100% Eat - Olive Garden Amazing Alfredos

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Olive Garden Amazing Alfredos Steak Alfredo so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about drinking a whole bottle of wine, Chris Gaines, and more. Sponsored by G Fuel Get 10% off G FUEL with code AH at checkout at https://gfuel.ly/GitGud. Also sponsored by HelloFresh. Go to http://hellofresh.com/facejam80 and use code facejam80 to get a total of $80 off, including free shipping on your first box! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation foo-foo to let you know if you need it, and you probably do do, thanks to G Fuel for making this show possible. That's right, G Fuel, we're here because of them. We're still going because of them. Thank you, G Fuel. going because of them thank you g fuel when no one believed in us g fuel did they they lifted us up out of the trenches and they are our protectors and our saviors thank you g fuel i'm your host michael jones alongside my co-host jordan sweers jordan how are you i was wondering why there was only one set of prints in the sand but then i realized that was when g fuel carried us whoa i was wondering where you were going with that and it turned out beautiful. I love it. G Fuel, I'll just say right now,

the most Christ-like of all the drinks that you could have as a gamer. That's all. And you can hear more about G Fuel later when we have the sponsor piece. I'm just letting you know how I feel about them up front. I'm floating, dude. Maybe it's on the fuel.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just excited that someone believes in us but you know today's a pretty good day and they said it couldn't be done they said it couldn't be they said they said no one believed in us the people who sell the ad said no it cannot be done they said it can't be done and we won't do it is what they said again and again doors just slammed in our faces okay we'll try and then lo and behold and speaking of trying today we tried olive garden's amazing alfredo's steak alfredo i've just read what's on the paper that's it that's what it is steak alfredo it was silence and giggles you know it's like we're talking about trying to get a sponsor again. Just silence and giggles.

Truly amazing. That was like a butthead laugh. That sounded like butthead was a ghost in another room. Bye. Oh, boy. Quiet. Oh, boy. Yeah. We ate the Olive Garden. i feel like it's slowing me down it's already hitting me yeah all that past it's too much past and too much steak i was feeling well it was only

six ounces i wouldn't say it was too much that's a small portion jordan okay too much steak and pasta okay all right we'll give you that kind of a combo deal when you eat it in four minutes it feels like a lot okay so what happened because you messaged us you sent a picture uh-huh from outside of the olive garden uh-huh okay that's fine uh actually when when we went to go pick up food when i went jordan actually pulled up alongside of me and it was like oh what a fun coincidence we both picked up our food we got it and then we drove home and then we ate and we got on our call service here uh and we ate and talked and whatever and we were going like where's michael this is weird you posted a picture and then you're like you alluded to eating it all in the parking

you said i hope you took a picture of the food because i already ate it yeah i was about three bites from the end and i thought oh i didn't take a picture what the fuck why did you eat it in the parking lot? You said, I hope you took a picture of the food because I already ate it. Yeah, I was about three bites from the end and I thought, uh-oh, I didn't take a picture. What the fuck? Why did you eat it in the parking lot? Well, it's further for me than you guys and I didn't want to eat cold steak. Did you go to the one on Burnett? Yeah. That is a bit further for Michael. It's a 20-minute drive. I don't want to eat steak 20 minutes after

I got home. I get in. See, the other thing, you don't realize, I got a kid barrier. It was a 20-minute drive for me. I got a kid barrier. I walk in and then I got to fight I get in. See, the other thing you don't realize, I got a kid barrier. A roughly 20 minute drive for me. I got a kid barrier. I walk in and then I got to fight kids for 15 minutes. You're talking about a 40 minute wait for me to eat that food. So here's what I did. I ordered it online. Ordered it like first thing this morning, nine o'clock this morning.

Made it for a two o'clock pickup. Got there at 158. Supposed to call the number. Didn't even have to call the number because other people were there swarming. You know, they were like family. They were getting Olive Garden. And there was a woman outside already doing the curbside drop off. And she said, hey, you, you got food?

And I said, yeah. So she said, I'll go get it. So I got the food. And then I immediately pulled out of the to-go parking and drove around the side of the building to the permanent parking. Because I wanted to take a picture in front of the sign. So I got out. I took a picture in front of the to-go parking and drove around the side of the building to the permanent parking because i wanted to take a picture in front of the sign uh-huh so i got out i took a picture in front of the sign i sat down i popped that bad boy open and i ripped through it i mean like i took that picture there was no time in between either that wasn't like a delay i took the picture i got in my car i ate the food and then i said oh i ate it and it was about four

minutes let me look at the timestamps so I can. It was really wild. Like, we just went like, did he eat the food? Is he talking about eating the food in the parking lot? I would have loved to eat with you guys. But then you said, yeah, but it's okay because you had breadsticks to eat on the drive home. Well, yeah, I thought you might be concerned like, oh, no, he ate all his food. He's still hungry.

I did order a side of breadsticks. I was concerned because you ate that food in four minutes in a parking lot. It's a five minute time difference on the timestamps. And you got to imagine there's some delay between it happening and me getting the information. Yeah, he's got to type it out. So I imagine it was probably about four minutes. I checked out. I ordered, you know, the alfredo that we agreed upon and

then i went i don't want nothing else and then i went to check out and they said you want bread bread sticks and i said yeah i want bread sticks i didn't think i'd get six of them they were huge i ate four interesting there's a lot those things are fucking big and they're salty as shit they are so salty i watched this video the other day from some website that you guys probably haven't heard of and it had these these people arguing about what's better uh breadsticks or the red lobster chitterbay biscuits and they're like really mad about it like yeah i think i've seen that yeah i think that was pretty funny i thought the drawings were a little weird what's going on but it seems telling a

story yeah well i'm also finding it hard to concentrate because you just opened a bottle of wine and poured it into a cup well i went to olive garden did you buy the wine did they also ask if you wanted wine i thought well i needed a syrup side i thought i'd enjoy it throughout the episode also you poured half that bottle in the rooties cup you poured half a bottle of olive garden wine into a rooties cup it's a big rooties cup though it's not a small it's a large just so you know oh boy i thought i'd get a cup i was thinking on the drive home how i would drink the wine and i was gonna just drink it out of the bottle but then the airflow would be restricted it'd be too hard to drink and i thought it doesn't get a chance to aerate it doesn't get a chance i thought what's a good representation of the quality of this wine

big ruby's cup so that's what i got like that's a lot there you go oh that's it that's the one right there all right i knew you wanted it er Eric took his phone out and he looked thirsty. So I get, that's the, and he wasn't, he wasn't thirsty for wine. I tell you that. What a reveal.

What a reveal. It just, Oh, wow. I also perused the, the wine and beer section. Yeah. Here's the one section white and red.

That's the one section. There's a lot of wine section. White and red. That's the wine section. There's a lot of wine options. And then like a six pack of Bud Light and like you can get a Miller Lite. They ID'd me. She was like, before I give you this, let me see some identification. Wow, really? Yeah. Wow.

