100% Eat - Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Wrap & Garlic Butter Bacon Burger

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Sonic Fritos Chili Cheese Wrap & Garlic Butter Bacon Burger so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about being what middle crisis is, buying the hedgehog, and Crash Bandicoot's continued WHOA. Face Jam LIVE in Chicago. Tickets on sale now: http://bit.ly/tickets-chicago Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This ad for Fizz is only 25 seconds long, but we had to pay for 30. Those leftover 5 seconds shouldn't just disappear, right? It's kind of like what happens to your unused mobile data at the end of each month. Except at Fizz, your unused data from the end of the month rolls over, so you can use it the next month. Hey, you paid for it, so keep it. Try the other side. Get started at fizz.ca. If you need some time to think it over, here's 5 seconds.

Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. This is a Rooster Teeth production. I thought they tried to shoot and then it was too much. No, dude. Shoot this, motherfucker. Welcome to Fast Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do, thanks to DoorDash and Upstart for making this show possible. I'm your host with something, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host with something else, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you

today? Any events? Too fat to shoot. Damn, dude. To get shot or to shoot? I thought it was to get shot. No. No, the other way. No, no, no. He couldn't do it. We're talking Dateline. Don't worry about it. He wasn't too fat to kill. He was too fat

to kill. But then what's funny is I mixed it up with another episode it straight up because there is an episode where the basically the guy's like i can't i can't climb out a window and do all this i thought it was that one look at me that's what i thought it was it was a new one that even came to that was the defense and then and then the prosecution's like i mean you just shot a guy like you just hold a gun how clearly you could do it i like how eric played the intro in the middle of a conversation we're having yeah and then we just like well we get back to the conversation it was great i mean yeah welcome to face that's what the show is i'm just thinking like like what are we doing here we're just like we're just two years in. Yeah. Why is it so foggy today?

It's going on. It's very foggy. I don't know. I had a drive in that this morning. We're just eating food. And this, is this how we're going to just keep, we're just going to keep doing this or? Yeah. Yeah.

I think so. You think this is settled or? Settled? What's the end game? Well, I was saying that we like, we go to war. We become too fat to kill. We go to war and like fight the fast food restaurants or something? Nah, that sounds dumb.

And then we end it? We end it? We end it in a fast food war? We're like the most Christ-like podcast and we end the whole thing. I wouldn't say that, but I'd say we are saviors. Oh, that's true. And bug kings. I'm the champion.

I'll wash someone's feet, but probably my own. That's good. That's good. Today we're reviewing Sonic, the restaurant, not the Hedgehog. You can go inside. Fritos, chili cheese wrap, and garlic butter bacon burger. There were so many people about to walk inside. There were so many people not going inside.

When they were walking inside and people would come out and say, oh, you're totally allowed to go in, but I got you. I got you. I'll take your order right here. We watched the guy do that. And then she came out with a box of food for him. And it was a box. We watched him stand there for like three minutes and not go inside and wait around on his phone. It was his choice.

Under four minutes, though. Very important. It was definitely not under four minutes. Yeah, it was really out that window. Out the window and under four. What you did was you fucked up and you ordered ahead of time yeah oh i can't i can't believe i did that judging by his response when i said uh online order for eric he then went and saw it for the first time when i told him about it stunned that there was an order that's that happens a lot i i'm into the online order now right and it's like

most times it really throws them for a loop like they're like i just feel like they don't get a lot right like i'm always confused like do you have so many you're confused or do you not get any at all in your there's so many ways to order at sonic i pull up to any restaurant they're not thinking there's no line at all and And I go online order for Michael. And it's just like a long pause. And either they're confused or they'll go, what was the name? Or it's like, you sure it's here? It's the only one on the screen.

Oh, there it is. And I'm just left wondering. I know it's there. I'm looking at my phone. That's like when you forgot what tater tots were called. You remember it and you go, there they are. And I said, where did they go? It was a potato.

It was a potato thing. The thing with online ordering to me is that I don't know. They tell you what time are you going to be there to pick it up for Sonic. Right. What time are you going to? And so I put the right time. So they can start making it. And that's the thing that fucking gets me. See, that doesn't make any sense. Because most places don't make it until you get there. They don't make what time you get and so i put the right so they can start making it and that's the thing that fucking gets me that doesn't make any sense because most places don't make

until you get they don't make it but they're up front about exactly but sonic says what time are you going to pick this up and i picked the time and we got there right on time and then when jordan said uh order online order for eric stunned silence for 30 seconds always a good sign before he went uh yeah just give us a few minutes uh we'll bring that right i think you said like give us a while you said something yeah he said something weird i don't think it was a while i was like uh give us some more time to work on that yeah yeah yeah and then and then 15 minutes later we got it was legitimately we ordered a lot but that's why i ordered online ahead of time so that way it could be ready.

It's okay though. We were talking about, uh, scamming scammers and tricky tricksters and higher, higher hitman. I'm trying to get in the scamming. Um, dude, I feel like this is, I'll tell you, I'll tell you a scam. I'll tell you a scam. Yeah, it is. Uh, talk about online order, right?

I ordered, I went to Einstein bagel yeah bagels i know the other day nick's making noises over there genius bagel uh it's a bit out of the way long story short right i order it on the app it says 15 20 minutes right great it'll be ready by the time i get there you walk in there's like a pickup section i walk in line out the ass yeah i go losers i ain't waiting in that line let me walk over and it's like are you section i walk in line out the ass yeah i go losers i ain't waiting in that line let me walk over and it's like are you the human or are you you know like a doordash person yeah whatever picking up not not humans yeah yeah uh and so i go over there i don't see anything but i see the drinks that i order and i go those are my drinks right there bagels food bagels

certainly right right fucking behind it and i'm waiting and i'm waiting and i'm waiting and i'm waiting and i'm waiting and i'm waiting and i'm waiting maybe 10 minutes right and i'm just like standing there only only does it move on from that point because it became idle chatter one of the employees just starts talking to me because i was it was on the weekend i'm like in my i was in my very cool YouTube sweatpants. Nice. And she's like, wow, I like your pants. I was like, cool. Where are my fucking bagels?

Big fan of YouTube. So then another woman's standing there who I assumed to be the manager, and she's like, are you waiting for an order? And I was like, yeah. Nope, don't worry about it. I got it figured out. I'm standing right where I'm supposed to be. It's about to come out and she's like

what's the name and I go Michael and she goes oh do you want yeah we were gonna ask you do you want cream cheese on all the bagels or do you want a tub because usually when people order that many they just get a tub because I ordered like 10 bagels right but I was dropping some off to

someone else along the way and so i'm not gonna pull over and cream cheese their bagels right and so and so i say the woman and i was just like but but the way she said it was like oh this happens all the time and we like to check you know when people order this sometimes they go i want cream cheese on all of them they have called you jordan couldn't they have called me i had to make an account to order it so they had my information right i couldn't even do it as a? I had to make an account to order it. So they had my information, right? I couldn't even do it as a guest. I had to make a fucking account to use the app. And she goes, we just like

to check, you know, that you didn't want like a tub. And I go, no, I want cream cheese. And she goes, oh, okay. Now that we know that, we'll start making the dough. We'll get the bagels. I watched them slice them. I watched them toast them. I watched them schmear them. And I was just like this

was the longest possible way i could have i ever could have waited no not a single soul who was in there when i got there was still there their children were born it really it really it was like a it was it was like a 30 minute wait and i went what the fuck did i order? Fucking call me. Yeah. Or just make it the way I fucking ordered it. And then if I get there, oh no. Or like, hey, we cut them and toasted them and they're nothing. When you ordered them, you said, put the cream

cheese on the bagels. They did nothing. They didn't fucking prepare them. They didn't have them ready. They didn't have them sliced. Nothing. Bunch of dim bulbs. And I just went like, why did i do that why yeah so i torched the place yeah uh how's this for a theory of relativity bitch oh you want your bagels toasted my uh extra toast it was uh they were really good bagels my small wife orders einsteins all the Very small. But she doesn't want to be perceived ever, so she does online ordering and does the same thing.

