's climbing up on the cross Ross himself just hanging on to it.

Can't believe you guys would do this to me. Can you help me with the other one please? Why did you do your feet first? I'll use my head. We must repent. I will repent so Nick gets me sauce next time at least. Yeah. Nick, I repent.

How many Hail Marys? How many hell monkeys? Ooh, 10 Hell monkeys. Are we allowed to order the, are we allowed to order the, there's a drink, right? Hail monkey full of grace. It is a drink. Hell monkey full of sauce.

Hell monkey full of sauce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My friend Jared texted me. What do you say? Oh, what do you say? Wait, hang on.

Say the whole goddamn thing. Yeah, what's his name? Who? My friend. Say his Christian name. Say it! Say it! My friend Jared from Chief Esk.

Thank you. We didn't know he was. Until he had the qualifier. Right. I thought you'd been Vogel. Hang on. And Robbie Cole. He doesn't text.

Yeah, he doesn't. He doesn't, he's got a phone in there? Yeah. Yeah, but it's carved out of a bar of soap. You pretend. You pretend. This guy just jump in the gorp. Whoa, you crazy.

To go back into the regular lane. Why not? Make your own rules. Oh, dude, if you- fucking Bush is on the highway. If I had Nick's stupid insurance thing, it would have beat them. Be-doo, be-do.

If I got fucking tricked by the insurance companies, Nick, like, like Nick. He said it says money. You didn't get tricked. I'm tricking them. You didn't get tricked. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. You're tricking. them. I'm tricking them. I get the discount this year. They get to raise the rates on this. They can do it next year.

When they get the thing back and I'll cancel and get a new insurer. Boom, trick complete. All this is getting cut. Nick's new name. No, none of this is getting cut. Oh, damn. None of this is getting trickster monkey.

The trickster monkey. It's no better than a whopper. Come on. Jesus Christ. No better than a wopper is crazy. Just say it sucks. You know, just be like, I hate McDonald's. It just like shit.

You really invalidated yourself when you said no better than a whopper. Like, Jesus Christ. That flameboro taste is so fake. Fucking Burger King. They're either trying to like just make it sound awful because woppers are awful. Or they are a Burger King stand and they're like, they're free. Woppers are great. Yeah.

And just like either way, like your argument. Whoa. What a loser. That's the guy who thinks Burger Kings do. That's a guy. That's the fucking guy. Dude, I just watched Kingsman last night for the first time in a couple of years and seen it in a few years. The first one?

Yeah. The good one. Yeah. One. Not the king's man. One, I forgot. I forgot that it, yeah. I think it was filmed in 2014, released in 2015.

So they have a shot of an Obama impersonator. Yeah. Obama's president and I cried. I had a single tear straightened down my face and I was like, we didn't know what we had. Uh-huh. And then, and then near the end of the movie, I forgot they like blow up one of the satellites, like right near the end. And he's like, I'm going to reconnect with this other satellite.

And they're like, that's not our satellite. And he picks up Tony, he's like, hey, I need the satellite buddy. And I was like, that's Elon Musk. He's fucking crazy, dude, no. You watched a movie that was just right at the turn. Oh my God, you were just right there. Right at the turn. You were recording videos with Jack, and Jack was going, dude, Elon Musk is the fucking coolest guy in the world.

Yeah, he was. A lot. Now you can watch Iron Man 2 for other specials. Oh, yeah, that's right. He unironically and legitimately said at least on one occasion that he's like, like the real life Bruce Wayne. Yep. What? Elon Musk. If Elon Musk had heard him say that, he would have, he would have dreamed his mouth. Yeah. And people like, oh, this is who you are. The problem is he wanted to be, he was just a figure. He wanted to be cool

on like 4chan. Yeah. And that's an impossibility. And he doesn't have the guts or the heart to like be a guy who's like real fucking in. So he's just like he literally cares too much. Exactly. So he's just like this tepid thing. Well, I will say. Everyone sniffs that out. Like Batman. Oh, yeah, it's so obvious. Like Batman, Elon Musk as a symbol was beloved and he didn't, he didn't do anything.

Yep. He just existed. Right. And he got all those credit that he didn't deserve. Yep. And all these like props and shit that like was not true, but it was an assumption. Then he opened his now.

And then he went, I'm not a symbol. I'm a person. Yep. People were like, yo, fuck this guy. Holy shit. You should have stayed up there on your pedestal. I'm going to firebomb my own car. He killed Two-Face.

