100% Eat - Sauce Monkey Looksmaxxing %% Carl's Jr Chickenmaxx Sandwich

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

Our Heroes will hear no more of Nick's gas station food wants. We're bone smashers now, looking hotter than ever and eating a chicken sandwich that kind of tastes like cafeteria food. Time to film our own commercial for this place. Pigs together strong. Overcome the man in the mansion! 100% Eat LIVE! at Bell House in Brooklyn on September 3. Tickets on sale: https://bit.ly/100percenteatliveGrab some merch at https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now streaming on Disney Plus, the Hulu original series Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black, played by Emmy Rossum, on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice, and as their lives start to intertwine, the line between right and wrong begins to blur. New episodes week over week. Watch the Hulu original series Furious, now streaming only on Hulu on Disney Plus. I'm ready. Here! Welcome to 100% Eat the show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do.

I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan smears, Jordan, how are you? I still my joke. Oh, sorry. Although it worked out, I think, because I feel like we don't get to hear the theme song that much. Yeah, we don't. We don't usually. That was nice that Nick don't, yeah, it was all part of Nick's plan. Oh, if you guys wore headphones, you'd hear it.

Well, we don't. Why would we wear headphones? Oh. So you can keep track of where you are? Are you playing it over? I'm on my here. Are you playing it over the headphones? Oh, I can.

Anyway. We're so close to 45. Said, here we go. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, he didn't have the song ready, and so it's just kind of like, he'll live on the movie. Oh, no, it was ready. Yeah, I think he just missed it or something.

I don't know. I'm right. You guys feel, I'm hoping. I'm hoping for that every week. Every week when he says, here we go. I'm hoping that he's fucking this thing up. I don't really hope because it usually happens. I don't have to hope.

It's pretty good. It's pretty exciting. 6040. That's huge. That's awful. 70. That's huge. 80. 20.

80. I'd say you're about 95% accurate. Usually. Okay. No way. I don't know why he went down to 60. He's not 95. That's just lying.

I think in the grand scheme of things, he's probably just it. Yeah, I'm straight. Only a handful. But in the grand. But in his head, he's 6040. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's up.

It is head he's 64. But we're talking grand scheme of the last eight weeks. Probably close to that 6040. No. That's what the Xanax is for. No, they were your numbers. You said 6040. Yeah.

No! Anyway. Hey, today we're supposed to be reviewing Carl, Carl's Jr. Chicken Mac sandwich, but really it's chicken wing day. Yeah, it is chicken wing day. That's what I really care about. We're gonna get this crap over with. So we can do 100,

percent heat stream. Yep. We got 60 wings coming. God, we had six. We got 12 sauces. 60 dry wings is such a weird feeling to order from a chicken. Are you sure? Yeah, right.

You have to scroll and scroll and scroll. Through so many sauces. My only fear was they might accidentally sauce them. Oh, yeah. This can't be right. Yeah. They don't want 60 dry. They like cancel your orders.

Like, you want to try that again? I just, I don't think they canceled. I just think we might have to wash them off. Yeah, we got to rinse them. We'll put it in the tub. We'll rinse them real quick. Ooh. Okay.

We can rinse them with one of us. We, we and Jordan. Sauce has to go somewhere. Yep. Dry wings crazy, but we're going to be

tossing them in like a lot of wings. If you're watching this on Tuesday, you can go back to Saturday where we put up the stream. We did it live for our Discord and it went so well. Are you sure about that?

Probably started on time and not muted. Yep. Audio concerns? You're fucking not. Nick is concerned about the audio and we do a Discord live thing

because everything's working and then we get into it Yeah well that's how they get it And and Discord does this fun thing where it's like I'm working great And every single time it happens When he fixes it

Eric's like what was it And it's like nothing There's no answer Oh no yeah you just turn it off It's absolutely no explanation Happened to me the other day What did you do to fix it? Nothing.

Yep. When did it did Discord All my settings were different Nothing had changed This was at home And then, and then, bro, they went into OBS and an overlay. Every fucking two days, it turns on game overlay again. You turn the game on you realize it's got like the Discord names and it's like, stop turning on.

You're like you hit the wrong button and it's like streamer mode activated. Yeah. Oh, they also then like somewhat recently they moved streamer mode like because they completely change like the tabs and now it's like it's like a tab deep to get to it. Yeah. Just like, do you know how to turn off quests? No, you have to go to them and say, Hide right now or some shit.

Right. I have to do that pretty much every day. It's fucking crazy. I mean, have you considered doing the quest? It's just never something I'm interested in. Right, but then it'd go away. I'm not opening Discord because I have something else to come on. You got some quest. You're not doing your Dailies?

Your Discord Daily? You're jumping in, you got to do your Discord Daily's. Yeah, my Discord Daily's is going to the Heathcliff channel on our Discord and with the new Heathcliff attire. Oh, yeah. You want to show it off? Yeah, hold on. I brought back the ham helmet.

The first public time. Yep. Yeah, we were gifted these on the Michael Jordan podcast from a cuck couple. Last week. Fucking awesome. My, my,

my, my, my ken's behind me. Awesome. Incredible. With the fucking one wheel. It's gonna see where I could put it. My monkey Barbie.

We have so much freaking stuff. You got monkey Barbie here. We do. And I hate it. I love it. Yeah, don't put that near my. The head is.

Just don't put that near the Michael can. I don't like that as a set. Look their friends. Dude, look at the foot. Oh, that's, I didn't even notice that. The feet? Yeah. That's the first thing he noticed.

He went awuga. Is this called Barbie's furry adventure or something? I don't know, Nick, what are you calling it? Nick's Delight? No. That's his Discord daily. No. In fact, I am not.

So I got some piss here. I'm just going to be drinking this piss. Thank you. You're getting, with the piss? Yeah. A little fermented piss. It's mented. Yep. So I feel like a pirate. Yeah. Yo-ho.

This is from Javier the media. I feel like Jack Sparrow. Someone throw poop in my bed. Yep. Why is the rum gone? Why is the meat-go? Why is the poop here? The rum's gone and the poop is in my bed. Fires the Caribbean's crazy.

Crazy. Why are they calling this chicken mat? with two acts. We'll learn about it in the, we'll learn about it in the fact section. Be sexual. Whoa. They're not leaning into like looks maxing chicken maxing.

We'll learn about it in the fact section. Yeah. Is this endorsed by that looks maxer who just drowned? I don't think he's endorsing in a sauce. Was it a publicity stuff? Is publicity stuff for Carl's Jr. The nearly bankrupt restaurant, they hired a look max guy to go drown in the sea.

We've been in this. Charles Jr. a couple of times. This is the first time I noticed they have a plaque to the founders. Yeah. Over by the bathroom. This is the only Carl's Jr. in Austin. It's not even in Austin, is it? No, it's, yeah, it's not even in Austin. It's, this is how far we have. It's slanted. Which, like, slanted. Yeah. You got to take 183, which is also slanted. Which, there are restaurants that are closer, especially on 45, if you wanted to go to them. Yeah. Like maybe if restaurants, huh? Yeah. Is that the upward of word?

Is that what? Is that a kitchen? What has a kitchen? Casey's? Your house has a kitchen. Is it a restaurant? It can be. Right. So the answer is no.

For an episode. Quick Trip had a kitchen, not a restaurant. Uh-huh. Right. Keep going. Anything but Carl's Jr. today. I'm for it. So Nick wanted to,

Nick is trying to make us go back to gas stations to eat gas station. It's a cheeseburger pizza. Which we historically hate and don't like. Yeah, but that was gross. Which I think we've done twice on this show. I think we know two different hamburger pizzas. And we keep talking about how shit is and we should never do it again. I just don't know.

