100% Eat - Outback Steakhouse Peppercorn Short Rib

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Outback Steakhouse Peppercorn Short Rib so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about not knowing if they've been to Outback before but probably, A Serbian Film, and dedicated Bloomologists.   Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam10 and use code facejam10) DoorDash (DoorDash app, enter code FACEJAM) and Hawthorne (http://hawthorne.co and use code face jam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. My co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Good day, mate. Oh. Crikey. Oh, okay. All right. Put another shrimp on the bobby. Because today, we're reviewing Outback Steakhouse. No. Back on its own show.

No. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh no Oh no For our four Australian listeners Very sorry For dunking on you so fucking hard That's what they sound like

But you're welcome for reviewing What is probably your favorite restaurant Outback Steakhouse They love it You know what else they love? Forsters Dude it's Australian for beer Australian for beer Australian for beer

Strya mate I heard they have like a bunch of beers That we've never even fucking heard of Like they have like their own shit That like we don't get over here They have like their own special Australian beers I've had many of Australian beers It's yum yums

Are they good? Fuck Yeah Yeah Australia's got good beer New Zealand has a good craft beer scene as well. I'd call them scrummy. What? I'd say scrummy, but that sounds like an insult, but it's not.

Australia always overshadows New Zealand, and they deserve a shout out. So there it is. They have Lord of the Rings, though. I mean, if New Zealand had New Zealand Steakhouse or whatever, then we would give them a shout out on this fucking show. But what's your favorite New Zealand had New Zealand Steakhouse or whatever, then we would give a shout out on this fucking show. What's your favorite New Zealand restaurant? The Shire. Second breakfast?

Yeah. I am Shire LaBeouf. This is where I live. That's not even. It just popped into my head. I had to say it. I couldn't hold it in. Okay.

It's not a joke at all. But in just plain English today, if you didn't catch that, we're reviewing the Outback Steakhouse Peppercorn Short Rib. Oh, man. Short rib. They only had short ones. They didn't have any long ones? No long ribs. That was the first thing I think you guys said when I said pepperc. Short rib. They only had short ones. They didn't have any long ones? No long ribs.

That was the first thing I think you guys said when I said peppercorn short rib. It was immediately, do they have long ribs? I almost said to you right now, but I didn't remember, did we ask for long ribs? Because much like Shire LeBuff, I get an idea, I say it, and I forget about it forever. I mean, it was so immediate when you asked for it. It was just like, short rib. Do they have a long rib?

Okay, alright. And then I think, I think, now that the memories are flooding back, I may have said, can I get two short ribs and add them together? Yes! Uh-huh. Yeah. Started asking about medium ribs. Yeah, I was like, I don't said, can I get two short ribs and add them together? Yes. Started asking about medium ribs. Yeah, I was like,

I don't want a long or a short. I want the medium. I'll say this. We dodged a bullet on this one. I feel like. We were real close. They really came through, yeah. We were real close to eating was it some sort of monstrosity from Charles cheese is that what it was

Charles entertainment cheese had a like cookie churro thing and some kind of like candy twist Christmas concoction and I was gonna get that and then surprise you guys a little

Pasquales. But, yeah, you could have had Pasquales. That would have been awful. No. Yeah, there was no food in it. Yeah, it was mainly dessert. I like the dessert on the side, and I think the closest we came to that was IHOP, but it was still a lot of breakfast food.

Oh, yeah. This was just straight-up candy. Speaking of IHOP, but it was still a lot of breakfast food. This was just straight up candy. Speaking of IHOP, that shit is back. I saw a commercial for it. They have a slightly new twist, but they still have the fucking candied jewels

on top that they're literally reusing from last year. They've just been sitting on a shelf next to the elf and they're like, throw them on the pancakes, idiot. Yeah. They're going to break some teeth. We're going to have to start thinking about revisiting restaurants soon. Yeah.

I think that we can probably keep pushing it, but now we've gone a year and I feel comfortable and confident. We should be happy with what we've accomplished. Right. We could go and start kind we've accomplished on that front. Right. We could go and start kind of repeating restaurants, but we got to figure out, are we still doing facts? We can either come up with something else instead of facts,

or there could be new facts that we didn't cover. I like how you keep saying we. Yeah, I don't know why you're- We the show. I mean, the idea that I would have to write more facts about these restaurants after I'm already calling all these fucking shitty articles for all these facts already is like, just pull my teeth out. I don't want to do that.

I think, I mean, he makes up most of them already. They're not made up. These are facts. Not only does he make them up, but it's usually the night before at best. It's not morning of. It would be him making it up in the car as we're plugging our microphones in. That would be it. Definitely, this was at 8.30 a.m. while I had a cup of coffee.

I went, oh, yeah, we got to do that in a couple hours. I'm like, oh, we got plenty. Oh, we're doing, oh, fuck, I have to pick up the food at 11. Shit. At least you said we have to do that in a couple of hours, not 15 minutes. I just forgot.'ve full-on forgot a panicked message from michael laying in bed yeah yeah i think i started it with fuck my ass um i think it was fuck my whole ass i was running

errands all day today and um yesterday was my last like work day for the holidays. So this is, I think this is coming out in 2021, right? This is January episode. Yeah, I think this is our first January episode. We're recording this on the 23rd of December. So yesterday was my last like full work day. And all I had to do today was Face Jam. So I was doing errands all morning.

Totally forgot about Face Jam. Got home, sat down for for i kid you not maybe 90 seconds and was like ah and i'm done and i glanced at the clock and it was 15 minutes from when i was supposed to be here which is not possible i can't make it here in 15 minutes and i went oh shit and uh i hauled out i sent you i sent you guys this morning morning. It was at 11.09. I looked at it. Dude, I read it and went, got it, and then I deleted it from my brain. Just like the short rib joke.

Oh, yeah. Well, joke is a stretch. Bit. Most things that I say aren't jokes. It's things that make me laugh And no one else But we made it We're here

We've eaten the short rib It was short It was hardly a rib We'll get into that later A tease I like that we're teasing the food now Are we learning after a year to tease the food? We used to be really good about teasing the food now are we learning after a year to tease the food i like it we used to be really good about teasing the food and then yeah we kind of stopped

making the food the centerpiece of this yeah somewhere somewhere about episode i want to say five or six up until now it got away from the food but maybe this is where we bring it back you know this is what are we at are we around 30? We gotta be past 30? Maybe around 40 we talk about the food again. I don't know. I'm just, maybe that's We're talking about what do we do when we revisit restaurants talk about the food more? I don't know. I'm just, maybe that's the wrong direction to take this show. It's a pretty wild idea. I don't know. I'm just... Maybe that's the wrong direction to take this show. It's a pretty wild idea. I don't know.

