100% Eat - Show Minugs - Chipotle Ride Along

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

Nick is in Graysie mode and Eric's had enough but the end brings it all together. Incredible legendary episode. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Like, just make a fucking sandwich. Like, that's why I like Subway. It sucks, but it's just like, here's our shit, put it on a sandwich. You can get it and go quick. At least they're being straight up about what it is. And I will say, Subway, it's still fucking cheap. Like, I went there the other day. I got a footlong sandwich, quote unquote.

It was like $6. Yeah. That's the song, $6 foot long. Yeah. Oh. And then I guess it for inflation. Yeah. And then I got invited across state line and touched.

Yeah. And Jared was there? Hey, by the way. Here's the Lemonade. Whoa! You got it. Thank you. Yeah, make sure you.

Yeah, leave it right there. Yeah. It was still there. It was my. Leave it right there so Nick can blame everyone. My or Michael? Okay. I mean, it was Michael.

Well, that was. What about this one? Yeah. No, this one is also my case. Oh, okay. Well, that cleared it up. Yeah. I got lemonade to celebrate the lemonade.

I just watched that episode last night, but Gracie Burger King episode. And, uh, I felt I owed it to her. Mm. Rest in peace. In her honor. Yeah. Yeah. She'll be back gray style. It's fine. Yeah. Uh-huh. Gone too soon. Or she's gone cinnamon style. They're the same thing. Now we can just re-release the cinnamon shirt and it's a grace it's real shirt. West and a queen. Yeah. That is true. Can we just put a little halo over her head? Yeah. Quick refresh. West Anna Queen 2025. Um, um, you guys. You guys.

Anyone remember any construction on the way back that we need to think about or no? Are we good? Uh, I'll let you know. I'm good. He'll let you know when he remembers. He remembers. He remembers. Well, that dog's driving that car.

Whoa! Holy shit! No, we missed it. Damn. Is that, uh, fuck, where buddy? Yeah, I remember what it was. He's back and he's doing it. Oh, shit, that's ground buddy.

Yeah, that's ground. Buddy. Oh, shit. It's real bloody. Oh, damn. He lost his flight license. Yeah. Turns out he was colored blind.

Anyway, here's this car. No, it's not color blindness that stops you from flying. It's night blindness. Oh. Like Harmon Rabb from JAG. Okay. Is that the premise of the show? That's why he becomes like a lawyer.

Oh. That's why he starts jagging? Yeah, and then he's like, I can't see shit at night. Time to jack off. I'll tell you what? But he definitely jagged off to... What was her name? Yeah, the female lead in that movie.

It was the anchor from fucking Bruce Almighty. I can't think of her name, but... I started to the C. Was it Bell? Yes. Catherine Bell? That's it. You know it. You were jagging it to Catherine Bell. Dude, another bell.

Me and Jordan jagging on. Open their hand up. The swimsuit magazines. Over their hand up. Another bell to add to the list. Careful, you're getting close to Roody territory there. Ooh. Roody Bell

Rooney Bell. Watch last week's Michael Jordan podcast. Yeah, and then watch, I hung out at the house for a while. Watch, you guys all left and all those drinks were there

that you guys took six off and I went, well, someone's gonna drink. I don't see anyone else here. I said, I played some video games for a while. Goodbye! Do you beat Soxong? Oh, yeah. I'm at like the, like, right at the end.

Damn. Well, because I'm like holding off because I was doing everything else. I have 100% completion. Wow. I just haven't beat you yet. Jesus. That's crazy.

So almost 100% completion. Yeah, percentage-wise. That's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. We could go to a new roosterty. It's like, whoa! Oh, take us there. You guys want a new street?

So when rooster T3 starts, so we're moving back into stage five. I am going to 636 or what? I think we're doing it. Oh, you don't know what they haven't told you yet? I think he doesn't understand it's kind of a hello fresh situation. Yeah. What do you mean?

We don't think he's getting the emails. Yeah. Because this guy isn't going at the green light. But maybe he's scared. Maybe he's answering email. Maybe Bernie just called him. Yeah. How did he offer him a job?