But the problem is... Don't order 10 bagels. That's the thing. She'll order what she wants, the way she wants it, and it's done. But I don't know if it's at all Einstein's. It must not be because you got drinks or whatever. But she'll want a soda, and you have to order that. You can't, for some reason, their online ordering doesn't have...

Why would you have drinks? That. And so she still has to go in and like it's a separate uh revenue absolutely separate department it's not called einstein bagels and soda it's true it's definitely not so even when she that's like her favorite she just wants to go eat like this bread and then she's like well i have to go be perceived so how much do i really want this it's a constant conversation she started thinking thinking about it a couple days before. She's playing on the weekend right now. It's Tuesday. I think she's going to do what Michael does and just torch the place.

It's probably better for everyone. She should pick a different place though because this place is gone. It's ashes. She might have to drive a little further if it was the same moment or not. Thank God it was the weekend. My kids were sleeping. I went because I had time. I went, you know what? I haven't had a bagel

in fucking forever that's not just from the grocery store. I was just standing there thinking, man, thank God I'm not in a rush. This is insane. I'd be pissed otherwise. I was just, again, living the life we live. I didn't even think about it then, but I feel like maybe I knew. I go, I'll talk about it later. It's like, man, if I were a, again, living the life we live, and I didn't even think about it then, but I feel like maybe I knew.

I go, I'll talk about it later. Yep. It's like, man, if I were a normal person, I might be upset right now. Why did I order it ahead of time? We got you covered. Or do we? Come over and find out. I mean, I didn't have to pay there.

Oh, that would have taken 15 seconds. This show really has given me like oh it's fine if this is all fucked up right I'll just vent about it I have a platform to talk about this later I don't wanna talk about

the fucking chili cheese wrap I don't wanna talk about Einstein I wanna talk about fucking redemptions that don't get

redeemed redeemed it's true you come in on a redemption and then you back off on the redemption so double double damned we won't we won't we won't say who yet It's true. You come in on a redemption and then you back off on the redemption? Double damned.

We won't say who yet. There are lots of speculation. There's a lot of speculation. It's not a banned restaurant. No. I'll say that. No. Although they do have some new stuff.

Well, no, they don't. This fucking guy. Oh, yeah. No, they don't. There's nothing new about it, first of all. Cookie's doing executions. Good'll join in you're on your knees and two guys shoot you in the back of the head we're really gonna make here he's fought the audacity one of eric to suggest there's no i did not suggest it i'm simply informing suggest it. I'm simply informing everyone.

He sent the link. I'm simply informing everyone. He only sends us links if it's something he wants us to eat. No, no. This guy sent us a link to tiny tacos, and I just about lost it. I just about fucking lost it. Well, guys, this has tiny tacos. Don't say their name.

Bleep that. They have tiny tacos, and now they're in a box. Oh't say their name. Bleep that. They have tiny tacos and now they're in a box. Oh my fucking God. Now that box will be in a hole with the restaurant. I will not eat these in a box. I will not eat them in my socks. I will not eat them if they're red. I will not

eat them if I'm dead. That's, I don't Get something else! Why do they have so many stop having tiny tacos like two years at this point they ordered a lot of tiny tacos and they went no one's buying these what are we gonna do inventory did they fuck up did they buy like a billion tiny tacos and like fucking put them out and take them away oh no some. Oh, no. Some of these turned red. What do we do? Sell them.

Sell them. So in terms of the redemption arc or redemption for a certain restaurant, they contacted us on Jamsgiving, which is out now. Proper channels, too. On Jamsgiving, we were going to coordinate with them, and I gave them all my information and said, this time, this place, contact me here. If you need anything

else let me know great sounds great we'll reach out coordinate blah blah blah they did not no contact scam nothing you're good full-on full-on skit well i had to buy 150 dollars in target target gift cards which is insane to get this food like why would they want me to do that but like they want roblox yeah Yeah. And then they asked, who is it for? And you said, my friend. Well, I said that he lost a bet and he would be in trouble.

No, you said it's for James Giving. Oh, yeah, yeah. Exactly. And they said, when is James Giving? And I said, whenever you want it to be. Well, really, whenever we want it to be. Anyway, I'm still waiting to see if they reach out and go,

can't believe we missed you. Very sorry. If there's no apology. Double redemption. Furious. But still have a chance at redemption. I think it becomes an ear redemption at that point. Yeah, really.

We just grill them. We're still waiting on a redemption arc for a certain restaurant that we won't name until a while later, and then we won't name it. Until our fury has reached its limit. We're recording another episode next week. Are we really? Maybe we wait until then. Tuesday.

Oh, I was only coming into work on Monday. What time is it right now? At this time. But next week. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm pretty sure there are messages that say you can do it. Yeah, there's certain people who said I'd come in for that.

Look at this new space we're in again. Did someone say it today, though? Every day is different. That was probably an event. J-F**k is doing a hoodie. I'm going to fucking slap your phone right out of your hands. It's a hoodie. I'm going to slap your tiny phone.

He's doing executions. You have a phone meant for a tiny wife. I'm going to slap it right out of your hands. Remember in the 80s when they blew up Jack? Yeah. Just saying. We're doing it again. One more time.

Well, so we went to Sonic and got some shit. Yep. I'm just over this. What's wrong? Just like when it... I'm living life by this. By this fucking piece of paper. Yeah.

Are you? Is this the paper telling you what to do? Yeah, dude. It's telling me to eat the goddamn thing. It's telling me to talk about the thing. Yeah. You know, aren't you fed up with this? How long... What's the lifespan the thing? Yeah. You know, aren't you fed up with this? How long,

what's the lifespan on this, Jordan? You know? This guy's already in midlife crisis. It's true. I looked up, I looked up midlife crisis

to see when it was and my logical conclusion was 35, right? And that's, that's like, if you're 70, that's, you know, hey, you're pretty lucky

if you get to 70. People love to go, he was only 66. Yeah. And I go, that's, I mean, hey, you're pretty lucky if you get to 70. People love to go, he was only 66. And I go, I mean, it's not ancient, but it's pretty old. You know, 40, if you're really pushing it, right? You think you can go to 80. I looked up what it, not that it was about me, of course, but I looked up when is midlife crisis?

And it said, take a guess, Jordan. 45. 35 to 55. 55. I was like, 55? Motherfucker, you're almost dead. This rules. Guys, I got 20 years of midlife crisis. If you think your

midlife crisis is at 55, you are unaware you're having an end-life crisis, and you have pulled the wool over. I don't know. I'll probably live to 110. I think that's pretty normal. I'm shooting pretty easy 100. 55?

