100% Eat - Outback Steakhouse Espresso Butter Steak

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Outback Steakhouse Espresso Butter Steak so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about cat or gun, pig candy, a kid staring from another booth, and more. Sponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam) and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam14 and use code facejam14) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Hey man, I'm just gonna say, Jordan offered to do this one, I'm gonna do it. Alright, hang in there bud. I want people to know he offered. I don't wanna say that there's two weird ones in a row, but stuff happened today. We weren't planning on it. I don't even know, dude. Welcome to Face Jam. The show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it.

You probably do, thanks to Honey and HelloFresh for making this show possible. I'm your host, and HelloFresh aficionado, Eric's not allowed in our neighborhood, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you after what we just experienced?

Much like the experience we just went through, I was feeling good, and now I feel weird. Let me say, this is, and I feel like this is different to say. A lot of times we feel weird or bad and it's very stomach related. My stomach is fine. It's a body feeling. My brain is very confused.

I feel like we're leaving was it Texas or when we were leaving Mexico? There was a time change. my brain and body are being separated again I'm glad that got left in that made me happy it's just I don't know this may be the first podcast we've ever done where we went out

we ate the food it was out back so we ate at the restaurant we came back and before we came in here I had to wash up in the bathroom I like washed my face and did the thing where you stare in the mirror with water dripping down your face. Splashed your face. Come on, Michael. Get it together. And I was like, what the fuck? And then I wiped it with paper towels and then I just like

and I came in here. And that's when Jordan goes, you want me to do the intro? You don't look so good. I got it. I don't know. I don't know how I feel. Oh, man. What do you think caused this? I think a part of what caused this is the Outback Steakhouse Espresso Butter Steak. Now don't be

confused. It's not a steak made of espresso butter. It's just their Outback steak and they go, they put this shit on top. Much like everything else. And you're like, oh, Outback's doing something big. We better get in there. What is it? Butter. And then you go, crikey. We went to try the

butter. There's so much to talk about. He burped very loud. That was huge. That was fucking crazy. We have so much to talk about and I don't want to jump ahead, but I will say Yeah, we already did an episode where we talk about the food. We can't do two in a row like that.

We'll do a little bit. But trust me, a lot of this is not about the food. Yeah, no supply chain issues on this one. Yeah, they had the food. Still had some conversations. Yep. We finished, and before we left, the waitress was like, so, what brings you here?

And we just went, this. Steaks. This. The butter espresso. And it was just a long silence, and she didn't sayaks. This. The butter espresso. And it was just a long silence and she didn't say anything. Yep. Well, here's what was weird is that everything was going normal for the most part. As normal

as could be at an Outback Steakhouse at 2 o'clock on a Tuesday. And she brought us the check that's usually the end of the interaction. Are you going right to this? Oh, I like it. Yeah, sure. I say go for it. It sets a tone. But

she was just hanging around and that's when I knew something was weird. She wanted some attention. I know. I understand. It's not like we talked to her much the whole meal. I would even say it started off. She wasn't rude, but it was like, she was very short. It was terse. It didn't start off. It was like, hey, how are you? Da da da. It was just like, what do you want?

Okay, fine. What do you want? And then escalated to this at the end with not much in between. It's like the middle of the book is missing. George's just talking about the ending. There's no path to get there. It just happened. To be fair, yeah, there's no real rising action to get us to

this climax. So, she brings us the check. There's a long pause. It's she brings us the check. There's a long pause. It's quiet. Uh-huh. It's quiet. Uh-huh.

It's quiet. It's an awkward silence as well. We're like waiting for her to leave. So. We can leave. Uh-huh. You want to see my new pet or my new toy? And I just thought,

don't say toy. Don't say toy. Don't say toy. Don't say toy. Just say pet. So I said. I don't know why we're being asked this. So I said pet. Let's see that pet. Safe bet. And then it was, Don't say toy. Just say pet. I don't know why we're being asked this. So I said pet.

Let's see that pet. And then it was, she showed us a picture of a cat. And I said, what kind of cat is that? Because I figure if I asked her a question, that would be a great way to get out of the conversation. She had an answer. She said, this is a tortoiseshell cat. And this is a little cat. And this is my cat.

And my new cat. And we went, great. His name is Zarula. And we all looked at it. And then there was another long pause. And there's a long pause. And then she goes, this is my new cat. And we went, great. His name is Zarula. And we all looked at it. And then there was another long pause. And there's a long pause. And then she goes, this is my new toy. And then she shows me

and Nick a picture. And I get excited because I can't wait to see Jordan see the picture. She turns it to them. Everyone's surprised. It is a picture of a gun. Yeah, it was a handgun. She has just shown us at the Outback Steakhouse the waitress shows us a gun. Picture of a gun. Sit on that one.

Here's your after dinner mint. Suck on this. We all just kind of went, whoa. This is my new toy. And I said something, I was like, oh, be careful with that toy. I think Nick said, hopefully that's not for the pet. He did say that.

I watched Michael just sort of look at it and then say something. Do the nod, yes. And then just slowly just kind of look at me and go. Yep. And then she finally walked away and you guys are all like, let's get out of here. And I sat down and go, maybe I should wait. I might just stay here and catch another ride because I don't even, I don't know what's going on right now. The thing we landed on.

Came out of nowhere. I think Michael said was, I mean, you know, she has that. Like, that's like in her car. That's in her car at best. Yes. If not in the kitchen or on her. Yes. Right?

And my thought was like, again, it still would be weird, but I imagine if there was some conversation, whatever, some inkling of like, oh, you'll be into this. There was none. She took a gamble. And I went, what do you gain from that, though, right? You either get someone who's like, oh my god, I can't believe it. Like, I don't like guns. I don't believe in guns. Or you get someone that goes, yeah! Either way, we're walking out the door.

Why? I don't understand it. I don't get it. It was so weird. I can't wait to go back to the Outback Steakhouse. It was just like, we, it literally was like, happened. We walked outside and then we all just stood outside. And we were like talking about how unbelievable it was. Just kind of staring at each other for a little bit.

And we were like, why did that happen? It was weird because we were near a freeway, but it was like somebody turned down the volume on everything. It was like, my ears were ringing. We were in one of those like quiet rooms. Just staring at each other going, I don't, going, do you think she got the reaction she wanted? I don't even know, man. And once again, there's a now hiring sign out there.

