100% Eat - Panda Express Beyond Orange Chicken

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Panda Express Beyond Orange Chicken so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the chow mein, a team building exercise, general exhaustion, and saying NOTHING in a press release but still saying it so much. Sponsored by Hello Fresh at http://hellofresh.com/facejam65 + code facejam65, Shady Rays at http://shadyrays.com + code FACEJAM, and Honey at http://joinhoney.com/FACEJAM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Right? Like, oh, that's good. That should bode well for the rest of the episode. 12 seconds in, baby. The first sound was like, and I was just staring at Nick. Sounds like Shy Guy. Wow. Eric loves Shy Guy. You love Shy Guy? And he loves Red Bull. Red Bull.

I love Yoshi. You should. You're free. Yoshi's the best one. Yeah, Yoshi's the best one. Dude, Yoshi sucks. Yoshi is for friends, man. Yoshi, you throw Yoshi down the fucking crevice.

What? So you can get a higher jump. That's what he's for. Yeah, just stepping on his head. Yup. Well, let me step on some heads right now. Okay. That's right.

We're talking to you, jammers. Is this episode good? Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Or else you're gonna get your head stepped on into a hole of doom. Yoshi style.

I'm ready for a Yoshi style stomping. Somebody throw me down the hole. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my dinosaur stomping co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? No! I just killed three in front of Eric.

No, he did. Yo, them babies are born. They eat and they get rolled. They were all different. He did a blue one. He did a yellow one. He did the classic green. Yeah, but not the pink one.

The pink one can stay. No, the pink one can go. It's cool. Pink one ain't got no powers, though. Yeah. Blue one does ice or something? Blue flies, maybe. Oh.

Blue sores. Yellow's got earthquake and red's got fire. Hmm. I remember playing Yoshi Island. Green? Has respect. The most worthless ability. Like a soprano situation.

Has everyone green with envy. Oh. Green with respect? Green with compliance. Yeah. Green around the gills. Oh, that's you. Yeah.

If you can't tell, I'm not feeling great this episode. I don't think they could tell, honestly. You're pretty even. Yeah. For knowing how mad you are, you sound pretty even. Jordan walked in. It's taking all my energy right now. He popped his microphone down to the table and said,

can I just do the episode like this? Can I record from down here? No, you need the mic pointed at you. No, then it sounds funny when you're far away. That's why Nick's famous. That's why he's saying no. It's because other people sound like him. Get a load of this.

That's where all the credit is. Four feet from the microphone. You're fucked. Yeah, you're screwed. Today, we're reviewing Panda Express Beyond Orange Chicken. So what color is it? What color is what? Yoshi's?

What color is Beyond Orange? What's next? I think it starts turning red, right? Is this a red chicken? You got more red food for us here? You're glogging that down, little glogasaurus Rex. I hate it. He's throwing it down the crevice.

Why'd you like that one so much? It tastes like... He really enjoyed it. He's a child. It tastes like being 24. Look, you're not in trouble. You're not in trouble that he liked it.

He laughed. I was like, why'd you like it? And he went, I don't know. He's just laughing. I just like when Nick laughs. I like to understand

what triggers it, you know? Yeah. Don't ask. He gets embarrassed. It seems like he doesn't know. Are you still poking around? No, I'm moving my fork. He won't stop. I think embarrassed. Seems like he doesn't know. Are you still poking around? No, I'm moving my fork. You won't stop.

I think beyond is the term of the food, and then orange chicken is also the name of the food. So it's sort of like, it's beyond. Why didn't they do? A TM? I don't know. That or like, usually they call it like chicken. They get rid of the E.

Chimpkin. The E. Yeah. That's what you call it when you feed it to your cat. Yeah. You give your cat chimpkin. Chimpkin? Yeah. See? So it's beyond orange chicken. Why does no what you call it when you feed it to your cat. Yeah. You give your cat chimpanzee. Chimkin? Yeah.

See? So it's beyond orange chicken. Why does no one just call it fake? You know? You know what I mean? It doesn't even need to be fake. It needs to be plant-based chicken. That tells you everything you need to know.

I don't need these brands. I don't even keep track of these brands. If there was like a third one that appeared, I'd be lost in the woods. Or like pseudo. Called pseudo. Yeah. Pseudo beef. Everybody's lost in the woods. Or like pseudo. Called pseudo. Yeah. Pseudo beef. Everybody's got their own name. It's confusing. Beyond. Impossible. Feb. Feb is a good one.

Feb's a really good one. Still sounds like feb though. Doesn't apply to chicken though. We need to fix that. Yeah. And I don't think neck sick would work. No. No. It makes it sound like you're sick er than you were. I didn't even say anything. That sound just came out of my mouth.

I don't know. What about like chunkin'? Oh, I like chunkin'. Chunkin'? Chunkin' sounds like when you feed it to your big ol' cat. Chunkin'. Oh, chunkin'. Chunkin'.

Chunkin' sounds like a character in like a Goonies style. I could go for a chunkin' sandwich. I almost said chunkin' chicken. Chunkin' sandwich. Can I get a half chunkin', half chicken sandwich? Hello, welcome to Chunkin's. What can I get you? Give me two large Chunkin's. Would you like chicken with. Chunking sandwich. Can I get a half chunking, half chicken sandwich? Hello, welcome to Chunkin's. What can I get you? Give me two large Chunkin's.

Would you like chicken with the Chunkin's? No chicken. No chicken. More Chunkin's. Extra Chunkin's. Uh-huh. And I'd like some blub on the side. So is that how we feel about plant-based food?

I don't know. I mean, I don't eat it. I eat meat. Here's the thing. I don't have anything inherently against plant-based food. There's some people. I mean, I don't eat it. I eat meat. So here's the thing. I don't have anything inherently against plant-based food. There's some people that get real upset by it.

Right. The fact that it exists for no reason is an affront to the human species. I just don't eat it. Tell you one thing. Because I eat meat.

Yeah. And just as someone who eats meat and isn't looking for an alternative. Yeah. Anytime someone goes, no, no, no, no, no.

You haven't had it. You haven't had the good stuff it's never as good it's good it's good if I gave up meat I would eat it as an alternative but I'm not gonna choose it over meat I'm simply just won't do it if it's the only thing you can eat it's good enough yeah like sometimes that's all it takes

it's either that or nothing right yep it's that or another salad it's either you get chunkin or you get nothing like if I had the choice between chunk or nothing you get nothing. Like, if I had the choice between chunk or nothing. But, I mean, to be fair, if I had the choice between, like, fish or nothing, I'd choose fish. But I hate fish. If I had the choice between fish or chunking, I'd eat the chunking. I'd probably eat the chunking, too. I don't like fish.