Yeah, no problem. 45 is 90. Yeah, I got 20 years. Baby, I got 20 years of coasting in front of me. 55. Outrageous. Outrageous. I saw that and went,

that'll save me a minute of talking about food 45 would kind of make sense because it's like usually it happens after you've realized your past like your midpoint and you kind of start panicking right but i mean then even then it's like it should be it should be called past midlife crisis like you your crisis is you've missed your midlife crisis but yeah 55 is like he woke up one day and was like, oh shit. Oh shit. I'm late for my midlife crisis. I'm excited.

By a lot. I'm stoked to be 53 and go, hmm, midlife crisis. Damn, you go, how's it going to happen soon? I'm almost there. People start worrying about their future at 55. That's when I'm going to start putting into my Roth IRA right around 55. I got halfway to go. I better start thinking about retirement.

I didn't make a 401k login until I was 42. What do you think this is going to look like in another 20 years? I'm there, baby. Oh, dude. Decrepit. 20? Even? This dude is going to be better.

I think this guy is going to be snow white in less than five. I saw a video. That's 100%. Instagram was reminding me of the time we went to the Formula One race in 2018. Three years ago. You look like a completely different person. Yeah, the world's taking its toll. You're getting ready for that midlife in 20 years.

I got 20 years to really worry about it i'm good for right now i'm young i'm a young buck guys i got the world is my oyster and i got the whole i got the whole thing in front of me but you're allergic to seafood yeah should we uh should we fuck around a little bit? I mean, if you want to. Let's get this back off the rails. Yeah. All right. Here's the Sonic 2 haiku. Who did that?

Who was that? Who said that? What happened? That was a monkey. Somebody walked by. It might have been a monkey also. No, it was a turtle. Turtle?

Mm-hmm. From Entourage. Oh, yeah! Tushy? Oh! The rhino? Turtle? Mm-hmm. From Entourage. Oh, yeah! Tucci? Oh! The Rhino? Uh-oh! All right, go ahead.

Sonic 2. Do you think the Rhino's in Spider-Man this week? I'm going to defeat Spider-Man. That's the cameo I'm waiting for. If Stanley Tucci is not in the new Spider-Man, zero out of ten. Marvel's doing it wrong no one wants toby no one wants andrew we want tucci here's how i would fix the new spider-man one have stanley tucci reprise his role as the rhino

i can picture that being like a YouTube video thumbnail, and it's like, how Marvel can fix Spider-Man? And it's just a big old image of Stanley Tucci with like a green arrow pointing at him. But it's also, it's just a regular picture of Stanley Tucci, but he's grayscale and just has a horn kind of hoarse on his head. It's him from Hunger Games. For some reason, I could not find any pictures of Stanley Tucci from the previous Marvel movies.

But I definitely remember him being in it. It must be incredibly litigious and taking this down to your copyright. Go on with your haiku. You sure? If you please. Talking about burgers.

Cause hedgehogs eat chili dogs. Whoa! That seems too long, is that right? In theaters soon. I hope I don't have to go back to counting. No, that's good up in theaters Some five baby. No, no, I can't that's something All right. I mean you make me distrust That's all I'm saying. Look I fucked up trusted you for so long fucked up a couple episodes ago. I made doubly sure It's good. I said probs and it could have just been problems and you would have been fine.

Created my own probs. Are you guys ready to learn? Are you guys ready to learn? Our previous Sonic episode was released May 11th, 2021. And it's still this year. Where we ate the Twisted

Texan Burger and Foot Long Quarter Pound Coney where we ate the twisted texan burger and foot long quarter pound coney received an average score of 77 how'd that happen jordan gave it about a 60 and michael gave it a 94 yeah it was probably really good as i don't know um yeah this reminds me immediately right you just i don't even know what they want you to say when you order it right because there's like basically there's the footlong hot dog and then like the regular which is half the size i don't know whatever i remember i went to sonic once and i said uh yeah i'll have the uh footlong quarter pound coney just because i was reading it and the guy was like what the fuck did you just order and i'm just like i just literally literally everything on the menu like i

said the whole thing and he was like, sir, we sell hot dogs here. What are you trying to order? What the hell is a coney? I literally, and I just went the chili dog. Oh, got it. Why didn't you say something? Like going to IHOP and going, I'll have the rooty tooty fresh and fruity. And the waitress just goes, what the fuck did you just say?

No, seriously. We sell pancakes. It was a weird thing because I remember ordering it kind of like thinking like, man, what a mouthful instead of just the hot dog, the chili cheese dog. And just because I was looking right at it, I just read it and the guy was like, what? So I've worked here 10 years and that doesn't make any sense at all. You've worked here for 10 years? Please leave. Pull make any sense at all. Please leave. Pull out of the spot

and leave. I think that's a testament to their how they train their employees. In September 2018, which is not this year, Inspire Brands, owner of Arby's and Buffalo Wild Wings, purchased Sonic

for $2.3 billion. Um, can I get fries with that? What? Is that the joke you always make when you talk about? I'm not even making it. It's not even a joke. I don't even understand. Who's asking for fries?

You or? No, you did. You just said it. Inspire Brands. No, you just said it. Well, I don't say any of this. I'm just reading from a sheet. Do you think Inspire Brands were thinking they were buying the hedgehog i think

they just wanted fries and kicked in a bill or two you might be right i think they thought they were buying the hedgehog they went 2.3 billion dollars for it's for sonic wow we got this and then they went here's all your restaurants and they went we don't want these and they said we'll be back for idris elba. We got to recoup the cost somehow. Just one month ago, Sonic the Restaurant sent out 444 ounce drinks to TikTok influencers, including Tristan Jass, Sloan Veronica, Cole Trotta, and more.

Can you do a Fortnite dance after losing a foot to diabetes? Why aren't any of these influencers the two hot guys? We have many questions for Sonic. And furthermore, inspire brands. It's true. Is Overlord. I want to go back. Yeah. It's true. His overlord. I want to go back. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back. Some of these names are made up, right? What do you mean? Tristan Jass. Yeah. What's up? Sloan Veronica.

Yeah. Cole Trotta. Uh-huh. Flagpole City. You're sounding like a boomer right now. Yeah. Well, I can't believe you don't watch Cole Trotta content. right now. Yeah, well I can't believe you don't you don't watch Coltrada

content? I just follow the girl with the dogs who like grooms the dogs and does commentary. I said you don't watch Coltrada content and I just heard him in the background go pfft. Yeah. He's more of a Veronica guy. Yeah. Oh, he's big time. He's all in on Veronica. He's waiting for the

Veronica tour. Can't wait. Let's keep going. You good, Michael? Some might assume that with the progression of the console wars in the 90s sonic was made blue to directly counter mario's red color palette but there's actually more to it than that the color of his fur is mean to represent peace trust and Peace, trust, and of course, being cool. According to Yuji Naka. Credit, thegamer.com. Now, did he mistype that or did you? He did.

Okay. Okay, fair enough. So, typically when I write these facts. You are a known copy paster, so I believe it. 100%. 100%. You've been known to so i know i'm actually a good defense yep yep it couldn't be me yep i never type anything uh i i search like crazy mcdonald's facts yeah if you see the a fact and in between another fact the letter v that's probably Eric. Sorry, I slipped off control for a second. There's one bullet point that's just

V. Uh-oh. Oh, man. But see, people get confused about Sonic. Yeah, looks like you really screwed that one up. Sure. TheGamer.com The final fact. Yep.