Oh, we talked about this when you were washing up. It made me just think, these are the people who aren't quitting their jobs. It's that type of person. Maybe that's it. Maybe they're just kind of throwing the feelers out there because they want like-minded people to work there. Maybe if you were like, I'm not going to not gonna apply now see i'm going the other way i think they i think they're desperate to hire new people so that way they can fire the people who are showing

cats and guns i don't know i feel like they're probably okay with them you think so i mean it's out back in texas you gotta you gotta remember i mean it wasn't downtown austin let me tell you yeah i mean we were we were practically around let me tell you yeah i mean we were we were practically let me let me tell you though where we live it changes real fast oh it does there you get out austin you get into texas just take a couple of steps and it's very different if you're wearing a mask suddenly those guns are pointing at you oh the guy who like was like we walked in and there was a guy like either smoking a cigarette or talking on his phone outside huh and i thought he was just a guy apparently he was like the server and he was like gonna seat us yeah he followed us in not wearing a mask not i mean not wearing a mask it

was it was a real free-for-all it was like right even even even our our server was liberal in her it was on her chin wearing of. Sometimes it covered her nose. Whatever. Hey, I'm juiced, bro. It's fine. I don't mind the mess one way or the other. It's the first time I've gone to a food place where someone wasn't wearing it and it really was shocking to me. It was like, this is the guy who says hi to you

at the door. I think he's supposed to either that or he's the friend of the person who says hi to you at the door. I think he might be the friend because we walked in and they didn't know what to do. Nope. No way. We've talked about Fridays and I was like, ghost town. It was 2 o'clock on a Tuesday, right?

There were five or six groups there, right? Oh, there were like some people, yeah. There were actually people there, okay? It wasn't a ghost town and they just, guess we just we threw him for a loop by coming in and say we would like to eat here yeah can we sit down believe it and that guy and it was just like look at it fuck oh fuck what do we do he started panicking he went let me go see if we have a clean table he didn't say that and it was like i looked to my right and it's empty at least a dozen two dozen empty tables at least two dozen. I gestured to Michael. I was like, I see lots of tables over here.

Your eyes were bulging out of your head, and you started spasming, and you were gesturing towards all the tables. Sit me down at 2 p.m. at the Outback Steakhouse. No one's here. You were gesturing towards the open tables, and I just leaned over, and I went, yeah, but he said clean tables. What the fuck? Then we sat down. Look, we're not going to stay in. This is not going to be another episode where we talk about the food the whole time.

We haven't talked about the food yet no just so you know there's a lot to say we went they sat us down were all of the tables in the section dirty or the two dozen that were also there and empty were fine or what they threw us in like a booth in the corner i don't know and they went hey little gremlins get back there Yeah, I don't know. I mean it was fine. I feel like I didn't see piles of dirt on any tables I know. It seemed like there were so many options, but it wasn't just like oh shit. They're dirty. Let me clean it Yeah, it was like he didn't know what to do. I saw the guy He went to one end of the restaurant came back went to the other end turned around and I watched him Count and mouth to himself like one two three four five

Then he started whispering to like another host, 2, 3, 4, 5 and I was like and then he called back up and they were like it was like we were at Applebee's again they just had to get each other but then he started handing her shit but not like here's the menus

and here's the silverware one menu there's two silverware in this drawer I found one more menu under this chair it was very again One menu. He's like really struggling with silverware. There's two silverware in this drawer. All right, I found one more menu under this chair. It was very, again, like the guy started working there right before we walked in. But he was like the black shirt guy. Yeah.

He wasn't like the employee uniform guy. That's usually the guy that knows what's going on. He was also wearing a UT hat. Yeah, he was wearing like Nick's hat. Well, I mean, again, Texas, so. I guess. He was just like Weird. We walked in. I was wondering why he looked at me and said got any toys? Check your toys at the front, please.

Yeah, so that's part of the Outback experience. Just the experience that we're all now just sitting with. Yeah, that's why we're Weird now It's a lot of it Again not the food No rules

Just right Um There were I didn't see any rules None There were no rules I don't think I don't think I've ever been

Inside of an outback before Today by the way Yeah Very dark in there It is very dark It's usually pretty dark Yeah It's like we're out

In the outback Oh I think it's supposed to be like you're in a steakhouse. I don't know about that. I think they're leaning pretty heavy into the Australian theme. Well, yeah, and we'll learn more about that in the facts section. We will? Yeah, just letting you know. Don't look ahead.

But first, um, I told you what we ate. It's butter. Stick with butter on it. But we also threw in you what we ate, it's butter Um But, but, we also threw in Like we do, um We threw in the What was the fucking Candy martini? Gingerbread Uh, something martini Gingerbread, like with whipped cream, martini, whatever

Didn't get any gingerbread But, got that It had Baileys in it, basically And then, this is great. On the way out of the building, here, like to get in the car to go to Outback, Nick deployed his master plan. This is what he's been crafting it for two fucking weeks.

I walked up to him when we got here. I was like, why are you so sweaty? Yeah, no reason. It's written on his fucking hand. It's insane. read it so we mentioned last episode we ate that wild fucking sauce yes from uh from whatever and of all the people one of the security guys had it and and he was saying he's like oh that's the outback i cracked and we all cracked the code you don't go back and listen to that episode what you're saying j Jordan got out of the recording room and was going to confront me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Luckily, he ran. Again.

Luckily for me. Yeah. It's a thing where, like, I couldn't have sat down and went, I know what the Outback sauce tastes like. But it's not that. It was a taste I never had in my life. And he was sure of it. It was positive.

And we're just like, you're a maniac. You're a maniac. And so, haven't talked about it since then. No. Two weeks ago. We're walking out of the building go to the car and nick like a child uh at the back of the group goes i feel like we should probably get the the blooming onion you know compare the you know the sauce to see if he was right or not and we all were just like we can get the onion we're not gonna go and not get the

onion but it's how long you've been crafting this excuse like whoa i mean we're not gonna go and not get the onion but it's how long you've been crafting this excuse like whoa i mean we're going to out we're gonna get the blooming we have to get this you know i mean i don't even want it but you know we have to do it i guess we'll get it oh darn i hate onions i ran into a friend and i told him we were going to outback steakhouse he's like what are we what are you getting and i told him about the butter and he's like oh anything else and i'm like oh i mean probably like a blooming onion he went well yeah of course right that's like, what are you getting? And I told him about the butter and he's like, oh, anything else? And I'm like, oh, I mean, probably like a bloomin' onion. He went, well, yeah, of course. Right, that's like the french fry. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

What the fuck? We were gonna get it anyway. And then we threw on some mac and cheese bites. Those, yeah, cool. And so that's what we ate. Just kind of the butter. Yep. The butter's the thing. The butter is the thing that brought us to steak. That's the only thing that we have on here is the butter. Not even the steak. It is the espresso, well, it's the espresso butter steak. Right, which, to be fair though, but it's just we have on here is the butter Not even the steak Well it's the espresso butter steak

To be fair though but it's just the same steak With just the butter on top of it There's two different kinds of steaks that they offered it on I'm just saying the steaks aren't new They just took the regular steaks And put the butter on top of it Obviously they're selling it as the Outback Steakhouse Espresso Butter Steak Because they don't want to say

Come in for butter but that's what it is It's just butter. Yeah. It's just they put espresso butter on the steak. Not as much as I was expecting to. Mine ran away. Oh, the drink. I don't know if we said this or I blacked out. The drink was espresso too. Wasn't it? Was it gingerbread

espresso or something? I think that's what it was. I think that's what it was. I mean, it was like Kahlua. I'm not going to look it up. I don't know. You know what? I'm not either. For everyone right now going to look it up. I don't know. You know what? I don't care. I'm not either. For everyone right now saying, you're wrong, I don't care. Yeah. Too late. Somebody showed us a gun an hour ago.