Anyway, that was a wacky time And movie, as every movie should end With anal. Yeah, yes. That was like the promise of the film. It was that he rescued a princess. It was like, fuck, you can do it in my asshole. And he went, she didn't even say anal.

It says, do it in my asshole. The final shot of the film is her naked ass. I was like, hell yeah. Hell yeah, I high five myself. Slend on. Was it in the second one where like they have the shot following the hand, inserting a device into someone's, a certain aura.

Yeah, really? I don't remember that. I don't remember, but I've only seen it once. Yeah, because it was bad. I remember seeing that part and being like, oh. The second one's a real fever dream. And it hits me off from the rip. I fucking hate when movies do this.

It opens up and it's like, They're dead. Yeah. Anyway, like, it was such a cool establishing movie. And now I'm like,

oh, now I want to see in the sequel, he'll like be a more... I want to be an agent. Yeah, he's going to do more spy stuff. The Kingsmen are dead.

Yeah. Oh, this woman from the first film, dead in the opening. Dead. They're all dead. Anyway, you're like, so low.

Hate that you. Yeah. And then something happens like you have none of your equipment. My skills are gone. That's a video game, though. I'll let it slide.

Yeah, But I'm saying like doing that in a movie is like, especially a movie where it's like the whole movie is like the spy franchise. Yep. And then like how many James Bond's in till it's like, MI6 is fucked? It's like, that's fine. Not the second one.

We've hardly even established these characters. It's just, it's good. I don't know if it is, but it just reeks of like a completely new writing team. Oh, absolutely. And they're like, we'll have your own thing. Well, I think they didn't expect it to be a hit at all. No, not all.

They're just like, yeah, we made like this little. movie and then it will like it did well and they went oh fuck also the stupid um fucking uh galahead wasn't really dead is nonsense oh yeah like yeah that movie was a real disappointment never even saw the third one no i didn't either i didn't either i was just like i don't care is the third one is the third one the prequel yeah yeah that's king's man yeah the king's man also stupid dumb kings man that would have been a better title to call the dog kingsman samuel jackson's great um More of the greatest stories. Hulu on Disney Plus.

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How are we doing? Blake Pantha. The ultimate soldier. Chicago, all right? The best of the best stories now with even more from Hulu. Amazing. Have it all with BYU on Disney Plus. When Westcham first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different.

People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Just a quick question before we get back with like the food or whatever. Question time. Do you think the order's right?

No. I thought you were going to say, do you think we're going to get the job to Wendy's? And I was gonna say yes. Oh yeah, we should. There's no way the order is right. Has it looking at all. I saw her put spicy cheetahs in the bag. I can't tell.

There are bags of chips. Eric reverted to just over and over again, picking up the advertisement on the table, pointing it. And I swear to God, this has happened, non-exaggeration, swear to God, he literally was like, the, four of these. He went, I want these. She know what the fuck he was talking about?

So he just picked up a picture, pointed to it. And the woman was speaking English. Uh-huh. It was, I don't know what the barrier was. It was just like, I want this and she went, oh, this, which is completely different thing. And he went, no. Four of these, four of this pointed at it

and she went, okay, one. Dude, it was, you walked away by that point. That's what I, I saw that happen. That's what made me walk away. Straight up, he went, four. It's like, I'm just not into cringe humor. Four, I went four. Can I have four?

She went, right, one. One? Well, it all started with. I was blown away. The first thing she put in there was shrimp yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. She went, no, I have that.

And went, no, you put shrimp. Yeah, you were like, no, four of these. And she said, oh, those are shrimp tacos. Yeah, what are you? And then she said, oh, and then deleted it. And then she's like, so what do you want? And then you said it again. Dude, it was wild.

There was no, the loaded, was he loaded fries? Yeah. I think you said loaded fries 19 times. You did. I just kept pointing at it too. Yeah. And then finally, you're like, okay, what sides did you want? Yeah.

And hit me, what the fuck? Yeah. Jordan walked away and then even Nick walked away. Well, Nick saw a salsa bar. No, he did. He did, but that's not why he walked away. No, he left because it was like, he was like, even I'm not going to be here. That's when I leaned in.

I didn't say anything, but I hope you felt my present. Oh, no, I knew you were there. I leaned in. I was just behind you. You were there? Hey, Tyler, step. Whoa. And then you leaned in, I asked if there was anything else he wanted, and you went, no.

Yeah. Why make this hard? Yeah, yeah. I thought I do your favorite. Well, because sometimes it's funny. Yeah. Yeah. Today was too much. Yeah, this was weird because it was, you know, maybe it's all fuck around whatever.

