100% Eat - Sonic Twisted Texan Burger & Footlong Quarter Pound Coney

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Sonic Twisted Texan Burger & Footlong Quarter Pound Coney so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about the last episode going viral, Dale Earnhardt, Nick's windshield wipers, and more. Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam12 and use code facejam12) and Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. And let's be honest, you probably do. Thanks to HelloFresh and Honey.

That's right, two sponsors. Jealous yet? For making this show possible, I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Two sponsors and we're viral. Things are good, baby. And we're getting nods in other shows

that are using the same what is it? Royalty-free music. Audio network royalty song that we haven't subscribed to. What I like to imagine is they reached out and said, can we get a piece of this?

Yeah. And Nick probably just, he just gave a thumbs up. Yeah. And they got it. I mean, he could have said no and we could have negotiated, but here we are. He's just like, nah, go for it. Well, he learned negotiations from you where you just take whatever is given to you and then we end up with just shit. A van that the door doesn't work.

Yeah. How is the van breaking more not driving it? We don't know, dude. It's not built for the elements, apparently. Yeah. Oh, you're keeping it outside? You're not supposed to do that. I was going to say shit van, but then I just stopped at the word shit.

Because it's really just anything he touches. It's true. It's like the reverse Midas. It's a good van. It works. People love the van. Everyone out there is saying, I love the van. He's got the shy-dest touch.

I don't know if I like that. I was thinking of something. That's good. That's why I kept my comments on the inside. And then you came up with a good one. Hey, so we ate some food today. What food did we eat? Well, I hope you're sitting down because we had Sonic's Twisted Texan Burger and footlong quarter pound Coney format.

Ooh, bringing the format back. We're doing that again, huh? I thought, you know what? That's a Texas twist on an old classic. I don't like it. That's what it was. That was a twist. I got here. You's what it was. That was a twist. I got here.

You started handing me food. And I knew it was like, here's a cheeseburger. Here's a hot dog. And I said, what is this again? How is this a thing again? You know, because that is the thing on the show. It's like limited time, some sort of special whatever. What's special about this?

This is a hot dog and a cheeseburger. Yeah. And you went, what? Come on. Texas twist. You just kept saying twisted Texas, Texan twisted. Twisted Texas. Uh-huh.

And I just looked at Eric and I said, twist my nipples. Yeah. And away we went. That was the food. It was twisted Texas, twisted Texas, twisted Texan burger. You sound like that kid who's trying to describe a dream he had. Have you ever, did you want to, how you would ever, ever Twisted Texas? That kid's rich now.

Yeah, that kid has to be rich. They have to pay him for that. That kid is rich now. Yeah. In fact, we got to pay him for redoing that. I want to point out, well, he. Oh, yeah. Old shiditis over there.

I'd like to just say, you know, as Eric wrote this, it's the Sonic Twisted Texan Burger, and I think he kind of, like, shorthanded it because he didn't want to write it twice. Also, the Twisted Texan Footlong Quarter quarter pound coney so so they're both twisted in case you yes yeah they're both under the twisted texan umbrella yes i wanted to get that across it wasn't just a regular foot long quarter right no they were the same thing but one was a hamburger and one was a hot dog it's a twisted twist straight up twist it's like texas bro

fucking straight up twisted homie staten island Island, Texas mashup that they twisted. Yeah, you take a bite of the hamburger and you go, yeehaw. And then, yeah, that's what happens. I took a bite and my legs got twisted. Oh, no. Like a Tasmanian devil? Yeah, dude. I was like.

He always ends it with. Yeah, we should get the Tasmanian Devil on this show. I feel like we could get him. Who were we talking to this weekend that they thought the Animaniacs were little Tasmanian Devils? Oh, that... Cole. Our friend Cole thought he was like, you know, the Animaniacs,

the little Tasmanian Devils that live inside the water tower, and we're like, you think they little Tasmanian devils that live inside the water tower. And we're like, you think they're Tasmanian devils? I don't know. I don't know. Our friend Cole is weird. They don't look anything like that. That's what I said.

I'm like, they don't look like Tasmanian devils at all. And also, you would think they would interact with the Tasmanian devil if that were the case, but they don't. Yeah, they don't spin. They don't go. They don't go... They don't do any of that. They don't do any of that. They go boinga, boinga, boinga. Also, they speak English.

They do. They speak perfect English. They speak human... Mm-hmm. That's it, human. They probably speak other languages elsewhere. I've encountered them speak English. But I'm pretty sure across the board, Tasmanian Devil, he don't speak human.

No, no, not at all. He speaks Tasmanian Devil. It's a whole other situation. Crazy. So we're back at Sonic Burger. That's the show. Oh. Oh.

No. We're still going. We're going to talk about the food now? Okay, well, what's... Yeah, this is Sonic Burger. Sonic the Hedgehog Burger. Now, let me ask you this. Did you go inside?

No. And you know what? You know what? I filmed a video because I went to the same Sonic Burger and filmed a video of only workers going in and out of the door. So they were going in and out. Yeah, the workers were going to their place of business, not a lobby where you can go in and order.

Eric, it's a pandemic. You're not going to go inside if you can order from this bar. Also because you can't. You're not allowed. Yeah. Because of the pandemic. Here's the thing, right? Take any other fast food place. McDonald's, say. They're a big one. You've heard of those.

Who? How do you think the workers get inside? Do they walk through the same door as the customers? No. Absolutely. They walk right through the front door. No, they don't inside? Do they walk through the same door as the customers? No. Absolutely. They walk right through the front door. No, they go through a back door, a door that you're not supposed to use. This isn't Disneyland. There's no backstage. No, you're wrong. You know when it gets really

backed up at drive-thru when you're at the window and they say, hey, can you pull up to the curb and we'll come out and give you the food? You watch them come out of the door you use. They walk right out the door that the customers walk in so his argument of employees were going in and out how else would they get in and out they have to use the door through the employee you can't use the door just confirming what we said all the time there's a sign in the door that says all are welcome the sonic burger no there's no no you'll see by the video that I shot, there's not a door on the sign that says all are welcome.

Why would there be a door on a sign? I said there's a sign on a door. Nick, edit it out so that way I'm right. First the turn oil, now he doesn't know what a door is. Uh-oh, Shyness is here. It's the Shyness touch. That episode was a hell, like, that last, that episode was a hell of an episode

for, to be the one to go viral. And you know what's insane too? Not a single complaint about the audio. No, everyone was like, I don't even think people noticed. Everyone totally understood

and got it. Yeah, people, people really vibed with the second intro and they all thought it was appropriate. The one not to go viral. It was very regular. I mean, what an episode to go

viral. If you want to check out Face Jam, check out that normal episode. That's very regular. A great entry point into the Face Jam universe. That's what people are saying. Have your friends listen to it and just go judge it by this. If nothing goes... I was going to Well, you know, if nothing goes.