I am versed well enough in the chunking verse. Right. To know, like, what's good, what's bad. Right. My wife is vegan. And so, by proxy, I am also verse. Right. To know like what's good, what's bad. Right. My wife is vegan. And so by proxy, I am also vegan. Yeah.

A lot of the time. The only time. So how do we make this show? She's not on it. No, I know. I'll go to, I'll go to like Pint House Pizza with Jordan and we'll end up getting,

I think it's called like the cannonball. It is just the pizza with nothing but meat on it. And it getting, I think it's called like the cannonball. It is just the pizza with nothing but meat on it. And it's, I would never order that. Like I would never, but Jordan's like, she's not here. Let's fucking do it. It's like, Oh damn, man. I can get whatever. Like a one shot. Yeah. Just blast your gut. Yeah. Every kind of, it's like, wow, this bacon's got ham on it. move the pepperonis there's meatballs yeah it's all from the same pig believe it or not it's uh but like again if this was more prevalent i feel like it has been in our lifetime right like i feel like we've been hearing about plant-based meat or whatever since like the 90s yeah uh plant-based macaroni is pretty good

i eat that sometimes i think it's plant-based macaroni, just macaroni? No, there's like what is it? Is it like a different, like an organic brand? Something like that. What you're saying makes sense, but it's some sort of like, I say it's pretty good as in, this macaroni's better for you, so it doesn't taste as good.

What is it? I don't know. I'll look it up. Now I sound like a fool. Can you believe it? Well, guys, write it down. Gotcha. What is it? I don't know. I'll look it up. Now I sound like a fool. Can you believe? Well, guys, write it down. It happened. I'll say this. Mark it down. In my experience. I failed.

I failed! In my experience, they don't mess it up too bad at restaurants. Yeah. Fast food so far seems to be pretty hit and miss. I went and got those KFC nuggets. I think they were impossible nuggets. Yeah.

Yeah, they were. Those are some of the greasiest, nastiest things I've ever eaten. Even my wife hated them. We ended up not getting them for this show. Something took its place. Yeah. Something more important happened. Yeah.

I wanted to, but then it was like sort of a come and go. And then all I heard was people going, yeah, it's kind of like eating, like, you know, like an eraser. It's kind of like chewing on that. They are so chewy. Really? Yeah. Those things were they were chewy and they were very greasy.

Why would you want that? You bite into it and it goes. But sometimes that's good. So like even your wife didn't like that. She doesn't have meat ever. Correct. Yeah. So that was an example of some bad plant based.

I guess we were talking about it earlier. What about the impossible Whopper? I have never tried it, but she gets it. It's our traveling food. We have to go to Burger King because it's the only place we can eat if we're in an airport. Is that a heartbreaker? Does that answer your question? Yes.

Of course it is. That's terrible. It's the only thing keeping them around. You're helping. You're feeding the beast. Oh, wow. You're bending the knee to the king oh my god oh no bow down uh so panda express has beyond orange chicken and it actually launched today or yesterday the day the queen died the day dude do you think they were like oh no nobody no, nobody's going to come to the restaurant now. I don't think they were worried about it.

But now we'll know where we were when it happened. But that's, I mean, Panda Express to me is a very weird one to go into this. I didn't really expect it from them, but it makes sense. They're not really a Chinese restaurant. No, not at all. Because they sell Chinese food. They sell not really a Chinese restaurant. No, not at all. Because they sell Chinese food. They sell... It's on the box.

It's a Panda Express Chinese kitchen. It's kind of how Taco Bell isn't really a Mexican restaurant. Yeah, but it doesn't say Mexican on the box. They couldn't put it there if it wasn't true. It says Chinese. Maybe the Panda's Chinese. Oh. Oh, yeah. I the panda's Chinese. Oh. Oh, yeah.

I think those pandas are actually. The ones at the zoo aren't. San Diego Zoo. Because they were born stateside? Yeah.

You're damn right. They could be president. Finally. A panda president. I'm fine with that. Yeah. Yeah, but so could Cruz. How does that work?

I don't know. He's Canadian. Isn't he? He's Canadian. Isn't he? He's Canadian. Yeah, they're really lax on the rules. It's like fucking John McCain was born in Panama,

but technically it was like on base. But was it on a base? That makes more sense. On a base is a different thing. That makes more sense than Canadian man. Yeah.

Yeah, but his uncle, I think one time, went to America. Oh, and he was like, I want you to go there and just fuck it all up yeah that's what they do for like the u.s national teams uh soccer teams oh yeah

they're just like like anyone who lives in europe that has like an uncle or a great great grandfather who like visited in the 1700s uh yeah you're american you can come play for us yeah you got it you got it you got it we're desperate desperate. Ted Cruz had like that long hair. That was weird. I hate his beard too. Yeah. I hate Ted Cruz. I like him.

He's got some good ideas. I disagree. I don't think he has any. That's right. I like his backbone. Hey, I like Cancun too. That's right. There you go.

Dude, if I go to the vacation of the people. Definitely. That's where Americans too. That's right. There you go. Dude, a vacation of the people. Definitely. That's where Americans go. That's where Americans go. Just a tiny bit outside of America. Yeah, right. Like a little bit. Just enough.

His evil daughters make him go to Cancun and that's what's the best either. He's just dropping them off. So evil. So evil. Good man. How often do you guys go to Panda Express? When I was coming in the office, it was

in my rotation. If I couldn't get anyone else to go to lunch with me, I would just flip a coin when these are Panda Express because they're right next to each other and they're close by. But you wouldn't take someone else to Panda Express? That's not something I'm going to go get with someone else. I'm getting double orange

chicken and chow mein and I'm going to eat it by myself in my office like a little gremlin. I'm going to sit in my car and I'm going to put my face face first in this double orange chicken. I'm going to inhale it until it's gone. I'm going to place my face in it and just start chewing. You know, the orange chicken, it smells spicier than it is. It always does. It'll mess up your nostrils. Yeah.

But it's not really spicy in any way. I didn't know that orange chicken was supposed to be spicy because every time I've had it, it hasn't been. It has little red pepper flaky things in it. Those could be imposters, I feel like. Impossible flakes. They're impostables.