Jordan, I told you he was gonna find out. He was trying to go straight. And then he started honking out of him. He was like, fine, I'll turn. I'll turn around up here and go back. Dude, remember you when he was just to play in this park? Yeah, oh, yeah, it was, like their lunch break. The best stuff, because we would all hang out all the time together.

We were always constantly. I will say there was one time we were talking about like doing an indoor soccer team. Uh-huh. And Eric and I went to that park and we were like, let's just kick the ball around and see like, you know, how hard could it be? And I think we did like 20 minutes and we were fucking exhausted. I don't think we're going to play soccer. It was like so much running around that I thought like I was going to. to throw up and I just went, why did we think we could do this?

Yeah, that's crazy. We had a basketball team for a little while. Oh, really? Yeah, we were terrible. There were a couple of times where we went over there, me and Jordan, Richard, Blaine, Cole, and we'd hop the fence to play baseball. Yeah. Oh, nice. And there was one time, I think it was like snow. Oh, yeah, there was like frost on the chailing fence.

Yeah, that was fun. It's really hard to get into a baseball field. Like, they're never just open. No. They don't, they actually don't want you playing on baseball fields. like 35 hopping a fence to play like baseball it's fucking weird feels good right sucks is it still like hanks is opening up a pizza place here by the way oh really yeah that's what's going in that little building uh-huh are they a pizza restaurant they will be asshole when they open the pizza place they're opening it listen this is my

bernie will call you have you ever had pizza at hanks no because they haven't opened it yet also now i was thinking about saying it i was trying to be nice and now i'm going to go back Also, is it hopping a fence for Eric, or is it scaling? Other people hop a fan. And I didn't even want to say it. No, I'm going back. Now you deserve it. Hey, check this out.

Take this. You don't even know. I had the gun to your head, and you didn't even know. Loud environment. It's where to open a pizza place. A little deli's just down the street. Oh, that is true. Also, dude, it better be a good pizza place.

Yeah, no shit. It needs to be. Hanks, I can't imagine, is going to be a good pizza place, though. This guy hates Hanks. I know, right? What do they think they are making pizza? They're like not a pizza. I don't know they have pizza restaurant?

They're about to be. That's insane. That's like Waterburger going, hey, we're opening the side thing. It's pizza. It's like, is that something you already do? No, we're doing it now. It'd be, you know what? It'd be less weird than if Waterburger just started selling pizza.

That is true. Yeah, exactly. Them opening up a second restaurant to do, it makes sense. Yeah. That said, I don't see why Hanks could already just make pizza. That's also true. It's not a one. I don't know why they need- It is a restaurant. They don't need a second restaurant next door to the one.

Maybe they care that much. Wow. They're gonna invest that much in their pizza grass. It's a smaller store, so I don't think it's a like sit down and enjoy it kind of place. I assumed they were opening like an optometrist in that building. That's what I thought. Yeah, it looks like that's your optometrist. Those buildings have been done.

Pizza. Yes. Those buildings have been done for so long. Well, I think maybe they couldn't get an optometrist to move in. Yeah. They just said... They probably gave Hanks a big discount too. Oh, probably. Trying to fill it up. Okay. He was thinking. I could feel the car thing. I was thinking about if I wanted to go a long way or... Yeah. See, there was more... Go back to the old office. Yeah, yeah. Wrap this up. I thought maybe you'd want to... I thought it's just guys, there's four bros hanging out.

Just driving cars and hopping fences. Scaling? Hopping. Oh, the boys hanging out, figuring out pizza problem. What did you guys, celebrating New Year's? What did you guys think about your limited time food option that you got at Chipotle? Felt limited. The special protein bowl that I can only get right now. I don't even understand.

Don't worry, neither do I. Here's a thing. And I don't fault you for that. What I fall for you for is one second where we order. You go, anyway, it's just, I don't fucking know. Yeah, I don't. There's no answer. Jordan with soapy funneled.