They said that's the policy for curbside. You can't have kids rolling up, grabbing wine and getting thrashed. Oh boy. I can't wait for a curbs side review later of the white wine. Yeah. You're going to see it happening in my eyes throughout the entire episode. I'm going to hear it halfway through the facts section. I'm excited.

Anyway, I brought up the video because I wanted to have a discussion about the breadsticks because putting aside the debate of Cheddar Bay Biscuits versus the breadsticks, the breadsticks because you know putting aside the the debate of cheddar bay biscuits versus the breadsticks the breadsticks as they stand are very very good they're good and i think we can all agree that the breadsticks are very very good and probably the best thing at olive garden it's possible and i agree with that it is i think they is doused in salt and butter and whatever garlic powder, garlic cheese powder. I don't know. But if you ignore what it's made of or how bad it is for you, it is good. I'd like you to go in an Olive Garden and say, these are bad breadsticks.

I mean, everything in there is going to kill you. Yeah, you get beat up. And aren't they? Well, they're not not you can usually order them unlimited right there's usually some sort of unlimited option it's crazy it's like five dollars do you think they just keep them going in the back like they're just constantly making the breadsticks they must right just to keep the hungry people fed dude I ate that food and I opened opened it up. And I went. Holy shit. There's six breadsticks in here.

I'm barely going to eat one. And then I ate four. And the only reason I didn't eat another two. Is because I thought. I guess I could. I could give my kid one. So I should savor one. Well that would. That would satiate them.

When you have to fight them. That's what happens. When they start screaming. That takes like five minutes. And that's when you put the food in their mouth. Dad. And they're good dry. Because I honestly. I didn't when you put the food in their mouth. Dad. And they're good dry. Because I honestly, I didn't want to get a mess in the car.

I was eating it. I was eating the breadsticks while I was driving. But then by the time I got home, I forgot they gave me the sauce. And I got, there was some kind of six cheese or three cheese marinara sauce, which was quite delicious. But it doesn't even need them. It really doesn't need them. It really doesn't. They're good.

They're good breadsticks, man. And they are better than the cheddar bay biscuits yeah whoa bold claim it's you know it's what you're in the mood for tastes change over year over over time over years over your time i'd like to see those two people whoever they were debate again and see if they still agree to disagree. Or maybe they've switched sides. What do you think, Michael? Who's to say? I'm not them. Maybe they were like ships crossing in the night and they've zigzagged.

Classic ship maneuver. Classic ship maneuver. You see a ship, I turn left and then hopefully they turn right. And then they crash into each other. What the fuck are we talking about? Ships. Pay attention. Talking about breadsticks. You brought it up. right and then they crash into each other what the fuck are we talking about ships pay attention talking about breadsticks you brought it up jeez like the metaphor got lost uh here's the thing about that are we still are we

still pretending that michael isn't the guy in the video i don't know what you're talking about i'm half the people we also it's good for us though that whole conversation had to do with the restaurant that the episode's actually about. Mm-hmm. I feel like we're vibing. We're staying on topic for a while. That's all on topic. I think G Fuel helped us get there.

And it's helping us stay here. It's great for Extreme Focus, which, again, you'll find out more about in the sponsor section of this episode. I'm going to lose my focus as this comes. Ooh, mix some G Fuel in that and see what happens. This is the last thing I'm doing today. Right. I've got a 4 p.m nap coming on oh boy that bed's right behind me i'm gonna crawl into it crawling from the foot of the bed and then oh yeah dude yep it's tough it's a tall bed i might not make it do you got have you guys been to olive garden a lot is it like a restaurant that you're like i freak frequented Olive Garden?

In my family, yes. I have vast experience with Olive Garden. And that's probably why I lean breadsticks more than anything. I could probably argue that the Cheddar Bay Biscuits are a better product. But when I bite into an Olive Garden breadstick, I'm getting so much more than just the salt and the bread. I'm getting nostalgia. I'm getting, you know, family dinners. I'm getting post-eighth grade graduation celebration.

Wow. Which is something you want? I'm not saying that I want that. I'm saying when I bite into a Cheddar Baby Biscuit, I'm not getting that I want that. I'm saying when I bite into a Cheddar Baby biscuit, I'm not getting that. You said it's good, though. So you want it, right? So sometimes people eating in Olive Garden

start screaming, it's happening again. It's great again. And the waiters have to come back and shake them. I thought it'd be better. Stop, I don't want to go back. They're like, put down the breadstick anyway it does it does inform like you know like when you go to places a lot as as a child with your family it does sometimes for better or worse set you on a path of being more familiar and kind

of stuck with those tastes as you as you get older because you know i don't go to olive garden all the time but like if if there's one around and there's no other place to go it's like between that and some other restaurant be like ah the tried and true from my childhood i'll go to olive garden and whether or not that's a blessing or a curse you know we'll leave to the psychoanalysts. But that's just how it is. I mean, to be fair, Garth Brooks has said, every blessing is a curse.

Was that Garth Brooks or the other guy? I was waiting for you to tie that into Olive Garden. No, no, no, that's it. I just wanted to let you know what Garth Brooks says. Who was the other guy? What was his name? Chris Gaines. Oh, I was going to say Ken Rogers. What? No, what? Ken Rogers? who was the other guy what was his name chris gaines oh i was gonna say i was gonna say ken

rogers and i was wrong what no what why not you know made up like chris gaines what a stupid made up name chris gaines it was a great idea was it yeah because he did this he went i want to do pop music i'm gonna create a persona he's australian and then he made this whole album and there was did you know there was supposed to be a movie no what kind of that was that was the point of the whole thing but they never made the movie so he just looks like a full-blown fucking psychopath awesome i love it every blessing is a curse i feel like it was an odd mood coming from someone who was pretty successful. He's like the number one artist of the 90s. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Especially when he did that. It seems like the move of a crazy person who's flailing and drowning in water. And he was just like, why not? Is it that different? And I'm asking genuinely because other artists have done other personas like Ziggy Stardust and Sasha Fierce and stuff. Like, how is that different than what he was doing? What's different is that he went into a totally different genre of music. He went away from country, the thing that was his bread and butter that made him like

billions of dollars was it and then he just went i'm doing this other thing i'm australian too what the fuck was he trying to like trick everyone i have he was trying to get a movie made the secret was out because the internet was was popping by then so people were on to him they said wait a minute hey i know who you are also to back it up i don't know that it's not crazy for anyone to do that you want to change your name and say i'm not garth brooks anymore i'm chris gaines sure i don't understand being two people i just don't get why didn't he just make a pop album why did i have to do all this other shit yeah i get you be garth brooks doing something else i mean i understand people you know changing like, I don't do this.

Or like, you know, like Pink was like, no, that's I'm not doing that anymore. Or Kesha. It's like, no, I'm not dropping that dollar sign. But yeah, not becoming multiple people. That just seems like work. It's a lot of work being one people. I don't want to be multiple people. You know what it comes down to?

