100% Eat - Pizza from a Gas Station %% Quiktrip Jalapeno Popper Pizza

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

Sauce Monkey is focused and it's all background noise so don't worry. Our Heroes try QuikTrip's pizza offering which is almost not pizza? Eric can't say no to roller food & Nick ordered a lot of food. What's up with that deer in the dumpster? Help on pump 3 for old woman. Grab some merch at https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100% Eat the show where we try every fast food restaurants. We'll let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Spheres. Jordan, how are you? From memory. Yeah. He didn't even read it.

I mean, just hold it because it's there. I memorized all my lines too. Nobody, nobody claps for me. Jordan's, I know. I'm supposed to say, and I'm saying it now. You guys are harder. You guys are on script. This is good.

Well, Nick asked if I was ready. So I had to prove it. Yeah. I also asked Nick if he was ready and he got mad. No, he went. When we were. in that quick trip ordering food

and stuff. Yeah, he's fading it out. I think he was Well, I'm glad. I'm glad he kept it going there. Because yesterday. Nick takes notes very well

even if sometimes they're jokes. He doesn't take them well at all. He executes on them. He takes them very easily. He's poorly what he does do. He is actually. It's true. Anoid as fuck when he gets notes.

What are you drinking? What's that one? American Do. Zero. Why did they do this? Why did you hold it up to the camera that can't like heads or tails.

You can't. You can't. It's green and red. You can see. Yeah. There you go. Oh. He got mad at me.

MacMarica. W. Anyway. Is it sugar-free? Yeah, it is. Zero sugar. Why did they do this, by the way? Is it sugar-free?

Why did they change it to American dew? Uh, 250? 250, maybe we put it on the 200-5-0. But why Mountain Dew? Why did they fill the need to... Well, I mean, would you equate Mountain Dew with any other country? Yeah. Well, I would

I would be even more specific and say I associate with a very specific part of the country, which is where it came from, which is Appalachia. Oh, I was going to say the Inland Empire, but you're right. Yeah, you're probably right. Well, the hillbillies of the West. Yeah, absolutely.

They're just, they're desert people. The same ilk, but just a little different. Yeah, different climbs. It's the 250th celebration, 1776 to 2026. A good run for America, but 250 is all we got. You know what? I say, let's just, yeah. Let's just call it there.

What do you mean? Just pack it up. Oh, I see. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We could do a new country. Oh, you think so? New America.

New America. Whoa. American, American, yeah, okay, okay. All right, we're getting there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. America. The nudifle.

What? What? What? The nudifle? Like beautiful. But nude. Yeah, but nude. But nude.

Newtiful. That's right. We're a nudist country. No. I said new to full. Got it. Today is a nickpick. It is.

Big time nitpick. I was going to say when we were in that quick trip ordering the stuff. It felt they were road trippy. Yeah, big time. Yeah, guys are standing in there. I'm not usually in a convenience store. It's not just like stopping in a convenience store on your own. When you're with a group and you're old like talking about, ooh, I want to get this.

I want to get that. Everyone's picking up stuff, go look at this. It's like, definitely road trip vibes. And I was like, kind of miss it. It was fun. I would love to do something else like that because there's a good time. And then we saw Voodoo Ranger for sale and we were like, focus up.

Yeah, come on, Voodoo. Send us on another road trip. New do. Vood. Nothing about it. Newdo America. So what did we get today? What are we reviewing?

Yeah, we're talking. So what we're reviewing today is what Nick's on the side of a building. It's the W Quick Trip, Halapeno Popper Pizza Why is there a double? That's weird, I don't know. Yeah, because you put W. That's weird.

Oh, you know what? Do you think Q is right next to W? Hang on, hang on. Waterburger. You didn't backspace enough. You do. You got a file. What's crazy is that water burger at this point is so many episodes ago.

It's file, make a copy new. And then that and then I just, yep, that's it. That's it. Well, quick trip. Yep. What quick trip. W. W quick trip.

Mike chat. Halopeno, Popper, Pizza. on the side of the building. He did. And he said must have. He sent a picture and we said, Nick, it's a Nick pick. It's been a while for a Nick pick.

Let's do it. Dude. I think we could have waited. Then, fucking yesterday. He's like, they have a scrambled egg pizza. It wasn't just yesterday. It was almost like 10 p.m. Yeah.

Where Nick is like, they have breakfast pizza and then sends a picture of the breakfast pizza. What time do we usually eat the food? Oh, lunch. One o'clock. Yeah, lunch time. Yeah. Yeah, we're at 112 right now.

Research. Breakfast time. Look, Jordan, I'm fine. I'm fine eating breakfast later in the day. There's no time. I want a breakfast scrambled egg pizza. I don't care what fucking time it is. I showed my wife.

Get the fuck out of here. She loved it. I showed my wife. Get out of here. Nick just sent breakfast pizza. And she's like, oh, like before looking at my phone, she's like, oh, is that like they cut it into squares and it has like the cheese and the sausage and you dip it into the gravy?

And then she looked and she went. fucking egg. And then I went, look at what Michael wrote. I don't want egg fucking pizza is what Michael's. Why not? Dude, I was just like, you say more? I don't look at that. Dude, it looks so bad. It was, you know that's gonna be dry ass egg too.

Yeah, boy. I mean, come on put it in the oven. They have to put it in the pizza oven. Going back to, we said this earlier, and I've said this a million times when we've had crazy pizzas. Like, there's a limit where when you put toppings on pizza, stop tasting like pizza. Yeah, it becomes something else. I would just say it's not pizza.

Right. That's definitely not pizza. Yeah. Just throw some scrambled eggs on top. Eggs on pizza, you've crossed the line. If you're in a quick trip. You're in some or you're in other territory. Nick, they sell.

Turn your scrambled eggs into pizza. Okay, I would eat that before I would want my pizza being scrambled eggs. Okay. Like put marinara. Put marinara sauce in the eggs or something. Right. That I would eat before I would eat pizza egg. It has a gravy.

Yum! Gravy's good. You want gravy on your eggs and pizza? What the fuck are you saying? It has gravy. It has gravy. Jordan, it's gravy. And we can put some frosting, sugar frosting on it too.

There's also sausage and potato. Right. Yeah. Is it a potato crust? Oh. That's a no. Oh, I'm going to go look. Nick, they sell the slices.

So we ordered off the iPad and got whole pizzas, but they sell slices individually. I went over to, all right, let's, okay. Oh, go on. Thank you. You interrupted yourself. I went over to... You interrupted yourself.

You screamed, ooh. You keep talking through it. It's just background noise. It's not background noise to us. It's right in front of us. You know, Nick, when you edit and your voice is real low in the edit, it's not now.

Oh, right. He's watching the show again. It's background noise. It's background noise. You're giving Eric new gray hairs. I don't know what it to do. They have chicken to make a bag. It's background noise.

It's just. directly to me. He's blasting all of us. He's facing all of us in talking. I thought they said potato. They don't even have a potato, Eric. Why do you keep interrupting yourself? Oh, they have sausage and bacon.

Just keep going. Gravy. This is my favorite. It's sausage gravy. Well, hang on it's sausage gravy. It's sausage gravy and sauce is different. What's sausage? sausage gravy.

It's gravy with sausage in it. Yeah, it's just... Oh, gravy with sausage into Texas. This place loves gravy. It's the white gravy. Yeah. Yeah. So they have individual slices, and I went to go look...

It went to go look to see if they had the... Holopino-popper pizza and individual slices. They didn't. They had pepperoni. I think they had like a three-meat one or something, and then like just cheese. So it was just like, oh, you know, whatever. Nick, if you were at a quick trip... And you are.

And you're like, I'm hungry. And you saw an individual slice of the breakfast pizza. Would you get it? Yeah. Just to try it. Honestly. Does it matter what time of day it is? No, just to try it.

I think they mark when they made the pizza on there. Not the question. Not the question. Not how fresh is it. Say they made it fresh. Oh. Is it like you would eat it at night? Yeah.

Okay. You can eat breakfast. I mean, it's a valid point. I don't want breakfast pizza. I don't want breakfast pizza from breakfast at night. Right. Yeah. But breakfast pizza.

