100% Eat - Sauce Monkey Sauce Ledger - Freddy’s Ride Along

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Nick bought the fry sauce but was it the right one. It looks good! What? Reflex? Reflux? What did you say? We're sticking with our messaging from the beginning. Stay tuned for the shocking end. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That was fast. It was fast. There was no one in there. It's a little early. I think we're just before the lunch rush. That's true. It's 11.40 right now. Got it.

We're, I feel, I don't know. You see the pictures on the wall? I think we might have missed the lunch rush. Might have been at 8.45 a year. We might have been just a hair early for the dinner rush. The early bird special? Man. Oh, it is having you go 35.

Yeah. Black Rock Vape? Yeah. Wow. We missed it. Right next to the Freddy's. How could they? Entitle Max. Entitle Max. He's got it all. Get your property while you're vape up.

Vap up. Hey, what are you doing this weekend? I'm vaping. I'm vaping up, I'm vaping up, baby. You want to vape up? Laker stores over there. Yeah, dude, it's a good one. I've been there. Beauty supply, you get drunk, you get beautified. And you cry on your barty. While you're vaping up, then you chop, chop, chop. Further down, there's a sponge-bop style. Caratette.

Carat. So this is Fluegerville, like technically? Yeah. Okay. Is it finally, like, not in Austin? Can we go to so many places that say Austin? Yes. It's like 40 minutes away.

And you're just like, how? All of the Freddy's are. They're all in like here, Round Rock and Cedar Park. They're not for big city folk. Yeah. I mean, that's... They're not for any folk. They look like.

The promotional material would agree with you. It's crazy. It looks so like homespun and like, hey, this is like a little place. They have almost. 500 locations. That's crazy. That's crazy. All in Round Rock?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, they're all closer in Texas. Based on the fun facts, they wrote on all of the portraits in every booth. Yeah, you learned a lot. They didn't open their second one until 2003. That's a long time. That's me in the first one.

Yeah. The dude was an old fart already. Well, he didn't have the business. Well, he looked like an old fart. He was probably 20. Yeah. Back that. Yeah.

You know, black and white makes you look older. He spent his 19th birthday in a foxhole in the Pacific. His 20th birthday. Spend his 21st birthday at Foxwood. Yeah. Now we're talking. What was the thing about may have had his first burger in 1936? And his family took a trip to California.

This is where he may have had his first steak burger. What the? We don't know. We asked him, but he's fucking senile. He's lost his goddamn mind. We don't know if he's dead. We don't know. Yeah, we don't know.

He couldn't be kicking, he could be like a hundred. There's a fact about it. Dude thought he was still in Iwo Jima. He just strikes me as a guy that called them like hamburger sandwiches. You know what I mean? Wopper sandwiches. Where the fuck?

What is this? Do I go? You go right. You go right. This can turn around. Hello, sir. Hello. You go right, it'll take you out of the freeway

and then you go. There's a Friday's just down the road. It's a really stupid interstate. If you had a hamburger sandwich, you can go to California. You want a taco hamburger? Did I talk a hamburger? Do you like tacos? Do you like hamburgers?

What if we meet in the middle and you don't like it at all? Yeah. Do you like that a possibility for you? Do you like the hamburger more than the taco? What if you take a bite and you just, it makes you go, huh? Do you want a lot of drips? Dude, the dripage. So drippy.

Drip was hardcore. Red drip. But plenty of sauces to go with it. Yeah. And that's what will go in the monkey eight ball. Yeah. That's what's going to go in the monkey eight ball. Yeah.

We got one of these. Yeah, but it bothers me a little bit that, like, it's indented. Yeah. I kind of want to open it just to, like, squeeze it and get it right. Yeah, you could. Yeah, it's pushing it. Oh, yeah. Bothers me.

This is what was affecting the spice of it. Yeah. That's what she said. That's why. That's crazy. That sounded bad. He said it like she said. That's what she said.

