100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 11

Episode Date: January 23, 2024

Order in the court, the FOOD COURT! Our Hero Judges are back to rule on more cases from you loyal bugs. This week it's root beer float alternatives, bedtime acid reflux remedies, and garlic ketchup pasta… Weird. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting Partners Sun Life. The world is yours to create. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does. I'm your host jordan swears

alongside my co-host michael jones michael hey we're in the arena whoa that's cool i'm glad to be here that's that's sick did you like that i loved it hey is that just something in Discord? Enough out of you. Whoa! You hear that? You have the gavel? Oh, I got the real one. I gotta get mine. Order is in session.

Shut the fuck up, Eric. Oh my goodness. We have given... None of this is in. Gracie. I think Gracie just learned about this. What do you mean none of this is in? This is all we're talking learned about this what do you mean none of this is in this is all I'm talking about

he's all smiles Nick's head is Nick's got his yeah Nick's got love in this see that means Nick has to use

the I don't know wait why isn't this in what are you talking about Nick why wouldn't this be in you would you would have to also be recording your computer audio.

I am, but it sounds terrible. Why does it sound terrible? It sounds great. It sounds great on my end. I'm having fun. Just use the Audacity file, Nick. What are you talking about? What the hell are you saying?

We're just having fun. What are you saying? Who said that? Gracie said we're having fun. Oh, thank you, Gracie. You can tell we're having fun because everyone's smiling and only one of us is crying. Oh, is it Eric?

Eric left and now he's back. Oh, he went to get his gavel, but... It's not working. That blew out my audio like fucking crazy, Nick. You're going to have to fix that. That's so bad. Like, you should have told me not to do that i couldn't hear it it's true cut out on discord none of us could i still don't know all right guys guys yeah it took about 10 seconds let me get this whoa whoa there it is bam welcome to spitting silly the home edition

all right nick calm down what are we doing what's what's i don't know dude i don't know i don't know eric you weren't allowed to leave your house because the sun's out and it's 35 degrees, dude. I drove 40 minutes to the doctor's today and back. And you go, we can't leave the house. We can't go to Applebee's. It's too dangerous outside. You weren't allowed to leave your house.

Fucking asshole. Texas people. It's too chilly for driving today. It's 26 degrees out. People are praying to God for 26 degrees somewhere. Bundle up. I can't leave my house. I was driving my car sweating to death.

Turn the heat on. Too high. It's like riding my car. Yeah, it is. It's like riding Gracie's hot car. Next time we hop in Gracie's car, we put the fucking snow treads on the tires and we pick Eric up at his house. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I do have my snow treads readily available.

Oh, good. Yeah. Well, yeah. We live in Texas. Of course we do. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, you need them. Hunker down out there.

It's five degrees below freezing. Yep. Hey, it's a food court. Yes. Oh, how fortuitous. We wanted to get into some... Gracie selected these, did a food court. Yes. Oh, we wanted to get into some. Gracie selected these, did a great job. I feel like it's been forever since we've done a food court. It's been a very long time because we keep freewheeling.

We keep, oh, Michael's eating Taco Bell. Wow, what'd you get? What is that flat object? It's called a quesadilla. What do you think, Jordan? You're a wizard? How'd you figure that out? That's a quesadilla what do you think jordan you're a wizard and you figured that out that flat object

have you tried their stacker michael hold up the flat object real quick i want to get a look it's pretty flat oh that's good thanks that's a pretty flat object yeah saucer yep what are they called now they're not called ufos what are they called why they change it uaps yeah something oh yeah uap i thought you were talking about the food quesadillas yeah they're not called uaps why did they do that again unexplained aerial phenomenon how's that different yeah why did everyone decide that's what it's called now? Because it doesn't just include aircraft. It can include weird things that happen in the sky.

Have you seen the jellyfish? The jellyfish alien? Oh, you mean the speck on the camera? Yeah, I saw it. It's called an unidentified flying object. That doesn't specify aircraft to me. It's just flying. That's true.

I don't understand. I think flying implies some sort of propulsion, which most aircraft have. I don't know. But not the jellyfish in Mexico. The speck on the camera? Yeah. I'm telling you, man. It's out there.

