100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 4

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

Order in the court, the Face Jam Food Court. Our Heroes and Judges are back to settle some interesting cases including drinking too much milk, dipping crusts in soda, mac & cheese vs bows and cheese. Please rise and be seated as court is now in session. This episode is sponsored by Hello Fresh http://hellofresh.com/facejam65 and use code facejam65 and Honey http://joinhoney.com/facejam. Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does. I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, alongside my co-host and partner of justice, Michael Jones. Michael, how are you? We are in the food court this week. I am in session. I just got done tightening my robe. Oh, did you get it taped in? Did you have it tailored? Yes. Yeah.

My robe is slim fit. Yeah. But it's also boot cut. I kept saying make it skinny. I want a modern fit. I said I want it to fit, but I want room to grow. We are just like that guy in Andor.

We are super into justice. And we will tailor our uniforms to get it. Are you implying something is going to take place on today, Spittin' Silly? The cases, yeah. Oh, okay. The implication was cases. I don't know where the justice was being oh just oh okay guys i'm just not like star wars okay i want to point out and also we're not like that character in any way

shape or form yeah i do want to point out that when we do face jam the other show uh michael gives it time to breathe for like the intro and then when we do this it the intro plays for one second and jordan goes well we're spitting silly it's like okay we got half an hour let's fucking go it's true there's we don't got time to mess around we don't have any time to mess around and that's except for right now let's mess around oh that's right i mean we have 30 minutes to mess around oh my god now all of a sudden we have all the time in the world because the intro's out of the way i mean messing around is the 30 minute show that's true it's true it's's true. It's called Spittin' Silly. Not, you know. Yeah, in some cases,

this show has become a show within a show. Uh-huh. In some cases. In most cases. I'm starting to wonder if this show needs to be its own show.

But at that point. You're talking about the food court. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You gotta say your thoughts. They don't know. Yeah, but this show.

I think you got about half of them. You're good. Is the show in another show. Yeah. And Spitt Yeah, but this show is a show in another show. Yeah. And the off-wings of the other show. is already a show

based on a segment from another show. And now you want to make a show based on a segment in a show that was based off a segment. That's why it's becoming a problem.

No. Yeah. But I don't know where we go from here. All the weeks are taken up. As long as Nick still gets to eat. Yeah, then he's fine.

You guys want to get into some food court cases? Bring us some food court cases. I don't know if we've done this before, but we've done it enough now. I guess when we say, hey, what's up, assholes? Let's get into food court. Maybe we should give like a 10-second blurb. Because some people might not care to listen to the beginning. That's actually the beginning.

Hello, welcome. I don't know me. Welcome to Face Jam's Food Court, where your honorable judges and heroes, Michael and Jordan, will rule on your food cases, along with court stenographer, Eric and bailiff sauce monkey, Nick.

And now it's time to get into the food court. And then you bang a gavel. That's a great blurb. It was great. Yeah, make sure you listen back to that. Type it out. You're the bang a gavel. That's a great blurb. It was great. Yeah. Make sure you listen back to that. Type it out. You're the sonographer. Yeah. Hopefully you already typed it out. Yeah.

We'll just use all that. Every time we do this. Leave in the ums and uhs because it makes it sound more authentic. It sounds, yeah, it's good. Maybe add these people emailed facejampod at roosterteeth.com to get their cases heard. Oh! Okay okay and you say

you know if you want to hammer someone with justice but be careful if you want to gavel someone because the one who's getting hammered might be you it's true that has happened many times now you are can you believe these people think I'm nuts

and we go you're fucking crazy yeah big time let's get into it gavel is pretty good uh this is from daniel sound effect made for you okay honorable judges and dishonorable bailiff whoa no such thing dishonorable please hear my case much to the chagrin of my wife, I started drinking a full quart of whole milk every morning on my commute to work. Whoa. Except Friday. On Friday, I drink chocolate milk to feel more refined. Why would you do that?