I was going to say, if you can't handle us at our Jack in the Box episode two, you can't. You don't deserve us at our whatever episode the McMillions one was in. Normally, he's fine. But he is like saying a lot of smart things today. He's fired up. George is fired up. Dude, I feel like I'm at Vince Young's Steakhouse. I'm just in a good mood. Oh my god.

Well, hang on. Trust me, we're not. Life's not that good. Do you think the Sonic burger was, do you think it was like brain food for you? No. It must have been, right? I'm sure I was smarter before I had the... It just made him a twisted Texan. Yeah, I'm all twisted now. You know what it might be? I think the Sonic

might have a similar effect. That episode of Futurama where Fry ate that tuna fish and he got the worms of the egg salad and he got the worms and they were fixing his insides. That's what Sonic's doing to him right now. You think Jordan got worms from eating Sonic? He's got worms. He's got smart worms.

He's got smart worms. How do I keep him alive? How do I keep him in there? He's going to take the worms away and I'm going to go back to not liking him as much. That's what's going to happen. Because right now, I love this. What I was going to say was,

if nothing goes wrong in the next five minutes, I'm just unplugging my microphone. No. Because we need to stay relevant and viral. And then Nick's got the backup audio. Craig joined five or six or ten times. He's shaking his head sideways yes, which is interesting. It's like

usually people go up and down. Okay, Craig's back again. Usually when people say yes, they shake their head up and down. He's doing left to right, which is interesting. Uh-huh. That's no. What he's doing is no. No, that was yes. He kept shaking his head left to right and thumbs down.

Right. Classic nose. Right, right. And I went, we got it. Classic nose. We got it. I'm sure we've talked about this before. Y'all fuck with Sonic? For ice cream, but that's it. A little bit.

A little bit. I don't know what I said last time, but a little bit. I'm going to guess, I don't remember this, but I know in my heart of hearts, what I probably mentioned was their apps. They got options. They got things other people don't have. Their regular food is fine.

I usually get the chicken, like chicken tenders. The burger is fine. If you want a hot dog, it's a good place to go. It's not a great hot dog. It's just very, this is a hot dog. Right. But they've got good mozzarella sticks. They got good cheddar peppers. They've got good cheddar peppers.

They've got soft pretzels. Oh, that's right. You went on and on about the soft pretzels last time. Oh, I should have got the soft pretzels. I probably did. I probably did. And I'll tease you right now. I have more to say.

Wow! When will you say it? In this very segment. So now. What a tease! Stay tuned. Stay tuned right now. Stay tuned for the next breath if you're if you if your arms tingling don't go call 9-1-1 just yet just wait the story out then call the ambulance okay just wait the story out you're probably fine you you're gonna want to hear this if it's the

last thing you ever hear you're gonna want to hear it just take some baby aspirin you'll be fine last thing you ever hear. You're gonna want to hear it. Just take some baby aspirin. You'll be fine. Okay? Just listen up. I know this is the part where we say okay, you know, anybody been to Sonic since the last time? I was at Sonic two days ago. Whoa, Jesus.

But did you know that we were gonna have Sonic today? I think I did, but it didn't matter, because it's not what I was getting. I wanted apps. Mm-hmm. Stop. Who's echoing?

Stop it. Nick's getting pointed at. Now someone's running a faucet. Nick, are you running a faucet? Everyone calm down. Stop running the faucet in your car. Everyone calm down, okay? Here's what I don't like so far.

Oh, no, but this is good because it's all fucked up. This will go viral. Nope. Oh, he knew. He knew. This is the real problem. I don't care about the podcast being fucked up it's it's a piece of trash anyway what i care about is what i care about is he's so focused over there he's not laughing and it's pissing me off oh his his microphone was fucked up and he could like when he would like there was no okay well he's gotta do you gotta like turn on your windshield wipers

when you're laughing or something. So I need validation. You know what I mean? I'm not doing this for fun. Okay, he's laughing now. Okay, here we go. All right, I'm back. All right, you were losing me. Now I'm back.

When I see him going, the funnier it is, the faster you make it go. Okay, then I'll know. Yeah, there you go. Then I'll know, okay? A visual indicator of windshield wipers but straight face is hilarious. Whoa, he's spraying. I don't know what the liquid means. That's like a spit take.

He spit his drink out. All right. So I wanted some Sanic. And every time I go, I get some appies. And then I go, I don't know. I'll have some kind of entree. And it always disappoints. So I said, fuck it.

And I went to Sonic. And I got two large mozzarella sticks and two large cheddar peppers yeah a la carte and smorgasbord that is a lot of cheese i and i was like give me that baked pretzel right i want to get that big pretzel so i'm sitting in my car you know i ordered some other stuff but not for me i'm just generous for other people uh i'm sitting in my car i'm waiting they finally bring the food out it's a bunch of food they they're gone that's what sucks about like sonic or like other restaurants where like you don't have the person so they throw your food and they're gone so if you don't have anything

you're back to square one right so i look through all the bags and i'm like i'm missing one cheddar pepper and my fucking pretzel i really wanted that pretzel that was gonna eat that on the ride home that was my ride home snack okay so i push the button again and they're like hey blah blah blah and i go yeah me again i didn't get i'm missing a large cheddar pepper and my pretzel and that's it and they're like oh sorry about that we'll be right out they weren't right out they took their time no yeah they take their time five fucking minutes go by

she gives me the bag she's gone I open it up just the cheddar peppers and I went god damn it and then I drove away I was just like I can't I can't wait again for the fucking pretzel. I was like, come on. But Michael, if you were waiting, why didn't you just go inside?

Well, because there's like COVID. I'm not going inside. It's crazy. It's not worth the risk. That's not worth the risk, dude. We all acknowledge you could have. We all acknowledge you could have. We all acknowledge I could have. Also, I just said, it's like time.

They still would have had to make the pretzel. It's not like it was sitting there. They just clearly aren't listening. I pushed the button one more time, and I said, listen to me! And then I drove off. Well, here's the thing about you going to Sonic. Man, that's tragic. I haven't had the pretzel. You going to Sonic two days ago, Well, here's the thing about- Man, that's tragic. It's tragic. I haven't had the pretzel.

You going to Sonic two days ago, you wouldn't have been able to get the Twisted Texan Burger and Footlong Quarter Pony. Oh, is it brand new? Yesterday. Whoa! Yesterday was the first day. No hot off the presses. It's only going till the end of May.