And that's from pizza restaurants. I think we're going to learn our lesson. We've learned. Pizza. Not about the pizza, but about letting this guy pick stuff. Oh, I feel like now.

Listen, my friend Jared from cheap ass gamer, he hates Nick picks. Yeah. He gets mad every time. No, I don't think so. Cheap games my ass.

Now they're not cheap. Cheap my ass gamer. Yeah, now they're just regular price. More like chat my ass. 20, Jared. That's what we call. Super expensive.

Expensive Jared. Yeah. He cannot stand a nickpick. Because Jared wants to know like what the, listen, if there's a guy who cares about the review, it's Jared. He likes the show, but the review.

It's an unfortunate podcast to care about fast food. Yeah. Stop caring about the review. But you won't find solace here. Right. He doesn't care what the review is on QuickTrip Pizza. he's not going to eat that. So Nick is going,

what about cheeseburger pizza from Casey's? Yeah, they're everywhere. And Casey's is, I've never been ever heard of it. How many did we pass on the way? I've never heard of them. There's only one here. They're everywhere. They're expanding.

It like, without fail. I'm staying out of this. I'm figuring myself. Why? I'm missing. 18 to 64, Michael. Michael's staying out of it because Michael's had enough.

Michael in the slack was like, I'm cutting this off. Nick can't keep doing. It was when Nick proclaimed we're entering our gas station era. Yeah. Yeah, you don't get to make that call. Right. Yeah, I was like, no, no, we're not.

Well, let's do Shishito summer instead. Okay. I don't know what that is, but I'm more inclined to say yes. Taco deli. Yeah. I'm more inclined to say yes. Taco deli. Okay.

What do you think, me? Better than Casey's. But you don't know that. You don't know that, but it's a good. That's a good guess. Yeah, I'm just making a guess, you know. Nick agreeing with you. Yeah.

That's a very good guess. You don't know. And I'm just not even going to say anything. What I just say. Right. You do have to know. Just let Nick. We have to know.

They're everywhere. There's only one. But they're expanding. Well, they're everywhere north of here. It's a north thing. Have you eaten in a case? Not yet. Waiting for us.

Specifically, north. You're waiting for us. North of us right now. You could do reconnaissance. Okay. Yeah, go for it. Use the card. Use the company card.

You just do a film of video. Do another vlog. Do another vlog. Do another vlog. Yeah. That's, that's, See, that's what, I think we need to be encouraging that more. That's what it should be.

Then he'll bring it up to us. And then it can be a second. Nick's pick. So it can be a video we put up. Nick, if there's a food you want that we're not on board with, just go get it yourself. Okay. It's not even unnecessarily I'm not on board.

But you have to do it in your car. Right. It's like, I'm not choosing this repeatedly over, like, actual fast food places for the main show. Right. This is, that's a nick pick when like we're scroungeing. And there's like nothing. Sure, I'll go to the gas station.

When it's competing against like, Even as shitty as it is, Carl's Jr. is a real restaurant. Yeah. It's thinking about it. We could be an opinion. We could be on a gas station. It has kitchens.

But it barely exists. Well, there's apparently as many as Casey's here. Yeah. Right where we are! How would them being anywhere else help us? We need to get Gracie back here to like rain you in. What do you mean? It's too much.

It's like I'm going to start playing with stuff. Unintentionally rains him in. She doesn't. She does. She just, like, she just, she distracts him and encourages him

and then he engages and it's a whole different thing. There's a button on the side. Just start slamming it. Just slam ass. Yeah, right there. Mute. You see, unlike Gracie,

you gave him too much heads up. Yeah. Yeah, you got to do it. It has to be natural. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. It's just flows. Yeah.

Yeah. Thank you, Javier, the Mead guy, for the pineapple mead, which is almost gone. You want the chocolate one next? No. No.

No, I'm chocolate. I don't know chocolate meat. Dude, it got... Look out for a video sometime in the future. It got like... It got like smoother since we've opened it. Oh, it's just aging even more. Yeah, it probably like let out some of that.

You let it to keep. Yeah, you heard it. Yep. And so... Not like the, not like the tea. Not like the sweet tea. Yeah, what happened with that sweet tea? You guys opened a sweet tea and it was like disgusting

and you were going to take a drink, but then you went, this is too gross. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it just, like, turned. It's like, I didn't know sweet tea could become, like, rancid there was. Well, because, like, the bottle was like, right. It was bulging.

Mm-hmm. And I was like, that's not a good sign. And I just did the littlest sip. And it was like, oh, yeah. That's enough. Mm-hmm. Saved it for you. Yep.

What? We put it out back. It's sunny. Oh, good. Oh, that, I think the, I think the zucchini's almost ready. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's back.

Wonderful. Some against all odds it grew back. It's back and it's over the fence, which makes it ours. It's ours. Stop creeping over here. They don't know it's there. We've got to get it before it turns orange. Okay. We learned the hard way.

Maybe we'll check in on the Mongolsville. Although it was already orange when we got here. We can check in on it, but I'm not eating it before wings. No, no, no. We just have to look at it because it might be ready next week. I don't have to do it today. I don't want to mess up your appetite. And we know it's not from Taylor Farm, so we know we're saying.

But it could be. No, Taylor Farm is okay. Telepharms was actually looking to buy that. That one's... So, it might be a problem. They're scrambling. Carl's Jr. opinions in general. Is that a place you guys go to?

It sucks. Carl's Jr. sucks. Yeah, I'm starting to think it might have always sucked. When I was a kid and I was just eating the little star chicken nuggets, I thought it was pretty good. Yeah.

But I don't think I knew the truth. Yeah, they're like cafeteria. It's bad. It's like cafeteria food. Yeah. It's definitely... Good for children. It is.

It's mush food. Yeah. It's definitely. on the lower end of like the fast food burger like hearties though oh my god just as bad i've never i don't know how they do it i've never been to one but boy are they like falling apart their franchises are like going out of business like crazy like bankruptcy left right and center for carls junior and that's every direction yeah that's all it's all north that's where the katesies are well the one fuck uh they're expanding into former carls juniors location

Like Taco Palenque and Fizzolis. Yeah. Yeah, which is actually like actual good news. That's a good pickup. Yeah. I will gladly trade every Fizzolis for a Taco Poli. Boston Market turned into Taco Palanke. Yeah.

Pretty good. That's a fair trade as well. Carl's Jr. Carl Jr. was a place that I would go to when I worked at Target when I was 16 to get a Western Bacon Cheeseburger for like $3. Is that a strategic thing they did? Because like Carl's Jr., where I could. grew up was also next to the Target. Yeah. Oh, smart.

Smart. Did they just do that? Probably. They said, well, these workers have to eat somewhere and was for making $3. It was next to the Target, Greatland. Yeah. Do you have a cafeteria at Target? Oh, there was a food court thing, but I worked the food court, so I didn't want to eat there. I see. Yeah. I don't trust. I don't trust. I don't trust me. So you worked at Pizza Hut. No, no, no, no. I covered breaks at the food court. That was it. Like the news? Which just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you had to get a pretzel out of the pretzel stand and just a popcorn, and then somebody would come up with an icy and be like, how much is this?

Scoop an ice cream and you just go like, yeah, the fucking rock hard ice cream. Yeah. Like you're going to eat this at Target? They are. Oh, Target ice cream. The Target popcorn was good. Made everything smell like popcorn. It's true.

But then they got rid of it. And now they just have a solo kiosk with like, it's all like, hard boiled eggs and energy drinks. That's yummy. Yeah. A good combo. Yep. But, but could have been popcorn. Bring it back.

Or don't. I don't really care. I don't really go to Target. We're not reviewing Target. No. Not yet. Can we, Nick? Me what?