Is that what the pasta is called? That might be it. That might be it. I bet that's a thing, too. There's no way. Uncrrustable uncrustable that's unbelievable yeah um i go to panda probably every few weeks yeah pretty often i'd say there's not a lot of chinese options no might be back in the rotation now if my wife can eat this it probably has other things that aren't vegan oh 100 but we'll see not that this is really as you said a chinese option but right It's something.

If I want some sort of noodle and I want it fast. Exactly. That's what it's good for. Panda Express is really. That's what it's good for. What is the best Chinese restaurant in Austin, in your opinion? Local's only part of the podcast. I'm a big fan of Din Ho.

I don't go to enough. I mostly do sushi and ramen. What do you go for that? Sushi, cash sushi kura yeah quick cash cash place is awesome you're in or out they got robots now they got robots now just for the drinks yeah they got robots and they're singing songs um i love inserting the plates and getting a little video yeah uh oh Oh, yeah. Oh, 15 plates. You get a prize. Yeah.

You know, they got some Demon Slayer stuff. I got an eraser one time. Oh, my God. Did you want it? And some washi tape. No, I just, I had some of this earlier. Gotcha. Okay.

That's what it was. Box of erasers. I also go to this place, which isn't, I mean, they have sushi, but called Dip Dip Dip. Oh, okay. Which is like a Shabu Shabu I think yeah it's called it's like the fanciest put the bowl in the

Shabu Shabu place well yeah cause for me like when I go like those are the places I like going to but I have no like garbage alternative and so exactly where else is Panda Express right there's like really nice places in Austin but there's not like in New Jersey there's like really nice places in Austin but there's not like like in New Jersey there was like a million

like pretty good Chinese places I don't know where those are here I just have like really fancy places where I eat Panda Express where I go to rotating sushi there's no mid-tier uh uh

Old Thousand yeah Old Thousand's great I think that's really good I love their brisket fried rice yeah I think there's I think it's just it's just out of the realm of like the Chinese food that I would

typically get. They do some fun stuff with it. That I enjoy it in a way that most of the time I don't go and get Chinese food. It's just like not something that's in my usual rotation. Except Panda Express, which my wife

decides is the only thing she'll want to eat for like nine days straight she tweets about it a lot yeah wow my nick nick went fucking nuts both of his elbows exploded you probably can hear it noodles came out man jesus christ came out of his that's like uh yeah but she'll like go nuts on it and uh i mean you get your wife a large ala cart that'll feed her for 90. She'll pick out two orange chimpkins. The smalls are fucking minuscule. This is really small, right? The medium is a little bit bigger than small.

The large is fucking enormous. It's like too big. It's way too big. There are the fuck. The three sizes are fuck. If you're getting two of them like we did, we got an original just to compare, and we got the Beyond Chimpkin. Uh-huh.

I think this was a good amount of food. Like, that's probably close to a medium. Yeah. Two separate ones. And then a large is about 16 of those. Talking about the size, I ordered the Cream Cheese Rangoon, which used to be Crab Rangoon

and they're not anymore. It's just cream cheese. There are two sizes. Small, three pieces. Large, 12 pieces. You better want these or want... I could be wrong. Feel free to fact check me.

It might be two pieces. Is it really? That would be absurd. That's not enough. This guy confirms it is three. Okay, Nick's freaking out saying three. But he didn't do it the German way, so I know he's an imposter.

Astronomical. Three or 12? Three or 12. Who's making these adjustments? That's insane. Where's the medium, you fucking psycho? It reeks of data analysis

guy going, we've noticed that there are extreme polarities in the cream cheese. They eat three or they eat 12. So we need to eliminate to cut costs.

But also, you already made them. You could just put them in a bag with six of them. Right. Can you please just make one that says six? Just for the love of God?

Fucking nuts. Just crazy. And then they didn't even give us the food. Well, you came out with two boxes. I was definitely concerned. One in each hand. I came out with one bag that had eight little boxes in it. It was so tiny.

And then I opened it up and I went, we're missing something. So we were still in the parking lot, went back in. And you took forever, by the way. Yeah. We were getting worried. Yeah.

It took a while. The girl, like one girl had to talk to a different girl and she was so sorry that she did not give me these things. And then while I was in there, the world guys, because I heard Michael screaming as I was closing the door. You know, or something. And then, so I got a, I got, so I got a large chumming and, uh, Because I heard Michael screaming as I was closing the door. Do you order chow mein? Do you order chow mein?

And then, so I got a large chow mein. You got that because I yelled it? Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Well, and that spilled everywhere. Oh, yeah, it was great. They put it in the bag upside down. I pulled it out, and it just came out, and it was like, what is happening?

I love it. It looks off. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like the chow mein they have on display that you don't eat. Yeah. It tastes like it too. It was very, it's just the whole thing was very weird.

I've never ordered the a la carte sizes. If I knew they were this small, I never would have gotten it. I only do a la carte. Really? Yeah. Because I'm a maniac. I've never ordered the a la carte sizes. Because I have a family and just everybody eats everything.

No, it makes sense. I don't need plates and shit and then I just go they have a family feast which is expensive as fuck but it's three large entrees and two large a la cartes or sides. It's all a la carte. And so it's just like five monstrous boxes.

And then I just say, shovel this down. And then the kids go, shovel this down. And then the kids go, we want pizza. And then I say, we're not eating pizza tonight. And then my ex goes, I'll order pizza. What? And I'm like, why? She's winning the kids over the kids.

And so then I get ice cream. But then the ice cream's just for me. So the kids don't like that either. That makes sense. And so on and so forth, et cetera, et cetera. It sounds like your stock is falling.

Yeah. And then I come here. Yeah. What a great dad. And I'm a king. Yep. Um, but I like all that,

but you know what else I like? What do you like? A haiku. Oh, for vegan pandas, chicken often is taboo. That changes today. Nice. Wow. I like it. Itoo. That changes today. Nice.

Wow. I like it. It was like a little story. All they eat is bamboo. It ended with like a threat. Yep. I liked it. They can finally eat some plant-based stuff.

That haiku was D as fuck. Yeah, hell yeah. I liked it. That was good. I felt dominated. Yes, hell yeah. I'm fronting on all the haiku haters. That changes today

they're a lot of haiku haters they're out there dude yeah yeah they just don't comment yep good keep it to yourself they write hate coups oh oh damn dude if we ever go back to bleeping the bleep it's getting a hate coup what what what what yeah what do you mean? You know what? We go back. You know what? I think we should go back to the sheet. Oh, OK. And maybe have these facts. All right. Let's do it. Let's learn.

