100% Eat - Sloppy SLOP & the EMPTY Pie %% KFC Matty's Cheesy Nuggy Gravy Bowl

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

CHICKENLESS KFC?!?! This slop bowl hardly stays together and it's kind of like the IDEA of poutine? These Chick'n Pigs are gettin after it. Toothy can't stop Our Heroes. FOOD COURT Wednesday the 25th! Send in your Food Court crimes NOW and join the discord at Patreon.com/100percenteat New year, new merch (for you) https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100% eat. The show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. Probably do. Question mark. I'm your host, Michael Jones. My co- is Jordan. How are you? I'm feeling quite good today on this day. Why the fuck are you feeling good?

Why wouldn't I be feeling good? It's a good day. It's a great day. Oh, wait. I just remember. It's pretty un-American what you're saying. Oh, I thought you were talking about the KFC we ate. That's also might be un-American.

Kentucky, you're out of here. He turned it into like a muffler. That's a hard part. I'm the car outside. He's been making all kinds of face noises today. Yeah. Face noise. Okay.

Yeah. Getting over, getting sick. I'm a car. He was fucking munching. I mean, munching. Mawing? I don't know. Trying to think of a good word for what you were doing and what the food is.

He was maw in his way. Globbing? Were you globing? I don't know. Wasn't globbing. It's too dry. a glob. It was pretty dry. It was, he was just like, he was funneling

and he was just chomping and he's just going, I, it has been the whole, I was like, wow, you're really breathing through your nose over there. It's like, the whole last two weeks and like being sick, getting over it and then going, never mind. This will help.

That's, well, don't worry, there's none in that. Okay. Hey, what do we eat today? Chicken pot pie for the soul. Dude. So, so we got Maddie's cheesy nuggy gravy bowl. Eric had some trouble saying that. There's no one Eric called. That's not what he was saying.

Stuff. He kept messing up the word nuggy. We also got a little pot pie. So it was like, why anything else? We did get the cheese. We're gonna pop pie. I'm gonna show it off. You said, and cheese cards. Thank you, Iris. Thank you.

Thank you for correcting us again. That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's that. It's that. No, and no. Meethings 271 days. his father. So,

uh, Hey, three more. Bliss. We got the pot pie. I'm like, oh, I'll get a pop pie.

Now I ate a little bit of the filling. Nick also ate a little, a little bit. Okay. But I'm telling you, imagine 10, 20% of the filling is what we ate.

This is how it looks when you, this is how it's empty it is? I took pictures. Nick, and also, as you're taking the pictures, this guy's sucking it off.

Oh. He was like, wow, that looks good. Oh, look at the top of hour. And I literally went, do you fucking work there? That literally is like, where are you? Where the fuck's the danger?

As soon, and then he screamed that as soon as he opened it. Dude, just like a cave. Like, like, alien versus predators. Like, you felt falling into the core of the earth or whatever. And there's monsters fucking down there. And there's gay sex during the Super Bowl halftime show. Those two men looked at each other. You're not supposed to, don't.

I'm looking over this way. So that way, that's him. I'm looking at you. You're looking at him. He's looking at me. I'm being drawn to it. No! I can see the longing in their eyes.

The sexual tension. Nick just kept going, where's the chicken? Where's the chicken? And then he stormed off about it. I investigated, straight up, they didn't put any chicken in it.

There's no chicken in it. I ate like five or six bites just to poke around. I'm like, surely, these are all little mashed potato lumps. So, every guy, why did the guy who hand made this?

They forgot the fucking chicken. Why did the guy who hand made this and make this at the restaurant? He kept saying coming right up. Yeah. Hold on. Let me put it in the oven. That's why it was ready so fast.

Every bite that Michael took, we were all kind of scattered around the house. Jordan was eating popcorn downstairs because he was so mad about the food. We were all scattered around the house and we could just hear Michael. Nope, no chicken in that bite. And then a few minutes later. Still no chicken. I kept, I was like, surely it's just like they skimped on chicken. Yeah.

And I was, I was. I was expecting a piece. No chicken in the chicken pop pie. Because then I went, okay, is it like a veggie pot? It's like, and then nope. There's one. I looked it up. There's one pot pie.

It's chicken pop pie. There's chicken in it. Hey, there's two. The chicken is implied by the name of the restaurant. We got this one. That's pretty cool. Holly could almost eat that then, right? Maybe.

Dude, let her finish it. Yeah, she can have it. Fucking treat her, dude. I mean, you can finally take something home like Nick style. Just because she can't eat. It doesn't mean she's going to want to. Yeah, she's going to want to. You don't want to say, say, hey, look, I know what you're thinking.

First of all, don't worry, there's no chicken. Second of all, yes, it is from KFC. It is from KFC. And to answer your question, Michael and Nick did root around you. And they wanted you to have it. What do you mean it's going in the trash? Come back. Don't worry, two guys on our podcast rooted around like truffle pigs trying to find a piece of chicken in this pot pie.

They were making sure. He didn't root around nearly as hard as I. They were chicken pigs. He did a glance to repast. He like stab, stab and stormed off downstairs. I came up and looked at it and there was just the hole in it. And it hadn't been eaten yet. No, it hadn't.

It's crazy. One, like mostly empty. But also just looking at it, go, where's the chicken? Like you can tell there's nothing in it. That's why we said. For sure, there was just a couple pieces in the body. That's why we sent the chicken pigs at it. Yeah.

Yeah. Growing up, there was a restaurant not too far from my house called Michael's chicken pig. Why am I just hearing about this? I never thought of what I knew about it. I also like when you said, sent the chicken bins, and he went, yeah. Yeah. What? What? Yeah. Michael's chicken pig.

So you could have chicken and pig there? So that's, yeah, it was like, it was that, but nobody. Was it a turduckin situation? Nobody ever ate there. We'll never know because nobody ever ate there. So is this, well, whoa. You're telling me Rocco Bodie never ate at the chicken pig. I don't think he had, I'll text them.

Well, hang on. You guys keep missing a key part. It's Michael's chicken pig. That's true. Is there Michaels too? Yep. You're eating the Michaels and the chickens and the pig. Oh, that's a good question.

Or the chicken and the pigs all named Michael. I think it's Michael's chicken pig recipe. Yeah. I'm just saying, depending on how you infer that, do you think it's still open? You need Michael, chicken, and pig to make that. Okay, so it was a place called Michael's chicken pig. It was next to another place called Al's Sports Shop in like a strip mall.

That's a way more normal name. It was. Then like a business. You got Michael and Al's. I don't know who Michael was. I'm going to Al's sports shop. Michael's chicken pig. Apparently Michael's chicken pig was a little underwater.

and somebody tried to set fire to the Michael's chicken pig, maybe potentially. He sounded like it was him. Allegedly for insurance money, but the problem was Michael's chicken pig didn't burn down, but I'll sports shop. Oh, no. Why does this sound like the plot of an episode from The Sopranos?

It does, doesn't it? My cousin on a business, he burned down for insurance. Michael's chicken pig? And he needed after you? Did he get away with it? No, he didn't. First cousin, too. Wow, really?

First cousin, not like a distant relative. I think it's hard. A Jones or? Okay. I think it's hard to burn something down for insurance money. Insurance companies desperately don't want to pay you. And so they're going to do everything in your power to like not pay you. Yeah. They made it into a science of like where they can like source the start of a fire.