It we want. Target's next. Targets in our cross airs. Bullseye. We can do, um, we can do IKEA. Ooh. Actually, IKEA would be fun. But Nick, that's so far north.

It's not that far north. Not by comparison to where we were. He was saying how like Georgetown needed a Costco to keep them away from Flookerville. Yeah. Nick doesn't want mixing from different cities. That's funny.

I felt redneck out there. Is Georgetown redneck? Not as much as we are. I would say at this point not. Yeah. Because I was not on that impression. There's like I've been up there a couple times. That's nice.

Yeah. They got that. Hutto is. Okay. All right. Hado's on the shit list. But, I'm not saying it isn't, I'm just saying

but that's a different place, yeah. Sure. So why it's St. Georgetown, if you meant, hold out. All of it. Leander, Liberty Hill, take your pick. Take your pick for what? Redneck.

Just saying, redneck to me doesn't coincide with like expensive homes. Georgetown is like really expensive trailers. Now. Expensive trailer. Now is when we are. Just like here is where we are.

When they got them, they weren't expensive. Where are all the Casey's? 45. That's one. Well, that's the only one there is. Here. Yeah.

That's where we are. We're talking about where we are when we are. We're talking about where we are and here. Right, now and here. As pertains to this show. Well, let's go. Michael, save us. Let's go to the facts.

He's going to team me up. I don't just start reading. I just go, you're allowed. Kind of like watching Nick kind of. Exactly. Usually he'll be like trying to look at Mighty Fine. You're trying to look up Mighty Fine? Yeah, limited time stuff.

Hey, Mighty Fine. That's a place. I'm in the middle of an episode. I'll go to Mighty Fine. That's fine. He can look it up. He doesn't, he's not doing anything. I don't read the fact.

He's got free fucking time. He's got free fucking time. He's got free fucking time. What the fuck do you need from him? You're saying that now, but he's going to look up Mighty Fine and be like, ooh, there's a gas station. Good. And that's going to be background noise.

Good. It's going to kill time. The longer we stretch out, the facts, the less show there is when I'm done. You're welcome. Thank you. I'm appreciative of it. You guys don't learn about Carlson.

No, shut up. You have something to say. Danger dog. Okay. All right. Eat or beware. Is it Southern Cat? Is it like L.A. inspired hot dog?

It's a bacon rat fried hot dog. Pickled jalapinos, onion yellow. House. They are, danger dogs is what you'd call them walking out of like Lakers games and stuff because they were, it's kind of derogatory. Because he would buy them.

It's the street food off a cart. And then there's the orange sherbet. I don't care. Go ahead. You want to learn about Carl's Jr.? No, I want to hear what he had to say. We should go. Anyway,

back to the cell. About a sherbert or something? A sherbet. Sherbert shake. Sherbert. Okay. You bet. Surebet.

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Choose Activia. Feel good from the inside out. Visitactivia.ca for more details. Our last Carl's Jr. episode was August 12, 2025, where we ate the Carl's Jr. Caso Crunch Burger. You didn't have it rating at 24. You guys remember that? Alex Earls Casso Crunch Burger.

That was the last time when I feel like we went there. And it wasn't like crunchy at all. I remember. It was like soggy from what I recall. Yeah, I try to really space out the Carl's Jr.

once because I don't want to drive that far. Again, see it's funny you say that. It's a half hour drive. I see August 2025 and I think that was still too soon. Yeah.

And we're back already. It was a half hour drive. It hasn't been a full calendar year. I know. Which isn't like it's not far far. But when you're doing the show, that's an hour. Did you see 45?

25 to 30. And like. All 45? It's an hour that you're just tacking on for driving. And it's like. Especially a day like today where we have more stuff to do. A lot more stuff to do. Better stuff. I agree. Way better.

But it's, you know. But maybe it's not worth it for the Caso Crunchburger, but maybe it's worth it for the chicken mac sandwich. It wasn't. Oh, yeah. BurgerGonlet.com is still up and running. Pardon our dust. It's still under construction. It's got to be almost there. It's got to be close.

I guess about a year ago, we very quickly bought the domain. Burger Gauntlet. Doggall. Yeah, Struggle down is hot. Yeah. And then and it's cool. It's cool. It could get hot again. But we could get it hot right now. The hype is building.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So burgergontlet.com for all your burger gauntlet needs. Yeah. What is it? We don't know. Yeah. We just know that it used to belong to a different guy.

And now it belongs to us. And now it belongs to us. And it's pictures, it's a picture of YouTube with hard hats, photoshopped on you. And it just has partnered us. And then it's like more information. It's like a link to the Patreon. So it's smart.

What more do you need? Nothing. That's everything you need to know about. to people in your office. BurgerGontlet.com. See what they think. Send it around. Do like an office chain. Yeah.

Get them going. Get the hype built. Okay. Let's learn. The chicken max sandwich is a send-up to looks maxing. I knew it. Which is something the sauce monkey does because he's so handsome. He does bone smashing and mogs you and he's going to explain to you all what that means right now.

Go ahead. I smash bones? Yeah, you do bone smashing? Oh. And I mugs. He is He mogues. He mogues. He does mog. Is look maxing like

Like side eye to camera or what? What is it? Not exactly. Oh. Wait. What? I like his explanation. It's like douchebagging.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like Uh-huh. I guess what it really is is just like the people who are evangelizing it are like you can max

maximize how good you look by taking peptides and smashing your bones, your cheekbones with a hammer. You get a little hammer and you smash your cheekbones so that way they get bigger. Yeah. Because that's how bones work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bones get bigger when you smash them with a hammer. And people do that?

Yeah. At least two people that I know of doing it. They look max and they mock you. You get fucking mugged. And they work for Taylor Farms? No. Some of them die in the ocean. But none of them work for Taylor Farms. We sent the head Then we send the headline

To the group chat Yeah He wasn't paying attention What does it Mogg stands for something But I think it's like I think it's a Mog Isn't it like

It's like I think it's alpha male of the group It's real like But I don't think by nature But by just fact It's all the the The Mogging look maxing people Is like right wing people

Yes yeah yeah Yeah yeah They're and also I'm jealous They're the kinds of people that would be like, I don't talk politics. And you're like, okay, yeah. But anyway, I'm the alpha male.

Yeah. But Taylor Farms did nothing wrong. And then you see. No, they didn't. And then you see. Some people skinny, I think. There he goes. It's not working.

You got to do harder. It's way harder. That's not a hammer. Mm-hmm. I like watching clips when you see them occasionally of like these. I like watching clips too. They're great. It's fun to watch clips of like, like,

like, like, look maxing guys and they meet like a real life person. And the person is like, what? Yeah, what do you? What is? I mean, imagine, like, one of them meeting Nick. Yes, that's, yeah. Because then he would ask it, he'd be like, what's Mogs? Yeah.

Yeah, but Nick even could get away with meeting a real, if someone met Nick in real life, he'd be like a real life freak. Look maxing people is like internet people. It's like, they're very, like, internet speak someone. Very right. Where like they could just like, watch this. And you go in the real world and they're like, fuck are you talking about it. It's all those people.

It's all those people online who are convinced no one was going to go see the Odyssey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just. What? online like isn't like the real world and people keep forgetting. And so they're like, yeah, this guy looks maxes. And it's like I I work in an office and I have a mortgage. I don't know what that means.

Right. Yeah. It's honestly, it is, it's a thing that I see on TikTok a lot where it will be someone explaining like the fifth level of drama between two people you've never heard of. And the top comment is I'm too employed to know what any of this means. And it's like, yeah, it's about right. Here's everything you need to know about the drama going on. Yeah.

