100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 12

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

Order in the court, the FOOD COURT! Our Hero Judges are back to rule on more cases from you loyal bugs. This week it's milk riding the counter, diy dreamsicles, steak dipping and Dr. Kool-Aid. Sponsored by Katos Koffee http://katoskoffee.com code FACEJAM10 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen and it probably does. I'm your host Jordan Swears alongside my co-host Michael Jones. Michael, you eating some candy or what? I'm chewing. I'm fruit chewing. You guys had some fruit chews I got left out. Yeah. Yeah, we ate these hardware store. Oh, yeah, they're from Menards.

They're not terrible, man. They're by Tootsie Roll. And I give it like a thumbs mid, but I kept snacking on them. Yeah. And they're not bad. I'd start at thumbs mid and then do like a 45 degree angle. Oh, nice. That's kind of where I'm at right now, too.

Because I can't stop eating them. I'm also hungry. And that's not food. Yeah. But I stop eating them. I'm also hungry, and that's not food. But I'm eating them. Well, here's the thing. Jordan shouldn't have them either because he keeps fucking eating them also. Good. That's less for me to eat because I want real food.

I've got to trick you into giving me real food today. That's a snack from... And him, too. Yeah, I mean, really. It's a snack from Snoo. From Stew, who sent that in. Thank you, Stew. From Hardware Store. From Hardware Store Menards.

Menards? Yeah. He said that they're the only available in. Thank you, Stu. From Hardware Store. From Hardware Store Menards. Menards? Yeah. He said that they're the only available in the Midwest. I know what Menards is because of the t-shirt podcast guy. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's from the Midwest. He's a classic Menardsman. Keep dropping, Menards. I got a bunch in my

mouth right now. Yeah, dude. They're real soft. Can you hand me those so we can just get them away from both of you? They're real soft and they're wet. There you go, Michael. Once you bite into them, they're wet. I'll pass them on to Eric. You want some? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go.

Did you get any? He just threw a handful of candy at Nick. How else was he supposed to get it over? What else do you want me to do? Yeah. Here. He's tethered in. You want some?

No. I don't want some. Well, then you can't have it. Why do you want the bag? We don't need the bag. We're not go to the bathroom. He's tethered in. You want some? No. I don't want some. Well, then you can't have it. Why do you want the bag? We don't need the bag. We're not going to eat any. So, hey, we're here for Spittin' Silly, and we're here for Food Court. Oh.

Yeah. Court is in session. Yeah. Do we have the gavel? Well, Nick will pound the desk. Go ahead. Okay. You would think somewhere in this building where we designed the gavel, the gavel would

be. Man, I thought that one would explode everywhere. Nah, dude, I sealed it, bro. He was just like me, Cole Hardman. I sealed it with super strength. Pretty good. Hey, if you want to send in your weird food court thing, and boy, we have plenty of them,

facejampot at roosterteeth.com is the email address. Don't sound so tired about it. No, I'm not tired. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I'm the email address. Don't sound so tired about it. We need thousands of them. Here's the thing. I'm not tired of getting... I think that these are great. I love when people send them in. When you sift through them and you have to read them and you go,

these people are fucked. You start getting the brain rot. You get worried. Like, yeah, Gracie's right. I don't get worried. What's the opposite of woke mind virus? Is it a sleep? A sleep ass?

It's like a bacteria, probably. A bacteria? Yeah. I'll be honest, though. We're running out. Running out of what? Food courts. Like emails.

Oh, yeah. You have to send more in. I look and i go i i cannot i cannot yeah i was joking i cannot let any notifications sit on my phone i have to clear them yes i'm the same exact way yes so anytime i get an email right i'm hammered all day yeah i'm texting you right every time i get every time i I get a series of emails, like three, four, five, there's one food court in there. And I go, oh.

And then I read the headline and then I read it. I love just reading the subject lines. You read it and just go, maniac. And then I don't really think about it. We must get like four a day. And now that doesn't sound like a lot, but then when two weeks go by and we haven't done one, and I go, we've gotten 60 since gotten 60 since like we get so many and then what happens is we do an episode of food court and people go

oh face your potter is teeth.com right here's the thing that sparked i here's what i'm thinking and we do three send it and it's uh what you see all right what the fuck oh dude. I saw that. There you go. Hey, here's our first one. That's good. Ben from... Is that Star Fox? Yeah. That's Andross's nephew, Andrew.