I might not be on board. I'm definitely not. I can't stand that. So... We'll talk about it in a meeting that's not in the middle of this podcast. Is it even a meeting then, though, if it's not in the middle of this podcast? That's true. We don't have meetings that aren't in the middle of this podcast. This is my

favorite show because I condense all the work into one recording section. We don't have to meet of this. This is my favorite show because I condense all the work into one recording session. We don't have to meet at all. In all honesty, every conversation outside this show, shy of Eric saying, hey, these are the food options. Which do we want? It's all just nothing. It's just us. It really is, yeah.

Fucking around or going, look at this funny thing. Or like, look at this sauce monkey. Like none of it has to do with this show. I think the only thing in the history of this show that has been a real meeting was the van stuff. That was like a couple of meetings. Yes, we did have a meeting for that. Other than that. Like a meeting for the logo.

That was all just done in a Slack channel. Yeah, yeah. We haven't met about a meeting for the logo. That was all just done in a Slack channel. Yeah, yeah. We haven't met about anything for this show. The only time we talk about this show and what we're going to do is in the middle of the episode like we're doing right now. This whole episode, what are we, like 10 minutes in? Like we talked about, hey, we're going to do Outback Steakhouse. So let's talk about the future of FaceTime. Hang on, hang on.

We, you know, Australia, yeah, we went there, you know. Yeah, we did the bits. You know what? You're right. Let's talk about the future of FaceTime. Hang on, hang on. We, you know, Australia, yeah, we went there, you know. Yeah, we did the bits. You know what? You're right. Let's talk about Outback. Let's talk about our past experience with the restaurant. I like it. Okay. Jordan, you been?

I've had Bloomin' Onion before, I guess. I can't remember the last time I went to an Outback Steakhouse, though. Like, I see their commercials all the time. There's the guy who who up to a certain like recently was like a disembodied voice and then he appeared in person in a commercial and he didn't look how i thought he would look right uh and then he always says 999 which is really funny yeah he says it funny uh australian people are just there for our amusement, right? I suppose so.

They're generally really nice, too. They are, yeah. I like Daniel Ricciardo. He drinks champagne out of his shoes sometimes. That's funny. We're slipping from Outback again. What the fuck? He's talking about his shoeie.

I was going to talk about the $9.99 thing, because that was... False advertising? Yeah, that's not how much this costs. And Jordan was fucking floored. Oh, no, stop that. This was probably our most expensive meal we've ever had on this show. Are you serious? And there were only three of us, not four.

And it was still our most expensive episode. You know what sucks about that? Like, Nick. Like, man. During the holidays, too. R.I.P.? Who's gonna edit this? Uh, Dave?

Do you have his contact? Because I thought Nick knew him. No, I talked to Dave yesterday. Oh, okay. Thank God. I haven't in with Dave so far. What are you worried about, Michael, that he won't get it? What?

Why are you worried about us having his contact? Well, because who's going to edit the show if no one knew Dave? Guys, you might not know this. I'm a producer. I've got it covered. Okay, I'm just saying, like, you might not know this. I'm a producer. I've got it covered. Okay, I'm just saying, like, you know. You're right. I don't know.

I don't know. I'll question that because I was here during the whole Let's Sync the Podcast thing, and it seemed all lost without Nick. So if Nick's out of the picture, I'm worried about how we're going to get this show on the airwaves. We don't need Nick for this. We have Craig. We have Craig.

All right. Yeah, okay. But someone then needs to take Craig's work and make it into something that people can listen to, and that's Nick. And if we don't have Nick, we need Dave. If we don't have Dave's contacts, this is all for...

We're talking into the void. We're just doing a show for the ghosts now. But I have Dave's contacts. I'm a producer. I have it covered. Okay. You don't have to worry about it. So you say.

You guys, I'm marginally worried. All right. And like a boomerang have it covered. You don't have to worry about it. So you say. I'm marginally worried. All right. And like a boomerang, it comes back to us, and we talk about Outback again. Okay. Nick's still alive as far as I'm aware, by the way, because people are going to ask. Did you think that, like, imagine if that's how we let people know that he really died.

I guarantee you there's a couple people that went, oh, thank God. It was Chewbacca all over again. There's a couple people just now. That bought it. And that's why. Disney had to blow up Chewbacca. Right.

And then literally in the next scene. Show him standing there. And go. Oh he's fine. He must have been in another transport. I mean. You know. Monkey Mask.

He's kind of Chewbacca. Like he's like a Chewbacca, monkey mask. He's kind of Chewbacca. He's like her Chewbacca. He's our Chewbacca. He's gargling Listerine in their eyes. Three Han Solos and one Chewbacca. I wish. You're more of a Jar Jar. What?

No, he's one of those Ugly ass little Rat mole things It's like biting the wires He's salacious crumb Is that the thing with Jabba? Yeah I had no idea what it's called But I thought of some ugly little rat thing And went, it's gotta be him

He's biting the wires Hey, you're a very popular character I've been Outback I used to go fairly often He's biting the wires. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. Hey, you're a very popular character. I've been to Outback. I used to go fairly often. What was your go-to? Well, as a kid in New Jersey, I can't think of a nice steak place that my family went to anyway. So if we went out to dinner and we wanted steak it was either you know applebees or chilies there was a sizzler we didn't really go to sizzler that's good um or it would be outback

if it was like i want steak it would it would usually be outback steakhouse because there wasn't really many other options or at least like, again, where I grew up, if there was a fancy steak place or a nice real restaurant steak place, I sure didn't know about it, and we weren't welcome there. So if it was, hey, we're going out for steak, we'd go to Outback fairly often. It's like a family. I never really went by myself. But, yeah, basically have never been since I grew up.

Even before I moved. There'd be no reason for me to, I've never been, I gotta go to Outback. Certainly not in this city. No. Fuck, you'd be, it's a crime if you're going out back in Austin. There's, I had to drive like 20, 25 minutes to get to it. Like, it's really, it's out there. It's like suburbs, like way out there.

But who's the, so who's the demographic for it? Like who's, is it like older parents who are like date nighted out back? Is that? I don't know, man. It's a conundrum. I don't know how it exists here. I really don't. conundrum. I don't know how it exists here.

I really don't. You can go to HEB or Walmart and get as good or better quality meat. The meat here is really good. Yeah. Let alone like a farmer's market or something.