This is one of the shortest promotions I think we've ever been a part of. Yeah. Run. Don't walk into your local Sonic. Well, they'll let you in. Just kick the door in and start yelling, I'm a twisted Texan, I'm a twisted Texan. Twist me up.

Spin me like a top. Jordan, any other experiences with Sonic? I'm sure you haven't been in a top. Uh-huh. Jesus. Jordan, any other experiences with Sonic? I'm sure you haven't been in a year. I'm sure he hasn't been since we went. Definitely have not been in a year. But my past experience is every time I go and order something, they get the order wrong. Oh, no.

So don't have a lot of good times there. There was one time I ordered a chicken sandwich that came with no chicken. Jesus Christ. Did it come with something else instead or just? Nope. That's where the soft pretzel went. Just absent. Yeah.

There's a soft pretzel bun. The thing is. Yeah, it seems like. Yeah. I know the soft pretzel isn't even that good. But it's still your ride home snack. God damn it. Yeah, you wanted it. Dude, can I say...

And I wanted it for you and honestly, I'm sad you didn't get it. I can't eat all that. Their larges are pretty meaty. Like the a la carte appies. You know, there's a lot. And I knew I wouldn't eat all of them then. It was more like I want to eat these and then I want to continue

eating these later. Correct, yeah. Talk about a lot of fucking cheese a large is like i don't know eight ten mozzarella sticks and similar poppers and i got yeah they call them cheddar peppers they're jalapeno poppers yeah but it's with cheddar instead of a mozzarella or like a cream cheese or jalapeno well jalapeno poppers usually have cheddar, but they do sometimes have cream cheese. Yeah, usually it's more of a cream cheese thing, but that's like, but I like them for that because I don't know another place that does a creamy cheddar nowhere.

Like, yeah. Don't really feel like we need to get lost in the weeds on this. But like, we don't need to get lost in the weeds, okay? But I'm coming out on the other side. I ate so much fucking cheese. Yeah? I was still eating them as it was already hurting.

And I was going, oh, as I was chewing more jalapeno poppers. Maybe I should stop eating them. That thought never crossed my mind. It's got to be a bell curve. It's not just a point of no return. It must be a bell curve where it's so much that you get to the other side and you cure yourself. You know how you get like you know how like Princess Bride

like Princess Bride like you take a poison for long enough and you become like immune to the poison. I feel like that's what it's gonna be like for cheese. It's funny because I was eating it and I kept screaming as you wish everybody. Inconceivable! And I say pop six more in my mouth.

I would say, this mozzarella stick killed my father. Oh, man. Prepare to be eaten. Prepare for you and your 19 friends to die. Right. Jordan, do you have a haiku prepared for us? I do. I will read the haiku.

For you. It's not just for me. It's for everyone. Fast food and fast drink. Order from car or inside. Bring back the two guys. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Hey, that rules. I don't like the haiku segment. I hate it. Haiku rules. That means I love it. Or I was so on board, or inside, I am not on board. It's bullshit. You put it in there. Well, people don't like when a mirror is held to their it's well they're

less about that and it's more about how unfair it is that he has a whole segment where he can defend his fucking point of view which is wrong and i have no rebuttal or recourse the best you have the best pieces of art uh-huh the best pieces of art make you look inside yourself and wonder, what am I? Who am I? Am I wrong? I'm not, though, because I was just at Sonic, and I saw that no one could go in. This is the problem.

He just refuses to see the facts. He looked inside, and he found spoiled milk, and he doesn't like it. He looked within himself, and he saw a Sonic that you can order inside of and he didn't like that it was like a weird Russian doll of inside of Eric

the order was inside me all along I don't like I'm really not a fan of how on fire Jordan is on this episode he's good dude maybe he went to Vince Young's. Some bullshit. Sorry, I'll dumb it down.

Thanks, man. All right, we getting into some facts? Are we going to learn about this restaurant? Yeah. Learn again. All right. Here we go. First lazy fact as usual.

I called it a fact. It's called a fact that's game facts it's an faq um well you just say this is what it got last time so it's just like lazy like usually you write five but now really you only write four because the first one i want it yeah do you remember the conversations where i said how can i write zero and i've just i've compromised to this well we'll talk about your performance later. I shrugged. Our previous Sonic episode was released March 17th, 2020,

where we ate the Sonic Double Stack Cheeseburger. It received an average score of 78.5. Pretty good. You gave that like a 94 or 95. Probably well-deserved. You liked that. It was like out of nowhere, too, because we were just like, it's fine? Probably well-deserved. You liked that. It was like out of nowhere, too, because we were just like, it's fine. It's a cheeseburger.

And then I think you just went, yeah, it's a cheeseburger. It's good. 95. I was going to say, that seems very, like, a lot of our scores these days are a little more, I don't know, averaged out in an equally weighted manner, I think. And so this is an earlier episode where I probably gave it like a 40 and you were like 98. No, you must have given it a decent score though, right?

What did you give it? It must have been down in, I mean, just looking at that, it's probably around like the 60s. He probably gave it like a 60. That's decent for Jordan. Yeah, that is decent. I'm just saying, he just assumed 40. Can I retroactively lower the score to about...

No! I would like to raise it as well. I was going to say hire it. That doesn't make sense. Hire it. You're hired. If you're lowering, I'm hiring. Anyway, look, I was a lot more generous in 2020.

We, March 17th, the beginning of the end. It's true. It's true. The last day. Jesus Christ. Yep. The last day you could have ordered inside the Sonic Burger. Since our last Sonic Burger episode, the XFL has gone defunct, but the redhead triplets

and their dad are still sucking down Red Bull slushies in a truck. Bring back those two hot guys everyone loved. That's what I'm saying. That's me and you are on the same page here, buddy. That is what he was saying. I don't like that weird ginger family. Yeah, it's the three triplets and the dad and it's just like. Sucking down Red Bull slush?

That's what they're drinking. This Red Bull slush is what I want as a special treat when I'm like a little kid For me yeah, it's fucking miserable. It sucks bring back the two hot guys too much What you just did was too much, and that's that's just listen. That's how those commercials are They should bring back the two hot guys, but with me and Eric Wow as the two words where would the hot guys be the fuck it we're no we're just we're just the new two hot guys not necessarily that we're have you seen this guy under some stage lights okay looks like fucking santa claus have you seen this guy up close Is that salt and pepper hair really threw you for a loop

when we got all the lights in there? You just went, what happened? I kept saying, Lindsay said it too. Lindsay said it too and I went, where's the pepper? We'll just retool it to be like a guy and then the really old guy he takes care of

in the car eating Sonic. As long as you can eat cheddar peppers. In the car eating Sonic. As long as you can be sucking off Red Bull slush with Jordan. That's all that matters. That's the plan. All right. Fact number three. Sonic hosts an annual skate-off to determine their best skating car hop.

