100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 10

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Order in the court, the FOOD COURT! Our Hero Judges are back to rule on more cases from you loyal bugs. This week it's pasta salad, but not the way you think, the ultimate gainz meal, and cooking stea...ks in a dishwasher. Sponsored by Shady Rays (http://shadyrays.com code FACEJAM), Nuts.com (http://nuts.com/facejam), and HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejamfree code facejamfree). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Imagine yourself in Ottawa, surrounded by thousands of vibrant tulips, and discovering your new favourite microbrew, before cycling along scenic bike paths and wandering through a museum in awe. Adventure awaits in Ottawa, from O to Ah. Plan your getaway at ottawatourism.ca LCA. Sorry, can't hear you. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does.
Starting point is 00:00:37 I'm your host, Jordan Swearis, alongside my co-host, Michael Jones. Michael, how are you? Are you ready for the second betrayal? Oh, this sucks. No, I'm tired. You said that and Gracie got up and I just went, I won't do it. The look on your face as you looked at Gracie. He gave all the energy last night. It was everything that I had.
Starting point is 00:00:53 No, I'm tired just from the roller coaster and all the candy. Yeah. Yeah, I'm crashing hard. There's a lot of sugar to take in. A lot of sour to take in. A lot of steezes. Yeah. A lot of chemicals. Well, I mean, think about if you got a giant Diet Dr. Pepper, that could have been yours. Right? of sour to take in. A lot of... A lot of chemicals.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Think about if you got a giant diet Dr. Pepper. That could have been yours. We should get Gracie. No. Hopefully you listen to these in order. Or listen to them at all. She has not stopped spraying the blue bread. She won't stop. We went to go do the pickle thing,
Starting point is 00:01:21 which is outrageous, by the way. First member. Yeah. Gotta be first to see it. It's extra special. When we came back from that, cleaned up the mess. Yes. Oh, everywhere. And then we walk into the room, and I'm not even looking and I hear,
Starting point is 00:01:36 it was as soon as we walked in. And I was like, Jesus Christ. She's eating the crybaby tears. She's spritzing the warhead shit. Well, this goes back to her whole fry argument. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:49 It's just things she wants. I think this is going back to the thing where I don't know if Gracie can't taste. We'll see. I don't know, but she says she tastes the sour. She does.
Starting point is 00:02:01 And she likes it. The hot she can't taste, which is still wrong. Yeah, I mean, I acknowledge that this is sour. I just enjoy it. I it. The hot she can't taste, which is still wrong. I acknowledge that this is sour. I just enjoy it. I acknowledge. That's how everyone else feels with heat.
Starting point is 00:02:11 I acknowledge it's hot, but I like it. You go, nope, not hot. The super mega hot-o-bar is not hot at all. Oh, man. But now we are really doing food court. Yeah, now we really have a food court. That's great that we really only had one solid idea. Insane.
Starting point is 00:02:27 It worked perfectly to get Nick his free food and then get the betrayal in. It was perfect. We were able to squeeze in a betrayal. Today couldn't be going any better. Yeah, we all love it. I'm going to be honest, it's having a great day. We didn't squeeze it in. It needed to fill a slot.
Starting point is 00:02:44 But we anticipated. We got it. We knew it It needed to fill a slot. But we anticipated. We got it. We knew it was going to happen. Insane. Eric, do you feel silly about making the whole episode, the first episode about that drink now? Yeah, whatever. Because Michael was saying before we started recording,
Starting point is 00:02:59 he was just like, he brought it up. I just like that. Michael was just like, oh, this guy's going to get, he thinks he's not getting hammered now. I just like for the audience to be in my mind for a second. If you've listened to all three of these spit and stillies in a row now, when the whole cup conversation
Starting point is 00:03:13 was going on in the first one and Eric's like, I can't believe you guys are dogpiling. We already knew what was about to happen. And the tension in the room that Eric didn't know existed. Maybe it was excitement. Michael described you as a dead man.
Starting point is 00:03:30 I really was. I was blindfolded being walked down to the gallows and I was going, guys, this is getting pretty crazy. I don't know what's happening. It was like casino or something where you're going to get executed and you don't know that.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I have no idea yet. But on the way, you get into another argument and you're like, I can't believe you guys are arguing with me. I just feel so attacked right now. I'm going out on the little boat. I'm about to have a good time. I'm on the boat. He's not on trial now.