Let's take the steak out of the equation in the steakhouse, which is insane, but just take that out of the equation in the steakhouse, which is insane. But just take that out of the equation. At least they have, like, they have the Bloomin' Onion. And they have other. Don't you fucking say awesome, Blossom. It was close. And that's the thing.

Like, they have that stuff. But what makes, like, what makes this place stand out? Like, I just don't get it. I don't know. They just, like, swooped in, man. You go to Outback Steakhouse when you're in the suburbs, you don't feel like driving into town, and you're just going to get a dinner.

I don't know. It's certainly not cheap, as we've established. No, it's not cheap. Noi 99 my ass. I think they just got in early with the like, we're gonna be a steakhouse, but like a chain, like McDonald's-esque steakhouse.

Though everybody sells steak. Like I said, Chili's and Friday's and Applebee's, they all sell steak. And Outback, I wouldn't put much higher than that, if higher at all. It's the same sort of like, eh, it's steak. It's not you know, it's not fucking Perry's or Vince Young's or Fleming the same sort of like it's steak it's not you know it's not fucking perry's or vince young's or fleming's or any of like this is a steakhouse um and like yeah those are

expensive but like you said this ain't cheap it's not this was expensive you want to say expensive it's maybe twice as much for a steak maybe maybe like 50% more for like a holy shit. This is an amazing like chef prepared, you know, a really good cut of steak. But like they just nailed that American. I don't know. Like, like, I don't know the word nostalgia. It's got to be the branding, the intrigue for. Yeah, it's so branded.

It's so like, you think of Outback, it's like, oh, Outback steaks. And like, it would be on my mind. I never think they got the best steaks ever. But especially if I'm traveling, it's another one of those. They're right next to hotels. There's always a fucking Outback, like in a shopping center, right next to a hotel. And it's, I'll eat there. I'll go eat there. I'm not going, oh, yeah. and it's i'll eat there i'll go eat there i'm not

going oh yeah but it's like cool it's close i didn't rent a car so i can walk there you know or if i have to get a lift or something it's two minutes away uh and you it's like it's that safe food you know what i mean it's not great but you know what it is and it's probably going to be the same every single time and you get the blooming onion. So who doesn't love shoving onions in your mouth? Just another word on the branding. They really do set themselves apart by

having the Australian guy doing the voiceover, and then for whatever reason, their slogan lives rent-free in your head where somebody will say no rules and then you'll just be like, just right. Yeah, it's true. Like I said, they swooped in. They laid down

the groundwork and people started saying it and then people go, why? I don't know. I can't stop. Help me. I don't know. I've never been to Outback Steakhouse, but I can't stop thinking about them. And then there's a drop bear.

Oh. Watch out for the drop bears. Watch out. They'll get in the back of your ute. Yeah. Their poison barbs insert themselves in the back of your neck. What? Yeah.

That's how the drop bears attack. And with that, I'm out. They have poison barbs on their toes. I am out of Australian knowledge. I have thrown out everything. I'm learning a lot about Australia, but I think we need to learn something about Outback Steakhouse. How are we going to do that?

It would be like learning about Australia. What do you mean? It's the facts section. Oh, the Outback Steakhouse facts. Michael, right here. Got it. Nailed it. Dialing it in.

And target locked. Take it from the Outback Steakhouse fact sheet. So he's doing it again. He's just using their facts. Copy paste, baby. Restaurants feature authentic art and imagery representing the rich heritage of the Australian Outback. Do they? That's exactly why I used this fact.

What year does that rich heritage start? Well, I'll throw this out here. I'm very uneducated. Yeah. And I go, and I went. I think feature is probably the stretchiest word in this sentence. Big feature is probably the stretchiest word in this sentence. I think they need to go with something like littered here and there with authentic art imagery.

I just don't, like, that's one of the first facts on that fact. They have a full-on fact sheet. Like, it's an action. It's called fact sheet. Are they stealing our bit? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Sounds like it. Sounds like it. Word's getting around, dude. It Sounds like it. Word's getting around,

dude. It's fucked up. Word's getting around. But, like, they said that they feature art and imagery representing the rich heritage. What is that? Of the Australian Outback. What is that? Is that Aboriginal people? Like, dude, do you think that that's what they feature in Outback Steakhouse? I fucking don't. I don't

know. Now, all of a a sudden it's very appropriated. My thought is it starts at taking it from them. I don't, like, I don't. Yeah, they're authentic artifacts stolen right from the Outback. Yes. And put on display for you Americans. That's exactly how it feels. Yeah, and Americans go, Americans see it and they go, our rich heritage.

And it's just like one guy with a, you know, like a crocodile Dundee hat. And it says, this is where it all started. And then Americans look at it and go, Americans look at it and they go, just like Christopher Columbus. And they just nod. And they go, uh-huh, uh-huh, us too. Crocodile Dundee, the founder of Australia. We were the first ones too. Go us.

In our history until this point. Cool. Opening in 1988 in Tampa, Florida, Outback Steakhouse took a cue from Crocodile Dundee, which premiered two years earlier, wanting American food, Australian fun. I tried to open a similar concept with a Serbian film. However, I was quickly shut down by health and food safety workers.

I just figure there's a lot of untapped potential from other nations. Serbian film, not the right way to do it but that's okay you know back to the drawing board what do you think the percentages of people who know what that is oh i hope also who have also who have who have then there's no who it is then there's who's seen it yes that's this is a 10 percenter of a 10 percenter this is like yeah there this is for the two people who are like oh shit and then that's that's pretty much it i tried to think of another movie with like another nation uh i really got that a serbian film was the one that really jumped out at me jordan are you one of those two people i am not have you seen it or do you even know what it is I this joke is not

for me in any shape or form uh I'm a 10 of a 10 I think you that's not surprising to anyone forgot the movie existed until I just read it and I went oof yeah that's it

it's not something you want to go run and watch is it American food Serbian fun or Serbian food Yeah, that's it. It's not something you want to go run and watch. Is it American food Serbian fun or Serbian food American fun? Oh, no, it's American food Serbian fun. It's, yeah, American food is Serbian film. It's one of those, you know, when Human Centipede came out and they were like, they did it just to do it. It's like one of those movies, right?

Oh, yeah. Where you're just like, hey, does this cross the line? Because we just did it. Yeah. Does this upset you? Like the entire movie is like, what about this? Now what about this? And it's like, okay, okay. Cool.