This lasted about a month and a half. My wife staged an intervention. I was told whole milk was for babies. I was told I would have terrible poopies. I mean, it sounds like you're the baby here if you wrote that. And maybe I was spending all our mortgage money. Fine, I stopped. And you know what?

They were right. It was a weird thing to do. Gone? Gone? Can only imagine where it's about to go. No, I just think that's so funny. He's just like, and I'm not insane. And then they said I was insane and I agree.

But some people smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Others are alcoholics. Real freaks listen to podcasts in their spare time. And all that makes people interesting. I just wanted something else. What are you going on about? I just wanted something close to a personality and everyone closest to me stripped away

after waging a campaign to keep me as bland as possible. So, Your Honor. Jesus Christ. My question is... I'm actually persecuted. Although drinking a quarter gallon of milk every day on a whim is certainly weird, was my family justified in making me stop?

Yes. And if you roll in my favor, would you be willing to attribute my divorce? That would certainly follow yes and no yeah no you don't you don't need to finish eric is unable to compose himself uh what you've done here is you've wasted the court's time sir no hey you let me finish let me finish all right we have a lot of cases to go through. We have a lot of people that are trying to save relationships.

It's regrettable that yours is already ended. We don't have a time machine. Please, sir, let us rule on people we might still be able to save. It sounds like you already have your answer.

Let me say something. Part of our job here is to is to read between the lines right and find the underlying issue and to me what is what is this jammer's name his name is daniel m daniel m's real problem is he doesn't think he's interesting enough uh yeah yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. He needs a thing. Here's the thing. He might be right, but if his quirk is to drink milk. Right. Because even that's still not interesting, Daniel. Right. That's what I was going to say.

He's starting a new job. What's a fun fact about you? I drink about a quarter gallon of milk every day on my drive here. Except for Friday. Yeah, that's when I do chocolate milk. And then it's just a room full of people going, and why do you do that? So I have an interesting fact to tell someone when they ask about me. What the fuck?

I've been planning for just such a day. Dan, you're fucking nuts, dude. Damn, Daniel. I mean, don't. Good luck with the divorce. Here's the thing. Don't drink that much milk. And then also don't make it your personality.

Good luck with the divorce. Here's the thing. Don't drink that much milk. And then also don't make it your personality. Look, a quart of milk in a week is too much milk, in my opinion. I'm not drinking that much milk. He has a wife. It happens.

For now. It happens. Sometimes people get lucky, man. I just think you swung for the fences on trying to to get an interesting i guess what i meant a better a better term would be milk in his car a better term would be you threw it a shot shot in the dark yeah yeah that's maybe a little bit better yeah why don't why don't we try to think of something interesting Daniel could do instead of drinking a ton of milk?

Jordan, I appreciate you trying to help Daniel, but this is already spiraled so wildly out of control. We got cases on the docket. We got people lined up and you're going, hang on, we need to come up

with a fun way to help Daniel. I just feel like he really needs a win. I mean, he does. He needs a win, but I don't know what he wants from a face jam food court.

The crazy thing is when you find out about Daniel, we're the sixth podcast. This guy's just taking a lifetime of losses and he's just like, let me email this podcast. Start drinking milk just so it'd be relevant to the show. Everything else stands. I think. So do you rule in favor of his family? I rule.

I mean, it seems like he rules in favor of his family? I rule in I mean it seems like he rules in favor of his family yes that's exactly so at that point I don't know what you're asking I think maybe you should send him to jail really all he did was regale us with a story that

one time I tried to drink milk and everyone said stop it's a story about he's like I tried and failed what do you think? well we sentence you to prison because this is insane and everyone said stop. It's a story about, he's like, I tried and failed. What do you think? Well, we sentence you to prison because this is insane.