Although the prize is small, the competition mostly serves to deter the public from trying to go inside their local Sonic Burger because you cannot go inside if you're Eric and you don't try to open the door. However, if you're not Eric, just walk right inside. All are welcome. As the sign says on the door, not a door on the sign.

I think that the loyal jammers out there could clearly hear where my fact ended and Michael's sort of pontification on the thing. All of that was read. All of that was on the paper. Jordan could reread that verbatim if he wanted to. He just doesn't need to prove himself to you. It's true.

I'm like Captain Marvel. I don't need to prove anything to you. Yeah, that's great. You're Jude Law. You're Jude Law and I'm Captain Marvel. And then you blast him. Yeah. You really got me. You're like Captain Marvel and I'm like Jude Law. You're Jude Law and I'm Captain Marvel. And then you blast him. Yeah. You really got me.

You're like Captain Marvel and I'm like Jude Law. Big time slam. Get Reese's blasted. Hey, hey, hey. He sucks in that movie. Okay? You're not like, you're not Jude Law. Who is he in that movie?

The mistake you made was calling him Jude Law. You should have called him like Blingo, whatever the fuck his name is in the movie. Oh, it's Blongor. That's when he shows up at the end and he goes, hey, you're Captain Marvel now. Fist fight me. And she goes, fuck you.

And she just shoots him and like lays him the fuck out. I don't remember Jude Law in that movie. And then he goes, and you see him soil himself. Yeah. He turns into a baby. Yeah. Damn. That's not a fact, but it should have been.

Hoping to attract customers in new ways, some Sonic locations have incorporated things like batting cages and volleyball courts. There are a few Sonic locations that also offer adult play places, but what goes on there, no one can be sure. I looked over at Eric, and he was giggling. He was almost crouching under his window. It was kind of a no one can be sure, and then I looked over at him and he signaled, but I know. I'm not telling.

I'll never tell Where are the Sonics with the batting cages though? There's they're all spread out There's one called like Sonic Beach And you can like buy booze there They have like beach volleyball But there's like a few different locations where they have It really says adult play place

And then there's other ones that have like batting cages and shit. Are they just bigger slides and ball pits or like what? Is he happy again? I don't know. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest. He fixed his microphone almost immediately after the conversation. Correct. And it disappointed me a little bit because I really enjoyed

watching the windshield wipers go. But then he just did it anyway so now I was confused. I thought he was just meaning his car in a bug on the windshield or something. It's then he just did it anyway, so now I was confused. I thought, well, he's just leaning his car in a bug on the windshield or something. It's almost like a round of applause or something, man. Now it means standing ovation. Yeah. All right, the final fact.

Starting in 2000, Sonic got into the NASCAR game by sponsoring Dale Earnhardt Sr. Tragically, it ended up, don't laugh, it ended abruptly just one year later when Sonic, with no sense of loyalty, began sponsoring Kevin Harvick instead. Traitors.

Can't believe that they would do that. They just ditched him after a year? Only one year with him and they're just like, nah, we're changing. God damn. We're talking about lifelong sponsorships like Jeff Gordon and DuPont. And they just, Sonic just went, Dale Earnhardt Sr., throw him in the trash.

We're moving on. We're going to sponsor this other guy in a different car. Yeah. This new young guy. You know what? Dale Earnhardt, he was too old. And then this young up-and-comer came out of nowhere. Like, I don't even think he was in the first race of the season.

I don't know what happened. But from the second race on, Sonic was like, we're on board. We love this guy specifically. It's weird that they would change in the middle of the season. Who sponsors him now? I don't know that he might be retired. I'm not sure. I'm not a NASCAR guy.

I'm not even a car guy. Someone drove me here. I just sit in the driver's seat, so I don't understand. Make someone lay down in the back. I thought for a long time, NAS was just a kind of car. Jordan, what does NASCAR stand for? North American Stock Car

Auto Racing? Oh, I just assumed he knew and not was going to guess. No, it's National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing. Sorry, not North America. I got it wrong the first time. He clarified and it mattered so little to me. Do you remember what it is? Could you repeat it?

He said North American. This is like when we got lost in the weeds about the peppers and the cheddar and whether or not they were cheddar. We were never confused. No, no, I don't think there was any confusion. No, I'm saying I just didn't care because I wasn't interested.

I like this dynamic again. The problem that he's running into is he didn't have a buddy when he dove into that NASCAR thing. He was by himself. We had a safety chain, you know what I mean? Like, if I were drowning, you'd pull me up, and if you were drowning, you'd pull me up. And if you were drowning, I'd let you stay down there for a little bit.

But eventually I would pull you up, you know? And Jordan was just kind of getting dangled like an air freshener in Dale Earnhardt Sr.'s car. And then something happened to him. I don't know what, but that freshener is gone now. You guys are like Sonic. You're just dropping me. Like, where's, who's the next guy? Yeah, we're dropping you mid-season, dude. It's fucked up.

We got rid of you. Like, they got rid of Dale Earnhardt Sr. Like, who's the next guy? Yeah, we're dropping you mid-season, dude. It's fucked up. We got rid of you. Like, they got rid of Dale Earnhardt Sr. Like, Sonic got rid of the two hot guys. Yep. You're next on the chopping block. Sonic is just full of betrayals. No loyalty for Sonic Burger, dude. That's fucked up.

And further no loyalty. They're hanging out with Dale Earnhardt Sr. They didn't even bother getting Sonic to drop him. That's true. They didn't even get him. Nope. It's fucked up. No loyalty.

No loyalty. He's the blue blur. I didn't catch that last part. It was just a bunch of distorted audio. I said he's the blue blur. Gotcha. Thank you. Because he's blue and he's fast yeah that's what they call dell at heart before they dropped him did they well that's what they were but that's that's the thing in a 10-year plan you know you can get that nickname

over yeah like after one year they're just like they went we're done kill it we're done. Kill it. We're done here. Kill it. Kill him. Who knows? It's fucked up. Well, hope they didn't do that. Yeah, right? No kidding. I hope it wasn't an inside job. What was?