Panda Express. Hey, let me ask you. Yep. Sure. Before I read this. Uh huh. When's the last time we ate at Panda Express? It says it on the.

Would you like. Would you like to guess before you read it? No, I'm just asking a question before I get to the facts. OK. I mean, it says it on here. No, I'm not. I'm just. I'm not reading the Okay. I mean, it says it on here. No, I'm not reading the facts. I'm asking you, when's the last time we ate there? You want me to answer, but it's in the fact?

I don't know what you get. I'm not even talking about the facts. I'm just having a conversation with my friends. I'll be honest. I'm just as confused as you are, Eric. I'm just having a conversation with my friends before I get to the facts. Do you want me? And I want to know.

Do you want us to tell you what's on the sheet? No, we don't need the sheet for this portion of the conversation. But do you want me to. Here's how it goes. And I say, Eric, I say, what did you eat for dinner last night? Uh-huh. And then you answer. Right.

What is it? What did you eat for dinner last night? Pizza. Pizza. Right. You see how you didn't need the sheet? Right. Because that wouldn't be on the sheet.

I do need the sheet for this. Penn Express. When's the last time we went? When was that? For this show? Yeah. September 1st, 2020. Didn't even look at the sheet. Wow. need the sheet for this. Penn Express. When's the last time we went? When was that? For this show? Yeah. September 1st, 2020. Didn't even look at the sheet.

Wow. He looked right at Jordan. He wrote it though, so he knew. Yeah, but he's got the mind of a goldfish, so it was in there. I got it out of him.

Watched a little too much Ted Lasso. He just kept saying be a goldfish. Wasn't that a fun exercise? Yeah. Did you learn that in improved class?

They actually kept asking me to stop doing that. Please stop asking about the sheet. Every sketch, too, I kept saying, I have a gun. And they kept saying, this isn't a sketch. I'm just asking you to fill out this form. Stop drawing a gun on the form. Every sketch, I was like, where's the script? Where's the script?

Lying. Here we go. Finally into the facts. what if in the sketch i wrote a script hello and we just yes anded it that's great this would answer the question yeah our previous panda express episode was released september 1st 2020 now i see what you're saying uh-huh we ate the honey sesame chicken yeah okay now i see it received an average score of 54.5. So I was just wondering. Yeah. Oh, I see.

Okay. I didn't know that was there. Oh. And you did. Uh-huh. You see what happens when you have a miscommunication? It's a miscommunication, yeah. Oh, when something, okay.

Like you do something I didn't. Yeah. This is a great example of how we should open communication lines and stay synergist at all times. Stay synergist. Sign me up, dude. I've got a tattoo that says synergist today. No, on my spine. Nice.

It's going to be going down. I don't remember this, Drew. It didn't sound like we liked it, though. 54.5, I bet I liked it and you didn't. Yeah, I think at that point it was just like yeah yeah you're right i think it was like why would you get this and not the orange chicken i think was like ah hmm and possibly a tease for the review later here we go claiming they sell over 280 000 orders of orange chicken every day panda express is trying to get those numbers up by tricking vegans into trying of orange chicken every day. Panda Express is trying to get those numbers up

by tricking vegans into trying beyond orange chicken, getting them hooked on the stuff, then ripping it away from them as a quote, limited time offering. The Panda always wins. Oh, man. Think about it. Didn't you, wasn't that what you were typing

the last episode about the winning and power? Yeah, we always win. Are you still on this trip? I just think we have the power. The Panda has the power, too. No, the power. I just think we have the power. The Panda has the power, too. No, the Panda always wins. FaceJam has the power. Well, who wins versus power and wins? Right.

Does a power lose to a win? No. And what's the third thing in this rock, paper, scissors? It's a great question. It can't lose. And we're going to find out with Panda Express when we have to flex the power. Panda Express's parent company, Panda the power. Panda Express's parent company, Panda Restaurant Group

Yeah, didn't know they were related, did you? Also owns the Japanese concept Hibachi-san and the originator of Panda Express Panda Inn. On their website, they also have a section of other, quote, other concepts

we support, which include pyology and raisin canes. Other podcasts FaceJam supports? None. Except maybe in an ad later. Yeah, well, if it's other concepts we support, what does that even mean? I don't know. What the fuck? Okay, so obviously what it sounds like is hey man these ideas are pretty good check them out hey man check this you guys

know about fucking raising canes thanks for coming to panda express chicken chicken over there chicken rules bro bro uh i'm just i don't i don't know if panda restaurant group is like investors in them and involved in them in some way but you couldn't glean that from no other concepts we support. Yeah. Like I support concepts such as free healthcare, I guess. Check it out. Raising cane style, baby. The thing that I didn't like on our website is that to find this other stuff, you have to go to our brands and that's where they talk about them as brands and then they talk about everything else as concepts and it's like what same restaurant

what is this hey man good content fuck other contents we support did you learn continue learning hang on okay Did you learn? Continue learning. Hang on.

Okay. That was for the queen. Oh, thank you. That was a moment of silence. Why are you laughing? Dude, that's very disrespectful. She died today. And it will still be news when this podcast comes out.

Remember. We're recording early because I'm going to go see her right now. It'll live on in infamy. The day the queen died was also the day they recorded the Panda Express. September 8th will go down in history for these two very, very important reasons. Dude, it's going to be a tough couple of days. McMillions is right around the corner too. Oh, no. Let me get to this next fact. days. McMillions is right around the corner, too. Oh, no. Let me get to this next fact.

Okay. I'm getting caught in the weeds here. In 2019, as part of a, quote, team-building exercise, a Santa Clarita woman was forced to strip to her underwear as a, quote, trust exercise and told her promotion depended on it. She quit three days later and sued Panda Express. We at Face Jam would never do such a ritual.

We would sooner make a man into a monkey. And we did. A monkey man. Yeah. Fully clothed. We give him more clothes. It's true. It's true.

We do opposites. No other context for that? Just trust exercise? That's just fucking crazy, right? Take your clothes off. What was that supposed to instill? Also, 2018? Yeah.

That's 2019. Oh, sorry. I was looking at the next one. That's even more insane. And then it was like right at the beginning of like, it was like February into like March when she like sued him. And then they're like, oh yeah, you can't actually sue because there's some kind of like arbitration rule.