I mean, it's really hard to make it look like an accident. He knows. That was, that was. Trust me. That was loud and confident. It was to be fair, on the Jones. just. Oh.

Sister. Sisters, a different last name. You're right. But still, still that. I forgot that was a possibility. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm just immediately shut down the name. Ants existed. But it is an aunt, yeah. Wow. Got to, I don't think I have anything

that I want to try to set on fire for insurance money. Well, this business isn't family. This house. Give it time. Yeah. Well, that's what.

When times is tough. Yep. Oops, start a fire. I think a guy left a comment on one the YouTube videos on like the episode and was like, wow, I don't know how this podcast is surviving. Not a lot

of views on this video. I wonder how much, wonder how much longer they have left. Oh man. Using the official account. I'd be worried, dude, if I was looking at the YouTube views. Yeah. Holy shit. I think I used the official account and replied hopefully not too much longer.

I think. Well, that's just a really funny, like, that's such a classic thing. It was like, only judging by this one metric. Which is also not the main thing. Yeah, exactly. It's not, it's not even, it's not anything. To say it's there because it's there. Essentially, it's nothing.

To say it's not even close numbers wise. To say it's not even close numbers wise. There were some people not too long ago. It wouldn't change the health of the business in any way, shape, reform. People would just have one less place to watch it. Absolutely. Exactly. People were going like, how come some of these episodes, like your original

episodes on aren't, they're not on YouTube. Because we didn't post them on YouTube. Do you remember why we didn't post them on YouTube? Oh, yeah. They wouldn't. We didn't have a YouTube channel. They wouldn't let us have a YouTube channel. Yeah.

They were like, no. Why do you need a YouTube channel? That was the strategy. Hey, we're going to cast the guys, top of funnel. We got to make sure everyone sees this. You got to cast the white as nice. Hey, should we put this on YouTube? Hey, you little stupid bitch.

It was, are you stupid? You can't have a YouTube channel. And also, cool. cool idea. You shot a pilot we're green lighting the show. Don't make it. Right.

For months. Hey, so are you guys selling ads against this? If you are making it... What? What? Well, no. First, if you are making it, okay, here's the ads.

Oh, you've been making it for months and doing ads? What? Yeah. Huh? Oh, those don't count. They didn't count. They didn't count.

Although we didn't have a YouTube channel and they didn't count. But he did start the Instagram that he made. If you remember. every week every week just a guy who didn't listen

just like what are you talking about the conversation the conversation the bra the gotcha in this in this one meeting

I remember where the guy who was accusing Eric of starting a Instagram who we worked with the gotcha that he had was like

how does he get the pictures then yeah I remember that we post someone because we post him on Twitter then he takes him and he posts

and he uploads him Yeah, a fan just, I was a fan made Instagram. It just started an Instagram and was just, was just posting for Face Jam. And yeah, someone in the company was just like, well, you did that. And you're like, no, I didn't. That's a fan account.

At that level, it's like, oh, that's where you go, oh, I didn't know that. Exactly. But just didn't believe you. But also, not like didn't believe you and we're going to get to the bottom of this right now. It's like, I don't believe you. Anyway, we're going to end this conversation

and I'm going to bring it up again next time. And it's just, oh, it was like, that's you. Also, I think if he was a guy, who would have just simply said, oh yeah, I didn't know that a few times. It probably would have been way better for him.

Yeah. Just, just a half a dozen times. I don't know. Brings up a good point. How did that guy get these pictures? Hot. So anyway,

it's not like we're posting these online. Riddle me this. Now you're a cooking show, right? Yeah. Oh, fuck. How do you do these pictures? What fruit are you making this week? When is the show starting?

Last year, you cook me next sandwich. Anyway, I'm in charge of this. We were cooking. So you report to me. So anyway, we're going to go to a convention and we're going to stand up and be like, guys, we make podcasts. Oh, you do? I like it because it makes me upset, but that's the one that really gets me.

And I like it because it makes you upset. That's why I like it too. And I also just didn't go to any of those meetings. Brueel. He was meeting, man. He was. He had to go to every meeting ever, dude. You really learn that everyone has to have a meeting

so they don't have to do any of the work. And then they think that the meeting is the work. Yes, and then they think that people who don't come to meetings aren't working. This guy. COVID really... He's just never really fried the brain of an entire company where it was like, well, if we don't have the meeting, then how does this get done?

I don't know, maybe it got done the first 15 years a lot easier, don't you think? Yeah, without the meeting. No, let me have it. Let's set a meeting about this. With the doing instead of the meeting. It was brutal there, but not as brutal as maybe what we had today at KFC. You guys eat KFC a lot? Not really.

Only on this show. I used to do as a young inn, but... Yeah, it's true. I think we talk about this every time we do. Well, it's not only... Not only... It's like, ate a lot as a kid. KFC probably fell off a little bit, but also we grew up.

Yeah. And it just probably always sucked more than we think it did. But on top of that, why the free? Fuck would I go to KFC when I live in Austin. Yeah! Exactly. There's like a million really good chicken places that I know. That's not a gamble.

And it's still not really cheap either. Like granted, that good chicken places are a little bit expensive here. This Popeye. This ain't cheap. This Popeye costs $7. This ain't no subway money. For no chicken.

Dude, literally no chicken. $7. And it's not even $7 for filling because it's not full. I can't even call it filling. No. You're paying for that good crisp on the outside, I guess. Which he was screaming about it. Hey, you with your eyes first.

Right. But also, we had just eaten with our eyes and then our mouths on the actual food. And I couldn't believe how much like it was how much. The benefit of the doubt was outrageous. The benefit of the doubt was outrageous. He's like, hang on guys. Maybe everything was wrong. I was being positive.

Why? Why were you being positive after what we just experienced? There's no need. This guy comes in and he just like shoots your kid and you're like, no. He's like, I'll shoot the other one. He might not. He doesn't stop this one yet. Because it's going to be different.

They're different now. Watching him realize what he was getting into step by step with this thing. He was just totally unwarranted his optimism. And it was mid like, what the fuck? Just immediately crumbled. Yeah. And then it was outrage.

And then he stormed off. He was just like, fuck this and just walked away from it. He looked at it and he's like, oh, this looks good. And then he started scraping it with the fork and going, ooh, flaky. Like a crust. And then he's like digging at it with the fork. And the crust comes off and he's like,

oh, this stuff. Where is it? And then digging around and going, there's nothing in here. And then he keeps going. And then Michael's going, peel the top away. What are you doing? Like just get the whole top.

There's just like a little. There's like craters. And I'm sitting across and I'm peeking through it. And he's like, take a picture of this. Take a picture of this. There's just nothing. The top's on, it's fucking empty. It's empty.

It's like a third full of filling. No chicken. Crazy. Crazy. Anyway, KFC really killed it today. It's really, it's a confusing restaurant because I think that if you were to ask your parents about KFC, they would have like stronger positive feelings. Oh, KFC and Pizza Hut. They're so good.

Yeah. They're good, good, good. Yeah. Because that was owned by the same company. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Fucking tell, man. We'll learn more about that in the facts.

But it's a... Let's learn it right now. The 90s. I was going to start with a third fact. Here we go. Oh. It's the 90s, man. That was the...