But I still don't want breakfast pizza at all. I've been clear. Yeah, I don't want it in nighttime. So daytime is on the table. Oh, absolutely not. What about morning? Pizza in the evening. No, I would go with like some one of those rollers.

Yeah. And a lot of selection in the rollers too. A lot of selection. Like jalapeno stuff. Yeah. Kind of our first real deep dive in a quick trip. Yeah. And what they have to offer and was very impressive, actually.

The expansive store. with iPad ordering capabilities and apparently online ordering capabilities and the iPad order capability is like I would say it cut above most places that you order from an iPad it was. It was so clear and direct and fucking easy and fast. Even Nick could do it.

And Nick did it great. You let Nick do it. No reward problem. No, nope. You could order it real quickly and everything. I go to quick trip a lot because when I call, like when I do commentary for wrestling shows, I always stop and get a quick trip coffee.

They're also just popping up everywhere. And a water. There's quick trips everywhere now. And I just get the coffee in the water because now the coffee has the, like, it's on draft. You don't have to use like the grind bean. I thought that was cool. Oh, really?

Yeah. They just have draft, like, it looks like beer taps. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. They have a hot section and a cold section. You get hot chocolate. So they have hot chocolate. They have different like latte flavors, whatever.

And then the cold section is like nitro cold brew, regular cold brew. And then like vanilla latte and. Whatever. A lot of brews. Yeah. So I do like, I do a bunch of like just the nitro cold brew and then the vanilla latte. And it just hits. They have perfect every time.

And they had the coffee's on this side of the store. Yep. Yeah. Then all the, the, the, like, slurpees and smoothies. Yeah. No, no, on this side of the store. And then the teas are on this side of the store. Yeah.

They're all like, it's like three different walls. It's a lot. And then they have all of their. There's like 10 different teas. All of like their freezers are against the wall, but it runs the whole. length of the store broken up by like the kitchen in the middle. The command center. Yeah.

And it's all alcohol on one side and the other side is just like every other drink you could imagine. Every drink. Yeah. They even had the small coats. Yeah. It was, uh, that was cool.

It really is, you were saying like if you're on a road trip and there's like no buckies or whatever, quick trip is like a great alternative to that. I think it's way better than 7-Eleven. I was like, way, way,

wait, wait, what a 7-11 do that's anything like that. Yeah. Like even there's slurping machines. They have, They have drinks. Yeah.

They have like the rollers, way less. Yep. Yeah. Hot dog. They have way less Lurbees. 7-Elevens are rarely that big. No, they're not. Not even close.

The food that they have there is fucking terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Like the packaged food is, like I eat that. Like I said, I like the tuna fish there. I don't care. They don't make it fair. It's packaged.

They have like intimates. But like the pizza or the chicken wings are fucking pathetic at 7-Eleven. Like it is fucking. The pizza there. The P-7-11 pizza is terrible. We're reviewing the pizza at QuickTrip, which came out. We ordered it. You do not order it fresh at 7-Eleven.

No. No, they make it. It's a just sitting there. They make it and you get it when you're ready. The food came fast, man. It's determined that your fates shall meet. Yeah. Right.

For cooking two whole pizzas, it was fast. I watched the girl in the back like making it and everything too. Like, she worked really fast just to two whole pizzas, boom, boom, boom. slapped it down really easy and the whole time we were just kind of perusing and Michael going they're called smoothies but they're slushies well that was he's got a good point you have a great point

they looked just like the rest of the slushes and they're right next to the slushes but then there's a whole separate section that says smoothies smoothies don't have smoothie smoothie isn't ice have a finer like yeah texture it just looks exactly the same with a little spinning window and I was just like and you can't convince me is there an asterisk here

like what makes this a smoothie Is it smoothie flavor? Like smoothie in that there's fruit in it? Right, I don't. There's usually other components of the smoothie. It was. They're just like different flavor of slushies. It was cool going to a gas station like road trip style.

Yeah. That felt like how it felt like when I was a kid that it was like, oh my God. There's like, the huge selection of like crazy stuff that I would never get. And they had just like a ton of it there. We were looking at like the protein. They had like a bunch of like protein shakes. Witcher has its own brand, which I'm sure is filled with, what's in between microplastics and like macroplastics? Medi plastic.

Medi plastics. I'm sure it's filled with like medium plastics, but it's 35 grams of protein in the one drink for like four bucks. Yeah. Which is a steel. Like a dollar, dollar and a half cheaper. Yep. Yeah. That's a steel.

Protein drinks are fucking expensive. I feel like it's a good example. There's kind of five bucks a bottle of like a place doing something unique to get people like to stick to coming back. Yeah. Like to build loyalty. It's like, oh, I love... You got to get gas. I mean, you don't.

But most people... I was talking about that yesterday. Well, you gots to get jalapeno popper pizza? Yeah, you do. You got to do that. You do? I might gots to get

Mitro hot chocolate. Dude, it's good. Not all of them have that. The draft. That's a newer thing that they added to a bunch of quick trips. But that's something that could really set them apart.

Yeah. It's brand new. I mean, within like, the last year they started adding those and I go to Quick Trip all the time because, like, specific. specifically because of those draft coffee things.

It's one of those things that I feel like most businesses will look at that and go, yeah, but we're not seeing any, like, actual, like, return on us. Like, there's nothing that, like, connects installing these things to an increase or, like, but, like, the increase in Eric. The intangible thing is like getting the Eric's

or even us to talk about it, I think is worth it and kind of, like, immeasurable. We could be for a quick trip what we were for Taco Blankin. Oh! I don't think they need our help with that. It might. They're Oklahoma-based. We'll go to the original.

I'm okay. Him of all people. No. He doesn't want to go to Oklahoma. What a hell. It reminded me of something I ran into. You're going to go to San Antonio on Saturday? You guys want to go to a game?

Yeah. Hey, the tickets are way cheaper here than they are in New York. Yeah, no shit. I was looking at him yesterday. You see people like flying from New York to go to the game. It's way cheaper. burnt to fly, stay at a hotel and go to the game. That is to go to New York.

Yeah, I think tonight's tickets were like $4,000. Yeah, were like the cheapest. Saturdays are like $1,400. Mombani bought a ticket and it was $1,000 and it was just standing room inside the arena. Wow. Yeah. And I don't even think he met with Trump. He was sleeping.

Right. Got him. Did he stay for the whole game even? I don't know. Probably. By the way, this comes out June 30th. Oh, yeah. He mucked that up.

Yeah. Just like the traffic and everything. Oh, dude. It was bad. It was gnarly. Oh yeah. They actually asked him like, don't, please don't come. Yeah, we're doing.

There are watch parties like, regardless of giving a fuck about him, just the security and everything was like a hell hole. Yeah, gnarly. We had it when I was at PBS and we had Doug M. Hoff come. Oh, yeah, that's right. For a taping and it was like the whole place shut down. It was like a week in advance.

They were coming and scouting and setting up stuff. Pondon dogs at events. Yeah. They were. I could hear them. watching from a lamp post at the top. But the thing I was talking about with the value and stuff

remind me of something I ran into. Yesterday, I was trying to think of what to get my dad for Father's Day. Even though it's June 30th. Not for us. Happy Father's Day. And I was like, the most dad movie you can get is Master and Commander.

Yeah, oh, it just came out of the 4K. And I found that. Oh, wow, cool. Oh, this is great. I already know for a fact that he loves this movie. They didn't make a ton of those too. That's good. I think it was like a pretty limited run.

So I grabbed one. I was like, oh, cool. What are the bonus features on this? A historical pop-up map that shows where they are in the movie. Deleted scenes. Yeah. And I think that's it. Yeah.

The thing that... What happened to special features? The thing that happened is that everything is on streaming now. And so there has been a... Even if it was like on DVD before, the re-release is like, we will remaster, like... They'll remaster the movie in the scenes. But they don't... There's no want or care for, like, the...

I want. The bonus features, I agree. I care. I totally agree. I was looking at the original. You're not enough. I was looking at the original bonus features of the first DVD. Yeah.

That came out in like 2004. It was like a 19 minute documentary of making the movie. Yep. And, dude, I remember like Harry Potter DVDs. They had games on it. Yep.