Andrew? There's everyone's Uncle Andross. It's Pigma. Yeah, dude. Starwolf. Starwolf, dude. And there's like a panther later and all this stuff and then here's hey guys i'm andrew the funniest a nepotism hire to destroy the universe and take it over and you went well i

gotta throw my nephew in here he's got skills yeah and his name is andrew and it is and it is a nepotism now like his. I owe his dad a favor. It's not really like he's next in line. He really is like, oh, you're never going to work your way up the evil chain. You're just going to kind of do something over there. He's the Slippy of Star Wars. So he definitely

is, and that's why he's paired with Slippy there. Because it's Pigma, and don't worry about this, Gracie. Pigma? You look really worried. No, they're fine. They beat Star Wars. Star Fox Adventures. They're half robots.

If you take the difficult route, you just run around on foot with a stick. I recently just did the purchase thing of getting like the N64 games on Switch or whatever just because I wanted to play Star Fox. And then I started playing it and I went, this is maybe the best game ever made.

It is. Do you have the SNES? They have Star Fox 2 on there, which never released. Yuck. Yeah, I don't like those. On the SNES, it's just not... It's the same game. I'm looking at it.

I like the frog. She likes Slippy. That's the guy who sucks Wrong answer, Gracie Damn, you really stepped in it I like him visually, I don't know anything about him as a guy You're slippy now That's how I feel about Glenn Powell I like him as a capybara

Okay, here's the first food court This is Ben from Grand Rapids. Not so much a weird food thing, but this is why I brought this one. But why does my wife leave stuff out of the fridge? Uh-oh. You have heard of clean as you go, but have you heard of leave it out until it rots? Cheese, milk, cream all stay on the counter until dinner gets cleaned up. What?

One would think that if our daughter wants a cup of milk you would pour it and then put it back in the fridge, but not my wife. The milk will ride the counter until the sun comes up. Your favorite listener from the greater Grand Rapids area, Benjamin. Insane. That's insane behavior. First of all, great idea

to email us about this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can solve this problem. Yeah, hammer her. Yeah, but so you don't have to. He'll just be like, honey, I just asked. I didn't say anything. Honey, honey, listen to this. Hang on, let me skip all this Star Fox stuff.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Make her listen to the Star Fox stuff, actually. What does she think about this? Does she like Slippy? Is she a Gracie? She likes Leon. The great Leon. Leon is the best one.

Okay, prepare your assets. What the fuck? What does that mean? Divorce is what he's saying. She likes Leon. The great Leon. Leon is the best one. Okay. Prepare your assets. What the fuck? What does that mean? Divorce is what he's saying. Oh, okay. So, I don't know why. I don't know why your wife does that.

That's, yeah, don't do that. Put it back in. You can do that with dry goods. Uh-huh. If you're like, oh, I got this cereal out. The kid's going to want some later. I'll just leave it out for easy access later. The milk needs to be refrigerated

at all times. Here's what I do. 30 seconds it starts going bad. That's extreme. It starts tasting different. It's been an hour. Now I'm glad I picked this one because we're really learning something about the judges. I can see the bacteria growing.

It's all over me! I do a thing similar, which is not, people don't generally enjoy it, but it's more like how long does it take to get into the refrigerator, right? Like say I order pizza and I have it at night. I'll let that shit ride. I don't care because I'm going to eat it before it needs to be refrigerated.

And if I refrigerate it, I will not eat it. I might as well throw it away. Oh, interesting. So people will be like, oh, you can't leave that out. I'll order a pizza at 10 o'clock at night. I don't give a shit. I'll let it sit out overnight. I don't care.

And I'll eat it the next morning. Or I throw it away. That upsets people. They're like, it's been out 12 hours. And I go, eh, if you ordered it at noon, I would leave it out until 9 o'clock and I wouldn't think about it. I've done, yeah,

I've done way worse. I don't, that doesn't really, now I understand that would upset people, but again, it's like, it's like, yeah,

there's dairy in it cause it's cheese, but I don't, I'll be honest. Doesn't, doesn't do anything. Tastes fine. I hate shit being cold and then reheated. I would rather get room temperature and still have like natural, it went coldness,

not it's cold from the refrigerator. But that's not taking refrigerated things out and leaving them out. That's true. Yeah. Eric, can you elaborate on doing way worse with way more? Oh, I've left Taco Bell in a car overnight and ate it for breakfast the next day. Go for it. Go for it.