Yeah, you saw that commercial too? The Duncan... Was it the Duncan one? Goodwill Duncan or something? Just de-aging people. There was so many de-aging commercials. It was crazy. I did like the Jurassic Park one.

They looked like shit. Because they're just like the Instagram. Oh, oh, when fucking Jeff Golden goes, he's like, it's a lot of shrimp. That's a lot of shrimp. Sorry, confused with God's out. was the one part or I went, I forget it. That line was pretty good. I liked,

some of the de-aging was a little rough. The dinosaurs, the O-G dinosaurs looked better than they did. I just liked him having Instagram and seeing all the hearts. Yeah. In Jurassic Park. Crazy. That tickled me. I hated the game and the halftime show though. Yeah. You watched the wrong one.

Yeah. I watched both. Nice. I mean, I jumped over. No, I turned to, I turned. I turned the real one on it like 7.30. and then I turned it off at about 7.30 and 10 seconds. Also, that Brant, Brantley Gilbert was on or something. And I went, that's this guy's AI. Yeah.

Gilbert. Yeah. That's like the guy's name. Yeah. The Kid Rock one apparently went over the time of halftime. Yeah. Yeah. So like it was longer than actual halftime.

So like you were watching that instead of the game at that point. Yep. Which I guess they would be fine with. They actually don't care. I mean, you didn't miss much watching the game. They don't care about the game or the kid rock show. They cared about one thing and one thing only. Manufacturing outrage.

However, however, however, however, what they still managed to pull off expertly and not try to hide in any way, shape, or form, even though they put on this alternative halftime show, talked about it, talked about it, still just told the whole world they definitely did watch the Super Bowl half time show, though, because everyone's complaining about it. Everyone who was outraged by him doing it and now we're putting on this other show,

still fucking watched it, including Trump. It's like, you all watched it anyway! That's it. But great halftime show, by the way. Yeah, yeah, it's fantastic. Ricky Martin, crazy. But nobody has the idea with this guy's saying. Like, what a thing to say?

Coming from that man who speaks English and you don't know what the fuck he's saying. We were talking about it earlier. But it's like you're talking about a man speaking Spanish in America. Nobody knows what he's. saying. No one understands this. He could be saying anything. No one understands

this guy. Bad Bunny a lot of people probably. Bad Bunny did a better job of communicating ideas. My whole household understood it. In a half-time show where he spoke Spanish a language I don't completely understand. I feel like I understood a lot of things he was saying more than I've understood

anything Donald Trump has ever said. Speaking English. You should ball with a ball. And Kid Rock. That's true. And Anthony Ketus. And then, but also like They're saying they lip sync that too. Yeah. You think Kid Rock was off on the track.

He's not going to sing. You're crazy. But they already recorded it. Yeah. So do you need both? Yeah. You're going to pre-record it a week ago and lip sync for fuck's sake. Just do it again.

Can we get another take? How about this? Get grifted. Yeah. Whoa. The end. Hey, do you guys want to learn about Kansas? Candice Owens was shitting on it.

Yeah. I mean like, because you know, she got the conspiracy. Yeah. No, yeah. Oh, big beef. Yeah. She got the conspiracy. Yeah.

She called it a scam or something. She wanted to be married to that guy instead. Yep. Vance? There's still time. Yeah! Well, not long. Is he dying?

No, just nothing. Why is there not long time? Yeah, explain it, Nick. He's working an ankle. He's working an ankle. He's working an angle. Mm-hmm. Nothing.

Our last KFC episode was on February 18th, 2025. It was almost a year ago. We ate Mike's Hot Honey Chicken. We didn't do Mike's chicken pig. They received an average rating of 30. Well, the streak continues. Do you guys remember the hot honey? I like how it's always somebody something.

Yep. Today was Maddie's Nuggies. Last year it was really just the year of hot honey. Yep. Yeah. Overdone. It's carrying over as McDonald's is doing a hot honey. Yeah, I had it already.

Yeah, me too. No. Oh. Well, they don't have good chicken. So it's like, the hot honey is fine. It's hot honey. But it's not, it's just on their chicken sandwich, which why the fuck do you get the chicken sandwich on McDonald's?

You're not a breakfast sandwich too, isn't it? I think you can get it on one of the breakfast sandwiches. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, hot honey I'm okay with, but I feel like you guys, it should still come out with a new thing. Yep, like this new chicken and hot honey. Yeah.

It's just like this old shit, you know. You never order? You know this chicken you never fucking order ever? How about hot honey on it? Which is weird that we did it 10 plus years ago with hot honey. And then it's just like, we'll do it again with hot honey. And it's like, we did hot. This is Mike's hot honey.

It makes all the difference in the world. A single sauce doesn't sell a goddamn thing. Uh-uh. Like you need the thing and then you put the sauce on the thing. The sauce comes as options. Or you could go to the place to get the sauce and not get the sauce. Uh-huh. That's true too.

You can go get the... Fun. You can also go get the chicken pot pie and not get the chicken. Exactly. Why are these fast food restaurants failing? Who knows? I don't know. I don't know.

Make us a CEO because apparently they can't figure it out. One word. Español. That's why it's failing. That means Spanish. Oh, got it. Called the cheesy melty burger. KFC UK is launching a chicken sandwich,

which they call a burger that is set to rival McDonald's, which they call Mackie's, new Philly cheese stack, which they call a burger. burger. What a mess. We get why Ireland left British rule. Oh, there were other reasons. It wasn't because Mackie's burgers? We don't have time to get into troubles right now.

So we have to assume it's Mackie's Burgers actually. Sorry. You guys like Mackie's Burgies? Is that what that famine was about? They were withholding the Mackey's burghers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what it was. Well, they called the burgers. They called the burgers they were chicken sandwiches. And they just really wanted the fries. Yeah, uh-huh, yeah, it's all fucked up.

Mackie's is stupid. Maccas is cool. Yeah. Yeah, Mackeys is dumb. Mackeys is dumb. Mackeys is dumb. Calling a chicken sandwich a burger is dumb. Calling a chicken sandwich

a burger is fucking crazy. A cheese milkie burger. A chicken sandwich. They call a burger. Yeah. It rivals the Philly cheese stack. Uh-huh. Which is a burger.

Yes. Which is a stack. Uh-huh. And they call it Mackey's. Yeah. Right. But also, how is it rivaling the burger? I don't know.

If one's chicken and one's a burger. I have no. Why did they call that out specifically? I don't understand. How is it right? How is it would be chicken sandwich? That is how it's being positioned. Yeah, exactly.

Wouldn't it rival McDonald's chicken? Yeah. I don't understand. Just, I mean, does it rival it just because they're both called burgers? But one is chicken? I guess so. That's like getting a dog. You need to fucking no, asshole.

You wrote it. It is, I'm asking. It's like getting a dog. It's like getting a dog and then going, Who the fuck is Maddie? It's like, hey, got this dog. Check out this car. And it's like, these aren't comparable.

Right. I have this. Oh, I call my dog a car. I have this, I got this new dog. It's going to rival old cars. This is a burger. Why? What?

Can we ride the dog? No, damn it. No, they're incomparable in every way. Oh, man. But dogs are cars now. Yeah, don't be stupid. You got to take the gas pump out of the dog's ass. Yeah.