Yeah. Like games through the menu. Yeah. And those are just things that they don't invest in anymore. It diminishes the value of what you're buying. It would have been. Yeah, but now they can put it for three, like a three minute thing on HBO.

Yeah. Watch this. I mean, if there was a place I could go, what I thought about doing was also buying the DVD, ripping those scenes off, putting them on a different disc and sending them with the DVD. Nice. I think we would be in a different world if at the time

when streaming was becoming so like ever present, if it was like, I'm so you saying. Someday. Here's the movie if like when you went to it, it had the bonus feet. Like, you know what I mean? Treating it the same way.

It's totally doable. It's, I feel like. It's more effort. And for like the. out, they're not getting anything back, so why would they do it? But like, that's the thing we've lost with physical media. I don't want to become a podcast that's like, we're physical media guys.

I largely... That'd be really weird on this podcast. I don't think we've ever been physical. Yeah, I don't think, uh... We could try it. We could try, we could try eight track. Should we sell some? We could give it a regulation.

You did like a record, right? A vinyl record? Yeah, yeah. What could we do that's different? Beta. Cassette? Beta. You do a Blu-ray.

Well, and we'll do all kinds of bonus features. No, do HDDVD. Oh, yeah. Dude. That's... Good luck trying to watch this, asshole. HD DVD. We'll do mommy pictures.

Can't read it. HD DVD is such a fucking funny. If we mastered an HD DVD, that would be fucking awesome. If there were no bonus features on like the Red versus Blue discs, I probably wouldn't have gotten into like filmmaking or anything. Totally. Like listening to those commentaries and stuff. Yeah.

And then I wouldn't have cared about rooster teeth beyond Red versus Blue if the commentary commentary is. Yeah, exactly. I used to listen to those. Like those were like their original podcast. Yeah. That was for me. Yeah.

You still listen to those all the time. Yeah. We did that with Mega 64. We would re-release. Every time we re-release. It would keep, we keep the old commentary, but then do a new commentary track. There was some, even on Homestar Runner DVDs,

they would have, I don't even know how someone would find them. I had that, like, Panasonic TV with the VHS player and the DVD player. I had a remote that had everything on it. So you could even control audio track. And so what I would do was like for every like video that would play anywhere on the menu, I would just hit audio track and see is there a commentary on this? Yeah. Some would have it would go like one of one or one of two.

Some would have three tracks. I go, how would you ever find an additional secret track if you didn't have this function? And some of them were like they would just do the commentary and character voices. Oh, that's fun. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah, I think we just lost a lot of that stuff.

I like the... It sucks and I wish it would come back. That's all. Armageddon commentary track. Oh, yeah. It was just like... Bad Affleck. Like shitting on the...

It's awesome. That's awesome. That's so cool. I wish there's a resource too of like a Wikipedia or something. This might exist of like that tracked DVD special features and stuff. Yeah. Because I would almost like take it upon myself to try to take those and remastered. So there are.

And even they go on further, that but good ones. Yeah. Yeah. I don't care about all of them. Tell me the good ones. There are people who are like, tell me the Ben-Ass like ones. Yeah.

There are people who have like Plex servers and stuff and that's what they use. Because when you rip, when you rip the DVD, it just comes in as like garbage file stuff or whatever. And so it tells you this is this, this is this. And so you can get like the full list or whatever.

This show wouldn't exist without commentary. No, we were literally. And like, it was near the tail in when we were doing Blu-ray stuff for our DVD releases at Brewster Teat. You could do, so much less.

You couldn't do Easter eggs. You couldn't do many menus. So we really had to dumb it down. But I still insisted that we do

commentaries. Yeah. And yeah, the seedling of the show happened in a commentary of the recording. And today, at the time of this recording,

it is the 10-year anniversary of camp camp. It is today, yeah. Fuck you're looking to me for. Blessing. You're the camp camp guy. Oh, he is. Oh, I'm sorry.

You were on it. Are you not Miles? I stopped listening after my... people do think I'm Jean all the time at conventions. Really? Why?

Because he looks like sun. Oh. Oh, yeah, they both have yellow hair. One of them has a tail, though. I forget which one. Yeah, but he usually keeps it inside. The sauce monkey? No, I wish you had that tail.

We've been very fucking clear. Oh, that's right. Sorry. Who are you? Who are you? Sorry. What's apartment do you work in? Sorry. Sorry.

I don't care. I'm just using it. You fucking see it? Hey, do you guys want to learn about a quick trip? Yeah, let's do it. Teach me. I'm actually interested. Okay.

Founded in 1958, QuickTrip has grown to a more than $11 billion company. Yeah, they don't need our help. With more than 1,000 stores in 17 states, QuickTrip gives back to the communities it serves donating 5% of net profits to charitable organizations in those communities. That was taken from QuickTrip.

No way. You didn't just offer that up? Well, it was also on other press releases that I found and it was like that word for word. And then it just said, all of them just said, and for more information, go to quicktrip.com. And it was like, I'm there.

I'm like, oh, so this is like the thing that they're like, this is our size. We're also giving back. We're pushing hard. Real quick, this is also kind of timely. But yesterday, Pete Terry's announced that they're becoming kind of a worker cooperative. Yeah. They're letting them have an ownership state. 18,800 employees are invested now as like owners of P. Terry.

That's such a good idea. And they're doing profit sharing. We should do that. They want to hit 20% of profit. sharing for their employees. Yeah. Oh, you want us to make hamburgers. Yeah. Oh, hey, we can grow. We can branch out.

And breakfast pizza? Oh, breakfast pizza. We'll make monkey burgers and we'll make breakfast pizza. And those are our two things. I smell a video. This fact is so true. We start a business. This is a good fact, Jordan.

You'll be familiar with this one. Fact. They have sandwiches. They make them there. They make them behind the counter. Fact provided by Nick a bunch of times while driving to a different restaurant to eat. True. That was also not on camera.

What was funny about that was like, they make them behind the counter. And then there was silence. Here's how, no, because here's that what? Yeah. We were talking about quick trip.

I think we had driven by it. We drove by it. We were like, do you think they have the pizza? And then you said they also have sandwiches. Yeah, it was like, they have sandwiches.

They make them there. And then like, nobody said anything. They make them behind the counter. And I was just like, stop telling me things about the sandwiches. But then he kept going. But then I said sandwiches.

Sandwiches. Sandwiches. We didn't get any sandwiches. No. No, I didn't see anyone making them behind the counter. No one was ordering them. No one ordered them at that moment. The counter was tall.

There was a lot of counter. The guy was tall. That guy was really tall. And then Michael went, he's standing like a box. Like, yeah. It was like, oh. Well, that was dead silence. And I realized you didn't.

Had no idea. I just thought he was like the tallest me and realized that they were like platform. Yeah. We should go back. I want to look down on you. Give him a tall shirt. Oh, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Would they fit him? Too tall. I know, too, because I, like, anytime I go to a quick trip, you can tell, you can tell the physique of a human, even if they're higher up than you. Right. A lot of times, there's just small, small. Yeah.

You should be that tall. It's like, how I know. I never see them, like, get taller, but they're just there and they're tall. Yeah, they become taller. Yeah. That guy, despite already being tall. Tall. Tall.

Yeah. He was tall anyway. Yeah. Your wife would be huge. Well, she'd be, like, normal. size. Yeah. Which would be huge for it.

Yeah. Is this what it's like all the time? Yeah. That's just throwing up. Yeah. Furtigow. Everything's so far from the ground. QuickTrip has agreed to sell its med-wise

urgent care business to health care provider St. Francis Health System, which includes nine locations in Tulsa. Bomber. This was the only place in America where you could get a white can monster and drink it super fast to see if it made you feel better. And when it didn't, you could see a nurse practitioner right away who would tell you that you're actually

sick because you didn't have any QT tachitos with it. Fucking pussy. They owned urgent tears. Were they attached? They were, right? Come on. They owned that, like most of them were in Tulsa and they were like,

it's got to break some sort of regulation. It's insane, right? It's like, well, I don't feel good, but I selling them. It would be like a Marlborough also. I feel like crazy, right? I feel like they probably they have agreed to sell it. I feel like they're probably told to. Yeah. They've agreed to do what they told.

