100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 13

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

Order in the court, the FOOD COURT! Our Hero Judges are back to rule on more cases from you loyal bugs. This week it's dipping bread in hot chocolate, PB&J in Chicken Noodle Soup, table crumbs vs. feed bag style, meat tasting pretzel combos, microwaved ice cream, and condensed milk sandwiches. Sponsored by ExpressVPN Go to http://expressvpn.com/facejam to get an extra 3 months free. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 The Fortnite podcast where anything can happen and it probably does. I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, alongside my host, Michael Jones.

I flinged it. That's flinged. Michael, how are you flinging? I flung a steez with a little flick. You have three cans of steez. Not anymore, I know. Now you have two cans of steez and a juvie. Please bust into the juvie so we can try it.

I'm holding off on the juvie. Yeah, he doesn't need it yet. I don't need rejuvenating energy yet. He slept good, he doesn't need it. I thought it on the juvie. Yeah. He doesn't need it yet. I don't need rejuvenating energy yet. He slept good. He doesn't need it. I thought it tasted like juvie. No, no, no, no. It tastes like blue-vie.

Oh. Because it's blue raspberry juvie. All right, I'll open it because you want it. Is that one of the dogs from Bluey? Yeah. Blue-vie? Suck it down. Hey.

The dad's name is Bandit. Yeah. What's his mom's name? Chili. Chili. He's right. Mom. I was taking a seat his mom's name? Chili. Chili, he's right. I was taking a seat. Isn't there another dog? Well, there's only two parents.

Yeah, the kid. That's Bluey. You talking about Bingo? I thought there was one other. Bingo. That's the younger sister. I didn't know that. What are you, some kind of dumbass?

I don't have kids, so I don't watch the show. Yeah, me neither, but I got cats, so. Get your fucking head checked. Your cats watch Bluey? No, he likes the Broadway musical Cats. He likes the butthole edition of the movie that they didn't release. Edit it back in. Put the buttholes in.

They're so jellicle. Hey, it's a food court. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm in contempt. We need some rulings from our honorable judge kings. Whoa. Oh, what the?

I was like simulating a bang. Yeah. By doing a bang. That was pretty good. It actually wasn't a simulation at all. It was like when Gracie posed that hypothetical. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hypothetically, here's a real situation.

If you want to send us in your food court submissions, you can for now at facejampodroosterteeth.com. We'll figure that out later. Don't worry about it. We'll put them somewhere safe. Look at that one. Was Gracie going to put on a ring? She's a big fan of Michael's new rings.

I'm not kidding. Like 15. That's a lot. How do you decide which ones you're going to wear each day? Well, because only so many fit so many fingers. It's true. Right. Right.

But so you wake up and you're like... Yeah. Do you have one on every finger? I play around. No, I've been going with six. Okay. On each hand. Oh, okay.

Sometimes I throw in the pinkies. Haven't done thumbs yet. I think you need to add some thumbs. Okay. I'll look into it. You know what you should do? Go on. You should really look at some toe rings.

Oh. I don't like hanging my toes out. I think you can make it work. I know I can make it work. I'm gonna get one of those forever anklets that like they spot well. Oh, there's another snake one too. Gracie knows all about it. It's another snake ring. Yep. Hey, here's our first

food court submission. Submitted to Facejam Potter. I want to talk about rings more actually. No, I think we're good. Do you want to try on the snake? Sure, I'll try on the snake ring. Oh, what I happen to do. Gracie put it on Jordan, and I did not like that at all. I thought she was going to hand it to me.

Well, I was just handing it to him like that, and then you put your finger on it. I now pronounce you Jordan. What I happen to do is wearing black on my left hand and silver on my right hand. That's pretty cool. Nick held up a sign and said weird, and I agree. How are you feeling about it? I'm just kind of stuck with this boring little thing. Yeah, right.

I hear that. Boring little wedding ring. I hear that. I feel powerful. Oh, wow. Yeah. It's got like an emerald in it. I feel like maybe I could cast some spells or something.

I bet you could. A chow emerald. A chow. Okay, there it goes. It is Weem. She is running the stream. Sarah! Hi.