It's not comparable. Turns out. No deal. Fill her up. KFC Singapore announced a new flavor coming to menus. Ccap. I don't know. That's what it's called.

With a K. Cap manis, the flavor inspired by the sweet soy sauce that often finds its way onto everything from saute to nasi gourang will be available during Ramadan. I know that word. In store and in bottle for on the go snacking. So if one little sauce monkey is good all Ramadan long, maybe in chala. He will receive a deliol. He will receive a delish treat Under the Crescent Moon

Ramadan Mubarak Sauce Monkey Rush Ashana Can you make it to Eid? Yeah Ramadan Mubarak sauce monkey Inshallah We'll sleep

What I'm saying This is gonna be good We're gonna get a lot of really good fan art off this Where's that Fez? Yeah Put it back on

sew it to his head again It is there are so many KFCs worldwide doing stuff that they don't do here. It's crazy. I do like hearing about this stuff. Like the stuff that McDonald's do on like other continents and stuff. Is there a large Muslim population in Singapore that they need to do this? Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's like huge.

I feel like McDonald's though. It pisses me off because like it's always like Indonesia is the big Muslim population. Okay. McDonald's. It's like always new shit. and it's always so close. It's like Canada or UK and we don't get it and I feel like

it's like actually different shit and I feel like we don't get it because they don't have to because we're just fat fucks that shovel it in anyway and we gotta give you shit. Look at what we ate today! I know, that's what I'm saying.

Like UK, it's like they're not gonna eat any shit we have to make something. Americans, fuck those fat fucks. Also I never hear about eat this fatty and I go Michael pig.

I'm the chicken pig. I'm Michael's chicken pig. He's Michael's. He's Michael's chicken pig. That's Michael's chicken pig. He's all of our chicken pig That's Michael I don't hear about other

Like fast food restaurants Like McDonald's doing like You know a celebrity meal Uh huh For like a very specific UK Celebrity or something Like why does that work over here? Because we're fucking gluttons

We're idiots and we're gluttons Because they're gonna eat it anyway And you just put like It's the soidi meal So it's fine You know what I mean? Like all right cool, whatever I love anyone from another country that's like coming to America for the first time.

Not just the food, but the drinks. They'll just be like, here's a water. Anything. Why is it so big? Yeah. And it's like, it really settles in like, oh, just we do that? Yep. Yeah.

You're like, stop! Why is that soda so big? Well, it's that, it's the soda refills too. Like, they don't, they don't have soda refills. I don't need that much soda. Yeah. I don't know who's been asking for that much soda. Yeah.

Here's the thing. I don't need that much soda either, but I want the soda option. Yeah. I want to get a refill and just dump it out. I want to waste the money. I'm walking out of the restaurant with drags and I go, fill it up. Fill it up. I want a lot to drink and I want it now.

Or I don't want it at all. Are you Dracula? Yeah. Classic Dracula. He's always drinking. Looking to continue growth in the chain, Yum Brands is using a Taco Bellification mode to help KFC retain same store customers the way Taco Bell does.

The model includes differing price. on meal sizes, varying drink options, and more limited time offerings. Like what we're eating today. Yum Brands also owns Pizza Hut, and their play for them is called Leave It in a Ditch, where they leave pizzas in a ditch, and they help either rats or the Ninja Turtles eat it, because people won't. So why is this brand in their portfolio? Turtle Power.

Go Ninja, go Ninja, go. Go, Ninja, go. I don't know. It's very. You don't. Thank you for admitting it. That Yumbrain. Got that. You got that?

We got that. Insula. Get him. He doesn't know how that guy got the photos. That's right. Fuck, he's on to me. And I've been doing it in secret for some reason. And going through all these meetings, pissing myself off.

By telling you, no, it's not me. It's not me. It's you. We know it's you. Finally. You asked me 100th time. I remember every time you'd end the meeting, he'd be like, don't leave town. Yeah.

Young Brands owns Taco Bell. Is there some sort of legal suit we could file against them for using the word yum involving? I would hope so. I would hope so. It's not like it stands or anything. Right. Can we like force them to rebrand like scum brand or something? Scum brands is pretty good.

They don't talk about it and they seem to have that figured out. So doing the same to KFC makes sense, but nothing that they're offering at KFC at all. I heard the next thing that they're doing is Koso. What? they're gonna fuck it up for wait where they're gonna KFC it up that's not gonna be good at all with what their wedges have you tried their cheese skirts Nick's mad at me yeah why would you tell you that again this is the guy raising that flaky crust it looked good okay so reverting to what you said in your own words why wouldn't you give them the benefit

of doubt with the queso it could be good because that that that that that that turn that sealed one was enough that full him once. Yeah. I see. Right. Exactly. All right.

That's the same. As long as you've come up with logic, I just want to hear you explain it to me. I don't have to agree with it or believe it. But I do like to let you go. Full him two times. You can't pull him again. Fuck you.

You had your shot. You had your fucking shot, old man. The flakes went everywhere. The flakes did go everywhere. The flakes hit the TV. So what I've done is I guaranteed we're going to. need that new vacuum. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah. I mean, you had already sold me on the new vacuum. Yeah, the new dyson. Oh, I did. Yeah. I was pointless. I said we were gonna get a new

vacuum. I wanted to really make sure. Okay, he keeps saying dicing. I'm not opposed to it. We don't need a dice. I'm not going to spend $500. Let's get the most expensive one. 800. For the best. I did mention vacuum before you got any agents. Dyson. Dyson. It's good shit. We're not paying for it. It's free. Pull it for barrack. It's fine. But you're going to have to talk to your wife about it. Just make sure you can spend the money. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You guys can spend the money for him. Yeah, I'll say, yeah, so it can have the dice and he won't use. Right. Well, Michael, they'll use it. I'll use it. Which is why, you know, I said it. So if Young Brands is trying to Taco Bell, oh, that thing exploded. It looks, it looks about the same.

It looks that different. No, it's about the same. Boys, we'd be coded. Yeah. About the same. That was the last fact, right? Yeah. No, there's one more.

No, there's one more. But it's okay. That was a real finale move. Yep. And yet, here we are. That was a penultimate move. I'm finished with you. Oh, it's gonna be one of those

like the penultimate episode's awesome. You're like, finale's got to be great. Oh, it sucked. This fact is just gonna, it's gonna set up next. Bro. Don't make,

don't make it so much better than the finale episode. That's always disappointing. I hate that shit. Well, that used to be a thing where it's like the finale was always the big one. And then I feel like

prestige TV was kind of like, okay, now we need to like, I don't know, they change. We need to trick them into watching the last one, but the last one doesn't have to be good. So the second the last one has to be good to trick you into watching it. Once you're here, it sucks.

We don't care. At some point, they changed the formula for some reason. Like KFC. You could do this with the first episode of the next season. Have you considered? No. Okay. Last fact. Last fact, last year, KFC started saucy,

a sub-concept brand that focuses on their sauce lineup by offering smaller bite foods meant for dipping. The three locations, all opened in Orlando, has things like chicken tenders, fries, and puffies. You can order three puffies, one sauce, which is a take on a very popular viral internet video that Nick is watching right now on his second monitor. But when he yells, no, it's because he's really watching it on his phone.