Please stop suing us. We agree. Our lawyers told us, what? So we have to get rid of these. Our lawyer said, this was you? I went to this and we don't need to have this. This is not good. That is crazy. And honestly,

so America. Yeah. Oh, big time. Especially in Oklahoma. That is, the quick trip is attached to the urgent care. I also bet you go to urgent care for like some sort of ailments. and they're like, look, we can say, you don't have insurance,

we can sell of these meds, but it'd be cheaper if you just bought some buzz balls next to the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever flavor you want, though. We almost need an urgent buzz balls might take the edge off a little. Take two of these.

I prescribe two. They had the buzzball baggies. They had the huge ones. They're so big. They're so big. You go up to the guy on the platform and he's like, you got a prescription for this.

We almost needed an urgent care walking in because the lady almost ran us over. Well, I waited. Eric would have got run over. Oh yeah, and that would have been fine. But boy, she was just going. Go ahead the fuck out of there, dude.

Or she had to get the buzz ball while she was driving. Yummo. And you can't hold them. Yeah, she was driving with her knees and holding a buzzer. You got to get a big straw. Oh, I should get one of, I think I want to get one of those, like the bigie buzz balls for my wife and just make her hold it. It would be like this is a regular one. That's like a medicine ball.

That's like when Shaq holds a like a tall boy. Yeah, yeah. And it looks normal. Yeah. Construction workers near a Denton, Texas quick trip reported that a man followed them and threw knives at them. Early Wednesday morning, according to a police report. At about 2.09 a.m. officers were dispatched to a call about the incident

just because it sounded cool as fuck and wanted to join in. Reportedly, after finishing with the knives, they all took turn seeing who could hawk a lugie in the air and catch it in their mouth. Then they threw rocks off the overpass and talked about leaving this town behind. I'm sorry. The cops did that. How did you get there from knife throwing?

Turned it through Coming of age Small town store Desert Goal Ocean Avenue And I used to spit lootie in you You ever just No one understands

So I'm saying It's the cops One's leaning on the overpass And the other way Another one just throw the rocks You ever think about dying? I can't wait until we graduate The Academy

To the FBI They used to be hanging out at bars and hockey games with cash. Also, again, I feel like this is the second, like, Denton mentioned recently. This just sounds so Denton. Yeah, a guy throwing knives at 2 in the morning at construction workers. How do you... Which one? Throwing knives is like...

So, like... I mean, it's better than stabbing. It's true. But, like, when you say... When you hear throwing knives, do you think, like, kitchen knives? No, I think throwing knives. You think he opens his cloak and he has like 16 strapped in there.

And then he pulls out three and he holds them like this. You have a mold of your finger? Yeah. Oh, those are the small one? Yeah. Because you just like go for the neck. You know, or the eyes. Yep.

And the camera cuts and then all the cop has to do. Right. Just puts it in his hand and he goes, uh, and then it's like it hit him. Let me tell you. Because we're leaving Denton. We're going right back to Tulsa. Oh, wow. Earlier this month, Tulsa Police,

investigative reports of a body dumped in a QT dumpster. Once opened, they discovered the severed head of a deer inside a bag and said they initially believe the organs belong to a human body because deer organs resemble human organs. Officers examined security footage that showed a man walk inside the quick trip,

purchased chocolate milk, walk back outside, then tossed the deer carcass in the dumpster. Police are calling him the coolest man in town and name him mayor. The deer leaves behind a wife and three children. This sounds like something R of K. Katie would do. They then threw knives that the It could have been the same guy.

You don't know. Yeah. Yeah, drives all the way up to Tulsa from Netton. Can't be that far, right? Deer dump it nice for one kind of guys. Those are some quick trip. Yeah, a lot of happening at the quick trip. Did you know that deer organs look like human organs?

According to police, they do. That is what the police said. I know what every organ looks like just like by sight. I don't know what human organs look like. In the bag. Let's go cut open a deer. There was a dead pig on the side of the road. There was a dead pig.

Yeah. They're close enough, though. because they put pig organs in people. They do. Yeah, pig heart. They usually fail. And sometimes they grow. I think they're trying to get to work.

They're trying. Yeah. And then they grow an ear on the back of a mouse and they, you know, put pig stuff inside of people. What if you were a pig mouse man? You got a pig. I don't know, Eric. What's like?

What? Sweet. Did you see your father out on the side of the road? Father! You don't have to worry about a kinship to this hog. My dear. My dear. father his severed head. You're sending a message.

Sad. Finding a severed deer head in a bag in a dumpster at a quick trip is a lot of things. What went wrong with good eats? What that guy was doing that he was like, I can't salvage this. In the dumpster it goes. I need to fucking chill out with a cold chocolate milk. I need to stop. I call me down. He's something to take the edge off.

Of all the drinks there, too, everything you can get in a quick trip. You know what happened? he was trying to find an urgent care for the deer Oh that might have been it My wife Can you put this on something

Why are there a quick trip here Do you have a headless deer body in the back Y'all need any of this Sir Oh man This is just the oh this is just the quick trip This isn't a quick trip Urgent care

Ah it's the wrong part of town Oh well don't Fuck like well let me get a chocolate milk first Chucky milk yummy I assume he just hit it with his car or something Oh yeah probably I don't think he was hunting it Yeah

And its head came off Yeah Had it in a bag He hit it with the car And just up ahead Maybe Honestly he didn't want it to come back to life Like in Tommy Boy

Yeah He had to make sure Maybe he was hunting Maybe he killed the deer And then maybe he took the meat And then maybe he went I don't know what else to fucking do With this

I'm not gonna put this in my trash I don't bring it to quick trip Yeah Here's what I think of you. It's the closest thing. Hey, in Wolley in here? Mm, chocolate. Chocolate.

Oh, nice gold chocolate. On tap. Yonge. What else are you gonna do? That's a fun stuff. You can do anything at the quick trip. That's, you can get gas. You can get drunk.

You can get two, I think you can almost get run over. I think they would frown upon you getting drunk at the quick trip. Right outside. Yeah. Right outside. Take that buzzball outside. Put in a bed. This is my third space.

I buy a buzz ball and then go outside and stand. But yeah, but Nick's right, you put it in a paper bag so they don't know what you're drinking. It's a brown. Like a basketball in a fucking bag. What is that? Anytime I get something in a liquor store and they put in a paper bag. I feel like they're encouraging me to start drinking. I feel the same way.

Like I never have never in my life asses. Okay. They put it in there and go, I look that down and out, huh? I used to not know what that. You look like the type. Yeah. Let me take care of this for you, buddy. You look like you're going to need this.

as soon as you walk out of the store. Yeah. You want to crack it now? Yeah, yeah. I could open it for you now. Yeah, oh, uh, uh, yeah, it was, it's a thing where walking around cities, no, oh, no open container. But apparently the brown bag. Right, but if you ever see someone drinking out of a brown bag?

Yeah, you know exactly what it is. I wonder what that is. Yeah, chocolate milk. That's right. Like, it's such a bad loophole. We should start doing that. It makes no sense. We should all start doing it.

Messing people. You know, it's weird. Why drink here or in our homes or anywhere? No, no, no, no. I mean just like a regular drink. You want to drink your American do. Yeah, paper bag.

I'm going to drink my Coca-Cola. Caught you. Ha-ha. Take that police. It's a Heineken Zero. And then they throw rocks at me. And then knives. Oh no, not a dumpster.

Fuck, what was I going to say? Fuck. Was it about quick trip? Was it a curse word? What were we talking about? The bags. Nick really wanted to. Oh, it was about how, like, when you're in, when you're in Las Vegas, I've never had the urge to, like, take a drink out of a bar or something like out of the street.

But the whole city of Las Vegas, that's allowed. I did that when I went to New Orleans. Yeah. It was crazy. It just feels like, it feels so unique for some reason. I want to do it because I can do it. Yeah. I don't want to do it.

I want to do it because everyone else is doing it, God damn it. And they're jumping off this bridge. By the way, I still have a box of hot sauce downstairs. Oh, shit. Orleans. Fuck. Dude, we cut that so close to like Gracie leaving. Yeah.