I heard y'all were running out of emails. Not true. So I thought I'd bring up two things. I do that some people said were abnormal. They're putting themselves on blast. When I was a kid, whenever I'd make hot chocolate, I'd eat it with toast. I like to dip the toast in the drink and eat delicious, warm, chocolatey, wet bread. I started asking people if they did this as a kid,

and every time they look at me weird. Yeah, no shit. Has no one else really done this? I haven't done it since I was a kid because I don't drink hot chocolate anymore. But if I did drink hot chocolate, you know I'd be making toast and dipping it. Some people ask me if I put jam on my bread.

That sounds gross. Oh, my God. What if my chocolate started tasting like jam? I just use typical American grocery store sliced bread. What does that mean? I've never tried it with fancy bread. White bread? Maybe the texture and the taste would be weird.

Joe is accosting someone outside. Good. What do you think of dipping your bread in hot chocolate? No. Sounds awful. Not just bread, but bread is awful, but toast also sounds bad. Yeah. Bread or toast?

Toast. I mean, it's better than bread, but not much. I think it's a liquid. In hot chocolate for it to be toasted. Yeah. I think it's weird either way. No, it is. I think it's hard to.

But on toast it seems like a little more. I think it's weird either way. No, it is. I think it's hard to... Jam makes sense. It seems like a little more... Has he ever thought about Nutella? That... See, now, if you put Nutella on the toast and then dipped it,

I would still think it's weird, but it's verging closer into donut coffee territory. No, I'm just saying don't dip it. Right. Just put Nutella on it. The way the email is written

is like, people asked if I should put jam on my toast, and I'm like, I asked if I should put jam on my toast, and I'm like, I'm not going to dip jam in my hot chocolate. Nobody suggested you do that. Yeah. Just try jam. What they're saying is try jam.

That's crazy. Yeah. Look, he knows it's weird. Yeah, this is Amara who sent this in, and they're saying that they think it's, is it weird, essentially, is what they're asking. Yeah, it's definitely weird. Don't get bread wet.

If you can't find anyone else to back you up. If you think you have this shared childhood experience that's universal, and you start asking people and they look at you weird, maybe you just can't do this. Maybe if you want to find some like-minded people, your best bet is probably go to Burger King. Anybody sleeping at Burger King might. Or in the Little Caesars. Might. Or Little Caesars. But it might be a little smelly.

Okay, wait. I feel like we talk about people's weird childhood food habits a lot. Did y'all have any? They all thought we're normal? No, we're all normal, I think. Yeah, we're super normal.

I think all kids have something odd, right? Who are normal. I did the normal kid stuff. Like, you pour, like, chocolate milk and soda together. What? I've never done that. Yeah, that's not...

Okay, so you're refraining one out. Right, but I stopped doing it. Yeah. No, no, sure. You're not emailing a podcast about it. In elementary school, you just, like, you get,

sometimes if you have a lunch, but then you get, like, school lunch. I don't know what he wrote. I ate cream cheese with a spoon. That's not really that weird. That's not that weird.

That's more just like gremlin-y. Yes. That's not crazy. That's like standing at the fridge Tony Soprano style just shoving your face

or eating a bag of shredded cheese. Or like frosting out of a thing. Because the gabagool triggered you. I also have a feeling that he still does this.

Well, that I can believe. I used to eat, which I don't think we were all staring at him and it was a long pause. I don't know if this is weird though, but growing up on the East Coast, eating cold cuts all the time. I wouldn't even get to it yet.

Yeah. He sounds like a chihuahua. I know, dude. Yeah, get him, Gracie. My mother would, she would take a salami, like a chihuahua. I know, dude. Yeah, get him, Gracie. My mother would, she would take a slice of salami, put cream cheese in it, and roll it up. Oh, wow. I feel like that's like a little hors d'oeuvre. Yeah, that's not bad. I would eat that now.

I don't, but I would still eat that. I like that. It's salami and cheese. It's just different cheese. I have a really weird one for me. Go ahead. Go right ahead. I should never, like, I'm going to regret admitting this.

Yes, you are. I don't even know if you can call it. Hey, it's not Go ahead. Go right ahead. I should never, like, I'm going to regret admitting this. Yes, you are. I mean, it's like, I don't even know if you can call it. Hey, it's not being recorded. It's fine. Right. This isn't going to go anywhere. This might not even come out. Yeah, no.