Why would you name your food that, KFC? You want to attract freaky sauce monkeys on dirty bikes, disgusting but intriguing. Look out for saucy's nice. next offering, toes. I also was really waiting for a puff puff. I was waiting for a puff. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy?

It's crazy. Took you, took you left? You zigged and then zagged, baby. No, you didn't zig and zagged and then it just never zagged back. Exactly, baby. What happened was we were in the, we were in the penultimate. He built me up and then they just ended up. I was really hoping for a puff puff puff. True detective.

A Brian Garpuff puff puff. Well, that's every season after the first one. That's not episodes. True detective. What's a puppy? They're making another one, aren't? It's like a bignet looking thing. That is just like the thing that they're, like breaded puff pastry with chicken in it?

No. No. You just dip it. It's a sweet one that you dip in a sweet sauce like chocolate sauce, which is the one they offer with three puffs one sauce. Oh, I like that. Give a shot. Why not? We go to Disney.

Also, I don't want to do that. You have to do that. You have to do that. Cic's. Somebody did say Cici's. I'm still hungry. Let's go. It was you.

And you've activated his trap card. C.C.'s defense. Nick said that he wants to go to C C Cs because he's still hungry. Nick wants to go to C C C Cs because he always wants to go to C C C C C C Cs. No, you do with he's hungry or not? Nope. Would you settle for Gatties?

Yeah. Okay. Would he settle for the sad Gatties that sits in between like 290 and 183? That looks like nobody goes to that Gatties and like it might be a front? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course. The way you look at. Well, no, we should go to the buffet one.

up off of 35. So he just wants to go to C-C's. No, I want to go to Gettys. When you said, yeah, you meant no. Yeah, right. Because then you went, well, no, actually. Yeah, I would go. But let's not.

But we could go get buffet instead. I'm saying yes to what you're saying, but also going, let's, we go somewhere else. All right. Yes, I would settle, but. I don't want to. Yes, but no and. I'm going to wheezel out of this.

As we said, he's in for it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. New fifth member. You talked about still being hungry. Jordan immediately went down stairs and eating, like starting popcorn. Did you do smart pop?

Yeah. Is it smart pop? The smart food like white cheddar popcorn? Yeah. Yeah. Just we got all those snacks down there. The food. Just not worth it. I'd barely ate the food.

So like, hey, there was barely food in there. Yeah. Let's read this and we can talk about how we deconstructed this. Okay. How they deconstructed it. Chef Maddie Matheson's ultimate comfort creation. Krispy fries. Uh-huh.

Crispy. First lie. Piled high. Dude, second lie. Uh-huh. With golden nuggets. Okay. Cool.

Third lie. They weren't golden. Codd cheese curds. And rich, a rich pour of gravy. More rich. The cheese curds were maybe the greasiest thing I've ever felt other than just grease. Michael showed me his hand after touching me. I genuinely.

Watch the ride along. It's crazy. I genuinely yell. in like shock and discomfort. Couldn't not believe it. When you grabbed the bag because you didn't know what you were doing.

I was describing how greasy it was and I was already holding the bag and I was like, oh look and it's like look at it or take one and you grab the bag and it was genuine. Like I was like, why did you grab it? Look at it!

And you were like, oh! You would think it's the least greasy part. It was the greasiest thing in the world. And it tasted like it. Oh, oh, they were, the cheese turns by themselves we ate in the car on the way back.

They were a vehicle for grease. They are so greasy. They were a dog for grease. But they're not comparable. It was so crazy how they tasted like old fry oil and like breading kind of, but not cheese. Was that maha? Yeah. Is that what that was?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's definitely maha. Yep. Yeah, they were making America healthy again for sure. Gallo or some shit. Yeah, they were making sure it could slide down you. Uh-huh.

It did. Try this. Try this cheese. Jordan said, wow, it's maybe really good that we got some bad cheese curds for once. We've been on a run that's too good with these. Everywhere we go that has cheese curds,

the cheese curds are good. Yeah. And I'm glad bad ones exist because they're so bad. Yeah. And then we found out that that was the cheese of the cheesy. Yep. Nuggy bowl. But also why?

This is Poutine. That's what they're trying to do. It's not. It's not having a tuition on that. Absolutely not. Exactly. Putin is good. Bad Putin is good.

Yeah. No, but what about this? Also, the Kurds aren't usually fry it all. Poutine. They're just these curds. What they are trying to do here is that it's 100% Putin. That is, this is their...

How is this trying to make a thing when not making it? This is dog car again. If you want it, try to make pudding, make Poutine. That's not what this is. This creation that is somewhat related to Poutine shall rival Poutine.

It's, it's, it's, It's fries with chicken, curds, and gravy. That's... What's a chicken curd? They have the ingredients, and this is their attempt at it. You are asking if there are other bowls. Read the first sentence, and I'm so angry. Like, I read it, and it makes me want to punch this guy in the fucking face.

Is it the press material one? Yes. Okay. Self-improvement can mean intentional indulgence, comfort, and abundant value. Go ahead. Everyone scream. Get it out of your system. 2026 will certainly be the year of balance. And KFC has something for everyone to keep the focus on what matters most.

You and the balance you deserve without compromise, said Melissa Cash, KFC, US CMO. That sounded like something Yoda would say. Now, before we get into the next part of the press material and everything, What? What does that mean in terms of what we ate? I don't know. It fucking sucks though. I wouldn't say it's an, I didn't indulge. I wouldn't say any of it is accurate. Was it comforting?

No, it certainly wasn't a value. And I don't feel balanced at all. If it was intentional, I ask why. I would like, you guys did this on purpose? What the fuck just say it's a mistake? What was the intent? You and the balance you deserve without compromise. I feel like nothing was balanced.

In fact, it was quite imbalanced. And I was compromised. And I was extremely compromised. This is a weird thing for, like, I was compromised right now. I was compromised to a permanent end. Dude, I'm like burn noticed. Yeah. Oh, whoa.

Remove all context around this being a quote from someone who works at KFC. Yeah. This is a weird thing to say in general. Yeah. This is an especially weird thing for someone to say about KFC's food. Right. And then, past all those layers, this food. Yes.

This food especially. Yes. Like this would be a crazy thing to say about the original slot bowl. But like I would agree with some of it. Right? It was just shit and slop shitted into a bowl. But it worked as mush. There was a balance of mush.

It was like you got your mashed potatoes. When you have the mashed potatoes and the corn. The gravy can see the lid. It literally like held everything together. You could just spork and just got everything. Yeah. Everything was there. It balanced.

Maybe it's not a balance people want. But there was a balance. this dude you took it out of the back I looked at it and was like this won't work at all look at it look at it we had to be like there's got to be something that like

we'll like where's the agent yeah it's like the ingredient to finish the slime it's like you need the activator or whatever like what the what where's the last step the enzyme it's fucking crazy

it's crazy that this was like the thing it really it looks like again the KFC slot bowl looks like it's made together. This looks like someone just looked around and there's three things I could just put in the bowl.

And even in a bowl together, they are so not melded and are just separate. Every single piece of thing is just touching another thing. Even the gravy, which is liquid. It's just shit. It's just shit in a bowl

that's just like rubbing up against each other and is all completely separate food. Jordan was taking out pieces and going, I just going to eat it like this. Yeah, because it didn't even use a fork. He just ate the chicken. There's nothing. I was watching

just go like this and I was like you can't get anything. It's outrageous. I was so mad. I was so mad. I was tired though. Here's another quote.