Between Gumpel Schmerker and... Have you heard about that? And Tingo? And Tingo 45. They recast Gumpel Schmoker. Dude. Honestly, I'm a Tinkgo head. So, like...

Bombax. Too hard. I just couldn't believe what he did, honestly. I just think that Tinko 45 does what Tinko does. And if you're not, if you're not used to that by now. Tinkle. Yeah. Oh.

Not to be confused with Tingle. Thank you. You guys were doing that. You guys were doing that a lot. a lot. Yeah, it was just one quick blast. Yeah, we just blasted real quick. It was a lot of blasts.

All the best sound bites from Winwaker. And you said that the best games. You said the one on Switch is the one from GameCube. Yeah, which sucks because yeah, they did, in the HD and their they have so many quality of life improvements.

Yeah, it was like two, but they were two big ones. Yeah. It was, you fast sail and you didn't, you didn't need to play, you didn't need to change the wind direction. Yeah, playing the song. The wind just back to the sale no matter what. I think they did something with a command melody too.

I hated that game. With the what? The command melody, like in the dungeons where you have to take over. Oh, okay. I don't remember. But like, go fast and no use. Right. A baton.

Right. Every time. Game changing. Everybody was like, oh. You're sailing. You're like, fuck, I gotta go into the direction. I gotta go like in between cardinal directions. Yep.

Yep. Anyway, I think Nick should freak max. There were, he's already doing it, baby. He's already kind of there, right? There were so many times playing that in the original Gameby version where, like, I was close enough to a thing. Oh, and you're just like. I would just sail in between the arrow.

I would just not bother. I'm like, get there. That's fine. This is probably just as fast as the wind was right against you. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Then playing the song. Yeah. Conducting the song. Sorry. If the era was like 45 degrees off, it's like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You get a little bit. So I did not like Win waker. No, I'm good. Thank you. I wasn't offering. I was just doing this in your face.

Yeah. Cheers to you. I was annoying maxing. Yeah. Oh. Pissman. Oh, I'm piss max. Yeah, baby.

Carl's Jr. is launching an $85,000 contest where participants make Carl's Jr. commercials celebrating their 80th-fifth anniversary. The contest, which is cheaper than making a commercial, runs through late August and will be won by a pre-selected influencer that Carl's Jr. paid production costs for or us. Either we win and it's legit or someone else wins and it's rigged. I mean, think about it.

I'm thinking about it. A lot of that going around. Yeah. I'm thinking about where the fuck is the pretzel pub? It's got me back soon. They're not doing it. They're just not doing it. There's no way, right?

And we didn't win their influencer job. Yeah. Or their whatever. It's weird because we had a huge influence on that fucking thing. Remember when they replied all you? Yep. Yeah. And we were like.

Yes. Yeah. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see how the, did you see how your plans? Did you see how you rigged it and tried to rig it and we saved everyone?

And you still just pretended like you won? You understand. that. And then you quietly had to delete it. That was all you. Yes. Yeah. Yep. Fucking Like what, like, what don't you understand? Every vote? No. The votes that mattered?

Yes. I don't care about Carl's Jr. enough to like want to win this. But I will say $85,000 pretty good. Pretty good. We could like do to be budget. Yep. And just make something real quick. We can do. We can do Grand Theft Auto Murder City style. Not affiliated with Grand The Thore. No, no, no.

We should just send them back. That movie. Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 in 2002 or whatever. So fucking cool. It was like the 80s. Oh, you're right. 1986. Yep.

It was the crack era. So yeah, we... Those are the days. I mean, we could film a commercial. It just wouldn't take that long. It would just be like... Why is that a negative? But then also like...

We could film a commercial, but unfortunately it wouldn't take that long. So, you know, what's the point? I think for 85 years, we find a vintage car. We find an 85 year. Man. From 85 years. I think you do. And it's Nick in a bikini in the sauce monkey hat.

Oh, and he's washing the car. And he's washing the car. So it's going back to the horny monkey merch. Yeah. Horny monkey line. Yeah. 85 years. And also, Nick is horny max.

Their best commercial. Foot maxing. And then bone smashing that footmax. No. Sauce monkey. That's the title of this. Sauce monkey bone smashes the footmacks? Show those Barbie monkey feet.

I don't like feet. Make it stop. Dude, this last one's long. Yeah. This is the last one. This is the last fact, though. You really skimp this time. This summer, Carl's Jr. ran a promotion called, quote,

pass the jack where you could receive a free jack off. No, sorry, a free sourdough burger from Carl's Jr. If you printed out your roadmap trip route where you passed a jack in the box and didn't stop to eat there. What? This is like Best Buy taking a dig at Circuit City in 2026. like guys you've got to work together here you're getting stomped out by Amazon

aim a little higher that also goes for anyone who attempted to participate in this promotion and got blank-faced stairs from Carl's junior employees when they were shown MapQuest printouts you need to change a lot in your life or it's time to just hang it up if you catch our drift

yikes also this promotion should have been called jackoff right yeah pass the jacks that it like Why are they taking digs at? Because they're down there with them. Right, but you should aim higher. Right, but it's not believable at that point. Like, even they know it's believable, like, well,

it's like two losers fighting. It's like, you know, I mean, I'm giving them credit. You know what we make fun of Burger Green for taking swipes at McDonald's? Yeah, exactly. This is fair. This is fair. Yeah, but like, who else are going to take swipe sad?

Jack in the box. Casey's? Yeah. There's only one. There's only one of them, too. This makes sense. They're going to duke it out. gonna have the last one in Austin.

Fight. I agree that. They need to have class solidarity and go after the big guns. That's what I'm saying. If the two pigs are rolling around in the mud while the man in the mansion

watches. Right. Right. From the hill. But two pigs still can't touch the man in the mansion. It's just two. The pigs need to work

if all the pigs weren't together. There's not enough pigs. All the pigs. Exactly. I'm agreeing with you. All the pigs. Churches.

Burger king. You can't touch the man. He's a man. You're just pigs. There's not enough. If there was a thousand In Pigs, yes. Five Pigs is still Pigs. Two Pigs, five pigs.

In this matter for. I don't know enough pigs. In the comments, let us know what your favorite Pigs restaurant is. What's at the bottom? Bigley Wiggly. No, that's not really a grocery store. Right. It's probably higher up there. Rallies.

Rallies slash checkers, pig restaurant. Okay. Cheddars? Steak and shake. Steak and shake pig restaurant. Uh-huh. What's another like? drive through where you just go, eh.

Right. It's like... Honestly, I would say it, but it feels higher class than these guys. And maybe it didn't used to be, but Sonic. Sonic, I think, can definitely be a pig restaurant. But I think Sonic's like King of the Pig. Yeah, I feel like, because like, Arby's pig. Arby's could be pig restaurant if they decided to join, but they're closer to man.

Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it. They're like it, but people like it. Yeah. They're in the in-between bit of the Odyssey. where Circe is holding them in the pigs. They're like half pig, half man. Half pig half man.

Have you seen that's Arbys? Did you see it with Tom Cruise? Did I see it with Tom Cruise? Yeah. He went and saw like a private screening at like an AMC. And then after the screening, he invited all the AMC employees to watch it with him. And then sat down and watched the movie. He really doesn't have that many friends.

He does it. And he genuinely loves movies. And then like yelled like this, this is shit or something like that. Like throughout the film. Oh, yeah. And he was John. jumping up and down on the job. Yeah, apparently.

I mean, I love The Odyssey. Yeah. It's, it's cool that, like, he loves movies that much. I think it's nice that he enjoys something because he seems like so robotic and weird. It's cool that he loves movies that much. It's weird that you would be jumping up and down yelling, this is the shit at a Christopher Nolan movie, which is, like, the most humorless bleak. Like, it's just dower and, like, dark.