The contract? Yeah, I guess him getting dropped on the contract. Like maybe Dale Earnhardt Jr. had something to do with it. Do you think the contract blew up in Dale Earnhardt Jr. had something to do with it. Did like, do you think the contract blew up in his face? Oh, oh no. Dude,

that, when that happened, how much do you think can make it into the episode? When that happened, it gave him whiplash. That's fucking wild. I heard he was like,

he was into the sponsorship. He was like wall to wall on it. How much do you think is making it in? Before this part? Or? I think, I think we're just reaching the center nugget of this.

Yeah, really. I think we're hitting our stride. Like hitting a wall. I don't know enough about racing what happened. What? There's a grackle on Jordan's car. All right. Stop.

Stop. Hang on. Oh, my God. There's a grackle. Oh, he flew away. Oh, my God. Alright. Stop. Stop. Hang on. Hang on. Oh my god. Oh my god. That was wild. You know why I couldn't get a picture fast enough? Because Louis fucking messaged me. Louis, stop messaging me. How does that stop you? What do you mean?

Because I had to swipe over on my phone and where I swiped is where the Louis message was. But you could just swipe up from the corner and go right to pictures. Shut up. Hey. Right? I just swipe up from the corner and go right to pictures. Shut up. Hey. Right? I just swipe. Go this way.

It's like teaching your grandpa how to use the phone. Just doing extra steps. Don't bother. Anyway, those are the facts. Probably. This Friday. I actually like this so much better than a motel. I'll bet the people who live here are really happy.

Witness how the strangers. Hello? Became the strangers. You have to get out of here. What's the point of doing this? Oh my gosh! Why are you doing this to us? Because you're here.

The Stranger is Chapter 1. Only in theaters Friday. What happens when 20 extremely athletic Canadians who thrive on competition and won't settle for less than number one find themselves on a team? Taking on jaw-dropping obstacles all across Canada is one thing. Working together on a team with some pretty big personalities is another.

It's a new season of Canada's Ultimate Challenge, and sparks are gonna fly. New episode Sundays. Watch free on CBC Gem. The best adventures are the ones we share. So explore together with the 2023 Defender 130.

Featuring increased cargo capacity and room for eight adults. With unstoppable off-road capability, excellent on-road dynamics, 21st century connectivity and luxury interiors, you'll be capable of great things. The 2023 Defender 130.

Adventure. Share widely. Contact your Land Rover authorized dealer for details. That last fact was a minute long. And we're back now. Just one quick minute. Welcome back. And we're back.. Just one quick minute. Welcome back. And we're back.

And that's that. Spitting silly. Good facts. Spitting silly? Are you sure? Yeah, I mean, fuck around a little bit if you want. Oh, what's this? What the fuck is this? Something's coming across my desk.

The fuck is happening? That's coming across my desk. The fuck is happening? That was very short, Mike. Hey, that was the short one. Hang on. Wait, I fucked that up. Hang on. Here we go. What's this?

I'm getting a Face Jam news alert. I'm sorry, a what? Face Jam news alert. Okay. Okay, hold on. I'm sorry a what? Face jam news alert Okay Okay hold on Okay what's the Hang on it's not done yet Okay wait

Okay Alright face jam news alert Just came across my desk You're in your car Car seat Breaking news Domino's has partnered with Neuro came across my desk. You're in your car? Car seat? You're in a car. Breaking news. Domino's has partnered with Neuro, a self-driving car company,

and is rolling out a robot car delivery service to select customers in Houston. As a result, the company has started airing commercials reviving their beloved hostage crisis-inspiring mascot, the Noid. In the ads, the rabbit-human hybrid attempts to thwart the robot car's journey to deliver pizza autonomously

to customers. The Noid's motivations for this are unclear. Is he a Luddite who seeks to destroy innovation wherever it rears its head? Or is he a champion of the working class, warning society of the oncoming automation of everyday jobs? Fuck! Right in the automation of everyday jobs. Fuck.

Right in the middle of the episode. Yeah, this just came across. Well, yeah, I don't know if you saw it. Jordan's got like a ticker on his Tesla. He's printing it out of his Tesla. And it printed right out. A dot matrix printer in his Tesla. We're going to ignore that first intro I played.

It was the wrong one. It was too short. So do we have to go to Houston to get this pizza? Well, you do. No, you have to go to Houston so the pizza can come to you. Yeah, and then you bring it back to us. Assuming the Noid doesn't stop at first. Assuming the Noid doesn't take you hostage.

Yeah. It says here, Domino's was mum on whether bringing back the Noid, who drove a man to take an entire Domino's restaurant hostage in 1989, was a good idea, but they are selling a Noid-themed T-shirt that you can buy for $30. Sounds like they did think it was a good idea. Yes, correct. I think that they're just going, I don't know, what's that guy still gonna do about it? Is that guy locked up, or?

Yeah, I think he's still in an institution. What's he gonna do about it? He committed suicide in 1995. Oh, that's right. Oh, shit. So he's not gonna do anything about this, then. That's why I'm a Pizza Hut guy. He's hanging out with Dale Earnhardt in the expired contract zone.

What do you mean? Dale Earnhardt Jr.? Is he friends with him? Is he hanging out? In the expired contract zone. Jesus Christ. This is a good one. Eric, are you excited that the Noid is back?

No. How do you feel about it? I think the Noid is a stupid mascot that can stay gone. It's like bringing back Cool Spot and people getting excited about it. What if we have... What, the 7-Up guy who had the little red spot with the sunglasses? Oh, I didn't know that was his name. Yeah, his name's Cool Spot.

I thought he was just Spot. No, it's Cool Spot. It was Cool Spot? I thought his name was Spot and you were calling him Cool. No. I had that game. That was a game. I owned it.

Yeah, it was a cool game. Fucking Game Gear, bro. Yeah. Avoid the Noid was a game, too. Yeah, that game was not as good. This was a real game where you had to run around as the spot. I just called them spot. We were friends.

Cool spot. I don't call you Eric Barndoor. I just called you Eric. Yeah, right. He says something. The Noid is now CGI. Eric's not your name? Hang on.

Is there breaking news over here? Is there another breaking news alert? No, there's not. No, you were calling me by the wrong name, and I said that's not my name. The Noid is CGI. Eric Bordure? How big is he? He is about chin high on an average.

Chin high to what? He's a little gremlin. He's like knocking trees down and stuff. He's not as tall as the car. I'm just saying, look, if someone says how tall and you say chin high, who's chin? What does that mean? He said shin. Shin high.

What? Oh, I thought you said chin high. And I was like, first of all, weird measurement. Second. I was with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I got it.

If it was Jay Leno, he could be three feet tall. You're saying chin high. If we're going the bottom of the chin. Uh-huh. But we're not. Shin. Shin. I mean, even still.