He was bored, I bet. I mean, I'm sure he was rich and bored. mean that's that's probably a good bet he just got bored uh but this show isn't about garth brooks or chris gaines no but it can be though we should make maybe a new podcast idea the chris gaines story um more like chris losses am i right guys all right nick you just added in some laughter there it'll be fine you're fine i think i think you got the appropriate amount um i want to start shrugging a groan i want to start a new uh brief segment before we get too much further into the episode oh uh i'm talking about vans we don't have a van that's also not all right and that segment at all that concludes the van segment okay this is i think the third or fourth segment if that's the

amount of time we're going to devote to that segment i'm fine with it where it's just every two weeks i go we don't have one no and then that's it that wasn't the perfect setup here's why i'm upset people are messaging us they're messaging face jam pod and i see a lot of people saying hey guys i don't know if you have a van yet but and they're giving us leads eric's not looking he's not trying yeah he's not even just sitting he's just sitting there doing nothing i can't i can't get a van i can't i don't have any money you can do it we got g fuel the only lead that's gonna work is not like here's a van i found try buying that it needs to be here's this van you can have that's the only that's the only thing that's really gonna have any hits from

any famous van rental companies yeah no no famous van rental companies have told but one guy said i have a 99 like a 99 aero star if you want it i will say that's what jordan's talking about yeah no because if we get a 99 aero star you're gonna look at that thing and be like not the mercedes sprinter van i was hoping right but i'll settle that you gotta have high standards 99 yeah but you gotta have high standards and then you get less and then say, okay, I can compromise. Eric, now soup it up. And, you know,

put all the nice stuff in it. I don't have any money to put any nice stuff in anything. Somebody sent us a police auction site. Oh, that's cute. If somebody got murdered in a van, we get our bullshit. Yeah, there was a van for sale.

It was about $5,000. The one they sent us is, it's really close by. It's in Iowa City. What the fuck? So, you know, just quick. Drive with a friend, and then when he drives,

they'll be back. Yeah. Nick can drive the car back. We can't get them at the same time. I don't know anyone else, so I'm not doing it. I know Jordan's not doing it. Eric and Nick, this is your guys' project. So we have to go buy a murder van and then trick it out?

Just take the seats out or move them around and put a table. Move them around. If you get a van that was used for smuggling either drugs or people, it's probably already pretty customized. Yeah, you know, don't make a face at me. People hide people in cars and shit where you remove the seat and someone's hiding on the inside of the seat or something. If you get one of those vans, it's halfway to what we need for.

We can hide Nick in the seat while we do the podcast and he can giggle from inside the seat. Then he can be close for a lot of volume. we don't even need to muffle him yeah we don't need to put a mask on is there a man in there yeah but he's the audio engineer don't worry about it he's fine we got we put holes in it he can breathe well we don't have a van anyway all right that concludes talking about okay um podcast time back to the show olive garden is what we ate some of us ate it in our cars and others drove home and ate with friends what's your take on olive garden michael uh so i i've been there a lot enough i didn't frequent it quite

nearly as much as you seem to have but i've been there a number of times. As we've mentioned before on this podcast, I was definitely more of an Applebee's Fridays person than Olive Garden. However, I also grew up in New Jersey, so I was riddled with Italian food in every direction. So Olive Garden was kind of like an extra joke. Olive Garden was kind of like an extra joke where I was from.

I was like, yeah, let's go to Olive Garden. Cool. But it's fine of like an extra joke where i was from i'm like yeah let's go to olive garden cool but it's fine i mean i'll eat it i'll wolf it down you know my standards on that one it's food in front of me i'm gonna eat it it's good dude they they butter it up you know i think i think olive garden to me is you know in a similar vein of of fridays it's probably standard mediocre food that they dump a shitload of butter and sauce and herbs and spices on which i'm fine with they're not you know they don't have amazing pasta if you had it without the all the added death and fat it would probably taste like crap but they do have it so i don't care i gotta say the uh the spices and all the shit they dump on it really comes through five to ten minutes after you've finished eating it

and it's all you can taste yeah my mouth god i want i want to rip my tongue out and like scrub it clean is that a good memory or no this is one of the bad ones a great graduation it's fine this is where it's this is where it's turning then when jordan gets home he remembers when he got home from his graduation and it was awful he's built and he spent the night hugging the toilet bowl is olive garden just that restaurant that it's like safe to take grandma to and that's sort of like what that's like dude that's sort of like it's lane yeah while i was there uh leaving after i had eaten my food in silence um i was driving away and i watched a family pull up and park and they were wearing masks the people that got out but they were helping it was in one of those like vans that That's like a handicap van. They were helping out.

I assume elderly like grandmother to wheel her out, to take her inside to eat at Olive Garden. And I was like, just don't go in. Don't go in. That's what Eric and I were talking about. We were in Austin. We were waiting for our food.

And so many people were just walking into the restaurant being like, I got to go eat in the dining room. Yep, they're open. Here's what happened. We were next to each other. Nice. Oh, wow. That's the whole thing! Mikey's gonna eat. He's gonna

drink this whole bottle of wine. Oh, boy. He's not gonna get to fact four. Guys, sit still. We were parked next to each other. Our windows are down. And we're just going like, yeah, okay, waiting for this curbside. Ha ha, it's funny. We're parked next to each other.

And Jordan just goes, I don't know what kind of fucking people come here and wear masks and then go inside to eat. These people are crazy. And then there are two people that were three feet away from him sitting on a bench wearing masks waiting to go in and one guy got up and walked away. Whoa. It worked. I saved his life. Oh, man.

It was something. Olive Garden. Poor grandma, though. Did you guys go to the one in Burnett? Yeah. What time did you get there? 1.30. Oh, okay.

It was pretty crowded, man. It was fucking packed. It was crowded for all the people parked not in to go. I pulled in and went, holy shit. To go was crowded. Why? I mean, to go was crowded, but to go, you know, people clearly feared for their lives. But I pulled up, I saw all the regular parking spaces filled, and I said, these people got

nothing to lose. Mm-hmm. They're just- Nothing to gain apparently, too. I just I pulled on my windows I started screaming you're not invincible just get it to go just eat it in your car it tastes the same that same guy who was mad at Jordan heard you and he just went why twice yeah they make it in the kitchen

they bring it out it's the same food eat it in your car live I just want to eat all of them why is everybody yelling at me oh man it's worse than ever now man yep it really is doing well what's what are we doing we're taking grandma out to eat yeah i'm not no you can make anything feel normal with enough time so you know it's been we're on what month four yeah but it's worse than ever but we've waited long enough yeah but i think i'm done that works i'm bored right and it's really bad outside yeah but haven't been to a denny's in a while all right cool i read

yesterday that if florida were a country it would be the fourth highest country of cases. Yep. Jesus Christ. USA. USA. USA. Fuck, dude. Yesterday they had, I think, deaths that would put them 10th overall if they were their own country.

