100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 3

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

Order in the court, the Food Court. Our Honorable Heroes are settling cases and following up on old dockets. We receive clarification on settlements and go over some new cases, plus a custody ruling. Face Jam's Truck'd Up just finished. Go binge watch it all with a free trial of FIRST on Rooster Teeth. Sponsored by Kato's Koffee http://katoskoffee.com and use code FaceJam20 and Factor http://go.factor75.com/facejam60 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Mila, our partner is the planet. Until June 30th, every Mila dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of Canadian forests through the Mila Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit mila.ca to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast welcome to spit and silly the fortnight podcast where anything can happen and it probably does i'm your host jordan sweers alongside my co-host michael jones michael are you feeling okay yeah

but you're don't lie you're not alongside me that's true we are once again only in the uh the general voice chat on Discord are we next to each other? Are we? Yeah, we are. I'm looking at it and Craig is next to Jordan and Jordan is above Michael. For me, Jordan's above me, Nick's below me, and Eric's

away from me. So this is great. Away? This is great. Well, you're not above or below me, so you're away. No, we're hanging out together. No, we're not. You're peeking through the window looking for scraps. Hey, f*** you. Well, what show is this? Nick was so impressed.

So I'm a little sick too. So we're recording remote. And I just said, man, this is actually more convenient because not only am I not getting you sick, but now I can mute myself when I'm coughing or sneezing. So I feel like I should get half of Nick's pay. Well, I think Kelly should get the other half

of Nick's pay. Right. I agree. I like hearing the sniffles in the coffees, though. I agree. Oh, we do? Yeah. Because I can let her rip. I think the listeners would enjoy that. Here's what I'll do. Guys, here's what I'll do. Listen to me. Listen to me. Here's what I'll do. Guys, here's what I'll do. Listen to me. Listen to me.

Here's what I'll do. When I'm sniffing and coughing, I'll mute Discord, not my recording. I don't think that helps Nick at all. Oh, perfect. No, it helps you guys. It helps you and Jordan. Oh, I'm fine with that.

You won't hear it. The audience and Nick or Kelly will. Yeah. Hang on. I'm going to do a test one real quick. Ready? Nick got up and walked away. There you go.

That was just for you, jammers. Nick left. Just know. Well, here, that's a little redundant. Just know Eric and Jordan didn't hear that. But then as I was saying, you're welcome, I heard someone else sniff. I think it was Eric. Oh, dude, he's doing.

I definitely didn't hear it. He's doing guns. It worked. it was Eric. Oh, dude, he's doing... I definitely didn't hear it. He's doing guns. It worked. Having a Discord thing

that just says Nick's name and he's doing the monkey gun thing, pretty cool. Pretty cool. Yeah. Hey, gun this. Yeah.

Anyway, what are we doing? You know what? This is sounding pretty silly. Yeah, I like it. But that's how big silly is, right? We got like half an idea, so let's do it i don't even know if it's even half yeah i'm kind of with you i think we're done i think we're down to a quarter

of an idea for this yeah but yeah because we were originally that we still have the story that michael was going to tell however i just feel sick i'm not look i couldn't i can phone in this i can't phone in the story don't't get me wrong. I got no problem phoning in Face Jam or spitting silly. I do it most times even when I'm not sick. So that's no issue. What I can't do is phone in this gem of a story. Okay, so we have to save the story

so we can hear the story. It's real Mountain Monsters vibes. You know, I need about 30-40 minutes of runway to spit and salivate everywhere. That's pretty interesting. I like that. Well, glad we're doing it remote, but not that one. I gotta see to spit and salivate everywhere. That's pretty interesting. I like that. Well, glad we're doing it remote, but not that one. I gotta see the spit and salivate. Exactly. I gotta be in the splash zone for that one.

We could get those, we got those leftover COVID shields, right? Yeah. So what we kind of figured we'd do is we could get into a little bit of food court. Dude, there's so many. We do have a lot.