This is real. Yeah, the speck is out there. The jellyfish in Mexico. The jellyfish in Iraq. They're out there. This is the only thing. I only believe in the jellyfish alien and the the jellyfish in Iraq. They're out there. This is the only thing. I only believe in the jellyfish alien and the chupacabra. Those are the only two things.

Nick's not buying it. And also, he's in on it now. No, he's fucking bored, dude. All right, hang on. Let's get down to business here. Oh, okay, cool. Courtship session. Let's get down to business here. Oh, okay, cool. Oh, of course in session. Let's get down to business. To defeat the Huns.

Yep. Yep. Eric will make a man out of you, Nick. You know your microphone's on, right? I do. Okay. You about to sing some Donny Osmond? Is that about to happen?

Oh, maybe. Oh, my God. If Eric doesn't cut me off again. Do the Jackie Chan version. Crazy. Just plow ahead. It doesn't matter. Right, yeah.

Nick's going to, like, lose his audio anyway or something. Lose my audio. I'm sorry. I lost your audio, but I found your credit card and your social security information, so I'm going to put that in instead. Okay, this first one. How did that ever happen? Or will or will whoa hang on yeah thanks man uh this is for our judges uh michael and jordan this is food court where you guys send in your

food conundrums and weird food uh thoughts or things you or friends do michael and jordan judge them let you know if you're allowed to continue all rulings are final uh but if you get your own gavel you can rule on a lower court so yeah that's something right you're not as important as us but you're more important than people that don't have one exactly it's a very simple hierarchy system yeah you guys are you like the supreme court you're like two Brett Kavanaugh's we're the supreme court where's my fucking billionaire friend where's my vacations this might be an easy one. I wonder how you guys feel about this.

I write to you this morning to lay a case before you that I believe constitutes at least a ruling, if not a hammering, if you find it to be fitting. They are positing that this drink is a half glass of milk, then you top the rest with their favorite summertime ingredient, ginger ale. What the? So what they're laying down here is,

essentially, it's like a root beer float because it is this sort of beer, root beer, ginger beer, that kind of thing with dairy, but instead of ice cream, it's milk. Sure. Do you think it's fine? They also ask, would you and should you drink this unsatisfying soda

with skim milk or does it need to be unholy? Come on. Come on. Unholy? What are you talking about? Now, is this person's defending it or bitching about it? No, they have a friend who does this. They're bringing this out.

Yeah. Yeah. Nick's right. A friend who does this. Big quote. It's always a friend. It's weird. Yeah.

Never you. They said, P.S. There's no fucking way I'm telling my boss, the person who does this, that I'm writing this into a podcast. I like my job. Whoa. I hope their boss is listening'm telling my boss, the person who does this, that I'm writing this into a podcast. I like my job. Whoa. I hope their boss is listening and they're like, you're fucking fired.

It's not even going to reach the person who is being ruled on. Oh, no, I think I think it will. I think it will. I think it'll reach them. But in like a like a circuitous way. Should we try to help them out in going about the best way to circuitous isn't that isn't that what isn't that what picard got turned into and when they became a borg that's good dude that's full of good he was he was so secure that's good he had so many why do i know that i don't know but i do pretty cool pretty cool um so what do you think it's uh milk and ginger ale as a uh

sounds like almost a root beer float i don't know what nick's nick's nick's holy yeah it's nick your signs are are mirrored now it's reversed let's try it i don't i don't know what that means nick said let's try it i don't want to try we don't have to keep doing this where somebody writes in about something and we have to try it want to try it. We don't have to keep doing this where somebody writes in about something and we have to try it. We can decide for ourselves. We don't have to keep doing it, but we've also barely done it. We still have to have dishwasher steak. I don't want to

try these things. I don't want to be the one to remind everyone we're supposed to sous vide a steak in the dishwasher. I do. It's not about us trying it. It's about making Eric eat it. That's not about us trying it. It's about making Eric eat it. That's what you're forgetting. I don't know that you can just say milk is like ice cream.