Starting point is 00:03:59 No, you're on trial. You are on trial. If you email facejampod at roosterteeth.com, you can send your food conundrums. Gracie has picked some really incredible food court cases that we're going to go through now. I have one that stood out to me so well, I remember it. What was it?
Starting point is 00:04:18 Like, actually. No, Nick's out of here. He's gone, dude. He said, and then continued to leave. He went to go find a gavel. I don't know which ones Gracie has. And also we have 500 million. So there's no way it's one that she saw, but I don't have the, the names or anything off
Starting point is 00:04:35 the top of my head. But the story was, it was so fascinating and rare to me, I think, where they were like, you know, it's always, Hey, I do this thing. And you know, my friends say that's crazy. Am I right or wrong? This was them, if I recall correctly, it was basically someone saying, uh, I eat, uh,
Starting point is 00:04:52 shrimp. I eat, like, shrimp cocktail. And, uh, I'm always under the impression that, like, it's cooked. Like, even, even, like, food, like, served. Food court raw shrimp is normal? Yes. It's that one. Hello, honorable judges and the monkey master. This is from...
Starting point is 00:05:07 He left the room. He's not here. Good. This is Zeth. My favorite Final Fantasy VIII character. Xenogears is great. Close. I recently got into a bit of a heated argument about shrimps.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Yes, I understand y'all think they're bugs, but hey, I like them. Aside from that, a couple of my buddies and I were talking and there was a scene in a movie where a girl was eating raw crab. Not that odd as I've seen it in many other cultures, but the real problem comes from me mentioning raw shrimp sushi and then them saying that eating raw shrimp is the most normal way to eat them. Like going to a potluck party or having raw shrimp in a cocktail sauce. Okay. I heard this and I was at a total loss for words and slight outrage as the only way I've
Starting point is 00:06:04 ever eaten raw shrimp normally is in nigiri sushi. So he's eaten fucking raw shrimp. Yeah, that's not normally in quotes. Yeah. So what's the problem? I humbly await your judgment as this is either a food crime or that I'm crazy or that I'm crazy.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Never viewing this as something that people eat on a regular basis. So he thinks that uncooked is wrong. This whole argument P.S. This whole argument was myself against five other people. Did you really have to write into the podcast then? He wrote into five other people.
Starting point is 00:06:38 What stood out to me though, hang on. What stood out to me there is the shrimp cocktail part. Yeah. Is that not cooked? Yeah. That's my point. I don't eat shrimp. That's always cooked. I think so, isn't it? Again, I stand. I feel like
Starting point is 00:06:53 it sounds like five people were just like, nah, it's always uncooked. And he's going, I've had it uncooked like sushi style, but every other style is cooked. And they're saying, no, it's always uncooked all the time. I feel like I don't know what shrimp cocktail looks like all of a sudden. Cooked, served cold. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:06 I feel like it could be both. Shrimp cocktail, raw or cooked from delish.com. If you've ever wondered, is shrimp cocktail served raw? The answer is no. The shrimp is boiled until pink and cooked through, then chilled, and then chilled and served. So I don't know that I've ever eaten a raw shrimp. I don't think I have. Right. I might be in the same boat as Zell
Starting point is 00:07:30 here. I feel like that's what it is. Yeah, I know. But I don't eat shrimp. I think he's right though. I've only ever had it in that nigiri form. What stood out to me was the five people saying you eat raw shrimp cocktail.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Right. And I don't think you do. Right. So in a rare occurrence, the one getting bodied by five people is right. It's why it stood out to me. It's why it stood out to me. I had to defend this person, I think, for a food I don't eat. But is the question, what is the default?
Starting point is 00:08:01 The default way to eat it is cooked. It's cooked. I think so, yeah. Like the sushi is the exception. Right, which is what they said. Yeah. So you're right. Your five friends are wrong.
Starting point is 00:08:10 Seth, you've done it. Hammer them. Get a gavel and just pound it in their fucking faces. What the fuck? Okay, Jordan has a little hammer. Jordan has a hammer and a... So, listen. I asked...
Starting point is 00:08:24 Did you get a picture? Oh, yeah. I asked Nick for one of the gavels And he said he didn't have one I said go look, maybe the merch place has it He came back and he said no, they don't have one And I go, oh that's disappointing And then he held up a hammer And I was like, alright I guess
Starting point is 00:08:37 And then he gave me this coaster So that's what we're using It's a quick coaster too Oh wow, it works! But try it on the table No, don't try it on the table. No, don't try it on the table. Do it light.