A settlement has been reached with Sonic in a class action lawsuit asserting claims against several Sonic entities relating to a data breach arising out of a third party cyber attack

in 2017 that targeted the point of sale systems of Sonic Drive and locations in an effort to steal customer payment card information, parentheses the data breach.

Sonic denies all claims in the lawsuit to be included in this settlement. Please visit http colon forward slash forward slash www.sonicdatabreachsettlement.com www.sonicdatabreachsettlement.com forward slash backslash whatever www.sonicdatabreachsettlement.com forward slash.

It always confused me when people say forward slash. Because when is anything ever the other one? Apparently it's the bottom and it's like coding and stuff. But you just say slash. Right, just say slash. You'll never need to use the other slash. That's why it confused me. And it said, fuck, I took a stab at it.

I knew I had to I had a 33% chance because there's this way there's this way and there's this way. There's also this one there's the up and down 25. You didn't even think about it. Don't even worry. Don't even start thinking about it. M dashes N dashes hyphens. I searched Sonic

lawsuit and I was given this website. What did I just read? It made me angry. Apparently there was a cyber attack on Sonic. Not the hedgehog. You would think it's the hedgehog. Right. It sounds like it would be. Robotnik. Yeah, right. Exactly. He would do a cyber attack guy or whatever. There's the, in the Sonic, the

Mario Sonic Olympics. Yeah. Fucking trapped him inside a video game. So, you would think it's him. You would think this would be Robotnik. However it is not. Eggman now. Oh, that's right they changed it for the movie or that's just like a long time ago well i mean like is that what they call him in the movie i didn't see the movie uh probably yeah they call him eggman uh so there was a data breach qualified as quote the data breach which again this is copied and pasted this is the first

line the first two lines of this website where sonic denies all claims in this lawsuit but you can be included in the settlement because they've reached a settlement in it. So they have to pay you. But we deny it. Yes, but they went, we didn't fucking do it. We didn't fucking do it. So the only way to be eligible for the settlement is to

have gone to Sonic in like 2017? No, no. Well, I guess so, but how can you provide receipts for that? So you would just go sign up and say, I went to Sonic in 2017. How much are we talking here? I'm sure it's next to nothing. How many Bitcoins can I get? You probably get 100,000 Bitcoins.

How many Roblox gift cards can I get? Well, that's going to be tough. Only one, but it's a $1 million. Is that a lot of money in Roblox? Well, it's a million dollars. I put my life savings on the Roblox card. The exchange rate comes after. I put it on in Roblox? Well, it's a million dollars. I put my life savings on the Roblox card. The exchange rate comes after. I put it on one Roblox.

I don't know how many. I don't know how many million. I think it's just one dollar of Roblox cash. You think it's one to one? One million equals one dollar. Roblox is worth a lot. That's how you do it. So if you're listening to this and you...

It's a lot of money for a goat. Like a little dragon who's always riding on shit. Yeah, right, right, right. Look at my goat. I have a pacifier in my mouth. Yep. That cost me two Roblox,

which was $2 million. Fuck, dude. Fucking crazy. I gotta start bit mining or whatever. Fucked up. So if you want to get uh if you want to get settled uh and you feel like you got to stick it to sonic the burger or the hedgehog good i like that yeah i like that you want to stick it to sonic the burger or the hedgehog

you go to sonic data breach settlement.com now and um settle up just say i went there and i'm looking to settle down you think they're just like gonna give you a coupon or something no i bet they'll send you a check for like $31 or whatever. That's pretty good for a settlement. Usually it's like 31 cents. Well, you know, only one way to find out. I bet it's not $31. I bet it's somewhere between the 31 cents and the $31.

I bet I'll never know or care. What do you mean? I forgot what we were talking about. If you do a data breach settlement with Sonic, will you let us know? Just tweet at FaceJamPod. Let us know how much money you are entitled to. And then give it to us.

Send us your... And then spend it on our stuff. I want to see the check. Yeah, send it to... Take us... Send us your confirmation number. After you... I mean, cash it.

And then, you know, void it. Send your check to... And then just take a picture. I want to see... At FaceJamPod, 1901 East 51st Street Austin, Texas 78723. Make it out to us. If we get

a thousand checks for $31 it's $3 million. You can split it between the three of us. It's perfect. Split it in three of us. It's a million each and we all use $100,000 to kill Excuse me. What happened? we all, well, it's a million each and we all use 100,000 to kill.

Oh, excuse me. What happened? We all use 100,000. Yeah. I heard sometimes it costs $750,000. Well, if you want to get caught. We get Charles Mond.

Sounds like a Digimon. Charles Mond. And those are obviously the facts. Yeah, clearly. We learned a lot. Blue is a color of cool and peace. Yeah. Are we just like going to do this in a different room every time now?

Oh, that's a space, Jay. Why can't you settle on a space for us to record these episodes? What happened today? What do you mean what happened today? Why are we doing it here? Because we got kicked out of the other building. Right. For what?

I'm asking. What did you do? What's happening in the other building that we're here? Animation. Okay. So why couldn't you just say that? I did. No, you didn't.

No, you didn't. You were aloof and vague for no reason. Yeah, we got kicked out of the other building. Right. Yeah. Right. So if you said, if you went to your house and you went to go in your house right and someone said now you can't come in here and you say why and they say you can't you go okay and you'd leave right

but you wouldn't say right but what but in that analogy that's my house in the analogy that is happening here it's our in the in the nope it is it's a room it's a room and somebody it's a room. It's a room. We put a flag in everything. I looked around. I got here. It's not in here. I don't know. I have to... Is it over there? No, he's looking. It's back in the other room that you gave up. Willingly. Trust me when I say that I did not...

That is not how that went. I don't know how that went because he doesn't even know what happened. I know what happened. It's not for air. Someone got scammed. Yes, I do agree. You got scammed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you just tell us and we'll cut it out.

Yeah, well, it's just. He doesn't do that. I hope you know. Okay, here. He doesn't cut anything. Cut this out because here's what happened. Okay, they called me and they said, you need to buy Target gift cards. And I said, I don't have a Target gift card.

I have one room in a building. And they said, that's fine. Sign the deed to us. I still don't know who this is. You had the deed? Yes. And the IRS was after me. Well, the IRS was after me.

Was the FTC involved? Because they're always involved. The FTC is always. They did say the FTC. The Federal Trade Commission. Usually the owner of the Federal Trade Commission will call. And it was because I had traded money for a van and the van ended up somewhere else. And I don't know where it's at.

And so. You left a paper trail? Yeah. I thought that's what you were supposed to do. We told you not to. I thought that's what you were supposed to do. Well, now I know why you didn't want to say this. I traded the deed. Put this out. Now we're in this better...

That's what I'm telling you. That's what I'm telling you guys. Put this out. Why did you say that? Guys, I got a great idea how we can recoup this, though. Okay. How's that? I just got this idea randomly. Uh-huh. What we can do

is do a third-party cyber attack targeting the point-of-sale system of the Sonic Drive in locations in an effort to steal customer payment card information. Parentheses, the data breach. Let me ask you this. Do you think that was us?

But this is us figuring it out right now? Yeah, we go back in time. In 2017? What's that Nolan movie? Looper. Oh, it's a Looper primer. We send the hack back in time and get the money now. And then we have to hang the flag back up.

Yeah, and then we start finding someone and cutting them apart in the past so they fall apart in the future. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Big time. Yeah. Big time.