Happy ending though on Christmas day big smiles god Jesus you watch the Harry Potter series and then like leading up to Christmas you watch Serbian film

on Christmas day wrap up the holidays Jesus Christ in 2019 a Myrtle Beach woman sued on Christmas Day. That's how you wrap up the holidays. Jesus Christ. In 2019, a Myrtle Beach woman sued Outback Steakhouse after she claimed she ate a sweet potato

with glass shards inside. Reached out for comment, Outback said, crikey, reckon the taste was chock-a-block with glass. We're right,

devo, and it'll be hard yacka getting that Sheila to come round game. I hope they lose. That's not a real quote. What are you talking about? You're being a little funny boy. The man is ruining the sanctity of a quote, right? What do you mean? We can make jokes.

That's what they said. We can laugh here, but when I say and I quote and it's made up, that's your crossing the line. And it's coming out of your mouth too. Yours is why we can't trust the mainstream media. Shit like this.

You're one of them now. These are just alternative folks. Now. Yeah, now. You finally crossed the line. Oh, I'm like, say hi to you and Phil. Go say hi to your friend Peter. Eric's over here like, does this upset you? Yeah.

Crikey. Ooh. Who's under the blanket? With many imitators, Outback claims there is only one Bloomin' Onion, which are crafted by, quote, dedicated Bloomologists. And I believe they did say that. They did.

A highly lauded title earned when the day shift manager, Kevin, takes four minutes to show you how to fry the onion, but 11 minutes to remind you not to eat it because it's for the customer. A step that has stripped up many an Outback employee. And every so often they have to remind them, don't reach into the fryer to eat it.

You're a dedicated bloomologist. Keep your hands out of the hot oil. Do you think it's just there's just one person per restaurant and they just like that has the title. Let me work. Leave me to my craft.

I think that there's a man in a chef's hat doing all the Bloomin' Onions but there's a rat secretly underneath his hat controlling him to do the Bloomin' Onions.

Do you think this is like the was it P. Terry's? Is it the P. Terry's birthday cake chef? Uh huh. Oh P. Terry's birthday cake chef? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. The dedicated birthday cake. Yeah.

One blooming onion guy. It's just, I am the bloom all in. It is my burden. It is my passion. It's my, this is my cross to bear. These hens, they were born to bloom. Final fact, and I got to pause immediately because he says, when NASCAR driver Kevin Hardwick, is this the same Kevin?

Do we know? No, different Kevin. Day shift manager Kevin is a different Kevin. It's just interesting that knowing he made up the last part, you think he just went, I don't know, that guy's name's Kevin. I'll just say Kevin. Should have changed names. Now you're just confusing him.

Boy, I messed up. And you're confusing me because his name is not Kevin Hardwick. What's his name? It's Kevin Harvick. I copied and pasted that name. Dude, I copied. Hang on. That line?

This is copied and pasted, this part. Maybe this is a different Kevin. I don't think so. Maybe this is the day shift manager. Maybe this is the day shift manager. Maybe this is the day shift manager. They threw him in the car. Hey, your name's close enough. Get in there. He's his

body double. Don't we just have to look alike? No, no, no. As long as your name sounds alike, it's fine. Does it have to be the same? No, no, no. Just close. Kevin Harvick is the pride of Bakersfield, California, and that's not saying a lot. Oh, God. Oh, man.

That's like the saddest thing that you could be. Isn't that where Sherlock Holmes lives? Bakersfield, California? Yeah. Yeah, Bakersfield. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Nailed it. Right next to Downey, California, where the prime minister lives. No, that's Iron Man. When NASCAR driver Kevin Hardwick places among the top ten finalists in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series, you can get a free Bloomin' Onion by saying the phrase Bloomin' Monday to their servers. Everything in this sentence coupled with that $600 stimulus check has made me an enemy of this once great nation.

And I will not rest until we have Bloomin' Tuesdays or maybe even Wednesdays. Well, he's got to place in the top three if you want Tuesday and Wednesday. Shit. Also, what does that even mean? It says when he places. Like, did they rig it? He's got to place in the top three if you want Tuesday and Wednesday. Shit. Also, what does that even mean? It says when he places. Did they rig it? Do we know he's- When?

Is this like the election all over again? How do they know? The cars all cross the finish line, and somebody's going, stop the count. Stop the count. Stop the count until- Stop it at nine, and then Wait for Kevin to cross And then he's ten We're gonna

Start counting We're gonna look We're gonna look Like we have egg on our face Because like That six hundred Might not even happen That's true

Yep He said no Yep He said no Too much No Let me ask you this right here Yeah

Okay so that That was the last fact, which is great, because we're on to spit and silly. Imagine, what would you do with that $600? Would you just, like, what fantasy would you fulfill? You've been out of work for months, and your bills are piling up, and you're like, behind on

someone. But you have $600 free dollars. By the grace of God himself, bestows upon you six fat ones. I mean, I still have some of that 1,200 left over that I'm scrimping. Oh, wow. That's smart.

Yeah, I've made that last. Yeah, you've really stretched that 12 and now this 600 gives you the other breathing room. That'll last you another nine months I would think. Probably, yeah. Just because you've been so good with the 12 that the six should really get you there. months, I would think. Probably, yeah. Just because you've been so good with the 12, that the 6 should really get you there. Yeah, I've been eating scraps off the floor to save money.

From the way this guy scrimps and saves. Mm-hmm. Get a van. Yeah, I mean. Can I give you a little van update? It's not in the sheet. Uh-oh. Sure.

Okay, yeah, what's up? All right, quick segue. The van works. Yeah, yeah right it passed inspection that's whose inspection i i'll be honest i don't believe it i don't believe it the van is street legal was it not before what well way it wasn't no way here's it was questionable here's thing. You put us in that thing. The audience might sit there and go, oh, the van passed inspection. You don't know. Like, if this isn't a lie, it's a, this is more of a miracle than the vaccine happening. Okay. And Dolly Parton didn't even help us with this.

To describe this thing as a flaming death trap. I can't even say on wheels because all the wheels didn't roll. They decided to stop rolling. Somehow it took nine months to buy a van. We got one after looking at many

vans. So many vans. Is this it? Is this it? We had a mechanic check it before it was purchased the thing arrives just a flaming piece of shit it doesn't run it doesn't roll it rolled the seats aren't attached it caught on fire at one point literally nothing and then god knows how much money got spent fixing this thing instead of buying one that just worked. Listen, when you scrimp and save the way that I do, you can make $600 go a really long way.