Starting point is 00:08:48 In what world? Yeah, it's just a claw side. You pounded a hammer against a cork thing and Nick went, wow, it works. Yeah, it made sound. In what world would it not work? Well, he could have hit it and you heard nothing. Yeah, it could have gone quack. It could have went.
Starting point is 00:09:04 In a world where you just hit it and it goes... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt the whole thing on there. I read a lot of these and I went, I think this one person might be right. I think coming in with a real left field one, into it. And also, it shows that if you email
Starting point is 00:09:20 facejampot at roosterteeth.com with your food conundrum, you might be right. The odds are slim. They are slim. So slim. It could happen. But now we have proved that it happens.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Hang on. I agree. Nick has held up a sign. Just ice. He reads justice. Oh. Just us. Well, Seth, let your friends know that they're wrong and you're right and they're idiots
Starting point is 00:09:45 and then make them eat shrimp. You have permission to hammer them. Yeah, get a gavel hammer. Don't use a hammer. You're holding a hammer near your phone and it's just stressing me out. Oh, he faked it. My heart jumped out of my body. It really is. They're right next to each other. I'm too old for this. Hope I don't miss.
Starting point is 00:10:02 Hey, here's the here's our next case. Your honors, when I eat pasta with red sauces, I like to mix my salad with it. It can be a Caesar salad or a salad with a garlicky ranch. I will eat this combination primarily in a bowl. Dude, I was barely hanging on with them But for whatever reason, the bowl Just to make the mixing easier
Starting point is 00:10:29 But I don't mind if plates are the only dish available My girlfriend thinks this is insane But I just like the creaminess and extra garlic flavor If I'm found innocent Will you grant me a pass from ridicule from my girlfriend? Loyal Jammer Chase I don't think you have to worry about that I don't think you have to worry about that.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I don't think you have to worry about how we're going to get that pass to you. If only there was a sauce that was kind of creamy and garlicky. I love pasta. I love pasta. But I wish you could have garlic. I just wish you could have garlic without making it a salad. It's the only way. What the hell are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:11:03 There's pasta. What are you talking about? There's pasta. What are you talking about? There's pasta that you can like put spinach in. Yeah. You can do everything that you're talking about, but cook it into like the food. Just getting, I just picture a bunch of spaghetti. And then he goes, where's my salad bowl?
Starting point is 00:11:18 And then dumping it on the salad and mixing it around and then sitting down and watching an episode of a show. It's just like, you're a freak. Regular Thursday night. God damn. Uh, I love letters like this that are like,
Starting point is 00:11:30 this is a weird thing. I kind of do. I'm like, I'm not on board, but I'd love to hear your justification. And I was expecting this to just be like, I just like, uh,
Starting point is 00:11:39 the texture or something. He really didn't mention the salad at all. Yeah. But then he described, I like how, I like how it's creamy. There's creamy sauces! With garlic in them. Most sauces
Starting point is 00:11:49 are creamy. But he's saying red sauce specifically, which is kind of a little more chunky. Right. Okay, true. It can be chunkier. Right, it seems like just... But you can also add a bunch of garlic to it. Do you know a lot of them come with it? Like right on the jar. He says, garlic.
Starting point is 00:12:08 So, I mean, I probably wouldn't rule in Chase's favor if, barring this explanation, like already the salad and pasta combination sounds bad, but his justification for it is so illogical and kind of dumb that it has nothing to do with the salad. Yeah, that I can't rule in his favor. No! Why would... I like that he said
Starting point is 00:12:33 the heats instead of the bowls. But... I will use a plate. Well, it's like if Gracie brought me a Coke, I'd drink it. But she didn't do that. The nothing is my bowl. Well, it's like if Gracie brought me a Coke, I'd drink it. Yeah. But she didn't do that. But she didn't. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:12:48 The nothing is my bowl. The Coke is a plate. I'll use it if I got it. I prefer nothing, but I'm not going to turn it down. So what do we say to Chase? I don't know. Again, I feel like either there's missing information there. I don't think there's any missing information. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:04 You wish you could get garlic flavor with your pasta. Why don't you just try putting the flavors you like in your pasta? You don't even need a... You can just put garlic in. Yeah. Like, just the garlic itself. And who knows? Maybe if you've never had...