I don't give a fuck. Life is different now. Life is meaningless. That gun could be coming for us. It looked like a 9mm. Oh, big time. It was a smallish pistol. I'll be honest.

I was expecting it to be like an assault rifle. I was expecting an AR. Yeah. 100%. I was expecting to see an AR. That's why I think I was surprised. Oh, not what I was expecting. A small gun.

Fantastic. Yeah. And we're just kind of settling. Yeah. I don't feel weird from the food. It's what you said at the top. I usually feel kind of bleh from the food. I feel kind of like, uh, from seeing a gun.

And really, it's great that we're doing the podcast right after because if we had to sit, even like, it's great that we do a podcast and have that experience because if you're, if you had that just like by yourself and you have to sit with that and you're just like kind of fucked up from it and you have no outlet. That's what Nick was saying. I had a thing happen. I had a thing happen on a plane. And then like for a full day, I'm like, who the fuck do I tell?

I don't, who am I telling this? What the fuck? What the fuck? And then this was immediately us walking outside and going, we just saw a fucking gun. Yeah. We saw a gun. Again, it wasn't even just we saw a gun. It's weird no matter how you place it.

But like, it's weird that she showed, she thought she would show us the gun and we'd be like, yeah. And we didn't want people, if somebody walked in in fucking hunting outfits and they were like, oh, we were out hunting last week and they went, oh, you hunt? This was just like have a nice day. Look at my gun. And we just went, what the fuck?

The problem is that we did not earn it. It's true. We did nothing to deserve the gun being shown to us. I think maybe what happened is no one's earned it in a week or so. She's like, the next fucking people that sit down, I'm showing them my cat, and I'm showing them my gun. No matter which one they pick first. They're probably sitting right next to each other. Well, the cat's sleeping on the gun for sure.

Keeping the ammo warm. Shoots better. I don't know, man. I don't even know. Do you got a haiku for that? Yeah, Jordan, what's your haiku? Not for that, but I did write one. Oh, did you?

This week, yeah. So now you, Jordan now gets to read normal Jordan's haiku. And not gun Jordan's haiku. Yeah, yeah. This is the mind space I was in. I will say, I need to apologize. Last Fortnite, there was a fuck up. Did you mess it up?

In my hurriedness. Was it too many syllables? It was one syllable short on the first line. Here's the problem. Which is really dumb because I miscounted and thought I needed to shorten problems to probs. After like two or three episodes, I stopped counting because I trusted it. You can see me counting on my fingers. Now that's fucked us.

We're going to have to all count again. Me too, apparently. Anyway, you need to counting on my fingers and now that's a fuck this Anyway, I just like to apologize to the audience my friends and family can we make a shirt that says gun or cat? To make up for it though To make up for it. I'm just walking around with a shirt that says Gunner Cat and they're just at Target. What does that mean? We're going, what the fuck is this? No drawings. It's just Gun or Cat.

You pick. Interpret it how you will. To make up for the missing syllable, I've added one to the first line of this one just so on the whole everything is even. Wait, wait. So this is going to be 6-7-5. It's going to be 6-7-5.

Better be good. Outback Steakhouse. No rules. That's for sure, mate. Mate was really a tack-on on that one. Punishment comes back around like a boomerang. I mean, this could really go for the gun as well. I feel like fucking

Jordan could write something equally like this uh Don't put a more shadow for foreshadowing to the thing. I didn't know was gonna happen There's a portend Even he didn't know oh my god gunner cat Wow All right, you guys want to learn about Outback Steakhouse? I guess. I don't usually want to just sleep after we eat.

You know what I mean? I'm like, oh. Like, I want to take a nap, but it's like when you're sick and you sleep. It's not like, ah, sleep. It's like, oh, fuck. I don't want to be awake right now. I just want to go to sleep. That's how it usually feels.

I'm just tired now. I think what I'm- I'm just like, what did I just go through? Well, it's because we went into a mental flight mode. Yeah, we went into a fight or flight mode at the end of a steak dinner. And we didn't do either. No, we sat. We sat. We sat in the heat. And then we just kind of walked out.

What I'm really like turning over in my head is that like we were talking about like Eric mentioned something happened to him on a plane where like some the story is like some guy was like trying to like put his bag somewhere put his bag under a middle seat but the plane wasn't set yet so someone might sit there and Eric was like no and the guy was like but I'm trying and Eric was like no yeah the conversation's over there's 30 people behind you did you check their boarding passes it's good

I checked no one's there it's like have you never been on a plane before right it's like people like that really just like dude bring you down Yes but then the lady like next to you like Came and was like a voice of reason was like like who the fuck is this guy? Yeah, yeah, and then like that makes you be like okay. There are normal people right right that gives you hope yeah And like we that was the story we were telling at the restaurant. Like, we're riding high on the hope for humanity.

Yeah. And then the lady shows us a gun. That was literally on the way there. Fucking hell. Damn, dude. Where's that lady from the plane? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I will say this. I don't know if you knew this. The kid behind you was looking at us like the entire time. Oh, I didn't know that. He was right above you the entire time just staring. Oh, I didn't know that. Constantly. Like, the whole fucking time. We must have been really interested been really interesting i was waiting like for his parents to do something they didn't

um whether it be like i was expecting like i stopped cursing around my kid or just i expected something to happen like oh this yeah this kid's gonna get talked to we're getting nothing happened four or five times this kid just stick oh it happened, it happened a lot. How old was the kid? I don't know. Five or six? No, it wasn't that old. I would say probably like four. So you'd say like.

I don't know how old age kids are. No, I understand. So you'd say like in 60 years, he'll be a listener. He's just getting like a precursor kind of thing. Yeah, it was like a, he was like a conscious child. Oh, okay. That was aware of his decisions. Right. And was choosing to just stare at people talking about.

Thinking we didn't notice them and that we're not experts at like i just kept i kept staring right at him because i was sitting across from you and and he he would pop up he maybe didn't pop up that many times like six times but he would pop up and sit there for two minutes right and so he would just pop up and i would just be staring like i'm talking to you and i'm just looking above you just staring at the kid he's just staring at me didn't fucking say say anything. He never said a single word. Very weird. Usually kids are either like shy or they're like, what are you doing? Or a parent's

like, don't do it. Nothing. Nothing. Mayhem. Mayhem at the It's like when you tell a kid's invisible and they think they're invisible. I'm pretty sure he thought he was invisible. Because I'm just staring at him and he's just like I was like, he's staring right past me. Yeah. I wonder what's right behind me. Yeah, it must be really interesting.

All that other crazy shit happened, I honestly even forgot about that. Yeah. On a regular week. I had no idea until you told me. I wasn't even going to talk about it. Eric, there's no reason to tell you. On a regular episode, that would have been the story.

