100% Eat - Pizza Hut Big Dipper & Mozzarella Popper Pizzas

Episode Date: March 31, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Pizza Hut Big Dipper & Mozzarella Popper Pizzas so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the Russian connection, where you were for McMillions, and more. Check out the recent Face Jam appearance on the AH 12-hour live stream at bit.ly/FJinAHStream. Sponsored by DoorDash. Download the DoorDash app and use code FACEJAM for $5 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, and you probably do. Thanks to DoorDash for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, extraordinary Jordan Sweet. Jordan, how are you? Fine. What are you giggling about? There was so much delivery, and so much- You always say I take too long. And a very efficient 20 seconds.

We got it. The second he started, I started. I hope you don't like to hear the music. So much of it was away from the microphone. Like you kept getting like further. Because it was getting louder. He's a professional. He knows how to do this.

Pull it up a little bit. See? Pull it up. He's not a professional. Well, Jordan pushed it towards me. I didn't want to touch it. I didn't do shit. You definitely did.

We all saw. You pushed it. You touched my microphone. You fiddled it. Hold on. Stop f to touch it. I didn't do shit. You definitely did. We all saw. You pushed it. You touched my microphone. You fiddled it. Hold on. Stop fiddling it. He said, a little closer. I'll come over there.

A little closer. I'll come over there. Eric's going to strike you. You'll come over here and then Eric will strike you? I'll lean in and say, hit him. You'll say it to him? Yeah. I want him to be looking at you,

but then when you slap him, his face will spin towards me. I'll already be waiting. And then what? I tracked the trajectory. Nailed that one. I got it. Then you cough on me. No, I was going to lick you.

Yeah, I saw that. I don't like it. No, I was going to lick you. I pushed it down. Yeah, I saw that. I don't like it. Sorry. Microphone's all up in my grill. Back off, dude. My nose is touching mine. Is that sanitary?

Yeah. Should I lower it? It's cleaning your dirty nose. Hey, Jordan, let me tell you what we're going to eat here. Nick said I did a great job. We're eating. Actually, we already ate. The Pizza Hut Big Dipper and Mozzarella Popper pizzas format.

Too slow. Two special pizzas in one special episode. Two special pizzas, huh? They're special. Everyone's special. Three in a way. In a way. In a way. In a way where one of them isn't even really pizza.

It's kind of like four things if you really break it down, which... Break it down, dog. It's four pizzas. How? You didn't break it down. It's four items because they put the mozzarella on the pizza. Yeah, but that's one item. But if you're dipping that mozzarella thing into the Marnar, then you got it.

Then it's pizza. That's a pizza. And then you got the cheese sticks that they gave us that you then dip and make into pizza. A lot of complicated stuff going on. A lot of moving parts. Yeah. A lot of moving parts. When you...

Sorry, I should have prefaced this with a Swedish science segment. When you open... And then you could have just shut off. We're just drilling into that now, huh? When you open the box... Yeah, next shirt. I started sweating. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, because there was just so many things and so many sauces, and I thought there was going to be a test. And then all of a sudden, uh-oh, I had no pants. I was in my underwear, and I woke up screaming. Turns out, I was still here. You looked at me and said, why did you take your pants off and start screaming? Well, I saw the pizza.

You opened the box. Did you take your lactate or no? No, I forgot. Oh, that's great. I took the, so we sat down. I looked at it and went, I'm going to eat all that pizza. And I looked at Jordan and I said, oh, I have my other car today. And he went, okay.

Oh. Because I keep my other car today. And he went, okay. Oh. Because I keep it in my car. And then you came in and I went, Eric, I brought my other car today. And you went, whatever. He kind of chuckled like, yeah. Exact same reaction. So a couple hours from now, I'm done. Yeah, because this was.

We need to wrap this up quick so we can get out of the blast zone. Mostly cheese. It was not a lot of sauce. A lot of cheese. Greasy, grippy cheese. Oh, yeah. Just cheese and then mozzarella filled with cheese. Well, it's mozzarella.

It's kind of always been my problem with Pizza Hut. It's just the fucking greasiest piece of shit. Damn. That they just sling it out there. Wow. Dripping in grease. Slinging? He's slinging.

They're working hard, dude. He's slinging za. They're working hard. Perfecting. Perfecting? The crosser. Yeah, theinging. They're working hard, dude. He's slinging Zah. They're working hard. Perfecting. Perfecting? Yeah, the crust. No, they should keep working. Yeah, they got a long way to go. They're working,

but are they working? So it was a... What the fuck? What? Did you see the symbols, too? No. No, I just saw the same thing. It says Sonic. It says Sonic. Well, well same thing. It says Sonic. It says Sonic. Well, well, well. It says Sonic Facts. This is what happens when you work from home.

Look what we have here. You didn't write Sonic Burger. No, it's just Sonic Facts. Dude, I wasn't even reading. I was just staring at the Big Dipper, and the word Sonic just started screaming towards me. I couldn't escape it. As soon as you made a noise

I looked down and I saw it right away and I just went, fuck. Whoa. I saw it and then it got highlighted on everyone's piece of paper. That's wild. Oh yeah. Sonic facts. Well pretend that's his pizza. Are these facts about the hedgehog? No. No, because see that's why it would say burger.

I'm so confused. I mean it should say pizza. Michael. Came at pizza. Michael. Came at me. Michael tried to take a drink of water, threw it all over the front of himself. I did. Take a picture. You guys. I thought I was further away than I was.

Do you need me to push the water closer to you, too? No, Jordan. It was obviously too close already. Oh, do you want him to move it farther away? Yeah. I'll help you. If the water was further away I would have caught it in my mouth. It's really cold.

Now my belly is cold. And it's not like it's going to dry off. It's just going to sit there the whole time. Oh, it's everywhere. Oh, no. You're sitting in it. I'm sitting in gum now. You're puddling. Anyway. What's filth?

Let's get back on track here. Yeah. Does anyone actually like Pizza Hut? I like their breadsticks. I think they have the best breadsticks because at this point, at least of the big three, which is like they deliver everywhere. Remember where you can get Papa John's, Domino's or a Pizza Hut. There was some discussion about what those big three were before we started

recording. I think it's a non-discussion. I agree. There's no other. And then I thought the question of like, what's good. There's many other chains that might be better. There are smaller chains that I would rank higher than Pizza Hut,

but those are like, but they're not bigger than Pizza Hut. Yeah. Those are the, those are the big three. For some reason. Um, they don't,