Do we have to give our stimulus money to the company to cover the cost of the van repairs now? Listen, the money doesn't have to go to the company. That's ridiculous. It goes to Gene Johnson Auto and it will be, don't worry the company. That's ridiculous. It goes to Gene Johnson Auto and it will be... Don't worry about it. It's fine. But here's the thing. If we go around that corner right now,

there might be a van. Do you have the keys? No. Well, what the fuck? We can't drive it yet. It doesn't have the tires. We need new tires. Oh my god. Well, fuck me. Then how did it pass inspection? Did they fix the problem where the brakes were catching on fire? They catch fine now, and they work good, and they're fine.

Catch fire is what I said. No, I understand. What do you mean? We don't have the right wheels. What does that mean? No, no. We have tires on it. They're just, you know, a little old. So, involved. And one of them has, you know, a little old. So, involved.

And one of them has, you know, like, have you ever had, like, a tire that's, like, really old? And then it has, you can see, like, the wire kind of. Yeah, it has that on one of them. And what's crazy is that won't pass inspection. No, no, no. So now I'm going back to the lie you told us. No. The inspection, the inspection is just for the registration,

and you can pass that with the tires that way. That's fine because it goes. So it goes, but we have to buy new tires for it. But don't worry. I got a guy who's got – I have a tire guy, and we're getting new tires for it, and it's fine. Tony Jr., how much do the tires cost? More than the van did?

More than the van initially cost or more than we've put into the van? Oh, more than the van initially cost. Oh. Well, we want the good tires, right? Imagine if we just had a good van. Uh-huh. We did! It's a great van! Before you lie to my face, I just bought two

tires. I know how much tires are. Okay. But that's only two. But do you know how much four tires are? Well, I imagine it's cheaper than two, right? Yeah. The more you buy, the more you save. That's generally how it works. The guy kept telling me, buy three, it's cheaper, and I spit. Whoa.

Not at him, because it was over the phone. Do we have the same tire guy? He's trying to sell me five. I'm like, what do we need a fifth one for? Like, it doesn't go on the car. We'll put it on the... Anyway... It would look cool on the back.

There's a lot in the works, and I just... I hope you guys are excited to spend a lot of time in the van. We're going to be taking the van around. We're going to pick up food in the van. We're going to... Are the seats attached? Did they fix that? The two front seats are attached, yes.

Okay, there are four of us. Right. Right. Uh-huh, right. There's, it's almost, the inside is almost done. Did anyone vacuum it yet? I don't know what inspection this thing passed. An ocular pat down. Someone looked at it and went, looks okay to me.

It's a van. And then someone went, why does that guy have two eye patches and then they were like I don't know he just likes he doesn't like glasses the state of Texas says take this thing on the road it's good to go get some Carl's Jr. idiots

if I'm gonna put my faith in anything it's the beautiful state of Texas that's what it is. I just feel, with a little beep. Beep. That was for the great state of Texas.

That was for Ted Cruz. That was for Ted Cruz. That's how he sounds when somebody asks him, so what's up? The president said your wife's a fucking dog and you just went yeah cool man this is what he sounds like yeah and then you know what

actually is too that's the calling card he beeps like that right before he kills someone he's the zodiac he goes beep we are finally able to yeah we cracked Ted Cruz's last riddle. Yeah.

Got him. Because he was, you know, five when he wrote it or something. Well, when reached for comment, he said, no, you didn't. I mean, how would I know? That's not what I meant. Let me point out all your errors. Yeah. Okay. okay Jordan

tell us about peppercorn steak oh god the Outback Steakhouse peppercorn short rib is tender slow roasted fall off the bone

short rib served over our creamy homestyle mashed potatoes and topped with a peppercorn sauce. It fell off the bone. Yeah. It was...

Or maybe the bone was never there, and they just threw it in there. Who can say? Celebrate Steakmas. Gonna let that... I'm just gonna let that simmer. Celebrate Steakmas right with your favorite mates and Outback's supremely juicy bone-in steaks.

Again, bone-in leaves a lot to be desired. I like this one. Tickles your yummy bone, doesn't it? And then there's just a line that says, their Facebook. This is all information. I couldn't find a press release on this, so I got this information from their Facebook

because the thing that got me was celebrate Steakmas right. Yeah. What rules? Are you telling me you've never been to a Steakmas gone awry? It turned into a bloodbath, okay? You do not want to be at an ill-prepared steakmas. It's nothing to joke about. And this is the right way to do it, apparently.

It will not tickle your yummy bone, which is something I'm backpocketing, by the way. Yeah, no kidding. When you hear me say yummy bone from now on, you know where it came from. Is steakmas part of some sort of ad campaign they're doing? Or is somebody who just... I have no idea! Somebody who just runs their Facebook is going rogue is like, I'll throw in Steakmas, Yummy Bone. Like, why did they name it that?

Why didn't they just say like, come all ye steakful? And then like... Oh! Damn, dude. Like, to say it's Steakmas... Hungry and triumphant. Oh, damn, dude. Like, to say it's steak-missed. Hungry and triumphant.

Yeah. To say it's steak-missed but not have any steak-missed promotions is, like, insane. Yeah, it's just kind of weird to slip that in there. Yep. Joy to the world. The Lord is come. The Lord is come with his yummy bone. Well, he did pocket that one, huh?

He used it quick it wasn't even in my pocket yet I picked it up and it wasn't even off the table oh man what was it like getting the food Eric uh it was you have to wait in your car they don't let anyone inside there's no inside dining

uh there's no number to call when you pull up it just says and I took a picture. I'll send you guys the picture. There's all these things slotted that are like, wait in your car. We'll come right out to you and get you what you need, whatever. And then in like a little parenthetical thing,

or it says, or we'll call the crocodiles. And that made me want to get out of my car to make them call the crocodiles. want to get out of my car to make them call the crocodiles. I was in North Austin near a shopping mall and a Costco.

That's where all the crocodiles are. That's what I was thinking. I gotta find them. I gotta see these crocs. My question is just the intent. Because generally that would sound like a threat. Yes.

But, like, are they calling the crocodiles to bring out your food? I don't understand the context of it. I think the crocodile, if you get out of your car because of COVID, the crocodiles will eat you. So you might not be worried about COVID. You might call that a hoax, but there's no hoax about these crocodiles they call. Really worried about getting Crockvid. Well, I'm going to double down on this on St. Hoaxmas here.

I think, I don't know, the crocodiles do exist. I think they're all alligators. I don't think there's a goddamn difference. I like that. I think they're just all alligators. I have a similar theory where Jake Paul and Logan Paul are the same person. But I've never seen them together. But now they just make twice as much money.

Yep. See? That's true. It's a fucking racket. They're out there. They're out there. Or he's out there. He's out there.