Starting point is 00:13:16 If this is the only way you've eaten pasta and salad, you might find that they're better separate. That might... Put one in a plate and one in a bowl and never should the, never, never should the twain meet. Like,
Starting point is 00:13:29 like, again, if you're talking cold, like pasta with, like oil, like vinegar and mozzarella and tomatoes. Like a pasta salad
Starting point is 00:13:39 sort of situation, but not like this. Yeah, that, in my head, it's like, okay, there's like,
Starting point is 00:13:44 there's greens, it's salad-esque. Yes. Yeah. But it's in my head is like, okay, there's like, there's greens. It's salad-esque. Yes. But it's not just, here's a salad, put spaghetti in it. Which I think is what they're saying. That is exactly what they're saying. I can't agree with that. I can't agree with that.
Starting point is 00:13:57 No, no, no, no. You should let your girlfriend know that you wrote into a podcast and they hammered you for it. Literally. Wow. That's a good ruling. I can't believe it worked. Greatest duos trading cards have arrived at Tim's
Starting point is 00:14:11 with two hockey icons on every card. Like Matthew and Brady Kachuk, rivals, teammates, family, and more. Connected like never before. Head to Tim's and get yours today at participating restaurants in Canada. As the world's population grows, so does the need for resources like Potash
Starting point is 00:14:29 to support sustainable food production. This is why BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable Potash mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Is crypto perfect? Nope. But neither was email when it was invented in 1972. And yet today, we send 347 billion emails every single day. Crypto is no different. It's new, but like email, it's also revolutionary. With Kraken, it's easy to start your crypto journey with 24-7 support when you need it. Go to Kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See Kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm so excited for this next one. Oh. I'm buckling up. Hey, buckle the fuck up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:36 My honorable and humble judges, I write to you today to clear my name as a disgusting freak. My friends and even spouse have called me this and worse for eating tuna fish, mayo, and hot sauce sandwich accompanied by a Greek yogurt and mint chocolate chip protein powder mix. They say the two dishes do not belong near each other. It's not like I'm actively scooping mint yogurt onto my sandwich or something crazy like that. Do I interchange bites? Yes. But I'm not chewing both at the same time and have water in between some of those bites,
Starting point is 00:16:15 so it resets the palate. Some of those bites. I also haven't even begun to think about the calories to protein ratio of this meal. I need a lot of protein to fuel my gains, something my fellow honorable muscle-bound monster presiding over this case will understand. Jordan, that's me.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Their words have cut me so deep that I'd like to enter a countersuit for slander. The only thing I'm seeking is their food court first. Exactly. The only thing I'm seeking is their... A face jam food court first. Exactly. The only thing I'm seeking is their eternal thanks for the gains I pursue. In conclusion, clear me of the accusations.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Dogpile on their grubby little asses for not thinking of protein content. Order them to respect slash validate me, please. Many thanks, Tom. Please validate me, literally. Tuna mayo and hot sauce sandwich Alright so that's meal one Tuna mayo hot sauce sandwich And then he has a greek yogurt
Starting point is 00:17:11 That he mixes mint chocolate chip protein powder into The mint chocolate protein powder Mixed into the yogurt Sounds like the worst part That is Cause I just don't like mint chocolate Same The thing That gets me That is... Because I just don't like mint chocolate. Same. Same. Sounds bad. Unfortunate odds for you.
Starting point is 00:17:26 The thing that gets me is that it's the specific mint chocolate chip. Yeah. If he's working out and he has a bunch, you know, he's taking in protein and everything, I'm sure he's had other protein flavors. Right. There's several. He's not saying... You're honing in on the one you
Starting point is 00:17:45 like he's he's not saying i've done this with vanilla i've done this with double chocolate i've done this with rocky road he keeps specifying this is the fucking thing that his little freak gains mind has locked into where he's eating tuna fish mayo and hot sauce and then a yogurt with mint chocolate chip protein powder in it. Like, that's the specific part is the mint chocolate chip. Why? What? Why? I don't have anything against the mint chocolate chip, but it's the thing that he's so zeroed in on.
Starting point is 00:18:21 I need you to know, it's this one. That sounds vile. Also, I have water sometimes in between bites. I don't think the two things together is close enough to
Starting point is 00:18:37 disgusting freak zone, honestly. It's not what I would eat. Two things as in the yogurt and the mint or the sandwich and the yogurt and the mint or the sandwich and the yogurt. I feel like, do you find that particularly egregious?