We might just go on a vacation early. Yeah, just looking at dates. I don't even know if you can call this a food conundrum because one of the involved ingredients wasn't food. Okay. Good start. So when I was really little, like like my parents had a lot of friends that also had kids the same ages as me and my brother so we would always go to like this local

mexican restaurant and they would put us all at one kid's table and just be like okay fuck off go do your thing whoa that's awesome that's pretty cool very cool took it upon ourselves every time to get the tortilla chips that were you know complimentary uh-huh we would color on them with the crayons that they gave you for the kids' menus and eat them. So we'd be like, oh, I'm going to have

a blue chip or I'm going to have a red chip. How would they break when you're coloring them? Were you just super gentle? We must have been. But like,

it got to a point where like our parents had to check the crayons and be like, non-toxic? Okay. Go ahead. I mean, obviously they weren't in support, but they were like, if you're going to do it, at least let's make sure

you're not going to die from it. It really does explain a lot, actually. We used to do that. This is the guy who invented the food trough, right? Yes. This is also the same brother that, when I... I'm sharing a lot of really bad stuff.

Good, good, good. Get him out. I don't even remember him out I was like I don't even remember this like I was like a baby we were on a trampoline and there was bird poop on it my brother said oh Gracie tootsie roll

Gracie it's bird poop I don't even remember it I have no idea I had to have been like two or three. Gracie! And he told me to eat bird poop. How was it? What if I was like, dude, it was so good.

I think about it all the time. And she's been chasing that high ever since. That's why I don't mess with chocolate because it never lives up to the hype. Oh my god! Here's a real Tootsie Roll. This isn't how I remember them tasting. Yeah, this is not what I remember.

Oh, my God. Yeah, so I had salami and cream cheese. Yeah. And sometimes I'd pour chocolate milk and soda. Or if I got real crazy, I'd put Doritos on my lunch money sandwich. Oh, that's ideal. That's ideal. Salami and American cheese sandwich with Doritos.

Do you ever do the thing where you get the fruit by the foot and wrap it around your finger? Oh, yeah. What? No, not really. That was a big thing at my school. Like the long one? Yeah, then you get like a big witch finger. Oh, no, I know that.

I always preferred fruit roll-ups over fruit by the foot. And you gotta get the little... They tasted better. They're not stickers, but you gotta peel them out. The tongue tattoos. Yeah, the tongue tattoos. But then it would get to a point where I'm not peeling it anymore and I'm balling that thing up.

Have y'all seen the trend where people wrap them around ice cream? It's like a new thing that apparently you get a Fruit Roll-Up and a scoop of vanilla ice cream and you wrap it up and it makes the Fruit Roll-Up freeze or something. It's apparently really good. I've never tried it. Before we have to put them down?

We should call whatever we do last Face Jam the last meal. That's really good. I've never tried it. Some sort of ice cream dumpling. Before we have to put them down? Yeah. Huh? Huh? We should call whatever we do last, Face Jam, the last meal. That's pretty good. The final supper. Okay, so what do you think of- If you're thinking the last supper, Jesus, I was thinking we're going to be executed. Yeah, absolutely. You see what I'm saying?

The sacrifice of the monkey? So what do you think of- Okay, or just him. Sure. Or just him. What do you say about Amara's toast? What's the ruling? Don't go back to that.

No. It's weird. Yeah. Don't go back to that. No. It's weird. Yeah. Don't do it. Unless you're making figgy pudding. Figgy pudding. Keep that bread out of there, dude.

Moistened bread in general. Yeah. There's very, very few exceptions. Yeah. And they work, but I imagine it's taken hundreds of years of research to come up with a way to get bread wet.

To get moist bread. Yeah. The meals that you know that include moist and dry. There's a reason there's only three. Yeah. Wait, can we elaborate on them? What are they? I'm thinking like Tres Leches.

Tres Leches. That's like a cake that's kind of more drenched than other cakes, I guess. Yeah, get bread wet and it sogs. Yeah. And it's no good. Yeah. And you're just putting it in liquid. Yeah.