Papa John's and Domino's, they don't papa john's and domino's they don't do breadsticks anymore it's all bullshit like cheesy bread yeah or like a fucking loaf of bread filled with cheese sandwiches like i just want a goddamn breadstick and pizza hut's like the only one that still does it so i will sometimes regrettably order pizza hut pizza just because i really want the breadsticks that's it yeah. Yeah. Regrettably. Emphasis on that regrettably. I mean, I like Domino's the best. I also like Domino's. Did you guys have Pizza Hut a lot

growing up? I did. I used to... Pizza... Well, I mean, I also grew up in New Jersey so there was tons of real pizza everywhere. Like 50 pizza places that delivered. So we wouldn't get it very often. If anything, maybe this is weird, I would eat Pizza Hut more at the restaurant. Interesting. It was like a full restaurant like like a sit down really like a sonic you can go into like a buffet like a sonic but bigger nope um okay nope and like i just

remember doing that as a kid because they do like like basically what cc's is you know where you could just it's like pizza bar you know and i guess that was like cheaper i don't know my parents are assholes i don't know why they took me there but um it was always pizza and domino's wasn't as good and then the the year that domino's was like hey we got this new garlic shit yeah they were like shit that i never looked back domino's was like hey we realized we suck right so we're changing everything and then i was like okay i'll try it yeah this is amazing yeah they're crest rules yeah they don't need to keep working on that was like in the 2000s probably early yeah i think it was like 2005 and then i was like whoa dominoes is the shit now i think what happened is papa john's kind of came on the scene at that time he was like day of reckoning

yeah why did you do this arm thing he was very smug about it he was smug uh i think that was the time when papa john's came on and then domino's was like oh fuck our market share we have to change we can be second we can't be third 100 yeah definitely do you think pizza that's probably number one as far as like those three probably man i would think so yeah because they get they're like papa john's is three aren Aren't they part of the big conglomerate of KFC? Yeah, I think they're yum. You got those KFC Taco Bell Pizza Huts?

Talking about. Thinking about. Asking about. I've been doing that since. It's really annoying. It's really annoying. That's funny. I like annoying other people. Gets me off. I think that's why we get along so well

i spilled once it went this way next is all that way there's something about like eric doesn't in a very like kind of like he doesn't he's it's not malicious it is but it doesn't it doesn't come out as malicious i feel like you're very conniving and like you're like thank you you're like purposely pushing buttons and you're like oh i'm gonna get you every day of my life and eric eric is more like eric is more like i'm just doing a weird thing this is my this is my personality i feel like eric it's very similar he does it more subtly and then thinks to himself did i get you i do it and then stare at you and say did i get you yeah yeah eric eric kind of throws it out there and

watches what happens but it's like he gets the confirmation it's infectious you're like tell me but it's it's infectious to do like that thinking about getting the uh tacos like like throwing that stuff out there but then the thing that I also do that came from friends back home was sitting around with food and somebody has food that you want, that you want to try. And you just go,

like if Jordan had pizza, I go like, ooh, do people like pizza? And he goes, yeah. And I'm like, oh, am I people? Weird. You had weird friends there. And then it's, what?

That's awesome. Yeah, do you think I would like pizza? And then eventually, it's the most roundabout way to get them to ask, yeah, do you want a bite? Oh, okay, I guess. Well, if you insist. I'll try it. It's like, can't you just ask me for a fry or something? No.

Did that ever happen and they didn't understand what was happening yeah are you serious yeah it uh it was with it was with a friend back home derek he we were at we were at like a denny's we were at a denny's and we're doing that like oh do people like french fries and he went yeah and they're like, Oh, our French fries. Good. Yeah. Do you think I would like French fries? Yeah. I don't know. Am I people?

What the fuck are you talking about? You just got fucking pissed at you. So mad. And eventually he said, he go, can I have a French fry? I've, uh,

I've heard you tell this before. And, and uh when i was hanging out in san diego your old stomping grounds with one of your friends uh a person named garrett another real person eric derrick garrett well i will i i believe they're all real people it just sounds like eric added a d to his own name yeah no i'm my, Garrett. That isn't someone he made up. That's all. But I did that to Garrett, and he got flashbacks, like war flashbacks about it. How do you know about that?

Yeah, he was like, what the fuck is happening? Deja vu. Where am I? So you got to start asking people if you can have a bite of something by asking if people like it. Yeah. You'll get there. What I do is I say, me likey, and I clap my hands together. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. Me likey pizza. And then someone gives me pizza. That's an alpha Big Daddy move. Oh, yeah. Classic alpha. No sims here. Just alpha,

three alphas. You'd think three alphas wouldn't get along, but we do. Here we are. We all have our own little sections. Yeah, it's like a Venn diagram of alphaness. Uh-huh. We have our own little sections. Yeah, it's like a Venn diagram of alphaness.

Uh-huh. We have our own alpha channels. A little nerd joke for you. All right. Thank God I didn't get it. Somebody just might have moved down to beta. Oh, man. Sorry, Nick.

Oh, man. Anyway. What were we talking about? We went and got this trash. You're thinking about... Dude, the box is just absurd to look at. Is this the same box they had in the early 90s? I don't know.

This looks like what the Ninja Turtles ate out of. That's awesome. It's just... It's like somebody just stretched it out. It's just a really long rectangle. Yep. It's weird. The lady at the just stretched it out. It's just a really long rectangle. Yeah. It's weird. The lady at the pizza hut, the quarantine pizza hut, pulled it out of the oven with

the regular pizza box on top of it to just like, you know, for scale. And I was like, this thing's huge. We ordered this and it says Big Dipper on it. So I guess that's it. Yeah. And Nick got really excited that it was two feet of dippable pizza. Nick was, something was going on. He couldn't contain himself.

I don't know, I just heard the word sauce over and over again. She pulled the pizza out and was handing it to us, and then I was giving it to Jordan so I could finish the transaction, and I just heard him, I don't know if it was to anyone, he went, is the sauce already in there? Yeah. And that was it. He was thinking out loud.

There are sauce compartments for it. Yeah, there's little circles cut in. What kind of four sauces are we kicking with there? There's four sauces. One barbecue, one ranch, and two marinara. Right. There's three sauces. Well, because, yeah, there's four cups.

Yeah. Because there's no real sauce, which is marinara, on the sticks. So they're just like, oh, I guess we should give them two. Or you could just put it on the food. And that's it. No, they're not going to eat that. Could have come with that. They're not going to dip it otherwise.

You could have come with the sauce already and then two marinaras, or sorry, two buffaloes and two ranch. Or just two other sauces. That would be fun. How many sauces do you think they have in there, Jordan? They probably don't have two other sauces. That would be fun. How many sauces do you think they have in there, Jordan? They probably don't have any other ones. They've got two. They're counting marinara, okay, which is just fucking pizza. They pulled it

off the pizza just to get a third sauce. They're not Papa John's. They don't have any. They doubled it because they were like, I don't know what else. Four? Fuck you, four. We cut four holes in the box. What do you want me to do? Fuck them. Give them two marinara. I don't give a shit. Nick, I don't give a shit. Nick, I don't know if we want to get into this part yet, but Nick got anxious about the amount of sauce

that was given to us. Everyone got their own marinara cup, so it was more than enough. I still have almost all of mine. I have so much left. Nick's is empty almost. Nick left and went, ooh, and then came back and went here i got you these and they are the leftover sauces from papa john's when we ate the papadias yeah he had like handfuls

of them yeah and and we went why do you have so many went well for everyone yeah we all went no one wants that no one ever wants it and then then he backed out was like, okay, then they're for me. You can have these ones. Through the barbecue sauce. Did you eat those sauces? I'll be honest, like that that Papa John's butter sauce or garlic butter sauce is maybe the roughest sauce to look at. It doesn't look good.