We're talking to him over the radio back in time about the Mets. Dude, I love frequency. Yes, it is. The Menace? Dennis the Menace Quady. No, Randy.

Hey. Randy, no one is. Hang on, hang on. And we're back. I hope that answered your questions. Hang on. And we're back. Okay, cool. Okay, cool. I hope that answered your questions. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's all you needed to say. I don't know why you said coyote. Well, it's not fair. I kind of get it. It's not fair. No.

It's not fair. You could have like This guy. This guy, he's so bad with money though. He needs like, he needs help from a sponsor or something. Oh, is this you attempting to insert that here? Either it will be a foreshadowing or a callback. Okay.

Excellent. Excellent. In comedy, we call that a callback maybe. Excellent. It's either a setup to be paid off. That's good. I like it. Was that silly enough for you?

Am I out of the mines? Yeah. I forgot about that. Me too, Jordan. I forgot about that the second it ended. So right now. There's a field and then there's a mine. On the fish farm.

Well, I thought to be. If you're listening on first, you have no idea what's going on. Oh, fuck. Oh, my God. Fritos chili cheese wrap. Yep. The crave of crunchy Fritos. Chili and melted cheddar cheese are all wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla.

Wow, that was beautiful. Was that a haiku? It was so short. It was. I mean, it is what it is, right? Yep. They didn't mince words or anything else. When the marketing material is just a description of the food.

Yeah, but it looks like they go to town on the garlic butter bacon burger. Yes, they do. They love that one. We going to town? All right. Let's go. Garlic butter bacon burger. Yes, they do. They love that one. We going to town? All right. Let's go. Garlic butter bacon burger. Creating craveable bliss.

I love it already. He's all wrapped up. He's all tangled. Yep. He's like a sea otter. I thought you were going to make a tangled reference. He's like tangled. I'm only watching Kanto.

What's that about? Magic house. Dark horse. Go ahead. Please. Creating craveable bliss for garlic and butter lovers alike.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. Is that garlic lovers and butter lovers? Yeah, well, that's me and Michael. Michael loves garlic and I'm a real butter guy.

Two great tastes that taste great together. Craveable bliss for garlic and butter lovers alike. The Sonic Garlic Butter Bacon Burger starts with a perfectly seasoned 100% pure

beef patty topped with creamy garlic butter and layered between two slices of melty American cheese with crispy bacon mayo and grilled onions piled on a toasted bakery bun. What? Bakery bun? Yeah. It was flat. Yeah, they smashed it. It was flat like grilled cheese it was a smash burger

what was a smashed burger yeah yeah who's going around being like i'm a real butter lover here's me eric butter loving eric badour what have you found out smash burger was just called smash and you kept adding the burger and every time somebody was like you want to smash and then you started playing super smash Smashburger was just called Smash, and you kept adding the burger. And every time somebody was like, you want a Smash, and then you started playing Super Smash Brothers, they were very confused. Yeah, but I only play with a wired controller,

because I won't do input lag. Yeah, Wave Bird is not the right way to do that. Yeah, the GameCube controller is the only usable one. I missed him. Damn, fuck. We got a window. Yeah. We got a window.

We've got a window and curtains, but they're open just enough. Those, though, I don't even know why we have curtains. There's none over there. I was walking in here trying to find...

This is unhinged. Trying to find where Eric and Nick were because Eric's description of... It's worthless to you? Yeah. It's where this place used to be,

a crossroom where this place used to be across from where this team used to be. It's like I've never been in this building before. Yeah, I went. I know exactly where that is. Yeah, I did. I was like, this is helpful

to Michael. I went, wow, this is so descriptive. And I walked right in. I went, turn, turn this. Yep, there they are. Passed by the window. There weren't any curtains. I went, oh, there they are.

How else should I have described it? I don't think you needed to describe it all. I would have found you either way. That's why I didn't. That's why I didn't say anything. don't think you needed to describe it at all. I would have found you either way. That's why I didn't say anything. I think if I didn't describe it at all, I would have gotten you that. You could have said it was in the building and diagonally across from where they did the VR thing that you weren't a part of that I did last week. Would that have helped you?

It's like that scene in, like like funny farm or something where it's like you just go to where the red barn used to be go to where that um production was shot that comes out next month uh and it's like two rooms away from there that you weren't a part of yeah it's over there that's that way the big room or the little room over there yeah um so there you go you found it oh i'll cross from the green room yeah that's the green room over there. Yeah. So there you go. You found it. Oh, across from the green room. Yeah, that's the green room. That is a white room. Oh, that's judging by the paint.

It's funny, guy. I don't know. I mean, you definitely can't even see in the room. Oh, I would have to go inside to know what color it is? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So why don't you give us a present here? That's fake glass. That's trick glass. You walk in there, the walls are actually black. You think you're looking into the room.

It's just to trick you into going in. This is a bigging, so let's fasten our seatbelts. Let's hunker down. I can't get any more hunker. Let's settle up and hunker down. This year, Sonic has been dedicated to enhancing our burgers by making them meltier and juicier, and we hope our guests enjoy the upgrades we made to the popular garlic butter bacon burger,

said Scott We... Is that Weelan or Eulon? I would guess Eulon. Yeah, probably you, huh? Probably. Scott Eulon, executive chef. He's the chef. He's the chef.

Oh, they're letting the chef talk. Yeah, finally. He's the chef. He's the chef. They're letting the chef talk. He's going to tell us about the supply chain. Chef Scott. Our culinary team took on this exciting challenge by doubling up the cheesiness and adding even more creamy garlic butter. They just added more. That's so smart.

This guy's a fucking chef. Hang on. Did he top it off somehow? To top it all off, the garlic butter bacon burger, it's stacked on a toasted bakery bun. Again, throwing bakery bun around like it's a thing. We know what it is. That Sonic guests will love as they satisfy their garlic butter craving. Oh, I have such a craving. Such a butter lover.

Give me garlic. I love it. Let me love it. Make it juic butter lover. I love it. Make it juicier and meltier for me. You keep saying butter lover and it sounds like it's like it just doesn't sound like it sounds like you're being mean to someone. Listen here you butter lover. Yeah see I don't see

how you say it like that and you're like yeah. You butter loving piece of shit. Whoa. For some reason it's easier to say to Eric because it just feels right. It just rolls off the tongue. Yeah. I look at him, and I'm like,

fucking butter lover. This guy must fucking love butter. He's wearing a butter-colored shirt, too. It's true. This is the color of I'm just butter. It says, I'm just butter on it. Yeah, I was just going to say that. I mean, fuck, if we sold that shirt,

it would make more sense than the one you sell. What do you mean? This is, I wore my Face Jam merch. I'm just butter would actually be appropriate. I don't. We have a new shirt coming out that it says Red Web. I don't understand it. Check it out in the Face Jam collection.

I have no idea what Ruby is. Apparently we talk about it a lot. We were in the middle of doing a face another show. And there was during the stream, Gavin, a friend of mine, was saying, do you remember those sticks? They go, well, I remember like you turn one. Oh, yeah. Yep. So we we pinged merch and we said, make this.

And by the end of the stream, they're like, all right, cool. These are ordered. We'll let you know when they go on sale. Did they just slap a logo on it? Yeah. It says it's based on one side and then on the other side it says, blew. That's good. That's good.