Yeah. Anytime I sit there and I think, I go, they used to have food on ships. And they would just rot. And they'd pour a bunch of shit on it. Humans were fine-ish. Well, here's the thing. That's all stuff

with no preservatives. Exactly. When I'm eating a potato soft taco from Taco Bell, it is only preservatives. Yeah, it's causing colorectal cancer in our generation. Exactly. At alarming rates. When I'm-

And that's when you eat it fresh. Yes. So who cares if it's 12 hours old? All of that dissipates and then it's good for you. I mean, like, I've gotten it- Yeah, you just gotta ring out the preservatives. In college, I would get it, like, on the way home and eat a bunch, like, in the car on the way home. And then I'm grabbing all my stuff and I'm like, well, I have work tomorrow.

And I'd leave it. It's not like it happened a lot. It happened a couple of times. It was intentional. Let it ride, though. Just put it in the car. It's fine. At that point, you're just being efficient with your energy.

What temperature was the weather? Cold, I guess. Southern California. So it's not like it's... It was winter, so it's fine. But it did turn the car on and heat it up. Yeah, I put the heat on. But it was like, okay, going to get hammered with my roommates when I have work at the

zoo tomorrow. I'm going to be hung over in the zoo. Me, Pigma, Slippy. Come on, guys. You got to go back into the cage. That's the rule. You come home with me and then you got to go back into the zoo. You can eat the old Taco Bell I got in the-

I thought you worked at the Glenn Powell enclosure. One of them made a wish. So we're going to say, what's the ruling on this? You just put it back in the fridge. Yeah, absolutely put it back in the fridge. I don't even understand. It's just a mess, too. You're taking up countertop space.

Anything that started in the fridge needs to go back in the fridge. And there's great ways to get in the habit of doing it. And clean as you go is a great way to do it. Like when you're done with it, you don't have to move on to the next step. Take a second, put it in the fridge. You don't have to worry about it later.

You don't have to worry about cleaning up everything. It's also like, I get the laziness of like when I clean, that's not even cleaning. No. Putting a milk container back in the refrigerator is not cleaning up. That's just, that's not even cleaning. No. Putting a milk container back in the refrigerator is not cleaning up. That's just. That's not.

If you're not wiping or there's no water involved or soap or dishes, that's not cleaning. Yeah. That's the, it's not like cleaning to put your shoes in the closet as opposed to just throwing them in the middle of the hallway. It's just put your shit away. Yeah. Yes. I agree.

I absolutely agree. Lady, put your shit away. There you go. That's my ruling. And that's the ruling. Hammer the gavel. All right. He, that was a little delayed, but we got it. You. Lady, put your shit away. There you go. That's my ruling. And that's the ruling. Hammer the gavel. Alright, that was a little delayed, but we got it. He wasn't looking. No, it's fine. He's busy.

Here's our next one. Busy with that candy. I forgot where it went. You were thinking about it? I was thinking about it, and I thought he took it. And I forgot. You throw it back? Yeah, throw it back. Good catch. Whoa, that was cool. What handy did he not move? He throw it back. Good catch. Whoa, that was cool. That's a guy that used to play baseball before his friends moved.

Yep. I was just thinking about how we should play baseball, but we don't have enough friends. No, they're all gone. I can try it. Okay, here's our next one for Dylan. I can try baseball. Let's play some baseball. What if I'm really good?

What if? You could be. I might be. Hey, Face Jam. Hi. As a kid, I created a drink as a substitute for the flavor of orange creamsicles because I wanted to have a creamsicle but didn't have any. Oh, dude, I know that struggle. The recipe, as I'm sure you can imagine,

is very simple. Half orange juice, half milk. The amount of each... You still on board, Jordan? The amount of each can vary depending on the container you're using and the ratio of orange juice to creamsicle flavoring you desire. Everybody always told me this was weird anytime I would drink it. And although I understand it is quite unorthodox,

it can't be half as weird as half the stuff I've heard on this show. I look forward to your deliberation. Huge fan of the show, Dylan. Nick is holding up a sign that simply says test. Six times. And it's getting sloppier as it goes because he's starting. He thinks he's doing science.

He's drinking more and more of this concoction. I feel like we say this a lot. I know I bring this up a lot, but I get the base of it, but milk isn't cream. No, it's not. Milk isn't ice cream. No, it's milk. It's part of it. Yes.