It doesn't look like something you want to eat. Stop showing it to me. Yeah, it looks like something you want to eat. Stop showing it to me. Yeah, it looks like something you get scraped off of you. Yeah. Go to a doctor. And then they go, why are you taking out that little cup? And they go, don't worry about it. This is for Papa.

We're sending it to Poppy. That's code. So you don't know. They really mixed it up. I would never ask. If a doctor said we're sending this to Poppy, I would never have a follow-up question. If they said Papa, I'd go, Papa John? Yeah.

Right? But Poppy, that could be anyone. It could be anybody. Yeah. That's somebody's granddad. Right? I don't know. Why would he want it?

Gross. Weird. Sonic facts. Do you use Sonic facts? Yeah. Yeah. Seems like a good time for some Sonic facts. Okay.

Just edit Pizza Hut for all that. Sorry, I forgot we were talking about Pizza Hut. Nick doesn't want to do that. I was letting that confrontation die down. Confrontation. It was a silent confrontation, but the air was heavy. The name of Pizza Hut came into existence because the wife of one of the founders of Pizza Hut

thought the first building of Pizza Hut looked like a because the wife of one of the founders of Pizza Hut thought the first building of Pizza Hut looked like a hut. Good lord. That is so cute. So they built the building before they named it? Apparently. Weird. What was it called when they were building it? I don't know. Pizza chain?

Question Pizza. Also, thank god it had a shape. Why is it Pizza Hut, but their logo's a hat? What's that? That's a hut. That's the hut part. That's a hat. Oh, that's a hut. That's a hat. I don't know. I didn't name it. I know, you're not

this guy's wife. Maybe if we keep saying it's a hut, he'll cave. It's definitely a hat. I think it's a hut. What does a hut look like? Exactly. But that's just because you're going by Pizza Hut, right? Is that... Yeah. You made like a triangle. I think Pizza Hut may

have invented what a hut looks like. I feel like they have pushed the narrative on huts. Yeah. You know? I think... Have you ever seen a hut before like Pizza Hut was around? Not in my life. I've never walked by and went, there's a hut. Yeah. Pizza Hut just started chatting Not in my life. I've never walked by and went, there's a hut. Yeah. Pizza Hut started chatting shit.

Yeah. Calling shit huts. And now they got it. You know, it's like Coke with Santa. That's how you can hold an air. They just fucking invented him. Yeah, they invented Santa. Yeah. People are like, oh, thousands of years.

Bullshit. Yeah. Drink the soda. Glug, glug, glug. Santa loves it. Who's Santa? He loves it. Oh, are you diabetic?

Too bad. Suck it down. Happy holidays. Drink the soda. Glug, glug, glug. Santa loves it. Who's Santa? He loves it. Oh, are you diabetic? Too bad. Suck it down. Happy holidays. Drink the sugar-free. We got any kind of poison. We got it for you. Put it in your blood. Oh, what's that?

That's a hut. Shut the hell up. Damn, dude. Yeah, I think that's how it happened. I'm glad we can agree on things. Pizza Hut paid Russia $1 million to fly pizza to the International Space Station and make a commercial out of it in May of 2001. Do you think they thought that was going to be the thing to change the world in 2001?

I think that they went, we're on to something. What are you, what else happened? Only four short months later. September. The scandal with the Monopoly at McDonald's happened in September 2001. Holy shit, did it? McMillions? Yeah.

I think that's what Eric's talking about. And the world was changed forever. I remember seeing that in the news. And even though I wasn't there, I felt like I was there at the McMillions. And when people talk about it, I tell them my story about how I wasn't there also, but I felt like I was there at the McMillions. When people talk about it, I tell them my story about how I wasn't there also, but I felt like I was. They made that song that was like, where were you

when McMillions happened? I remember that. Where were you when McMillions happened? I used to be able to see a McDonald's from my house where I lived in New Jersey, but then after September, I could still see it. That's pretty crazy. Because it was there.

Did you guys hear about that guy from that show, The League, Steve Ranis Easy? And he was like, oh, I'm the winner of the McMillions thing, but then it turned out that he lied. He wasn't there. He lied about the whole fucking thing. What? I also heard that Seth McFarlane was going to go to a McDonald's the day before

the McMillions thing happened. And he would have's the day before the McMillian thing happened. And he would have been caught up in the raid. That's crazy. A friend of mine in high school, his dad worked at that McDonald's. But then he got, like, he switched jobs, like, right before that. That's crazy. Wow. So I remember, like, I remember being in high school And people were calling All the kids in the office

Like if any of your parents Work at McDonald's Come to the office And he went to the office Because he couldn't remember He didn't He's like a kid He's like

My dad used to work at McDonald's He's still working at McDonald's Turns out Didn't work at McDonald's anymore Let's get back He used to work at McDonald's. He's still working at McDonald's. Turns out he didn't work at McDonald's anymore. That's a good fact. That's a great fact. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Why is Rudy Giuliani always talking about Rudy Giuliani? Why is Rudy Giuliani always talking about Mark Jr.? I think it used to be he was Mayor McCheese, right? I think. He used to be a mayor. People don't know that. Oh, fuck. Oh, shit, dude.

Oh, my God. That was a good fact. Going for three? The Hoop is only about 11 Big Dpper pizzas from the three-point line. This was a fact provided by the Pizza Hut website. You skipped one. You skipped all the facts. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'll go back. But to further reiterate that, the reason that's a thing, a lot of March Madness promo on this box. Yeah, a lot of March Madness promos on the boxes for Pizza Hut, which were made probably last year. Probably not recently. No, I wouldn't think so. But they went,

we're not going to not fucking use them. Why? What happened to March Madness? People just don't like basketball anymore. Too many protesters rolling around. Well, they're jumping. Rolling around was football. Yeah, it's a court. Someone was screaming, play the game!

And they go, I'm just jumping. I'm just, it's just a game. And they just keep jumping up and down. It's really weird. Sorry, this one made more sense too because it ties in the Russia thing. But let me, I apologize. Let me go back in time, read this other fact.