That would have been the thing. And now I was like, oh yeah, also this kid watched us eat. Yeah. It was more exciting what we had going on. We had a good time. We told some Chris stories We had a really good time Chris is a friend of ours

We did chat It's a Oh Pasta Pete Pasta Pete We told some pasta Pete stories Yeah It was a good time

But let's learn about Outback Let's learn about Outback Cool Our previous Outback Steakhouse episode Was released January 5th, 2021 Whoa Where we ate The peppercorn short rib

Received an average score of 30. Oh my god. We slammed him. Last day of innocence. When you were getting washed up, I was like, man, I can't believe we ate at Outback Steakhouse twice this year. And Jordan went, whoa, no way. And he looked at the date and he went, whoa, January 5th.

And the world changed. And I went, oh! I didn't even think about it, but it's weird how it peaked with him Do you think maybe this is what inspired Jordan? Do you think the pepper corn is your rib? This inspired me to do what? I mean, who knows? Honestly, who can say?

Someone put together a desk on January 6th And watched the world burn It's weird Inside Nancy Pelosi's office Starting two weeks ago He kept saying Remember I was telling you about the desk Remember

If anybody asks Remember I was building the desk Here desk. Hey, remember the desk. If anybody asks, remember I was building the desk. Here's the receipt. Here's the receipt for the desk. Nancy Pelosi has a standing desk now. God damn. If you go back and look at the picture of that guy, his legs are way up high. Man, those people

started getting sentenced to like three and a half years in jail. Yes, they did. 40 months, 40 months, 40 months. Oh, man. No pardons. Outback Steakhouse offers seven cuts of steak, all of them cooked poorly. Exclamation point. Man. We don't have to get into it, but we ordered medium rare.

Mine was definitely rare. Was it? Really? Mine was definitely more on the deeper medium side. Mine was probably medium rare. Was it really? Yeah. Mine was not. Mine the deeper medium side. Mine was probably medium rare. Was it really? Yeah. Mine was not.

Mine was pretty on point. I think it's interesting. We got four different. Nick didn't even get a steak. He got a potato. We ordered four steaks medium rare. He ate a sponge the whole time. I think that counts as cooked poorly.

I know we're in the fact section But can we talk about how fast Nick ate his whole fucking meal? That was great I mean, we finally just got this show back on the rail. I mean you want to talk about the I can just go through the like or more poor Michael back. No, these are good. I think you mean back off the rails Yeah, I mean well, we'll get to get to Nick's meal consumption after the facts Yeah. I mean, it's hard to say. Well, we'll get to Nick's meal consumption after the facts. All right.

Jesus. I miscounted. There's only three more facts. Hooray. Oh, great. We'll just bang right through this. Although this is a nationwide chain, in Lusiana in Texas, you can get crawfish. This is exciting for people who want to go out to eat in those two states but can't stop eating bugs.

It is one of the buggiest of the like, seafood crustaceans. I would say like, general seafood. Right? You got like lobster and crab and crawfish. And they're definitely the buggiest. They're all bugs, but they're definitely the buggiest of them. They're small like bugs.

They're small and you gotta like, scoop them out of dirt and shit. It's like digging for worms and just eating them. I think it's all like the things hanging off of eye and they yeah right yeah just like it's like digging for worms and just eating them I think it's I think it's all like the things hanging off of it it's got like

little claws and tendrils and like those are the ones that like have the little they poke the holes in the sand and people like like no that's crabs

that's like sand crabs no I'm not thinking of crabs I'm definitely thinking of some bugs probably another bug food it's probably different yeah different bugs it's like one of those weird bug worm looking things

where like you like pour the salt and then it comes out that's maybe that's it yeah maybe that's it that's also, yeah, different bugs. It's like one of those weird bug worm looking things. Where like you pour the salt and then it comes out? Maybe that's it. Yeah. Maybe that's it. That's also bugs. Yeah, it's bugs. It's all bugs.

It's bugs and not only is it bugs, but it's bugs and that's like bugs and dirt. Yeah. It's bug dirt fish. It's, I don't like it. Yeah. When you want to eat bugs, dirt, and fish, but you don't have much time, just eat crawfish. Just eat crawfish. All three at once.

dirt and fish, but you don't have much time, just eat crawfish. Just eat crawfish. All three at once. If you're terminally online, you probably remember a tweet from 2017 showing five Outback locations creating the shape of a pentagram that got everyone excited for three days. Also, if you're terminally online,

Jordan has a lot of information about an exclusive app for Patriots only where you can see, quote, the real news. It's funny because when I started reading it, I thought he was going to go to the pins and he did not. He did not go to the pins. You guys were talking about Marvel pins or something

beforehand. You mean like the New England football team? I don't get it. I'll be honest, too. You capitalized it with a P. When I got to the P, I thought of that and then I read the rest of the sentence. I was in New England over Thanksgiving. I was in New England over Thanksgiving. I was flipping through the channels and I came across one

and it's two guys talking in like a, it looked like a podcast kind of thing where it's just guys with mics in their face. Like we're doing right now. And it said, Patriots talk. And I was like,

what the fuck is this? Like, right leaning bullshit. And then I realized, oh, it's, they're talking about the New England Patriots bullshit and then I realized oh it's they're talking about the New England Patriots and then I got mad for a different reason yeah oh my god damn last fact where were we parlor Outback's interior design features authentic art and imagery to resemble the culture of Australia.

When I told this to my Australian friends, they spit at me and called me the C word, but not how they usually do. Yeah, usually it's friendly. This is not friendly. Damn. Yeah, it was fucked up. It's like, that's what you get when you tell them, oh, Foster's is a great beer. Yeah, and then they go, whoa, and you go, I'm sorry. So I looked around because I knew about that fact of like, oh, it's is a great beer. Yeah, and then they go, whoa! And you go, I'm sorry. So I looked around because I knew about that fact of like,

oh, it's supposed to be like Australia in here. There were pictures of kangaroos at our table. Yeah, in blue bonnet fields? Yes, classic. It was like Texas, Australia. Classic Australia. A blend of cultures. And then I looked around and the rest of it was a guy in a UT hat

and I didn't see anything else that was Australian. Also, though, I just blacked all that out. I didn't look at anything. Was the kangaroo next to blue bonnets or in the blue bonnets? No, no, no. Shoot it. There's a blue bonnets thing behind you guys and then there's a kangaroo's. Isn't it like you can't fuck with the blue bonnets?

You know, like a stupid thing? Yeah, you're not allowed to pick them. But you can fuck with kangaroos. You can kill kangaroos and eat them. I'm just saying, not only is the kangaroo a rodent, it's fucking with the blue bonnets. Uh-oh. Somebody go tell our waitress so she can shoot it. I'm on this.

Hey, this is for Texas and Australia. There we go. Wow. We learned a lot about Amex Steakhouse. Did we? I don't think so. What do you mean? I learned you built a desk.