Yes. I agree. That's the first thing. Saying that that's like a root beer float is like saying a hamburger without a bun is a hamburger. I think that's even closer, Jordan, than what they're saying.

Because they still have a hamburger. They think that's even closer, Jordan, than what they're saying. Because it's still... They still have a hamburger. They just took the bun away. You're deconstructing... Milk just doesn't turn into ice cream. There's like more steps. There's a couple more things you gotta pull out of it. It's not like, well, I'll leave my milk out long enough. It'll be ice cream.

It's like the worst version of root beer float, too, because the ice cream's melted now. Also, ginger ale sucks. That's like the worst version of root beer float, too, because the ice cream's melted now. Also, ginger ale sucks. Ginger ale sucks. That's another thing. And how is this someone's favorite summertime drink? Ginger ale? Ginger ale's for tummy aches. Yeah, it seems counterproductive to mix

dairy in with that. Yeah. Like, it's for, like, drinking on a plane. It's for what, you say? It's for drinking on a plane. Oh, you mean just ginger ale, not ginger ale and milk. I thought you were recommending trying drinking on a plane oh you mean just ginger ale not ginger ale and milk yes i thought you're recommending try it on the plane did eric like this could you imagine have do you oh they just pour it and then you have to drink it i don't let my kids drink milk in the car okay like or if we're going in the car i'm like no milk they never have milk on

airplanes do they they'll churn that up and spit that out in no time. They'll have little cream packets for your coffee. Yeah, I was going to say, get some coffee creamer and mix it with ginger ale. It's like the same thing. Why don't they allow milk on planes? Is that a whole other issue? That's a whole other issue. That's a whole different ruling.

That's a whole other issue. Too many Michaels in this world who are trying to beat lactose intolerance they try it on the plane there's not because not enough have won Jordan not enough have won like me I just ate all this Taco Bell not even thinking about taking a lactate hell yeah

I'll tell you this I have not beaten psoriasis no have you tried sure will power well I've tried I've tried getting my medication, and when I can't get it, it inevitably tries itself. Which is funny, because when I went to the doctor today, and she's like, oh, yeah, there. I was like, oh, it's coming back, because I'm on my medication.

And I go, you know, sometimes I'm like, maybe I won. And then I don't get my medicine and it's back and she's like yeah and she goes you know it's kind of nice though because uh it reminds you that you need it and you don't get like to I don't need this and I go yeah it's real nice it reminds me how uh dependent I am on America's health care system thank you thank you thank you true razor's edge for you. She was like, it's kind of nice

because it makes you keep coming back here and giving me money. I went, that's true. Great. We actually have this cure we're not going to give to people.

Okay, back to the milk and ginger. It sucks. It sucks. So, what is the question at hand? Are we telling this person's boss

to cut it out? Are we? Yeah, I mean mean are you or is that yeah it sucks that's gross dude just have her if it's like a root beer float have a root beer float just have that that's real and pretty good yeah maybe they stopped having root beer floats in a while you know kind of like when michael goes without a psoriasis medicine that's it and he's just thinking this is just yeah oh this is just as good as like not having my psoriasis medicine and then and then he tries a root beer float he goes this is way better thinking, this is just as good. Oh, this is just as good as not having my psoriasis medicine.

And then he tries a Ric-Riflo, and he goes, this is way better. Jordan, this is the equivalent when I don't have my medication. I'm like, I just got to put cream on 80% of my body every single day forever. Have you tried milk? And it's basically just as good. I have not tried putting milk directly on the skin, but it's something to consider. Hey, baby, it's just as good. Hey, try this trick. Dermatologists hate it.

That's when they say you have milky skin. My ruling is definitely it's gross. If they're trying to get you on board with it, no. Quit. They're not allowed to do that. Quit or usurp him. yeah yeah yeah do a do a coup yeah you have to become the boss and then you fire this guy if he drinks the milk

the milk ginger ale okay or or do what nick's doing yeah nick is suggesting something nick's doing like back of the head style executions which we don't condone no the monkey if he were a king nick is recommending regicide yeah that's true that's true boss aside so that's that's the ruling uh let's get the gaver hammer the gavel okay all right nick hit his desk nick just hit his desk and it made a buzz. I heard buzzing. I think that was the microphone going twang. Like, Nick did it like you don't have it. Like, you have the sound.