But it is, right. It is in fact what she said. That's just nuts that she would even know that. Yeah. And also offer that information unprompted. Yeah. that the last batch of manufactured bottles of sauces sold at retail was off. It wasn't as spiced.

The spice was off. Yeah, it was definitely lacking spice. The last batch didn't have the right spice, but I think this one's right. Are you making them in the back? Yeah. Also, we tried all of the other sauces, I think. None of them were spicy. No.

And that also wasn't even the best one. Yeah, that one was the worst one. No, but Nick jumped the gun and bought it immediately. I like that one. You're right. You're right. That was the one he knew. He got like so many of the small ones.

Did you take the extra one? He did. Of course he did. He bought a whole goddamn bottle. Well, what am I going to do? Throw this one away? Yes. No.

Put it back. No. Okay. You know what? I could have been wasted. It's all right. It goes in the drawer. Wasteage.

Dude, the drawer where it goes to die. Yeah, exactly. If we use any of that stuff, he can fucking counts it to make sure he still has more. Don't take it. We're running low. I got an idea. I'll get a ledger.

Oh, that'd be good. Hey, that'd be great. He simply has it to hoard it. We put the sauce ledger. We need to put the sauce ledger next to the time card. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a dewy decimal system for it. And what sauces did you take?

And it's all kept track of, then you open the drawer and it's just fucking smattering. Bullshit. Oh no. Find it and mark it. I can sense when they're gone. I can sense it. I feel it.

He's at home and like sweat. Yeah. Somebody touched it. Somebody took the holy. Check the ledger. Looker. Check the book. He's like more on top of it than his taxes. Oh yeah. Yeah. Ooh, can we hire a CPA for our sauces? No. You can, uh, an SBA. An SBA. Ooh. A saucified public account. Yeah.

It sucks. He loves it. I love it. He loves it. It was really funny watching Nick play with the, I say play, but like he had all the little sauces and he was like, these two I've had before, so I got two. And he puts them aside, he goes, now these two, I haven't tried it. So I got one of these. This one we've had so we know that this one's good. The Wii is like him. You were there with me when we had it? The we is him.

You were there? He was there. I don't remember trying the sauce at all. We had him with the top. That's why he remembers for you, asshole. He's got the ledger. That's right. It's not just sauce count.

It's also opinions on sauces, including yours. It's a ledger in my brain. You're too stupid to remember. I'm an open book. You're too open. Unfortunately, that's right. You're an open book that's like, people are being forced to read.

Stop being open at me. It's part of the curriculum. Stop. No, it isn't. It's an open book test and I'd rather not take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's part of the curriculum for a school I didn't sign up for it. Stop telling me to take this test.

I'm done with books. Teachers beware. Here's Benera. Teachers beware. Isn't they're fucking cut your school in half. There's the above the wild one. You get a half day. The only one left.

Oh, no, I was thinking of the Red Robin. This is a different. No, this is the one we go to. Oh, it is. Well, this is the one. You don't remember because you hit your head. Ha ha ha ha. I don't remember that.

What did that happen? I don't remember that. Yeah, it really ruined everything for everything. Yeah. I think what ruined everyone for everything for everyone was the fucking rattler, the mountain dew, that tastes like shit. Yeah, that was pretty fucking gross.

What a weird combo. It was so, like, sickly green. Like the beer got ill. Police? Police. Well, that's where the police goes. What if you were like, oh man, I'm going to Austin, I can't wait, and then this is where you stayed.

In the Fairfield area. What? It's off the highway. Parmer and 35, maybe. It's not much better than the double tree from the first RTX. That's where I stayed. I can't wait for Bernie to bring back RTS. I think it's going to be so great.

You're not invited. What? You're not invited. And you can't buy a ticket. Oh. I've got early information that you've been banned. He's paying you not to go. No, no, he's not.

He's not paying him and he's not going. All right, let's do a little yes and here. He's paying him not to go. Nope. I'm sorry. Some things are just too ridiculous. Yeah, you know what? As I said it, I knew I was wrong.