Oh, man. Well, that's all that we have to learn about Outback Steakhouse, but I do want to circle back and talk about how fast Nick ate his meal. Okay, sure. Right. Thank you for waiting. What? Because it was her coming around. The waitress came back and she went, I didn't realize, I didn't

look at his fucking plate. She just went, do you guys want some dessert? And I'm like, I'm like four or five bites into my steak. I'm like, I'm like in about halfway maybe. And his plate was gone. It was gone. And it was like she had already taken it left and come back. Yeah, do you guys want some cheesecake? You can split it four ways and i'm at the classic like you know you know

when you go in you're not getting dessert yeah no no whatever and then kind of went what the fuck and his plate was gone and then he started going oh i like that idea she goes she goes you want a cheese steak and we're like oh no we can't we can't like after this whatever and she goes well that's why you get one and you cut it into four pieces. And that's when Nick goes, ooh, we could do that. And I was like, yeah, but then. And it was three other people going, no. And I was going, yeah, but then if we just get one, he's just going to eat it all.

And she was like, well, no. And I go, and I think you mentioned it. You're like, look, his plate's gone. Of course he's going to eat it all. This guy won't stop. And so for Nick's own good, we didn't get a cheesecake for him to eat in its entirety i don't think i even saw nick try it it was just the food was just and then it's gone yeah this entire plate was gone as far as i know he ate the i was incredibly impressed

it was just it happened so quickly i'm not impressed i'm concerned i'm i'm gonna let him live how he wants to live i just feel uh poorly I just feel like I need to point it out. Sure. Every time. I'm just gonna point it out and leave it at that. I'm here for a good time, not a long time. Hey, in case you didn't know what you do, let me tell you what you do.

You wanna keep going? Be my guest. I just, you know... Go nuts, I guess. Go nuts. I just don't want you to say, I had no idea, why didn't someone tell me? At least this time,

we all, and we all ate this meal and then when it was over before we saw a gun, we all said like, oh, I'm not going to clarify if people have fallen off track. It was a picture of the gun.

Right. On her phone. Not that it's any less weird. No, it's, she didn't just whip it out. Although probably, based on her reaction, there was a chance she might have.

Yes. If we all went, that's awesome, I wish I could see it, she probably would have said, you're in luck. Yeah. She would have fired two in the air and just gone like, you're welcome, happy birthday. And then she'd look at us and go,

I was building a desk on January 1st. I was in New England. It usually, usually when we eat this food, like last time, Applebee's, I felt like shit. I went home after that episode and like slept on the couch because I felt bad. I felt bad, bad. This, I don't feel like I had any. I felt like I ate a sandwich for lunch.

It does not feel like I had a fucking steak. They were small. We were smart. We got the- Which is probably why he ate it so fast. We split the Bloomin' Onion. Oh, this is funny, too. I forgot. There was only eight mac and cheese bites. I ate one. Just because I remember, like, the Bloomin' Onion. Oh, this is funny, too. I forgot.

There was only eight mac and cheese bites. I ate one. Just because I remember, like, oh, two each. And then I was just like, I had one, and we're sitting there, whatever. And then I just hear you go, Nick, you can have mine. And I look, and I see there's one left. I'm like, oh, we had two, and you had one. And Nick's like, oh, no, I can't and you're like yeah just

eat it and you go it's okay I'm allowing you you can have it and he was like pretending to be like he's not who he is you know he was pretending he was for theatrical reasons putting up more of a fight

I'm just gonna cut this short not even have the conversation. I pass on it as well. And Jordan's like, I pass. And then he was like, ooh, I like that. As soon as the words were out of Jordan's mouth, the fork was reaching for it. It was fantastic.

Also, someone, I think, said the Holy Trinity. Yeah. I said that. Ooh, I like that a lot. And then he ate the last magazine bite. Which we all knew he was going to eat if it's blessed fucking

splashed ranch all over the fucking place he submerged it he got all of the ranch he put the mac and cheese bite was just smaller than the cup

of dressing and he just put it in and pushed down like drowning someone it was like you know when you have a dry sponge and you want it to absorb as much of the water as you can

It's that but with a mac and cheese ball. Yeah, you said something like what the fuck? And then that kid would looked over again at you Fucking wild dude it was crazy. Yeah, but I don't feel terrible. I don't feel terrible um It was pretty quick. Yeah, right didn't take too long. Yeah, but I don't feel terrible. I don't feel terrible. Um, it was pretty quick Yeah, right didn't take too long. Yeah, the drinks took a little bit. Oh There was an explanation. Yeah something about a refrigerator and swapping and we didn't really care cream I didn't care at all. We all just kind of we all sat there. Yeah, okay saying we don't care got it cool They don't know where he explained this to you. Yeah, I it. Cool. No worries. Let me explain this to you. You don't have to. I feel like she was like,

you gotta hear this. This is really a problem for me. And we're just like, no, it's fine. Yeah, certainly I don't care. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Don't worry though, they're coming. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then they came and then she spilled them everywhere. Well, just Jordan. Jordan's in front of Jordan.

Which, I do feel like, usually, I want to make sure you guys have like the pristine ones because you guys you're rating it and I want you to give it the most in that case it felt like a bunch spilled and that's probably fine by Jordan because he really didn't want this thing to begin with

and we're not necessarily rating it so he just got less and that's okay yeah and it wasn't on him it was just on the table it was all over her tray on the table, under the glass on the glass there's plenty of whipped cream

I'll say too again, I don't want to say like she wasn't like rude she wasn't like bubbly, she was just like I work here, I'll get you what you want which is fine, it felt very New Jersey to me she was very east coast you were saying that after like the first interaction. She spilled the shit everywhere.

And was just like, oh, I spilled it. Yeah. And that was it. There was no like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. It was just like, oh, I spilled it. But again, to be fair, I was like, that's not really a big deal. You know what I mean? Like, someone could walk away from that like, I can't believe she didn't apologize.

I was just more surprised it didn't happen. She was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'll wipe it out, I'll do whatever. But do whatever but she was just like i'm spilling it anyway here's the rest of them and then she wiped it up yep bye and then she left and i was just like again where's this woman from people like that is what is left of the labor force yeah that's why now hiring is on every fucking thing don't you want to make seven dollars and 26 cents to go give me a Cotton candy drink At a TGI Fridays or whatever

Don't compare it to that Because that's just Maybe the worst thing I've ever done In my life I'll drink a blue fucking Mountain Dew Before that shit You'll eat your reds and yellows I'll eat my reds and yellows

That may have been one of the worst Talk about sick I wouldn't even say it was the worst tasting food we've had. No, but it was. Probably the worst meal we've ever had on C-Sham. Yes. It was the worst. Definitely like the worst for you.

It was just so all over the place. Nothing redeemable. And sticky. Yeah. And sloppy. Yep. It was fucking crazy. Yeah.