We should just make them their own country just for the stats, dude. Disney World is open. It's fine. their own country yeah we should just make them you know country just for the stats dude disney world is open it's fine that lady did you guys see the the people who were like streaming from disney world yep and we're like yeah she was really sick yesterday and like oh my god coughing and stuff but it's fine nothing's gonna keep us from disney World. Oh, no. Oh, no is right. Oh, no. Anyway, this is what the pandemic is like in America. For all of our foreign listeners who don't know what Olive Garden is.

Yeah, for everyone that goes, I don't have an Olive Garden. Good. You probably don't have people beating down the doors to get in. Let me in. I'll breathe on the glass until you let me in if we if we did contract contact tracing i bet we would find that like everybody who's had it went to a an olive garden and it's actually the epicenter hey hey there jammers this is exciting we're going to talk about our sponsor for this episode, G Fuel. Jordan, how are you doing?

How do you feel about G Fuel? Man, I feel pretty good about G Fuel, but I mean, overall, I feel like, I don't know. I'm trying to be eSports, and I'm just lacking, like, my performance and and my focus is low and i just don't know serious yeah i'm like fuel is it's design help support performance energy and extreme focus it's also the official it's the official energy drink of esports oh my god this is like like literally what you just asked for and it's here it's a match made in heaven it is a match made in heaven i can finally get to silver three just like aoc angels are singing and you're here okay they're like drink the chief they truly did carry us on the beach didn't they they carried us dude and i you

know what i'm fine being carried walking's hard so i just let G Fuel do the work. I like the tropical rain flavor because it makes me think that I'm on a beach and that I'm someone important where I can afford to go to the beach. To me, the beach is, you know, like the Jersey Shore and you're walking under the boardwalk and people are doing drugs

or they're, you know, up to nefarious deeds. We have really different ideas about the beach when we think of the beach well this is like i'm not i'm not thinking i was there uh you know it's like oh hypodermic needle watch out the tropical rain makes me think bahama is like oh shit this is the real you just leave all that behind man you're sipping you're chilling you know g fuel's there you know i'm tired g fuel goes g feels a sentient creature at this point by the way and they say i'll carry you to bed and i go yeah dude carry me be my guest i

think i'm gonna try moon pie they have a moon pie flavor that's what i'm looking for they have a lot of flavors wow if you think of a flavor g fuel probably has it moon pie is also my favorite streamer so this works out really well and i don't think that's a streamer but that's it could be though is that jordan's alter ego good if you if you follow moon pie on twitch it's really jordan hey i'm sorry i just outed you if you if you watch a cheap monitor that's a popular a gaming brand i've heard of them but like i don't really like i don't like the people in it i used to like it but they started they started hiring people that i didn't like there's too many loud people there's that one guy that one guy who left he's

pretty good he was good he was super good um but they're doing a valorant get good series which is where you get good you say you have this game and you're bad at the game so you get good at it you drink your G Fuel you focus up and then you're great you go play esports win a million dollars

and you say wow good thing I won a million dollars thanks to Achievement Hunter's Get Good and G Fuel done talk about the dream team he thought Face Jam and G Fuel was the dream team and then just when you're there thinking of Achievement Hunter's Get Good and G Fuel. Dang. Talk about the dream team. That's awesome. You thought Face Jam and G Fuel was the dream team. And then just when you're there, thinking of Achievement Hunter,

Valorant, Get Good, and G Fuel, and a million dollars, and how happy you are, just think Face Jam as well. We didn't have anything to do with it, but if you could include us, just maybe like on the podium, that would be sweet.

That'd be cool. You're just like, I want to thank my mom and face jam they really helped pull me through i mean really it it doesn't even have to be esports like you don't have to win an esports tournament to thank us you can just anytime you have a public speech anytime you win an accommodation like anything that you're any time you crowd you graduate eighth grade just just thank Face Jam. Thank Face Jam.

I did that. Thank G Fuel. I did that. Yeah, and you didn't thank us. No, it was 2004, and for some reason I felt compelled to thank Face Jam. You knew the year that quickly? Yeah, that's weird.

That's weird. I'm guessing. Sure, sure, sure. Hey, Michael, here's the thing about G Fuel. I think it's really great and i love that there's five grams of carbs and no sugar and it's keto friendly but is there a way that i can save money when i buy it you can save money right now eric you can get 10 off g fuel with code ah at checkout at g fuel dot ly slash get good that's g-i-t-g- g u d because achievement hunter is really smart like that

they're really cool they're really hip and with it and that's how the kids spell it you gotta spell words different you gotta spell it different otherwise you know people go that's how that's how you normally spell it that's how dad spells so that's g fuel dot l y slash get good g i t g u d and you use code a h that one's easy that's just two letters you get 10% yeah yeah exactly you go ah now i'm good at video games because i got g fuel i got face jam what else do i need maybe achievement hunter it's optional it's not you don't have to watch achievement hunter to use the code okay you can actively dislike them and use the code that's fine that's what I'm gonna do

just pretend when you type AH you're actually typing FJ pull the keys off your keyboard and put the F where the A is and the J where the H is and then you say I used code FJ for me anyway in my heart

now I'm going back to the beach time to take a nap H is. And then you say, I used code FJ for me anyway. In my heart. Yeah. Now I'm going back to the beach. Time to take a nap. I'm going to go get good at eSports. I'm going to be eSports king. I'm going to try not to drown on the beach. Let's move on. Let's get into some facts.'s get into some facts all right write this shit fact number one the very first olive garden was opened in 1982 by general mills in orlando florida

with the idea that it would franchise immediately a lot of restaurants open and it's just like a mom-and-pop thing and then what happens it booms people buy it a big company comes in they franchise it not so for olive garden full-on franchise from day one so this is said this is all just a huge like investment project by general mills isn't that crazy why general mills were they thinking? I think they just went like, I don't think there's like a fast Italian thing. And they went, well, let's fucking do it. And then they made a bunch of money. We got oats and grains and Italian food.

Yeah, I mean, the only one I know of besides them is Carrabba's is another big one. Yeah. They have them here. But to me, they're a little bit classier. Yeah, definitely. Definitely like at least like a step up. Is that the place where you can color on the tablecloth?

If you're a child, they give you crayons? It's possible. You can color on a tablecloth anywhere. Are they giving you crayons? Are they giving you crayons? I just saw it in a commercial. I've never been to a Carrabba's. You saw it in a commercial?

I cannot corroborate that. Oh, fuck. Hey-o. Olive Garden and Red Lobster opened six combination restaurants that weirdly didn't work out and closed after three years. Goodbye, Lobster Garden, home of a food I am imagining called Lobsterzania, which is a lasagna made by a lobster. Wait.

It's got to be made by a lobster? Uh- gonna be made by a lobster uh-huh eric that's the twist you think it's just gonna be lobster lasagna no that would be lobster lasagna i'm talking about lobsters on you whoa whoa why man why maybe that's where the whole breadstick cheddar biscuit debate started they used to be friends yeah that's what i'm thinking too cheddar biscuit debate started. They used to be friends. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking too because I didn't know that they were combination restaurants. There were only six of them. They were owned by the same company. There were only six. General Mills.