That can be his interesting fact. Yeah. I went to prison. I got sent to prison by a food podcast. We sentence you to go to

prison, touch the outside of it, and you're done. Yeah, I sentence you to- You could say you went to prison. I think we should sentence him to a hobby

because this is insane. All right, let's go to to the next one but we won't tell him which one barnes and nobles figure it out okay read a book uh this is from tyler growing up i was put through something that i haven't quite processed uh-oh my mother taught me to dip my pizza crust into soda to soften it up and then consume it goodbye okay i was gonna say uh jordan's life jordan's life goodbye when he said i was put through something i was gonna i was gonna yell a colander yeah the ringer um nick loved it he goes on to say not only does this turn the so the crust into carbonated bread but then it hardly tastes like soda at all. Like all the flavors are at war

and nothing makes sense. I recently went home after not seeing my family for two years due to COVID. Lo and behold, the first day I'm home, I see my younger brother dipping his crust into Pepsi.

It blew my mind that she'd pass this down to my youngest sibling. I argued with my mother about this and she said she still loves me. Oh, she still loves it. Okay. Oh, she loves it.

Not them. My mother said it's you or the soda, and I picked the soda. Yeah. He goes on to say, I'm not asking if this is normal or not. I know it's not. It's fucking weird.

I'm asking, have you heard of this before and would you ever consider trying this i need to know if it originated with my family or if someone else has experienced it because maybe i'm the only one who can stop it thinking about bringing this up in therapy sign tyler stab okay oh god all right now now listen let's bring him on tyler whoever you are um now I don't know your mother but I feel like I've heard stories I feel like I've heard things and I feel like

I'm not surprised by this at all um he sent it to me with his work email address yeah well we it was funny because we were talking about this show did he open with like hey it's me Tyler Stab or did he he says hey it's me Stab I just skipped it

it would have been great if he didn't he waited till the end Jordan we also I think it was on another shitty show we were doing this show got brought up everyone started crying and cheering it was crazy just because we were talking about it. And Stab kept

saying, oh, I got one. I got one. This is not out of the blue. This is, oh, there it is. Buddy didn't tell me what it was. Well, yeah. I mean, it's insanity. Have you ever heard of it before? I've never heard of this before.

We have talked a lot about dipping food in other liquids and we still haven't done the dipping the chicken tender into the what was it? The frosty? The Dairy Queen Blizzard. Oh, the Blizzard. What I'm glad about.

I don't think we should do it. To see the face that went with the voice. Maybe if we edit this out, everyone will forget that we thought about doing it. The funny thing about it is, I didn't know that was Tyler as you read it. Yeah. And right before you said it was from Stab, I was going to say, what I appreciated about this letter is, even the people that send in yes the weird things and they go look i know this is weird but then three

sentences later they're like defending it with their life like no one ever truly commits to this thing is fucking weird they're very much they're the jammers of the well not me yeah i know you guys make fun of the weird people and some people say I'm weird. Obviously, you're going to know I'm not. Tyler, who at the time of you reading didn't know it was Tyler, was, I'm glad someone out there just knows, going to cut the shit. This is weird. I'm not asking you.

I'm telling you this is weird. Now, granted, it's because he's not doing it. Right. I was going to say that before you said it was Stab, and that makes me feel even better about Stab as a human. Yes. That I agreed with him as a mystery writer before it was revealed to me. He's a person I know.

The way that he describes it as not only does this turn the crust into carbonated bread. Yeah. That's the craziest fucking thing. That's nuts. It's just liquid liquid what is it into a liquid what what is it doing to your soda as well like the little crumbs what is the point of it so dumb what is the point of this process i've never been eating pizza crust i've been like if only it were softer if only some way i could soften this from my sensitive teeth. I wish the part I held was sticky.

I wish I could ruin this and my drink. That's wild. I also like that he says, have you ever experienced this? Because maybe I'm the only one that can stop it. See now, the second you said it was stab, I went, that makes sense. That's why he's building the Mandalorian

suit. He's gonna put it on. He's gonna put it on. He's gonna put it on and he's gonna say, no more crusted soda! Harmonated bread! Fly like the first Iron Man. He's gonna swoop up his little brother like Grogu. His little brother like baby Yoda!

the first Iron Man. He's gonna swoop up his little brother like Grogu. His little brother like baby Yoda. Oh man. Floating around in a little carriage. Oh fuck. Look, if you can you gotta, Tyler, you gotta break the cycle somehow. You gotta stop your brother from doing it. You gotta stop everyone from passing

it down. It has to die with your mother. When she dies. I'm not saying make it happen. You're not saying you should stop the process. You don't have to be the Mandalorian and do that. You can be the Mandalorian and just wait. Yeah. Mandalorian is patient.