Fighting Paul. See, that conspiracy theory makes sense. It has some merit because there's a tangible reason for them to be doing this. Right. What did the alligators get out of saying crocodiles exist? I don't think the alligators started it. They're not intelligent enough. I think it was just people that came up with it. I mean, why is everybody lying about COVID?

I don't know. Somebody's profiting somewhere. Somebody's profiting from the alligator crocodile debate. I don't know who it is, but some fucking goddamn Soros

is sitting on his mountain of cash going, people think they're crocodiles and alligators. Ha ha ha! You know? Fucking,

he's like, and what's crazy is you don't think they're friends, they're friends. He's calling up Rupert Murdoch and he's like, they bought it again! Oh, Rupert, listen to this one! Rupert Murdoch's dead. Wow. Isn't he dead? Rupert Murdoch?

He's quite alive. Are you referring to Roger Ailes? I'm thinking of Roger Ailes. He's different, that's a different person. He's a different man. He's the different old white man. Here's the thing. He was going to expose the crocodile alligator thing

and they had him out. Rupert Murdoch was like, you run Fox. And then Roger Ailes went like this. He went... The thing about Roger Ailes is that he was going to expose this whole thing. I mean, obviously, he must have been done in by these guys

because he was so young and healthy and vibrant. There's no way that he just got straight up croaked. It's pretty suspicious. Well, he didn't get the blood of the youngful youth to keep him alive. The youngful youth. The youngful youth. Yeah. To keep him alive. The young full youth. The young full youth. He wasn't doing, people kept telling him, you know, take the AJ supplements. Yep.

He would have been red. He would have been healthy and red. He would have been red. But instead, they got to him, you know. The crocodile gator people got to him. Instead of being red, he's just dead. Oh, wow. Dude.

Better dead than red. Better dead than dead. That's what they say. It's the other way. It's the other way because he died. Oh, he's just dead. Oh, wow. Dude, better dead than red. That's what they say. It's the other way because he died. Oh, that's right. Yeah. All right. We're like 45 minutes in. Let's talk about the food.

And we should get to it because we have three fucking sponsors. Yeah, it's true. Oh, my God. This episode is going to be two hours long. Well, you're lamenting that. I'm saying thank God we can still make this show. I'm excited about it we're making bank thanks to the thanks to the jammers out there who are helping us we got these

three sponsors they can't get enough of you guys yeah you're making bank do you get a bonus for this show uh well it what i what happened it's complicated let me put it this way. When Eric goes on Larry King and Larry King says, what's a luxury you can't live without? He's not going to say socks or coffee. He's going to say, oh, my three private jets. And Larry King's going to be like, finally, somebody who's actually successful on my show. Dude, if Larry King says anything.

Larry, I'm on face jam. You just go. See, I'm talking about a guy who's really been, like, hanging tough. He knows about the crocodiles and alligators. He's not giving that shit up. Dude, but he's not dumb enough to blow the lid off the whole thing. No, fuck no. That's why he's got this career that spans so long on the internet.

Or what network is he on? Well, he retired, and then he was like, oh, I don't know what to do with my life. I'm going to start a YouTube channel. You can't see, no one can see Michael because this is an audio podcast. He's doing a great impression. A great impression. Dude, one time at Dodger Stadium,

I saw Larry King. I saw Larry King walking by. He even walks like that. Yeah. It's like his head is so big that it just weighs his whole front down and his shoulders come up. You gotta get the top of your head below your shoulders.

Somehow, someway. You're Larry King. That's it. You know what I mean? Oh, man. And he's like, I gotta go see the Dodgers play. Make my way to go see the Dodgers. He's the, like, epitome of a guy who 20, 30 years ago

would be smoking a cigar and breathing it directly into your face. Oh, yeah. Sweetheart! Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm your son. Yeah, don't worry about it. Alright, let's review this food.

It was... I'll keep it brief. It was bad. it was not worth the 25 it cost yep it was not i wouldn't even describe it as a rib it tasted like a roast it was pot roast it was like yeah i'm pretty sure that's what they gave me because it did not have a bone in it it was bone bone adjacent. It was near a bone. There was no bone in. It was bone near. Yeah, but here's the thing.

At least that peppercorn sauce really brought it to life. Yeah, so I dumped that sauce straight onto it. It was like, let's get into this. This is going to be awesome. Yeah. And then I tasted it, and I don't know how to describe it other than it didn't taste like anything you said it tasted kind of like ketchup and i agree with you yeah it was just devoid of flavor and taste and you would think something peppercorny would have like a nice kick to it

and then the sauce would counteract it with maybe some tang um but it seemed like it was a a gravy based sauce that they put some pepper specks into that had no flavor and then i was like well shit maybe maybe the the food itself tastes good and i uh tried to get a bit that had none of the sauce on it nothing no taste nothing nothing at all it had texture it had i wouldn't say it was rib texture but it was again like a pot roast if this was a pot roast i would give it give it credit for looking and kind of i guess feeling like a pot roast in my mouth but just no taste whatsoever it was so confusing and i was like is it is it me is there more is something wrong with my mouth and then i asked this can you smell anything either because that could be a problem that's what i thought i was like i was like do i do i got the vid uh but no no no rona

here man because i went i went to the blue and onion Onion And I was like this tastes great This is flavorful Let me get into that sauce All that was great And then this thing with the mashed potatoes Pairing something that has no flavor With mashed potatoes should be a crime Because then it's just It's just the blandest food

Altogether And they weren't garlic No they weren't garlic mashed potatoes. They weren't garlic mashed potatoes. How do they describe them here? Creamy homestyle mashed potatoes. Sure, creamy's a word. I didn't even think they were that creamy, but they were fine.

They were fine. They were not that creamy. Nothing about this food tasted. Which is really weird because How is it food? How is it $25? That's the bigger question. I'll tell you how it's food because you ate it

and it provides some sort of sustenance. It is still hanging out in my stomach. And I guess I have to give it points for that. Give it points for being food but that's outrageous $25. I mean we're talking about triple digits. There were only three of us. We didn't even buy four.

If Nick were alive today... It was triple digits with tip. Oh, man. That's expensive. We could have gone bankrupt from this episode. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank God we have three sponsors. Yeah, why are we doing three ads? That's true. Thank you so much.

We're still losing money. We're barely breaking even over here. It's just got me wondering about how to rate it because I usually start around 70 and then add or just subtract from there. I don't know what the base score

for It's Food starts at because Stop hunching over, Michael. He's being Larry King. I feel like I need to punish Outback Steakhouse. Wow! And for that reason. I feel like I need to punish Snake.