He's like, you go for a spitting thing. Michael and I were like, we have a question, and you were already engaged. I was just like, oh, I guess. They locked me in. What? He could have told us earlier. I didn't know earlier. That's all I knew.

Two minutes of a stand in that line. I was just like, I know we're getting the ball. Hip shit, I didn't know until I ordered. You didn't know there neither. He didn't. What are you talking about? He didn't remember. What is he saying?

What is he saying? What are you saying? He didn't remember. How did you not know until you got up there? there's no they what are you what are you saying what are you saying oh my god he's saying you you buried the lead he did bury the lead and you talked last second about there's no lead to bury yeah the only thing i look when i found out that there was no signage or any of it is right when i was about to order okay so you didn't say that uh well why didn't you say that yeah why are you communicating

every thought. Hey, why didn't you show me the picture of the eye first? This is Gracie. This is Graysey. I'm filling in. Fuck. Yeah, you know you'll get a job. He's a fucking super billion level throck.

I didn't ask for this job. It was handed to me. It was handed to me. It's my curse. He pulled the fidget to him from the stone chart. I didn't want it. He's the only one who could lift it. He got it.

Yeah, you got it. Dude, we were talking about how none of this food made sense yesterday. Yeah. Like, it's just, it's like, oh, it's the Chipotle protein bowl. It's like, okay, what does that mean? Isn't that just what they do? That's what they do all it. And hey, it turns out, yes.

Yeah. Yeah, it is. That also led into me deciding I want to run for president. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. It was that same conversation. Oh, yeah, yeah. You could do it.

You could do it. Yeah. You're going to, what? You see your name on a bunch of shit. Eat JD Vans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We tossed ideas around. We were talking about the Chipolei menu. And then you were like, Jordan, you were like, they say protein. Usually they say meat. Like it's just like protein. And I think that's when Nick started talking about the quok.

Yeah, the quack. And I was like, did you know? I was like, maybe it's just a bowl of cheese. Maybe it's a whole bowl of cheese. A whole bowl of cheese. And then I was like, and you know what? This fucking pisses me off about the food industries. They're fucking cowards.

And no one ever does more than two times cheese. We're like five times cheese. Yeah. And I don't. Nothing but cheese. And I don't mean like a five cheese pizza, because it's like, not five different. It's like extra cheese, but it's not five like amounts of cheese. It's just five different.

No, I want five times the goddamn mozzarella cheese. Yep. And then I put my 2028 platform and then Eric was like, I'd vote for you. Yeah. What do you say? I'm a single issue voter. That issue, that's my issue. And it's my cheese. My cheese issue.

Then I said I could beat JD Vance. Then I said I think I could beat J.D. Vance. And then Jordan was like, honestly, I think you could eat them too. This is good. And I think we can team up because I'm just down to be, like, put my name on, like. Yeah, dude. If I get elected, you'll have to be in the cabinet somehow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Definitely not important what it is. Secretary of Statue naming. Right. Whatever it is. You can be Secretary of Education. Can't be that hard. Sounds easy. I'll put your name on so much shit.

Yeah. As president. Yeah. And this will be part of my. my platform, too, that I'll tell the voters, all my friends, I'm gonna pardon the shit out of my. Shit comes up. You're just letting you know right the front.

I'm writing pardons in fucking January 1st that expire in four years. Hang on to it. It's like, you get out of jail, I'm free. You just keep it in your car. You keep it in your car. Keeping the glove box. Let's into registration. I'll do you want better.

Yeah. Actually, give me your badge and gun. I'm the car. Sir, this is the pardon. No, no, I have, hang on. I have another slip in here. And you get on the ground. Oh, dude.

You get on the ground. Yeah, dude. Is that what that one guy trying to do to that cop? I'm gonna do like a Nixon and I can deputize you, like Elvis? Oh, wow. And you could just start like pulling people over and shit. Yeah. Why not?

Yeah, this is good. So this is why I think I should be the next president of the United States. I said I'm, uh, what did I say? Oh, I'm white. I'm under 80. Yeah. And I'm great at public speaking as long as you don't listen to what I'm saying. Yep.