If you look at – no, it was a company called Darden Foods. Very weird. Don't name. That's why it's – He said Darden. That's it. Darden Foods. So it was – if you look at a picture, I'll find a picture and I'll send it to you guys later.

It is, imagine a big long restaurant. On the outside, on the left side, there is a Red Lobster logo. In the middle, there is just sort of like a brownish brick building. And then on the right side is just like an Olive Garden logo. Tell me it doesn't. Two distinct entrances and it shared one kitchen. Oh, that's fucking weird. That seems like a recipe for disaster and cross-contamination.

Like I got pasta in my surf and turf. This lobster isn't cooking my ravioli. Think about it. Kill him and I'll eat him. You know, solve the problem. I'll eat him you know solve the problem kill the chef um i was just i was just imagining it looked like a like combination pizza hut taco bell or that i wanted that to be that makes sense yeah that would have been fucking great but it's not unfortunately

did you know olive garden's current slogan is, We're all family here because I had no idea, and they've been using it since 2013, so what the fuck is going on? I feel like at this point... I thought it was still when you're here, you're family. Well, I think at this point, fast food companies, especially, I mean, anybody really has a slogan, but fast food companies especially, they've got lifetime rights to it, right?

Like they've won. They have that. Might as well have a second one. Are you ready for where those rights live? Because things happened. You're not going to associate when you're here, your family with Olive Garden? No. So why not change?

It's a freebie at this point. You don't have to keep telling people anymore. Yeah, it's self-sustaining marketing. I'm going to get to it. Stop pointing. You're getting ready to poke me. In 2011, Olive Garden said, we're not going to use

when you're here, your family anymore. Jimmy Fallon said, well, you should keep using it, but if you're not, I'll take it. So the president of Olive Garden went on The Tonight Show and signed it over to him, signed over the rights to Jimmy Fallon. Then in a commercial like a year ago or two years ago for Olive Garden, I think like he signed over the rights to Post Malone. I was going to include all that in the fact sheet. And then I went, none of this is funny.

This fucking sucks. So Post Malone's slogan is, now when you're here, you're family? Post Malone's here. Yeah. At Post Malone's house. When you're around Post Malone, you're family. That's it.

Here's another crazy fact. Has Jimmy Fallon been hosting the Tonight Show since 2011? I was going to say, yeah. Wasn't he still late night there? Where does the time go? 2013, something like that. Awesome. I'm not sure.

Yeah, something like that. It's nuts, isn't it? It is. A little bit. It is nuts. The NeverEnding Pasta Pass is a $100 card that allows you to eat unlimited pasta for eight weeks but does not cover the people you have to trip into going with you

by making it seem like you're quitting the company and those people have to pay for their own pasta and then they realize you're not quitting halfway through the lunch so now everyone is just kind of frustrated and eating ravioli. Ravioli not made by a lobster. That seems inside. What do you mean? Like

just that whole scenario. Was that you? I'm just saying it's a scenario where you could buy the pasta pass. So if you were say hey guys friday's my last day uh-huh do you want to come to olive garden with me and then a bunch of people go whoa friday's your last day i mean i don't ever speak to you or do anything with you or like you that much but it is your last day i've been around you for so many years i I guess, yeah, we'll go with you. Begrudgingly, begrudgingly you would do that. Start paying, just paying,

just oodles of cash for all this overpriced Olive Garden. And then the person there goes, oh, this is all free for me. Today's my last day. And then someone says, huh? And then he says, yeah, it's my last day of the pasta pass, so I got to pay for food after this.

Anyway, see you on Monday. Like, is that the kind of the scenario you're describing? That's a little bit like the scenario. Wow. That's so funny. I know someone who went through that exact same thing. That's crazy. Was it Eric?

I think you know a lot of people that went through that. I think there's a whole group of people that felt like they owed it to a friend who fucking tricked them. I will say, I also, I had a dinner with this person when he had the pasta pass. The pasta pass person. We'll call him Pasta Pete. And it was his friend who also had the pasta pass so it was me and my wife having dinner with these two people and we're the chumps paying for our meal like we paid for the right to like watch them eat their free food yeah yeah and then they at the end they order another entree to go so that they can have leftovers.

You take one with you. It's a good pass. It's a good deal. It is, yeah. But they're over there eating pasta kings, and we're just like pasta peasants. While that dinner took place, did they bombard you with tips and tricks about how to order food at Olive Garden? They were explaining their own little club amongst themselves. Right.

And how to get extra pasta or, or technically you're not allowed to do this, but sometimes they let me have an extra sauce. That's not on the menu because I come here so much. You're really only supposed to get five sauces, but they let me, I've had seven. Everyone at the restaurant knows them. Yeah.

Cause they just keep showing up. When you went, did the waitress come up to them and say, Oh, you brought friends this time. Look, he has friends. Wow. Yeah, but I told him I was quitting. He was quitting. He was quitting using his pasta pass after that

which which really was his job at that point just using the the pasta path let's see if we know this next fact a texas woman filed a million dollar lawsuit against olive garden after eating a mushroom that was too hot for her mouth claiming she was about to suffocate and that death was imminent i have also felt this way out at an olive garden, but it was just after eating a normal meal, so I might piggyback on this one to get paid. Turn it into a class action. Yeah, me too.

Oh, too hot for my mouth too. Death is imminent. That's what she said. How do you eat a mushroom that's so hot you are about to suffocate and death is imminent that's what she said how do you eat a mushroom that's so hot it was you are about to suffocate and a stuffed mushroom that she just tucked right into i guess you know how like sometimes you see food and you're like oh i should probably wait on that one she didn't and sometimes it looks too good right and then you go that's a technique you suck it in uh-huh so then she i think swallowed it and then thought she was choking and then went into

the kitchen and threw up and then had to go to the doctor and on the way said that she felt like her throat was closing and that she was about to suffocate and that death was imminent. When you say that you're about to suffocate and death is imminent at an olive garden is that similar to saying mayhaps out of carl's junior did you get a similar reaction to that people just stop what they're doing and become outraged they all slowly turn and look at you everyone's just mean to you now for what you think is no reason but it's actually really justified uh and that's uh

that's that how'd that how'd that work out for her though she get that this was last year and nothing has moved forward on it since then all right yep i was i was holding it up keep your ear to the ground on that one for us eric yep this was march of 2019 set up some google news alerts yeah i'll make sure i get right on that new segment we got too many segments already we gotta trim these segments i don't know let's get rid of the food-based ones and keep it van and let's get rid of the we have to get rid of the van one cut out olive garden we'd have so much time to talk about the van and talk about chris gaines yeah i was say, we need to keep the Garth Brooks segment. That one stays.