French toast. You're just dipping it right in there. You kind of have to get that Yeah, but but you're making a custard you're and you're like cooking it like a French toast and those are all the ones Yeah, yeah, so we're gonna say Amara you have to stop doing this Or at least accept it's weird. Yeah, I mean if you can just say I'm being weird about this find a baby and trick it into Eating poop. Yeah Yeah Or I'm being weird about this. Find a baby and trick it into eating poop. Yeah. If you can do that, then you're absolved. That's the only way you can offset it. Let us know. I've given Connor a really bad reference. Good.

Yeah, he deserves it from what I hear. All right. Gabble me. All right, here's our next one. This is from Naomi. Hello, esteemed honorable judges, Bailiff Sauce Monkey and Rat Man. Hello. Gracie didn't even get to make the list. That's okay, that's fine.

I have a food crime to present to you. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich and chicken noodle soup. When I first met my boyfriend, now husband, he told me one of his favorite comfort foods was a PB&J sandwich dipped in a bowl of Campbell's chicken noodle soup. Why? Dipping it! Au jus style. More breading liquid! Au jus style. Oh, one of the few exceptions.

There you go. Grilled cheese in tomato soup. Even tomato soup's a little bit thicker, though. It's not water or milk. Here's where it keeps coming together. Doesn't seem to matter the jelly, but he suggests Chunky to be

the correct choice of peanut butter in this disaster. Picture this culinary catastrophe. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich, beloved by his many nostalgic and comfort food, desecrated by its immersion in a bowl of chicken noodle soup. The mere thought induces a visceral reaction of disgust in me. So I married him.

To the point that I forbade him from eating this combination around me for the last eight years. Around me. Wow. I understand and agree that individually peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chicken noodle soup are classic nostalgic comfort foods. But I asked the judges, am I right for banning this combination or should I let Kevin, oh she named him, have this grotesque amalgamation back in his life?

Your loyal bug Naomi from Portland, Oregon Well what I like is immediately It just reminded me of Gracie's story Where his wife is kind of just like I'll make sure it's non-toxic And you can go eat it over there At the Kevin table Away from me

When I'm not here When she goes out of town or something He's like oh I know He's coming out of the basement He's making that shit in the kitchen Every meal baby Get the smell of chicken noodle soup emanating throughout the house Chunky peanut butter

It's that TikTok trend of like parents not home Instead of like dog on the counter It's peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the chicken noodle soup In my soup Just eat them separate. Back to back. They are good. They are good things, but just don't have to combine them.

Do you think that that would leave him with too much of a sense of longing to have them so close to each other but not together? I feel like I eat stuff. I can't even name anything off the top of my head, but I eat stuff that doesn't go together at all, but I just eat them one after another. Yeah. Eat whatever you want and then ice cream.

I don't need to put the ice cream in the steak. That's a great point. You know what I mean? I eat the steak, then I eat the ice cream. What, are we talking about ice cream steak? I'm talking about ice cream steak, but if you get a good glaze on it, I mean, probably better than this. Better than peanut butter and jelly and chicken noodle soup. Can we wrap the ice cream in a

fruit roll-up? I don't know why you always gotta eat this shit at the same time. Put it in your mouth at the same time. I feel like it's something that happened once and then maybe it was... Did he trip and drop it into the chicken noodle soup? How does he even eat it, I guess, is my other question.

One time. Does he dunk it? Are we talking fully submerging? Because you're not even eating fucking chicken noodle soup at that point. What are you doing with the chicken and the noodles?

It's the broth. You can't, right, you're just getting the broth. I bet he's eating the rest of it later. It's not a bread spoon. I bet he's eating, don't, he thought

that was cool. That sucks. Bread bowl? Bread spoon. Okay. Another instance in which wet bread is okay.

Sourdough bowl of soup. Yeah, but it's not getting wet. It's at the bottom and it's like sourdough is so fucking hard it like softens it but it doesn't disintegrate. We're talking about white bread here, I assume.

Just doesn't have PB&J sandwiches. Regular American bread. Regular American bread, damn it. This bread only I assume. Just doesn't know PB&J sandwiches. Regular American bread. Regular American bread, damn it. This bread only speaks English. These colors don't run. Okay, what's the ruling on this one? What do you think? Okay, so the ass- Try it separate. He probably has been for about eight years.

