100% Eat - Spittin' Silly: Food Court 8

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Order in the court, the FOOD COURT! Our Hero Judges are back to rule on more cases from you loyal bugs. This week its room temperature condiments, a monkey spreadsheet, burger top, pan fried pb&j with eggs maybe, and if pretzels is cereal. Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/50facejam and use code 50facejam, ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/facejam, and Nuts.com http://nuts.com/facejam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Imagine yourself in Ottawa, surrounded by thousands of vibrant tulips, and discovering your new favorite microbrewery, before cycling along scenic bike paths and wandering through a museum in awe. Adventure awaits in Ottawa, from O to Ah. Plan your getaway at ottawatourism.ca. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does. I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, alongside my co-host, Michael Jones. Michael, you got yellow hair now. Thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly. No, no, no. I sent that to you so you had it on hand. That's the outro. We do that at the end.

But what if we just got them both out of the way? No, you don't get the outro out of the way. Then it would just be over. It just cuts off. That's a great way to do it. Or this could just be the episode. You do the outro now and we're just done. You just say at the top, you tell people where to listen next week.

They're going to remember. It's right at the beginning. At the end, they're tuned out. They're sipping their hot honey suck liquid right now, and it's making them tired and hot, and they're going to start getting sleepy later, and they're going to forget instructions.

That's why we get it feeded to them now. And then they're going to rebound, and then they're going to get sleepy again, because we just did a podcast. Going to eat a ketchup cupcake. Hey, it's food court. Wow, we're doing that? Oh, shit. Order in the court.

Yeah, you're about to get slammed. We have gotten, I would say, probably about 14 million emails since the last episode. I mean, that's conservative. Yeah, right. Which we always strive to be. Which we are. Facejamppod at roosterteeth.com is the email

where you can send in your food conundrums. I believe this is Gracie's first foray into the food court. Gracie, I'll set it up for you as well as the listener. What's going to happen is that I'm going to read these emails that are sent in by Bugs. And they have food conundrums. These food conundrums will be settled by Michael and Jordan, our honorable judge heroes. And also the monkey is here and he's a bailiff. He is a gun.

Okay. That's not what a bailiff does. Yeah, but it is what he does. Cracking skulls. He's putting them in contempt. We announced at RTX that we're going to be doing a video version of the show. I think that'll probably be later this year, early next year. But for now, enjoy.

We will keep doing it this way. Yeah. Also, he didn't say he's the stenographer. Right, I'm the stenographer. That's all? You explained everything but that part. We all have roles that we play. I said I was going to read. Michael, you're right. Gracie's here taking court notes.

Perfect. Isn't that your job? No, I'm not taking notes. I'm reading notes. Interesting. So you're more like the the you're like kevin mccarthy you're just like kevin mccarthy hey i can't get shit done i'm a fucking idiot everybody hates me and you're also from california i'm giving up so much power to get anything done and it is not working at all. Hey, that tracks.

That's pretty good. Here's our first email from Ryan from Michigan. Greetings, judges. That's you. I have a question that I have long debated with housemates and friends alike, and I'm turning to you for an official ruling on something that isn't just, hey, does this gross food suck? Thank you.

Right? Good for him. Thank you. This is regarding condiments. Okay. I've long considered condiments, i.e., ketchup, ranch, barbecue sauce, honey mustard, etc., to be ideally served at room temperature. Whenever I get a cup of room temperature ranch or ketchup at a restaurant as a dipping sauce,

it is always more flavorful than if it was being served cold. Many people I've pitched this argument at since you're meant... Right, because it's not a conversation. Since you're meant to keep them preserved in a refrigerator, they're obviously meant to be served cold. So that's what everyone else is saying. After all, who's going to wait 10 to 15 minutes for the ranch to reach optimal temperature

when they're just throwing some onion rings in the air fryer? So, who is right? What is the optimal temperature? Seems easy. Right. Well, I is right? What is the optimal temperature? It seems easy. Right. I mean, before we talked about this, we said we're going through a lot of these today. It's so easy, and we're both going to say it

at the same time right now. I don't even know how we're going to phrase it. Here we go. Ready? You're going to phrase it the exact same way. Three, two, one. Condiments are not meant to be cold. More research needs to be done because who can say? Nick is holding up a sign that says cold. Okay, that, here's Condiments are not meant to be cold. More research needs to be done because who can say? Nick is holding up a sign that says cold. Okay, that.

Here's what I'm going to say. You put it in the refrigerator because it's going to go bad. Yeah. Right. I don't. That's it, right? It's like. It's not because it's meant to be cold.

There's shit that will turn. It's because you want it to last. I'm not going to leave blue cheese on the counter. It's cheese. Yeah, you got to put it in cold. I don't. to leave blue cheese on the counter. It's cheese. Yeah, you got to put it in cold. I would always have it room temperature. Cold offers nothing to me. We don't live in a perfect world.

Do you let it go back to room temperature? Oh, no. When you make a sandwich or something? Again, the question isn't even like, what do I do? It's like, what's preferred? I'm always going to prefer room temperature. But then how much am I using this for? How much does it matter?