And it's like, what is this? This is another way big corporations are trying to keep their little thumb pressed on the worker. It was fucking crazy. There's another concept I can get behind oh i like that brand uh but they she said that it turned into less about panda express and more like a cult ritual oh yeah i thought that was cool did they start like worshiping her going well worshiping the panda. Promotion. Panda promotion. You have to strip down and pray to the panda.

Yep. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. All right. Here we go. Final fact. Okay. In 2018, Chinese fast casual chain Pei Wei, I assume is how it's pronounced, hired a private investigator to dumpster dive behind a Panda Express to show off their preservatives in the orange chicken sauce.

They also claim their orange chicken is better, but they're from Irving, Texas and hired a guy to go through the trash, so we're not really rushing to go check it out. Yeah, I don't trust anything originating from the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, to be honest. I like the idea.

Why are you going to hire a private investigator to jump in a dumpster? Buy the orange chicken. Guys, I just imagine they're going, guys, you're never going to believe this. This orange chicken is full of preservatives. And everyone's like, what? We got their asses now. Dude, I had a suspicion.

I had a hunch. You know, I wasn't sure, but if you hire an investigator. Can we get this to print? If we hurry. We had a man go through the trash for this. Bad news, guys. We told everyone and nothing happened. And somehow our stock fell?

Oh, no. Like, what an idea. What? That is definitely the idea of a company from urban Texas. Also, again, in 2018. Yeah, right. It sounds like something that wouldn't happen in the 90s. Yeah, you know, that's, dude, anything can happen in the 90s.

I love the almost corporate espionage angle of this, but it's so, like, it's always sunny. Yeah, oh, that's like, it's always sunny. Yeah. Oh, that's exactly how it reads to me. Corporate espionage with it's always sunny is exactly how this sounds

like they're going to do an investigation. Here's what we do. Hire a guy. Yeah. He goes to the dumpster. He goes to the dumpster. And then we blast them.

And then profit. Yeah. Yeah. We get that guy in the dumpster and then we win. Then we have the power. It's starting to sound like a face jam meeting. Yeah. Who would we dig up dirt on in the dumpster and then we win. Then we have the power. Starting to sound like a face jam meeting, to be honest. Who would we

dig up dirt on in the dumpster? Good thinking. Burger King. Take them down. Then you don't have to eat at Burger King at airports anymore, Jordan. We're doing it for you. Those are the facts. F*** face. We're taking down f*** face? That's who we dumpster

dive and we send this little rat to do it. Okay. It's a podcast. Yes. Yeah. We can have Nick do it too. He's there. He's our inside man.

We'll both do it. I don't care. What should we be looking for? Bones, man! Chicken bones! Any kind of bones! Human bones. Bones of human children.

Wait, no. People might like them more after that. Yeah, that's true. Oh, man. You let us know. You find anything. Okay, I'll let you know if I find anything. You find anything. Yeah, that's true. Oh, man. You let us know. You find anything. Okay, I'll let you know if I find anything. You find anything steamy from that other podcast.

Bum specific, I guess. Whenever we record ads and we do it on Discord, we use the same Discord as them. Yeah. And so I just see like Nick and Eric messaging as the episode's going on. Yeah. And it smells like a crime is being committed

based on what they're talking about. Yeah, you could tell. It feels like it, too. Just circumstantial evidence alone would probably at least get the grand jury to sign off on the arrest warrant.

Get a special master. I will also say that Jack is involved in that podcast like, you know, small. Yeah. Like a small way.

So it's like, you know, you can't trust it to begin with. So what do you think? Did you learn a lot about Panda Express this time? Learned a lot about some fucked up shit going on.

I learned shit. And that is what seals the podcast award for best comedy podcast. That's it. We did it. Send it to the streamies. Get us away. Let's go. I would like to thank the guy combing the desert with a pick

and space balls for the inspiration he really set you up about 30 years ago he did in fact find shit that's great if we had like Jason Sudeikis on this podcast too we'd definitely win an award

that's the only thing we're missing that's all we need we just need one celebrity host. We need one celebrity host. We just need one more. We're almost there. Even it out. Equalize. Who else can we get from like middling television?

Same shade. I mean, that's not Jason Sudeikis. He's way above that, though. You know who's hot right now in the news? You said middling television. Yeah. I'd say that's pretty top tier. He's way more famous.

He's way famous now. Than middling television? Yeah. Yeah, no, he's above that. Before 2020, maybe. Okay. I'm just saying. I'm going to 2019.

I'm going to 2019. He's been in a lot of movies. I don't know. Yeah, but not a lot of good movies. Yeah, but that doesn't make, middling movies. That doesn't, who's the dad

from Modern Family? Ty Burrell. Can we get him? Would that help us? good movies. Yeah, but that doesn't mean that doesn't that doesn't who's the dad show success modern family Ty Burrell. Can we get we get that guy now that's middling would that help us? That's pretty good.

Do you think that's like the right kind of no, no, he might be too low. Oh, you know who we get right now? Brendan Fraser. Oh, he's so hot right now. He's hot right now.

And I just saw the mummy again yesterday. So I know everything about him. It's like the third episode in a row. We saw the mummy again yesterday so i know everything about him this is like the third episode in a row we've mentioned the mummy or brendan fraser i mean i saw it yesterday you think i'm gonna knife we talked about it before and i hadn't even seen it yet that's what i was talking about 1999 it was a different time you could still indiscriminately just kill people in movies and it was funny yeah you just pull the trigger somebody got

burned to death when he just shoots that guy with a sword i mean yes uh jonathan came running into a room and accidentally knocked a guy into a fire right horrifically burned to death and he laughed and then left and no one cared oh he's the comic relief yeah he's the riley of the moment all right so riley is the brandon frazier if you want to frazier say his name brandon fra. If you raise or not, there's no. He's not a guy from. Oh, I thought it was. I thought Brendan Fraser was Fraser from.

Oh, OK. I get it now. Brendan Fraser. Fraser. OK, Brendan Fraser. If you want to come on this podcast, we'll give you like. I don't know. I'll fucking clap for 10 minutes. Oh, we can.

We can see the ovation. You just have to keep saying, I failed. We'll keep clapping. And then you let us know what you want to eat. We'll, you know, get it. Short of him, we'll get it. But it has to be limited. Yeah.

He could be the first guest. I mean, he could be on Space. No. No. Real show. Okay. He gets the star treatment. Yeah.

We're going to get Brendan Fraser on an episode. Okay. You let us know. I can send you, like, a couple of things if you want to, like, take a pic. You know what I mean? Oh, you know what we could do, too? We could do our own version. You know McDonald's just goes, oh, BTS orders this.