Get to do the 100% heat thing. Yeah. Let's do without her. Yeah. Honestly, that's what it's gonna have to be. Yeah. They're good. Okay.

We'll do it. This is good. They're sitting down there rotting. Interviewer monkey. This is good. Michael got a big twisted tea. Yeah. It's rare to find raspberry.

Yeah. They always have regular and usually like a half and half. Oh, and then mango. Yeah. But raspberry is my favorite. So when I see that. big one, I like to get it. And then they also had buy two red bulls get one free.

Right, I wanted one Red Bull, but it was by two. I wanted how you ended up with three. Michael was just walking around the quick trip with like four drinks in his hands. Very cold drinks. That he had to keep setting down and going, well, because this guy made 15 laps around the store. You literally went around the entire store. And at one point I walked up when you, when you were like, hmm, and then didn't get the bottle of chicken.

I went, what is he doing? Waiting for you. No, you weren't. You were perusing and you went back to the coffee. No, you were not waiting. You started at the coffee and you were like, hmm, I might get this. I just kept following the group around the entire store.

And I just stopped once I got to the buffalo chicken. You were like, where do you go? I was like, I feel like you wanted to make sure there's nothing else he wanted. Yeah, why didn't even get a little more look. I even asked, Jordan, like, didn't even get anything. Well, it was fun to look around and see what they had at least. Could add candy. I know.

You asked him right at the end. You might want some candy. I'm tempted. There's a lot of impulse buys right at that. Oh, boy. And they are good impulse spies. If I was going to get something, it was going to be like a pastry or a candy or something. They had a, they have like talkies, but they're QT talkies and like they're off.

QTs. Yeah. And I almost get them every time I go to like an orange, right? Oh yeah. Tricked you. Oh, you open the bag. Yeah. What the fuck?

They're orange. But of oranges. Small oranges? Yeah. They are cute. All right. They're right for lunches. Yeah.

And then you're healthy. And so is jalapeno. It's allergic to. It's still. Popper pizza, which Jordan's Yeah, it's a kid teach us all about. That's right. Okay.

I kind of forgot this is why we went. Trink cheese. It was popper. Yeah, but not. Think of a popper. Yeah, but ripped it constructed into a pizza. Got it. That's what it was.

I kind of had the same thought. It was like, where are the poppers? Right? It's a jalapeno pizza. The whole thing in it. It's not popping. If it's a whole slice of pizza. Now, if they were just full on poppers on the pizza.

Yeah. I think in the ride-alogue, I go, what's the popper part? And Nick goes, cream cheese. And I kind of just go, oh. It's like the grilled ones, not the ones that are like fried and wrapped.

Those are the only ones that matter. It's the one where it's the hallipino halved with the cream cheese and then the bacon. Yeah, the bacon wrapped. Yeah. That's why I have bacon. Yeah. That's the bacon.

It's idiot. Finding information about this food was so hard. There's no press release and no food description. The only info I could get was from Redneck Snack on YouTube. And Drake Eat. He made one of these up. On TikTok. Nope.

It is a pizza with jalapenos, bacon, and cheese. This was a nickpick. But just in case they didn't have it. Backup. Breakfast pizza. Finally, we're looking at the bottom of this. Hand-tossed style crust topped with sausage gravy,

scrambled eggs, sausage, crispy bacon, and cheddar jack cheese. Sounds good. It doesn't sound good. It doesn't so good at all. That sounds awful. It sounds better.

because you said it had potato and it doesn't have potatoes. And that sounds better. It should have hash browns on it. On it. What should isn't what is. Yeah. If we were doing should,

I'm not sure a lot of this stuff would be a quick trip. So, come on. Just so everyone knows, the jalapeno popper pizza was pizza crust, regular dough.

It was cream cheese sauce. There was no other sauce, right? No, it was just cream cheese. And then on top of that was cheddar cheese. And then on top of that was as yellow as this can. Uh-huh. And then

and then jalapinos, pickled, I guess, and then, uh, crumbled bacon. And lots of that, too. There was a lot. They didn't skimp?

And also very, very tall. It was deep. It was thick. But it felt like it was mostly crust, but the deeper I ate, I'm like, there's a lot of cream cheese.

Yeah. There were some that was like, it was a lot. I really like cream cheese. I don't like it like jalapinos. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know I don't like it

I got halfway through and I'm just like I'm not eating pizza I don't know what this is this is like a yeah it's not it's not it's not pizza

it was yeah it's like closer to a bagel yeah it's not like a bagel it's not like a bagel it's not it's not it closer to pizza it was strange it was just like

all of the ingredients combined but they didn't form into anything no can I ask it was not like a pauper can I ask what redneck snack on

YouTube. Can I ask what he sounded like? Yeah. And it said Halpinia Popper pizza muckbang and I just went, oh, I'm not watching this. I don't want this. He's wearing a open in private window. He's wearing a cowboy hat. Imagine if you had half of your

all your dreams come true. Even even less beard. If you had half of that but probably three or four times as long. Oh, like it sticks out like all. Yeah. Uh-huh. And he was probably I couldn't put an age to him. He was somewhere between 19 and 24 is what I would guess. He was like 19 and 48.

And he's, he, nope, nope, he's just, uh, he just looked like a guy who, like, got done hanging, like drywall and then reviewed, he couldn't wait to get to the quick trip. Drake eats on TikTok, it looks like, he's like a guy wearing glasses in like a nice sweater who's like, hey, I'm trying this food. Let's see how it is. Got to eat it from the back. Hey, on my scale, that's pizza. It's like, eat it from the back.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. On my scale, that's pizza? And then he opened up the pizza and he got in there. But it was... Can we post that? But, again, not a ton of information on this. It was a miracle that it was there.

So... That's crazy. I'm... I guess I'm not shocked that somebody was excited about it. I think Redneck Snack is really stoked about American do, though. Oh, yeah, big time. Just like Nick. He's like a Nick-style guy is how I described it.

I don't have the action. It'll tickle your innards. Cool. Used to be there, catchphrase. Well, not a lot in terms of press material. Press material, N.A. None about this. Found some about domestic abuse,

but we're trying to keep it light. That was the, that was like the only press release I can find. Yeah. Like domestic abuse at the quick trip? Domestic abuse is like a safe place. I think it's like safe place for people can go to the quick trip. Oh, you didn't want to tell people. Yeah, that actually sounds like useful.

information, Eric. You wanted to keep that from people. Yeah. Yeah. We're strange. Keep them in their situations. Jesus Christ. You think there's going to be one particular comment about this section.

Anyway, hey, well, we have our review. I think there's going to be a couple comments about it. It's going to be. You may be. Evil man. Why won't you tell your wife about QuickTree? Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair.

Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair. Wayfair, every style, every home. Well, we have our review of Quintra. Paul, Beanie and hear from you in a second. We call you review. Do we have any from Daniel? No, there are no Daniel ones this time. There are four of them.

Are we, stop putting four on. Is this becoming the norm? No, no, I'm not trying to. You're doing if I'm, um, is I think it's because we're recording these so back to back. I want them to all be better than like the last one and this one was tough. Okay. Not a ton of people leaving reviews on Yelp for Quick Trip. Well, I imagine they're never talking about the food at a quick trip. You'll see. I think they're talking about the tall people and all right.

I'll go first with Kean. Keyon. Keyon L. Store 4136 didn't want to sell lottery tickets at 426 a.m. I asked if it was a store policy because I just left unload. another location that sold me tickets. No winners. Already a problem I'm seeing.

And she told me to go back to that store. If it's a location policy, I can understand that. But to say I cannot do it at any quick trip is simply untrue. As I just left the store, not even five minns down the road and purchase some.

Why are you trying to buy more? Go back. Also stop. Just wanted to grab tickets on the way into work. Again. Work. I need another hit.

She also kept mentioning cashback and I didn't need or want cashback. Overnights are a struggle for NAs. I'm sure, but it doesn't excuse customer service. Eric, help? I don't know what that sentence means. Overnights are a struggle for NAs, I'm sure, but it doesn't excuse customers. I had to run through what are NAs and all I could think was narcotics anonymous. That's what I was thinking too.