Yep. Who the fuck wants that? Nobody. I'm getting angry again. Who the fuck, they made all that shit and they were like, yep. This was a fuck wants that nobody angry again who the fuck they made all that shit and they were like perfect Let's make a whole menu for it and like that's a thing to get people in the door right like here's an insane meal eat this at Outback it was like Well dad wants to come here for his birthday, and he wants the porterhouse. Oh, they have a thing

But I'm weird butter on it. Yeah, it's, I mean, smart. Yeah. They don't got to do shit. Nope. People wouldn't come in for that Friday shit. No. They want to come in and eat their butter and look at their guns.

I want to go to Fridays and have a carnival. They shut down the Fridays. I don't think there's one in Austin, though. I mean, after our review. We throw a lot of weight around here. We have something in the works that might come up soon. Yep. Someone maybe, what I was calling, I don't know if we've settled on this, but I like to call corporate make goods.

Yeah. We might have a corporate make good in the works of. Stay tuned. There might have been an episode where a particular establishment may have heard our plight and are attempting to make good. Yeah. And so we will see where that takes us. They don't get named until they come through. Well, I want to make sure the make good is in our hand.

Right. And then we once again, as heroes do, we have our unbiased opinion. You really got to wonder why they would even reach out to us. Especially after all the things we said about them. The only conclusion we came to is like, it's a losing game, but hey, if we talk about them, they don't care. Yup! It's true. It's not like we're talking to the person that owns the place, it's like some fuckin' other company working for them,

and they just go, hey, if we do this, will you say this? Negative interaction? And I'll just be like, dude, if it's good, if it's bad, I don't give a fuck. I just got a message from corporate whatever and it is clear that they did not read my like the previous conversation however

somebody else is picking up the account however this appears to still be in the works so we'll see it's pretty interesting to temper your expectations this isn't something that should be in the works. No. Right.

Here's a coupon code. And that should be it. And that's it. There's not like a, what's the event? Yep. It's not. Nope. We said you did bad.

Yep. And you'd say, hey, maybe we don't do bad? That's what it is. The end. And then we'll go, we'll take a freebie. It is a testament to the growing influence. Oh, absolutely. They know. They're like, oh no, the face jam guys.

They said that? The jam influence. Half man, half monkey? I don't want my balls to get ripped off. We're not saying he will. We're just saying. I'm not saying he will. I'm just saying that person doesn't want it to happen. And I don't know anyone that does. I don't either. Hey, Jordan,, you wanna teach us about the food? Yeah, this'll be quick.

Espresso butter steak, topped with our rich, bold espresso butter and served with choice of two freshly made sides. If only we had read that before. If only. We were not prepared for the sides. Yeah. And then the waitress made fun of us. She got us. We do a lot, which is definitely abnormal when you go to a restaurant, but we know what we're getting before we get there. Yep. So whenever they go, do you wanna start with appetizers? We're just like actually we're ready for the whole thing Yes, this is this boom. That's it

And so we did that and there was almost like a battle of the wits Yeah, where it's like I'm ready for appetizers and you going well, we have it all and kind of her going We are prepared. Do you have it all? Yep, and then we went through it and ended it's like and we're done now And she's like, and we're done now. And she's like, what about the sides? And we're like, oh, the sides? And then it was four men going, no! She's going, you fucking idiot. You dumb fucker.

Yep. She didn't say that. No. She thought it. She thought it, but also then came back and went, hey, what's up? Yep. There was no grudge held. None.

Yeah. Again, very matter of fact. In her head, she was pointing a gun at us. But again, that was just in her head. I think she was just grudge held. None. Yeah. In her head. Again, very matter of fact. In her head, she was pointing a gun at us, but that was just in her head. I think she was just in her head. She was just holding it. It's true. I'm not going to the extreme. She was just thinking about it.

In her head, she was holding it, saying, want to look at it? I don't know how to shoot it, but you can look at it. Jordan, how about some Presbyterial? Presbyterial. N-A. Make some up. There was no Presbyterial for this food. Yeah, you mentioned that. You know what we need to do?

We could easily get like an ad lib or mad libs type of thing. I'll see if I can make one up. We can just like put in a funny name, funny title, something like that and just like make our own press material. We'll mad lib it baby. There you go. And now

it's time to review the food. Already? It's on the front of the page Usually it's on the back You didn't get any press material And also he only wrote like four real facts Yeah and the only facts there always are This is the same number of facts every episode He only wrote the espresso butter

But you always cheat with the one when it's a repeat restaurant That's true I will give him that But again this is the same number of facts. He knows your M.O., dude. Food's food. I mean, whatever. It was Outback Steakhouse. What do you want?

It was... I agree. How many seasonings did you say that they used on your steak? 16. They have like 16 seasonings that they put on their steak. The mashed potatoes had more seasoning than the steak. Yeah, I agree. And the butter was butter.

There was no espresso in it. I don't know. I perked up a little bit. Maybe that's why you're so like. Sleepy? Yeah. It's confusing. Yeah.

Weird. Espresso makes me tired. Night night. I gotta go to bed. Somebody give me an espresso shot. It was fine. espresso makes me tired night night I gotta go to bed somebody give me an espresso shot it was fine it wasn't really like offending or amazing you know very middle of the road

yeah the drink the first couple of drinks was of it was like not good and then like you get to the part where it's all mixed oh man maybe mine was mine was good from the first sip was it I was shocked you guys were like raving about it and I was just secretly go in my head to going

is something wrong with me it was yeah I mean what is wrong with these people but it was sweet and I could taste the alcohol it's it's pretty much I guess the thing is it was sweet but it wasn't again like Friday's cotton candy like like saccharine I feel like it got it's Kahlua and. I feel like it got to what it was doing after a couple of drinks. And it was pretty good.

Probably didn't drink the whole thing. She really wanted us to have it in a round. Yeah, right. You guys ready for round two? Absolutely not. Yeah, I think you said absolutely not. Who would drink two of these? You were just complaining about your fridge. I'm surprised you wouldn't try to guess. Yeah, right. you said absolutely not. Who would drink two of these? You were just complaining about your fridge.

I'm surprised you wouldn't try to guess. A little liquid lunch, huh? I don't really have a whole lot to say about it. There's not much to say. There wasn't a lot of butter. It was a steak with butter on it. We had the Bloomin' Onion that does not have the same sauce as

Applebee's yeah um what did we give it last time a 30 last time got 30 man we must have been angry they got punished and i remember giving them a 10 or something which you gave them a five it was a five that makes sense oh cool because then it was a bunch of minutes of us going whoa it was pretty good that's pretty cool yeah yeah it was pretty early j That's pretty cool of me. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Early Jordan would have never done it. I'm just saying, January 5th, you were a different man. Oh my god.

You're trying to break me, and I'm close. That's right. That's what I tell the FBI. There's a reason I'm walking free. Everyone else is in jail. Something to think about. I was in New England. Score? 43.