We get whatever Brandon Fraser wants. We do a Brendan meal? Yeah, we do a Brendan meal. And they call it Face Jam's Brendan meal. That's such a good idea. You just have to go get it yourself. Somebody out there, send this to Brandon Fraser's people. Yeah, see if we can get a Brendan meal going.

We got to get on the ground floor. Yeah, we have to. Face Jam's Brendan meal. Nobody's talking about this guy yet. Everyone's going, Brendan who? Yeah. You're all saying Fraser. That's wrong.

Yeah. Exactly. And that's why he won't work with you. Yep. And Brendan Fraser is right. And we're going to find out what the Brendan meal is. Dude, I bet it's a good meal. Oh, I bet it's fucking great.

I bet it's a good meal. I bet it's baller. Damn, dude. If we can't get him let's get a Olivia Wilde why would we do that Panda Express Beyond Orange Chicken if you need me to call her

and beg her I can do that she says yes but we say we fired her we fired her. Yeah. We serve her, her dismissal papers while she's on a tour. It's just,

Oh no, this is really hard for you. I just want to run into her and go, you ever watch even Steven? You ever see holes? Oh man. Like I can act all right let's learn about the food Ben Express Beyond Orange Chicken co-developed with Beyond Meat

Beyond the original orange chicken features crispy pieces of plant-based Beyond Chicken wok tossed in the brand's signature sweet and tangy the original orange chicken sauce. What are they, fucking Ohio State? Yeah, they did.

What the fuck is this? Dude, it just sounds so stupid when you call it Beyond Meat. It's like it should be what regular meat is, but better. And it's just different. It's a stupid name. It literally says Beyond the Original Orange Chicken. It's not And it's just different. It's a stupid name. It literally says, beyond the original orange chicken. It's not. It's totally different.

You should call it different than the original orange chicken. Jesus Christ, this is some press material we got. Let's buckle up. Well, it's a co-developed thing. Oh, we're going to get it from both sides. Yeah, we're definitely going to get it from both sides. I'm down for a spit roast. Yeah.

Let's fucking Eiffel Tower this Presbyterian. I thought it, and I was like, hopefully nobody will. But of course, our team has been overjoyed by the undeniable excitement and incredible demand generated when we first introduced

Beyond the Orange Chicken No, that's not what it says. Oh, Beyond the Original Orange Chicken. Last summer. Wait, it's been here before? No, not here. Oh, okay. Last summer's an innovative twist on our most iconic dish, says Andrea

Cherng. Cherng? It's Cherng. It seems weird. Chief brand officer at panda express after nearly 40 years of creating original american chinese dishes that's not what it says on the box no it does not say american chinese kitchen yep quality and innovation remain at the core of who we are we're continuously exploring creative ways to present our guests with the comfort and crave ability they can expect from Panda while appealing to their ever evolving preferences and tastes.

That was, that didn't say anything. No, I know. It didn't say anything about the food in any way. Now, granted the flip is they just tell you what it is. Yeah. That's the other thing we do. We go, it has lettuce, tomato food but like if you can take this and apply this blurb to any really good then what's the point of saying why say it it's just pointless this is the thing where it's like this is carefully crafted by

our pr team and it's like you should probably not have these hey do you hey do you want to eat me but you're not down with that suck on this on this. Try it, idiot. Nobody gets anything out of this. No. Zero. Except we barely do. Uh-huh. It's close. Maybe it's for us.

We're walking a line, baby. I'm about to be done with it. Yeah. Also, it's not an innovative twist. No. It's just a different protein. You made it vegan. It's just a different protein.

Yeah, I wouldn't say it's innovative. It's not at all innovative. It was innovative when the impossible beef got invented. Exactly. That was innovative. And now you're just going, well, we just got it too. Yeah, it's that. What'd you do?

We bought it from a supplier. And get this. We put some sauce on it. That's exactly what it is. It's what you can make at home. We put the original orange chicken. Usually the press material is whatever that's goofy and who cares.

This is like the worst. Is this why you were in such a bad mood today? No. This press material? Yeah, no. Plenty of other shit. Oh, man.

Yep. Paris Campbell, the original orange chicken. Uh-huh. We are thrilled to offer beyond the original orange chicken to consumers nationwide

for the very first time, said Dariarius Ajami, chief innovation officer at Beyond Meat. By partnering with Painted Express to introduce new and innovative, say it one more time, innovative plant-based options that deliver the delicious

taste and experience of their iconic menu items, we're enabling people to enjoy their favorite dishes with the upsides of plant-based they just mentioned it at the very end yep this is plant-based yep i like it i like enabling people yeah i feel enabled and also imagine having the title chief innovation officer and this is what you want you want to enable people put the goddamn extra value meal back. Now, yeah. At McDonald's. That's right.

Give me supersized back. Yeah. Let me just. That's enabling me. Let me fuck myself up. Supersize me, motherfucker. All right. Don't give me impossible beef and call it enabling.

What's that guy doing? Chicken. Morgan Spurlock. Is that a great question? What's he up to? I don't know. Hopefully hiding in a hole somewhere so we don't have to hear about him. It's fine.

Oh, my God. What? Why? Don't need him. Is he a hole somewhere so we don't have to hear about him it's fine oh my god what why don't need him is he a bad guy no he's fine i didn't he do another he did supersize me and then he did another one i think he did supersize me again no well he did he did another one called shrink me daddy yeah and it was about getting shrunk and stepped on. Yeah, that sounds right. I think that's what Morgan... So that's what Morgan Spurlock did. I'm sorry, what's his last name? Gerbil and Bren Rocks. It's fine.

I thought you got that. Spur-cleron. Yeah. Oh, we talking about Morgan? Morgan Churlok. Cherng is a, I don't know what, I don't know where the name comes from, but it just, it seems, it looks like a typo. Yeah, it does.

It does. I could be pronouncing it wrong. It could be like Cherng or something. I think we're definitely probably pronouncing it wrong. You probably know. I think that in all of our episodes, this is the lamest press material.

I would prefer they had none. It's kind of hard to even make fun of. Yeah, because there's nothing here. It's just a wall of crap. And they went out of their way to have two people

give a comment. How many, they probably had a competition. They were like, did you get assigned the copy for the Beyond Meat thing? Yeah, I'm going to see how many words I can say without

saying anything. It really is like, let's see if I can beat you. I think they matched each other. They look exactly the same length. It's just... Maybe Panda's is one line longer. It's ugly. It's just ugly and there's just nothing said. I don't like it. Maybe it's the printer paper.