Maybe this will cheer you up. KFC knows value and flavor and we wanted to bring that energy to lunch, said Maddie Matheson. Restauranter. It really says restauranter. Yep.

Executive producer, author, and actor. Wow. How about that, Nick? Something warm and bold and comforting. It's the kind of food you crave and can't stop thinking about. Well, I definitely can't stop thinking about. I'll give you that.

Is it the kind of food you crave? Hmm. I'm not sure. No. You're making me breathing noises. I was thinking about it, and I don't crave it, actually. You don't? No.

Hey, you know what? You know what? Again, this maybe this isn't the food to hang your hat on, to not only just stick your name on it and talk about. But to add Restaurant, Executive Food Producer, author,

and act shut the fuck up, this sucks. Yeah. You say, I want you get hit by a car or dog, like whatever.

I'm just like, now is not the time to tout yourself of like, and I do all these other amazing. Bitch, you didn't do this good.

You didn't do the first thing. This fucking sucks ass. I just assume everything else you're saying sucks ass. I don't want to go to your restaurant. I don't want to see anything you've right.

Executive produced. Does it all have KFC? I don't want to read you I don't want to read a cheesy nuggie quality I don't want to read a cheesy Nuggy bowl also if you're an actor who's touting themselves as executive

producer right yeah it's because he makes internet videos we're all executive producers sweet finally yeah but only one of us has that that's true no we don't it's right there Nick thinks you're pointing to the fuggler

yeah it's right no we don't have that he that's mine well this is this is your award this is my yeah yeah I took the kids to Walmart the other day and there was fugglers in there and Iris is like, yo, looks like Donatello. And I was like, right, that's a fuggler. Yeah, that's what that is. That's, yeah, correct. She was like, I don't like it. Yeah, me neither. Good. And even my kids are like, they're like, ah, I'm just a month. I'm a new monster. And there's like,

yo, this is weird. Yep. This might be too far even for me. Why would you buy this? I don't understand. Six, seven. Skibbittie. Well, bro, they just kept pulling skibbitties off the shelves. I think I said you guys One there were like 10 Skibbitty toys And then they even like sell it as a brand We're literally like Lunarrab ones So we had the Skibbony

Lunarab one came over and I'm like I was like it's not a Skibbitty She's like dude's not a Skibbitty This is again this fucking kid I was like yeah it is She's like that's not a Skibbitty That she's describing the guy Because she knows what the

I was like it says Skibbitty on the box It's a brand I know that's not Skibbitty toilet I said it's a Skibbitty toilet I said it's a skibbitty thing. That's what I said. Stop correcting me. Look, and I went back and got it.

And it's really like, Skittity on the top. And she was like, oh, it's weird. Very interesting. But she's like, bro, bro, that's not Skibbby toilet. Yo, this guy thinks it's Skibbby.

I'm like, it says Skibbby on box. No, that's not Skivit. You don't understand the essence of Skitton. You can't wait until she's old enough where I can let her curse because that'll be all of our conversation. It's going to be her going, you fucking idiot!

It's not. Let's do it. Shit Ed! All right, well, we have our review of KFC, but we need to hear from you in a segment we call You Review! Thank God. This is the only thing that's going to save this episode. I'm going to go out on a limb here.

Uh-huh. Barring anything that they say might be racist. Uh-huh. It's KFC. Everything they say is probably warranted. Okay. Well, let's find out. And maybe even the racist stuff.

I'm not going to go sign that. I think... Look, I know what halftime show you watched. I think... I think Michael should read the first and the third one. So either this is good for you or this is bad for you. Either way. Helping you or hurting you.

I think Michael should read the first and third one. This is from Jerry H. Jerry Hung. Jerry Hinefield. I will know. Okay, stupid. I will no longer pick up orders or eat here. I agree.

There is a rude old woman. Let's call her toothy. Tootie. Okay. She is about 200 years old and weighs about that as well. Every time I have been into this location, which has been over 20 times in 2025, she was rude.

I don't mean indifferent. I mean rude. Stop going to KFC 20 times in a year. Let me tell you, though. I will say this, though. In a rare turn of events, if you believe what this guy's saying, this may be the first,

the first you view were. I will no longer eat here. Mean something in this restaurant. He was like, okay, whatever. They're going, fuck, Jerry's not coming. He was here for 20 times. Why were you ran through the Toothie? I wasn't mean.

I was indifferent. What the fuck? Toothie! You don't even work here. There's a rude old woman. Let's call her Toothi. It does seem to play. He never says that this person works.

It also, I also like, just be someone who's hanging out. Toad be simply there. And also in the corner. Maybe it's just because we were because we were just talking about gluttonous America too. But to track and be like,

she's 200 years old. It's like, oh, that's so old. That's impossible. And about the same weight. And my media thought I was like, it's not that heavy. Is it? Like compared to 200 years old,

it's like 200 pounds. I know people that killed to be 200 pounds. It's true. Like, maybe she's really tall. I don't know. Hey, man, it's Toothie. She can be built. Yeah. She could be like 6.3.

Big toothy. Another of my muscle. Oh, shit, here comes Toothie. But that's your EH's review. We have the next one. This one is from Mad T. Uh-huh. What?

Mad. Yo, this T's mad. Yeah. Well, that's who made the food. It's a Mad Tuthy. Matt, Matt, Matty. Matt, Maddie. That's a self-review.

Mad T says, they have a manager named Leamus. who needs to be fired. Long story, I took my chicken back because it was greasy. She touched my food and refused to replace it. It was dinner. My husband bought. We usually buy from here. I did not know he brought from another KFC when I took back. She was rude, arrogant. She told me her name was on the door when I asked for it. It was not. I told her you touched my food. She said, well, I had to look at it and I am not replacing it. I asked for, corporate numbers. She refused to give it to me and was talking loud and crazy. Other customers were in the store. It was, it as embarrassing. I left the nasty food there. Apparently she has a reputation for acting silly. I was telling another lady about it. She had a worse experience before she started getting loud and silly. I asked to use the phone because Verizon had an I could not call my husband back to confirm which KFC he went to.

Regardless, she touched my chicken and should of replace it. Period. That's the first sentence. Everything that you just heard is one sentence. Come on, I got to see how this ends. She is on a serious power trip. Period. I am glad I have learned patience in my old age, exclamation mark.

She needs to be glad too. What a terrible person. Am I correct in this? Did I read correctly? My cheeks. She went to the wrong one and was just hammering her. Just take my fucking food back. That didn't come from here.

I don't know who you are. Hey, she's lucky I have patience. You're acting very silly. Bro, to say it once, but to say it again, I talked to another person who also said they started getting loud and acting silly. Yeah, you see those guys actually silly during the halftime show? Those are some silly guys.

Yeah. That was silly. Imagine the children watching. What is this person's name? We need to bring back classic Super Bowl halftimes like Janet Jackson's titty. It's mad titty. No, no, I'm sorry.

What's the manager's name? Lyamas. Leamus. L-I-A-M-M-I-S. Your classic name. You've never heard of Leamus Antitocopo? I mean, I believe it. I always just think,

I guess Leamus is just not a name I expect to get silly. Lehama's very serious. Oh, I see. Yeah. It's a serious person's name. Right. Yeah. Right.