That's all I could think. But that... Is this some sort of subtle dig that like... Nurse? They're in with withdrawals? No, that's our end. That's what I thought. And I'm like, okay, so what's an N.A?

Or they're talking about the person working there. Overnights are a struggle for NAs. Hmm. I guess... Wow. We don't know. We're not cool enough. I don't...

Keep struggling. Damn. All right. Ashley A says, worst quick trip in the entire ATX and Central Texas area. Oh, that's saying something. The whole place smells like a disgusting combo of poop and super glue.

I've seen the DEA bust up a drug ring with about 10 state trooper police and DEA cars before. I just want to tell you a cool thing about me. The bathrooms have never been cleaned. Not ever. I think the diaper changing table has been down about one year in the same position.

Never cleaned. I walked in a few days ago and there was a plastic tub of blue liquid with dirty, stinky rags inside next to the hot dog rollers. Not one single hot dog or anything else. I doubt they've ever cleaned it. FYI, you're out of luck if you were hoping to get food here. Get it together.

I don't care how busy you are. Every other quick trip in the surrounding area is well stocked and clean by comparison. I'm waiting for the day the security guard starts cashiering. It's coming. He seems way too involved with the store operations and really needs to be outside telling aggressive panhandlers to leave and doing something about all the sketch bike riders wandering aimlessly through the lot.

This place is scarier than West St. John 7-11 by a landslide. Stop coming here. That was really descriptive. They come here a lot. The security card's going to start cashiering. It's coming. It's coming. Mark my words.

Oh, my God. It smells like poop and super glue. That's original. Also, also, again, the anecdote about the DEA bust up. Yeah, that was just... It had nothing to do with anything. I'm just letting you, I'm trying to buy some credibility with you. And I need you to know a cool thing I've seen.

Yeah. Yeah. I just thought maybe you would think that was cool of me. I really like this because all of the reviews feel like... Get it together. Get it together. All of these other ones are good. You should go to a different quick trip.

Did you read ahead? Yeah, you read the next one. I read the first sentence. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

Not reading ahead. You got it. got it. This is from Betty W. Betty White. I assume Betty White. Went there today for gas for my lawnmower and was using pump number six and the lever stuck.

I was yelling for help and pushing the help button to no avail. No one came to me. Finally, it got cut off by now I have gas all over my leg in shoes. Needless to say, I went inside and the guy acted like no big deal.

I said gas is all over out there and left. I'm really disappointed in the employees He's in older people outside. Help! Help! Help! Help! Help button! Help! Sprite gas around. And there's just...

There's just a guy who's over me. It's just a woman going, ah! And she's just spray gas in her and it hard cuts to a guy. He's in the background. He's in the foreground. You can see out the window. And I'm going to be honest.

And if the guy acted like, there's no big deal, probably wasn't. Yeah. Uh-huh. There's another one. I'm screaming for. help. Help help. Help help. What's the help? Help. Help. Help. How did it get stuck?

I mean, they locked it. They locked it. Yeah. And like, they panicked. And they waited until it was very full to the very tippy top and then tried to unlock it. You shouldn't, you shouldn't, you don't need to lock it. Because it doesn't, it doesn't, you don't need to stop. You don't need to lock it. It's not that big. It will be 16 gallons. It's barely one.

I'll lock this and head into the store. Just go get some. Ah! Ah! Help! It's like just the canons thing of the whole spot. Somebody needs to use it. They're waiting behind that.

It's funny. It's written like it slapsed. I know. I started out. And then I stepped on a range. And it hit me. It hit me in the face and nobody did it. The whole front of the store fell,

but luckily I was sitting exactly where the window was. It's very Mr. Bean. Oh, big time. Tinker. Help. Yeah, they'd let him say help. All right. Last fact.

Or not fact. You review. Which probably is a fact. Gene. Jeanne. Jeannie. Jeannie. No stars at all.

Extremely bad customer service. Paid for gas with cash. It was going to use debit card for cigarette and lottery ticket. Hell yeah. Clark said, let me wait on some of these other people. for people later and I walked out. If I hadn't already paid for my gas,

I would have got it elsewhere. Never will I shop at any cutie sore again. Gross discrimination. Three strikes from this senior white woman. Seriously, dude, you couldn't take another few minutes to wait on me while I was already there. Everyone is short staffed. My job included.

No excuse for such a hort service. Can't select no stares, but consider this a million negative rating. Oh, okay, no stars. If they're choosing not to help a senior white woman, really, who can, like... I'm confused by the... interaction.

Uh-huh. There's a line of people. Uh-huh. And she wants to cut them? No. No, she's doing, she paid for gas. She did one transaction with her debit card. She then went.

No, she paid with her cash. Then she wanted to use her debit card. So then she wanted to do a separate transaction to get cigarettes. Okay. And a lottery ticket. But she's already up there. Just why help other people? I don't know.

That's what's what happened. That's what she's asking. I think that it was. I mean, I mean, I would think, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll I'll leave it fair to go to one other person. Because you're now doing a second transaction. Like this person was waiting, you're still there, but it's a whole other transaction. But then come right back to you.

She's saying they did four people. Yeah. The line situation is a little... That's not what happened. Like, there's no way that they didn't help four people as she stood there. I'd agree with the logic of like, I know you're already standing here, but this other person was behind you and you're now doing a second transaction. Let me come back to you. But not four people.

The thing about Quicktrip also is that it's two people. It's two sides. Yeah. It's if they're helping someone on the left side of the register, Right. There's a right side that you can line up on and they help you as soon as they're done. And if there's one person working, they'll go back and forth. Uh-huh. Also, there's four people there. That's going to take no time at all.

What? I don't know. White lady. This poor white lady. But also, but here's the other thing. Where were the other two strikes? That's a great. That's a great question. She went right to three strikes.

There's precedence. She went right to three strikes. We don't know what it is. We don't know what it is. Yep. Yep. We should have done some more investigating. Maybe she's got other reviews on this quick trip. Maybe she saw.

Betty White get sprayed with gas and no one coming to help and she went that's got to be too striking but she saw that and went why she getting free gas that senior white lady

and they're not helping me a senior white lady come on what the hell anyway why didn't they sell that first guy lottery tickets what was that all about I was 426 a I don't know

I'm just trying to buy them on my way to work to be clear I just did five minutes ago down the road why won't you give it to me I could go back

but why should I have to but I'm just trying to get lottery tickets on the way to work again Five minutes later. Five minutes later. Well, I bought them. I got in my car.

I started driving. I was scratching them as I was driving. Realized I lost. Had to get a winner. Pull over again. I can't go to work without a winner. You need to stop. Big win for me today.

Win, win, win, win. Sell them to me. Well, those are... Overnights are a struggle for G. Yes, they are. This is a big win for me. Yeah, that's a big, that's a big one. That is a big win.

Let's see if Quick Trip can get a big win. Your reviews of Quick Trip, but we have our own review of Quick Trip, jalapeno popper pizza, Jordan will start with you. I would say, maybe write this on a whole.

It doesn't just have to be the pizza. I was going to say, Michael and I were talking about this. I'm glad that you said that because we already decided it. We don't give a fuck what you think. Oh,

yeah. Just did. Mostly because if we were just writing this pizza, it would not be good. Oh, it was disgusting. It was a weird thing. It was a piece of shit.

It's terrible. Yes, you are. What was the, it was awful. It was awful. The back and forth on YouTube. go by out of it, you go, I would never order

this pizza again. Or like you said, I would never order this. And then I was like, I was like, yeah, I'm also not like ever going to eat this again. And Nick said like, not before. You wouldn't before today. Yeah. I said,

and I won't have. Yeah. Today is the only day we will ever eat this pizza. Today is the only day we're eating. I have nothing about it. It's not even a pizza. It's not even a pizza. It's not even. at a pizza. It's just a bunch of shit from in a circular shape with crust. It's like a weird open face sandwich. It really does.

It crosses over the line into my pizza. I'm glad we got the pepperoni so we could actually try their pizza. Honestly, there was some back and forth as to whether or not we were going to do that. Like jokingly, it was like, we can get pepperoni as like a base to compare it to. It was, why would we do that? But Nick was actually on, he was right about that. And I was there to encourage him. Nick ordered the food. I put in the hall of pinio pop or pizza. step to the side, and then I said, go for it. No, he started doing laps around the stores. He did, he did.