The most successful Pizza Hut is located in Moscow where they do $11,500 in business every day. I'm starting to notice a pattern here with pizza in Russia, which I'm sure isn't anything to worry about because we're friends, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

Yeah. I personally like, you know, they're cool. Yeah, I like the little nesting dolls. Those are neat. Those are neat. It's just weird that Pizza Hut and Russia keep, like, coalescing. Well, also, do they have a lot of huts in Russia? They have the most successful one. Well, I don't mean Pizza Hut and Russia keep like coalescing. Well also they have a lot of huts in Russia. They have the most successful one. Well I don't mean

Pizza Hut. Oh you just mean huts in general. Right. Oh I thought you were just shortening Pizza Hut. No. Calling it the hut. Uh no I think they have like houses and apartments and condos and things. Regular buildings. Yeah. Interesting. I don't think they have huts. They're like a developed nation. To take to bring it back to

Pizza Hut being owned by the Yum Foods thing, KFC is also a division of that. Yes. And when we went to KFC for the chicken and waffles episode, there was a picture of Colonel Sanders at the Kremlin. Whoa. And that place was filled with propaganda. We might be blowing this wide open.

Yeah. I don't know. We're on the cusp of but it's something big who do you think which of us do you think will be killed before the next episode it's probably nick okay well he's the most expensive if he can't hit record i don't know what we're gonna do that's it right like yeah that that will silence us i'm not gonna edit it we'll sit here and talk the show will go on you just won't get it yeah yeah we'll keep doing it yeah it won't get it. Yeah. Yeah. We'll keep doing it. Yeah. It won't be for anyone. Yeah. We'll have a good time.

Last fact. Last fact. In 1997, Pizza Hut produced a commercial where pizza patrons argue about the state of their nation until an old woman tells everyone, quote, because of him, we have things like Pizza Hut. Then everyone raises their pizza slice and gives a standing ovation to their former leader uh mikhail gorbachev who is eating pizza hut with them oh no that's hammer and sickle hammer and sickle yeah there are a lot of hammer and sickles uh i have seen this commercial i've seen this

commercial it's it's fucked up again why the connection with Pizza Hut? Yeah, what is that? I don't remember. I knew something about that, and I've forgotten it all. Did it really? We had a whole bit planned. It's fine. I was wondering why the music started, and then it stopped. Damn it! There it is.

It was supposed to play when you said Mikhail Gorbachev. Who's eating Pizza Hut? Oh, no. And it's the Russian national anthem, thus tying in perfectly to Yum! Brand Foods. Wow, I can't believe you really botched that. Yeah, well, I didn't. I had it all set up.

Again, if one of us is going to die before the next episode, are you going to kill him? No. Yeah, because I was just assuming the Russians were going to kill him. Are you a Russian agent? Me and Gorbachev. I think I am, because the song is awakening something. Did it make you want to?

It made you stand up and salute. Yeah. Are you a sleeper? Are you activating? I'm awake now. Oh. Jordan's woke, everybody. You heard it.

As if you didn't know. That's what that means. Is that? Yeah. Everyone's saying get woke is just like, wake up, you sleeper. Yeah. Wake up, sleepy Joe. What is the Mikhail Gorbachev thing? is that yeah everyone's saying get woke is just like wake up you sleeper yeah wake up sleepy joe what is uh the mikhail gorbachev thing i don't get could you imagine if that out a little bit

more oh you could you could take you can take russian music all the way out uh i don't get how a nation could fall the way the ussr did and then like eight years later go like, hey, remember our last leader? Pizza Hut, baby. Could you imagine if that was like Reagan or Bush? It'd be awesome. The USSR won and then they're like, oh, Borscht. And it's Bush holding a spoon up or some shit.

That'd be fucking wild. He'd be eating like cream corn or something, right? He'd be like, I love it. Be dribbling out of his mouth. Do you think he would not be eating cream corn? You're giving me looks

like you disagree. It's not a very Russian thing. I mean... Yeah, what I'm saying is that the comparison work because Pizza Hut is an American thing. Imagine if it was the other way

where Russian values were applied. I don't know that we imposed American values on Russia because everything you're saying is Pizza Hut's very Russia. Imagine if it was the other way where Russian values were put. I don't know that we imposed American values on Russia because everything you're saying is Pizza Hut's very Russia. Right, but Pizza Hut is American values and they're going over to Russia and now they're becoming very Russia. I feel like you're mistaken and it's the reverse. Do you think it's a Russian

thing and now they have flooded us because everything's Russia, Russia, Russia, Russia. I don't think they went over there. Wow. I think they snuck in over here. Holy shit. Wake up, Pizza Hut. Wow.

Activated. That's what I'm saying. Now there's two woke people. That's what I'm saying. That's crazy. Pizza agents. That's crazy. You're a sucker over here.

You're sucking down Russian sauce. They vented the hut, and they started in Russia, and they're feeding us these false facts. It's fucking crazy. We're getting fed. Wow. Big. I'm stuffed. That's an inside joke.

You wouldn't get it unless you listen to the podcast. Then you'd get it. Eric wouldn't get it. Man. Also, I found out how to do hammer and sickle on keyboard. Did you see that? Yeah, that's what caught my eye. I saw it.

I just ignored it. Jordan was excited to see it. Yeah, he was excited. He thought it looked cool. I just saw, oh, no, and then three hammered sickles. Hey, Jordan, it's your favorite part. All right. We'll start with the Big Dipper.

Less is more? There is less on this pizza, by the way, but it's fine. part. All right. We'll start with the Big Dipper. Less is more? There is less on this pizza, by the way, but it's fine. Not when it comes to pizza. The Big Dipper serves up 24 pieces of cheesy goodness alongside four epic dipping sauces, two marinara, one ranch, and one honey barbecue, to be exact. Michael's gesturing because he said, is it honey barbecue?

You were saying it was really sweet, and then I said, it's probably honey. And you went, I bet it is. And now I'm like, well, you wrote this, though. Oh, no, I copied and pasted that from the website. Well, clearly you double checked. One ranch and one honey barbecue. Yeah, Sonic Facts.

A huge value for just $12.99. At nearly two feet, you're going to need a bigger table. Really? Jaws reference. The Big Dipper is available in cheese or pepperoni, or half cheese half pepperoni offering a lot of something for everyone there's a lot wrong with a lot of coffee something for everyone yeah also like how big's your your table usually oh i have a foot and a half table

let's spill it out oh it's nearly two feet well how big is it yeah don't subway me i'll sue your ass yeah we should get them it's not a foot long it's just we call it a foot long but like 10 inches the foot long is the name it's not the size the box fuck you is definitely two feet and then you open it up and like there's so much like empty space in it like a push the edge a third of it is like for the sauce you don't need all that space for just the sauce holders. And then there's gaps in between the pizzas and stuff. So it's like really nearly two feet. I don't like.

Can we get a tape measure? Yeah, we need to do the math on this. I don't like that. Well, we ate most of it. We can't. I don't like that it says four epic dipping sauces and then lists three regular dipping sauces. Holy shit. Our studio is falling apart. Our foam just fell off

the wall. Now they're going to hear us outside. My sound is going to fly everywhere now. Watch out, you might get hit. It's on my left side. But you're over there. Whoa. You're right, bud. Eric's a giggly boy today. Oh, boy. What were we talking about? The mozzarella pavlovi pizza.