Yeah, we understand why you were confused. I think that's a little bit more. What if you got massive ankles? What if your ankles just stretch? You know what I mean? Who has massive ankles? Yeah, what if your ankles are two feet tall? What if you're like Cotton Hill and you don't have shins?

Oh my god. Wow. I didn't think about that. Anyway, he's about the size of Cotton Hill. Ever watch King of the Hill World? It's really it's for everyone no matter where you live. Uh huh. Even if you don't live

in Texas or even America, it's very topical to watch King of the Hill you'll get all the references you'll love it and it'll be timely you don't even have to live in Texas hey hey hey it's coming back

are they making more I didn't know that yeah me neither look at you having your finger on the pulse of the animation industry well that's some breaking news Play it Play what? He's not going to do it

Are we still doing this show? Hey What part are we up to? I'm still in spit and silly where I wrote How would Roy Troy elevate this meal? What? Stop It's from Celine HF

Didn't you go to that guy's restaurant? Yeah What? Stop. It's from Celine HF. This is why I told you to play. Didn't you go to that guy's restaurant? Yeah. Yeah, it's a great restaurant. I only know because you keep saying it, and I keep saying, I don't care. And you keep saying, I went to Roy Choi's restaurant. It was good. Yeah, we're friends.

I call him Roy. And I went, okay. I call him Cool Roy. Oh, shit. Now, is that his name, or is he just his name is Roy, and you call him Cool Roy. Oh, shit. Now, is that his name, or is he just his name is Roy and you call him Cool? All right, that's enough. Is it? See, I wanted us to do.

Hang on. There it is. This is breaking news. Jordan and Eric apparently visited Roy Choi's restaurant. Roy Choi, famous chef, also known for Selena and Chef. Now, as far as I'm aware, Eric and Jordan have not been on Selena and Chef, but who knows? The future anything is possible in 2021.

That was pretty good. You hit your goalpost pretty well there. What do you mean? It's called hitting the goalpost when you when you're saying the thing and it ends right with like the music. Why would you want to hit the goalpost? Don't you want to go through the goalpost? You'd have to ask Nick. He'd have to explain it to you later. It doesn't make sense though, right?

If you kick a field goal, you don't go I hit it! It's true. You don't want to touch it. You want to go in the middle. You don't want to touch it. I liked how we did it earlier where we just let the thing play out so you could get the vibe of the newsworthiness. Yeah, I didn't think we had time for the second time. No, we definitely don't.

I just went over it. Do you think we're going to make that 4 o'clock meeting? No, I've already let them know we have to reschedule. I already said we have to reschedule. This just in, we won't be making our 4 o'clock Face Jam weekly sync meeting. That's right. The show happens every two weeks, but we have a weekly sync for the show. But don't worry.

We usually don't make it and cancel it because content for the jammers out there is always more important than planning the content, which is why you get a show that is like this. Back to you, Eric. Well, I think we've officially done it. Jordan, do you want to talk about the food? He put this in my head just so you know. I just wanted to say, yeah, I've unintentionally created a monster.

Oh, I accidentally. What the fuck? Breaking news. A monster has been created. I'm a monster. I slacked Michael this morning and was like, hey, I got an idea for something. Can you find Breaking News music?

And just so we could both be in on it. Ridiculous. I did not take into account that. Now he has the drop whenever he wants to use it, and we'll use it for anything. Can I say how excited I got for the first time in maybe 16 months of this show? Jordan texted me with an idea he had and I got very excited about it

and I wanted to do it. Okay? Yeah, usually I take my ideas to Nick. That's good. And it's great too because he never says no, he just nods his head. He's like, he's doing that left to right yes again. Loves it.

Yeah, he said, no, don't do a second haiku. Don't read that second haiku. All right. What the fuck did we eat, Jordan? Back to the food. Oh, that's right. I have more stuff to read. That's right.

We're going to lose 10 minutes on that last fact. We're still within time. The Twisted Texan Burger, Sonic's signature chili, melty American cheese, and crispy onion strings piled on a 100% pure beef patty layered on a toasted bakery bun. Do you like it? Oh, did I go away? Yeah. Yeah, I cut out. I was just pretending because I'm...

I got a phone call halfway through. I'll be honest. I know what you were saying because it's written on a piece of paper. I was just waiting it out. I read it. No, me too. I was waiting to hear when he was done, but then I saw him staring. Yeah.

So I went, well, this isn't going to go well. All right. Well, we can just cut all this out. Take two. Because I read it. Take two. Oh, you have to hear me read it? No, you don't?

No, here's what we do, though. We put a cleaner pass in. Then you leave them both, and the audience can decide which one was better. Vote now by dialing this number. Number one. this number. Number one! Twisted Texan footlong chili cheese coney.

Sonic signature chili. Cheddar cheese. It's cheddar cheese this time. And crispy onion strings piled on a footlong corner. We know what it says! Why did they just do it twice? Whoa.

Yeah, but you're right. It's cheddar instead of American. That's pretty twisted. That's twisted. Welcome to Texas, bro. Welcome to Tejas. Now this is Texas twisted. Mm-hmm.

Well. Press material. Your favorite part. Warm melty cheese and chili are spun together with crispy onion strings to take two familiar favorites, Sonic's classic cheeseburger and foot-long quarter pounder, quarter pound coney, to a whole new level of comfort with a Texan twist. What is the Texan twist?

Says Scott Yulheim? Yul, Yuling? Whatever. Vice President of Product Innovation and Development for Sonic. Did someone give him laughing gas? I don't know what's going on over there. You said quarter pounder instead of quarter pound Coney

and he lost it. And Nick was done for. He just lost it. He laughed. I kept looking going, I can't even get through it. What else was funny? What was funny? He giggled for two sentences.

And that was making me laugh. I was just laughing because I didn't know what the fuck he was laughing at. Every mouth-watering bite will blow guests away with this unique celebration of Southwestern flavors.

Dude, I want to get blown away. So they're just fucking chili burgers and dogs. Yeah, he's fucking doing it. He loved it. Michael, he fucking loved that. Dude, he's squirting over there. He's squirting. Nick's car is getting blown away.

Better clean that shield. Wow. Nick's car is getting blown away better clean that shield wow that's always bold when you describe your own food as mouth watering and telling them they'll be blown away I mean that's I think that's smart

if you insinuate you'll be blown in some way shape or form you know what I mean I'll be the judge of way, shape, or form. You know what I mean? I'll be the judge of that. I gotta go get it. I don't know why, but I think I'm gonna swing by Denny's on the way home. I'm gonna make a quick stop. Well. Yeah, that guy is.