No, I feel like maybe he's just too scared. Here's what I would do. It'll combine in your tummy. Here's what I would do if I'm Kevin's wife. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to tell Kevin one night, hey, we're having a special dinner. We're going to have some chicken noodle soup.

Uh-huh. And he's like, wow, I love that. Uh-huh. That's how Kevin sounds wow, I love that. Uh-huh. And then. That's how Kevin sounds. Yeah. He gets excited about it. So then you have that.

And then as a little like. For dessert. You bust out the peanut butter and jelly. Make sure he's eaten all his soup. Oh, yeah. And then he's going to be like, oh, these, you know, this is just close enough together that I still kind of like it. And I'm not grossing out my wife and making her force me to eat this in another room. Hide from me for eight years. Well, I can eat it in a closet away from my wife.

So why don't we take that baby step and see if he's receptive to that. I think that's a great ruling. Yeah, let's give that a shot. In fact, I feel like not only do we know that it sucks because the bread goes in the broth, but the fact that we can you say you like the two foods and the chicken noodle soup and there's no way you're getting the chicken or the noodles.

It fails right there. You're not actually combining these two foods. I'm unfortunately picturing a fucking pho spoon. He's trying. I bet he tries. He's spooning it on there.

I bet he tries. But like how long, how long until the bread just disintegrates? You know what I mean? Immediately. No, it has to be so fast. So you're not getting shit out of that bowl. Yeah. So why don't we try, why don't we try separating them?

Okay. That's a good ruling. Let's see what happens. Come on, Kevin. Yeah. That's a good ruling. Let's see what happens. Come on, Kevin. Yeah. That's a good ruling. Here's our next one. We are fair judges.

Absolutely. Dear Sauce Monks. New one. Oh, okay. My partner, Dan, and I, Mike, have a history of tolerating each other's food crimes. Okay. This is just tolerating each other. A history of tolerance.

Ready? Ready? Okay. Whose are worse? Oh. Here's Dan's crime. Dan. After a meal,

after a meal, she will often pick at crumbs that she left on the table and eat them as she goes. Our table is only disinfected once a week. Wait, what? What do you mean? Are we not using plates?

I don't know. You're just crumbing on a table? They went to the food truck. That's how you get ants. Yep. Well, no, not when Dan's around eating all the crumbs. Here's Mike's. I often eat things out of, this one I can't figure out.

I often eat things out of the Ziploc slash grocery bags that are stored in by reaching in with my mouth. What? Wait, wait. Okay, okay. I often eat things out of the ziploc slash grocery bags that are stored in by reaching in with my mouth Wait, okay. Okay. One such instance one such instance was cold rice I have been known to do this while driving before that he's eating like a horse. Yes Yes demonstrating with sauce bags. He's strapping to his head. But if there's stuff at the bottom, he's a feeding trough. He's doing a feed bag. He's doing an anteater style. Yeah, it's a feed bag style.

It is. It's feed bag, food trough style. So one's eating at the food trough and the other one's eating like a horse. But those are both horses. The crumbs are less gross in my opinion. Yeah, honestly, I kind of agree with that. Like, I mean, food hygiene wise, probably that one's probably worse.

Yeah. But cold rice out of a Ziploc bag straight into your mouth. I'm imagining like when you like hold a Ziploc and like your hot breath is like it's like steaming up. You're probably going to be getting fucking freaked out. Like that's gross. Like I can see it. Unless you're like smushing and squeezing it like a

frosting bag. Icing where you're squeezing it out. You're either doing that, but it's a Ziploc bag, so it doesn't work as well. But he's saying he's going mouth in the bag. Well, I'm saying mouth in the bag, but you still might have to push it into your mouth from the other side. Or you're going

and just get whatever comes out. Yeah, dude. Spaghetti in a bag? You still might have to like push it into your mouth from the other side. I think that's what he's doing. Or you're going. And just get whatever comes out. Yeah, dude. Spaghetti in a bag. Actually, I've seen that with Jeff and Gavin. It's true. We made spaghetti in a bag. Friends of yours?