Maybe it printed out wrong. Maybe if you used a richer sheet. Next time I'll use a richer sheet. Use something with more cream. I'm getting hot. Time for the jacket to come off. Fever's breaking. Okay. Yeah?

Made something happen? I think somebody made something happen. Uh-oh. Was it steam? No. Stop. Stop the presses. We will stop this whole podcast if you get your steam deck.

It's fine. What happened? Oh, no. Oh, no. It's fine what happened oh no it's fine okay oh no oh okay think about that you know i'm so dumb i was like why would why would they do this and then i realized what happened yeah exactly um so should we review this food i i think so i think we should um honestly probably the second best menu item at panda express original orange chicken the original orange chicken the ohio state university followed by the beyond me one you're putting the second best thing at the because the orange chicken's so good okay i mean it's pretty good. There's a sizable gap. I'll give it that. I'm curious

if we had not got the original, I'd probably like... Right. If I did not have it to compare with, I'd be like, whoa, this is amazing. We went back and forth. That was an important thing to point out. That we had the original, we take a bite, and then try the impossible and back and forth.

So, we don't typically do something like that, but I with nick earlier today and he went what about this and i like that idea because most of the time the limited time food stuff is separate enough from like their menu this is like there's not really a comparable thing how come we didn't get the original not red tiny taco when we went to bleep in the bleep well that they didn't have that they only had the red ones which are hot and different

and spicy they weren't hot or spicy at all but that's they were just red no they said they said they were hot

well also we didn't need the original to compare because they tasted the same what um so I'm glad that we got the original

because I I think we could have made a guess yeah but I do think that this gives you guys a better base to judge here and let people know if they need it. I'm always looking to rile up my base. That's good.

That's good. Start beating the drums. Circle the troops. It's fun to try. I do recommend if you're going to try it do what we did. Get both. Get them in a little Oh, I do agree with that. A little ala carte thing maybe if you're not too hungry yeah um like me who hasn't eaten all day and has no appetite um but it doesn't have a lot of the issues that some fast food beyond meat has which is like again those kfc ones man not only were they hard to like eat, they were physically hard to eat. They were very chewy,

very spongy. It really was like an eraser. And this has some of that. It has, it's not chicken, it's chimpkin. Yeah. Chumpkin. It's a little hard. You gotta force it in there a little bit when you puncture it with your fork. Uh-huh. And then when you're in, it's like boing. Yeah.

And it's got some chew to it, but it's really not that different um so second best item yeah i mean i've only ever had orange chicken and whatever we had last time oh really oh is that important context as well yes that's incredibly important context. I don't see why. It's the second best menu item. Because Beijing beef is very good. Just saying. Where does that work on here? Second best menu item.

So, I'm gonna give it... I'm gonna give it a win for vegans. Alright! Go check it out, vegans. It's a very low bar. Yeah. Dude, tell me about it. A lot of losses. Sometimes when you're on a trip,

sometimes when you're on a trip, the only thing you can do is order a hamburger and take everything but the lettuce and tomato. Hell yeah. You ever just eat bread? I'm going to give it

a solid 78. Wow. Cool. Higher than the pretzel 78. Wow. Cool. Higher than the pretzel pub. Astronomical. Yeah, but not higher than the second time we had the pretzel pub. Definitely higher than the second time we had the pretzel pub.

An important distinction. No, no. You gave, this is higher than you gave it. But not higher, but not, but what I'm saying is the second time we did it, it was higher. So that's. The score you gave it. That's a men's made. No, the second time you scored. And we're not going to talk about it anymore. You gave it a 69. Yes. Yeah, it was higher. That's a men's made. No, the second time you scored you gave it a 69.

Yeah, it was higher. Higher than 68. That's what I'm saying. You can't bring it up anymore. I'm saying that this is higher than the pretzel pub. That just seems not important. That seems not essential to this conversation. 78 from Jordan.

What do you think, Michael? I mean, he's not wrong i guess like the benefit of it is most of the goodness from the orange chicken is the sauce yeah it turns out it's in the sauce roll it in that um it's not bad but it's certainly fake meat um it is a little like it's not spongy. It's almost like airy. It's like, ooh. You squeeze it. You can pinch it a little. You expect it to go, eek. Yeah, if you pinch it, it would go, ooh.

Or it might go, oi-oh, oi-oh. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good. That said, I have no need for this. Right. I think we got to, what is it? Is killing cows making more CO2 or less CO2? I don't, whatever. It's not so much the killing as it is the growing,

the raising and the maintaining. Oh, so we should be kill more of them. I say kill and eat more. Well, kill and eat more. Yeah, you would, well, we should kill less because if there's less demand, you would raise fewer cows. No, no, kill and eat more. Just don't make more. Oh, yeah. No, kill and eat more. Just don't make more.

Oh, yeah. No, kill and eat more, but then make more. Oh, no, that's the continuing the problem. Well, it's status quo. In fact, I would say- It's not increasing the problem. No, no, never mind. I agree with Michael.

Let's keep the status quo. I would go as far to say it's doubling down on the problem. Let's just keep the status quo on the meat industry. They're not hurting anybody. Uh-huh. Okay. Jordan, that's the thing you need to's doubling down on the problem. Let's just keep the status quo on the meat industry. They're not hurting anybody. Uh-huh. Okay. Jordan, that's the thing you didn't consider. Not even the cows.

This is the status quo. The cows, they want it. Yeah. Okay. Quite frankly. The cows, they love it. Yes. They love being eaten.

Can you imagine being revered as a creature and everyone in the world just wants to consume you for your deliciousness? Mm-hmm. What an honor. Think about it. your deliciousness. What an honor. Think about it. What an honor. What an honor. I wish people wanted to eat me.

Munch up. I might have to reach out to Armie Hammer. See if I can get it. Just a little. He's not doing anything. We can get Armie Hammer on this show. I think that would get us an award of some kind. That would be awesome.

Not the one we want. We would end up on Dateline NBC, but it would be different. Bro, if you're telling me I'm gonna get fucking eaten and I might get to meet... No. No, no, no, no. No. Your kids might. No, no, no. I'm gonna... I'll

be the one in a hundred episodes where someone survived and he just, like, ate my arm off. Every now and then they go and they'll tell you the story themselves. And then they go and they'll tell you the story themselves. And then they say, that's right. So-and-so, after two years of recovery, is ready to talk. Oh, so that can be you.