I don't know how you tackle that last name. It didn't help that. It was a weird one. The last name is there's a lot of like E's in there. Yeah. I mean, there's just two. Look, there's vowels galore. And it doesn't help with the performance anxiety of Nick laughing at you the entire time.

Yeah, the monkey laughing at you the whole time when you're like, uh, sky. You, you, you. Uline? Uline? I think Uline is probably right. I think so, too. We have to have the power to mute the monkey. We have to have the power to mute the monkey.

We talked at the end of the last episode about how are we going to get him to talk. What if we don't want him to? Yeah. We did. We had a lot of suggestions. We had to maintain control over him. Some would say too many suggestions and also keep them to yourself. Here's the level of the suggestions and we've talked about this before about you know how early it is we record the show

and then we just we move on to planning the next one right i live in this show when it happens and then i move on right i saw so many people talking about how they get the monkey to talk and my reaction was what the fuck are they talking about what the fuck is everyone talking about who gives a shit and then finally came back oh we said that yeah i don't care anymore that was like a week ago who cares but also we weren't looking for suggestions no so so if you sent one, how dare you? Yeah. Keep them to yourself. Put it back in. Suck it back in.

You need us. We don't need you. You guys, I'll be honest. Long time ago, you questioned it, and now you're coming around. It makes perfect sense now. You okay over there? Hey, hey, we're Sonic. We'll drop you whenever we want. Yeah.

We'll find someone else. No rhyme or reason. Fuck you. Well, yeah. There you have it. That's the food. Let's review the food. Hang on. Before reviewing the food, I want to say getting the food made me laugh.

It says, I use the app because I want them to skate the food to me in the rain. Was it raining when you got there? I know it was raining today. No, not when I got there. It was raining this morning. Did they skate? No, they also just walked it. They very rarely actually skate.

You also can't go inside. You definitely can go inside. You literally told us people were going so. You definitely can go inside, but, um. You literally told us people were going inside. He absolutely said it. He's so stupid. He said, somehow that seems extra insulting.

Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! This whole episode. You're a fool sir uh huh thank you alright dum dum let's wrap this up yeah let's review the food Jordan

you got time what you thought what's so twisted Texas about it I don't get it well the onion rings and the chili dude it was a flat ass hamburger with chili on it here comes the 90 why was it smushed? Smushed ass hamburger

with some chili sloshed on it. I didn't... Look, remember the Friday's burger? Too tall. Too tall. They wanted to smush it for you. Somebody sat on it for me. It's fine. It's just a it's um it actually tastes pretty good the patties are good uh they grilled it up nice and it's fine i mean um the foot long quarter pound coney dog

thank god you said it right yeah we don't we don't lose another five but we will anyway now um that thing is a monster like it's huge man that well let me ask you this did that not come in the regular size? Because that's like the extra large. They have a regular hot dog. I was talking to my phone. That's the only size. It's my calculator. Grandpa, no.

No, stop using the windshield wipers. You liked it. Hello. They might have a different size. I only saw the one listed, so I just got the one that was listed. It's big. It's big, and it's a fucking mess. I ordered it on the app, and that was the only size on the app.

Okay. I had like two bites of it, because anything else was probably going to ruin my day. With all the other food we had to eat. You didn't have to eat all, I mean, picking cheese. You brought me tater tots. I have to eat them. So did Nick, but where did his end up, so. Oh, man, I forgot about that.

Don't worry, I took a picture. I made him do it so the grackles could feed. And they did. And then they came to you because they wanted more. They thanked me. On the king's car. Walked to me. I'm like the pigeon lady in Home Alone 2.

Nah, but with grackles and tater tots. I'm throwing out tater tots. But yeah, I mean, they're fine. It's perfectly average. I don't know. Just a 60 for me. Gotta be kidding me. It's whatevs. what do you mean you got to be kidding me oh this is good we were saying earlier that was the score that he gave it to saw dude yeah but this is better than

whatever shitty thing we had before but you wait what man that really threw Michael for a loop it did it did because it didn't make sense at all so I was reading a text message so I was half listening and then by the time it tunneled through my brain I didn't like it wait what the fuck did he say I'll fucking come over there

60 well I'll fucking come over there. 60? Well, I don't know how twisted it was. It was a good burger, though. I enjoyed it. I blinked and it was gone. I fucking inhaled it. I think I definitely would have rathered like two burgers instead of that hot dog. It's just a goddamn

mess. Their hot dog meat isn't nearly as good as their burger meat to me. And like, it's just like when you take a bite, it slides everywhere and the bun just like disintegrates. It's a reason why they give you a fucking fork. I was going to say they give you a fork

but not a knife. So how do you fucking use the fork? It doesn't make any sense. Great point. No difference. It's a reason why they give you a fucking fork. I was going to say they give you a fork, but not a knife. So how do you fucking use the fork? It doesn't make any sense. Great point. There's no difference. It's really, and they put it in like the little hot dog tray. But like, again, it's not useful because you can't pick it up and eat it like a hot dog without it falling to shit. It's really like you want to take it out, put it on a plate, cut it up and eat it. And at that point, like, what am I, four?

It's a hot dog. I just plate, cut it up and eat it. And at that point, like, what am I, four? It's a hot dog. I just want to pick it up and eat it. You seem kind of defeating the purpose of it. Right. Yeah. But if you're really dying for some, you know, pork-like substance or whatever the hell it is, sure, it's there.

The burger was really good, though. I'm so happy Eric got more cheddar poppers. I ate, like like six of them too many actually my tummy already hurts a little bit but I have to say with the burger

is higher than the hot dog probably like 94 average score of 77 oh man just under the damn almost as good yeah i guess that's that's just the face jam way it's it's not as good as the last thing that's crazy i didn't even know what the last one got rated too so it's wild that it came that close yeah crazy crazy what's your problem Eric loves this job and this podcast and it's ridiculous let's get into snack attack snacky time I thought that got canceled only for that do you have the budget for snack attack?

Yeah, last time we had to fake like we ate the food. We were so poor. What's he doing? What's going on? I think he just opened a CD case. He's making the snack. Is he doing a mixtape? What's going on?

Hey, here's my mixtape. Do we have to snort it off plastic? What the fuck is this? Yeah, are we doing lines? What is this? What off plastic? What the fuck is this? Yeah. Are we doing lines? What is this? What the hell? What the fuck? You can't hear it.

I heard something. We're doing lines and Nick went, ooh. This is so elaborate. What is it? Why did you have to open it like a CD case? What the fuck? It's lint chocolate. What a trick.