You don't expect a silly Leamus. No, no, no, no, no. Maybe like, um. Acting too silly a Leamus? No, I don't expect that. Like, I expect that Leamus maybe to be stoic. Yes, exactly. You know who would be silly?

You know who I expect to act silly? Toothy. Oh, yeah. Toothy behavior. Yeah. Nick did yell toothy. I don't know if you heard him when you were reading it and she got, you got to the bar where she's old.

Yeah. Toothy. Tootie. Could be the same person. This guy is just become the audience member in the movie theater. That's just in the movie too. Having a conversation. Don't open that door!

With the movie. Oh, I fucking told him. Toothy again. Oh, Dracula's going to suck your blood. There he goes. There he goes. All right. Dracula getting silly.

Hey, last one. I also like the run on sentence, almost the entire thing. Then to say I have patience at the end, you're on a power trip. I have patience. She needs to be glad, too. Is that like, that's a threat?

That's a threat. Because if you didn't have patience, you'll kill her. But then, I'll kill a silly bitch. But then also, no punctuation. What a terrible person. Yeah. Just like a passive dog. It's very passive ending.

Jesse R. Jesse Team Rocket. This location is space period. The employees are space period. Every time I come here. And every time I come here. come here. There's always some giggling fool on the headset at the drive-through.

So you know they're just playing around. I just left with a little less than an hour before they closed. And I was told the only thing they had for sale was chicken on the bone. Okay. You mean to tell me with the whole menu that's supposed to be available? They only had chicken on the bone? There's no way they could be out of everything else. That just says they were lazy and didn't want to cook anything.

If the people that are employed there don't want to work, then why are they there? I am done with this location. I'll take my business somewhere else. F this place. The location is the employees are... Draw your own conclusions. This is the bad list. How are you going to tell me all KFC has is chicken?

I don't believe it They showed up an hour before they closed I mean I feel like it's totally possible I feel like if they're out of chicken Well I'm just saying I feel like if they're gonna have one thing I believe that they have chicken Right yeah They're KFC like I believe would you be out of everything else

I believe they have the most of them The most thing they would have is the chicken But I believe they're running out of chicken But I believe they're in there Make do you think they're in the I don't know Weird way to phrase it Yeah it's just called chicken or bone in, but like...

Are you guys talking about chicken on the bone? I'm talking about not boneless chicken. Oh, okay. Got it. So you think they're too lazy to make the mashed potatoes? Right. You think they're making the mashed potatoes and they just don't want to make yours?

There's no cooking going on. They're not making anything. Lying! Dude, well, probably not from 2026, but reading in 26th. And it's like still got that people don't want to work. Yeah. I think overwhelmingly people want to work.

I think people want to work and make money. They didn't give me mashed potatoes because nobody wants to work. Yeah. Yeah, that's why they got the job at KFC. I think the problem is... To just go and be silly. When you go in... A lot of silly talking is.

You know they're goofing around. They were goofing around being silly. That's what makes you mad is that there's a giggling fool on the headset. There's a giggling fool. Toothy? You know they're just playing around. They're not taking anything serious. Liam Miss would not be running a shit.

They're just in the back, taking all the chickens and putting bones in them so they can sell them to me. In my chickens. Well, those are your reviews, but we have our review. Yeah. We have our review of KFC's Maddie's cheesy nuggie gravy bowl, which we ate. It's not any of those things. Can I go back for a second? Yeah, what's that, man?

The beginning of the Jesse U review makes me think we should just like take the U reviews we've done, take out. take out operative words and just make a Madlib's book. Oh, that's great! So you're talking about like, you take out giggling fool and put like... Now, nagetia. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that kind of thing.

And then you have your own, your review. It's a pretty fun idea. I love it. We should try that. We should get, we should get a, I'll get a couple. How dare you come up with a verbal game while she's gone?

Honestly, if we play it, we have to call Gracie on the phone so she can play all. It's mouth to text. If we do this. Most games are verbal. That's what I'm saying. We have to try this.

I'll see if I can get a good Yelp review. Madlibs it and then read the actual thing at the end and see which one is better. But Gracie has to be involved in some way because she'll get mad if she hears that we did a verbal game without her. Yeah, but here's the thing. If we don't tell her, she won't hear about it.

She'll never get. Hey, guys, if she hears through the grapevine, the only thing she ever knows about this show because we directly tell her. Yep. Which is how it should be. Why the fuck should she? Right.

We're not offended that she doesn't. No, I'd be, I wouldn't be offended, but I would be like confused if she was like, yeah, I watched last week's episode. I would go, why? You don't want to be on it when you're there. Are you done talking? Yeah, yeah.

I would love to see how, like, oh, new episodes out. Oh, is it over? The music has started. Oh, I'm so over it. Starts just fiddling with something and going, oh, interesting. So Jordan, what did you think KFC Maddie's cheesy, nuggie, gravy, bowl?

Really, really depressing. What's it? Dude, depressing is a great word. I mean, you open it up and you go, what is this? It's not even worthy of the name bowl. No. It really isn't worthy of any of it. You could put this on a plate.

It's separate from everything. The plate makes more sense than the bowl. It truly is. This is not eat it with a spoon or four kind of thing. In a bowl. That do not mix together in any one. way shape or form and it's so dry. And most of all, I do not want those cheese curds on this.

No. Like get those things away. The cheese curds suck. That's the cheesy part. And also like even when I say, when you say cheesy in a bowl situation, it's supposed to, the cheese is supposed to cheese everything. Yeah. And cheese it.

Having, even if the curd was good, it's not. Even if it was good, the curd doesn't help anything else. Yeah, the cheese is inside. So it's like, okay, I have a fried. thing next to fried chicken and they're just you can't say it's a cheesy bowl. You're just rubbing this together. They're just next to each other. Everything is just next to each other.

They're just two things looking at each other. Took it out of the bag and I was... Don't get me started. I've been watching it. Non-stop to get angry about it. To not even have mashed potatoes is mind-boggling. I was way... Mind-boggling. Because that again

even without the cheese, that okay you lumped it all together. If I scooped mashed potatoes. Mash potatoes is going, come on everybody, we're going up to the mouth. I'm the glue that's holding us to go. The original bowl, I'm going like this every bite. I got everything. It's all

in there. I'm Eric breathing. Gotta go for it. This thing, dude, I literally took it out. I went, what the fucking fuck? Yeah. It's so dry. I think that's in the ride-along. Yeah. You can immediately see how dry it is and it absolutely was dry. It sucked ass. It's just sad.

It sucks ass. It's a sad thing. And then on top of it. We got a chicken pot pie with no chicken in it. Put no chicken in it. The best part of the bowl. This is a bad one, dude. Are the pieces of chicken that come on top of it. I ate those.

I didn't even use a fork. I just like picked them up because they're not touching any. No, no, really. And then it's fries covered in like coagulated gravy. The fries are so soggy. And they're soggy. And they don't taste good because like KFC doesn't know how to make fries. Yeah.

There's nothing to mix, right? Like you're talking about the mashed potatoes and everything. There's nothing to mix to make this a cohesive. of thing. Which is fine if you don't want to mix it. You are implying that by putting it in a fucking bowl. You like that's the reason to put it in a bowl is you mix it all together and you know when you eat shit out of a fucking bowl, it's kind of all together.