I complain about this on multiple podcasts, you fuckers. Because we have so many. For a show that's like Spittin' Sillies every other week, and food court isn't every episode, so it's like, what do we do this? Once every two months, maybe? It's basically, yeah, if you're lucky, you get

one a month. So far, I don't think you get one a month. Dude. And so far, I don't think you've been that lucky. No, nobody's that lucky. It's like a blue moon. I'm not going to exaggerate and say we have like a thousand, but we get five plus every single day. We're in the triple digits.

We are in the triple digits. So the fact that how little we do the show, we have so many. Don't stop sending them because it will dry up and thankfully emails are forever yep you know to hillary and hunter's chagrin but to face jam's advantage we can we can hammer you three years from now you don't listen anymore and we'll get you these emails on the same server yeah yeah that's and that's why we have them we can see your emails and hillary's and we're just not sharing and we can get you. These emails on the same server. Yeah. And that's why we have them. We can see your emails and Hillary's

and we're just not sharing. And we can see all the Hunter stuff too. We're not sharing that either. I'm not sharing either. I know how much you want to look at it. I know how much you want to fucking see it. You just want to look at it. Do you know why?

Do you know why I won't even share it? It's not even like I don't want to see him go down. It's just like they're really cool. He's got some cool stuff on there. He's got some cool stuff going on. Guy likes to party. Hey, man.

Hey, Face Jam's fan of party animals. Hey, bro. It's the weekend and he's not his dad. What do I care? Hey, when you're right, you're right. And that's classic. That's why we're all about it. So let's get into a little bit of food court.

Court's in session. Nick, go ahead and hit the gavel. Excellent. It's a very casual food court. Just like we talked about yesterday. Except that, I'll be honest, I know he's home. It sounded like a kitchen table. It did sound like he had some dinnerware on there.

Yeah, that's exactly what it sounded like. Oh, do you have utensils on your work desk, Nick? He's holding up. He's got his fork. He's got his fork. Get fucked. I got the spoon. I got the spoon. You can't see me, but I got the spoon and a golden switch fork.

Wow! Mine are downstairs on display. Mine are thrown in a corner. The reverence. Hey, let's start with a little bit of a follow-up okay oh we love a follow-up we got into max k's case i think a while ago which was about dipping grilled cheese into applesauce oh sure um yeah he talks about it adding flavor to grilled cheese uh his friends all think he's insane. Max has written back, good morning slash afternoon. I would like to start by saying

thank you for taking on my cases. You're welcome. I, the applesauce grilled cheese weirdo, would like to start by accepting my judgment of weird. This is a judgment from the highest food court in the land, and I, a loyal jammer, have been found as weird. That's pretty good i was too confrontational and blatantly wrong in my original email i love this groveling yeah i i do like that and that's why i'm gonna give him a little bit more rope to hang himself

we'll get you everywhere yeah here's the next line in In this monologue, I will elaborate on the why and how, which I should have done in the original email. Excellent. I was young when this mixture was introduced to me by my mom, and I still enjoy the applesauce grilled cheese mix to this day, hence the original email. It brings me back to childhood days about not worrying about taxes. I feel it's a simple twist. He's defending himself after, after accepting his judgment. Yeah.

No, no, I know, but we did, we did kind of, um, ask for a little more background information. Jordan,

it incredible that you remember what we said, because I barely remember Mac and cheese or sorry, grilled cheese and applesauce. I don't even know it's grilled cheese. I'm thinking it's macaroni and cheese. So the fact that you remember anything we said is impressive. He says, Max K goes on to say, I feel it's a simple twist on the classic that is a grilled cheese sandwich.

As you discussed in the episode, apple pie with cheese. Apple soda. The apple soda. Apple pie with cheese does exist. This is indeed the simplest version of it. does exist this is indeed the simplest version of it the chill of the applesauce and the heat of the grilled cheese has a contradictory effect on the mouth oh my god that is not unpleasant i have only ever done this wow with a craft singles grilled cheese oh my god the worst it's the worst kind he's eating the worst kind of grilled cheese.