What do you think he's doing in between seasons? Think about it. He's shooting Nick and pulling his brain. Yeah. This is the way. So what's, what's the ruling here? Do we send him to be the Mandalorian?

What happened? Um, I mean, the ruling is he's right. Yeah. I've never heard of it before. No, I think you should do what you can to stop this.

Yeah. It's definitely too late for your mother. I obviously never heard of it before. I think you should do what you can to stop this. It's definitely too late for your mother. There's no coming back for her. You just need to stop it from spreading. It's already spread. He's like a generation gap between him and his sibling.

It's already proven. That's a lot of work he's got. You know what I'm saying? It might already be too late. If he hoped to end it with him work he's got. You know what I'm saying? Like it's already. It might already be too late. If he hoped to end it with him, it's, he's already failed. Right.

You know what I mean? So he's got to, he now has to stop. The onus is on him. He needs to stop his, his mother and he needs to, he now he needs to untangle his brother. Yes.

Yeah. That's his sentence, to untangle his brother. He needs to unwire the soda from his pizza. It could be, it could be hard once. It's not too late yet. I know he's young. There's good in him. I can still sense it.

It's not too late. We can set him back on the right path where he just eats the pizza, then the crust. You can be normal on it. Some people just don't eat the crust. They just put it down. And then people like me, they go, I'll eat that. And then they eat the crust. But again, they don't dip it in anything the whole time.

No. You don't have to. Well, there you go. That's like an offshoot of ranch. I don't know. Yes. That's like his mom was going, ranch on pizza. That's crazy.

Soda? Yeah. Do you guys like Pepsi? Okay. Next food court case. This is from Ryan B. My lords. This is something. This is from Ryan B. My lords, this is something that has been hotly contested and discussed at length for years. And while a lot of people say they understand and even agree with what I'm saying,

no one seems to actually care. Even when they agree with the logic, they still seem to think i'm doing things wrong okay this is a great way to set up whatever your argument is all these people say that i'm right but also no one gives a fuck yeah i drink a quart of milk the thing is i don't like dipping hot foods into dipping sauces if i go to mcdonald's get the nuggets, I don't dip them in any sauce. Oh, that kind of hot food. If I make chicken tenders at home, no sauce. It doesn't matter what the food is. If it's something hot, then I'm not dipping it into some kind of sauce. I just don't like it. I feel like dipping hot food into room temperature or even worse, cold sauce just

makes my food cold. I would much rather salt or use some sort of seasoning like paprika to flavor the food because that way I'm not ruining the perfectly serviceable chicken nugget. What do you guys think? Is this a hill worth dying on? Should I save my breath? I was going to say that if you're not eating these types of foods with dip,

you're not getting any extra flavor. Chicken has no flavor. You get it for the sauce. Especially for that especially that kind of thing. Yeah. But

he did point out that he's adding seasoning on his own accord to make it taste better to enhance it. Salt.

So yeah I guess if like he doesn't like sauce I can't fault him. Where's he getting the chicken from? Like McDonald's? He's talking like

Tenders or he's making it? No no either. It doesn't fault him. Where's he getting the chicken from? Like McDonald's? Is he talking like Tenders or he's making it? No, no, either. It doesn't matter. Either one. So to me, I guess the thing is like he's saying you don't

want it with sauce. I get that. But then he's saying he doesn't want seems pretty clear hot food with sauce which even then is like okay, do you just not

do you not like your food having sauce when it's hot? But it just sounds like he feels like anything is going to bring down the temperature. It seems like anything is making it cold. First of all, if you put

room temperature sauce on hot food, it's hot. It's hot. Room temperature sauce does not lower the temperature. Room temperature will immediately adapt to the hot, as long as there's not 10 times more room temperature sauce than food.