Yeah. I was talking out for you. Michael Skorn Freeze! Yeah. That's awesome. I was talking over the other day. He's like, he's like, He's like, they uploaded an old RTAA?

I'm like, no, that's a new one. Yeah, he was like, what? I was saying, yeah, I looked at Jordan having like a bunch of circles on it or something. Yeah, that's funny. I was like, that's the one I was working on last week. I know, I know. I was like, I only knew what he was talking about because I saw you. I did. You had it in your hand. I sent it to Bernie.

He was like, this one's great. I'm going to post it. Okay, man. He was like, why they upload old ones? I'm like, I know it looks old. Yeah. It's the same. It's the style.

I can't believe you didn't update it. They just got the guy to do. it again. It's how was it making it? That's not right. Wow. No, yeah. Anyway, check out roost your teeth on YouTube. There's nothing interesting to say about working on. Let me tell you, let me tell you.

Your response is a hell of a lot better than if you said, how was it making that new rage grid? Wouldn't have been silence. Like, I'm not really the one making them. Uh-huh. But people don't know that. Just take the credit. Yeah, just say that you're doing it.

You said it people don't need to know that. People don't know. for six months yeah yeah then Eric took over yeah yeah it was me that's why we sound the same he wishes it's like you know how bill Murray gets his brother to do his voice in like video games or whatever it's the same kind of Tom Hanks does not like Garfield right yeah yeah yeah my brother Jim in the kingdom hearts yeah yeah yeah March 3 is get his brother to do it that's what i just do that for michael and everyone goes oh my god it's Michael it works it's great we tricked him again Just find footage from YouTube and then scream over it.

Yeah. Perfect. Easily done, my friend. Sorry, I can't search it. Oh! You can do it. Search it. Search it.

I dare you. Do it, Siri. Hey Siri, text mom, I'm horny. Send text. We can find you in each. I'm definitely, I like the idea of you doing that, but your phone sends it. Yeah, right.

You just hear, fong. We're coming up on the Sonic where we had to get that double burger. The Sonic. Oh, yes. We were off the force double. Nick's sightseeing. Well, we're back to not needing to know, so he knows all. Right.

The one time I did not know, we were in an area, I did not know. That's the point. We'll take this somewhere where we know. The one fucking time we needed it is. I don't know that area. I've never been to the fucking P.O. box before. Oh, my God. Look, it led to a great adventure where we had some awesome drinks.

Those drinks were good. Yeah, Michael had three of them. Yeah, you were good. I drank them all. I was on an empty stomach, and I wasn't sure if we were eating. I had some tubey time after that. There it is. Let it settle.

There's a cliff I'll be going to drive off. There's the cliff you wanted to take us off of. There's the Popeyes. Is that where the guy got arrested, though, somewhere else? That was McDonald's. Oh, that was a cliff? It was McDonald's, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Popeyes had the coffee machine on the table in the dining room. But not that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. By table, you mean like just a right, like a customer table. Yeah, yeah, like where you would, like where you sit and eat. Yeah. Absolutely. We don't ever do.

Seven up, seven up. Seven up. We don't ever do Duncan. No. We've come close a couple of times. Yeah, but like I always. But it's never good enough to do. I always get worried that if we go to this Duncan,

they're not going to have the shit that we are looking to get. Yeah, but you feel that way about every restaurant we ever go. That's true. I'm always worried they're going to say, what the fuck are you talking about? That's why walking in there, oh, there was all kinds of signage. And Nick had opinions about it. What? Did he?

I said. Oh, you guys definitely missed it. I said something? What? He missed it too. What did he say? Tell us all. Tell us all including Nick what Nick said.

Yeah, gather around. Children was. Positively upset. We were walking in. We were making fun of Jeff, me and you. Oh, right. Yeah. And then.

I said, there it is, they have it, and there was the sign for the smash, the smash burger taco. And Nick just went, yeah, it looks good. And I went, you think it looks good? Is that an opinion or just a reflex? Yeah, it's just a reaction. I think, I think it's just con response. It's kind of like when they hit your knee with the little thing.