That was so fucking sick. That was so fucking sick. That was so fucking sick. That was so fucking sick. Yeah. He's a, uh, he's a, what, a 62 year old man? I saw people on social media.

He's the Agamemnon, bro. Dude, he was fucking bogging Odysseus. I saw people make a handle. Like, they were like, I'm new to Twitter. I just made this account to post this. I had to talk about this. Yes, yes, I worked there. And he kept saying that was so fucking sick. And it was so fucking sick.

Holy shit. That's awesome. That's so cool. I saw a. So you didn't see with him. I, no, I did not. I didn't go to the AMC. Damn. I saw a weird trailer Have you seen this The Alejandro Inorito movie that's coming out called Digger? Is that the Lange Gaga song?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like Tom Cruise is in it. Tom Cruise is here. Like, there's tons of makeup and all this shit. It's just so much like teaser stuff and it's just him like you don't know what it's about and he's just going like woo! He's got like a Southern accent.

He looks really strange. I thought I was about to see a trailer for it finally a couple weeks ago. It was four minutes of every movie Tom Cruise has done. I saw that. Yes. It's like a four-minute montage of just Tom Cruise and it's a lot of

all the traffic thunder. It's a lot of like the Trumpic Thunder like that character he's playing. Why? And then and then it ends and it's like anyway, there's a movie coming out. Right. Nothing more about the trailer. I was very confused. Yeah.

Because I saw it at Alamo, I thought it was going to be like, oh, it's going to be like a Tom Cruise month. Like I thought it out of like a retrospective. Like a Tom Cruise like we're going to show all his best movies this month. I was like, oh, this is pretty cool actually. Yeah, it was just like a four-minute trailer and I was like what am I watching? And then it was just another teaser. for a teaser I'd already seen for a movie that I wanted to know more about

and I was just so confused the end of that story is also they finally put the trailer out for the movie and I don't want to see it. What? Oh, I saw the trailer for that. I didn't look it up. I saw the trailer for that and it is just

it looks like what was the Mark Ruffalo Emma Stone movie that's directed by like the Easter? Mickey 17? No, no. No. It's, um, fuck, it just, MS-17.

It just looks, yeah, hell yeah. We're all, and we're all in MS-17. You are. Um, it, it just looks so like, like, European director makes weird American movie and is just have a, it seems like while he's directing it, he's going, ha-ha, yes, yes. Gus described it as Mickey 17 meets Dr. Strangelove.

Oh, yeah. That was a really good comparison. It's just, it's very weird. It just looks very weird for the sake of being weird. I'm very not on board with it right now, but, maybe. Maybe it's good. But like it just like there was so much hype built up for it at least like

because I kept seeing all this stuff. And then I finally saw the trailer and it's like this kind of looks like a mess. Yeah, it's Tom Cruise in makeup. So I think that- I was hyped watching that thing. We were talking about by a bunch of good movies that reminded me out. Yeah. That was a good one. Yeah. Oh, that was a good one too.

Oh, I think, I think they're trying to use, it's just the straight up star power, right? Like they're just going like, this is the last movie star. This is like the last true movie star. Yeah. In its, his hair was gray. Yeah, and it was not yet. Was that collateral?

I watched that not too long ago. That movie, that movie's awesome. That's what I'm saying. I was so cool. A bunch of toes from those movies. And I was like, that's a good one. I should watch that again. He showed up at the World Cup.

Minority reporters. He did like the intro for it. Yeah. And then like Robbie Williams sang like a national anthem. He did something. Robin Williams? Robbie Williams.

Oh, also Robin was. Oh, he was. Homer? Don't. Homer let the Barts out. Oh, man. he did something like in the stadium announcing like oh soccer isn't it great to everyone

and then it cut to a like pre-recorded thing of him saying pretty much the same thing yeah yeah I was so confused did you see the halftime show for the game I did not it was I kind of was like Shakira live thing whatever and then they did see the Muppets yeah cool and then they cut to a thing and it's like and here's Madonna

performing and then I saw yeah it's on video people were filming it inside the stadium going she's not there. Madonna's not here. They're making us watch this video on the Jumbotron. I paid like $1,700 for the shitty seat.

I was like, that rocks. I think that's so cool. Madonna had a better show at the finals. Madonna mugged them all. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Moggedana. Oh my God.

Sauce Monkey and Magda footmax. She was Donmaxing? This is good. Anyway, I think if Digger doesn't do well, it can become a pig movie and it should band with the other pig movies to take down the Odyssey. None of these were pig movies.

They were pig restaurants. Yeah, but they could be, but I'm just applying it. I'm just saying he said other pig movies. Well, yeah, because I think there could be, I think there are other pig movies. We didn't talk about pig movies. What are some examples of other pig movies? What didn't do well?

You know what? You know what ended up being a pig movie? You didn't think it was. Was the Baby Yoda movie. That ended up being a pig movie. That did not do well. Supergirl is like half pig. So bad and or like not well received

and also just bad at the box office? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like real low down in the mud rolling around with the other pigs. All right, I guess. Yeah, yeah. What about movies that are like bad but do really well at the box office?

Like a pig movie. No, that's like, that's not quite like the main. Transformer could be the man in the mansion. It's like a pig man. Yeah. It's like pig, but he did it. Odyssey is a pig. He tricked everyone.

Pig, but huge in China. Yeah. It's a bunch of, it's a bunch of pigs stacked up on each other in trench camp. Yeah, yeah. And everyone knows their pigs

doesn't matter. Except the people going to see the movie. They're just like, that was the most non-pig thing I've ever seen in my life. This guy's my best friend. Not pig,

not pig man responds. Oink, wink, wink. Dude, you said it. You're my best friend. I hate pig. Bro. And then you look over and Tom Cruise's there

he goes, I fucking love this. He's fucking sick. He's grabbing the pig. I love this guy. I love this guy. Yeah. So I'm very into,

I'm very into pig restaurants helping each other out. I think that, I do think that, like, in general, this, this set of pictures. That's, dude, fucking crazy. There's Tom Cruise. There's the movie. There's him with AMC voice.

It's crazy that he goes to AMC. That's nuts. Well, he was there like a, well, apparently he was at like a private screening at AMC. Got out of the screening, went, almost, let's run it again. Who wants to watch it with you? Run it back!

Rewind the film. Because he saw it in 70 millimeter. That's right. All going on break. Yeah. I'm not covering your salary. But it's weird to invite people who work there to come watch the movie because they're all working. Who's serving popcorn and taking tickets? Nobody?

The theater has shut down because of Tom Cruise. Hey, hey, and honestly? That's fine. Yeah. What are you going to do? What are you going to do band together with the other moviegoers? You fucking pigs roll around. Tom Cruise the man of the mansion.

Think about it. My day kicks off with a refreshing Celsius energy drink. Pre-K drop off. Then straight to the gin. back home to meal prep before heading to the fire station for my shift. When the three alarm comes in, I'm ready. Celsius, live, fit, go. Grab a cold, refreshing Celsius energy drink at your local retailer,

or locate now at Celsius.ca. Enjoy Celsius responsibly. Designed for occasional energy boost, not as part of your daily diet. Please adhere to recommended serving limits. Hey, Jordan, you want to learn about the food? See how much time we killed? Beautiful. But it was all good.

stuff and not like saying where the Casey's is. And truly, truly, we were the pigs banding together against a man of the mansion, which was time. Pigs. Not pigs. Man. Pigs. Time when we are now. The Carl's Jr. Chicken Maxx sandwich. Yep. The sandwich

features two spicy chicken patties topped with pepper jack and American cheese. Lettuce. Uh-oh. Tomato pickles on a seated bun. Guests can also customize the sandwich by Iding adding fiery sauce and jalapenos through the brands

make it fiery option for additional heat. We did that. Wow, I love how personal this was. Yeah, we did they spell fiery. That is how they spell it at the store too. Oh yeah, that's wrong. Yeah, so wrong. Are you sure?