Did it work? It's disgusting. Did it work? I mean, I guess. Okay. They didn't try to eat it. We've got some data. But it looks gross. So I can imagine what this character is doing. I think food in the bag is worse. I'm ruling against Mike. Okay. They didn't try to eat. We've got some data. But it looks gross, so I can imagine what this character is doing.

I think food in the bag is worse. I'm ruling against Mike. Okay. Yeah. Dan, you win. Congratulations. Keep eating your table crumbs? But maybe try a plate.

Yeah. Because you could eat the crumbs off the plate, too. But I'm like, is it starting on a plate? And then it's like spreading? It could be. If you're eating crumbs on the plate, how messy are we getting? Well, I have a plate, and I eat my sandwich. And when I'm done, I you're eating crumbs on the table, how messy are we getting? Well, I have a plate, and I eat my sandwich, and when I'm done,

I pour all the crumbs on the table so I can come back later. Someone can try it out if they want. You don't need the crumbs. No, leave the crumbs. They're not going to make a difference. You could also, but maybe it's crumbs like Gracie's crumbs,

which is the whole pizza. That is, yeah, because she just tore off the crust. Does anyone want my pizza crumb? This entire triangle? I do that a lot. It's weird. Jordan Levin didn't want that. That's so weird. I specifically offered that one to him.

I wish I had another piece of that crust though. I'll take it up with him later. Yeah, you do that. Schedule yourself for a meeting on May 13th. So the ruling is... Against Mike in favor of Dan. Against Mike in favor of Dan. I wouldn't say I'm in favor of Dan.

No, but... You have to pick a winner. You have to pick a winner. Coups are worse. That's the way they put it. It's like a loser. I think we have to pick a loser and that's it. Okay.

No winners, one loser. I think I might be two losers. But there you go. Mike, you got slammed. Sorry. Let Dan know. Keep there you go. Mike, you got slammed. Sorry. Let Dan know. Keep crumming. Give me a gavel.

All right. Here's the next one. No, no pretense. Just right into it. All right. I come to you, my great kings, to ask for your help

as I believe my taste buds are fried. I made a discovery whilst eating pretzel sticks. Yeah. Is this from Gracie? You let me know if this is from you, Gracie. That the pretzel

gunk that gets stuck in between my teeth when washed down with orange soda takes on a meat-like taste. Wait. What? I know it's not from Gracie because it wasn't Dr. Pepper. Wait. They're saying that the mixture of the bread and the orange soda is giving meat?

I understand what pretzel gunk is. It's giving meat. It's like, I don't need to get that with regular. That's crazy. I don't get that with regular pretzels, but if you're sucking on a pretzel stick like a beaver eating a lollipop, you'll start to get that pretzel gunk yes soft pretzel stick or like little no no you know like crunchy in like the bag crunchy pretzels yeah like when you eat cheez-its and they get in the corner yeah yeah i'm telling you for sure if you suck on them

you get that you get the meat you can no not the meat but i'm just talking about the goo oh okay you can the goo for sure you can like suck on stick, whether it's a big stick or a little stick, and basically with your teeth, gnaw off the outer rim of the pretzel. I don't know what we're talking about anymore. That's exactly what I'm talking about. He's gnawing rims off pretzels. Kind of like eating corn off the cob. He's cribbing on a pretzel.

Yeah, you suck it off. Yeah. And it gives you this like goo-like substance. He's talking about that. Plus orange soda equals meat, I guess. I request that the honorable judges of Face Jam Food Court try this combination. Absolutely not. So I have the official ruling on whether or not I am insane.

I don't think we need to try it. You are insane, but I'll suck on some pretzel goo. I'm just interested to know if it really tastes like meat. It doesn't, Gracie. I can't imagine what part of that would. I'll tell you right now. It doesn't. Here's what I'll goo. I'm just interested to know if it really tastes like meat. It doesn't, Gracie. I can't imagine what part of that would. I'll tell you right now. It doesn't. Here's what I'll say.

I'm not interested in this. Gracie is. Yeah. I'll try it. I'm going to relinquish my judge rule. Wow. Temporarily. For the power.

For the power. Deputizing. That's crazy. Gracie as a member of the food court. Gracie. So that Gracie and Michael can do this. Here's what I think we should do. Okay.