We're pretty happy about that. We need to like. They're called grown sticks. Don't call them that. That's what they're called. Not at all. That is what they're called. Changing them.

We need to just like pick random stuff and be like slap a logo on that. That shows really good. You think we can get that thing that like you know it's like an eagle that like bounces on your finger but it can be like the monkey balancing sauce. Well he got so excited. But even that's like too because that involves customization.

They're literally just buying things that already exist and slapping a logo on it. What the fuck is that? Why don't we just sell some cans of Coke? Is that, oh, his little sauce holder. It's the vent, car vent sauce holder. I don't know why it's in his backpack. It's in his backpack and it's ready to go for when he has his sauce. He's still got that syrup I got for him.

Not only that, not only that. Let's dive a little deeper in here, right? You think he took multiples. He's got one in his car. Oh, yeah. That's in case he's riding shotgun in someone else's car. Hang on, wait. And then he plugs in the fucking dip holder.

Sir, you're blocking my airflow. Yeah. Yeah, does it smell like delicious ketchup in here? Yum, yum, yum. So delicious. Delicious ketchup. I was going to let it slide. Thanks, man.

He is wearing a, I didn't realize this, he's wearing a Whataburger spicy ketchup shirt. I don't know. No, that's a Beto O'Rourke shirt. It is in that same font. I didn't realize that. I don't know if you're making a joke, but don't talk about our next governor like that.

Matthew McConaughey? I still think he can win. Just the last one there's a route there's gotta be a way he's the future of the democratic party he's the future of kickflip we're gonna take your fucking guns

hey state that loves guns vote for me well this isn't oh boy over my dead skateboard kickflip this I only look at pictures of guns Well, this isn't. Oh, boy. Remember when I said that? Over my dead skateboard. Kickflip this. I only look at pictures of guns. Oh, that's true.

And only when they're called toys. And only after a picture of a cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There were a couple of people who were upset about how freaked out we were about that lady showing us a gun. What? It was just a picture of a gun. I mean, there were people on both ends. Like, I knew there would be. Of course. We said in the episode, it's showing us a gun. What? It was just a picture of a gun? I mean, there were people on both ends. Like, I knew there would be. Of course, yeah.

We said in the episode, it's not about the gun. There were also people that were like, I would have been afraid. And I was like, I mean, it's a picture. Yeah, it's not going to get you. That's why I tried my best to say, this is very weird, but also, it was just weird. Yeah. Right? Right.

It's weird. I don't think it's weird to own a gun I think it's weird to say hey I don't know who you are look at my gun while you're at work serving us that's the weird part right right

and then we left I didn't run in fear we walked out and went what the fuck was that I feel like we all left with the wilderness. But you say the word gun, and I knew people were going to get up in arms about it. Hey! What? The arms.

Well, you know. Guns is arms. They have the right to get up in arms. Yeah. Anyway, it was weird. That's the second event. Don't be walking around showing pictures unprompted to people you don't know

I will say the picture of the gun weird showing me also the picture of the cat weird the weird thing was that she gave us the option she wasn't holding the gun either it was just kind of sitting there

she shows the cat and she was like it was also the sitting cat and she shows the gun either. It was just kind of sitting there. Yeah. Like, it's, she shows the cat, and she was like, he's playing. It was also the sitting cat. And she shows the gun and went, it's napping. Yeah. I'm like, that's weird. And it's ready to wake up. That's what I, that's what I, that's what I call it when it's not in use. It's napping.

Don't wake it up. Yeah. Yep. It was weird. It was, to reiterate on that whole thing, we weren't friendly with her. Yeah. It's just weird that she thought. It was weird that she showed us anything

on her phone and it was like just oh of course that's all of it of course this is what you showed us you get even like close to outside of Austin and people get weird again people were upset I wouldn't lobby whether we made the show or not

I would not then walk to management and go fire this one. No, of course not. I would just go that was fucking weird. Yeah. And again, it's great content. Anyway, like we said earlier, if that was not for this show, it would be like, well, I gotta talk about this on the show. Luckily, we have a platform where we can do this. If that

was like dining with my family, it would just be a thing we talk about forever. Right. It would just be like, remember when she shot us that gun yeah yeah fucking wild yeah yeah insane good blooming onion though hey great and that sauce was not at all like the other sauce i talked to i talked to our security guard about that and he went no way oh my god i think i think he's trying to get a free meal oh he's crushing something what the hell yeah he's crushing our security guard he's trying to get a free meal. Oh, he's crushing something. What the hell? Yeah, he's crushing our security guard. He's farther from the mic, I think, than usual.

I don't know. But he's... He just waved. I think he's making up for it by slamming a lot. He is also further from us. Yeah. He's like doing a lot of foley work. It's true.

Is what I've noticed. I'm walking through the forest. Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. I'm walking through the forest. Crunch. I have high heels on. It's raining. Forks? No, he liked that a lot. He likes everything.

He's doing a thunderstorm. Anyway, we did it. Yeah, we should rate and review this food. I review nothing. What? Jordanordan i'm done reviewing jordan hey putting his foot down what is it am i in total control now new year new me no reviews december 14th no that's that's either later or probably before this i would hope it's before this at this point. Yep.

So I was not looking forward to this wrap business because chili either belongs on a hot dog or in a bowl. It doesn't belong in a tortilla and certainly doesn't belong with Fritos in that tortilla. And I'll die on that hill.

God damn it. And my favorite part my favorite part of this was taking the first bite i mean like all right here we go what do we got chili and fritos nothing but fritos i took it took a picture we'll post it at face jam pod it is just tortilla normal untouched free just horrible combination of nick just went carbs on carbs yeah it was you really need the chili in there to like uh cut through the dryness um but you get into it a little further and it's it's like what a sloppy joe or something definitely slop it was crunchy food for sloppy people sloppy joe shouldn't be it's about what you what you expect it to taste like it it tastes how it looks it

tasted not great yep even in the commercials because they fucking serve me these ads all the time when i'm watching twitch are the two hot guys in them no it's the weird ones it's the weird ones where it's all close-ups on the food and then it's like oh people who are clearly reading from a page going we need more butter bacon burger hate those commercials i hate them so much i'm on the garlic butter like hey team let's make this burger fucking i'm about to go ape oh we need another frito cheddar cheese chili thing die let me watch let me watch michael streams here yeah i'm trying to watch him i'm trying to watch somebody play mario party dead space you play dead space still pretty much mario party yeah variety streamer yeah there's so many mini games in it it's a variety mini games hey pay it forward.

Ooh. Whoa! I can't stop hearing the fucking song I keep hearing the song I listened to that song yesterday it came on my Spotify and I was just like I keep hearing the song and I just started going wow

wow wow so anyway this wrap thing is like it's gremlin food for gremlins. It's pretty gremlin-y. It's very soft besides the Fritos which are crunchy and not soft.

They start getting soft. They've been sitting there for a while. They're wet. So yeah, not appetizing to look at. Not great to eat. Similarly, not a great presentation or first impression with the burger as it came totally flattened. It looked like right before they put it in the bag, they sat on it. Michael asked if it was the hamburger.

Is this it? Yeah. Is this the wrap or is this the burger? I didn't ask if it was the wrap. I just asked if it was the burger. I was holding the wrap or is this the burger? I didn't ask if it was the wrap. I just asked if it was the burger. I was holding the wrap. I was just like... It's flat like grilled cheese.