Starting point is 00:18:52 I also hate mayonnaise. It's getting there. Well, listen. Well, it's with tuna fish. I wouldn't eat any of this, but I won't hang on that. I don't feel like it's the most disgusting thing anyone's ever said. It's not like it's salad and pasta. It's not.
Starting point is 00:19:06 I would say it's better than that. In a bowl or on a plate? I think it's worse than salad and pasta. You think it's worse? I definitely, I agree with Gracie. I think it's worse than salad and pasta. I could just, he's thumbs down and over there. But I know he hates gains.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Yes, he does. No, you're not. You're either with him or you're his enemy. He was big thumbs down over there. It's true. Uh, it's just whimpering.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Oh, man, I don't, I mean, there's, there's, there's separate conversations here though, right?
Starting point is 00:19:35 You can't, you can't. There are better ways. There are other ways, not better. And also, I'm just going to say, very specific,
Starting point is 00:19:41 I understand the sentiment here, but don't think you can come in with any case whatsoever and go, but it's protein. So, you know. Yeah. That's sorry, sir. That's not going to work. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:51 Okay. Flattery. Flattery. Flattery. Too many sprays. Nowhere. Too many sprays. Flattery will get you nowhere.
Starting point is 00:20:00 My tongue. My tongue is so sour. I just like, you can do a thing. I say this all the time on FoodCorp. You can do a thing that's like, hey, if that's your freak weird thing and it works for you, that's fine. But you can't, you don't get to do it and go, and it's totally normal. That's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:20:17 And it's totally normal. And I, as in there is said, need to be validated for it. It's like, that's, you can't always have it both ways. Sometimes if that's your thing and that's how you get your muscle-bound freak gains and that works for you, that's fine, but you take the good with the bad.
Starting point is 00:20:31 You're going to be labeled as some kind of monster. You let the gains do the talking. It's true. You don't let the food. I'll be honest, you maybe need to eat some more of them, get big enough,
Starting point is 00:20:40 nobody will dare to fucking say that to your face. That's what I'm talking about. Nobody's calling Michael a disgusting freak. Who said it? Where are they? I said no one. Yeah, face. That's what I'm talking about. Nobody's calling Michael a disgusting freak. Who said it? Where are they? I said no one. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:20:49 No one in this room, surely. Just checking. Nick's, uh-uh. So it was me. So what do you rule? That he needs to get bigger? I think, like, again want if you want acceptance you have to give up your own personality a little bit right if you want to be cool you gotta act cool yeah okay you can't act uncool you don't tell me i'm cool yeah you don't get i'm gonna be my truest self no matter what but
Starting point is 00:21:20 you have to like me that's true you have to i. You either got to get a little phony and get the acceptance you want or you stick with it. So I'm not outwardly against this disgusting combination. I wouldn't eat it. But I am against touting it as totally normal and everyone does it. And you have to do it for the gains. You know what I did for gains today? I ate a fucking turkey sandwich. It was 40 grams of protein.
Starting point is 00:21:45 And 46 carbs. And it was a sandwich and I bought it and I ate it and I drank it with water. Did you put any mint chocolate chip powder on it? No. And I got 40 grams. And then I ate way later, this Whataburger double chili cheeseburger. More protein. There's nothing mint.
Starting point is 00:22:02 There's no things combining with, I'm just saying, it's possible. So don't try to, you know, suck up to the judges. As much as we like it. But that's almost more... You love getting sucked up.
Starting point is 00:22:19 That's waiting for Michael to buzz that one out. You can't do that and then cover your mouth and laugh so hard leaning away from the microphone. What do you mean? Just hang him out to dry here. That's why we're an audio podcast. If I ever somehow had the brain capacity to do stand-up, which I never would, I would laugh the entire time.
Starting point is 00:22:48 It would be so obnoxious. I'd be like, that's funny. That's fucking funny. If I were you guys out there, I'd be cracking up. They would be laughing. I would just be laughing with them. He tells the jokes, he shouldn't laugh. I wrote it, I'm gonna laugh.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Gracie's having more of this fucking shit. I think I'm hilarious. I just saw something happening out of the corner of my eye. Awesome. Alright,
Starting point is 00:23:10 what's the ruling on this guy? Um, just accept that some people are gonna call you a disgusting freak because some people find that a little
Starting point is 00:23:18 disgusting, you freak. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's nowhere near normal. Yeah. It's not so normal that we have to, but it's nowhere near normal. Yeah. It's not so normal that we have to... Congratulations on the gains, though.