What the hell is wrong with you? Max K is insane. Craft singles shouldn't exist. Go buy real cheese. It is not real cheese. Bro, I mean, go buy real processed cheese.

I'm not even talking about farm fresh. That shit is rubber. Look at it yeah that's insane to me as as someone who grew up uh buying meat and cheese from a delicatessen craft has always been just insane when i see people take cheese out of a plastic wrapper i lose my shit just buy a pound of cheese just get store brand for fuck's sake it is an affront it's not like unless you're living like far away from any sort of dairy land right if you're like what's the antipode of wisconsin if you're in the arctic great but like oh my god there's so many

goddamn good cheeses and you're eating crab Singles. You're talking about flavor. You're talking about flavor about how good this is and then at the very end of your second letter you go, by the way, it's Kraft Single. What? To be honest, there's a lot to unpack and blame your mother for.

Here's the thing. This is why I wanted to bring this up. The Kraft Singles thing is very funny to me because he's like, these flavors, they're so fantastic. It's Kraft Singles. Also, the whole time before this, he's dragging his mom under the bus

and letting it just run her over. He's just going, I'm absolved of all responsibility here. This is 100% my mom who did this to me. I mean, he's not wrong. This was nurture. He's not wrong. And at least i think he understands it's too late to break the cycle yes yeah so and that's just like thanks mom yeah all they can do at this point is not spread it to

the next generation that's right great maybe that's like they're doing a very bad job of that yeah maybe that's the ruling here is that he's not allowed to show this to his kids when he has kids he it has to die with him the ruling number one is please go buy some real cheese that's true i think like you won't need to dip it in apple sauce if you're just eating good i think that might be it i think that a good grilled cheese will you think you think putting apple sauce with your grilled cheese is a revelation? Try grilled cheese. Actually try grilled cheese.

I don't even want to ask what kind of bread they're using. Oh, no. I also use two rice cakes. Yeah, seriously. Put a Kraft Singles in between two rice cakes. It takes 45 minutes to grill. It's like a fucking roll for sandwich. Yeah.

You've got one for everything everything this is the most insane you know that it's like some motz applesauce and like little individual oh man you know it is because there's only three kinds of applesauce yep yep nobody eats it because it's food for babies babies eat it it's baby doing craft singles he's definitely doing motz you know applesauce is the same thing as puree baby food. It's just no one told adults to stop eating it. It's just baby food in a jar. Applesauce is right next

to all the other shit you don't eat as an adult. You don't eat little jars of puree peas. Why are you eating applesauce? You start with it as a baby, and then you end with it as an old person with no teeth. And that's fine. Avoid the middle. But in the middle, you need it. It's a long middle.

Most people don't get to the end. So Max K. There's a lot of human interest in the contradictory flavors and temperatures that Max was talking about. But really, I was about to relate and empathize with him,

and then the Kraft single dropped. Yeah, you know, here's the other problem. You just can't. Here's the other problem. I can't allow it. Okay, I'm willing to listen. However, that argument could be made for anything ever. You know what I mean?

Like, oh, I just eat this, I eat a piece of leather and a paint strip Because that's what I did when I was a kid And, you know, it brings me good memories Let me tell you this Future food court submissions I understand we talk about it on Face Jam Okay?

I don't give a shit how it makes you feel Okay? We're going to rate the food on the food But you saying, hey, look, this is weird shit But I ate it when I'm a kid So it reminds me of my child We're not going to get that If eat that i'm not gonna get any of that shit nope so don't tell me about it you are not a kid anymore i don't give a shit we need to understand why you keep doing it what do you find unless you can make me and i'll say i'll say this max did explain it

in a fair way but but craft singles look insane unless max makes me him as a kid him telling me he loved it as a kid means nothing to me that's that's just like after you murdered someone but then it's like the with sentencing and you're like hey you look i murder them but hear me out and then at the end you go great so life in prison i don't give a fuck max if you're looking to escape the burdens of adulthood and taxes you're gonna love cheese here's here's here's what i'm gonna say it's true just pray you're not lactose intolerant even if you are you can fix it just keep eating it here's what i'm gonna say i won't i won't issue a judgment that you're not allowed to pass this on because as

much as I want to, I feel like you're entitled to that, but you have come to us. So what I will say is I feel like our ruling should be, you may continue down this insane path if you choose. However, you must, along with the information of this recipe, you must also pass along our judgment.