What's funny, because it's spelled right when it says fiery sauce. Isn't that weird? They just used the word fire and then add it a wire. Yeah, fiery. Well, that's how you would spell it the first time you're spelling the word fiery. Right, because that's how you think it would be spelled.

Which is what they did because they put it in a capital F Well, they're word maxing. They are word maxing. They're letter magging. Is the correct spelling of fiery, like, trademarked? And they had to spellings different? No, but I think they wanted to make something fiery in their own way. Yeah.

Which they did by not making it spicy at all. Trailblazers. What are you talking about? They said, it's a little spicy. Was it? Well, make it fiery made it spicy. Yeah, that's it. It tasted only like the sauce and like cafeteria chicken.

Right, but if you didn't make it fiery, the hot chicken was not going to be hot. No. I don't know what that would have tasted like. It did not. Because make it fiery was jalapinos and sauce. You should definitely make it fire. Fire if you're getting it.

Yeah. It should also be fiery to start. Yeah. I mean, I don't. I don't care. That's pig. Pig food.

I don't care. Clear. Yeah. So clear. I'm not answering the phone. Just say I'm missing. Let's come on. Let's get to the chicken.

Just say I'm missing. Got out of clear. for me, I don't give a fuck. We've got less than two hours. The breast material says, quote, when hunger strikes on a road trip, it's tempting to pull over at that first burger joint you see, says Paz Romero,

Vice President of Brand Marketing at Carls Jr. This summer, we know our loyal fans and new customers, new customers, are bound to drive by a Carl's Jr., so we want to reward them for stopping at the best burger option on the road. I imagine this has to do with the jackoff thing. That was a, that was the jackoff promotion that Carl's Jr. ran.

That's the latest press material that they had. This summer, we know our loyal fans and new customers are bound to drive by a Carl's Jr. I mean. Yep, I bet they will. Yeah. Well, I bet they will drive by it. And we're begging you, please stop. Yeah.

And if you live in Austin, you might not drive by a Casey's or a Carl's Jr. at all. Casey's isn't Austin, though. If you live in Cedar Park, you'll probably drive past the Carl's Jr. and keep going. Would you drive past the Casey's? No, it's in Austin. You're more vindicated every day. It's the first 17 minutes to lumbering.

The idea that they're just taking shots at Jack in the Box is so crazy. Hold on. Nick's sitting in the middle. No, no, I just added it. Is this the danger dog? Dude, he just at it? Yeah, just now.

Bacon, wrapped fried hot dog, Pickle, alpanias, onion. Yeller House Bun. Just so we don't forget. He's fucking working. overtime right now. He's doing two jobs. No, no, no. He's using his free time wisely. It's called multitasking.

Yes, it is. What is your second? What is the second task? Yeah. Headphones. Yeah, he's always listening. Running this shit. In case anyone gets too loud. I'm going to go watch a movie with Tom Cruise. Trying to help your ears. You're wrong. You're going to go watch a movie of Tom Cruise? Yeah. Right

in the middle of this. I'm multitasking. Well, then you can't do this task, though. Huh? Exactly. But I'm on the clock. Yeah. So, duh. I already was just grabbing people who are working. Well, we have our review of Carl's Jr.

And we're gonna get to it right now. Here we go. But we need to hear from you in a second. We call you review. Now we're getting into pigs. Who wants to do the first two? Because the last one's long. Holy shit.

Rock paper, scissors or are you too tired? I'll just do it. I'll do the last one. Okay, okay. Okay, cool. Linetta F. Oh, brother. What do you think the common theme is going to be for these?

Go ahead. Go ahead, Jordan. Go ahead. Ratchet, ratchet, ratchet. I said no cheese. You missed one. Ratchet, ratchet, ratchet. I said no cheese on my burger.

I had cheese melted all down the sandwich. So I called because I don't live in the Dallas area area. I live an hour away. But when I tell, I called no one answered the first time I called again and thought I called somebody's cell phone. The young lady answered the phone. I had to ask her, is this Carl's Jr.? They offered to replace my meal, but I think I'm a take the L on this one.

B.C. when I say Ratchet, baby, trust, and believe you. So this sounds ratchet as fuck. Whoever is typing this. Nothing they described about the Carl's Jr. was Ratchet. Right? It's just like, all that you said is you wanted no cheese and you got cheese. And then that's not what Ratchet means. I'm curious about how like,

you act didn't have a Ratchet. You went home? an hour away? And they offered to replace it and you said no. But you're right. If that's the Carl Jr. that she went to. Why did she?

She passed the jack for this. That's fucked up. Dang. It's going to make any sense. They offered to replace my meal. But I think I'm going to take the L. One star. I'm going to take it L.

I like, I'm confused about like calling and then getting someone to answer and then having to ask is this Carl's Jr. And then they offered to replace the edge. And then they said, we'll replace your meal. Yeah. Hello? If you called myself. Hi, is this Carl's Jr.?

Yeah, do you want us to replace your meal? That's how I'll wait. Oh, ratchet, ratchet, ratchet, ratchet. I just, I like when they get too ahead of themselves in their writing. Right. I don't live in the Dallas area. I live an hour away,

but when I tell I called, no one answered the first time I called again. It's like, it's too, it's too many thoughts jumbled together into one sentence and you go, fantastic. It's really, really good. typing, my brain's going fast. And then it's like so many thoughts, but really not

one complete thoughts. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's none of the bunch of baby thoughts. And also, if it was the fun of unformed thoughts. Doesn't matter. When I say raggedy, baby, trust, and believe. So, also, what was the point of calling? They offered a replacement. I don't know. No. No. So what did you call for? Well, I'm going to take the L for this one. Yeah. Would you call for? You took the L by calling

and not taking the meal, like offer. I don't understand. What did you call for? What were you? Crazy. One star. Lorry you. This was the worst, Carl's Jr. I have ever been to.

The Coke dispenser didn't work. The ketchup dispenser was not working. And to top it all off, when I ordered a Santa Fe chicken, they gave me a chicken sandwich without any green chili and didn't say anything. What? They said nothing?

Wow. When I took the sandwich back, they said, oh, we ran a green chili. When the gangster took our order, he was very unprofessional or helpful. Or when taking our order, the gangster seemed to be totally confused and unhelpful. Do you think that's like a retake? Do you think like that typed out the first one? I'm going to do a different way.

Typing this. Saying, saying, they're a very unprofessional and helpful as you're just a fucking racist. The gangster took my order. I won't stop here again. Called to report the bad service. And the police. And the call dropped and they did not call. Dude.

I love the gangster. Do you think they meant like in like a 1940s type thing? Yeah. Yeah. What are you from the anniversary? Yeah. What do you think they meant by that? What can I get you, boss?

I work in the back of the kitchen. I don't get to see the sunlight. Holy shit, dude. Gangster? Anything you want, boss. Just though, and the way there's no buildup, it's just, right, just casually in the middle of a sentence. And it's like, did you order from the gangster?

How nice did they employ you here? How not nice, apparently. Confused and unhelpful. Unprofessional and unhelpful. That really reads to me like it was a retake. Yeah. And they just forgot to delete the first one. What am I supposed to say about the gangster?

Oh, hang on. Oh, I'm getting professional. Oh, wait, I got a better way. I'll just leave both. It's fine. They'll get it, and the gangster will be eating his words. Last one. Yep.

Last one. Millie M. says, I'm calling the health department. I'm turning in cruelty to elderly and handicapped people to the county. Uh-oh. I'm turning in elderly people and handicapped people to the county. Yep. You're turning them in.