Starting point is 00:23:29 Honestly, like, do what you gotta do. But, like, we're not gonna... You don't gotta do that. Yeah. We're not gonna... We're not gonna countersue your family for not being with it. Crunch fit bars or whatever they are with that chef on it. They're great.
Starting point is 00:23:43 What's up? Robert Irvine. He knows. Countersuit denied. He knows. He knows about gains. Countersuit denied. Countersuit denied.
Starting point is 00:23:50 No validation here. Sorry. Great. Fennifish, not as much protein as I thought. It's all right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Man, turkey. I wish turkey tasted better. Yeah. I wish it tasted better. You don't like it? I mean it's good but it's not like oh yeah
Starting point is 00:24:07 I mean it just doesn't taste like anything it's about what you put on it on a sandwich that's the problem like tuna fish is good that's like yeah a lot of protein in sushi? I don't think so
Starting point is 00:24:18 I don't think a lot bummer yeah mostly carbs I was thinking we should do a sushi episode you know where there's a lot of protein? you love sushi. Which is crazy because I just saw you put it in there.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Alright, that's enough. Sour sushi? Panda Express. Oh yeah, Panda Express chicken teriyaki. Insane. By the time this episode comes out. 36 grams in entree, which is like that. You get the triple plate?
Starting point is 00:24:40 Yeah. That's like 99. 108 grams. Close. That's like 99. 108 grams. Close. That's great. By the time this episode comes out, we'll have, I think, done this, but Panda Express,
Starting point is 00:24:51 I put it in our Slack channel, Blazing Bourbon Chicken. Gracie's going to love this. No, she's not, because it's not going to be spicy. That's what you think. Blazing Bourbon Chicken, crispy boneless chicken bites,
Starting point is 00:25:04 fresh veggies, all wok tossed in a spicy blazing bourbon chicken crispy boneless chicken bites fresh veggies all wok tossed in a spicy and sweet bourbon sauce alongside the signature hot ones last dab
Starting point is 00:25:13 Apollo hot sauce whoa let's go do we have to sign a waiver to eat this let's go let's go down he's fucking screaming
Starting point is 00:25:20 over there but I mean it's the end I mean we'll do no today yeah right honey I'm working late that's not out yet watch the kid you're on your own Jesus Christ fucking screaming over there. But I mean, it's the end of the, I mean, we'll do it. No, today! Yeah, right. Honey, I'm working late!
Starting point is 00:25:26 That's not out yet. You're on your own. Jesus Christ. That'll be the next episode though, so that'll be, that'll be good. Oh! I,
Starting point is 00:25:35 again, this is like such a hot topic because as, even though we couldn't grant their appeal or their counter suit, I'm a protein fiend. Oh, I,
Starting point is 00:25:44 Alfredo and I, super big on... He's the t-shirt podcast. Super big on Panda lately and the chicken teriyaki. The second you sent that bourbon in, I went, Alfredo, I don't have the macros yet.
Starting point is 00:25:56 But we got another Panda Express on our hands. He's like, what's going on here? Check it out. What is it? The second you said vegetables though, it's going to be less. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:03 That's the beauty of the teriyaki. They don't give you shit. They just pile chicken on. Are you at like one, one and a half grams of protein per pound? No, I don't. That's hard. You're just trying to get as much as you can. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:16 I try to do at least like one. Yeah. Like one gram per pound. That's success for me. If I could do more, I could do more. And that's because the thing is you can do more I could do more and that's because the thing is you can't eat all at once anyway
Starting point is 00:26:26 right like it's it'll fuel you but you can't just like eat 150 grams in the morning and then be done it's like water
Starting point is 00:26:34 you gotta do it throughout the day that's what I'm doing wrong that's what you're doing wrong you keep waking up and doing 200 grams 200 wake up 50 eggs is too many eggs
Starting point is 00:26:41 and he keeps doing it no it's the mint chocolate powder well he's mixing with the eggs. No, it's just the powder. I've been getting the triple entree plate with the side of chow mein, which in its entirety right there is 121 grams. And so, because it's the three entrees,
Starting point is 00:26:58 and even the chow mein's 13. They're 36 an entree. Times three, 108. It's not 99, you dummy. It's not 99, you dummy. I've been screaming it from the rooftops once I found out. So if I eat that meal, I try and like,
Starting point is 00:27:12 I eat the chow mein and then half the chicken and then eat half the chicken later and I go, that's 120 for the day. That's insane. That's crazy. One like chicken sandwich after that
Starting point is 00:27:20 puts me basically at my weight. And you're right there. 160. Let's go. He wants to go. We're not going now. Well, hang on. We could get the teriyaki.