Yeah. Right. For example, say I'm taking out leftover barbecue and it's a whole fucking spread. It's like a lot. I'm going to heat up the barbecue sauce. I'm not going to, I'm not going to fucking. Although not necessarily you always have to refrigerate, but it falls under the, if it's a condiment, you put it in the refrigerator.

I'm going to heat that up. If I'm like standing in the, in the refrigerator, Tony Soprano style, shoving food in my face, who gives a shit if it's cold? But if it's optimal, I would like it room temperature or warm. Ideally, the food's hot, and so it being room temp is fine. Right. But it could also be a problem where if it's so cold, fresh out of the fridge cold, and you have something that's heated up, that is too much contrast. I agree.

If you're putting cold barbecue sauce on hot barbecue, that's bad. I agree. It's got to be hot enough and not cold enough where it doesn't stand out. I don't want to be like, ooh, cold bite. It's like when you heat up spaghetti, and you think, surely eight minutes is enough.

And then you get into the spaghetti and you go fuck it's still cold you put it back in the microwave don't just keep eating it i mean that's well here's the other thing he says it's more flavorful at room temperature right i don't know about that argument i i don't know either hang on what is going on over here we got a whole the monkey has a spread this is what hey if you haven't seen oppenheimer yet this is what it looks like. This is not bailiff-like at all, though, what's happening here. Hang on.

Watch out. What does he even say? Can you read that, Eric? Ranch equals gold. What? Hot sauce. Oh, cold. You definitely...

That's a G. That's 100% a G. I mean, it's a G. Oh, I did write a G. Fucking what? He wrote the wrong letter. All right, keep rolling. Let's go.

Half sauce equals room temp. Ketchup, cold, mayo, cold, barbecue, cold. You're fucking crazy. Wait, wait. Mustard either, queso hot, marinara either. Queso hot isn't even a question. You can't have it cold. It's something else.

One word to answer yes or You can't have it cold. It's something else! One word to answer yes or no. Your preference is cold. Crazy. As a preference, that's crazy to me. You dislike if it's room temperature. Okay. He's not going to dislike any sauce.

That's the thing. I just like it. I'm gonna say I think it's room temperature. I don't know who thinks because you have to refrigerate it, it should be cold. That's crazy to me. Right. Who's thinking like this? It just ends up being cold. Hey, you know when you make a hot cake, I don't put it in the refrigerator.

It's meant to be cold. What? What are you talking about? Do you buy it in the refrigerated section at the store? No. Then it doesn't have to go in the fridge right away. Oh, interesting. That's true.

When you go to the store and you buy mustard and you say you have a little bit of other mustard still in there and it's like, oh, I got a couple days left of mustard on that. Here's the new one. You don't put that new one in the fridge. I don't. It's true. The first time you use that, it says blank, then refrigerate.

That's when I put it in. Right. Interesting. So I think that tells... We spent so much time on this one. We were going to go fast, too. I think that tells you everything you need to know. I think Nick really fucked us up.

I think there's gray area in the... It's more flavorful. But I will say that, for the most part, people who say it's supposed to be cold are wrong. Okay. I think that's our ruling. That's a good ruling. I like how Jordan kind of... I don't know, you are so not definitive the entire time and with you are wrong.

Yeah. The most definitive way you could ever say that. I love it. Because we talked it out. No. And that's what we do. I agree. I agree.

I think you're right. And we have ruled. Which I think is in their favor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He said, I think that's right. Okay. Hey, here's our next one. This is from Curtis B. Dear Supreme Food Court. Whoa. I love the beginning of this email. I have lived in a few different countries and have met many people from all over the world.

Some of which are insane. Oh, excellent. People or countries? Why not both? Probably both. Yep. Some of these, quote, people eat a burger with the top bun, the seated side, facing down, or as I would say, upside down.

Can you confirm which way a burger should be held while being eaten? Am I a typical delusional jammer or am I in the minority loyal jammer curtis b i like that he's like i know it's one of two buckets am i insane style or regular style um i mean it's shaped the way it's shaped because that's how it should be eaten you don't turn it upside down and have the flat part that the button, the patty matches up with be away from the patty. I know there's science behind it. Right. Of like how you're biting it.

Right. Like, like it's not just that way. Willy nilly. You're saying like it being right side up is the correct way for many reasons. Correct. Yeah.

Like I know that the thoughts, but put in, put into it by these food people these these food food connoisseurs and foodologists uh and i'm willing to like i don't need to see the records i'm yeah ignorant enough to say that's the way it's been don't change it it can't be better another way or i guess even to say here's the thing you're not really saying another way you're just going what if i turn it upside down that's not that's not you didn't reinvent the right you kind of just respond with what if there's not like new aerodynamics involved that gets the food flavor in your nostrils more or

something it seems like you hear that seems like more work the only time i've ever seen this is i think at mcdonald's when they go australia or like more like in in Australia, they had like an upside down Big Mac one. Sure. And that's, that's pretty funny because they're on the upside down part of it. Right. Who the fuck, who is this person even going like,

look, give me the answer. Are there that many people talking to this person? Right. Are they arguing upside down? Are they all like normal bun style? Are they all like gaslighting him? He's met many insane people.