Right. Yeah. Like, I'm with you. I don't like, if I gotta heat something up, like, we're talking about cooking or heating up. I don't like to heat,

Nick really wants us to see that he's, the whole sauce. Oh, he's fucking, he's gunning for it. He's pissed. He's gunning. Watch out, Ryan.

Like, for example, if I'm reheating food and I have sauce, I don't, I won't put the sauce on the food and reheat it because it like fucks it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You do it, yeah, yeah you do it yeah separate but if it's cold sauce I'll heat it by itself for like a couple seconds just to get it room temperature because I agree if it's cold then you're biting it

and it's like you have like a hot and cold sensation it can clash that's yucky I don't agree with room temperature I think that's fine but the other thing

I was thinking is if you're talking about cooking it you can cook food with sauce you definitely can like it doesn't have to be yes it doesn't have to be I'm done now add sauce Other thing I was thinking is if you're talking about cooking it, you can cook food with sauce. You definitely can. Like it doesn't have to be. Yes. It doesn't have to be I'm done, now add sauce. So that was my question.

You can make chicken with sauce. You can make sauce hot. So what if he heats up the sauce separate? Okay. I mean, I guess like in my opinion. Write him back. Write him back. Maybe he'll reply.

Dear guy. In my opinion, I'm guessing he doesn't want to go through the extra steps of like heating up sauce I guess so because I agree I think the real

underlying thing is he just doesn't like the sauce he's looking for a way because if you're already cooking the food it's no extra steps that's my point you throw in

like with like chicken you literally finish cooking you dump the sauce on and you let it simmer or low cook for like another two minutes and then it's all hot and then you're done. I kind of get his point, I guess, if he's getting fast food.

But again, if you get a fast food nugget and you have room temperature sauce, it's warm to hot. Yeah. It's so, I don't know. I don't really understand the like, oh my God, the freezing cold temperature. And again, he did preface this by saying, everyone understands and agrees with me, but also nobody cares.

Yeah, also nobody agrees with you. Yeah, I can really see where everyone's coming from. I think that either you heat up your sauce. I think going sauiceless for like McDonald's nuggets is crazy. You're doing yourself a disservice. See, I- They're not made for individual eating. I will like McDonald's nuggets is crazy. You're doing yourself a disservice. See, I.

They're not made for individual eating. I will eat McDonald's nuggets sauceless. Wow. Only when I like handed it in the drive-thru, immediately eat it. Because you get like such a crunch, just a crisp. Oh, I get that. I'll eat like two just so I can get a baseline and be like, really enjoy that like this fucker just got made 16 seconds ago.

Uh, and I don't fuck with sauce in the car while I'm driving. No, of course not. So I'm depending on how hungry I am. Usually I'll eat like two or three. If I'm fucking starving, I might suck down the box before I get home.

Yeah. Once I get home, it's sauce time. Yeah. Um, I think it's, but if I, if they were,

if they weren't piping hot, that's absolutely needs off. It's got about a one minute. Yeah. No think it's crazy to not have any. But if they weren't piping hot, it absolutely needs sauce. It's got about a one-minute chocolate. Yeah, no kidding. You have to eat without sauce. Ruling is give room temperature a chance. Give it a chance. Yeah.

I see. Or just admit you don't like sauce. Yeah. You're not a sauce guy. Don't lie to yourself. Right. We're not going to judge you. Nick will.

