100% Eat - Nick's Phone Died - Firehouse Subs Ride Along

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

Nick's phone is about to explode. Don't worry, Eric to the rescue. Nick'll take your phone. Give him your phone. He's gonna film. Does it have to be good? It's also a Graysie breakdown. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When we got here, Jordan almost walked into the Pita Shack. Oh, Pita Shack? I wanted to go on the Pita Shrek. I saw, I saw you almost going to be a Pita Pit, man. Did you also see when we got here, Nick ripped a bird to shreds? Yeah. No, it wasn't me. We got out and he pulled it out of it.

It was the monkey. He pulled it out of his pocket and he started fucking pulling it apart. I had to get the feathers. I like those kind of pillows. Yeah, he said he was cracking the bones for the marrow. You gotta suck them out. The bird marrow? The bird bone marrow.

That's awesome. I just wish, all bone has marrow. That firehouse subs smelled mold. like onion that was the haziest like place i've ever been in i kind of missed the shit hose it that's what eric was saying honest i'll say oh dude this guy that's my homie right here who's me and this guy he's that guy no he's gonna fight you want to get arrested yeah we're hanging out he turned back he's about this oh you filming me hey you filming me hey who is you you guys making a movie yeah uh hang on nick's phone just turned off dude nick's phone just turned off

The temperature iPhone needs to cool down before you can use it. I'm going to take the battery off the thing off the back. How the fuck was it hot? Don't know. That's a new phone too. Yeah. Is it hot? Yeah, it's hot as fuck.

They have good temperature. Holy shit. It's like burning. Yeah, we got audio. I mean, we got audio. No, we got audio. I'm just saying Nick's phone just got the temperature thing. Here, I'm going to take the case off.

Do you want my phone? Sure, yeah, I'll take your phone. Yeah, I don't think he's going to film with it. No, no, it's all right. Yeah, I'm going to film. What the fuck? Give me your phone. Don't give him your phone.

I would not give you. I'm gonna film. He didn't know we were moving. Give me a phone. Oh, there we go. Hi, phone. What? It's all right, we're rolling.

And clap. Hey, what the fuck? It's all right. It's all right. Nothing. None of that. No, I mean, everyone could hear what was happening. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just give it here. We're funny. What they?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You don't have a case on your phone? No. Wow. I didn't for a long time. Just don't drop it. Okay. Here's the thing.

I don't have kids. I don't... What? I don't drop my phone, so I just don't have a case on it. Yeah. Okay. You know what? Fair point.

You should get a case on your head next time you go down the stairs. That's right. Yeah. Well, yeah. Hey, he fell down those stairs? Phone was just fine. That's all I'm saying. He was fine.

Didn't drop the phone. Phone secure. Hair and brain matters stuck on the real. Oh. everywhere. All in the railing. All on the railing. Do we record that episode without Gracie in the end?

The episode without her, but the Michael Jordan podcast with her. That's right. That's right. It was the four of us. Oh, yeah. Because I was going to do the episode, and it was like, I don't know. I don't know that I'm well. No, you kept saying you could. Yeah. And then it was good.

And then I think I texted you later and I said, I think it's probably good that I didn't do it. Yeah. You did say that. But you did say you could do it, but it wouldn't be great. Yeah, you did say those things. Mm-hmm. And that's fine, right? It doesn't have to be good? Usually isn't, but let us make it not good, okay?

Let us have a room. I don't want it forced. Let it be a choice. Right. I think about that all the time. Mega-64 was Sean. It was like building some model building, and they were like, oh, we can hire this guy, whatever, and Sean's like, I'll do it.

And they're like, really? And he's like, yeah. Does it have to be good? And it's, whoa, what? What? Serviceable would be what we would shoot for. How is that even, why would that be a question you would even think to ask?

Oh, at least he asked this. I just need to know if me making it bad would be okay. Yeah, but free? Yeah, but free, Eric. Not sure what that does for us, right? It's like the three corners. You can have it be good. Uh-huh.

You can have it be fast. Or you can have it be by Sean. Yeah. And what's funny, if you pick the Sean one, yeah, yeah, that's the only corner. Yeah, it's just by, yeah, you get the one. the one corner and it's by Sean. If Sean built it to save money,

did they still have to internally charge themselves $10,000? Oh, you mean rooster teeth style? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like a different department. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, is that coming out of the Sean bucket? Yeah, it's going to show up. Oh, wow, yeah, this is actually way too expensive.

Oh, cool, so we're not going to do it and you'll just pay me to sit around. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah, because it's cheaper. Yeah, he has to expense double time for doing extra work. Yeah, think, yeah, think about it. Yeah. Don't think about it too hard. Oh, I was thinking, no, no, stop, stop, don't.