Usually it's a burger shape. Yes, exactly. It's not a burger shape. Usually it's a burger shape. And I just thought, is this more extra food? Because there was some sort of potato thing. Who knows what they were? extra food because there was a bunch of eggs. There was some sort of a potato thing. And, uh,

who knows what they were like? Who knows what they were? Little stout guys. There was, there was a chicken bowl. He's like, are we rating this? No,

I'm like, get the fuck away from me. And then I went, why did we, what are these square? What are these little squares? Where's the burger? And Eric stared in disbelief.

It's so, it was so squished. It was very, it looked like real cheese. I opened it and was blown away that it was the garlic butter bun. Yeah. A bakery bun.

I screamed. Butter lover! I was like, oh no, my bakery bun. Oh no, my bun. It smushed. How was that Face Jam episode? It sounded like they were like They just kept saying butter lover the whole time

As someone who's not a garlic lover Nor A butter lover There was not much here for me You don't like butter? You don't like garlic? I didn't say like I said love.

To be fair, I suppose. He's a garlic liker. I'm definitely not a garlic liker. I'm a butter liker. You're like a garlic hater? I don't seek garlic out. I mean, that'll just ruin your day. Imagine getting that off your palate.

Yeah, you just... You're going to have a stinky breath the rest of the day. Imagine getting that off your palate. Yeah, you just... You get a stinky breath the rest of the day. Or you don't. He has a lot of stuff. It's like fucking Felix the Magic Cat over there with that bag. He's pretty feline-like. Don't worry about it.

You got a pet or a toy in there? Please say no. Just a pet. So what do you think? it's your overall think here my think is that the burger is okay apparently they needed to ramp it up with all the flavors because it was kind of there yeah it wasn't like packed with a garlic butter flavor i got a strong butter flavor not so much garlic it It was pretty buttery. I was thinking, where did they put the garlic?

And then reading the press material, I realized, oh, they were together. But, yeah, I mean, garbage food and then a weird burger combined. This is like 39 range. Got it. Damn, dude. This is not food that needed to be made.

Good girdle. And you're not reviewing the food, so it's a 39. I win. Yeah. 39 as well for Michael. You know what I mean? It's like flat burger. Yeah.

They should have called the garlic butter bacon flat burger. A lot of Fritos. Yep. If you like Fritos. Did you get a mouthful of Fritos on your first bite? I got even more because what I do now with any sort of wrap, right? With a bun, it's on the top and the bottom. The top top?

You can't really do it. The top top and the bottom so it's the top top really do it the top top and the bottom bottom gotcha um but with any sort of wrap a kolache anything i always just rip the end off you get it throw it away because it's just like the first bite is always gonna be the first bite is just gonna be the edge the tip you know what i mean is the deepest and like and like i had kolaches the other day right right? And someone goes, oh, the, you know, that's good. And I go, yeah, it's good, but if my goal is to eat two of them, it's wasted space. Yes. Right? So you gotta eat

higher efficiency. I rip the first piece off, I eat it, then when I get to the end, I decide, do I eat the end piece and I'm done? Or do I also just chuck the last bite of bread and then get a second one? Exactly. And so now I do that all the time with like tacos or wraps.

What if you just took a really big bite and got through that? I mean, you can get through it but I just don't need it. I just want to get to the action. You know what I mean? So you had already been like, Ah, Frito! Even with that little safe space, I ripped that off. So it was even more

Frito-y than yours. He was not wrong. Sometimes there's like no consistency between these creations. There was a lot of fucking Fritos. Okay? They clearly put the chili in and then top it with...

They hold the wrap up like a funnel. And then chili goes in it it's easy to pull off where a lot of times something is pitched as a thing and you say did you taste that thing they just threw a fucking handful of fritos in there it's hard to miss more fritos see those fritos yeah um fritos are pretty good though very salty um i'm gonna say you know it was fine it was uh i think better than a sloppy joe i'm not a fan of sloppy joe's um uh it was decent chili sloppy joe as a like yeah as a like food that you would rank it shouldn't be high up anyway no it should not be it should not be these are all on the bottom quite honestly they're all on the bottom tier of food items.

It's slops in the name. Why do you want it? You know, slop. Right? They're not even hiding it. Want to buy a can of slop? Yes, I do. Might as well just call you a butter lover while you're at it.

Damn. So what'd you think about the burger? Burger was pretty good. I definitely tasted the butter. Like, oh, yeah, there's the butter. But also, oh! I went, I don't know if i need that right it tastes like butter okay i mean i'm eating a fucking bacon cheeseburger who the fuck goes more butter it just wasn't you know everything was good but i'm on the garlic was missing butter um so it was fine the burger was. Very flat. I don't know if we mentioned that.

But I would get the burger if I were there. I would not get the Frito thing again. I'd get neither, but you don't need me. You don't need me. You get hash poppers. You get the poppy hash tater. Poppy hash taters were definitely the best part of this meal.

My solution is just not go to Sonic. I'm not going to get my payment data breached by people from the future. He's refusing to play. Don't worry, it's us. I don't want to play. He's not playing. 92.

Boy, am I glad I did 39. It cannot be higher than that. 65.5. Yeah, it should be. It should be. Man. This is exactly what happened in the last episode. Oh my god. Oh, we don't have time for

snack attack. We're 57 minutes in. Friend of mine had this while I was deployed. It's weird. Enjoy. From Russell. I don't know, Russell, where the fuck you go? Or his friend or whatever. Here you go. I don't like that it's in two bags.

I like that it's in two bags. It's red chili beef jerky. No preservatives. At least it's got a gift receipt in case you want to return it. Old Santa Fe Trail beef jerky. Route 66. Oh, he was deployed to Santa Fe. I wish I didn't see Fay because I was like, Santa?

Oh, whoa! But then it kept going. Where was he deployed? Santa Fe, New Mexico. Feels fucking dry. Holy shit. It feels like red pepper flakes. I was going to say, yeah, it looks like some sort of

dry rub. Not resealable? Nope. We have to eat the whole thing. That's that. They skimped on the little piece of resealable. Nope. And we have to eat the whole thing. That's that. They skimped on the little piece of resealable plastic. Well, it came in a bag inside of a bag. Smells like dog food. Did your friend eat dog food in Santa Fe?

Dog food with a hint of almost fish food. Uh-oh. It's the classic dog fish. Oh, that looks... Take a whiff of that. You let me know what you think. That that looks dry yeah definitely definitely animal food uh dog or fish like like it's been in a cardboard box yeah fish food in a cardboard box you get the little fish like sea scent right yeah yeah like uh i'm gonna like add and these are going to turn into sea monkeys. But then, strangely enough, it, on its own, very little smell. Yeah.

Very little smell. It's a big-time animal food. I mean, I kind of get it, but it's like- This is so dry. It looks like a- It's insanely dry. It looks- I can tell you right now, I'm going to hate it.

It looks like a scab. I'm going to fucking hate it. It's so dry. I like juicy jerky. I like jerky that's got some juice. I ain't looking to go... It looks like a waffle. I ain't looking to be no camel. Holy shit! Listen to these sounds.