Okay. Okay. I think 43 for it. Nick is making gestures at me that I don't know. What did they look like? He ate it in five seconds. 43 for it. Nick is making gestures at me that I don't know if he looks like he is or disagrees. Like was that I mean he ate it in 5 seconds. Again usually there will be like a clear

sign of like he agrees or he disagrees with what someone said and this was just like oh someone's looking at me I guess I'll move my arms around like I don't know. You're not wearing the mask. I gained nothing from what he did. Moving and still alive. Nothing was communicated. I was going to give it a 40 but I gave it was moving and still alive. Nothing was communicated.

I was going to give it a 40, but I gave it three more for the drink. That's nice. That's nice of you. Threw a couple points at it. Let me just say, you know, we've had some ups and downs in Face Jam. We've gone through some journeys. We've never been shown a picture of a gun before. A new one for us.

If you feel like we keep bringing it up, it's because that's crazy. I'm just getting it out of my system You just keep saying it Again, I'm just like It's not, it's just There was no path to it, it just happened It just went, hey anyway, check this out It's not that we haven't seen a gun before It's like, why did this lady show us a gun

It was just like, oh Okay It's like when people just show you pictures of their babies for no reason yeah hey you want to see this and you go okay but even then you like at least get it like i get it having kids of like i get it it's like so excited it's like that but it's like i my new boy he's not he's nine millimeter i i got the extended man and I was just like, oh, good for you. There you go. Okay.

So it's just, it was very weird. But, you know, Outback certainly falls into the, I feel like the stereotypical just like American chain eateries, right? It's like, it kind of is the McDonald's of steak, in my opinion. Definitely. Like, it's the most, like, you can get steak at Applebee's, you can get steak at Chili's and shit, but Outback is like, we're the steak place, even though we all sell kind of the same steak.

Right. If anything, I would just say they have less options than Applebee's and Chili's. True. Right? So it gets a very, like, it gets a very bad rap of, like, it's just fucking mediocre chain slop and i'll say though not even that australian oh don't even start it on just the stolen valor of australia it's true

um but without without like stacking a list just the shit we've eaten in recent history i'm just sitting there eating it going this is is all pretty good. Yeah, it's all fine. Like the bloomin' onion, this is good. The mac and cheese bite, that was good. The steak, it was fine. Mine was, I think, cooked right of maybe the four of them. It wasn't like that juicy, but I just think that's because of the meat they were using. I was just like, man, this is cooked to what I ordered.

The butter was fine. The drink was better than I thought it was going to be because it wasn't as sweet as i thought it was going to be and i just went yeah i mean i like promotion wise it's they put a piece of butter on the steak i don't know what's here but like food wise i sat there going yeah i get it i get why people love this place it's just safe food that that to a lot of people in america are like we're classing it up tonight. We're going to Outback. And it's like, it's just that level of, yeah, it's sit down in a restaurant, it's dark and it's a steak and not like a cheeseburger.

And I, you know what? I was like, this is pretty good. Outback, you are of the people, the bug people. And so of all things considered and against tyranny and Man we hit it with a 30 which I don't feel bad about I'm just surprised. Yeah, I'm gonna give it a 75 Oh, wow. I enjoyed it. It was good. It was good. Mm-hmm. It was there's not much to say it's out back Yeah, but I wouldn't say that in a bad way. I would say it's out back You know, I wouldn't tell people not to go there. I question why the

fuck you would go there in Texas. Yes, that's a great... That's a good point. We were talking about that. Again, there are real steak places here. Real steak places where I'm from could also just not be good. Here there's a connotation, like, when you say a steak place in Austin, it better be good, right?

It better have Vince Young's name on it. And so, in New Jersey, it's like, you want to go to this steak place? I'm like, well, no, their steak sucks. But it's still a Young's name on it and so so in New Jersey it's like you wanna go to the steak place and I'm like well no their steak sucks but it's still a steak place

and it's open and people go there so Outback's a good option the cost is a little higher at Outback too than you would at Applebee's or Chili's yeah Eric was nervous

about his card work he did keep saying it might not go through yeah and then the woman threatened to have him go wash dishes in the kitchen

to which I immediately said, can we film it? And I was kind of hoping it would happen, but it did not. So it was like, it's like 26 bucks a plate, which isn't crazy, but for that price. For the quality that you get. Yeah, it's kind of like, oh, okay. I mean, maybe it's a little high,

right? It's not much. I'll pay like 45 at like a Ruth's Chris for a $40 million. But I will say, that's going to be a barrier for people. Going from $25 a plate to $50 a plate. And this is a $25 a plate place.

You can bring the kids and they can be I would say it's a little more, again, it's a little more expensive than what it's worth. But I'm not comparing it to like a Ruth's Chris. I'm comparing it to we're not sitting in a booth at McDonald's. it's worth, but I'm not comparing it to like a Ruth Chris. I'm comparing it to, we're not sitting in a booth at McDonald's. It's like a night out. You know, I'm doing air quotes.

You can go to a nice restaurant in that comparison and it's $25 a plate. So I get it. I mean, it's why they do well. Yep. Put some butter on it. Amazing. Yeah.

That's an- Innovation. It's an average score of 59 yeah so probably higher than that Jordan wanted it yeah you know um yeah it's fine I was gonna rate it they didn't get punished I was gonna rate it in 80 and then Jordan talked and I went that's too much yeah you're not wrong about anything you said you're just you and I me yeah and so I was you and I could say the exact same thing and agree with each other.

Yeah. And they give it vastly different scores. And then also I. Based on what our expectations are. I agree with you on your own score. Right. Yeah. That makes sense for you.

And the way you phrase it is like, it's fine. It didn't do anything offending, but it didn't do anything great either. Sure. And I don't think it needs to be a 75 because of that. No, that's fine. I just like, man, we've eaten a lot of stuff that's bad. You know, a lot. Again, I'm not just like, ooh, we've eaten a lot of stuff that's bad. You know, a lot. Not just like, ooh, this tastes bad, but like, this is too sweet.

This is fucking mush. At this point. We didn't get what we ordered. This was like, we got everything we ordered. This one didn't have Cheetos on it, which was great. Dude, this one would have been uneventful if not for everything except the food. Exactly. We would have been like, I don't know what to say.

We went out back, we ate it, and it was fine. If the lady didn't show us a picture of her gun, this be like this episode would be lost it was decent without it but it was the topper for sure for sure um what are we snacking it's a stoic ride back all right a lot of just silence uh this was sent uh to us from overseas i don't have a note from who it was from but we got many a bag am i am i uh reading that we're about to nosh on some Percy pigs? Baby, we're about to eat some Percy pigs. Good throw, better catch. Great one.

Here you go, bud. Oh, I get my own bag. Horrible catch. Okay throw, bad catch. So we got some Percy pigs. You were so surprised. The reason... They appear to be like gummies?

Made with real fruit juice. The reason that we're eating these today is because it's literally the last day we can. I was literally going to say it was like best before 30-11-2021. What month is 30? Guys, guys, again, best before. Yeah, exactly. You can eat it. Yeah.