I have a gavel. If I wanted to bang the gavel, I could have banged the gavel. He has the sound. Yeah. We all helped. Yeah. Okay, here's the next one this is from devin uh i i like this one this was a good grab dear honorable bug kings i need your help in settling a food dispute with my co-worker there are a lot of moving parts here but i'll try to be thorough okay my co-worker has a nightly

ritual of eating cereal before bed. This itself is not weird, but her reasoning that it prevents her from getting acid reflux is a little suspect to me as laying down after eating aggravates my acid reflux.

And if it works for her, whatever. Here are the steps. These are the 10 steps. This is great. Yeah. That's a lot of steps for cereal. Yeah.

I just go to sleep. Step one, pour milk in a bowl. Step two, add ice. Step one, you fucked up. Step three,

pour cereal in a different bowl. Step four, take both bowls upstairs and place on a nightstand. Step five, go take a shower. Step six. Return to bed. Step seven.

A. Remove ice cubes. Step seven. B. Feed the ice cubes to dog. No. Pour cereal in milk and enjoy. Step nine.

Move bowls to dresser. Step 10. Move. Go to sleep. She explains the habit. This is the bowls dresser. This is where the bowls go. Michael is beside himself.

She explains her habit like this. She wants the milk to remain cold, but is lazy and doesn't want to go back downstairs after her shower to make the cereal so she goes through twice the effort of making two bowls and portioning out her cereals in spoonfuls to keep it from getting soggy to avoid going downstairs she insists that the ice does not make the water does not make the milk watery uh- previous rulings. Hang on. This is good. She admits that this is weird,

but she's going to continue to do this. Her laziness extends to not taking the bowls downstairs in the sink in the morning. These bowls stack up for a week before being cleaned and sit in her bedroom. She insists that because she quote drinks all the milk, there is nothing left in the bowl to go bad. And this is their coworker? Yes. Yeah, this is Devin's coworker.

This person has enough willpower to wake up and go to a job? Yes, but not take the bowls downstairs. Everything you've just described is like a sloth like a slug person how do you how do you function in reality if if this is your step for eating cereal what's your what's your process for like going to the bank how long does that take i don't think they probably don't right do they work from home that that none of it makes sense dude not the the cereal alone doesn't make sense yeah the logic behind needing the cereal for your acid reflex i'm not buying that i'm not buying this process maybe go to maybe get medication first of all there's medication

for acid also she drinks skim milk so i don't know what this is i don't know how that helps with acid reflux at all like the milk is doing something but it's skim milk there's like no fat so i what's the what's the thing that it's doing it's cold i can't even i can't even begin to wrap my head around the process but ignoring it ignoring how dumb this is get a mini fridge upstairs that was my thought too it's the first first step if like this isn't even this is maybe that's your night enabling you right maybe this is enabling you and that and you shouldn't be but like get a mini fridge and that they're like 50 100 and this is what you do every day your life what also please take the dishes down with you in the morning like no

jordan can't be done two bowls stacking up for a week even if you insist there's no milk in it you gotta be getting ants or something yeah the smell of like milk where milk has been for a week that's gonna that's gonna add up in its own self i'll be honest like it the cereal like i drink i eat cereal before bed for acid reflux is tame in the nonsense we've heard but the amount of steps to get there is i just can't wrap my head around and then also including half a step for your dog okay so i was gonna say, what they've done is trained their dog in these steps as well, because now the dog,

when something's getting poor, the ice cubes are being removed, and the dog goes, ooh, milky ice cubes time, and he's ready now. So if she breaks this habit, this dog's going to be bummed out. I know.

This is why it's difficult to just say stop doing it, because we've trained the dog to get its nightly ice cubes. Milky ice cubes. Dude, stop if not for yourself, but for the dog, okay? This dog has to sleep. This dog eats milky ice cubes and then has to sleep in the room that smells like old milk because you don't want to go downstairs after you take a shower. But you go to work and have a job. How? How is that possible?