That can be me. And the rest of us get eaten by Armie Hammer. And I'll go to talk and I'll be like, I remember when I met Armie Hammer. Because I've eaten most of my face. Right. I remember when I met Armie Hammer. The supple meat cheeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you kind of ate some of my vocal cords. Yeah, I get it. How about that score, though? He ate me kindly. Uh-huh. He said, nothing beats the real stuff. Uh-huh. But I'd have to give this, like,

it's pretty good. It's pretty good. I'm going to rate it up there. I'm going to rate it up there. I'm going to rate it pretty high. But it being beyond, obviously, goes through the factor of cut in half automatically. That's not real me. Right.

So a 90 becomes a 45. Got it. Yeah. It's the alpha thing to do. What? What? You said it's the alpha thing to do? I live on

you mean D yeah I use different terminology sorry yeah it's like imperial metric 6150 there's a miscommunication going on there I just opened my fortune cookie oh I was gonna say that's the snack for snack attack the fortune cookie yeah so you didn't get any

yeah what do you mean don't we have like a hundred million snacks yeah we have like a hundred million snacks? Yeah, we have a bunch of snacks. And so we're eating. So we're eating this like. We're eating the fortune cookie. This styrofoam cookie. We have to rate the cookie.

Mine's broken. Guys, get a load of this fortune. A friend's success will benefit you. Oh. Who is it? I think Nick's about to win the lottery. Who knows? Okay.

Mine says, a personal mystery will be solved with a smile? Oh! What the fuck? Look at the personal mysteries you got going on. Wow. Okay. This is a good fortune you embody selflessness wow you know what i never would have said it too humble but you know i'm glad someone else did i

would never have the courage i got a fortune cookie once that said everyone agrees you are the best i got i got it at dino with a bunch of friends and i was like read it and weep yep you're welcome they were so mad yep all right what i wish i don't understand why another one should just say no you're the best and just hope two people get right it's just the guy typing them up fucking with people yeah the last guy sucks oh that guy's a stupid fucker oh Oh, man. These fortune cookies suck. Yeah. This is like a...

What are you talking about? This is great. Fortune cookie seems like something it'd be good to have like a never-ending supply of them, like a hundred or like a thousand of them. A lot of these. When you're like stuck in a desert

for a hundred years. Yeah. And you're pulling out little bits like this out of your pack because even if you got a hundred million of them, you still have to conserve them because you don't know whatever you're ever going to get real food it's like whenever you see like an apocalyptic movie they're eating like some sort of jerky they got from somewhere i don't know everyone's just like everyone knows

how to dry jerky everyone has to ration a jerky and they've got yeah and they've got like a jerky packet and they just take like a little nibble no one like eats eats like real food. No. Unless it's a big plot point. Yeah. That's us now with these fortune cookies. Oh, that's good. So what do you give the score? 41. That's about what Michael gave to the orange chicken.

It's vegan, so I cut it in half. Yep. Now I'm going to penalize this because it doesn't have any beef in it. It should have more meat. Right. I'm going to giveize this because it doesn't have any beef in it. It should have more meat. Right. I'm going to give it a 65. Okay. Fortune cookies are fine.

53. I feel like these ones are particularly bad. They're like stale. It's got the sweetness. Yeah. But they're a little stale. They definitely put artificial flavor. The cookie in itself is a pretty good cookie, a fortune cookie.

It's subtle. It's sweet, but it's not crazy. But a fortune cookie generally, it's sweet, but it's not crazy. But a fortune cookie generally, it's just not a good shape. Right. If you put a big piece in your mouth, you're going to get poked. Yeah.

You're going to get your mouth poked with a corner or an edge or something. Yep. It's not great. Whatever American guy came up with this. Thumbs down. Thumbs down. So 53, there you go.

Well, if you want to send us snacks, you can. Send them to Face Jam, Care Bear, or 1901 East 51st Street,. So 53, there you go. Well, if you want to send us snacks, you can. Send them to Face Jam. We will eat fortune cookies. 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. That's a fucking guy. You can be a part of Snack Attack. You can also follow us at Face Jam Pod on Twitter and on Instagram.

Stay up to date on Face Jam news. I did that. Stickers are out now. Switch Fork restock is soon. Stay spooned. Stay tuned. And... What's a spoon? Stay tuned. Stay tuned.

Did you slip? Are we doing a spoon? And then also spooky Halloween monster food guy shirts and pins are out now. Nick's wearing one right now. Just so you know, they're all different food guys. It's not one guy. No. I think there's three different ones on this one.

And then the first run of spooky food guys are It's not one guy. No. I think there's three different ones on this one. And then the first run of spooky food guys are on pins now. I love that shit. Get them in every form. The fries are my favorite, I think. I really like the chicken sandwich. I like the ghost taco. I think they're all really good. Chicken sandwich,

is that the sweatshirt, too? I never wear it because it's a sweatshirt. It's the hoodie, yeah. It's always hellish. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. So.

Wow. That's it. Well. This is a short one, guys. Yeah. This is a short one. So this, we should mention, this is it, right? This was the last episode. What?

The last episode of Face Jam. This is it. Yeah. I guess we should probably just be done with it. Extenuate them circumstances. I don't know. I thought maybe we could have ended on a high note, but not this one.

I mean, do you want to do the next one? Alright. We can end it on a high note. It won't be this one. So this won't be the last one. I mean, we'll see if I come around on it. It could be the last one. I thought he just wanted to get high. I ended on a high note. That's what I thought he was saying.

Also, Spittin' Silly will be out. A new Spittin' thought he was saying also spit and silly will be out a new spit and silly will be out it always will be out I want people to know they have to know it's on the feed they must know if you just subscribe to this and it's the first episode your ass is going to be surprised when you see

spit and silly in your downloads next week and you're like what the fuck is this that's also us imagine people who aren't subscribed to podcasts you manually find it in your downloads next week. What the fuck is this? That's also us. Imagine people who aren't subscribed to podcasts. Like, not... Go manually find it? Yeah, like, search for it. It's annoying as shit.

You would never know. Because I do it with TV shows that I listen to as podcasts. And it's fucking annoying. Oof. I don't like it. Yeah, it's not convenient. All right, Jordan, wrap us up.

Jordan, wrap us up. Let's get out of here for the last time. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Goodbye? Period. Question mark? Exclamation mark. Exclamation mark.