Green Ninjas are trying to kill me. If I catch you working one more time, trust me, I'm nowhere near working. I'm just thinking about thinking. And don't forget to fill out your time card. Someone's going to check that eventually. Don't worry about it. Oh, no. Hey, we're redoing the system.

I'm behind. Google Sheets. The Google Sheet is temporary for the next five years. I got hired and they told me that Google Sheet was temporary. and then we ended and it was still a Google Sheet. Well, they had updated it, though. They just went through the whole process of redesigning it from scratch.

I never made it to the Google Sheet. I quit way before that. Michael, don't worry about this. Michael, put Achievement Hunter, it's fine. Yeah, that was early on. That was all I ever did. Then it got more complicated. I was not doing this.

And everyone insisted you had to, and yet I didn't. But how will we allocate your time that you're getting paid for? Maybe that's what something to come. That must, you know what? They didn't know where it must be. They didn't know who to charge for Michael time. Yeah.

The Michael Bucket Overflow with. Oh, no. Certainly not achievement. What are we going to do with all this Michael time? And not give it to Michael. How long did you spend on that topic? Give it to everyone else. That's what you do with the Michael time.

Everyone else you have the Michael time. Can I ask the Michael time? And then also, you can now. Also, when they get the Michael time, they'll like roll their eyes about it. Oh yeah. Of course it's Michael time. The guy we asked to be in this.

Ugh. It's got to be in everything. Michael time. It's got to be in everything. What do you mean you won't do it? Yeah. Ah! Incoming 19 slacks from fucking 15 different people.

Hey, why aren't you doing this? Why aren't you doing this? The only thing I ever said like actually like no to was that last laugh show. Hey, me too. I said I said no to it. But you were in it. No, that was like a little cameo thing. No him.

No him. I was admin about no to season two. And then they said even after season one ended before season two, like no one has a B&M you want to, except. Except my kid, please, be an end. You have no choice. You really have to. Yes.

It was what do we have to do for you to be in it? Because you don't have the choice. Yep. About my time card. And then I won the whole thing. I knew they were pressuring you because they asked me more than once. I mean, it wasn't pressure. but it was annoying yeah i just kept going remember when you said it's optional it's optional but

this doesn't feel optional yeah we'll only explain to you why yeah you're different you got it while still not saying it's not optional you know what i mean uh-huh it was never like well no you don't have to do it we're just never going to stop asking yeah yeah yeah and you like that right yeah you're having fun yeah i did my favorite part about last laugh was blame winning and then calling him the funniest person at roosties for yeah that was that was pretty good good. That was very good. He earned that right. He earned it. I feel like he didn't like it that

much stuff. I don't know why. It's really weird when you would say that and then he would close up a medium. He would hide in a closet somewhere. He's already hiding in a closet about something else. He's like, great. Now I have to find another closet in this closet. He's built an attic into the closet.

Did you check the double closet? He was lucky there wasn't a season three because he we had to go on the floorboards. Ground is tough here. You got to blow it up. You got to blow it up. I really like the fans who thought we invented that show. That was pretty cool.

Wow, look at this. Amazon ripping off rooster teeth. Because then they would see the concept that everyone else was doing. Yes. That we also stole. And then and be like, wow, I can't believe they ripped off rooster teeth.

And then it was, I'm sure, people going, I'm pretty sure of rooster teeth ripped this person. You mean it was people going, What the fuck is rooster tea? Yeah. And then the British comedians all did a show just like that. And they were like, oh, they're ripping off rooster tea.

A company that still exists. It's a pretty simple premise. It's like not that head scratching, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's like hot ones. It's like quiet library. You could just do it. Yeah, you can just do it. You're talking about 100% heat?

I am. Very different. Think about it. Nobody named Hot Ones, better not done rip us off. And if they do, I'm sure people will be commenting. I can't believe they stole this. Oh, I'm sure our fans will, but it'll be funny. Yeah, they'll be.

Our fans will do it. It will be very funny. The second, this guy kind of reminds me of like a Gracie type. Speaking of which, we almost got hit. Gracie has better questions. Speaking to which, we were right here when we almost got hit by that car. Oh, that's cool. It was not only the car, but the fair.

I wasn't there for that. Oh, was Gracie looking at the fair? Is that way? No. She was looking in the rear rear mirror at a van that she was talking about. It was a cool new van. As she started drifting lanes. Like a van electric.

She was like, ooh, that's cool. She said that's cool as we passed it, then kept looking at it. She was staring at it. It started drifting. That's pretty exciting. Keep in mind. Stone cold sober. Right.