You were in the middle of the thing. You were thinking about McMillions again. Four epic sauces. Where were you? But then they list two of them. Yeah, like why do they even say epic? That's like, what is it? 2012? You can't just add the word epic to anything.

That's what their coffee people are doing. This is an epic cup I'm drinking out of. The fuck does that mean? I think it was an epic fail, if you ask me. Damn, got him. Epic for the win. Like a four? Four is an A?

I said like an A. A is actually the letter in the word. I was thinking like, was it leap fail? Like leap fail. I'm going to just throw some letters and numbers in there. Wild. What? I don't know. You were drawing it out

with your finger like you were trying to figure it all out? Yeah. I really liked it. I was doing the math. Alright. I'm very excited for the description of the mozzarella popper pizza because I need to know their thinking behind this thing. And again, he did not take his lactate.

Go ahead. Mozzarella Popper Pizza. The Mozzarella Popper's pizza. Which one is it? Pizza Hut's cheesiest innovation to date includes 16 crispy mozzarella stuffed squares baked to perfection with a mix of garlic, onion, and Parmesan.

Oh. I don't know why you put hands. There's so many more commas. Onion, Parmesan, Italian seasonings, parsley, basil, oregano, onion and parmesan oh i don't know why you're going there's so many more commas parmesan italian seasonings parsley basil oregano and of course mozzarella cheese around the crust and comes with two sides of classic marinara sauce for dipping they're not epic giving cheese and pizza lovers the option to pop back and forth between their favorite app and their favorite Zod. Apostrophe Z-A.

I am pissed. Did Eric write this? I didn't. Can you believe that? I didn't pop at all. You didn't pop? Yeah, I wasn't popping back and forth. Maybe you ain't popping off.

I foolishly just ate it. We should have read it before we ate it. I didn't pop back and forth. I don't want to read the copy, but if you have a tip like that, that we're supposed to be popping back and forth. I thought it was pretty known to dip. Yeah, put it on the box. Pop in. And I'd go, what does that mean?

Maybe research it, start popping off. Or they could just write pop back and forth on the box. Pop back and forth. And then with no context, I'd say, what does that mean? Because I didn't know they were called mozzarella poppers. And also, in your world, we were going to do some research if it said pop in yeah like what does that mean and you're gonna like look it up well i was like go back to like the face jam control center and like yeah look

it up i assume that's where you get the information from yeah probably left a bunch on the floor dude data and research center no yeah uh crazy anyway aka eric's desk yeah crazy i've been at my desk left a bunch on the floor, dude. Data and Research Center? No, yeah. Crazy, anyway. AKA Eric's desk? Yeah. Must be crazy. I've been at my desk like at all this week. That's true.

That's why the facts are Sonic facts. Eric's couch at home. In between games of Borderlands 3. Some people are actually working really hard at home, so it's interesting.

Aren't at home. Pizza Hut was built on providing the best tasting and most innovative pizzas in the industry, says David Graves, Chief Brand Officer, Pizza Hut. What other company would he be with? The Big Dipper is no exception. It's a Pizza Hut classic reimagined to deliver an unbeatable taste that customers can only get

from Pizza Hut. I'd agree with that. I mean, yeah, I've never tasted anything that tastes like, yeah. Because if I went somewhere else and had pizza that tasted like that, I'd just go, what the fuck? What's wrong with this pizza? What the fuck? This isn't Pizza Hut. This tastes like fucking Pizza Hut.

What are you trying to do? I just, after doing, I don't know, what have we done? A thousand episodes of this show already? Yeah, give or take. Yeah, something like that. 2,000? Like, have we hit a single fucking thing yet where someone goes, this is the most innovative thing we've ever done,

and it'd actually be, like, something interesting? I imagine when we get- It's fucking pizza, and it's got cheese and sauce. Nothing is innovative. The fucking- Stop it's got cheese and sauce. Nothing is innovative. The fucking stop patting yourself on the back. Just say, fuck it. We need to make something. I said, how about more pizza?

Every goddamn copy talks to you like you're a fucking alien that hasn't eaten food before. And you don't know what the fuck food is. The Big Dipper isn't even pizza. It's breadsticks. It's breadsticks. Cheesy breadsticks. You have to do it yourself you have to dip it into the sauce to make it pizza it's what if we scrape the sauce off a pizza and then

fucking cut them in the bread sticks and put it in a bowl and said you do it that's it that's what it is but that's the the mozzarella poppers one too is like i'd rather eat a stuffed crust pizza than that wouldn't you like i'd rather have a stuff crust pizza than that mozzarella popper thing sitting on top that I have to take off and then eat with the crust or dunk. It's so weird looking, too. It's like, it's a pizza with, like, squares on it. Oh, it looks like a chicken nugget.

It looks like a chicken nugget. Describe it. It's literally a slice of pizza and then two little mozzarella squares on the crust. Why not put it in the crust? That's what I'm saying. It's a stuff crust pizza, but they took it out.

They should have made, like, the breading the crust. I don't know how they assembled it, but it's also- Get fucked, David Graves. It's not- You heard it, buddy. Sorry. He was listening with bated breath until this very moment. Kick rocks, Dave.

And then Jordan slammed him. It's literally like someone made the whole pizza and then went, I don't know, put these on top. Oh, absolutely. There's no reason to not immediately pull them off. And again, like, even if, say you have a pepperoni pizza, you pull a pepperoni off, there's a bunch of shit coming with it. You know, it's usually

baked in, so there's a bunch of cheese and salt. These go boop, and they come right off. Oh, and then the crust underneath it. They're not baked in in any way, shape, or form. The crust underneath it is like soggy and weird textured. Yeah. It's such a mess it it doesn't even look right you open up the box and you look at it go oh they fuck up what happened find a video at face jam pod probably right now by the time this goes up where it is just us looking at

it for the first time and michael and jordan are furious not even it pissed me off it's it's even less than the real reaction because you opened it and we just kind of were so irate. We started ranting about it and then finished and I went, oh, we should film this. Yeah, we should film that. So we tried to recapture the magic. I mean, it was a little less. It's still there, but just that was real. Fucking weird.

It's like. It's baffling. Could you imagine if you were to get this like, okay, I'm a dad and I just got done with like a long ass day. I'm going to bring home pizza for the kids and I'm going to get them this new fun pizza that they want or whatever because they're fucking stupid kids. Imagine going home and eating that. Like, I think a kid might like the mozzarella popper thing

because the mozzarella is like a different whatever. Because kids are dumb. Yeah, but like the big dipper thing is just like, it's cheese sticks. Why don't you get me pizza? Yeah, dad, I wanted pizza. Well, I went to Pizza Hut and this says it's a dippable pizza. I want pizza.

I like your pizza. Yeah. Next thing you know, like, you know, your mom's boyfriend starts getting you pizza. That's it. Because he's a really nice guy. Yeah. He gets me Papa John's. He doesn't go to Pizza Hut.