Yes. Let your kid know, hey, I make this thing you try it. But just so you know, I asked the experts. They rated me fucking weird. They said I should stop doing it. You got to give them all that up front before they accept it. Because after that, they're indoctrinated. You got to give them a chance up front.

You need to have the opposite perspective available as well. As long as you're willing to do that I think that's my judgment. Buy some real cheese. Buy some real fucking cheese. Like anything. Land O'Lakes.

Whatever. Doesn't matter. Just something. And get it from the deli because you know it's way cheaper than pre-packaged. It's like the same price or cheaper for twice the amount. You get a pound for less than the price of eight ounces packaged.

And that's just a value. And then you just have a pound of cheese? You just have a pound of cheese. Imagine how many grilled cheeses you can make. At least two if you make them like I do. By the way, the antipode of Wisconsin is the Southern Indian Ocean. Oh, okay. Can't get any cheese there.

It's pretty good. Yep, no cheese there. So if you send a letter from the Southern Indian Ocean, you can have Kraft Singles. That's it. And there you have it. Good ruling from our judges. I also like that we talked about how little we can get through these

and we picked the guy we already did. Yep. Don't get me wrong. It was a great second letter. It was. And it kind of is what we're looking for for letters going forward as far as explanations.

Well, I like the first half, not the second half. More information. Yeah. Well, hey, if you're going to volunteer information like that, be prepared to get hammered. Yes. Okay, let's move on to our next case.

This is from Kaylee C. Hi, Face Jam. I don't know when or how it started, but my sister Sarah has been drinking orange juice whenever she eats homemade chili. It is no pulp orange juice in case this information is crucial

to your decision-making process. It sounds like a recipe for heartburn to me. I was gonna say that. Uh-huh, and I can't wrap my head around it. While she genuinely enjoys it, she also thinks it's funny that it drives me nuts so she has never given me a straight answer regarding her reasoning for this combo please help us decide is this normal or not so we can put this behind us thanks besties signed kaylee oh man see unfortunately we find ourselves in this situation again where

you know we're ruling on what is normal and what isn't when really the real information that we want is is being withheld vindictively by the sister because this is what siblings do by the sister this is what siblings do that correctly oh this bothers you get ready for it every moment of your life let me let tell you. Let me tell you this. This is great because it bothers you so much. You've now involved us. Yes. Which is excellent. And even if your sister doesn't expect us to be able to do.

You should tell her. Great job. Yeah. I mean, to you, I say, I don't have a ruling here, but I will say, yes, it's weird. To her, I say, fantastic work. Yes, this is great sibling work a hundred percent i bet she doesn't even fucking like orange juice i was gonna say that too like i can probably discuss a little bit at this point uh-huh now unpack it please do they

does he specify in any way i mean i guess that's the letter of like what does it mean or like just that's the drink of choice with the foods they're not mixing them together it's not a weird like i put both in my mouth at the same time it's like the washing down the chinese food with the milk it's washing down the chili with the orange juice which is saying them right after each other i guess my question is does she drink orange juice with everything and you're pointing out the chili because yes it's weird but also it's less weird if she's just always drinking orange juice like if that's just her juice of choice it's a bizarre combo but i think that might be the only reason why it's weird right

if you're drinking orange juice with everything the only reason it's being brought up is because it's specifically with chili i feel like. Yes, I agree with that. Otherwise, oh, that's just my sister. She drinks orange juice with everything. But again, it could be like maybe she drinks it with everything and the chili's just to piss them off. Again, I feel like there's not enough information here. I'm with Eric outright.