The only one. She had two die cogs. She did. But then she had to hunt Eric down. But then she had to hunt Eric down. I think she was drunk on fortunes. Beep. She was power-happ.

And we had to, like, tone her down a little bit. She wanted to blast you when you were in the garage. Yeah, she did. Pulling in so you could park. Ask her not to do that and to, is it okay if I just park here? Yeah, in the street. You're half in the fucking street. No, I'm not.

Yeah, you are. Her car was blocking the street. She was parked behind you and you were in the driveway. It's not a, it's not a two-length car driveway. This is good, right? She was started at the sidewalk, so that means more than half the car was out. Incredible. Can I just leave it here?

I re-watched that, quality control. And I was like, I don't think you can leave it here. Not here specifically. Oh, man. What? She was having fun. Yeah, she was. I'm so glad we're not going that way.

I haven't watched the episode yet. I don't, yeah. I can't wait to see your aim. Did you not even have to do even when little bit? I'm sure it was minimal. I don't think I've, I haven't switched off the master track in a long time. Let me tell you, the first 30 minutes of that are just off the master track. Now we had this conversation forever ago.

Where would you put that one on a scale of 1 to 10 of difficulty? Uh, oh, that's a good- Is that the new 10? Because you said the average is like, like a 3 or 4? Yeah, an average episode? Sure. Um, this one was an 8. Wow. She just like-

Guys, let's stop somewhere And get something to get Eric Likes to crinkle things. No shit Why would you put your cones out of that far? Yeah, what's this good doing it? You don't have to do it that far. Yeah, that's crazy Put it in the fucking lane, dude That's what he did That was nuts The whole lane

My lane now Don't even come up? Don't even come close to me Is he selling stuff below for it? Oh He said we're selling a car We should pull over and mess with it. He's selling a car or cones? I'm not sure, but yeah, dude, we should go to a store Shut up It's almost 8 o'clock at night It's already late

We need to do this fucking episode Dark as fuck out It's high key She was in play mode She got to PF Chang's She was further than play mode Yeah She was mad that we had to do

Oh she was so mad The stuff in the episode Somebody posed a picture of her face When we insist on reading The facts She is She was not She's not happy.

She really was. She's like, she gets, it's not like a base level of anger with it. She gets angrier, angrier every single episode. Yeah. And so it's finally like reaching a breaking. It's reaching a boiling point. She was just done with it. I kept saying in the episode, I'm like, we haven't done you review.

You like that one. And then she went, we'll skip this other shit. Yeah. Damn. She kept taking Jordan's paper. I know. Yeah, we really cycled around on the paper. I think I ended with Eric's.

Yeah. But then her, I think her new favorite part is at the end, you get to throw the papers. Yeah. That seems to be something that really, like, kind of like, keys her in. She's right. And she also, I think, like, like, she forgets that it happens every single time. Uh-huh. And it's like, what's going on now?

We're throwing? It's always interesting, the stuff after the Gracie episode, when we get together the next time, of, like, what's the stuff that's going to stand out to us? Man. What were your Gracie notes? Yeah. What did you write down? I liked when we were leaving P.F. Chang's, and I wanted Eric to film me taking a fucked on a fortune cookies.

Yeah. She flinched. Scoot over. What? She's like, ah, oh. I didn't know what you were going to do. I was attack you on the list? Now that dinner is done, we're going to, I'm going to kill this restaurant. Yeah, in front of everyone.

She literally was like, oh, what's it? And then you just, crap. It was just like four hand pulled. That video will be up by the time. this is out the video is up on YouTube and everything, but it's like a four-part YouTube short saga of Gracie getting fortune cookies. And she was thrilled with every part.

Yeah. She loved every part of it. Except the fortunes. Yeah, uh, yeah. She was not happy with the fortunes. No. She was pretty lame. She was happy with the one.

She wasn't told she was going to be a doctor. Yeah. Well, the first one was the first one, no fortune. That was crazy. Yeah. That sucks. Do you can hear I just watched that. Yeah. You can hear us go,

uh, when she opens it. Well, I think we know it's so detrimental for her. For sure. None of us felt that way. No. Felt her feeling that. Right.

Yeah. Real empathic. Nick was empathing and she was still trying to figure out exactly what Inception is and who is in it and what it's about and what takes place. She's seen it. Is that his thing? The Spinney thing. In the save? In the save, that's his.

That's his. God damn it. Oh, and she said, I haven't seen it forever. I see it forever. I haven't seen it since last year. Yeah, that's what she said. Yeah, not since it originally came out last year. And you forgot the entire plot of the film?