You can get from one to the other, but it's just a one-for-one replacement. Here's a hot tip. A little mnemonic device. If it's got a different name, it's something different. Okay. Yeah's something different. Okay. Yeah, all right. I think I'm getting it, Jordan. Like half and half isn't half milk and more half milk.

Like a scoop of vanilla ice cream would be closer. Yes. Not that I would want to put that in orange juice. No, I wouldn't either. But it's closer to a creamsicle than just milk. So if that's what he had sent in, I feel like this would be one where you're like, I see kind of what you're getting at here,

and you're driving in the general direction. Milk and orange juice are... It has to, it has to curdle the milk. It has to. Yeah, they do not... It's like water and oil. Yes. Like those things, you can't mix them together.

It simply must curdle it. Imagine it's like pulpy orange juice, too. Oh, okay. The good stuff. You gotta get the strings in there. You don't like pulp? No. But that's why I'm mixing my milk with my orange juice.

It makes the pulp for me. Big pulpy chunks. I love a creamsicle. Yeah. As much as the next guy. Wendy's announced that they're gonna to have an orange dreamsicle flavor coming out next month, and I'm all about it. Maybe when we eat that,

we do the test, test, test, test, test, test. Oh, maybe we do a little test for this thing. Yeah, put some milk in it, see what happens. Gross. What's the ruling on this? I definitely think it's as strange as half the stuff we've heard. Totally agree.

Just because it's a simpler amount half the stuff we've heard. Totally agree. Yeah. Just because it's a simpler amount of ingredients and, you know, you seem like you think it's an innocent enough thing. You can't use milk. All of these people think they're innocent. You're also grasping at straws when you're using the other freaks as an example of how you're not that bad. Don't compare yourself to these freaks. Compare yourself to real life regular people. Where am. Don't compare yourself to these freaks. Compare yourself to real-life regular people. Where am I on the leaderboard of these freaks?

If you're on it, you've lost. You skier above them, but you're still on it. You're still sharing the same space. You may be in the top 50%. You're in the same conference, buddy. That's a sports thing? Yeah. Okay.

Pretty good. Oh, yeah. Yeah, way to go. It went over your head because you forgot who was saying it. You said it, and I was like, sure, they're at a convention. If you had said division, I'd be like, sports? Interesting. So what do you say for Dylan? Weird. Don't do it.

Just weird. Nick's going to try it and then maybe I'll try it too. Also, I get that you did this when you were a kid. And that's fine to try out when you're a kid. Don't keep doing it. I think now as an adult or at least an older person, you have much more access to them. Like I get needing it. You're a kid. Maybe you didn't get your allowance.

Or maybe your own. You know, pick up a one wheel, scoot on over. There you go. For as much as you're spending on orange juice and milk, you can spend that amount on creamsicles. Go the extra mile. Yeah, and you're probably fine. Ugh. Anyway, that's Dylan's, and he's gross.

Yeah. And he's gross. All right. Don't tell anyone else you used to do this. I think they said, don't do it. Slam the gavel. He was ready that time. Yeah, it was pretty good.

He's watching me. Don't do that. Not as egregious. Not that we have to compare them, but not as egregious as leaving dairy out. Oh, definitely. It's still... Just drink the orange juice, dude.

Yeah. It's still a dairy-based drink. Pick one. Just drink one of them. Here's the next one. This is from Domingo. Dear Honorable Food Court, I come to you today with a food emergency.

I fear that as everyday passes, lives are at stake. He's very, very serious. Wait, steak spelled how? S-T-A-K-E. Oh, shit. This is serious. Well, don't worry. Check this out.

One of my friends who goes by Ning, which I would assume is their name, let it slip that when she eats out at restaurants, she orders steak, S-T-A-K, S-T-E-A-K. Okay. Yep. Stack. Stack.

With a side of applesauce. She then will proceed to dip her steak directly into the applesauce. As, now, okay. Now here, very weird, right? As someone who has been described as a steak goblin, I eat steak three to four times a week. That's a lot.

This is pure blasphemous. That's a lot. This is pure blasphemous to me and a terrible injustice to such a holy food. Please help us with this emergency. She will not listen to reason, but I hope she may listen to such an esteemed court and its ruling on this matter.

As each day goes by, I fear she will continue to defile innocent cuts of meat. Help us, please. Your loyal jammer, Domingo. So this state goblin is saying, help me with a state crime. Okay.