Hey, what the fuck is this? What the fuck? What the fuck it's lint chocolate what a trick hey what the fuck is this what the fuck okay okay let me walk you through before he tells us what it is let me walk you through before eric tells it hang on he's putting his headphones back on he still can't afford the wireless yet um let me tell you before we you tell us what this is, he had to unveil it. And it's like, okay, it's chocolate. It's stuck in my tooth. It's like a dark chocolate. You take a bite, there is zero,

zero flavor of chocolate in any way. And it tastes like no sugar. Take chocolate and sugar out of a chocolate bar. And that's what this tastes like this is fucking disgusting I think all of us spit it out simultaneously I've never spit out candy before

it's just so I hate to say it dry and like sandy I'm drinking water but I'm still dry what the hell it's like the opposite of candy

Yeah, what the fuck is this it is Lind? Pure dark chocolate from Eric and Woodstock on All like baking chocolate fuck off. That's exactly what it that's what like it tastes like to me. It tastes like baking chocolate I thought it was like to me. It tastes like baking chocolate. I thought it was like for diabetics where it was like no sugar and light calories. This is not for human consumption. No way. Yeah, you should feed that to dogs. I don't know about the ground, but I don't want the-

Do you have any onions I can wrap this in? I threw mine on the ground, but I don't want the grumpets to eat it. You know what this is? This is a trick You put this out for someone who loves chocolate And you will ruin their day This is terrible It's terrible That's like one of the worst things I think we've ever eaten

This is the worst snack we've ever had It's so bad Was there a note? What's the note attached? How does he explain this? You're not going to want to read this. You're not going to want the note. Here, I'll read it and we can cut it out. Let me think.

Oh, is it like a joke? Hi, guys. Big fan. Oh, yeah. Hang on. This is my favorite chocolate. So you read this and still thought this was a good idea? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You know what's funny, though? You know what's funny? I thought it was going to be, that was awful. But I also thought it was going to be like, this sucks. He thinks this is good. Yes, he thinks it's good. I thought that, no. And you know what's funny, though? You know what's funny? I thought it was going to be, that was awful. But I also thought it was going to be like, this sucks. He thinks this is good. Yes, he thinks it's good. I thought that too. So, that's fine. I thought the joke was going to be like, it sucks. And then I wondered why Eric

gave it to us. So, we're not going to give him any credit. He's going to get that satisfaction. But we're going to tell him how disgusting this chocolate is. Absolutely. That all stays in. It's absolutely, this is maybe the worst snack we've ever, we've gotten bugs that we threw away. I'll say this. Of everything we've's absolutely this is maybe the worst snack we've ever we've gotten bugs that we throw away of everything i'll say this might be the worst this is easily the worst chocolate i've ever eaten in my life in my life in my life baking

chocolate and this is i mean it's 100 i i don't understand like it has no flavor except awful it tastes like sand it tastes like no sugar there's no like no sugar flavor it's dark to a level where it's like i feel like it should be called burnt chocolate and then it's like eating sand you know this fucking sucks there's a medicine that you can take um if you're if you're, like, narcotics abuse so that you don't get high off stuff. Yes. This is that for chocolate. It is. I never want to eat chocolate again because of this.

The craziest part is, like, I'm still holding it, and, like, don't worry, it still melts like chocolate, so it's still annoying. It smells like regular chocolate. It looks like regular chocolate. I saw it. Why do they make this? It had lint. It snaps like regular chocolate. It looks like regular chocolate. Why did they make this? It had lint. It snaps like chocolate? It sketched into the chocolate.

It was like, ooh, lint, a good treat for me. It is. Next thing I knew, I was spitting it out. Yep. It was, I kept waiting for the flavor to come, and it didn't. No, it did not. Well, not good. Point one.

Point one. Point one. Wait, can we do that? I mean, you can go as low as you'd like. What would you like? He's one. One? Point five five. We went under the lowest number.

Yes, correct. But you know what? Deserved. This deserves it. This absolutely deserves it. Yeah. This is the worst snack anyone's ever sent us. Oh, my God.

I can't believe it. And it's chocolate. Yep. That's why I picked it because I thought it would be a nice sweet thing. We weren't eating anything sweet. It wasn't a nice sweet thing. Here's the thing. If that's what they were going for, well done.

If they were going for, you want the worst chocolate you've ever eaten, you've done it. Yep. I don't know what they were going for, but they did it. It makes a lot of sense that this person's name is Eric. Yeah. He got you. He's got the shidest touch, too. Was it you? That's got the shidest touch, too. Was it you?

That's a callback. It's just long enough that I forgot, and it's funny again. It looks like someone shidest all over my hands now. Just throw it out the window. This is how bad it is. It's chocolate, and I don't want to just throw it away, because then I'll lick my fingers, and I don't want to. I don't want to lick the chocolate off my fingers.

What happened? I'll never look at chocolate the same way again. Nope. I'm different now. I'll never look at this chocolate again. 0.55, the worst snack we've ever received. Congratulations. Thank you. way to go.

That fucking sucked. If you have something that can top that, send it to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. You can stay up to date with everything Face Jam related at Face Jam Pod on Twitter and on Instagram. We did it.

So there you go. And then here we go announcing Face Jam Ghost Kitchen. It's a live event on May 21st only on Rooster Teeth. You can buy tickets to an exclusive Q&A and a meet and greet. You can watch the show live.

That's free. But if you want the meet and greet and Q&A, you can buy a ticket. That'll be on live May 21st. We're going to be doing a crazy Ghost Kitchen segment. Who knows what it'll be. He's scared. He's scared of the chocolate, which he's still holding. Both. Yeah.

I'm going to wait until we're done and then throw it away. Hurry up, Eric. We will also have new merch coming out on March 20th. Jesus Christ. We'll also have new merch coming out on March Jesus Christ. We'll also have new merch coming out on May 21st that will go with the Face Jam Ghost Kitchen

show. Really cool designs and it's spooky. It's great. You can go to store.roosterteeth.com and get all your Face Jam stuff there. So check it out. Thank you for listening. If you got a piece of this chocolate with the merch. Oh boy, that's scary. I don't like that. Well, you licked my finger this chocolate with the merch. Oh, boy, that's scary. I don't like that.

Will you lick my feet? No, absolutely not. Jordan, take us out. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Don't send it to anyone who has the shidest touch. Don't send it to any Erics. We've got enough of that. Goodbye.

Is that it? Yeah, the end. What an episode. It's just in. The show is over. The show is over. Don't worry. I didn't cut yet, so we can still use it.

The show is over, and we have received the lowest rated snack in the history of Face Jam. It was a.55, lower than the score would even allow. But the shidest touch is real, and the chocolate is bad. We'll see you in the next Fortnite, everybody. Heroes out.