I want to see what I wanted. Well, Nick was like, it was like, ooh, at this, at this, at this. And you were like, do it. Yep, there were pretzels. He didn't get the pretzels. No, there were, uh, mozzarella sticks. No, you were looking at pretzels. I was looking at the pretzels.

Okay, so what you said? No, you said you were looking at pretzels. Well, that was what the original thing that, that's what he's talking about. Right. No, but no, I saw the mozzarella sticks outside. No, we know that too, but I was the one that said, don't get pretzels, get mozzarella sticks. You corrected me. Right.

I'm not disagreeing with that. I'm not sure what he was disagreeing with, to be honest. And I won't get this piece of before or after. Because so far he's agreed with every fact. Keep going. Keep going. You don't have to listen to this. It's in the background.

Background. Yeah, just ignore him. Look, there's not much to say about the pizza. The listeners, they watch this and they go, why do they even listen? You can barely even hear him. But in reality, he's much closer than he looks. So close. He's so close.

This is background. The pizza's not good. There's not much to say about it. It was like it almost says like a cheeseburger pizza. Yeah, you were really... It's the chatter. The cheddar and the bacon. There's so much bacon.

Yeah, there was a lot of bacon. Crispy bacon. Take the bacon off and I think... Did you consider that it was crispy? Yeah, take the bacon off and I think maybe it's... That's for them. Keep going. But it's so loud. It's for them.

Let him talk to them. Let them have their neck The main characters here. Yep. I hope the spurs lose. No! At this point, maybe it's already... It's gotta be over.

Him yelling no is such a genuine reaction. No! I'm gonna hear it if they do. Oh, fuck. But even like taking the banging off, it's not gonna save this thing anyway. It's not gonna make it taste better. There's no pizza sauce.

It's gonna make it. It tastes less overwhelming. I always want pizza sauce on my pizza. I just want, I just want red sauce on pizza. I want mozzarella cheese and red sauce. I got to have that. Okay, but what about cream cheese and cheddar? I gotta have that.

I'm just tired of getting pizza that. That's not that. It's like some white shit. What if we did it in marineria? Because we got the pepperoni. You just put marinerer on it. The pepperoni was a good pizza. The pepper.

We were saying, we took a bite and it was like, that's why I told you to try it because you weren't going to. Yeah, and you were right because I tried it and it is better than like a roller rink pizza. Yeah. But it's like, it's not blowing anything out of the water. For a slice of pizza. For gas station pizza. It's not bad.

For gas station pizza, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's really good. If you get an actual pizza. To get that in a huge buzzball for yourself, you're going to be having a great time. Don't get all that you. Don't get eggs in breakfast.

Gravy pizza. Get regular food. Just get a fucking pizza. Get eggs. You got to get the egg pizza with 35 grams of protein drink. I'll make a short. Get a floppy chicken buffalo roller. That was still pretty good.

Which I heard was pretty good. The mouser. It was pretty good. Yeah. These things, these things that are like the standard non-deviation off the regular food item,

I think are great. Devant. No, that's him. Yeah. The main character. Well, yeah. Don't get him started talking again. Deviant pizza.

That's a good, like, pizza partner name. Oh, yeah. Welcome to Deviant pizza. Nice. Like, that stuff is just, like, perfectly down the middle. Like, it's the,

the mode, you know? It's like everything else, it's the perfect. middle where like there's 50% is better than it. 50% is worse than it. Yeah. Um, now if I was just ringing that pizza, the jalapeno pizza, uh, it's like a 25 or a 30. Yeah. Um, quick trip as a whole, I thought was very impressive and seemed like a really cool spot. So I'm gonna boost them up. There's a little bit with everything else to around a 71. Oh, nice. That's a little higher than that. For gas station food. Take the weird shit out. Yeah. I'm, I never,

With Jordan, it's a 70. Yeah. If, and also that large pepperoni pizza was only like $11. Oh, our grand total with all of our drinks and all of everything that we got, all the food was like $60. Which is whatever, because we also got a bunch of drinks and shit and coffee and whatever. That's so much cheaper than when we went to that burger came. Extra large pizza was like 11, maybe 1199. Which is $11 or $12.

You can't get a large deal. You can't get a large pizza for that price. Now, anywhere. And it would be like. So it's an average rating of 70.5 for a quick trip. Dude, gas station food, it's pretty good. Yeah. It's a, it's not bad to go to anyway.

It'd be a highly sought after for a road trip stop. Yeah. It's a great road trip spot. We're like, you're at the mercy of whatever is along the way. You know, say you're like driving through Texas and you're like hours in the middle of nowhere. A quick trip could be like a beacon in the night. It's flat and the horizon is never. Right.

And it's just a bunch of Leros and 7-Eleven. And then you just see one QT and you go, oh, thank God. If they were all that caliber. It's a 70 easy. Yep. So that's what you guys are rating quick trip. I just have to ask, if you're rating the jalapeno popper pizza, say this was like the third time we've been to quit trip or whatever and you're just rating the halepeno popper pizza, what would you get? I'd probably go right in the middle of like a 27.

I would like a 20. Yeah. I hated it. I took like three bites and I was like, I'm not a little more tolerable. That would be a 23. That would be a 23. It's not good. And Nick's taking half of it home.

Hey, try it. Go ahead. I did. Try it. Not you then. Well, them. He's not talking to you. I thought he was.

He's made this clear. I forgot that what he's talking. He's not talking to us. Because it just feels like it's so much talking at us. Will your wife try it? Yeah. Like a bite. Can you tell us?

So it's not going to be good then. Yeah. Because if she liked it or not, why would she eat more? I don't know if she likes poppers, honestly. Can you? Well, good. That's not poppers. It's the ingredient.

It's also not pizza. Can you let us know when she tries a bite? Can you let us know what her review is? Of course. Yeah. By the way. I thought this was funny. We were joking.

We recorded the Panda Express episode that came out last week yesterday and we were joking about how Michael got triple meat because he was like, oh, I don't have to come back. Yeah. Oh, motherfucker. I forgot about this. I guess your kids saw you got Panda?

No, I was like, hey, you want some brisket? And they were like, no. But I do want orange chicken. Take me now. I was like, God damn it! He said as a picture. He's like, I'm back at Panda. Damn it!

I was streaming and it was like, no fucking way. Yep. Dude, what the fuck. He got me. Damn. Did you get more brisket? No. Okay.

I got just a three piece Cream cheese Rangoon. Nice. I was full. I had the three helping a bike. Dude, I like, I hate the whole fucking thing.

I like did not eat last night. I ate the whole thing. But I was like, I fought the urge. I was like, do not get anything else. I do not need anything else. What about broccoli? That's the only just wanted broccoli.

And I go on beef and broccoli. And she's like, no broccoli. I'm like, fine, I'm not eating the beef. And then she picked out all the broccoli. What a strange fight? What a strange thing for a kid?

Kid, okay, right? But it's, but it's covered in Pan Express juice. That's true. You gotta remember that. Yeah, it's not dry frozen broccoli. No, no, no. It's like covered in just oil and stir-right. But hey, it's broccoli.

It's good broccoli. Yeah, but hey, it's broccoli. She's still eating it. I mean, I don't love broccoli anyway. But I was like, eat the goddamn beef. Yeah, no, I want the broccoli. Well, you can grab some merch at 100% eat. And you can sign up to support us directly at patreon.com

slash 100% eat. All kinds of different tiers, like the $5 tier where you get this ad-free and you get in the Discord. $10 where you can get the Michael Jordan podcast which will be new this Friday and you can watch every other episode. But boom, big style. I was thinking we add another tier

somewhere in the middle. And we do it, we do Michael Jordan free and it's just Nick. Like we drop our audio out. Oh, and it's just the main character. The sauce monkey tier? Yeah. Yeah. Sauce Monkey tier.