What do you think? I'm not outwardly against it. I gotta think. Here's what I'll say. Pork chop and applesauce is a thing. Steak is not that far removed. But it is different. It's definitely different.

Sometimes you get that pork chop with some breading. Yeah. It works out with the applesauce pretty well. It's definitely different. It's not something I would do. Absolutely not. I am not about to put a steak of any cut, any temperature with applesauce. That just isn't a flavor combination I'm looking forward to.

See, I'm not sure about the flavor combination because I know you can put stuffs on steaks. You get toppings on steaks. And I'm thinking, like, would I ever order applesauce? No, but it could work. You ever go sweet with those? I don't think so. And maybe what's tickling my brain is, because I don't make applesauce.

I don't ever eat applesauce. It's baby food. But I think of back, like, grandma's cooking. There was always applesauce, right? Like Thanksgiving and shit. And there's definitely a time where I would just have it on my plate. You have the whole Thanksgiving spread. And you get that cross-contamination.

No, I'd put turkey in my applesauce. Sure. I'm with you on that. I would just like, I would never order it. But now I'm thinking, I don't know. I can't outright hate it, but I can't defend it. I'm stuck on where are you ordering this? What restaurant is like,

yeah, we serve steak and we have applesauce at the side. You're going to Ruth's Chris and being like, and I'd like that with a side of applesauce. And they're like, oh, it's probably homemade. I mean, please ask your chef, do you have the finest motts in the back? Like, if you go to Perry's and you get the pork chop,

applesauce is like a thing that comes with it. You get it. That's like a nice spot. That's like a German thing, right? It is. But it's not red meat steak. Yeah, it's totally different when it's steak. Yep. For whatever reason, everything else, like turkey,

pork chop, I could see it. With this, it's just such a different type of meat. I'm like turkey. Yep. Pork chop. I could see it with this. It's just such a different type of meat that like, I, if you're going to go with a sauce, which already a lot of people have problems with. Yeah. If you tell,

don't even say a one. Otherwise, it's just a shit sauce. I put blue cheese on steaks. Right. But I love, I love a savory topping. I don't know. I'm just saying, I don't love a savory topping. I don't know if sweet works.

I'm just saying I don't know. I just don't know. Why don't you try sous vide-ing a steak in the dishwasher and throw some applesauce on it? That's not a bad idea. Let's do it! I'm gonna rule this. Go ahead. You cannot stop someone else from

eating something they enjoy. Now, if they are evangelizing this saying that it's the way to go yes you can stop them from doing that okay let them enjoy their food in the corner uh-huh like the little gremlin they are yeah but this does seem like it's a thing that your friend is just doing and enjoys and isn't trying to push on anyone yeah so just let it happen and And you can say, that's weird,

but you can't make them stop. Michael. I think I need to try it. All right. Gracie is wide-eyed in disbelief. Well, I've never heard of dipping anything in applesauce. I've never heard of the pork chop thing. So this is all new and weird to me.

Put it on the list. It could be. I mean, again of the pork chop thing. So this is all new and weird to me. Put it on the list. It could be. I'm not defending it. I am saying I can see it working. It's a split decision. I could eat it and hate it. I could try and hate it, but you'll be on my side at the end of it. We can delay

justice. I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm searching my heart and I can't come out swinging against it. Do you think in the Supreme Court when they can't all get on the same page, not that they ever need to, but... Good, they never do.

Do you think a food crime's ever been brought up to them and they're like, we have to try it. Yeah, we have to try this. Justice Alito is going, come on, man. Give me some of that. All right. It's a split decision.

So Ning can continue, but I think it's going to go on the list of things we have to try. For now. Yep. All right. We got a few minutes left, so we have enough for one, maybe two more. This is from Robert W. Honorable Judge Kings and Eric. Come on. Nice. I come to you today as a humble bug to bring to your attention what I believe to be a grave

crime committed by one of my friends, Peter. Peter has begun to put Kool-Aid mix into Dr. Pepper. When questioned- Gracie was unmoved. Yeah, Gracie didn't give a fuck. I'm not mad about it. Gracie is smiling. Yeah. She's not unmoved. Gracie didn't give a fuck I'm not mad about it Gracie is smiling Yeah

Not unmoved Well I was expecting Something big I was expecting like Perking up Eyes open My eyes definitely widened When questioned

He justified his odd And disturbing behavior By saying quote It just made sense I mean you put Flavored syrups You put flavored syrups In soda

To make it taste better Right? And at least I'm not putting it in coffee. Like what? What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean flavored syrups in coffee? It's the Utah. Remember the

Utah sodas they had? Vanilla syrup, coconut syrup. Yeah. Remember we had Jake on roller skates and he made us sodas and then we all felt sick because we drank so much soda? Yeah, it was bad, right? Yeah, it sucked. It sucked ass. Yeah, it was bad.