Answer me, God damn it. So we also find out that they're a doctor somehow. Yeah, I'm losing it. 100%. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Michael's going blurry. His rage is'm losing it. Oh, 100%. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, Michael's going blurry. His rage is making him blurry.

Oh, no. He can't. There's no focus. There's no focus here, that's for sure. So what do you think? Like, what's the ruling here other than just stop doing this, you freak? Like, what are we thinking?

I'm going to go right to lock this woman up. Lock her up. I think we need to start small. Not in jail, but somewhere. Somewhere safe. We need to wean this person off this process. No, there's no weaning. No, we need to go in there and pull the fucking string.

The ten-step process. Maybe we can come up with a five-step process. Oh, okay. Step one, take a shower. Step two. Prilosec. Take a Prilosec. Step three, go downstairs and eat cereal.

Step four, put it in the sink when you're done. What the fuck? Step five, the dog still gets its ice cubes. Milky ice cubes for the dog milky ice cubes they don't have to be milky for the love of god dude yeah dogs just like the dog likes ice cubes dogs just like ice cubes right but i think the milkiness is beside the point now the other thing is how many times does this woman or her dog shit themselves in their sleep right right because there's got to. Because there's got to be some

there's got to be some like, you know, I don't know, like emissions going on or something. Disgusting dairy gut. Yeah. Yeah. Bubble gut. Yeah. There's a bubble gut going on. The dairy the skim dairy is all along the esophagus protecting

the acid reflux shielding the esophagus from the reflux. I hadn't thought about how the skim dairy says in your esophagus. Why else would it work, Eric? It has to work for some reason. Why else would they be doing it? It has to work. There's got to be some milky discharge.

I'm not entirely convinced this person I don't think she gets acid reflux. She's just heard of it and is like, I gotta do something. I gotta stop this before it happens. And I have found that eating cereal with my ice cubes

preemptively prevents the acid reflux from happening. I've never had it my i'm so good at preventing it insane crazy all right so the ruling is lock her up and then we all chanted at her yeah i think we all chant lock her up but in a nice way but in a nice way like lock her up with friends and family until she stops doing this yes i. I don't know, dude. If anyone has like a nice finished basement, they can like latch the door on. Uh-huh.

That'd be good. Like lock her up, but like Hannibal Lecter style. We're like, we'll give you books and stuff. Right. You know, you got like a little computer you can use. It'll be comfortable until you come to your senses. Yeah. My ruling is the five-step program.

I think that's the, I think that's the better route. Okay. Okay. Um, if she can't abide by the five steps, we're locking her up. I've had it.

There you go. Yeah. That's the, uh, we have a, much like the preemptive, uh, acid reflex.

We have a preemptive ruling. If the five-step program doesn't work. As, as the Brett Kavanaugh of this food court. Classic. Doing some Bruce Lee in your hand right now. Dude, Jordan, I'm going to boof you, okay? Now, just doing some quick research.

The fat in milk can aggravate acid reflux. According to scientists, nonfat milk can act as a temporary buffer between the stomach lining and acidic stomach contents and provide immediate relief. Here's the thing. Drink some nonfat milk. Yep, there it is. It's the skim milk. The skim milk is doing its job. That's one step.

Yep. Just drink some milk. Everything else, you're out of your fucking mind, lady. You're out of your mind. Really, this is a one-step thing, and you've added nine steps insane insane how how crazy that the uh hold on uh i got a gavel sound for us okay okay that's not a gavel what did nick yell daughter oh okay one more we have time for one more

wow I like this one okay hit the button and then went yeah holding her breath underwater I was trying to look through what the options were and then I clicked golf clap

it's pretty good. Alright, here's the last one. This is from Knox. K-N-O-X. Hello judges, bailiff, stenographer, and court sketch artist of Face Jam Food Court. I was explaining the food court to my best friend

and he said something like, kind of like your garlic ketchup pasta thing. To which I responded, oh, no one on that show would bat an eye at that. He challenged me on that, asking if I was sure, and apparently I'm not, because I'm asking you directly. I love it. Would you bat an eye at the following dish? Spaghetti with some butter, a lot of ketchup, and some garlic powder and grated Parmesan. I'm batting several eyes.