I think it's weird. If someone said, yo, I want chili and orange juice, I think that's weird. Yes. If you have chili and nothing else to drink and you like orange juice. I think that's weird. If you have chili and nothing else to drink and you like orange juice, I also wouldn't be like, impossible! Drink nothing! To me,

that really comes down to the person in orange juice because when you said it sounds like heartburn, bro, orange juice sounds like heartburn. Take the chili out. Orange juice is acid. You're just drinking acid. Orange juice is the worst thing ever. It's like, oh, I'll have some orange juice is acid you're just drinking acid okay orange juice is the worst thing ever it's like oh i'll have some orange juice oh my god i'm sick i i just found out i'm sick because my throat's on fire i drank orange juice so like to me i can't drink orange juice

for an hour after i brush my teeth because it's disgusting it's absolutely disgusting that's the worst combination maybe Maybe she's just like an orange juice freak and she eats it with everything. If it's only with the chili, that's a definite extra level of freak. My judgment is if it's specifically orange and chili, that's fucking insane.

Still weird, but less weird if she's drinking it all the time. Yeah, I agree entirely. Okay. I think milk and chili is fucking weird too. But I don't know. What's the right drink with chili? Soda? Water?

Coffee? I don't fucking know. It's chili. I'm going to drink anything I want to drink. I can tell you what the wrong one is and it feels like it's orange juice. I'll give you that. Yep. It feels wrong, but I will say I don't feel like there's a right answer.

Yeah, I agree with that. There is a wrong answer. I mean, chili is just a weird food to be eating. It's a weird food liquid to begin with. Yes. It's a lumpy food liquid. It is. It's like what's the thickest soup you could possibly have, and it's chili.

I think you need to pair it with a nice red wine. Oh, there you go. I was thinking a Coors Light. Yeah, definitely a cheap beer or like a red wine. I'm thinking a Coors Light, some orange juice and chili. I'm going to drink the Coors Light

but I'm just going to pour the orange juice into the chili. There you go. And I'm going to chase it with a Kraft Single. Yep. Oh, gross. Roll it up. Yeah,'m going to chase it with a Kraft single. Yep. Gross. Roll it up. Yep. Yeah, like a cheese roll-up from Taco Bell.

Even they use goddamn shredded cheese. They do. Like, Taco Bell uses better cheese. Right, again, think of, like, the joke that is Taco Bell, and you buy a worse cheese than that. I'm sorry, I'm going to go back to Max, obviously. Yeah, yeah, tough. Tough. Okay, well, tough, tough.

OK, well, Kaylee, we do say this is weird, but we also say that your sister kind of rules. So good job, Sarah, for making Kaylee all fucking freaked out about orange juice and chili. Yeah, if I don't know

if Sarah listens to this podcast, but when she finds out about the lengths to which her sister she's driven her sister crazy, she's going to be very pleased. Yeah. Oh, Sarah's going to be thrilled about this. Definitely play this for Sarah or have Sarah listen to it on

her phone and then subscribe and then buy a t-shirt. That also works. Let's go to our next case. You want her to do all that? Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Oh, and buy the track suit you can't buy. Oh, yeah. You can't buy that yet. I lost my jacket already. What? That's around here somewhere.

I got kids. It's in the car. It's not in the car. My car is spotless. I just told you that, Jordan. Maybe you vacuumed it up then. Oh, my God. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Dude, those vacuums at the car wash are strong. Yep. I think it'd suck a whole jacket up. It could suck up a whole jacket. Fuck it. I'd be careful wearing it. It might suck you up. I think it could. I don't jacket good i'd be careful wearing it might suck you up

i think i think it could i don't know if i would fit maybe eric yeah oh yeah maybe if they took you like not it'd be the shoulders if they could get your shoulders down you're done for yeah i could i'll fit inside a vacuum it's like when cell's trying to suck up one of the androids it's like oh i just need to get it just shoulders. It's when his little tail dick gets big and the inside of the penis all of a sudden. It makes that weird noise and as he sucks them into his urethra.