So he's using that as like a grounds for- That's his justification. Yeah. But also, hey, at least it's not something worse. But coffee. Coffee, yeah. Upon trying his cursed creation, his first response was to say, not bad. It definitely makes the soda taste better.

To clarify, neither of us are fans of Dr. Pepper, but his wife is, and bought a two liter to accompany the pizza. This was Peter's attempted solution to cut the distastefulness of the Dr. Pepper. What? Hey, here's a solution. Just drink the fucking Kool-Aid.

Drink the Dr. Pepper. That's what I'm saying. Just drink the Kool-Aid that you have packets of. Put that in water, you fucking idiot. Jesus Christ. What? Robert says, God, I got all this Dr. Pepper. How do I get through it? Hang on.

Nick is just holding up a sign. You know it's a bad one. I don't understand that. Also, like. Nick's holding up a sign that says idiot. Not that it truly, like, makes a difference, but it's the soda with 23 flavors. Yes, but now it has 24.

And less than Kool-Aid. Which is just more sugar. And it's probably like a fruit punch flavor. Yeah, probably. Generally. I was on their side until they said that they don't like Dr. Pepper. Yeah. Well, you took that personally. Yeah. Well, like, I would try it. She still wants to drink it, but she loves Dr. Pepper.

I would try it, but it would be fair because I like the base. Him not liking the base defeats the purpose. Robert says, I'll let you know myself. I did try it. It did not work. So I'm here to ask you to formally declare Peter a freak and hammer him for my amusement. I thank you for your time and hope you'll carefully consider berating this animal for his transgressions

I was about to say Nick wants to try that too I was going to say maybe we should Okay that's fine I don't need to but I'll do it I'll eat the steak and then I'll try this We'll get applesauce I'll tell you one thing though

When it turned into Dr. Pepper slander I was not on board anymore Because it's like why are we doing it? We try still guilty is what Nick says. That's kind of where I'm like, it's like, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. We're a rule.

But like afterward, we're going to try it. The thing that gets me is like. Yeah, we don't need to try it to rule though. Yeah. Like 100%. Oh, yeah. This isn't one of those. My wife bought a two liter of Dr. Pepper.

I don't like it. So I'm going to mix it with Kool-Aid. Also. What? I'm going to be honest. I thought he was going to say my wife bought a two liter of Dr. Pepper. I don't like it, so I'm going to mix it with Kool-Aid. Also, I'm going to be honest, I thought he was going to say, my wife bought like two 24-pack cases of Dr. Pepper. Right, like a fuck ton. You have a two liter bottle. Yeah, just don't drink that.

Let her have it. Wait the two days and it'll be gone. Like, what? Well, that's a lot in two days, but yeah. Well, not when you're mixing it with Kool-Aid. Dude, imagine the crash after a whole packet of Kool-Aid and a Dr. Pepper. I mean, it's just, just don't have it. Just have water.

Have some milk that the other guy's wife left out. Have some warm milk. And it's not warm because it's heated up. And throw some orange juice in there anyway, just for fun. And then add in the curdled milk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you got it. And then applesauce. We're on the same page. Hammered. You're hammered.

I mean, like, terrible, right? Terrible. I love just none of the justification. I don't buy any of it. No. Well, at least I'm not doing it with coffee. Who said you were gonna I gotta put it in something At least it's Dr. Pepper

It sounds like he really wants to put it in coffee It sounds like he's tiptoeing Towards putting it in coffee Unless you think that'd be cool Unless we're all bored with that We should try it maybe We just mess around. What if it just fell in?

We don't need to tell anybody. It'd be our secret. Where did that coffee come from? I tried eggnog in coffee, and it was bad. I like eggnog in coffee. I think it's fine. Really? I think it's fine. I just did it on a whim to see

if it actually milked in some way. But guess what? I remembered. Yeah. Different thing, different name. It's a different thing, different name. It's totally not milk.

And it did not work out very well. It made it a little too sweet. I think it was fine. It was. It very much sweetened it. One time I didn't have sugar in the house, so I added sprinkles because we had cupcake sprinkles. How did that go?