You just drop our mics. Let us know if you're interested. We'll let you pay us more for it. Yeah. You're a freak. But the big dog tier, 100% fan All through May if you'd signed up You could win a cuck chair experience

The winner has been selected But because when you're a 100% fan You get a shout out that we read on the show Jordan's been going through these And reading all of them How many do we have today Jordan? We're doing three again incredible Every time I check it there's more

I fear you People go oh fuck I gotta send that in Exactly, might as well So every Tuesday it seems Interesting What coincidence? how that works out. Hey, this one's from Alex Springer, who has a message that says, had to sign up for the chance to be a cuckaroni boy. Nice. Shout out to all my kids

who don't even listen to this podcast. Okay. That's cool, probably for the best. All my kids. We either have kids whose dad hates this or dads whose kids don't listen to it. Yeah, this is very strange. Shout out to all my kids. Huh? Shout out kids. I know you're out there. Hey, all of you. I think you're out there. That's 10 p.m. Do you know where they are? This one's pretty funny. At the quick trip through a nine. This is from Krista who offers us a real you review from Apple Podcasts.

Ooh, cool. This is about our podcast. Oh, this is even here. It says, I used to rate this podcast a five out of five. But it, they have gotten very complacent

in their format in a little self-indulgent. When were we ever not? The first three episodes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 99% the other is a movie for episode four. It's 99% nonsense that you'll forget as soon as you listen.

Correct. And 1% content. I honestly don't know how they get as many sponsors as they do. Parentheses, two stars. Nice. That's awesome. That's fucking great. Go leave five star reviews for us like this.

But then in parentheses, write that it's less stars. I'm a big fan. I think that's phenomenal. That's awesome. And our last shout out is from Kyle, Dr. Monaco Hoover, who says Ringside Cafe's old school burger

is the best burger in Columbus, Ohio. Maybe even all of Ohio. Prob even top 10 nationwide. You wanted to go to Ohio. Wrong show, but I still want to flex by 135 burger counts since September 1st. Holy shit. Jesus fucking Christ. That's impressive.

That's the wrong show. That's impressive. Or not impressive. Yeah. It's called ringside? It was Ringside Cafe's old school burger Ringside Cafe in Columbus, Ohio? Yeah, there it is. Let's go. You know, Columbus is where a lot of like fast food

places do test market stuff. Yeah, and then Wendy's is based there. And then Joliet is where they all start. Oh, yeah, that's like, so they're a way in there. That would be a cool place to go. Yeah. The OG, the first franchise McDonald's. The OG McDonald's is in California.

They have lightweights, which is like salads and then heavy weights, which is, Oh, they're named after like Boxers. There's the Buster Douglas and the traditional Jack Dempsey, whatever. They have one called Haymaker Halepinia.

Yeah. It has pepper jack cheese and jalapinos. It doesn't have any cream cheese, Nick, I'm sorry. That's all right. All right. Well, there you go. Cool spot. 135th in September.

You know what? You know what? I was thinking about it too on the Nick audio. We won't cut our audio. We just swap it. Right. So he's way down.

Oh, that's good. You're way loud and we're late. So we're late. So we're the background. You need to hear us in the background. Yeah, you get the real main character stuff. He can just flip the tracks. Yeah.

Yeah. Main character sauce monkey. Copy values. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's how that works. Well, you have Project 2. One more thing we should mention. Yeah. Tickets for our live show are going on sale soon.

Oh, okay. So at the time. This is coming out. Live show? This is coming out June 30. Nick, all dick's on deck. Yep. So we have, we have a live show.

in September. September 3rd. This is the most we've ever promoted something in the history of us doing the show. That's our first live show.

Right. Like by us. Yeah. Yeah. This is our first foray into setting this up on our own. Which by us

we mean Jordan. Yeah. Jordan's been doing a great job of running point on this stuff. Good job. Working with the Bell House

in Brooklyn, New York. That's right. That's right. We're taking a bite. Maybe Montoni will come. Maybe he will. He wants to be Gracie because it's a Gracie reunion. It's a Gracie reunion.

All right. Now that's got to sell tickets, right? Gracie and baby, Momboni? Yep. So it'll be, uh... We'll give him, we'll comp him a ticket. On July 1st, we will have a... I illegally voted for him.

I flew to New York. Smart. Um, smart. July 1st, on Patreon. Yeah. We will have a presale for Patreon members. If you're on Patreon, you're on Patreon, you'll have first crack at getting tickets. and then July the 3rd is when general admission

Yep, it's open for everyone. We're trying to have as much time for everyone to buy tickets because we know you're going to wait. But we figure if we incentivize, hey, get them early, get the best ones. There are two different levels of tickets. We have. There's general admission.

Right. And then very important bug. Yeah, VIB, I think. It's a premium bug. Premium bug. Yeah. Instead of VIP. I send in premium bug and then you came up with,

V-I-B. Yeah. It's like, well, we can do that next time. Parenthesy, V-I-B. Yeah. So you can become a,

you can become a very important bug, a premium bug, and that gets you- Those tickets are a little more expensive, but you get in early. You get in early. You get your first cracket seats, and then there's a meet-and-grit,

plus we're trying to get a poster going, so you can walk away with something. We'll take pictures and everything with you, but- pictures, we'll sign your poster. You can bring something. We'll sign that. Yeah.

So we want to make this worth it for you. said it so we have to have the post. Yeah, Bell House. I should have waited on that one. Bell House in Brooklyn. I'll bleep it. September the 3rd. Thanks. September the third, the VIP

doors, VIP doors, will be at 6.30, general admission doors will be at 7. And then the main show, it'll start at 7.15. At 9.15. We want to let you sweat for a couple hours. 7.30. Get a more. Really excited.

Our first live show that we are putting on that isn't part of Homebrew. The only other show we get invited and just show up and don't have to do anything. Or the Chicago show that we did was like, was through rooster teas. Yep. And so like, you know, we're figuring this stuff out. We try to reasonably price everything so that we can get as many people out as possible.

And we chose New York, one for Gracie. And two, because a lot of people live there. And I'll tell you this, right? For the premium bug tickets and the regular tickets, we can actually pay Gracie. Yes, that's important enough. We are actually going to make money. Not a lot, but we'll make money if you buy it. tickets and Gracie will actually get paid.

Usually we just give her the food, which she's fine with. But we can actually write Gracie a check. So we haven't picked the restaurant yet. We need a real like New York restaurant. So we haven't picked the restaurant yet. So let us know. Michael Scott's favorite. He's over there.

Yeah, I don't need them over here. So let us know in the comments. Yeah, I know. I still want to hear it. Let us know in the comments where you think that what that restaurant should be, what New York eats we should do. needs to be a chain, right? We want to do a chain in New York.

Yeah, yeah. Something we don't typically get. If it's got some New York flayer to it. Or if it's just an East Coast thing that we don't usually get. You know, I'm kind of pretty open to the sandwich at Walba. Yeah, there you go. And so a lot of different ideas or whatever, but that's going to be a lot of fun. Again, tickets on sale July 1st on Patreon for Patreon.

It was July 3rd for everyone else. And then September the 3rd, 7.30 p.m. The Bell House in Brooklyn, a live show. We're doing it. I can't believe it. I'm really, really, really excited. So yeah, stay tuned. We'll have more info as we get closer.

Nick's never been to New York, so this would be really exciting. No, just for like 12 hours. Okay, so you've been. I don't know if he had been or not. I just started stab. I just kind of went like, oh. Because I'm the one who has been. Oh, speaking of Stab, you shouldn't invite Big Ray.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. And Stap too. But it reminds me a big right. Well, yeah, we need someone to film it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Stap can come.

Yeah. And Ray can work. Stap can produce this thing. You can follow us at 100%. eat on Twitter, Instagram, and blue skies stay up to date on everything. And if you want to mail anything in for the 100% treat or anything else, P.O. Box, 3,0,0,000, Austin, 4, that's P.O. Box 14, 3241, Austin, Texas, 787114.

We hope to see you guys in New York in September. This is like the most we ever promoted something. It's been a really long time. I really hope to see you because it'll be like a huge loss. Yeah, it will be an exceptional loss for us if you don't come. Well, thank you, everyone. Rate subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where you eat food and rate the food.

did it off script. Okay, is anyone wondering? Yep. Bye. Nice. Bye. Bye.

That's the main character saying that too. That's right. To me? signing out for real. Keep going.