It's just not at its best. We don't want it to be subpar. That's all I'm saying. Some people, look, I just gave Outback a 75. I don't need it to be at its best. I don't like how photorealistic these gummies are. Yeah, usually gummies are very much like, this looks like an actual little pig face.

Like, they even drew little lines to make wrinkles in the pig's head. Yeah, like, there's details to it. It's just like, why are you kidding me? Yeah, but you don't eat me. Okay. All right. That's a gummy. I'm going to eat it. Oh, fuck, it's don't eat meat. Okay. All right. That's a gummy. I'm going to eat it.

Oh, fuck. It's vegetarian. Not vegan. I feel like I can taste that it's vegetarian. What country is this from? Germany. These are wrinkly pigs. It's fine.

It tastes different from how gummies taste in the US. Yeah. They're thicker. It's hard to explain. Yeah. They're chewier, but not stick US. Yeah. They're thicker. It's hard to explain. They're chewier but not stickier. Yeah. They're not gummier. Hard to explain without looking at them but

gummy that we're used to is like that clear Use portrait mode on this. Gummy is like that clear like I just think of a bog standard gummy bear. And that's what this has on the ears. But the body is made out of like, it's like a different kind of gummy. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It's like. There's two different gummies going on here. The main, by the body, I mean the head. It's like, I don't know, it still tastes like a gummy, but it's hard to explain. It's kind of like taffy. I'm tearing it apart. I want to say taffy.

It's not. It's close. It's not taffy, but I want to keep saying it. You know what? You know what? And it's gummy but it's hard to explain It's kinda like taffy, I'm tearing it apart I wanna say taffy, it's not taffy but I wanna keep saying it You know what it's different, like circus peanuts have like a texture to them Yeah, it's like that It's gummy, that's it, it's gummy, it's still a gummy taste but it's got a different texture than regular gummies Which makes it taste different The ears are gummy Yeah, the ears are standard like see-through gummy

But you can't see through this shit. Why? I don't know. They're fine. They're not great. They're not revolutionary. 60. I don't know why the fuck they're shaped like little pig faces.

Jordan said 60. That's a higher score than I thought he'd give, but... I'll... Go 65. Okay. They're fine. I'm not screaming, wow! No, I think Okay. They're fine. I'm not screaming, wow. No, I think 62.5 is fine.

I could eat. I could tear through a nice little bag of these, but after the martini with lunch, I think three was kind of like- I wish we'd gotten a letter explaining more about them. Here's a pig. That's the letter. Eat this pig.

They're all from by air mail. Hey. Hey. I got to tell you this too. I got to tell you this too. I got to tell you this too. I don't know if you know this. This is a little PSA to the audience. People are fucking up.

Don't send me your snacks. Why are people sending you the snacks? I went to go get shit the other day that was in my name. We saved the address. I say exactly what the fuck you want. Let me tell you. I didn't send it to myself.

Let me tell you. I'm furious. I said I got a box. It's like, you got packages. So I go over there to check and I got like three fucking packages addressed to me. And it says, and then, but like written all over the box says FaceJam. And I went, I'm not touching this. And it's literally sitting next to the pile of FaceJam shit that's addressed to you.

What the fuck? And so I'd assumed you would just rifle through my mail and take it, and you haven't. So there's snacks, hidden under my name. Don't send it to the Buck King. hidden under my name. Don't send it to the Buck King. No, do you know who you send it to? You send it to

Face Jam care of Eric Badour. That's you. 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. That's the address. That's where you can send the stuff. You don't even need

to spell it right. They'll figure it out. You won't spell it right. No, yeah, you try. You'll miss the first you or you'll miss the second you. Or there's two. Let me tell you this.

Or you're everyone who works here. Let me tell you what you can miss the second you. There's two? Let me tell you this. Are you everyone who works here? Let me tell you what you can also do if you want, which I would love and other people are probably going to get confused and angry about it. You can also address it to Mr. Yucky if you want. Well, you know. You can address it to Mr. Yucky. I wouldn't do that. At Rooster Teeth.

Make sure you put Face Jam care of Mr. Yucky. Yeah, there you go. Face Jam care of Mr. Yucky. The jester of the bug. Also, you don't have to do it. You're not doing it. They are. I'm a classic Joker type.

Not a big deal. Yeah. Yeah, more like jester, not like. I'm like a jokersaw. He's pretty damaged. I'm like Jigsaw and Joker together. I'm jokersaw. Damn, dude.

Yeah. I'm pretty fucking wild. You're not damaged. You're just like bent. It's like, I'm a little bent. You got like, you ran into the corner of the wall. It's the thing where it's like, I'm a little bent. You ran into the corner of the wall. It's the thing where it's like, I hit my head on the back of something at an Applebee's.

You got a ding there. Are you going to get that fixed? It's not really worth it. I got to replace the whole door. It's like $900. That's me jokes off. Are you talking about my car? I'm talking about anybody's car. Hey, I saw it. Right in what they call the sweet spot.

Yep. Pull in and go, yes! Oh, we can't fix it. It's on the crease. Uh-oh. Want a new door? So you can send snacks there. You can also check out our Voodoo Ranger road trip stuff.

I think by the time this is out, our last- They should all be out. I think everything will be out. And that's a total of four vodcasts where we're eating different foods and two road trip videos where we went from Austin to a nice little hall.

Yeah, a nice catalog of work on that trip. Thank you Voodoo Ranger for sponsoring that. You can also go to store.roosterteeth.com You can pick up a bunch of our Face Jam stuff

but if you want to pick up that collab shirt that we did with Voodoo Ranger proceeds go to Able Gamers. So that is that's something you can do there and you can cheers with the monkey and the Voodoo Ranger skeleton man.

But you can also get the 100% eat Christmas shirt and the monkey off on a shelf shirt. Also, get the 100% eat ass variant shirt out now. People are all about it. We're recording this on Garbo Tuesday and people are going fucking wild on Garbo Tuesday, bro. That's really funny. I

forgot. I haven't done anything about it. It's the's the garbo day oh you can also go and pick up uh in uh you pick up an i'm just little hoodie classic face jam stuff you know a great classic from face gf the face jam joke remember that episode we were all rolling in laughter yeah about you being so little i mean can we i know's already out, but can we do a quick retcon on that and then just put, instead of I'm so little, Michael broke my legs and now I'm two inches taller. And now I'm tall. Too short, break your legs.

It was just, and then I went, huh, maybe this is from Face Jam and I forgot. Guys, is this from Face Jam? And everyone went, no. No, it's not. And then I went, I don't this is from Face Jam and I forgot. Guys, is this from Face Jam? And everyone went, no. No, it's not. And then I went, I don't give a shit. Cat or gun. Cat or gun, that's from Face Jam.

You remember where you heard cat or gun. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Make sure you send it to somebody you want to see your gun. What the fuck? I don't know. I don't like you saying send and gun. Send a gun. Goodbye.