That's why we have plates. And that's why we have bowls. It just makes no sense for it to be a bowl. It's like they were just dead set on the bowl threw it in there and went, it's got to be a bowl. Yeah. Yeah, I'm done. Hey, did you know what I'm an executive.

producer and an actor. I do it all. I couldn't tell. I do it all. None of it good. Yeah. I mean, obviously that guy has nothing to do with this. Oh, absolutely. No, it's a celebrity endorse. But, um, that's it. But like, they paid him for that quote. Yeah, fuck's saying. If I thought that, if I was dumb enough like these people to

think that, I would not think well of that, of Maddie. That's crazy. I like our Maddie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. And that's a refrigerator. What the? Uh, Jordan. What do you think? 11.

Dude, it's absolutely worse than the hot honey. Yeah, at least that was just chicken with honey on it. Eight. It fucking suck. Dude, this, I've blown away at how bad this is. 9.5. Let's go. Out of 100.

Genuinely, genuinely deserved. This thing is terrible. 9.5. Too much water. This thing is terrible. It is bad. Do not get it. It sucks.

Yeah. It's fucking crap. It makes no sense. It doesn't even taste bad. Like, the cheese curds are bad. Yeah, no. But just like, all of it's bad. Just as a menu item, it fails miserably.

Like, it doesn't make any fucking sense. Yep. It is bad. And I think 9.5 is pretty accurate. You eat it and you just go, why? Bro, I looked at this. I obviously, we ate it already.

We were starting the show. I read that that got a 30. And I was literally like, well, this is like a 10. Yeah. Like, if that got a 30. Yeah, I had the same thought. That was like, that's a 30. That was still a chicken sandwich.

Like, well, we must have been in a bad mood. that thing. I would have killed for it. I would have killed for a chicken sandwich. You almost got one. Yeah, you got a pot pie. No chicken. My gut was telling me, it was when you want to something. I went, I feel like I want to say a chicken sandwich. Michael talked himself out of a chicken sandwich. I'd be like my mouth wants to say chicken sandwich, but I don't want it. So I'm not going to say it. Maybe I knew. Did I get spidey senses? Yeah. I don't know. Am I, am I the superhero movie? Oh, which is on over there in TB. So there you go, 9.5 out of 100.

Dude. Well deserved. Yeah, you earned it for sure. This was like a really impressive 9.5 too because we've had a string of like shit. Yeah, but it all tasted really bad. This is a different. This isn't even just like it tastes bad. It just

fucking sucks. Yeah. This is like a 9.5 I'm kind of excited about. The cheese cards are terrible. But like even the chicken being okay, I'm still fine with this getting a 9. It's just like, it's the whole like assembly of it. Yeah. is worthy of the 9.5.

It's like someone made a broken thing, looked at it, it went perfect. Sell it. Got to ship it. Sell it. And it's like, sir, we've been over this. You can't put gasoline in the dog. Yeah.

Well, this will rival all. Sorry. Sorry, it shipped. And people are, they've already pre-ordered the dogs. Yep. Yep. Sorry. What do you want?

Not my problem. Yeah, so 9.5, well-deserved. Very cool. Hey, you can go to. Very cool. Very cool. I'm so thirsty. 100% eat dot store for merch. We have some new merch coming probably within like the next week or so.

Really? Maybe. Is it soon? That seems great. I don't think it's that soon. I don't know. It's pretty, I don't know specifics, but the fact he's saying a week, I was like, I would know if it was coming.

I feel like it was pretty soon. Is it not pretty soon? This guy usually knows, though. I'm going with Jordan on this. There's been no date put on it. So I don't think it's pretty soon. Okay, so we don't know that it's not next week. Yeah, it might be.

Surprise drop. I definitely don't think it's next week. Guys, stay tuned next week for an up. You know what it is next week. What's that? We're doing a food court. Oh, we are? By the time this comes out, it'll be next week.

Oh. Okay, now you've really sent it through. He thought the merch was coming and he didn't think that was coming. The 17th. We're doing a food court on the 25th. Yeah. We're doing a food court on the 25th. It's a Wednesday.

Of what? This month. What month is it? February. I'm busy that day. No, you're fine. No, you're not. Yeah, you're busy with food court.

Food court, which you can watch on the Discord with us, sign up at patreon.com slash 100% eat. What's the email for your food court submissions? Food court at 100%Eat.com. That's where you can send your food submissions. We'll send you a summons. Yeah, Michael doesn't understand. Send your food court submissions.

But just know, he has a pregunto. He, uh, remember, send in. Your submissions. That hurt my citizenship. On Patreon because you get priority. If you're on the Patreon, even if you're a lowly, lowly bug. Yep, we will take your submissions over everyone else.

And also if you have, you know, we do a lot of weird food stuff. Yep. You've got like weird food etiquette stuff. If you found like a post on Reddit and you thought it was weird, maybe we'll read that. Hey, send some stuff in. Let us know.

Yep. Here's what I appreciate. It's a good description. I hope new people are watching that maybe go, what is this? What's a food court? So it makes sense. But I also appreciate,

we don't need to do that at all. Everyone watching going, oh, I know what it is and I got something. Absolutely. Freaks, send it to us. So you can send it to us now is the time. Wednesday, do you have a tier list of cookies you've sucked? Yeah.

Oh my God. Do you have a tier list of something else? Yeah. And that's patreon.com slash 100% eat where you can get on the Discord. You can also sign up to be a 100% fan and you can get a shout out in an episode. Yeah, and somebody did that, actually.

What? We have one. You have one. I have one. Read it. This is from Chas Tampa, private investigator. Oh, shit. Oh, nice.

He's back. Now remember, you can write anything you want on. And we read it. And we'll read it. That's right. My grandson convinced me to spend all my money on radio advertisements, but it has not paid off yet. Please play my advertisement on 104.9 the river,

preferably on Sunday. I know there is a line for the Prime Church crowd timing. Thank you. That's awesome. And then in the slot where it says, when would you like this to be read? They wrote, when church is done,

and people are driving to Bob Evans. That's awesome. That's fucking great. How did you get the signal I worked on right? That's so fucking funny. That's fucking good. That's real good. I like the people use it for like birthday messages or like hammering their wife or whatever.

This was to role play an old guy. Please play my advertisements on the radio at the right time. We got to tap into the GTA RP crowd. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's been a fortune. Yeah.

Laslo. That's true. So you can go to patreon. That's not roll. That's real. That's him. Follow us at 100. percent eat on Twitter, Instagram, and Blue Sky, and you can send stuff to the PO Box for 100%

treat or whatever else. To P.O. Not. 14324. Austin, Texas, 78714. That's PioBox 143241, Austin, Texas. 78714. Do not send the food court stuff to that address. No.

That'll be very confusing. Yeah, then we wouldn't know. If you hit my hand, I'll know. Okay. And you can celebrate. I just, I want to drink my water. Okay. Close.

You fucking missed by a mile. You made him nervous. Rate subscribe and tell a friend about the show where eat food and rate the food. You can tell them sometimes very poorly. On the way to Bob Evans, let him know. That's going to be like the best time that you can do that. Oh, that was so close. Wow.

That would have been so cool. What a big ending. There you go. See you next time. Bye. Bye.