Everything else can go. Nick, you can nod. Did you cut anything from the last episode? I just remember there were so many conversations about cutting things. I gave at least one and we're back. Yes, true. I know Eric went and cut here and all of that was in. All of it stays.

It's all meat, baby. The thing is, you know, joke's on us. After we're done here, that's it. Nick just does whatever he wants. He can cut stuff out. He can add stuff. He sends us the episode to listen to, but it's like I already did it. I'm not going to listen to it again. So really, he can just do whatever. us the episode to listen to but it's like i already did it i'm not going to listen to it again so really he can just do whatever i'll listen to it i listen oh i listen

this is the this is like one of the only podcasts i work it's the only do you think i remembered you said mayhaps no i just listened to it a couple days ago and then i went, he didn't cut anything out. I was surprised with how the latency issues worked in the edit. That was great. Michael talking and then nothing, and then the confusion and the robot voice. Oh, man. It was very confusing. I was borderline irate when I asked Eric a question,

and he ignored me and i was just staring directly at him i i'll never i'll never forget watching you talk for like 35 seconds straight and no audio coming through and you're like looking back and forth and gesturing and then as soon as you stop the audio starts and was like, this is fucking like it was nuts. It was fucking crazy to see. It was awesome. It was weird, too, because like you guys were on time for me. Weird.

So like I could hear you when you were talking. Yeah, because our phones were close to our lap. My audio. Yeah, but like I could hear fine. It was the in was fine. The out was all gunked up it was gunk there was gunk in the lines dude i don't trust 5g the pipes yeah it's true it's true all right so uh what is olive garden's amazing alfredo's bullshit thing that's a good question

because i honestly as i ate it i didn't know how it was different in any way. I've been waiting for this. Well, you have to describe what the Alfredo sauce is. Yeah. Okay. So first, first we have a description of the Alfredo sauce so we can familiarize ourselves. Using butter, garlic, Parmesan cheese, cream, milk, salt and pepper. We prepare freshes of our alfredo sauce throughout the day cool sounds like it's a sauce that's the sounds like a restaurant making food

okay so this is about this is about their amazing alfredo menu on the menu you'll find classics like chicken alfredo fettuccine alfredo seafood Alfredo, parentheses, which is tossed with sauteed shrimp and scallops, and shrimp Alfredo, all of which you can find on their typical menu. You can also find steak Alfredo. I'm finding a lot of stuff here. It's like a scavenger hunt. Made up of a grilled six ounce sirloin topped with garlic herb butter and served with fettuccine Alfredo, says delish.com

this amazing alfredo's menu is in honor of olive garden adding over 30 percent more sauce to their main alfredo dishes without changing anything extra this is amazing it's amazing amazing alfredo 30 30 we're talking about serious chris gaines here yeah i was thinking we were talking about chris gaines he should have done some kind of like muscle milk yeah i was looking at too like yeah it was it was garth brooks but buffer yeah gains with chris gaines like that's the show right there that's a way better idea than whatever he did. So Nick, I'm allowing you one sentence, one word. Give me a number on a scale of one to 100.

Based on that description, how excited does that make you for this new menu because of the sauce? Ten. Whoa. Out of 100? Ten is pretty reasonable. That's pretty crazy for a sauce monkey like him. I forget. I forgot what was discussed about it.

And then even when I ordered it, I was thinking, oh, I better make sure I get the right order because I don't remember exactly what it is. And then there was one thing, you know, it was like screaming sauce section. And I went, oh, this must be it. And then I ordered it and went, what the hell is different about this And then I ordered it and went, what the hell is different about this? Then I ate it and went, what the hell is different about this? What did they do again? Why is a third party website describing this also?

Because when I asked them for it. Does Olive Garden not care? Do you have a press release or any press information regarding your amazing Alfredo's event? They said, yeah, here's a link. And they sent me to the olive garden website which has the quote about the alfredo sauce at the top and then i said is i mean was there anything like this isn't what i'm looking for do you have press material and they said how stupid and they sent me to delish.com do you think that after this episode comes out

they'll use one of our quotes? And then when the next... What are your quotes? Well, it's just we haven't reviewed the food yet. When we finish the episode, we'll have a bunch of reviews and we'll give our opinions. And then maybe the next people that ask, hey, do you have a press release or something for this? They'll go, yeah, check this out. And it'll be something from Face Jam. And I'm giggling at what we can say later.

I think that they can just send the whole episode. Like they don't have to, like if people ask you of press material for Amazing Alfredos, they can be, yeah, check out this episode of Face Jam. And then they'll hear about the van. They'll hear about Chris Gaines. It'll be really exciting. There's a single person on the planet that found this podcast and thought i don't know what this is but i want to know about this food and they listened to the whole episode god i hope not

could you imagine do you think someone went oh i really want to know about this chicken sandwich i'm gonna listen to this and they got 30 seconds in and went oh it's kind of rocky but maybe they'll get to it then after eight minutes of talking about our shirts in the vans, they ate the food, right? What's going on here? And then when we finally get to the food, it's like they don't even care. Oh, it's saucy.

80. I waited 57 minutes for that? They don't even have sponsors and now i know why oh man oh boy so amazing alfredo's 30 for alfredo sauce that's all it is it's that's regular it's regular food i wish there was more about one more spoon is what that is yeah it's like went from three spoons to four spoons of sauce i want to know what spawned it like did did an alfredo sauce truck crash and like they're overflowing with we gotta get rid of it i was thinking did someone fuck up and they're like oh my god i put four instead of three and they're like hang on hang This is amazing. It's like an oops-all-berries situation.

Oh my God. This is, we, send this up the ladder. They gotta know. Send it to delish.com. They gotta come in here. Tell them to write a review. We'll put it on our website. Speaking of an oops-all-berries situation,

I do want to, I want to tell you guys i just found out that um this is part of a permanent menu change they are adding 30 percent more alfredo sauce to all of their stuff i think because i think do the success of what's going on here is this a recent decision is this breaking news this is Yes, this is breaking news. I think that the steak... Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. That's the breaking news sound. Yeah, because it's so fast. We need to keep Morse code.

That's fast. I think the steak with the fettuccine Alfredo is like a non-permanent menu item. Okay, good. So we didn't... It better be or else this is going to be... Yeah, I was going to say, this episode is right in the

trash can but that is the that's the amazing thing about the amazing alfredos is that there's just more it's amazing and we we've talked about olive garden before as a potential episode and we were just like they don't make anything new ever they just just do deals. They do a lot of deals. They do a lot of promotions. They do a lot of specials, but they don't really have limited time foods. So, and the one time they tried to do it, they were like,

yeah, we're sticking with it. Oops. We'd spilled some more limited time. It's like, it is like the oops, old bear situation where it just keeps working. So, and then it's like, I like the oops old bear situation where it just keeps working so and then it's like i'm starting to believe starting to think that maybe you didn't just fuck this up and

you just keep doing it i think that's all they know all they know is permanent menu well let's get into it let's get into the review of the food what'd you guys think of olive garden's amazing alfredo alfredo steak alfredo what is it that was close I think you should have said Alfredo two more times oh sorry that's my bad somebody can put that in later you need to say it 30% more I'm getting so full as time goes on

it's expanding it is like I'm getting fuller and I bet that wine is not helping you're making quite a distressed face I think Michael's drunk You're making quite a distressed face. Wine is getting good. I think Michael's drunk. No. He's full.