Yeah, but we won't. Yeah, Nick will. You be careful. Nick might kill you. Yeah, but maybe he's just not saying it to himself. Yeah, he needs to be. It doesn't matter what the food is. If something if it's something hot

that I'm dipping into some kind of sauce, I don't like doing it. It just sounds like you don't like sauce. Yeah. I think you just need to come to terms with that fact. So is the ruling admit that you don't like sauce? I think I'm with Jordan. Try room temp. don't be scared room temp i think is willing to go in either direction but i got to agree i feel like

or i have to say i think room temp going hot is even easier than cold definitely yeah i think if you throw room temp sauce on a hot food and i mean hot food not warm but like hot it's not like the sauce is gonna magically heat up but if it's warm enough, you're never going to notice it. Yeah. You're not going to, you put the whole thing in your mouth. It's not going to stand out. Yeah.

So, I mean, you know, maybe, maybe you've got a super palate. I don't know. Oh, it could be a super taster.

Yeah. Okay. Uh, this would be our last court case. I have so many flagged. I know we'll go get the next time. Oh, you know,

what's so fucking funny to me too. I was just like, oh man, I didn't know that was from stab. Did it. I flagged that one. I know. We'll go get the next time. Oh, you know what's so fucking funny to me, too? What's that? I was just like, oh, man, I didn't know that was from Stabbed. I flagged that one. Of course. I looked at it, and well, my point is also, I clearly went, oh, that's awesome, and then forgot, and it was I mean, it was the middle

of last month. Fuck's sake. It's December 15th. We're good. I just wanted Jordan to look at the ones I flagged and they're almost all from just glancing at them and you can see why. Usually it's in the subject title or the first couple sentences. And it's either I flagged them because the subject title is so good and interesting,

or it opens up with like some sort of demand or someone who I want to hammer. Well, here's what, here's one who's... Do it. Don't read the whole thing. Just read my little snapshot you're looking at. Well, it says here, this is appeals court. It's just a slice of cheddar cheese with peanut

butter on it. That was the one where we were discussing whether it was shredded or not. We got your appeals court. Doesn't mean we're going to take it. We got new cases to look at. You got to send that up to the Supreme Court. But hey, I flagged it. I flagged it. Appeals Court.

Can I say for the Appeals Court though, I do appreciate the like fucking caps and asterisks. Yeah, they really like separated it. Riley, look at Riley. It's like Appeals Court. I'm letting you know. Very official. I'm letting you know it's like spam.

We'll get back to it and hammer you again later. Okay, quickly. Okay, go ahead. Subject. Is this macaroni and cheese? That's a new one, right? That came in recently. Yeah, yes.

Dear Honorable Face Jam, I present to you a case of semantics in macaroni and cheese. Oh, everyone's favorite. For lunch, I sometimes make a simple dish where I boil plain macaroni,

scoop the desired amount of pasta into the bowl, and top it with shredded cheese. Okay. My husband says I'm making macaroni and cheese. And while I completely understand the ingredients are literally macaroni and cheese, I disagree with this statement. To me, macaroni and cheese implies macaroni with a cheese sauce like a box of Kraft. Wrong. If someone wanted macaroni and cheese.

You could melt cheese. Yeah. And were given the dish that I make make they would be sorely disappointed but my husband insists that this could only be macaroni and cheese for some details okay i put a quarter cup of cheese in a hang a wait i put about a quarter cup of cheese on a cereal bowl's worth of macaroni, I always garnish with the cheese on an individual serving and don't put it directly into the pot. Okay. I do mix the cheese around in the macaroni,

but I like to wait for the pasta to cool a little bit so that the cheese retains its integrity. We got a non-melter out here. Yeah, this is such a weird way to eat it. Lastly, I refer to this dish as elbows and cheese. Shut the fuck up. Because this is what my mother always called it. And she's the one who first made it for me.

I assume this was her way of distinguishing it from macaroni and cheese, which she also made. I ask you now, who of us is correct in this debate? Is this macaroni and cheese? This is a great question. Again, it absolutely is a semantics

question. I was going to say, her first line there is like, I put pasta and cheese together, and I'm like, there's a case to be made that it's not macaroni. It's literally macaroni pasta. It's macaroni and cheese.