I'm definitely, I'm trying to figure out which android I am. I think I'm android 18. You think? I think you wish you were. I think you're android 19. I think he's more like a Krill were. Do you really? I think you're Android 19. What? I think he's more like a Krillin.

What the fuck? Here's the thing. Fighting-wise, insult. Look-wise, compliment. It's true. Yamcha is the dream boy. Also, let's not forget how DBZ ruined him. That guy was a famous baseball player.

He was. It's true. He was. It's true. For nothing. He threw it all away to not put a ring on it. He threw it away to be a background character at the best of times. He lost to the bad boy.

He's hanging out with Chiaotzu and Tien. Dead in hell. The three of them are always dying and blowing up. Sometimes blowing themselves up. Hey, I'll take him out. Blows myself up. Doesn't take him out.

Does anyone in DDG who blows himself up ever take someone out? Because it happens like six times. It happens a lot. Vegeta blew himself up. It never works. Vegeta blows himself up. It never works. Vegeta blows himself up against Boo. Does nothing.

Actually, you know what? It was one time. Cell blew up Goku. That's the only time it worked. Goku did stay dead for a while. But he stayed dead because they tried to bring him back and he said, nah. No. Hey, when I come back, bad guys

show up. So I'm going to do the right thing and not come back to life and his family went what uh hello and then also bad guys showed up again his son who was yet to be born went what what you have an unborn child and you are i'm sorry you're choosing to stay dead i'm what honey it's for you i was watching all the uh mega 64 like dvz in five minute like wrap-up things if you want to see the whole show at the exact same integrity you can just watch that yeah watch like i love those are trail as of goku as deadbeat dad who is just coming in and sort of fucking things up a little bit. And Piccolo is like the real dad? Yep. Oh, it's so good.

Piccolo's like stern dad, but dad. But dad's not even fun dad. He's straight up like absent dad. This has turned into food court, family court. That's fine. And here's my judgment. Fuck off. Terrible father. I'm giving

Piccolo full custody. Custody of Gohan. Chi-Chi, terrible mother. Your kids are being taken away and reassigned to Piccolo. He is now their guardian. Yep. Yep. Enjoy. He even buys them clothes like him. It's true.

I'm going to dress you just like me with magic. This is how people know you're my son now. Hang on. Let me do first episode Chris Sabat Piccolo. That one really changed over the years. I like the original guy who played Vegeta where he was like,

I'm a little radish man. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he was like, I'm a little radish man. Oh yeah, that's right. He was like, he was a snake. He was almost star-screamy. He was. That's a good way to put it. He was also way shorter and had red hair. Yeah, he did have red hair

in one episode. Totally a different look. And totally small compared to Nappa. Anyway. Oh, yeah. What are we doing? We should get into another ruling. No, that was the ruling.

You're losing your kids, Goku and Shinji. They're going to Piccolo. Next case. Okay, this is from Riley. But the food looked good. Oh, the food looked great. Oh, yeah. Oh, nothing wrong with that.

100%. And the way Goku eats it. Mm-hmm. This is from Riley E. Oh, nothing wrong with that. 100%. And the way Goku eats it. Mm-hmm. This is from Riley E. Hello, Bug Kings. I grew up eating this food, yet I can't convince any of my friends, enemies, or anyone in between to try what I consider a great snack. There are two variations of this snack based on how much effort you want to put in.

Are you ready? This is the snack. Ready. All right. Where it starts is simple cheddar cheese with creamy peanut butter. Simple, elegant, creamy, delicious. I wouldn't call it elegant, but all right. Right.