Why ketchup, dude? As a kid, I had it with just ketchup. Right there, you know you're wrong already. But my refined adult palate finds the butter cuts out a lot of the tanginess and the garlic flavor is also yummy. You know what else cuts out the tanginess? Not using ketchup. I'm not asking if it's the same as normal marinara or any other actual sauce.

My Italian father would disown me if I did that. I just like it and think it's not that weird since it has all the same ingredients as other sauces, just over-processed and remixed. I don't do this every time I eat pasta, just when I'm lazy and in the mood for something please inform me if your eyes batted at this so I can get back to my friend with conclusive evidence thanks Knox he is saying

this is not he knows it's not marinara or any other sauces and then immediately goes on to compare it to other sauces yeah a couple things come to mind this is like a rare one in that we've got someone, we've got a jammer

listening, who's telling a friend and then that friend has pulled something out of them. They must have been listening to this in general and they either thought about this and went that's not weird or

it didn't even register they sat here listening to food courts and go huh i'm not weird like that and immediately your friend went we do this fucking weird thing like this do this weird thing they're listening incorrectly they're not listening with with self-analysis if they've listened to this show and know that they do this and thought they wouldn't think this is weird i don't know what show you've been listening to right what the fuck which is why the first thing i wanted to say was i'm offended that they would think that none of us would think it's weird i mean right off the bat you know i would think it's it's bad huh uh-huh if you've been paying attention michael maybe and if you've been paying attention. Michael, maybe. If you've been paying attention, I'm pretty anti-ketchup all over

this shit. I don't think ketchup on eggs is right. I agree with you. I don't think it's right. I'm anti-ketchup. I'm with you. But like, whatever, people do it. This? No way. Dude, take the ketchup out? That's fine. You want to do pasta with butter? That's lazy. That's being lazy. I just want noodles with

butter. Too lazy to make the sauce or I don't want the sauce. Adding ketchup is the part where it's not lazy. It's insane. It's weird. And also, the worst part of this, there's a key detail here that happens every single time and they go, this isn't normal. So when I was a kid, right, you were indoctrinated. You did this stupid fucking thing and then you do it your whole life and you go, that's

normal because I've been doing it forever. You're just another Burger King person. You're just a person that loves burger king you just got burger king shoved down your throat and it's terrible it's shit we need a deprogramming like course for people who have grown up with burger king and weird stuff like ketchup garlic sauce it's it's why i still eat salami and cheese sandwiches to this day because i was raised on it but thankfully meat and cheese goes on a sandwich right i know i eat it because i ate it as a kid that's just i just i know that you gotta stop applying that to weird shit right normal for you is not normal for everyone else i The thing that gets me is what Jordan was saying, too, where it's like you're listening to this show and your friend says you have a weird thing and you're going, no way. I'm just like Face Jam because they're going to think this is normal.

We're nothing like you. What are you doing? 90% of the show is us talking about how we aren't like... You are a bug and we are kings. We are very explicit in the hierarchy. You are not up here. Thank you, Jordan. Thank you.

Dude, food court? How dare you come to this court? I'm going to be honest with you. Going into this show, I was like the resident disgusting animal eating all the shit the disgusting animal shit i eat pales in comparison to the things these people come up with i don't go to mcdonald's and go can you put some fucking coke inside a french fry and then add ice cream can i have that because that's what people do that's like jordan people often associate me with like i'm a monster like michael no i'm like a normal monster i with like, I'm a monster like Michael. No, I'm like a normal monster.

I'm like a monster in a monster movie monster. Right. You're like a fucking A24 monster, okay? You're some weirdo shit. I'm a monster like, whoa, there he is. You're a monster like... You got that little shriek sound. That's what happens.

The A24 sound? Yeah. It's like I'm eating my food, and then they take the ketchup out and squirt it. It goes. I have a sore throat, so I can't make a shrieking sound right now. You know what it sounds like. Dude, stop putting ketchup in shit. That's the simplest thing I can say.