I'm going to very succinctly give my opinion which isn't all of my thoughts on this case but I'm gonna jump right to my ruling of is this mac and cheese I mean yes but as you in your own statement have clearly said

it's like it's not mac and cheese TM that's macaroni and cheese TM. Yeah. Right. That's macaroni and cheese. It is macaroni and it is cheese. That does not melt. So sure. It is macaroni and cheese,

but it's not macaroni and cheese. That's obvious. You know that, you know that when you fucking wrote it. Yeah. The idea to call it elbows and cheese is like, you couldn't even change both words. Yeah. Right. Like you to call it elbows and cheese is like you couldn't even change both words. Yeah, right?

Like you could... Because elbows and dairy. I mean, but the thing is like you can't get around cheese. You gotta say cheese. You have to say elbows and cheese. Here's the thing. The fact that, again,

she admitted elbows and cheese, like so you're admitting you're wrong. It's not macaroni and cheese. The fact that you have to call it something else. It's like if you are asking the question, is this like macaroni and cheese as far as anything could be considered? No, it can't be.

That's not it. Everything you've described is not, that's not macaroni and cheese. I would sooner entertain as a hot dog a sandwich. The fact that, because you can make a case, this is literally macaroni and cheese. Right.

But the fact that she went out of her way to say, oh, well, I let it cool because I don't want the cheese to melt. So you're furthering, you know it's not, quote, macaroni and cheese. It's macaroni food with cheese food. It's not the dish macaroni and cheese. Because, Michael, if she did that, then it would look just like macaroni and cheese. This is elbows and cheese. Right. This is elbows and cheese. Right. This is elbows and cheese.

But again, because you have taken all those steps to not make it macaroni and cheese, it is not macaroni and cheese, the dish. But you can never escape the two foods you've put in it. Yeah. It doesn't matter how much. It doesn't matter. You call it elbows. You deciding to call it that doesn't change shit.

Nick's got something. Bows and shreds. Bows and shreds. Bows and shreds. All right. That's something. Well, see, that's kind of confusing. Who the fuck would think that's a food, Nick? Who the fuck?

Bows and shreds. You got bows and shreds? It also seems like it would be bow tie pasta. I was going to say, you could think it's farfalle. Shit. So you need to be careful. You really need to put an apostrophe in front of that bows. There you go.

Now you got Bose and shreds. Now what I wanted to say as an aside, though, besides all of this. So again, it is obviously nontraditional. It's not the craziest thing because it's just macaroni and it's just cheese. It's still two normal foods. It's weird that you don't want it melted. It's weird that you go so out of your way to not eat macaroni and cheese. When macaroni and cheese probably is better.

I can't say I wasn't intrigued by this dish and would like to try it. Because I do like macaroni and I do like cheese. I was kind of picturing it. And you like macaroni and cheese. Well, it also... To me, it sounds like what she's doing. The fact that it's cold, too.

Honestly, to me, what it sounds like you're doing but that's true that's true the cheese could be going on cold to me the way that she said she's adding the cheese and mixing it is like someone making a salad yes yeah that's like I was just picturing like room temperature

pasta with some slightly cool shredded cheese that texture doesn't seem pasta with some slightly cool shredded cheese. That texture doesn't seem great in my mind. I kind of want to try it. Yeah. I do like the part where she said, if someone wanted macaroni and cheese and they were given the dish

that I make, they would be sorely disappointed. You know what? Could you? I'm like a normal person probably. Definitely a child. But you know what? That's an argument in her favor. Of like, this is not macaroni and cheese. Because if you were given this, you'd be like, what the fuck is this? I mean, but again, again, I will give her she's right to the point of this is not macaroni and cheese.

This is macaroni and some cheese. You know what I mean? Again, like it is. You can't escape. You literally can't escape it. You're using macaroni and you're using cheese. We could debate forever. You really have presented an interesting logical puzzle here.

That came up and every public defender went, nope. And you went, I can take this case. Yeah, I got it. I can turn macaroni and cheese into something else. That's crazy. Crazy. macaroni and cheese into something else. Crazy.