Yeah, what's the word for that. Right. Who knows what the word for that is? What is it? Yeah, tell me. What is it? That's why I didn't say it. Is it like, re-sponsive?

Reacting. Reacting. Maybe it can be a reflex. A reflex. No reflux. Yeah. I'll flux you. I like Nick.

You try. Nick just says something. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah. I like to see you try. Put it in the monkey ball. Yeah.

Nick just takes any word, it goes, ah, and changes it. Reflux. Reflux. No. No. How many times did you try to throw away the frozen custard and Nick went? One more one more. Just twice, I think.

Oh, two times? Two times. Well, to be fair, to be fair, I did Nick Ains. To be fair, the first time I didn't throw it away, I offered, I said, does anybody want this before I throw it away? Uh-huh. And he was like, I'll take a bite. I was like, got it. Then I went to throw it away, and he went, I'll take another one.

So I was only throwing away once. Uh-huh. But the first was the offer before throwing away. Uh-huh. I threw it away in the end. I threw it away in the end. I threw it away in the end. I did after I ate some more of it.

That custom was fucking good. That was... I would have eaten that whole thing. Man. It's in his pocket with Bruce Franklin. Yeah. screaming. Bruce Franklin.

Fucking mouse. Gracie's in freak mode. Brusilini. Their, their frozen custard is like crazy. That's good. That mouse is probably biggest shit by now. Yeah.

Probably. Oh, yeah. He's all grown up. He's all grown up. He's probably grown and died by now. He's lived his New York life. Oh, man. When Bruce Franklin dies, Grace is to be in insoluble.

Yeah, where was she ever find another rat? Yeah. Uh, day one in New York. Wow, a new pet, a rat. I've never seen this before. There'll never be another. I found one. I found many.

Yeah. Oh, just leaving trash out on the street in bags. And babies. Weird. Weird how they're everywhere in this city. Mmm, it smells like some rat babies have been here. Hey, do you guys, is like, as like a city, do you guys bother to put your trash in like a dumpster

or like a trash can or anything? Nah, it's just. No, but we both put it at the top of a, of a cellar. like stairs from the street the cellar with block like storm doors. Yeah. And then we just throw them on top. Yeah. You like that, right? That's what you do in the big

that's good. Yeah, they don't even bother with alleys or anything. It's just right on the fucking street. It's just right on the fucking street. It's just right on the fucking street. And it's not clean trash. It's always like wet ripped bags. It's always wet and ripped. Yeah. Always. It stinks. It blew me

away to see that. Where it's just, yeah, Yeah, the trash is just at the curve. It's like this, everyone walks in this city. Yeah. Everyone walks in New York everywhere. You guys are going to sound pretty silly when Zoron fixes all of it. I mean, that'd be cool. Honestly, I don't live there.

Yeah, I mean, I'm going to fly there and then I'm going to hold the sign in Times Square. This is not my mayor. I'm technically correct. Yeah, right. I'm just letting people know. I think you should hold the sign on the plane. Oh, that's good. Just put it up against the window.

Yeah. And then people will probably see it as they're looking up. And during the flight, I'll film and I'll just, I'll knock on the door for the pilots and let them know, hey, we're going to New York, that's not my mayor there. So I'll just really be forceful with the pilots. And then ask if they can leave like a jet trail, spelling that out. Yeah. Can commercial jets do that?

Is this the kind of jet that lets you skywrite? And if it's not, can you do it anyway? Yeah. Can you write not my mayor? Put it in the window of the cockpit. That way when people are shooting lasers at them to try and get them in their eyes. Yeah. They were like, what's that? Oh shit, not his mayor? Hey, would you do the skywriting or are you a lib? And then that's like that's like the ultimate gotcha. Yeah. Yeah. So now what are they supposed to do?

I either am or I do it. It doesn't matter. Even if he is. If you're a liberal, you don't want to be called a lib. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, the ultimate got you. You can be short for anything. It could be short for anything. That's right. Like con. The other way. Oh. Yeah. No, I got it. I thought. I got it. Yeah, see, because that, both sides. Both sides. Sauce monkey center is coming at you. Back, bang. I'm neutral.