Just to see if that would like do anything. That's like adding Kool-Aid to your coffee. Yeah, it really didn't work, and it made me feel like it was something that Zooey Deschanel would do in The New Girl. She would be like, I'm putting sprinkles in my coffee. Isn't that fun?

It's like, yes. We were all out of sugar. Yeah, it's that, and that's 100% how it felt. Schmidt said it would be okay. Did you feel like... I felt pretty magical, but also I never did it again I hated it it was waxy

so I say Peter's a freak is that the ruling yeah for sure 100% drink water drink Kool-Aid it's always great when on the surface it's innocent enough or like even just weird enough but then you keep talking

and you dig the hole deeper for yourself and it makes this side against you even more. Yuck city, dude. Yeah. That's a good ruling. Here's a fast one. This is from Jess. All-knowing bug king girl.

This is Jess from New Girl. Can you read it like Zoe Dish now? All-knowing bug kings. I just found out my friend makes this dish and require your assistance determining if it's a food crime. Here's the dish. You take a can of tuna and you mix it with a bowl of mayo.

Good start. Decent start. Then you cook some spaghetti and then you mix it with your tuna mayo mixture as well. If you are feeling fancy, you add some parsley on the top. Let me know your thoughts on the dish. Is it a travesty of food combinations? Should we accept that he's an animal indulging in a combination of ingredients? I await your ruling.

Is this sauced spaghetti? That's what it sounds like. It does not sound like there's a... I don't even think they would... They wouldn't even do this in Cincinnati. No. Yeah. What?

No. Yeah. Terrible. Imagine it like the mayonnaise and the tuna coating each. Terrible. Strain of spaghetti. I like tuna fish. Sure.

I like spaghetti. Uh-huh. No. That's crazy. No. No. Michael's like stuck on loop. He can't get out of this.

He hates it. He hates it. He just keeps thinking about it and it hits him again. Oh my God. Way to future. Way to future. Yep. Way to this. He hates it. He just keeps thinking about it and it hits him again. Oh my God. Way of the future. Way of the future. Way of the future. So what do we say?

Jess's friend? Fucking animal? No! Yeah. Yeah. I think everyone's pretty against it. Terrible.

That was a fast one. Terrible. Yeah. Just bad. Hammer him. Yeah. Hammer him. Well, right on time.

Yeah. So if you want to send in your food crimes, you can. You can email facejampod at roosterteeth.com. They don't all have to be my friend does weird thing. No. I liked the one about leaving the kitchen etiquette, leaving the food out. Like if you've got anything food related. Let us know.

It doesn't have to be gross food that Michael then tries. But that is the way that it is. Hey, if you want to support us directly, you go to facejampod.com slash first. Sign up for first. That supports this show, helps us make some more stuff, and helps us go to the Boysenberry Festival. We get applesauce steak. It helps us get applesauce steak. How are we doing on that?

Are we rolling in it yet? Oh. We're rolling in it. Oh, baby. We're rolling in Boysenberry? We're, yeah, I have a... I just meant, like, subscriptions. I mean, we're rolling it. We're rolling in boysenberry? Yeah, I have a... I just meant, like, subscriptions. I mean, we're rolling medium.

Yeah. But you can go to facejampod.com slash first, and that's how you sign up to support this show directly. It's like five bucks, so whatever. And you get more videos that we're doing taste tests, things like that, behind the paywall. There's some more stuff on our YouTube channel and on facejampod.com

where you don't have to be a first member, but there's more. You could wait YouTube channel and on FaceJamPod.com where you don't have to be a first member, but there's more. You could wait also for like 12 months, every 18 months or so when we put up old stuff on YouTube. Yeah, but that's only a couple of things. You're not getting all of it. You're missing Ride Along, which at the time of this recording, Nick has taken it mobile and we went all over to different subways And the boss is crazy It's a really good one So catch up on some of the old stuff

But that's all the news and notes for Face Jam now I don't have to read the outro so I'm gonna eat these fruit chews Oh wow Go for it Michael Open the text thread Pulling it up Is that Andrew? Thanks for the bump

It's Andy Open the text thread. Pulling it up. Is that Andrew? Thanks for the bump. It's Andy. Hey, thanks for listening to Spitting Silly. Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Gem next week. That's right, next week, idiot. Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want. Goodbye. I'm I'm I'm