Okay, so I don't know if I've ever had the steak alfredo. I may have gotten it that one time I went with pasta pete just to try something new, but I don't remember it then, and I ate it, let's say, an hour ago, and i don't remember it then and i ate it let's say an hour ago and i don't remember it now um it didn't feel like it had 30 more alfredo sauce i'll just volunteer that off right off the bat seemed pretty normal to me um i did have a problem with the steak juices contaminating the alfredo sauce and kind of watering it down damn nick is hard agreeing and pointing yeah and it's a nod and a point it's not a very good combination so it didn't really help so right off the bat you got false advertising didn't feel like it was 30 percent more uh you got cross-contamination but it's like i came here with 30 percent more alfred got cross-contamination.

It's like I came here with 30% more Alfredo sauce and I'm getting steak juice. Also, it's like a tiny amount of food. I also ate mine in about five minutes. It's a six ounce sirloin, which is like, that's fine. But the pasta is like not a lot of pasta either. So to me, it feels like it's the same amount of pasta or the same amount of sauce and then they just took pasta away and they're like 30 percent more i think they replaced pasta with sauce it's possible or it's possible whoa okay it's a possibility that's not gonna be a shirt it's right there don't don't well yeah i already hit it out in the park with chris losses

so that one yeah you're on fire no shirts this episode no shirts there's not an olive garden shirt related there's no wins here i'll tell you one thing. Yeah, Olive Garden definitely has taken an L on this one because I didn't get anything out of it except overly full. I ordered it medium just to be safe because I figured they were going to undercook it one way or another. And I think it was closer to medium rare, so I think I'm safe. But I'll keep you guys updated on whether or not I throw this up later. But yeah, the steak was steaky. I mean, it could have been worse.

I will say the most exciting thing that happened was leaving the Olive Garden. I passed by. I was right behind Eric, and I don't know if you saw this lady, too, but it was like a vet. And this lady was coming out of her car and she had two bearded dragons what crawling all over her yeah oh man clinging to her as she was like getting out of her car is like cool lizard lady damn so if i were michael that would help the score but that would have influenced my score if i had a score if you were me that would help the score i didn't go on about eighth grade graduation what the hell are you talking about i didn't take us a trip down memory

lane and talk about what the feelings i felt thinking about getting well if i was just rating the breadsticks i mean that's that's the only thing i'm talking i'm talking about how are you talking about the amazing alfredo but uh you're still jordan Sweers you're trying to be two people right now stop being two people I am also Michael Gaines oh she Michael Gaines it's a common name I'll buy it you know

it's spelled Jones but it's pronounced Gaines whoa it's a hard J damn alright uh it's a hard J damn alright it's a 38 wow slamming them

oh man it should have just been 30 30% more score you keep doing that this episode more than usual for some reason it's this food it's like eating my brain what were you looking at just now Eric you seemed distracted

I'm honestly looking at this food I didn't finish and going do I want to eat the rest of this no don't I had the opposite as tends to be the case even with ordering it I ordered medium rare and I feel like I got medium

maybe they switched our steaks up I did not have a warm pink center it was a barely pink center but it was fine as I sat there eating my food just making guttural noises and hailing and slurping and using

plastic utensils to cut a steak because that's what they provided to me in the car. I thought this is like dog food. I'm eating dog food. Okay. But dogs like dog food, you know? And I just say,

I'll say woof. Okay. You put dog food in a bowl, they come running, right? You hear their collars jingling and they just go. And sometimes they throw it up a little bit. Then they eat it again. Okay. So had I thrown it up, I don't know that I would have eaten it again.

I don't know that I wouldn't have. I wasn't blown away by sauce. I wasn't thinking, oh, I'm drowning in a river of sauce. It must be 30%. Help, help. Screaming in his car with his windows up. Somebody toss me a life preserver. But it was good.

I mean, you know, it's garlic and butter and cheese. I like it. It's a good combination. I had zero, zero problem with the steak pasta cross-contamination. In fact, I was dabbling.

I was mixing. I was cutting my steak, poking it, and then wrapping pasta around it. Wow. Eating both at the same time. I felt they complimented each other. Wow.

Okay. It also cut down on my eat time it's like this way i if i eat them separate it'll take you he was going he was going for that world record yeah how he unknowingly set a world record in his car and in olive garden you know how kobayashi dips the the bun in the water so it goes down easier this is like that you're wrapping the steak with the pasta the The longer I took to eat the food, the warmer the wine was going to get in my car. Ah. She handed me the bottle of wine.

It's coming up burpees right now. She handed me the bottle of wine, and I put it in the back seat, and I said, no, no, no. You wait till we get home for you. I had a big old cup of water with me. Sucked on my breadsticks. I liked it. I liked it a lot. water with me sucked on my breadsticks i liked it i liked it a lot i i thought and and i mean as the portions go yeah it wasn't very much and i think i think that's the reason why they have

the breadsticks and why they're there is to just fill you up on the breadies but you can do this at any restaurant but i feel like olive garden is the restaurant where you sit there you order your food you suck it down and then you go give me some more more pasta you know like you like that's the place where they just go shall i shovel you another pile sir and they just fucking take it out and they pour more in the trough and you just go like a pig a. A dog pig. A dog pig. So I would have to give it... I'm going to hit this bad boy with a 77. Wow. Okay. But did you also see the bearded dragon lady?

Nope. Didn't even see her. I just saw the people taking their grandmother to her death. Usually when you celebrate someone's birthday, you don't call it their last birthday, but they did. Happy last birthday, they were saying as they took her inside.

Why do you keep saying that to me? They're trying to get rid of her. Oh my God. Holy shit. When you're here, you die. The average score is 57.5, which I think is pretty fair for what we got. Yeah. No arguments here.

Again, it knows it's Lane, right? Like it knows that it's for grandma in the middle of the day on her last birthday. Two o'clock. It was crowded. clonk it was crowded i will say eating eating it now eating olive garden now it does tarnish those those childhood memories and trips of going there and what i thought were you know good family memories turns out when i was there i was post balone yeah you you weren't yet but you will be you didn't know it yet yeah i'm gonna start getting face tattoos i think that's the next step so what did you guys i know that usually we do a snack

attack we we weren't together for this episode so no snack attack uh but we are doing a serp side what did you guys get for your serp side what did you get michael well i got the wine what did you get oh i got breadsticks you've had them before though you went there all the time as a kid yeah i got breadsticks they're good if you can go eat a fucking barbecue burger six times before we review it, I can get some fucking breadsticks. Yeah, but I mean, to be fair, the show isn't eat something you've never had before. It's eat something limited. Serp size is eat something you've never had before. Well, I've never had these breadsticks that I ate.