What? Yeah. And I'm appalled and very disgusted with my experience with the Carl's Jr. And unfortunately, loves rents that portion of the building to them. So they took just, they look just as bad. So I will be calling their corporate as well. And because I paid using point system, didn't pay, don't bet on this purchase being covered up.

If I rented to someone who had a lot of negativity, I would quickly quickly find a replacement so it wouldn't hurt my business by association. Do not eat anywhere that is Carl's Jr. in Dallas. And if you expect to get a hold of anyone at the Carl's Jr. in Texas, don't bother because I had to call all the way up to Sulfur, Oklahoma before I got somebody to answer. Older guy was working the register. He took it perfect. But when I had to call because order was wrong, she said she knew it was wrong, but to bring it in and she would remake it. She took the food back over the counter, which is disgusting in itself because you don't know who's been sick or what they have done to it before giving it back.

The food was hard and cold as it was, but to sit there and watch her treat someone like crap who did their job properly and not bother with the refund and then going to lie to the manager. What? Manager said, oh, I hear all about it from the whole store, which is a lie, because I only said something to her about it being a healthy. hazard to take food back once it's been outside and a love's employee who verified that she does it all the time, but he will dish it back out

to her, which shouldn't happen in front of the customers. Another customer shook his head and said he agreed. I'm thinking this worker has a complex because I praised somebody with a disability before I praised her stupid self for giving me cold hard food, not

bothering with a refund, and then admitting to me that she gave me the order wrong to begin with when I called and had to go back in. I told her I worked in health care and was not fond of the risk of her taking the food back and said I'd rather pay for it even though I was given it on purpose by her admission on the phone and shouldn't have had to. But she said, well, you didn't pay for it and what I'm fixing to do is make you a new one and take the old one back.

I'm not stupid. I know what she was doing, but she didn't understand basic common sense and logic. and you don't disrespect the disabled and even then if you don't seem to care about that like a dirt bag you still don't disrespect your elders and if you want to go home and live like a slob and treat people like crap that's on you but don't do it in your workplace

unlike you a lot of us don't have homes we work all the time and don't want it come in and see that you get to go home while you got a sour attitude at work you can save it until you clock out and leave don't get mad at everybody else because you chose to work a mediocre job with low pay that you hate it.

Jordan, how you feeling? Oh, my God. I kind of lost the thread. I feel like I've seen the Odyssey. I lost the thread second sentence in, Jordan. Dude, for sure. What the fuck? Is that the Cyclops Island?

Holy moly. No, that was the whole thing. That was everything. Why would you call Sulfur, Oklahoma? No, what? It had to go to the top. All the way up. It just kept going north.

What did they just say? I have no idea. I don't know what happened. I don't know what the problem was. Well, the food was cold and hard is my understanding. I got that much. So she was really upset that they took it back. Yeah.

Yeah, which doesn't make any sense to me. But like, they never had said they were going to take it back and serve it. Yeah. They just took it back. I assume they're going to throw it away. Yeah. No, that's not because they know what's going to happen. Right.

That's it. Right. That's it. That's the inclination. Yeah. She just went, you're taking it back. And I know why. You didn't see them serve it.

They didn't say they were going to give it. They just took the food back. Yeah. They just wanted you to bring it in, I guess, to see that it was fucked up and you take it back. Now, and then that was it. I am confused. What? How?

About what? Hang on, let me read it again. I'm thinking. I'm calling the health department. I'm turning in cruelty to elderly and handicapped people to the county. I'm thinking this worker has a complex because I praised somebody with a disability before I praised her stupid self for giving me cold hard food, not bothering with a refund, then admitting to me that she gave me the wrong order to begin with.

What? The who? Well, someone else ordered cold hard food and she was giving it to her by mistake, but she knew it. I don't understand. It was a lot of words. I praised someone with a disability before I praised you. She said a lot of words to really not say anything. Nothing.

Bless. I would love to actually hear a CliffsNotes version of the Odyssey that is written like a reviewer. Me and friends leave Troy going back home split up from other people. Knew what was happening, did it anyway. Whole time, Tom Cruise, this fucking sick found island went in cave. Cyclops all of a sudden. I praise Cyclops' disability. Not dumb ass.

He's too-eyed. He still eat friends. I run from sheep and I say nobody. These siren gangsters treating us into the rocks. Making my crewmates go crazy. Tie me to the bass. See if I

care. Get home. All men at my house with sour attitude. Not all of us can go home. You don't disrespect the disabled. And even if you don't seem to care about that like a dirt bag, you still don't disrespect your elders. And if you do want to go home and live

like a slob. What does that even come from? You're just going on a danger. You go home, live like a slub. You get bottle, drink, pissed, get poop thrown at you in bed, Johnny Depp. Make me string bow shoot through asses. Holy hell. Is it chicken wing time?

Get wife not, get home, wife not know who I am. Sour attitudes all around. Well, those are your reviews of Carl's Jr. She tell me I'm no Nick Cage. We have our reviews of Carl's Jr., chicken, Max. sandwich, Jordan go first. What you think? It's bad. What? It was bad and

not good. But I can only imagine Casey's is worse, so, you know? I think we'd come out of... That's a gangster mindset. I think we'd come out of head. Anyway. We only, we split them up

because we just, we were eating some more food later. Yeah, we did two sandwiches, we just cut them in half. We just had half of one. I think I took, what, two bites? Three bites? You did not have a lot. it? Shocker. It already didn't look good.

This looks like shit. Tastes it like it's from a cafeteria. Why didn't you finish it? Yeah, what the fuck? Eric opened it. I go, that's not the right food. That doesn't look like that at all. It was very smushed down.

I thought it was really weird for a chick-fil-a sandwich. Michael was staring at the Chick-fil-A going, it's making it really hard. Yeah. You did praise some handicapped people, I thought that was cool.

That made Nick Matt because you didn't praise his stupid self-hurst. Yeah. The... The patties look bad. They looked like shit. It was hot in the restaurant, too. It's hot now.

And it is hot now. And I just knew what we were getting into. But luckily, we got it with that sauce. In the first couple bites, it masks. Yeah. The flavor of the bad chicken. I know what there was flavor. It was a little.

It was just flavorless chicken. It was just a little spicy and I go, okay, this is okay. And then the last bite I took, it just tasted like the cafeteria chicken paddies. It really did. Like your high school cafeteria. And I was like, ah, that's enough for me. It's so good. Not much else to say other than to give it the rating of which I am giving.

I can't remember if it was worse than the last thing we got. Now, what do you think the last? Uh-huh. Imagine it was. Okay. So I'm going to hit it with a 20. There you go. This was pretty bad.

Mm-hmm. I think it was better than the last thing we had. Okay. But maybe that's just because the spicy sauce was not half bad. Spicy sauce really carried it because it was the only thing that tastes like it. Fiery. Fiery sauce. Yeah.

I think it was one point better than what we had to give it a 30. Wow. 30, which is an average rating. He's doing the math. 25. 25 is the average rating. And, you know what?

They're still down there in the, in the pig's dye together. 24 to 25 ain't taking them out of the pick time. No, no, 24 and 25 are rolling around in the mud while the big Archburger watches from the mansion. Oh my God, what a good burger. Oh, I'm sad that's gone, dude. That was good. That was a good burger.

Is there a fast food restaurant that's so bad we would never like endorse them or like work with them in some way? I mean, it's kind of hard because at this point we've done so many and people... What does he work with mean? Like, go there for the show. Alex Burrell did the thing where it's like, this is my board. You know, would we do a 100% eat endorsed a burger from Carl's Jr.?