Do you think the kids call him second dad? No, they call him dad. They call me by my name. All right, John. Nice try with the pizza. Dad used to be Eric, but now dad is Derek. And mom's husband is Eric. Mom's boyfriend is dad. Yeah, that that's it they get his name wrong on

purpose it all makes sense and he lets him play animal crossing all he wants they can have their own towns and they can have their own towns you can play his animal crossing you have to play his game and you have to farm for him but don't talk to any of the villagers and you have to just cut down trees and catch fish that's it yeah you, you gotta pull the weeds and like clean up the town and stuff. You gotta do all the busy work. If the, if the villagers, that's good.

No, that's good. What happens if the villagers talk to you? You just have to look down and shake your head. You just pretend like you don't speak whatever language they're speaking. Don't even say like, I don't speak something in another language, because they might speak that language. Just shake your head and

look down, and they'll be like, I guess he's mute. I don't know. This new guy who moved into the village is fucking weird. Our mayor's fucking weird. Mayor McCheese? Oh my god. We have followed some interesting threads in this episode. I think we really cracked open a couple of mysteries.

Oh, absolutely. Oh, we're blowing the lid off of at least two big cases here. Boy. Did anything fun happen when we went to go get the pizza? No, not at all. Jordan tried to get lost. Yeah, I tried. Weird.

He had like a plan. I thought it would be, I thought it could be interesting. Like, you told me the address and not where it was, so I was like, oh, I'll just try to like figure out where that address is. And I knew where it was. Yeah, so we went right to it. Yeah, we went right to it. It didn't really

work. Also, I don't know. I thought we'd go past it. Jordan's definition of fun, where he said, you told me the address. I was trying to add content. But you didn't say where it was. If someone gives me an address and then keeps talking after that, I go, you already gave me the address. I'll put it in the computer. I don't need to

give a shit where it's by or what you pass. It's like, yeah, okay, here's the address. You know where the Sonic Burger is? You go two blocks past. I don't care. Sonic Burger, what's that? I don't care. Oh, you know about Sonic Burger 2? Yeah, you go in Sonic Burger. is you go two blocks past i don't care what's that i don't care oh you know about sonic burger too yeah you go in sonic burger it's you can go inside if you want to go inside the sonic burger thinking about driving past that guy and i said this on social media i definitely got a look uh-huh from a guy like there was head on in there was no guy there

was one there was a woman and a guy no a guy came out and he was giving other people food when we got there. You got to pay attention. You got to pay attention. The guy is the one who gave Nick his sauce when he asked for it. His ketchup. You're losing it. There was a guy. There was a guy.

You got to meet the guy up. Yeah, there was a guy. There was no inside, but there was a guy. There was inside. Where did he come from? When he handed Nick the ketchup, he was like, you know, you could have just come in and got these. He went, come back next time and come on inside.

Check it out. There have been, since that episode, there have been so many people that are like, well, there's an inside to my Sonic burger. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't mean to say burger. There's an inside to my Sonic. And it's like, right, there wasn't an inside to ours. You don't know that.

You don't know that. What is driving me fucking crazy is when people are going, there's actually, technically there are four ways to order. There are. For you can order on the app. Thank you. Shut the fuck up. Thank you.

Shut the fuck up. That was not one of the discussed ways. Yeah, it was. I thought it. I just didn't say it. I like. The guy also, when he was handing Nick the ketchup was like, you know, you could have just ordered these on the app, dude. Yeah. He's like, he went, there's actually five ways to get it. I just didn't say it. I like. The guy also, when he was handing Nick the ketchup, was like, you know, you could have just ordered these on the app, dude. Yeah, he's like, he went, there's actually five ways to get it.

What I like is not only does Eric having that conversation with a bunch of people, but then they were arguing with each other. Or someone would be like, you can't go into a Sonic. Eric's right. And then someone else would go, you definitely can. I did all the time. And someone's like, no, you didn't go into a Sonic. Eric's right. And then someone else would go, you definitely can. I did all the time. And someone's like, no, you didn't. And it's like,

very rarely did the reality set in where you're both right. Yeah. They would just go, no, you didn't. No, it's right. Yes, I did. Michael, it's one or the other.

You're either right or you're wrong. I mean, we were right. Yeah. You could definitely go inside Sonic. No, you can't go inside that Sonic. He kept saying that there is no inside. No, you can definitely go inside Sonic. No, you can't go inside that Sonic. He kept saying that there is no inside. No, that's crazy. Where do you make the burger?

The sewer over there. I crawl. You just make me crawl down. Well, I mean, after we ate it, it might have been from the sewer over there. It was pretty. My tummy's starting to hurt. Oh, yeah? All right, we should get through it.

I'm getting some warning symptoms. So how did you guys. Cheesy simps. I got cheesy simps. You got cheesy simps? Yeah. You got tummy full of cheesy simps? I guys... I got cheesy simps. You got cheesy simps? You got tummy full of cheesy simps? You're about to simp them all out and be the true alpha.

You can be howling like a chimp. You can be howling like a chimp. Screaming like a chimp. It's going to be screeching out of you. Oh, man. Would you say it blasts or like secretes? Oh, no. It like bubbles and squirts.

Hell yeah. Like. I'm trying to. I don't know how to. It's like liking it to anything. So is it like mud mouth, but it's not in your mouth? Imagine you have a garden hose, right? And the pressure isn't great.

You turn it on and it kind of dribbles out. But also imagine someone stuck it in the dirt and twisted it. So a bunch of dirt like bubbles out to get the water comes out with a bunch of like hose dirt. It's kind of like a sprinkler that doesn't really work. It's kind of like that. It kind of just dribbles. It's a sprinkler that doesn't work, but also gloopy. You know? Got it.

It's not just a drip. It's like... Like it hasn't been turned on in like a while. Yeah, there's gum in the pipes. You know? You need to stop eating all that gum. I love gum. You don't have to swallow it. You can just spit it out. I have to swallow it. It's food.

I have to swallow. It's food. So break down the two pizzas. Which one did you like better, Jordan? If you had to like... it's food. I have to swallow. It's food. Uh, so break down the two pizzas. What, which one did you like better, Jordan? If you had to like, Oh, I like one more than the other one.

I guess like the, I guess if I had to pick of the two, uh, I guess the big dipper, because if I didn't want like the pizza, I could have just made it a cheese stick, a breadstick or something. Like it had, it had some versatility at least.

It still just was Pizza Hut just in a different form. Yeah, it was. It tasted awful. The problem with the Popper pizza is that like I took a bite and was like, oh man, Pizza Hut sucks. You did. I kept eating it and then I got to the popper and I was like, I guess I'll try this. And it was just the worst combination.

If you eat it with the thing, like with the mozzarella popper on the pizza, you get like the soft, cheesy mozzarella texture and then the crust and then the rest of the pizza. And it's just, you talk about mud mouth. I'm always talking about mud mouth. Give me some mud mouth. You got mud mouth? Give me some mud mouth.