Gracie, I think that you should and Michael can do this. Here's what I think we should do. Gracie, I think that you should use the card when you to buy pretzel sticks and orange soda and then film yourself doing this and we will have an official ruling on it. Just me? I'm the only one doing it? Yeah.

No! You're doing it also? I wanted Gracie to just get it done. This is great. Let's go do it. I will go get them now. Yeah, let's go do it now. Okay, we'll do it right after this, I guess. Yeah, it's not far.

All right, so Cameron, yours is delayed because you're going to... Don't get anything crazy, though, like dots. No, I'll get like... No, like Snyder's. Like the pretzel sticks. Yeah, and then some Fanta. There's thin sticks and there's fat sticks. I don't know which ones he's talking about. I think you got to get the thin ones and you just eat like 10 of them.

And then you got gunk in your teeth. I can suck off the little guys too. Whoa. I'm just saying, get me a big guy and I'll show you how it's done. I'll put that big stick in my mouth and suck it clean. And then I'll have some Pedialyte because he's a real pedophile. Big time. Yeah, big pedophile.

He's being energized and refueled. Cameron, stay tuned. I think we have time for one more. Hurry up, bro. When my cousin is making ice cream, she'll put it in a bowl and add toppings to it, usually chocolate sauce. Then she'll put it in the microwave and melt it like 80%, so that it's basically liquid, then mix it

up. I asked her why she does this, because it feels pointless in having ice cream if you're just going to melt it, and she said, quote, I like it. I will add that this conversation was a few years ago, so if the court needs further clarification, I can follow up. This is from Lachlan. You should have followed up first.

That's insane. That is 80% too much. I'll put it in for a couple seconds, because it's too hard. It's hard. When you have that really hard ice cream That you have to like fucking dig at It's pointless You heat up the scoop and then you go Well not if you're eating right out of the container

Exactly baby You gotta wedge the spoon in there But when you pry it out Sometimes it'll fling the ice cream I've done it where I went to scoop the hard ice cream. You get that spoon in there finally and then you go to wedge it out and the spoon goes...

It just bends. And then you're like, there is no spoon. There is no spoon. Couple seconds in the microwave. If there's a little bit of liquid at the top... Some frost. That's fine. Oh, you're talking after the microwave. I know someone who does this. What's up? Puts it in the microwave? I literally know somebody who does that. Really? But who does this. What's up? I literally know somebody who does that. Really?

I don't know them that well. I went to high school with this person and then he went and played football at some big course. He would always post him doing it. He would post him back waving it and be like, guys, y'all gotta get on this or whatever.

No one's getting on this. But he does it exactly the same. Not like a subtle amount, like a full like. This is Rob Gronkowski. Did this? I would not. No, I could name drop him, but like we weren't like that. Like we weren't really friends.

Name drop him. We'll bleep it if it's important. Do it. Just say his first name. His name was Trevor. Okay. I mean, that's it. Now we know who you are. You're out it, motherfucker. And I do know where he played football.

Trevor Lawrence. Dude, just Google Trevor melted ice cream football. Got it. Maybe he'll come up that way. We got him. Maybe he'll come up that way. We'll track him down. We'll be Googling him now. If there's like a slim chance he listens to this, he's going to be like,

what the fuck? He's going to be like. Well, he's going to spit out his hot ice cream. Get on this. He's going to go. What? Gracie, I thought

we were acquaintances. Hey. I like that you coughed into your hat and then put it on your head. Put it back on. I'm saving all my coughs for later. Hey. Yeah like that you coughed into your hat and then put it on your head. Put it back on. I'm saving all my coughs for later. Hey.

Yeah. Ew. Lockland sent in another one. Okay, let's see here. Back to back or just? Same email. Oh, okay. But I mean, like, are they next to each other?

They fire off too immediately? My aunt makes condensed milk sandwiches. Wait, how? It's exactly what you think it is. No, I don't know what it is. A slice of bread. Then you dump a whole can or whatever amount you want. Not on the bread.

And then another slice of bread. No. Or if you're lazy, you just use one slice of bread and fold it in half. No. I will give her the benefit of the doubt because she said it was something she made while she was in university. What? Who cares? I shit my pants

when I was a kid. Well, I did it. Some of us ate bird poop. Gotta keep doing it. We don't buy toys. But, if we're at her house and mention making lunch or getting a snack, she'll say we should have a condensed milk sandwich. What exactly is condensed milk?