I think I think we definitely would. I would be okay with it as long as we could be endorse it and put her name on it and say it's bad. You know what I mean? Like it's like I would be okay endorsing it as long as we didn't lie and say it was good, but they would never let us do that. But I feel like the audience would also be like, I know exactly why they're doing this. They don't actually think Carl's Jr. is good all of a sudden. Right. Right.

I'd be okay working with any slop under the sun as long as we didn't lie. Yeah. I'm with you. I could agree with that. Might be totally fine with that. You know you're bad and we're going to say it's bad. Yeah, we don't care. Coming soon.

100% eat X-Short marketing. Okay. Because we're going to put our name on it and say it sucks. But also, to your benefit, people will still get it. Yep. If we say 100% of it here, it sucks. You should try it. They would.

Coming soon to Carl's Jr. The 100% eat pigsty burger. Roll on the mud. Get your pig on. Are you a pig and know it? Oink on down. Oh, he gone down. Tom Cruise will be there.

If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't get all over the place. Pig Burger. Got some friends that aren't pigs, but more of some heifers, you can bring them. And that's how you get the sauce monkey and the bikini. Come on down to the farm.

Wiping down the car. Show those Barbie monkey feet. Yep. Damn. Well, Ook, ook. That's our review of the Carl's Jr. Chicken Max burger.

I don't know that it chicken maxed very well. I don't know what the max is all. Chicken mined. Yeah, it did not frame-mog anyone. There wasn't chicken. It wasn't chicken rags. but a little maxed. With two X's.

You know what? We're going to New York max in September. When we have our live show at the Bell House in Brooklyn on September the 3rd, that's a Thursday, 100% eat live. You got a bit.ly slash 100% eat live. Less than 40 tickets remain. Yeah. We have a number and that's what it is as of today. And that's now when we are.

Right. Yeah. And that's now here and there. I will say here and now. I'll throw it out there in case it hasn't been scooped up. probably gone. We were saying the VIB tickets were gone. Yep. There were some holdovers that they released. So as of

now, there was like three more VIPs available. As of 4.29 PM on Wednesday, July 22nd. If you got a ticket already and maybe like you want a VIP but they were gone, three have been released into the wild. They may have been scooped up by now, but if they haven't, you could just rush

on over and check. They were gone and now there's three more. If you want to go from a pig to a man in the mansion, dude. That's true. What if That's the way to do it. That's the way to become the man. Better seats, meet and greet after and an exclusive post-trial.

That's right. I'm guessing they're gone by the time this episode comes out. But they might not be. Who knows? If people didn't know, if the word didn't get out. Yep. So there you have it.

Bit.ly slash 100% eat live. You want to join us in New York. That's not what Nick calls it, but you can come see us live. You can also go to 100% eat. You call it. The pig farm. That's right.

And it's Michael Jordan podcast every Friday. You can sign up at Patreon.com slash 100% eat. We're doing that weekly now. It's right. That's right. Now? Yeah. It's the better show.

And you can go and watch it. Well, yeah, it's shorter. Yeah, you can go and watch it every Friday. So if you sign up for like a month at the $10 tier, the crackle, you can go back and watch all the old ones. You know, why sign up at 10 when you can pay 11? You can be, and that makes you $1 better. But you know what makes you like 10 times better than that? It's like a pig with a hat.

A 100% fan. Oh, if you want to go straight to human. I wasn't ready. Yep. If you want to become the man or the number. Become a 100% man. It's so hot. Oh my God.

It's warm in here. It's sweltering. And with the 100% fan, you get a shoutout. We have so many shoutouts, just like that. Could be hammering. Could be, hey, I saw somebody left a comment on the last one and they said, hey, I was the guy that said my fiancee does not like the show, but you wish her happy birthday. Did you like that? They just wanted to specify that they don't loathe the show.

It's just they have to hear it all the time, whatever. And I just went, they don't like it. Yeah, yeah. And that's the same time. I think she probably loathes her husband. Yes, I agree. We're not making you listen to it at all. Yeah.

We're just making you. We're not making it. We're not sending it to you. Yeah. That's his fault. Jordan has a shout-outs. How many we got today, Jordan? We're still sticking with $300.

I love it. I did some math. We might be able to get all of the ones from May in this calendar year. Wow. That's cool. If we keep doing it at this pace. Our first one comes from, Dirk McNeely, who signed up again.

What? And left a message that reads, Courtney says hi. What the fuck? Oh, wow. And she's doing Fushigi? We just had to get the other end of the conversation. We get them to win and then we get them on the line. That's right.

Excellent. Hooked him. Fushigi. This is from another repeat who I think made two accounts to enter the Cucketer. The way to do it. Chris Dron, who lists this as a hammering, but all it says is bug a. Okay, two words He spent an extra $100 on that one

Okay, probably probably on the contest, not on that comment Maybe, maybe, maybe I mean, fuck, I gotta write something, bug Here's the thing, Eric, oh no, you don't have to Oh, you get to, you don't have to Well, I'm glad they used it for that though Me too This last one is longer in from Caleb

Speak your peace, Kim Caleb says, hello bug king sauce monkey and Eric It's Shadow Shine 57, aka the guy who goes to Knott's Berry Farm a lot. Nice. AKA the guy who eats a pack of Oreos in one sitting. This guy's known for multiple things. He's well known.

I want to use my shadow to besiege you to do some kind of content around Keynes. Not just because I'm a homegrown Louisiana and LSU boy who loves Keynes more than anything. But also because it will bring the old Dr. Robert Tomato Keynes arc full circle. Only people who are terminally on the Discord will understand that.

That's very exciting. I don't know if you guys know about that. Nope, I'm not terminally on a Discord. I don't get it. They're right. I'll explain it later. Also, shout out to Dr. Robot Tomato. He messaged me.

He said he finally landed a job. Hell yeah! We didn't hire him, did we? No. Not that I know. Okay. No. Maybe you can get one of the large soda cups of sauce and let Nick drink it or

something. As a minor sauce monkey, he got excited also when you said, do something with Keynes. I think he grabbed his phone to see if there's anything that we could do at Keynes that's limited. Yeah. I don't think they're multitasking again. We missed the time they did. But we lemonade. Lovenate. Whoa. Also we don't have to, we're not limited to limited. No, we can just go, Nick. Okay, let's do it. No, keep looking though. I did. I'm done. As in minor soft smoking myself, I know that's something I'd enjoy. Yum yum. Yum. There's another part of the message here,

but it's a little longer and it's for Michael. Oh. I'll tell you about it. Nice. That's very. Are they coming for me? Yeah. No, they're very thankful to you. Boom. Yeah, it's one of those guys. Don't read that on camera. It ruins my image.

That's why I'm doing you. That's why I'm doing you. Yeah. Well, hey, I appreciate it. If you want to send in your shout out or hammering or Michael message, you can sign up Patreon.com slash 100% Eat become a 100% fan. Nice toss. Whoa, what the fuck?

That wasn't even trying to get in the house. You can also follow us. No. At 100% eat on Twitter. He's a blue sky. You want to send anything to 100% treat or to us. You can P.O. Box 1432.41. Austin, Texas, 78714.

P-O-box 14-3-2-4-1. Austin, Texas, 7-8-7-1-4. Man, I'm so glad this is the only thing we're doing today we can go home after this. Because I'm so hot. Well, I'm glad that we're just done with this and it's just right into the wings. No.

We're not doing anything in between. Because I'm not. No. Hey, rate and subscribe. Oh, I thought that was going in. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Bye-bye.

sauce. No, rejected. Wimben yuma Get that weak mess out of here It wasn't going in It was like over here It was even close

Flip the water No 3, 2, 1 Let's go to Casey Golted I win Go to Casey's Go to Casey's