Punish Steak. Whoa, that's good. If we had been talking about Metal Gear Solid earlier, that would have been good. Sahilanthropus. I'm giving it... Everyone shut up. I'm giving it a five.

I'm sorry, what? I'm giving it a five. They are punished. I love it. A five? I punish them. They get a five. What? A five? How dare they charge us $25

for this thing that is food only in name. I'm going to call the crocodile. I'm going to call the crocodile and then I'm going to turn them around and be like, the real criminals are in name. I'm going to call the crocodile. I'm going to call the crocodiles and then I'm going to turn them around and be like, the real criminals are in there. I'm going to say this to you though. Look how far Jordan's come. Remember how he used to fight every

score and try to rationalize it? And early on, very early on, we talked about the 25 cent wings and I tried to argue the savings. He's like, the savings have nothing to do with the flavor and the taste. And now he's going, oh, it's too expensive. It should taste better.

It's going the opposite route. Because he's learned. He's on the punishment. He's grown. He's grown as a food reviewer. He came in young and brash. Thought he knew everything. And then life knocked him down a little bit. And he learned from those lessons. And now, he's just

like me. Which is what he really wanted all along. You either die a hero, you live long enough to become the Michael. He came in and he punished them with a five. That was his food review.

I want to punish them. I don't know how else to do it. The score is the only way. It's my only power. It's the only thing I can do to punish them. I love it. Michael, you summed it up so well. It's a food review podcast. In Jordan's basis for this was they must pay.

Here's what I'll say about about the price thing like i'm if i eat low quality food that's cheap that doesn't influence me at all like okay that's what it should cost this is low quality food that is way overpriced you just okay i it. And I have to take a stand. Yeah. You're getting a $600 stimulus, all right? Food costing $25 and doesn't taste like anything. Maybe. I tell you, if we get that $2,000, I'm going to eat so much peppercorn shortbread. You're not getting anything. Just so you know.

Let's make that clear. I appreciate where you're coming from, where the savings doesn't mean anything to you, but the audacity that a place would serve you that food and charge you $25, which you did not pay. Like, the gall for them to do that, the temerity. Again, what he's doing is he's putting himself in the place of the common man.

Oh! And they have to pay. Yeah. It's for them. It's for the people. Free the people. This is why slowly Eric became the villain of this podcast. Yeah, it's really amazing.

I don't like that. Jordan was slowly transitioning to the light side, and you're just wallowing in darkness and evil over there, and no vans, and then shitty vans. That shocked me, five. He really talked about how much he hated it, but I didn't see a five coming. Me neither. I love it.

Mine was on the bone. It was. It's true. So you guys immediately had to show me yours You're already at a 10 Right off the bat I don't feel like I have to punish them as much It also makes a lot of sense

What I like is Jordan Both of you are usually here before I am His wheels are already turning He's already got ideas So he'll subtly like instruct me on how or what to eat first as i started eating this he was almost immediately screaming at me to put the sauce on it he's like eat it with the sauce eat it with the sauce and i was like all right relax like i had two bites without it um and now as i listen i go, I go backwards every time I hear his review. And I think, yeah, it definitely was more like a roast.

I'll agree with that. And I didn't hate it nearly as much as Jordan. I thought it was a good cook, right? Like it wasn't, it was juicy. It wasn't overcooked. It wasn't undercooked. It was actually a pretty decent cook uh there it was it was sizable but not for 25 if you're gonna say it like yeah it's

more filling than like a cheeseburger or something but i would kind of expect that when you're paying for essentially a steak um yeah it was fine i didn't, I thought there was flavor. Um, the sauce to me reminded me of like the zesty sauce you get at White Castle that you dip your onion rings in. Oh, okay. Just sort of like a, a orange hue. And you say, what flavor is this? And someone says, zest.

Yeah. And you go, what is, what does that mean? And someone says, zest. Yeah. And you go, what does that mean? Uh-huh. And that's really it. I really don't have a lot of thoughts on it. You're not mad? Except not five. I wasn't mad.

Six? Seven? I'm a little glad, honestly. Eight? Just the way this transpired. Eight and a half. I wouldn't be like you gotta eat it I also wouldn't order it if I were there I would just get a steak

I would get a regular steak but having this shoved upon me and consumed I can say honestly and I think you can agree with this regardless of me wanting to one up Jordan or undo his score, you guys are both surprised at how much I ate.

Mm-hmm. Because I was just like, you were like, oh, you, like, I stopped just because I was getting full. But I didn't despise it. I'm going to give it a 55. I'm sorry, was that 55? 55, yeah. Okay. That's normal.

I could have really 95'd this guy, but that's a 30. I mean, that's a 30. That's more than fair for this thing. I called Eric a bit. I told Eric. If I were at a restaurant nicer than Outback Steakhouse And this was presented to me I would send this back

I agree And I'm not the type of person to do that at all But I would not eat that If I was getting the rib And this is what they brought me at like Vince Young Steakhouse I would just go We're like doing jokes now

Did I get the wrong food? Don't bring Vince's name into this, okay? We almost don't even have Vince's name in it at all, so it's fine. I would say Vince is involved only in name. Yeah. Dude, one day, I go to sleep at night, and I have dreams that one day I can go back there. I picked up some food from there for my birthday. You know what?

And it's smart. I just, I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to ruin the sanctity of not sitting at the table being hot, fresh. It definitely would have been better if I got it there, but I needed a good steak. I get the mushrooms and the fucking, the melted Parmesan on top of it. Or the blue cheese, sorry. You should lower your score just thinking about how good this is.

I got two. I got two beans. I can tell you this, Jordan. If I had to rate a Vince Young steak, it might be a hundred. Wow. It might be a hundred. It would be at least a 98. And circumstances would depend we should do like a nice

we should do a nice face jam like black tie meal where we go out to a fancy meal at a nice place fuck that's spicy that fucking blew my mind he gave me a god damn gummy

I'm talking to you I ate it and I got hit with spice, and it shocked me. Well, you gotta read the, there's a whole thing. No, I can't read. Guys, welcome to the Snack Attack segment. I don't read. Here's what we do, Jordan, and they've done this at Vinny's before. This is how we really blow the budget, and we trick them, and we do the black tie thing. Although it's Austin, you can show up in shorts.

I recommend we don't. It's true. But you could. They have very occasionally like a Kobe like Wagyu thing on the menu. Oh, yeah, baby. Which I bet we could skirt the line and gray it enough to go, that's limited. It's a special occasion. And then we all go to Vince Young's.