We can make that happen. Hand it over. Ask and ye shall receive. Hand over the mud mouth. Give it about another hour. I just went into my search, my message search, and just typed the word chimp,

and only one line came up. I screamed like a chimp last night. This is me talking to Eric about eating cheese a couple weeks ago. You have to stop eating so much cheese. I can't stop. Lindsay's going to stop eating so much cheese. Lindsay's gonna start getting mad at me. Lindsay's a friend of mine.

Yeah. She friends with Michael too? Yeah. It's a mutual friend. If you had to pick one of these two pizzas, which one would you pick? To eat? Yeah. Or to look and play with. I don't know. I'd look and play with the Big Dipper all day.

I play with my Little Dipper. I'm not ready for a Big Dipper yet. Sometimes it's just a piglet, am I right? Oh, man. I'd probably just go with the Popper pizza and then just throw it. Throw it away. Oh, so you just have the pizza? Then you've got those two tainted spots on the crust, though.

Tainted spots? They're tainted. I mean. You can't eat around those. It's not that. You're not wrong, but also it's not like it's gold around it. Yeah, right. No kidding.

It's all pretty tainted. Man, that really sums it up. You don't get to the tainted spot and say, oh, man. Oh, no. Oh, no. This is more tainted. No. The dream has ended. Oh has ended oh no reality has arrived

what happened to my good good pizza oh man pizza that sucks oh man 10 out of 100 this is a rare one where usually um i and jordan to an extent like to contain our initial reactions really just for me it's like from each other to not. I like to be surprised when you start talking about it. The thing is, on the photos and stuff, he always looks unhappy. Right. That's standard. That's not any indication of whether he likes the food or not.

But from the second he ate this, he was just talking about how fucking terrible it was. He hated it. Which is, it's a shame, because it's pizza. And not only is pizza generally good, but this guy loves pizza. Right. He's a big pizza fan. Yep.

Pizza's my favorite food. I think he was the most excited about this show to just eat various forms of pizza. But isn't that going to let you down if you are stoked to have pizza and then this is what you get? Well, that's if you're a fan of pizza with standards. Ah, I understand. Yeah.

There's also a fan of like, I don't give a shit what it tastes like. Pizza? I love it. You know, poo-poo pizza? Yum-yum. Eat the poo-poo. Pizza. Get mud mouth. Get mud mouth. That's how you get mud mouth. It wasn't great. No. The dips, dips again the best part was they're kind of basically like bread

sticks and the bread sticks aren't bad but i still think they were worse than just regular bread sticks i just like none of this and this was in the copy none of this was crispy right the whole thing with the mozzarella poppers was like too crispy they were soft as shit now maybe they just fucked it up underneath they were was like too crispy they were soft as shit yeah now maybe they just fucked it up underneath they were fucking like but it was just soft goo yep i'm a i'm a big cheese man i love cheese mozzarella to your detriment yes to my detriment you gotta fight for what you love and i do every day of my life the you know you want a mozzarella stick you want a crunchy you know toasted mozzarella stick and this was a crunchy, you know, toasted mozzarella stick.

And this was just a soft little turd, like a wet turd. Very disappointing. Couldn't agree more. You know, it's Pizza Hut. I'm getting upset. Hey, you're good, man. You got it. The problem is I ran out of water.

Now I'm getting dry mouth. The opposite of mud mouth. Sand mouth. Sand mouth. It's like I drank ran out of water. Now I'm getting dry mouth. The opposite of mud mouth. Sand mouth. It's like I drank a cup of sand. It's like a desert in there. It's like a damn desert. And the oasis was just a mirage. Much like this pizza.

Oh. Put that in the box except it says that it's bad. I'm gonna give it... This is a Michael score. So... You says that it's bad i'm gonna give it this is a michael score so you know it's no jordan but this is uh 25 wow 25 i can respect that because it was still pizza and i did eat a lot of it yeah and i'm thinking about eating more the scales there like 10 to 20 yeah that's if you've been listening you should know that that's a pretty low score for me.

Yeah. And that's an average score. That's a 17.5. I'm shocked. Is that lower than the fish sandwich? I think that might be the lowest. This is the biggest piece of meat we've eaten. See, I would eat the rest of this over the fish sandwich.

But that's how it works. But that's understandable. That's the disappointment factor. But the disappointment factor really plays a role. Exactly. Because I have low standards for the fish sandwich already. Because when in your life will you ever eat a fish sandwich like that again? I'll never eat a fish sandwich again.

Period. But you'll have pizza. For sure. Yeah. But you probably won't have fucking pizza. I'm not going to have pizza that bad again because now I know not to eat it. I'll tell you right now. For sure.

No question. Go ahead. Take it home. Not this one. I'm saying he said, you know, you probably won't have pizza again. I will. Let me stop you right there. All right. Take it home. Not this one. I'm saying he said, you know, you probably won't have pizza again. I will. Let me stop you right there. Alright, here we go. Let's do it. Time for snack attack. We're on to the snack attack.

Dear Space Jam, crossed out Face Jam. Haha. Boy, you guys had a lot of snack attack. I was trying to get you guys something you normally couldn't get your hands on and came up with these. Please enjoy these Japanese Kit Kat flavors. Apple pie, orange. Nick O. I added the O

so you know I'm not Nick O. Sociopath Schwartz. He's Nick O. Got it. Thank you, Nick O. P.S. Eric, your McDonald's story really struck with me, and I decided, fuck that kid Ryan. I have this raccoon Mario I think is the one you were talking about and I want

you to have it because fuck Ryan fuck yeah Eric seems to be holding it up that is absolutely the toy that I got still in the package when that kid got hit by a car this is absolutely the toy and I kept like in the street pressing it down and going yeah but look

oh it even popped in the package. That's awesome. Take a picky of that. I think one of us is going to get hit by a car now. No! All right. So we got the orange ones on deck and the other one's apple pie. I love the weird Kit Kats from Japan.

Yeah? Yeah, except the green tea one. That one sucks. Well, yeah. Thank God we're not eating the green tea one. Yeah. All right, well, green tea one. That one sucks. Well, yeah. Thank God we're not eating the green tea one. Yeah. All right, well, that's orange. I don't get any of the apple pie, but it's very orange. It's got a weird aftertaste.

So I think it said... Well, I think the apple pie is the other flavor, Jordan. Oh. Why is it purple? He thought it was both. What the fuck? He said, I'm getting the orange, not the apple pie. What a... And I was like, that's the second KitKat

You've made a nice smells guys are crazy. This thing's this guy's giggling over here. He's screaming about dual flavored KitKat Nick was getting very antsy at Pizza Hut. I told I'd tell him to calm down at one point Oh, I hate that sort of ran you hate it It's like sharp metallic. Oh, no cut you You hate it? It's like sharp, metallic. Oh, no. Cut you?

You got mouth cuts? I might have. You got metal mouth. Uh-oh. This is the Popeye's sandwich all over you. One mouth is fun, but metal mouth is no good. That's no fun. It's bad. Would you say we have to rate these together or individually?