Crazy. It's hard to come up with a ruling other than you can't escape that it's macaroni and cheese as ingredient, but it is not the dish macaroni and cheese. I guess you can call it whatever you want, but if you're going to change it, change it entirely. Elbows

and cheese. Change the cheese bar. I'm sorry, what was the original question she wanted us to decide? Is this macaron elbows and cheese change the what was i'm sorry what was the original question she wanted us to decide is this macaroni and cheese and she was against that it she says that it's not macaroni and cheese her husband says it is macaroni right so they're both right yeah they're both right for two different reasons we'll cut the baby in half yeah i mean i mean you cut the dish in half so someone might I mean, you cut the dish in half, so someone might get a macaroni and someone might get a cheese

because they are not melted. I also have never heard, I've never heard someone describe unmelted cheese as retaining its integrity. Really something. What? Really something. I would say you've taken

the integrity out of it. I would say I'm infuriated whenever my cheese doesn't melt. Yeah, I did not. Yeah. The melted is the integrity. I've denied it this enzyme that makes it good. I'm screaming let it evolve. Stop mashing B.

Stop it at a caterpillar. What the fuck are you doing? That was a good one. What do you think? Is it macaroni and cheese? It's macaroni and cheese, but is it macaroni and cheese? Right. Again, you need to clarify the question. Is it macaroni and cheese is too vague.

In what way? Is it macaroni and cheese the classic dish that everyone knows and loves? No. If that's what your husband is saying, no. If your husband is saying it's basically macaroni and cheese, you're it's basically macaroni and cheese You're still calling it macaroni and cheese It's not the classic dish

But those are the ingredients Then that's right It's really dependent on the question Two out of the three words remain unchanged in this dish You've changed elbows And cheese is still there Jordan, again, all you can do is change the question And how you ask it

And you will get completely different answers is this asshole macaroni and cheese yes the answer is yes is this real macaroni and cheese no it's like i'm very positive at all my answers you just need to ask me well let us know what you think but i think we have our rulings you can um follow us at face jam pod on twitter and on instagram and just around in austin yeah you can follow you follow FaceJamPod on Twitter and on Instagram. And just around in Austin. Yeah, you can follow Nick around. And then you can also email your food conundrums and debates to FaceJamPod at RoosterTeeth.com. You might be featured on this show.

Featured. Where we handle you about macaroni and cheese or macaroni and cheese. Like, for example, you could be Ian sending a question in a food court, which grandparent is more wrong? That's the subject. That's going to be going for next time. I'll get to you. I've now confirmed it, Ian.

You're next on my list. And it starts by saying, hello, glorious kings. Nice. It's always nice. I do love the showering of compliments that we receive. Yeah, don't stop that. I guess I could have my phone now. He's reading his inbox.

Can you email it to him so it just pops up to the top? During that last one, got a text from Big Ray. Oh, really? Yeah, he wants to get some coffee. I'm going to blow him off. I don't have time. The invite was nice. Tell him you're eating elbows and cheese. I will. I'm going to say

can't. Already got plans eating elbows and cheese. I will. I'm going to say can't. Already got plans eating elbows and cheese. But for now, let's just go to the outro. Hey, jammers. Thanks for listening to Spitting Silly. Don't forget to listen

to a new episode of Face Jam next week. That's right. Next week, because this was Spitting Silly, that'll be Face Jam. Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want.

We might hammer the fans, but only if you deserve it. Uh, or if, uh, we're just feeling a little, uh, it's like vengeful that day.

Yeah. We, I'm just going to say we at face jam are here to support each other, but that's unfortunately sometimes at your expense. Yes. So it might be like, man, I'm having a little bit of a rough day and I might say,

Hey, that's cool. Go twice as hard at the jammers. You'll feel better. Hey, thanks a lot, man. And then we record the bit of a rough day. And I might say, hey, that's cool. Go twice as hard at the jammers. You'll feel better. Hey, thanks a lot, man. And then we record the episode and people go, they were pissed off that episode. No, we were great. Goodbye.