Starting point is 00:27:27 And then we could start asking about the burpee. We got all the tonal heads who are listening to the podcast satisfied. Let's get to the next. That was the Panda Express. Yeah, just send this one to your guy. Just send this episode to your guy. Hey, I'm going to skip the one that you have as number three. I want to go to four.
Starting point is 00:27:43 I want to go to four. I was going to say let's skip three. This is a good one to sort of cap us off. You're the sonographer. What is Gracie's role now in the courtroom? She's the court. Judges. He's the bailiff. History.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Oh, she could be the artist. Like draws the people. Sketch artist. Yeah, yeah, sketch artist. Gracie's drawing the people by putting them in a Google Doc. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. So. She the people by putting them in a Google Doc. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. So.
Starting point is 00:28:07 She's going to draw you and you're going to look like shit. That's amazing. You're going to look like Tom Brady in his picture. Great, thanks. All right, get to it. This is the last one.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Facejampod.com slash first if you want to sign up and support us directly. Watch all of our weird stuff, but here's this. So, I've been told that this is a food crime. I cook my steaks
Starting point is 00:28:28 in the dishwasher. Oh, I read this one too. Not just open, of course, I vacuum seal them. Dry brine them overnight, then garlic pepper powder for seasoning vacuum seal. So they're like sous-viding them in the dishwasher? Throw them in the dishwasher for about 35 minutes. What this does is make, it's a makeshift sous-vide.
Starting point is 00:28:44 I don't have the room for a traditional or standard sous vide in my kitchen. Then I take them out and pan sear them to finish them. They're delicious. This is a food crime. Michael. No. No, it's the person. I clear it.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Really? Oh, they're asking me. No, I clear that. You're good with it. Yeah. If it's sealed, that's ingenious. It's hard to find a fault with it Especially if you don't have Especially if you don't have the room
Starting point is 00:29:08 To actually do the sous vide If your food ain't getting dish washed Which I think you know of it did It sounds crazy How's it that different than an air fryer I don't know Do we know if Okay
Starting point is 00:29:23 Is he running it without like a detergent or anything? Yeah, he must be. Or is he Or is he washing the dishes? I bet. Hey. Is he trying to be as efficient as possible? You fucking know that he does it with dishes in there but he tells people, no he doesn't.
Starting point is 00:29:40 Air fryer is just a convection oven. Thanks, man. Cool. I said air fryer. Yeah. Oh, okay. I said it wrong. Here's i said air fryer yeah okay here's the thing about a sous vide here's the thing about a sous vide a sous vide is a controlled temperature that it will never go over so when you cook your steak in a sous vide to reverse like to pan sear it afterward it's not reaching over if you set it say 125 or whatever it is that you set you're throwing
Starting point is 00:30:07 a vacuum sealed steak into a dishwasher that has no temperature control sure it's just hot right that's a problem
Starting point is 00:30:14 no it's hot always same temperature just what you're saying yeah I think so and wet is it not
Starting point is 00:30:21 what I'm saying is that the temperature could fluctuate. It's not a sous vide. It's just a dishwasher. I know. You missed the part where he said he didn't have room for one. How much room do you think
Starting point is 00:30:36 you need for a sous vide? How big? Room this big? Two of these rooms. I don't know. You need like a three bedroom house. The size of this laptop. Dish pepper. Pepper. Pepper instead of washer.
Starting point is 00:30:50 All right. You're in timeout. I don't know what he's going on about. You're in timeout. A sous vide is a stick that you stick down in water. And I have. Like a dishwasher. Water.
Starting point is 00:31:02 I have a setup that is no bigger width-wise or anything than this laptop. Okay. I don't agree that he doesn't have the space. All right. And if this is really what he's going to do, it's not controlled the way he thinks. Okay. Right. I mean...
Starting point is 00:31:16 However, now, all these could be fair points. I don't know. They're coming from Eric, but they could be. And it sounds like he's the most committed because he has a sous vide. Yes. Right. But... So he's already spent the money, and he has a sous vide. Yes. But. So he's already spent the money and he's in their pocket.