I don't know what I could have done better on my end. No, I mean, you had, you had visual aliens. Oh, okay. That makes sense. Yeah. There was no language barrier. No. No, there wasn't. Nope.

There wasn't. Nope. It wasn't crowded. It wasn't even. What really got me is... They had the food, clearly. Not even just getting confused by like a different combo. You said four.

and she said one. Yeah. It doesn't, you can't break it down any. I held up four fingers. It was, there was a whole, I mean,

it was full on. You said four a lot. I don't think I've ever heard someone say a number that much. It was, man, it was crazy. So then we just went,

hopefully we got what we ordered. We got something. Yep. Yeah. We definitely have, we definitely have cheetos. Nick is very sure that we got the cheetos.

I saw them put the bag in. He saw the bag. I see four bags of Cheetos. So that could be a problem. It's guaranteed cheetos. Okay. Welcome to Hell Street. Did you see that car drive in the other lane?

Yes. Pretty fun. Yes. Good times. Fucking crazy. Real crap shoot. This street is nuts. We got people paying $10,000 to see this.

Yeah, and that they did. Well, he didn't see that much. Of course I would. You know, because he was blind. He was taking a nap. He was blindfolded. Yeah, he didn't know what was going on. I thought he was wearing his sleep mask.

It was nap time. Shut the fuck up. We need to take Jeff's sleep mask. So now that this is- Because Jeff's always sleeping. So, you know, we're about to do the episode post-Cock Chair Evans. Yeah. I hope we're just going to really like talk shit about him.

Oh, we, how much we didn't like him coming. And how much we are all actually mad about not covering the taxes. More guys. Listen, with money. Where's the disconnect? I know. I didn't want to lay into him too much more. Four guys.

One guy? I'm with Nick. Four guys? Five guys? One guy. You want one guy? Four guys with four monies. Or-

That's 40,000. Or one guy- I want one guy with the monies of four guys. There you go. Oh, that's, yeah. We don't really need more guys as much as we need just more monies. No, don't worry. It was a crazy morning.

We had to apply for Wendy's. We did have to apply for Wendy's this morning. Hang on. We did film a video. It did. Well, just make sure we don't film that way. I won't. I came this way.

I think it's okay. exactly where we are. Right. Okay. We didn't have to film that way also. It's a roof. So Nick was right. We did get Cheetos.

Yay! Now is this a do-it-yourself style ab-t-old Cheetos? What is this? It's the reddest thing I've ever seen. Is that chios or something? Is this part of it? Is this flaming hot sauce?

I think it's flaming hot. Is this the Kesa Rojo? Why did you do that? Because I thought you were gonna go, I went like this and he, right? What is he ever done? What is he done with sauce? He would do that.

Why would he do that? Now I'm fucking. I'm thinking about it. It's like when my big brother would like raise up his hand and they're just go, eh, no, he don't. Oh, these are hot. Yeah. What's it?

Oh, that is. That's Koso. So red. Give it a way. There it is. Whoa, oh. Oh, oh. Oh, wow.

Whoa! Wow! It was like nothing and then the steam like, whoa. Wow. Okay, so my. My slices, this is clear. So we're supposed to dip Blamenhut

Cheetos into this queso. Yeah, crazy. And then the other thing is, not on purpose. Hey, these look like loaded fries. I thought that would be bigger. I'm not gonna lie, that meat looks disappointed. Loaded fries.

Okay. It's not a taco polandke. I got two of the loaded fries because I figured we didn't want to eat the whole thing. We get it. We got, but there you go. We get a door dash. What are you talking about?

Well, if this isn't good, we'll get some Taco Polenke. Okay. Or we get a big arch. We're eating. We're eating it. No matter what. Brett, what's so big. Yeah, well, yeah.

If you eat the food and you don't like it, it doesn't count. You get another food in that. Yeah! Well, no, I mean, we still- We shut out of lunch. But we eat good. Why give us bags of hot Cheetos also? To dip in the sauce.

Were they supposed to go on the taco? Or is there something already on the- Show us the picture you were pointing at. Yeah. Well, it's red. Yeah, but are there cheetos on there? I don't see though. I don't think so.

Oh, maybe we add it. What was on the picture? Do it yourself. That doesn't look good at all. Nope, but we're gonna eat it, and you're gonna find out what we thought of it if you watched the episode yesterday, because this came out later.

All right. Did I do good? Came out two days ago. Let's find out. Wait, you did bad. No, you don't know that.