I mean. If you want to add some extra crunch, a slice of red bell pepper gives it that crunch and a slice sweetness. Okay. I would think they would go crunchy peanut butter, but weird. You're talking about peanut butter. If you want a crunch. Now, here's the thing jordan you said what's next that's it that's the snack wait is that is that and maybe

a pepper hang on is that the fast one or the short one that is the fast one is simple cheddar cheese and creamy peanut butter and then the other one is more effort because it's one slice of red bell pepper. Oh, so the red bell pepper is the enhancement. Okay. I'm sorry. What is the question here? What is it on? Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you think it was on? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You are mistaken. You thought it was on something. No, no, no, no. How do you eat it? I don't understand. I think it's get a spoonful of peanut butter and then put cheddar was on something. No, no, no, no. How do you eat it? I don't understand.

I think it's get a spoonful of peanut butter and then put cheddar cheese on it. And then if you want to put more effort into it. Wait, I think you're putting the peanut butter on the cheese. How are you putting peanut butter on shredded cheese, Jordan? How are you doing that? What are you spreading it? Oh, it's shredded? Yes.

I thought it was a slice. Well, no, it's simple cheddar cheese. I guess you could do it by the slice i i read it as shredded but like that's also read it as shredded yeah but that's the way that's the way it reads to me is that this is shredded cheese that you're sprinkling on a spoonful of peanut butter i have no idea how they're even eating this now you've given too little information i didn't. Even shredded or not, is there bread? What's it going on? You put it in your zero gravity well

and it kind of just floats there and you kind of just go for it. I don't think shredded or sliced is acceptable either way. You still need something. Okay, but what about... Right, but you're saying, what can I put it on?

Well, Michael, you can simply put it on a slice of red bell pepper. Right see even red bell pepper you can put peanut butter on right i'm just thinking of the physical act you take a piece of cheese uh-huh you get peanut butter you start spreading it the cheese rips to shreds sure yeah i mean that's it that's you can't spread peanut butter on a single slice of cheese that I guess you're putting just on a plate or on a counter. There's no plate involved here. It's on the counter and you're just

making a mess and licking it up. You put the cheese in your left hand and you put the peanut butter in your right hand and then you put your hands together and then you take them apart and wherever you stand the food, you eat out of that hand. You make it in your mouth. You just put the cheese in your mouth and then the peanut butter.

Jordan, if they said that, it would make more sense, but they didn't. I feel like they're not doing that. This reads to me as food you eat in your underwear at 1 a.m. over the sink. But even that, I still don't know how you eat it.

I have no idea. It needs another ingredient. There's i don't know it's a it's an it needs another ingredient there's no there's no glue to hold it together i don't understand what you're putting it on is is that the end of the letter is like like you know how people eat shredded cheese sometimes like animals there's an animal move like tony sabrano you stand in front of the refrigerator and you just eat it out of the bag and you put it in your mouth i can get that because you're just grabbing it what i can't get is doing that and also peanut butter. How the fuck do you do that?

Yeah. The rest of the letter, there's not much, but it's just, it's him qualifying all of it. Now I did get this snack from my mother. Oh no. It's always the mother, huh? Who is for sure some sort of crazy, but why won't anyone try it? Despite the source where I obtained this snack, it, it? Despite the source where I obtained this snack,

it, what? Despite the source where I obtained this snack, it is delicious. I don't know what that has to do with anything. Despite his mother, who's crazy. Despite my crazy mother.

He says, yet I can't, I can't convince anyone to try it. I hope this is broadcast to the spice rats and spice mouses. Mice would be the word of the world. I like spice mouses. Oh, okay. And hopefully shine a new light spice mouses. Oh, okay.

And hopefully shine a new light on the delicious new snack or at least a few of them try it. Would you try it? Why do you think people won't give it a shot? Well, I think people won't give it a shot because you're a fucking insane person. I think my number one thing is how the fuck do I eat it? Yeah. How do I eat it without shoving a hand into cheese and a hand into peanut butter? Because I'm not going to do that. You may know how much I fucking hate

being messy or sticky and you're just going, just eat it. And I'm like, with a fork, with a spoon, tell me how to prepare it. Yeah. And maybe I'll try it.