I said I just wanted to put my name on the 9-11 Memorial. Yeah. I think that that's, it's just, where else you're going to put it? Yeah, where else? I think, I think, why are we remembering you though? Yeah. Well, you know, just, did you go somewhere? Well, we're going to put his name on it, but it's just going to say Eric was here.

Yeah. Okay, okay. Really, we should put Grace. We should put Gracie on it. Oh, 9-11 at Mingus Memorial? So that we don't forget about Gracie. And also, Gracie will walk by and be like, oh. No, that's, that's, we are going to put Gracie on it.

We are going to put Gracie on it. Yes, that's for me. Yeah. But it's going to be Gracie, it's going to be a statue of Gracie. Yeah. Sitting on top. What would the pose be? I mean, it would have to be like the classic.

Well, it'd be that, but sad. Yeah. What do you call this emoji? What? The I love you. It's the I love you something. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm doing that, but sad. Stupid name. Stupid name. Yeah, I like calling it finger blasters. Oh, whoa. Nick likes it too. Yeah, we're good. You ever try this one?

Nick's ready. Blast off. Dude, I looked at one of the episode titles you named the other day. Yeah. God, what was it? It was like something about toes. Oh, no. It's tober?

Oh, yeah. It was like feet something and then tow voter. Yeah, yeah. Toverload? Yeah, it was like, what the boat? Yeah, it was like your toverloaded or something. It was something. I went, what the fuck?

It's something Nick said, I think, in the episode. I think Jeremy said it. Oh, yeah. I think Jeremy said it. I'm pretty sure Alfredo told me that Matt said that Jeremy said it. I broke a bunch of these branches. Oh, smart. So it waxed in the face.

So smart. Thank you. Now you and I can get out of the car. I do like one every time I pass. Well, this is in. Well, that's it for the ride-along. We're in the garage. That must mean the end.

We don't actually. We need to show the food this time. It's true. But I was nervous. I still feel like we should walk inside, you know, like we do every single time. That's not what I heard. That's not what I heard. Are you sure?

Yep. Oh. Show this. We didn't have RTX that year. What you get? Oh, a monitor? I got this from... This is from Paco.

He said, I hope you have or had a nice close to the year wishing you 100% eat a good and tasty 2026. Are we getting treats? He sent me. Aw. That's not tasty at all. How are your sunglasses like that? I know what I do.

It's pretty impressive. Is that a hat? Is he wearing a hat? He's just got a large forehead. It's this part. It looks like he's on. It looks like it. Oh, there go to go to the glasses.

You had to fucking call him out. Why did you ask? God. Now they're broken. Why? Fucking why Bernie won't call. We're going to have to give him a big red. again oh man he he left so quickly I don't know finding out we forgot to go give him his

poncho I know I know I didn't forget I just continually did like didn't do it yeah and then it was too late when we go to visit Gracie so Lindsay sent us gifts no way four shirts that's they show wait show him the nugs is it spelled wrong yes Yeah! That's awesome. That is awesome. And I wonder if they spelled it wrong or Lindsay spelled it wrong.

Shomonas! Hey, hey, show a nugs. Oh, my God. He's like turning red. This is the only show where this truly is better. Oh, it's awesome. It's awesome.

Shomenugs. Well, because we have to make the showminga shirt. Then you never know. If we do make a Shominga shirt, maybe you get one of the four original Shomenugs. You're not getting mine. Yeah, I'll let them know. Oh, my God. Jordan wants to hide.

Oh, God. Didn't got the little ball prints. I know. I didn't even really clocking it first. It just seemed right. Oh, I didn't clock it either. I'm going to rewind. I think I'm going to rewind it a million times to Nick going,

Showman. I go, is it spelled wrong? Yes. It's incredible. Oh, boy, I'm glad I opened this before we stopped filming. Yeah. Holy shit. Well, did we like Chipotle?

Find out in the episode that already came out. We're going to go record it now. See you next time. Bye.