We bring Nick. $700 later, we have an episode. Well, because we're going to have some wine. Right, right. You have to have some wine. You guys have a Moscow Mule or two or five or six. We need the sides too. It's a whole thing.

Then, here's the thing. We have too much wine. We have too many Moscow Mules. Obviously, we're going to be responsible. We walk down to the Four Seasons we book four rooms at the Four Seasons it's gonna you know we meet up at the bar because we're already there the bar drinks are expensive at the Four Seasons

then we all spend the night probably get a sweet because we want to be comfortable and then in the morning before we check out we all get massages because we have the in-house massage and then we bill it all to Face Jam. I like it. That's smart. Post-COVID, let's do that.

Yeah, sure. Let's do it. I don't know. Fuck it. I don't care. Let's do it. It's not my money. Fuck. We'll need five or six sponsors for the next couple of episodes. That would be a year what I just described. Yeah, right. Alright, snack attack. Hey, Face Jam.

I'm too much of a spice mouse for these, but hopefully you professional spice rats can handle them. Please throw one at the sauce monkey. Uh-oh. Rest in peace. Two, or at least in the vague direction of his massive head, from Squats and Janes. What are they?

They are Vidal gummy spicy mangoes. Where are these from? New York, New York. Let me say this. Say it. They nailed everything that describes them. They're gummy, and they're a very, very good soft textured gummy. It's a very good gummy. Nice

and soft but not like super chewy. They are very mango and they are spicy. They check all those boxes. That is a very well done snack and they are spicy but here's what I appreciate. You bite it, you chew it for a little

bit and you don't notice it and then you go what the fuck?'m attacked but it gets you but then it's immediately gone there's no like oh i had hot sauce and now like i don't know it's not the like oh i need milk or whatever like for five minutes later it's a nice spice and i'm i am a self-proclaimed spice mouse, but I enjoy that. That was very good. That was good. I think it's a little too spicy for me to casually eat. I want more.

Well, here's the thing. I do want more, but that's because he just put some in my hand, and I ate them, and I could eat more. I don't think I'd go out of my way to buy them. That's true. But they're good. Those are really good. I would absolutely buy them. That's true. But they're good. Those are really good. I would absolutely buy these. They remind me of like

the chili powder mango that you can get on the beach in like Puerto Vallarta. Very good. Eric knows all about that. This makes sense to me here if you explain this, people that are into this, it'd be like, you know, sometimes people, two consenting adults,

you know, they like to get a little rough sometimes. Maybe they're like banging and it's like, you know, sometimes people, too consenting adults, you know, they like to get a little rough sometimes. Maybe they're like banging and it's like, you know, cut off my air supply just a little bit. So, you know. On the sides, not from the. See, the thing is like without the sex part, you're just cutting off their air supply. Yeah. What does that do? That's just fucked up.

Yep. But the mango is like the sex and the spice is like the little choke. The asphyxiation. You know what I mean? So they do a dance together. I like it. Classic spice rat stuff. What Michael's saying is that David Carradine would have really liked these.

No, he was killed by Yakuza. Oh. Oh. Well, what score do you give these candies? Oh, right. I give them like a 91. I'm going to give it a 90 fun. That's not a number.

Is that also a 91? What number do you think it is? I think it's 91. No, I'm going to 94 because four and fun. Oh, I get it. I get it. I should have said. I wish I would have's 91. No, I'm going to 94 because four and fun. Oh, I get it. I should have said. I wish I would have said that. 92.5, and I think that's on the money. 92.5 on the money.

This is Ghost Talk with FaceShare. Taco Cabana. Taco Cabana. There were a bunch of comments that were like, I don't like the way Eric says this. Taco Cabana. I didn't know that there was a way to say Taco Cabana. I didn't know it was Taco Cabana.

I don't know that there is a way to say it. There's just one that you say it. People were like, oh, they say it different on the commercials. It's like, I've never seen a fucking Taco Cabana commercial in my life. It wasn't really just the way you pronounce it. It was always the sing song to it. Taco Cabana. Yeah, yeah.

You're doing a little Larry King thing. It's a little, I'm hunching. Oh, I broke my shoulders. Taco Cabana. That was kind of Regis. Hey, send us snacks. You want to send us snacks to review? Guess what?

We have so fucking many you don't have to. But if you want to, send it to Face Jam,JamCareOf Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas 78723. Do not send us bugs. So is another snack stream. Yeah, we're gonna have to soon because I was looking at the table that I keep these on and it's getting fucking full. Like, it's a lot.

If you want more info on our next snack stream, follow us on Twitter, at FaceJamPod. Stay up to date on everything. You can also go to store.roosterteeth.com and pick up a FaceJam soda cup, the light-up acrylic sign, the Spice Rat mug, the Last Meal shirt, the Sauce Monkey plush, and the Spice Rat shirt. They're all in stock now.

Go get them. We have so much merch. Yes, because it's all good. We have fucking great merch. And I will say's all good. We all have fucking great merch. And I will say, shout out to the Face Jam design team who comes up with like fucking banger stuff that I'm really proud of. And people buy it too. Yes. Which is why we get to make it.

Yes. Because jammers be buying. That's what's up, baby. yes because because jammers jammers be buying that's what's up baby be sure to rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food uh if you describe it that way they'll be very disappointed by what they get and for a surprise well no here's the thing if you describe it that way they'll go that doesn't sound funny and they won't want to listen to it we really what we did was we really boxed ourselves into a corner here where the concept of the show doesn't sound nearly as good as the show is.

Right. But really it should be the reverse. You have a really good concept and then the show sucks, but people are already listening to it. Right. You already tricked them. We went the other route where we went, we'll fool them into thinking it's boring and we're going to talk about food. That way no one will listen to it. You already tricked them. We went the other route where we went, we'll fool them into thinking it's boring

and we're going to talk about food. That way no one will listen to it. That tends to be the way that most things are successful. What a funny, entertaining thing. And if you're going to tell people about the show, tell them we don't eat food on the show. Yeah, please let them know we don't eat food.

The number one comment. I love the idea of face jam i've been wanting to listen for over a year i just can't commit i can't listen to them eat don't eat on the fucking show we've never eaten on the show except for the vodcast because that's what people want uh and that's fine so maybe we'll do more of those soon too now that we have the van that works allegedly yeah we'll see about that we're gonna spend a lot of time in 2021. 2021 is the year of the Face Jam van. We're spending a lot of time in that van. I can feel it.

I'm kinda over the van. The van's kinda done. No! Cut all this! Goodbye! Goodbye! We all love the van. Goodbye! I'll see you next time.