Just sugar. It is like a sugar. Syrup isn't the right word because it's like thicker. It's like a targeted powder. It's milk from which water has been removed. It's most often found with sugar added's cow's milk from which water is then removed. It's most often found with sugar added in the form of sweetened condensed milk. Is it like gel? Yeah, it's like gel.

It's in Vietnamese coffee. Yes. It's that thick goop. And she's putting it on her slice of bread. Let's eat that too. Yeah, go ahead. Put it on the list. I'll try it. I won't put it on Gracie. I'll try this one. Yeah, you can Put it on the list I'll try it, I'll try it I won't put it on Gracie, I'll try this one

Yeah, you can try that one All of these things are funny because every time they name one I'm like, I've heard stories of people doing stuff Like I also heard a story of a guy who would eat it Eat condensed milk Like with a spoon and it rotted all his teeth out Cool, also Trevor He also smoked crack

This was like a guy on a podcast. But I'm pretty sure it was from the condensed milk. I'm pretty sure. He was carrying around this little glass pipe. Sometimes it was a pipe, sometimes it was used as a spoon.

This reminds me of what we were talking about earlier. Stuff we would melt it down. And when we were kids, what we would eat? Butter sandwiches. So toast? Just two slices of bread. American bread, baby.

American bread, USA, baby. Born and raised. I would eat that when I was a kid. I would also throw a tortilla directly onto the stove burner and get that warm and put some butter on that. Oh, yeah. Wrap it up. Yeah.

I mean, that's a roll-up. I still do that. Dude, you do that with some cheese. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah. You throw that and you put a little bit of cinnamon and sugar on that thing and then you roll it up. Woo! So good.

Now you're cooking. I am a bit of a sucker for... I got a soft spot. A soft spot for, like, just things that are buttered. Me too. Like, just buttered noodles. Buttered noodles! Yes things that are buttered like just buttered noodles buttered noodles buttered noodles buttered noodles

probably like once or twice a week it's baby food it's when you go from a baby to a child and they just go me want real food or like a piece of sourdough and butter. Oh, it's the best.

I'm going to snack on that. I'm going to snack on anything buttered. Buttered noodles, they glisten. Yeah. They're so good. It's good.

So what do we say about Lachlan's cousin? Lachlan's family's fucked up. What do you say about melted ice cream and then also his aunt with condensed milk

sandwiches? Melted ice cream, definitely weird. Condensed milk might be worse. Yeah. his aunt with condensed milk sandwiches. Melted ice cream, definitely weird. Condensed milk might be worse. Yeah. I think the condensed milk sandwiches work. Might be better.

It seems like more like a hell puzzle. Let's all go try and have our teeth fall out. You bring the crack. You bring the crack. Can we make meth? I think that's how you do it.

You put some condensed milk on some bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I think it's right there. It turns into a blue crystal. Oh man. That's the ruling.

Fucking make them stop. We are the ones who knock. Yep. Oh man. You're goddamn right. That'll do it for food court. Forever. Stop making these jokes.

We really laid it in on that food court. I like that one. That was a good one. You know, when there's no tomorrow, you just kind of... You know, tomorrow comes today. Stop! You can email...

No! Yeah, get it. Facejamppod at roosterteeth.com if you want to send in your food submissions. Will there be another email address later? Maybe. You know, keep us in mind. But that'll do it for...

It'll be michaeljordan.nba. Dot nba. Dot at chicagobulls.com. Oh, man. All right. Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Oh, it's me again.

Yeah. Oh, I'm not sticky this time. Nuh-uh. You're good. Greasy. Not Gracie. No. Or crazy. Or crazy, bro. wrap it up wrap it up oh it's me again yeah oh I'm not sticky this time nah you're good greasy not Gracie no or crazy

or crazy check this out yeah outro thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly don't forget to listen to a new episode

of Face Gym next week that's right next week question mark tell a friend about this show where we used to do

whatever we want goodbye Mark, tell a friend about this show where we used to do whatever we want. Goodbye.