I ate them the first time. Wow, you didn't? Oh, my God. These weren't. We hadn't crossed paths before. How many breadsticks did you eat? I assume they give you six. I assume that's the standard breadstick package.

I ordered. No? Well, technically, I ordered dipping sauce that came with breadsticks. So I got Alfredo sauce. I got a large, which comes with eight breadsticks. Holy shit. Yeah. It got a large, which comes with eight breadsticks. Holy shit. Yeah. It was a pretty good deal.

It was actually a little weird that I had just ordered sauce, and I was just going to dump it on my Alfredo pasta. But yeah, so I got eight. I gave the soup that came as a side that I didn't want to my wife, and then she had three, and then I ate the other five. You ate all five of them? Wow. That surprised me. Jesus Christ then I ate the other five. You ate all five of them? Wow, that surprised me.

Jesus Christ. I like the breadsticks. Jordan was hearkening back to eighth grade the whole time before we got here. That's how he was just like, every bite was another test. Take me back! What's your score of the breadsticks? You really can't go home again. The breadsticks, 95.

Wow. What a surprise. Oh, my God. Did they taste like peaches? It's a real syrup side, right? Oh, boy. Dude, if they had a peach-flavored breadstick, that'd probably be awful. Michael, how about you?

It looks like you're finishing your whole syrup side now. You don't have to dump anything out. We believe you. I did it. I wanted to finish before I reviewed. No one call me a phony. Make sure you let it ruminate in your mouth and you get all the complexities. It's battling the garlic right now in my stomach so i got the moscato veneto uh primo

which means it's fruit juice yeah there's alcohol in it yeah what it is um it's a wine cooler there's so many words on the bottle that are unnecessary m Moscato is like so sweet. It's super sweet. I'm pretty sure Moscato is like a dessert wine. Did you look on like, did they have like some sort of like, pair this with your order kind of thing, you know? I don't think so. No. Olive Garden didn't do their due diligence.

Which fruit juice color do you want that gets you drunk, red or white? The choice of wine was eh or eh. And I went with the first one. I went, uh. The first grunt. Well, I don't like wine. And I definitely don't like red wine. I guess I'll take this one.

But it was fruity and delicious. I'm going to give it a 65. 65. Nice. As a non-wine drinker yeah it's Moscato it's easy I got it down I forced it down like a dog how would you rate

you give a dog wine that's what they do they'll get it down how would you rate how drunk it's got you feeling right now like you feeling buzzed you feeling tipsy I mean I'm feeling buzzed I mean it's only 7% yeah but you drink the whole you drink that's only seven percent yeah but it's only 750 milliliters yeah that that's like it's like a few beers i usually have you know nine to fifteen beers at a time yeah that's probably

four maybe five yeah i'm a little buzzed. I told you I'm going to crawl right into this bed. Night, night. Night, night time. And then I'm going to wake up at eight o'clock. My whole night's going to be ruined. Yep. Going to be up until 5 a.m. Treating Tuesday like it's a Friday.

I like it. Well, if you want to send us snacks to review, you can send it to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas. Or Vans. 78723. I have not been to the studio

to pick up whatever the last package was. We are desperate for snacks. Send more snacks. We do need snacks. This is a snack alert. Code snack. Not a snack alert. If you hear your phone going

ahhhh quick they need more snacks it's not because of the mask mandate and then the best part is they never happen at the same time so everyone in your household it all happens seven seconds apart every phone goes off so there's always a noise happening and then

you find out it's six hours away because you live in Texas and they go okay well find out it's six hours away because you live in texas and they go okay well the snack alert is six hours away yeah yeah snack alert in el paso yeah i'm not hopping in my car looking for this snack so well that's where you can send the snacks you can also follow us on twitter at face jam pod you can stay updated on everything that's going on. As of right now, the 100% Eat hat and 100% Eat variant shirts are on sale. Store.RoosterTeeth.com. As of right now, for us, not for you. So for us, we're a week in the past if you're watching this news.

So don't go looking for it and then become irate that it's not available because they've sold out. Because we told you on the last episode when. We told you. Yeah, you have no excuse. We said the day, and the day is today. If you're just confused about the Amazing Alfredos and you did a Google search and this popped up, I mean, we can't help you anyway. We've plateaued. We have a sponsor again.

And we also have our own collection page on the website. Face Jam has so much crap that we're shoveling towards you. Yep. It's just the full on Face Jam page. I believe it's under Let's Play, which I don't know that makes sense at all. Is that where I'm billing this meal to? Yeah make sure you're billing it to Let's Play Someone's paying for my wine I'm not

That was $15 But yeah we've got the Listen to Face Jam shirt We've got several variants of the 100% Eat shirt we've got the 100% Eat hat And we've got more stuff in the works More stuff in the works, just a little tease, but also Spice Rat shirt.

What? You just said it! Wow, you just... You just did the Eric tease. I'm gonna tease what it is. Here's what it is. Jordan was hot for it. Here's the thing. We said Spice Rat, and then five minutes later, Jordan was like,

that's a shirt, and we said no. We gotta hammer it into the audience for five more episodes yep then we make sure yeah just keep saying it every episode then it becomes a thing so we are working on the spice rat shirt it doesn't matter if it's funny or not it's no quantity over quality absolutely that's this show brand recognition i'm really excited for the Spice Rat shirt. We got like the first kind of mock-up proofs of what they're going to look like potentially. And I love the 100% eat shirt. This new Spice Rat shirt is like one of my favorite shirts. I think we, not just like we, but like Rooster Teeth has ever, I think it's fucking great.

It's really stupid. It's dumb as shit and i fucking i embrace the spice where i went okay if we're gonna do it this is how we do it i had some notes yep and i think they were good notes i think they nailed it yep it's just a little spicy yep it is it's just the right amount of spicy whether you're a spice rat or a spice mouse it's the right spice for you so stay tuned we'll have some more stuff for that really soon follow us at face jam pod you can get all the updates there and pictures

of the food and such yep yep so you can look at it we'll listen to the food this week oh yeah there's some really good food pics I didn't take any pictures yeah no we got I got some good stuff I'm so full make sure you subscribe tell a friend about the show

we eat the food and then we rate the food that's the show there's a lot in between that I mean I'm just describing the end of the show I know I'm just saying that's what the show used to be at the last five minutes of the show remember when it was half an hour and we got right to it anyway here we are

it wasn't enough that was the appetizer we're on the entree now when it was half an hour and we got right to it? Anyway, here we are. It wasn't enough. Yep. Nope, it wasn't. That was the appetizer. We're on the entree now. Yeah, baby. Can't wait to see what dessert's like. Okay, goodbye.

Whoa. He thinks he can just end the episode. You can't just end the episode. You thought it was over. We're still going now. I'm ending it. Now it's over. Goodbye.

Now. Because Jordan said so.