Stop lying to yourself that what you're doing is normal. That's it. I think that's what it is. It's almost an intervention at this point. Not and not just for him, for everyone. It's a thing where like a jarred marinara is not harder than everything he just said. Right. And then he's going, yeah, but my thing's like, yeah, everyone else is weird.

My thing's pretty normal. Your thing's weirder than like what the regular normal easy step is that's yeah you can get it already made you know it's it's ready to go paul newman's face is on the fucking front and you just pour some of it out warm up you're ready to go and get this way better than ketchup way tasty ketchup I it even says even says the garlic cuts out some of the tanginess of ketchup don't use ketchup then you don't have to cut it out

I can't handle ketchup in large quantities if it was the main sauce on something I can't do it if I get a fry with too much ketchup, I'm like, how do you taste anything else? Gracie's been silent

through this whole one. Go on. I just think that her silence is volume. Gracie, have thoughts? No, I don't agree with them by any means. I don't agree. It does sound good and I will try it. That's all I'm waiting it. That's all I'm waiting for. No, it sounds awful.

I'm never going to try it. No, I wouldn't. You know what? That's kind of like a That speaks volumes. That's a new barometer for a ruling. Gracie going, and I'll never try it. That's a Gracie never try. Gracie, would you try

ketchup on a pretzel yeah nick what dude dude hang on i love it oh they're fighting yeah what nick yes you would no you wouldn't try it you wouldn't even dabble i'll dabble okay that's Okay, so he immediately relented. He immediately relented. No, no. Oh, spicy. I'll do spicy. I'll dabble.

It took Gracie seven seconds to get him from a no to a dabble. I mean, I'll try it. I'm not saying I'd love it. All right. All right. What's your ruling on this one then, guys? Stop doing it. My ruling on these things is usually if you like it, you can keep doing it.

Stop lying to yourself and everyone around you that it's just a normal thing and it's just as good as sauce. Like, just admit it's a garbage food. And that's okay to eat a garbage food. Just don't try to say it's not. Can I pose something here? Next time, when they make this, when they're going to take the first bite, they have to whisper to themselves, I'm not normal, and then they can take a bite of that weird food.

I think that's a great ruling. And let's just write back to us and explain how you felt in that moment. Maybe we'll start undoing some of this programming you've been going through. And let us know what you think about Burger King, too. Yeah, I'll love it.

Maybe also try it without ketchup. Have you ever tried doing what you're saying, but not ketchup? Garlic butter noodle sounds great. It's butter noodle. That's fine. Dude Garlic butter noodle sounds great. It's butter noodle. That's fine. Dude, butter noodles are great. It's such a simple dish. You suck it down.

You don't have to cut out any flavors that you've added. I add the flavor, and then I try to get rid of it immediately with the garlic. Too tangy. All right. There's our rule. All right. Hey, hit him with the gavel, Michael. There you go. I got it, dude.

We did it. Nick, you want to a gavel, Michael. There you go. I got it. We did it. Nick, you want to punch your desk? Okay. He did it. We did it. Face Jam Food Court. Those are great, strong rulings. If you want a ruling on your food conundrum that you do or your friend does,

FaceGampod at RoosterTeeth.com is the email address. We'll resource these and then let you know if we think you're a regular person or not. You're not, but you can let us know. Go grab a gavel at the store.RoosterTeeth.com. Be deputized. Yes, you are deputized to make a lower court ruling on your friends and then just have an email here

and then we'll rule for real. Supreme Court, Amy Coney Barrett style. What? Nick made such a noise. Hey, we got that does it for Face Jam this week.

Michael, you want to do the outro? I can. Would you like me to? Yeah. Did you send it to him? I did. No, he texted it to me, which is weird. That's where it goes.

The worst place to send it. Hey, thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly. Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week. That's right. Next week. Maybe Eric will be allowed to go to Applebee's. Tell a friend about the show and we do whatever we want. Goodbye.

Eric, just so you know, next week it's going to be like in the 30s. Maybe 40. Could be as low as 42. Ah! But make it fast though because I'm leaving town. Oh yeah, that's right. You're out of town like next week, right?

Make sure that stays in. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!