Pretty incredible. This is the longest this arrows ever. I've never been able to. It's trying to cut us a break. I was ready to be pissed at this car for like, tricking so long. You know what? We pissed anyway. Yeah.

Just redirected somewhere else. I'm going to do Greases. Nick? Graces. Graces. I went to the fucking DMV today. If I finally renewed my license? Hell yeah.

Street legal minutes, dude. Damn, dude, so fucking fast. Even in the middle of the day, that's impressive. Yeah. Because last time I did it, I was like, I'm getting like first thing. Yeah. First appointment I can get and be there like first person so I can like, so there's no like backlog in front of me.

No fuck around shit. Yeah. Damn, that's cool. I got there, checked in. I had to fill out the form because I didn't fill out. And they don't tell you. Yeah. But it killed time anyway because they didn't call my number yet.

Literally, like, I had like two things left to fill out when they called my number. Oh, wow. That was about 10 minutes. Damn. Eight, 10 minutes filling that out and waiting for the, for me to be called. And then 10 minutes, like, to process it. Wild. Thank God I passed my eye exam.

So I had to take another one. Was there, I exam. Eye exam is she holds up a single, like, thing in her hand. And it's like, read this line. Now with the other eye. All right, you're good. That's it. Wow.

Literally on the address. And it would. not near the bottom good enough it was like maybe halfway well you can see I don't care whatever you can sort of see something it's fine you're good shapes are the important yeah you know what shape of stop sign yeah you know shape of stop sign you know shape of car it's not big deal she didn't even ask me if I knew shape of car oh no I don't know that I know shape of car they need to ask you if you know shape of car I would have a triangle oh no that's not shape of car oh no that's not

I'm already out. That worked out until 2033. Take it from me. I dare you. Well, that worked out that you got your license renewed. Everything's done. It did work out. Everything's great.

I'm done with everything forever. Yeah. Never have to do it. No more problems. No nothing ever again. Honestly? Is this what smooth sailing feels like? Is that, hey.

Hey, is that what it feels like? Is this a bliss? Is it? Am I playing Minecraft? Right, are you at your center? Yeah, I feel like I am. Oh, you found your way back. Oh my god.

Nian, you always go back to them. Is this like a one meter square? This is crazy. This is bull-ins. I'm just stacking blocks. Living life. All the way to the sky. And then I'm gonna walk off.

Yeah. Oh, I thought there was water below me. Oh, no. We have fun. We do have fun. I can't believe Nick killed that bird. Tor to shreds. Oh, man.

Lim from limb. The bird isn't just dead. It's like eviscerated. To shreds, you say. To shreds, you say. How's his wife? To shreds, you say. Oh, well.

Is he eat some safe. Sandwiches? Oh, right. Are you ready to eat the smell? Jordan, are you ready to eat the smell? I feel like I've already eaten. Holly. Holly.

I'm so hungry. Holly, it's not. She's already turned to them. No. Yeah, you were fast enough. No. This is when the video comes back. Not yet.

We're not on the garage. Yeah, but I mean, you know. We, the video comes back, but Holly doesn't. Yeah. Right, yeah. When somebody turns the video off, they rarely come back. Hey, exciting update for the audience. We just bought.

an Xbox for the house, a series X so we can play Arc Raiders. Yep. Jordan approved it. Jordan did approve it. Well, I mean, it hasn't been approved yet. After he was outlawed. Somebody owes the company $84. I heard there was some kind of deal. Who, Alfredo? He said something, something couch tax? Oh, damn. He said that? Yeah, he said he wanted to swindle back. Swindle back. Damn. He almost never paid us. And now he's collecting his interest. All right, boys.

You ready to have a... Oh, no. Uh-oh. What? There's some Oju spill. It's just leaking. There's some Oju spill going on in here. Oh.

Oju-car. No, there's not. Oh, dear. That's not bad at all. For how much liquids in there? That was sideways. It was your reckless time. Yeah, I think it was that one.

Okay. Okay. Oh, they have an interesting smell. Yeah. I'm talking about it. the whole thing yeah what do you think it's talking about the au jude this time how can you smell it that's still in there because it's all over that napkin yeah oh you have a side pickle nick oh pickle nick just get all mediums pickle nick jordan very clearly wanted a small yeah but we can

the other half can be for nick i see there there it is my half and your half wow look at it wow what kind of meat is that gray gray is gray could be ah the gray man well well well you know how this is you already seen the episode so quick jordan throw the sandwich at the wall no my sandwich you give me the sandwich so i can throw it at the wall no give it to him give me the sandwich and i won't throw it at the wall yes give him the sandwich give him the sandwich