I've got to rate them individually. Okay. So the apple pie one, what do you give it, Jordan? Ooh. It's like cinnamon at the end. Yeah. You really taste the cinnamon. Maybe that's what that sharpness is. Jordan? Ooh, it's like cinnamon at the end. Yeah. You really taste the cinnamon. Maybe that's what that sharpness is.

But the initial, it's not sharp at all. Stop saying sharp. 27. It's very soft. 27. Apple pie, I'm going to do 40. That's a 33.5. Okay.

And then orange. Orange I like. I don't like the aftertaste. It's like a little plastic you like manufactured or something. They're all manufactured. Very unnatural. Oh, really? I don't buy that this is natural orange flavor.

This is not a Kit Kat you'd find in the wild. You wouldn't pull this off a tree. I go to the Kit Kat bush. I start rummaging through the Kit Kat bush. They grow on trees, idiot. When you're playing your wife's boyfriend's Animal Crossing, are there not orange-flavored Kit Kat trees? No, we have pear-flavored Kit flavored kit kat trees and it's like what's

the point what did you what did you rate this this one i would give 70 wow that's good i'm not a fan of the orange flavor um but it is better than the apple pie one i think for sure i'm gonna give it a 55 dope it's a 62.5. What did the yellow one get? 30-something? Yeah. I think you guys are crazy. The orange ones taste like orange cough syrup. You like the apple pie? Yeah. Tastes like orange cough syrup. Thank God. You don't get a say. No, I don't. Tastes like orange cough syrup.

Why don't you just play with me, little raccoon Mario? Why don't you go tickle your little dipper? I can't wait to lay in the street and make everyone watch me play with this. Do it right now. We can film that. It's all wet outside. Uh-oh. Even better.

You'll get wet. Hey, guys. You can't cure that. Hey, guys. Do you want to send us snacks to review? No, I don't. Oh, you're talking to the audience. You can send them to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas,

78723. If you missed Snack Attack Live, we talked about this before. It is on the Rooster Teeth app or roosterteeth.com. It is free for everyone. Yeah, root around until you find Snack Attack. Yeah, if you just go to the top, there's like a little search button, like a little magnifying glass, you know, classic search icon. And then you just search Snack Attack or Face Jam.

It'll be there. Because you can listen to the episode. I'll say this too. Listen to the show on the site. What's not going to be easy to find at all in any way and certainly won't be worth it. But also out now, there's this online, very funny comedy gaming group called Achievement Hunter. And they did a 12-hour live stream. Oh, that's right.

And we, fortunately, thank God, the heroes that they were, and are to this this day invited us to do a little face jam segment that's in there somewhere it was we did it at it was around hour 6 yeah we did it at 1 o'clock 1.30

we did it at 1.30 started at 10 so it was like 3 between 3 and 4 hours we'll have a link in the description that's a good point

but it'll be a pain in the dick to find what is he writing over there link in the description I the episode. That's a good point, but it'll be a pain in the dick to find. What is he writing over there? Link in the description. I punched my glass door. Thank God it was empty. Don't need to get angry. I'm fucking livid.

What is he writing over there? Now listen. Pictures and whatnot at Fish Jam Pod. Yeah, but here's the thing. Here's the very important thing. Yep. What is today? It's the 31st.

31st. Do you know what that means? It means it's the day that the shirt is supposed to come out, but did it? Uh-huh. It is. Absolutely. Without a doubt, 100%, it's out. You don't know that.

Honestly, there's no way it can't be out. Yeah. There's a way. No, I don't think so. I think it's definitely out. Let's all hope. Okay. Yeah.

Let's just hope it's out. Uh-huh. It's out. I'm probably listening to this part right now. Forget about. Yep. Forget about. Forgetting about.

Forget about. Don't Forget about. Forgetting about. Forget about. Don't think about. September 2011. The moment in history. Yeah. Don't worry about it. Yeah. The 10 year anniversary of the McDonald's monopoly scandal.

Right. 10 years is a big deal. Yeah. Forget about that. Never forget. March 2020. But forget it. March 2020. But forget it. March 2020.

Were you remembering September 2011? Why? You fucked up. March 2020. Everyone's going to remember where they were. I don't remember. I don't remember where I was September 2011. Why do you?

I'm going to remember where I was on March 31st, 2020. Oh, my God. When I got my face jam shirt. We'll just be standing proud wind on our backs. There will be a link in the description of this episode. If you go to the description links in the description. You can go buy the shirt right now. Buy it fast. Buy it fast.

Buy it fast because I don't know how long I don't know how many they ordered and I don't know how long it's going to be up. But here's one thing we all know. It's definitely out. Follow us on Twitter. What are you laughing at? At FaceJamPod. I had a big inhale. He's working. I didn't know what was going to

happen. It's out. He was thinking about September 2011. No, I don't think about that anymore. Where were you? He remembers now. I was here. March 31st. That's where I was. I was here. March 31st. That's where I was. I was here. Really?

Yeah. Where was I? That was, that, oh my God. That almost had to be right around when we met. I think so. That might have been when you came to LA. I had a burger with the egg on it. Yeah.

And some guy named Jack was mad. Because we were at a restaurant called The Waffle. And I didn't get a waffle. Oh, I've heard this story a lot. And I went out of my way to not get a waffle. Boy, I've heard this story a lot. This is what I talk about with your maliciousness being so overt. Oh, yeah? You want a waffle? And then you just kept going,

oh, this burger's so good. And then Jack would just be like, oh, I can't believe it. Yeah, that might have been the first time we met. It was 2011 for sure. That's when the show I worked on started airing on Rooster Teeth's YouTube. Took you 10 years to get this off the ground? No, it was another one.

I don't want to say the name because I don't want to self-promote. Nobody's probably ever heard of it anyway. So follow us at Face Jam Pod. Take his toy out. No, I'm just playing with it inside the bag. Why are you not a collector's item? Take it out of the bag. You can eat the food and look at the food and be like you're there. Whoa!

He jumped so high. Super cool. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and then rate the food. We're blowing up. I'm just saying. We're blowing up. Face Jam Challenge. The Face Jam Challenge is still going. Our social team is killing it. Stephen the intern. Stephen kind of fucked up

with the Sonic. That video. I mean he fucked up the video. He didn't fuck up the... It got a conversation going. It got a conversation going, which is, hey, please talk to the talent and the stars of the show. You took it out of the bag, and it goes way higher now. Is that awesome? Yep.

How old is this? Training weight. I mean, when did Mario 3 come out? Well, when did Ryan get hit by the car? 1990. That's the real question. 1990. Was it September? Where were you? Put a boot in your ass. It's the American, it's the face jam way. I was minus one month old in September.

Minus one month. 1990. So you don't remember where you were in September 2011, but you remember your birthday. That's weird. See, I'm sorry. That's a good catch. Are you done now? Yep, see you next time.

Bye.