I have never in my life had crispy jerky. Uh-huh. It's not dry. It's fucking crispy. Yeah. It's dry and crispy. I mean, okay, it is dry. It has zero flavor. I am chewing on somebody's skin. Here's the thing. It does taste like what you would think crispy human skin would be. Here's, okay, it is dry. It has zero flavor. I am chewing on somebody's skin. Here's the thing. It does taste like what

you would think crispy human skin would be. Here's the thing, too, though. It sucks, but it's not bad. It's just, there's nothing. There's nothing there. Absolutely nothing. He's eating more of the chicken taste. It's a little spicy. Just a little bit. Tiny. A little bit. Tiny, but it's flavorless.

The flavor is burned. The texture is atrocious. This is. It's dry and crispy. It's so, it's wafer thin, too. This isn't even. It's like not. It's a tiny hint of hot.

But then finally when you gob it up enough to make it. Yeah. Like soft enough to swallow. It's just like, oh, it tasted like something. Jordan just threw it out of his hand and it yeah like soft enough to swallow it's just like oh it tasted like something jordan just threw it out of his hand and it flew like a it's so light it's like that was like shocking yeah it um why would you eat this this is like trick food this is trick food russell you sent us trick i don't understand who what's what's the trick this is even more confusing than people that eat shit like vomit popcorn.

Yes. Because my thought there is like, maybe your taste buds are fucked up. You got like a chemical accident or something. This is air food. It's flavorless. This is for people who are super tasters and can't handle any amount of flavor because their taste buds are too strong. Oh, yeah.

So it's just like Superman trying to fuck. Yeah. Yeah. So they take a bite and they go, oh, just enough. Else. So what do you think? What's your review? It's bad.

It's just bad. It doesn't taste bad, but it is bad. It is bad. It would be hard to give it a one because it's not as bad as that vomit popcorn. Yeah. Ten. Right? Ten.

Twelve. Twelve. I'll give it a twelve. This sucks. I'm going to give it a seven. Okay. I'm going to give it a seven. Okay. I'm going to have 12. I don't,

why would you buy that? That's crazy. Average score of 9.5, which is, yeah, you know, under 10 is fair. Yeah.

Uh, yeah, no, the only thing remaining is, I guess it was a little hot. Yeah. That's it. That's it.

I feel bad. Even then it's weird. It's like, it's like under my tongue heat. It's on one part of my tongue. It's a weird, uh, huh. Yeah, I see. Oh It's like under my tongue heat. It's on one part of my tongue. It's a weird... Oh, right there? I see it.

I don't like it. No, I mean, it's not good. That baffles me. Honestly, it's kind of ruined. Monkey says two thumbs down. It's like the consistency of seaweed. Oh, it is. It is very much like that. But even then, I don't like seaweed, but there's

a flavor. And I get that some people like that flavor. This is like, why would you... This is like if you were like, I was addicted to seaweed. I can't eat it anymore. But just to get by, I chew this stuff. Yeah, just so I don't feel like a fish.

Right. We going on tour or what? I don't know, are we? Well, we got an average score of 9.5 Oh, fuck If you want to send us snacks, you can Like an hour Face Jam, Caraveira Padora, 1901 East 51st Street Austin, Texas, 78723 Send us snacks, why not?

Hey, go follow us at Face Jam Pod On Twitter to stay up to date on everything We have all of our Voodoo Ranger road trip stuff out now. Watch for our vodcasts, two road trip videos. A lot of fun. We go to Hot Chicka Latte. It's great stuff. Don't forget about Jamsgiving.

You can go. You can watch Jamsgiving. All of this stuff is on our YouTube channel at FaceJamPod on YouTube. We do not give. We only take. That's true. We get.

Yeah, we get. I get. And then Kayla was there. They give. Kayla's a friend of ours. She was there for that it was a lot of fun and you can stay up to date there

you can go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your face jam needs a bunch of stuff the 100% eat ass and 100% eat ass variant shirts are there even some stuff

that's not face jam I'm just little hoodies in store now where are you that from I don't know yeah no I got that don't forget yeah no i'm i'm not i'm not worried about it right now guys we can announce it here we are going on tour and by tour i mean we're doing one live show on one date in february in chicago illinois we're getting

a tour of the venue tour uh we are going to uh have a live episode at Thalia Hall in Chicago February 11th to go to do what? What are you looking at me for? Tickets are on sale now. You can go pick them up. You can see us live. This is ticketed? Uh-huh. Do I need one?

No, so I put you guys down. You get one for you he's getting four because he has some like family coming so my family poor bastards yeah so they have to watch us talk about probably hot dogs what are we gonna do are we gonna are we gonna have a are we gonna have like some sort of sheet or curtain we're gonna do we're gonna do flips we will do flips but those will be behind the curtain monkey might do a a cartwheel. Oh, I think he might have to up the anyway. Whoa, Monkey might do a backflip. That's good.

Wow. This would have been a great first venue or location for our podcast if it was still called the Michael Jordan Podcast. Michael Jordan Podcast returns to Chicago. We can just call it that. I mean, that's fine. I got no problem with that. The Michael Jordan Podcast. We can email Scotty Pipp I mean, that's fine. Yeah. I got no problem with that. Yeah. The Michael Jordan podcast.

Then we can email Scotty Pippen and be like, reunite with Michael Jordan. Can we get a big 23 hanging behind us? We come out to the Chicago Bulls song. The 23, we're hanging the number from the rafters. Welcome to the Michael Jordan. Our jersey's being retired. We get a big 23 and we get the flag. Yep.

The Chicago Bull is hanging out with the monkey. We should all wear Michael Jordan jerseys and on the back of Jordan's it says Jordan, but on the back of Michael's it says Michael. Well, the back of mine, mine either has to end with a comma or his starts with a comma. It's funnier if mine starts with a comma.

It is true. It's the Michael. It's a comma space mine starts with a comma. It is true. It's the Michael. It's a comma space, Jordan. Yeah, sure. And he should say Sauce Boss. Wow! He's number zero zero. He got excited about that.

So you can go get info at... Why did you laugh? What was funny? RTXevent.com. Why is it RTX? Whatever. RTXevent.com. That's where you can find...

I don't know. What does that mean? It's a blanket term for anything we do, apparently. Yeah. So you can go find out there. Get more information. Buy some tickets. Maybe the website tells you why.

It is an all-ages show. VIP will start... No. No. VIP will start at 6 p.m. Central. 50 and over yes all right well yeah that's yeah that's our demographic what you don't need to show id but you do need to show your aarp card yes get in yeah so make sure you bring that um so yeah we're on we're on tour we're gonna go to chicago and don't forget your insulin because we don't especially with whatever we eat. We won't have it on site.

We're not your grandson. We don't have it. Yeah. But go buy tickets. See us in Chicago. I don't know what we're eating yet. We'll have to talk about it and figure it out. People are going to tweet at us. I'll block you. We should have figured it out already.

It's so delicious. Do they have like Detroit style pizza maybe? really good. It's really good. I'm sure. We should have figured it out already. So that wouldn't happen. Yep. Can we go back in time? Do they have like Detroit style pizza maybe? That's a good question. Or like Colorado style maybe? Colorado. Pueblo Colorado style pizza?

We'll figure it out. Rate and subscribe our show. It's the show where we eat food and rate the food. For now. Send it. For now. I'm thinking it's coming to an end soon. Send it to a butter lover in your life. He said, oh no. I know. He said it. Because he just wants the food for now send it for now i'm thinking it's coming to an end soon send it send it to

a butter lover in your life he said oh no i know he said it because he just wants the food he doesn't care about he didn't even he wasn't even working he's not even recording all right let's go back in time and do this okay cool