I'm not even stressed about the food. It's what you've said that's infuriated me, sir. How am I eating it? I feel like even if he's going to explain now because he'll reply or whatever we will see the way he explains it and it will not it will help us understand the way to eat it but will in no way improve the food or have it make any sense but but i just need to know regardless i'm not interested in trying this i tell you you this. I'll go off book

into an appeals court. I will try it. Okay. Okay. We'll see if we can take it to an appeals court. But if Jordan doesn't try it, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I can take it to appeals and I can try it. Yeah. But if it's just me and not Jordan, can't rate it. That's true. That is true. I can try it and I'll go, wow.

Now I have an opinion. And you'll never know because we need to be balanced well i'll tell you one thing i need a balance and check system nothing about it sounds interesting enough to try it sounds just weird for the sake of being weird yeah peanut butter and cheese uh without a base of any kind is bizarre uh And then also, throw in a pepper. Of all the things that could have been said there. To me, again, it just sounds like a thing like, feel like you could do that with anything.

Yep. You know what I mean? Like, or, I don't know, throw in a pepper. Hey, how's that burger? You want to throw a pepper on it? Yeah, get a little pepper going. It doesn't seem like it's the selling point. And then the pepper ties everything together it's like i don't know i

guess you could eat that uh well there you have it that's um that's our final yeah i mean my my verdict there is weird um at least it's not craft i don't think it's craft yeah and uh but i'm curious on how you consume it yeah how do you build it or more questions are you just bowling this shit and grabbing it with your grubby little mitts i don't know it's not good over the sink um jordan ruling i mean definitely definitely weird you should just stop trying to convince people to eat this because it's it's not gonna work out for you i don't understand the thing also be kinder to your mother. Yeah. Yeah.

Just be kind in general. Because we won't. So you got to make up for it. You know what I mean? You have to be twice as kind. You got to be twice as kind because you don't get sent stupid shit like this and then you have to hammer. We do. We take that burden off of you.

We hammer you so someone else doesn't have to. And you get to live a happy prosperous life okay or at least whatever it is you do fist and cheese or whatever the other thing i'll just say really quick though and what threw me off as you talked about it's peanut butter and cheese that's it you want to crunch throw a pepper i thought they were gonna say you want to crunch use crunchy peanut butter oh me too 100 blew me away yeah did you think of that one by the way maybe that's a tip for you let me throw that back to you. Oh, my God. Wow. You're improving his life.

Well, that'll do it. That's food court. We did it. That's even more rulings on this free food. Not even scratch the surface. No. We still have more emails in that time. And we worked in a custody case in the middle of it.

Yeah, we did. Yes, we did. Really. Really something. Good job. Well, the kids need a home. Yep. Yep.

It's important. It's important. It's important. But that'll do it. Michael, do you want to hit us with the outro? We can wrap this thing up. I could. Okay. Well, you can email facejampod at roosterteeth.com with your own food conundrums.

And then Michael will say goodbye. Yeah. Thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly. Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week. We're going to record it right after this. Yes, we are. That's right, next week. Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want.

And tell them that they can submit their own questions. But watch out, we might hammer them. You open, look, it's a two-way street. Actually, it's more like, it's more like a one-way street that once you enter, it's kind of like a Zelda boss

where the gate locks behind you, and you're now going to get hammered. You do the thing where you look back and you're like, uh-oh. But you can't say, you trapped me because you chose to walk in. You knew. You had the boss key. You knew there was a boss fight, and it was going to lock behind you. So now you've

set yourself up for a hammering, and it's not two ways. But unlike Zelda, you're going to lose. Yep. Alright, hit him with two ways, but unlike Zelda, you're gonna lose. Yep. Alright, hit him with the gavel. Oh yeah, gavel, Nick. Jesus Christ, that was even worse. He's eating. He's been eating the whole time, by the way. We didn't talk about this.

We can see Eric and Nick. Nick has just been getting up, randomly leaving, and coming back with food and eating this whole time. Uh-huh. Alright, let's go get the goddamn food.