Bang, bang, but what about bang, bang? I'm my own party. I'm my own party. The monkey party. It is a monkey party. Monkey party is the only party I vote for. I write in sauce monkey. I'm not helping anyone.

You're helping me. I mean, how does that help you? Makes feel good. It gets me a following? It's the same thing where he wakes about. in the night knows that the ledger's been. Somebody wrote in monkey. Somebody nudged the book.

I vote for Vermin Supreme. Oh yeah, that's right. Vice President Sauce Monkey. Vice President. No, see, I think President, I think President Sauce Monkey, Vice President Bruce Frank, Frank Bruce. Bruce.

Oh, Gracie's rat. Wow. Because then you get a local. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Really get plugged in, you know. Get that sort of like East Coast elite, you know.

Yeah. That elite rat. Nick's not all the flyover states on lock. Yeah. And then you get like the East Coast elites. Well, you're helping because you're flying over with the signs. That's right. Hello.

That's this guy writing that says, hello. Well, that's my president. He tells it like it is. He tells it like it is. And it just says hello. One of us. The polite one. Hello is crazy.

Paying for skywriting. Hello. I didn't pay for it. Is there one plumbing issues next door? I didn't pay for it. It's Air Force One. Air Force one is now the campaign has become he's already won. I thought this was the election.

I thought you were. No, this is after I went. Okay. All right, I thought we were sky riding to get your messaging out. Oh, we can know. His messaging is simply hello. Well, you know what?

I'm going to. He's already won. His messaging starts after. I'll stick with my messaging from the beginning and say hello again. Yeah, hello. Still hello. Nice to see.

you again. Continually. Hello. And then somewhat more threateningly, goodbye. Oh, shit. Yeah, if people do things. You better hope he's not saying that, like, if he says it at the end of his term, you're fine. Yeah, right. If you're sitting in the middle, he's saying goodbye to you. Yeah, but if, if everybody starts to go against me, it's going to be hello with a question mark. Is this thing on? Come again. Hello? What? You know who I know. What? Huh? It's a, I head upstairs. You're right, for this episode, boys. Why anything, Candy cane.

Nick's walking sideways backwards. Yep, it's trash. Don't turn your ass. No, he didn't. Nick almost fell. No, he didn't. The tire's still there. Well, we're watching.

Yeah, he'll be there for a while. Well, now we have to leave it there in case someone cucks in the chair. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right. Hell yeah. Did that check come through? I haven't checked the PO box.

Let me tell you, if it comes through, he ain't got to tell us. Dude, hell yeah. Did they make it out to cash? See, you, suckers. Oh, I didn't know where that hand was going. Down south. Wow.

You won. Why's the volume so well? Come on. We're going to be able to hear this. I want to be dark and quiet. Yeah, that's pretty good shape for this year. Like, for the year of this movie. Yeah.

Right. What is this? 2003? Probably something like that. Because what's he saying? I can't read. I don't speak that language and I can't read it. And I hardly speak my language.

You've caught me in a very. Chinese time. We literally just missed like the end of like the final fight. Pretty. Well, some more artwork. Paint from the Sigma. I call it smart work.

Oh. Yeah. I gave him a little paint set. Pretty good. Hey. Jordan was there too. Wow. Just like RTAA.

He doesn't do it. He had someone else paint this for him. Issa made that. Wow. That one was Chris. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Gaye wishes.

All right, now we're going to go talk about the steak burger. He stole my jacket. We'll talk about anything else. Why did he do that? Why did you do that? He stole your jacket idea. I'm Leon Kennedy. I'm Leon Kennedy.

I'm Leon Kennedy. He's jacket. All right. Well, let's take our penises out and fight. See who gets to keep wearing it. All right, hey. The winner gets both jackets. All right, ready?

Hey, we'll see you next time. Please get us out of this. I think it's over. No, you got to do the hand thing. Yeah!