Starting point is 00:31:33 He actually, every time one sells, he does well. Yeah. We'll say that. Right. He says it again. Put the smile on my face. That's what I'm saying. Did he disclose that?
Starting point is 00:31:37 Here's the thing. I feel like we may be losing it a little bit here on, yes, it's not the proper way to do it. Yes, Eric has the real one. but does this work and does it taste good is what I'm wondering, right? Well, look, and I feel like there's only one way to find out. You've got to be kidding me. We put a pin in this. Oh, no, we're pinning it. Oh, I mean, we have
Starting point is 00:31:57 dishwashers here. Eric, can we do a blind comparison? Yeah. I don't think, again, I'm not comparing it to an actual one. I think we should. I mean, we could. We should. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:32:08 One could end up tasting better. One could make us sicker. No. Well, we got right back to see if he uses detergent before we cook it. Let us know, Michael, if you use detergent. Not me. The other one, yeah. I feel, look, and I'm willing to say put a pin in,
Starting point is 00:32:24 because I'm inclined to immediately agree and give them the green light on this. But I'm willing to table that until I get to taste it myself. I wasn't really worried about the taste, because it seemed like at least it was getting sous-vide enough. But when Eric brought up the kind of food safety concerns, maybe I was leaning the other way. This is the guy that ate the stereo with me, though. That's true. So now he's bringing up safety concerns. Maybe I was winning the other way. This is the guy that ate Listeria with me, though. That's true.
Starting point is 00:32:48 So now he's bringing up safety concerns. He's in Big Suvi's pocket. Fucked up. He's upset about this. I don't even know if I want to try a dishwasher prep. He's shaking his head. After everything he's been through today, he hates how this is how it's ending.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Yeah, I threw a stick in a dishwasher. It's like a sous vide. No, it's not. With more like a sous vide than cooking on the grill. Right. It is. It's the closest thing that you have. It's the closest thing you can get.
Starting point is 00:33:16 With space that limits. Holding it under, like running water in the sink is more like sous vide than cooking it on the grill. Correct, yes. There are steps. But this is better than that. There's a are steps. But this is better than that. There's a spectrum of everything. This is better than that.
Starting point is 00:33:28 You're starting to learn that things are nuanced. That's very good. Yeah. That's what I'm learning. Well, you learn the nuance of different sour. Ugh. Ugh. No.
Starting point is 00:33:36 We're all the same. Terrible. All right. So I guess the ruling is we have to try this? I'm just saying. Why wouldn't we? I agree with Michael. Okay. Why wouldn't we? I agree with Michael. Why wouldn't we?
Starting point is 00:33:47 I don't want- Me and Jordan agree. I don't want to, but he's right. Okay. I gotta hand it to him. All right, Gracie, this is the next thing we have to do. All right. Pinning.
Starting point is 00:33:55 So maybe we compare this dishwasher steak, and then we just pick up a couple of Vince Youngs. Not a bad idea. Do they sue me? Yeah. If not, we'll throw them in the dishwasher. Hey, let me get five perfect tens. Can you put them in?
Starting point is 00:34:17 Oh, you don't have vacuum ziplocs, fine. Incredible. You know what? I'm going to go ahead and say he probably shouldn't be doing it, and neither should you, listener. But we'll do it for you. We'll do it for you.
Starting point is 00:34:33 We'll take the risks. Like eating poison chicken ice cream. Will, you run away from the fire. We run towards it. That's right. It's like Mr. Rogers said, look for the helpers. Yep. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:34:44 That's us. It's like Mr. Rogers said, look for the helpers. Yep. Oh my god. Oh, right. I do the outro. That's another batch of cases in the book on food court. And another possibly last thing we'll ever do. Eric ended more upset on this episode than the last one.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Which is wild. Put the steak in the dishwasher. It's the same as cooking normal steak. I'm not saying it's the same. I'm saying it could be an elevated version of a normal steak. As he said, there's just simply no room. We don't know. I think Eric's mistake again was telling us where he stands on something so that we can go against him.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Wait until you hear how he makes coffee. In the dishwasher. Spoiler alert. We think it's wrong. Hey, thanks for listening to another incredible episode. That's what I'm calling it. Of Spit and Silly. A little bit of a longer one.
Starting point is 00:35:36 Extended cut. Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week. That's right. Next week. Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want and nobody gets bullied. Bye. Shove them in the dishwasher. Fucked up swirly.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.