I mean, I guess here's the thing. Here's the. I mean, I guess. Here's the thing I'm thinking of. Here's the thing I guess I'm thinking of, right? You know how traditionally, I guess most people open a banana by ripping the stem part. You know, but then it turns out

like you pinch the other part, you peel it, and that's what the monkeys do and shit. See, that makes sense to me because it's like for whatever reason, people were just doing it the other way. But then it makes sense to also do it that other way. This isn't that. Right. You're just turning a fucking bun upside down.

It actually doesn't make sense. I'm picturing it and it's like, it seems way harder to do. It seems way harder to eat it. My only question would be, did you see people eating it this way in Germany where hamburgers are from? Would that make you say it's okay to eat the bottom? No, it wouldn't. I certainly wouldn't say that.

I would just say maybe they— Maybe support some evidence. Right. Maybe— Place to start. Yeah. You know. Maybe it would maybe make sense.

It wouldn't, but like maybe? I would just say if you're eating it where the seated side is on the bottom, and if you set it down, then it's weeble and wobble and all over the place. That is true, too. It's hard to think about. Yeah. In a lot of ways, the hamburger is perfectly engineered. Right.

It's perfectly engineered in every way. What did I tell you? I bet there are reasons. Yeah. And you've proven me right again. Just saying. Just saying. So what's the ruling? Eat it the are reasons. And you've proven me right again. Just saying. So what's the ruling? Eat it the right way.

The ruling is you're not insane. Those people are. Either you're exaggerating your interactions, or man, what an unfortunate person you are. To have to ask to be so in the weeds on this.

To eat a hamburger. Yeah. Well, he emailed the podcast about it, so. He's really insane either way. Now, when you cook the pizza, you put it face down when you put it in the oven, so all the shit falls off. Upside down pizza. You put it upside down, it falls all over. That's what they do in Australia.

Yep. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share. To each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new

show by Cirque du Soleil. Now playing under the big top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. The world is yours to create. Tickets at Cirque du Soleil.com. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. This next email is from Daman. Hello, Bud Kings.

Hi. My girlfriend and friends think I'm weirdo. Oh, no. For pan frying my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Okay. I take PB&J sandwiches and toss them in a skillet with butter like you would a grilled cheese. I like the buttery. Then we have some chips for you.

I like the buttery, crispy exterior in contrast to the warm, gooey center. center. I also have a variation on it as well where I add scrambled eggs and breakfast sausage patties to the inside of the sandwich before frying it. Stop. Stop. I was with you. My question is, should I be

ostracized like I currently am? For that! Or will I be walking in the same light? What happened? You're off the road that hard. I also have a variation on this. You were talking about you're talking about grilled PB&Js.

And I'm thinking this might work and then also put in but maybe sometimes sausage and eggs. I add scrambled eggs and sausage patties to your peanut butter and jelly?

What the fuck happened in the back half of this email? I gotta say like That's such a classic Face Jam email, though. Or it's like... This is why we do the show. Hey, help me out here with this thing that's like... People don't really get it.

This is very normal. And it's kind of interesting. Also, I'm a fucking freak. That's wild. That's some Fridays-level shit. Like, you want our PB&J... And E and S. Egg and sausage sandwich?

Nick, this office sign said, what the fuck? Why, uh... Let's ignore the second half. For a second. I don't know if I can. You have to. You don't have to. You're the snogger.

A grilled PB&J a la grilled cheese sandwich Sounds good I could I kind of want to try it Yeah Right because peanut butter Now I guess Is that the typical way to do it

No When he's making The peanut butter jelly sandwich Then cooking it Or he's putting it on after I think You're I think he's making it

And then like You would have grilled cheese And then putting it In the skillet Yes Right So he's making the whole sandwich Yes

Yeah yeah I think that's what he's saying a whole sandwich. Yes, yeah, yeah. I think that's what he's saying. I think that could be good. It is. I think that's good too. If you don't cook it too high, I'd be interested to see how that would melt together. A nice little toast.

I'll be honest, exactly what I was thinking when I was thinking, so much butter eating that chip was like when you butter a pan for grilled cheese. But that chip was more. Grilled cheese is like a good level. You go, mmm, butter. Not, oh, butter.

Now I want to eat that. Ignoring the second part, I'm going to make that. No, you can't ignore the second part. I can answer it separately in a separate universe. In the multiverse of madness, now this is the end of that question. Where'd that third I come from? What the fuck are you talking about? What the eggs?

What the eggs indeed. I'm trying to wrap my head around here. So it's like, okay, you've got the peanut butter and jelly. First of all, that works together. We know this. You're adding, like, toast and butter. That's fine. If anything, you're getting, like, jelly and toast, which is another classic, right?

That all works together. Yeah. The second you add eggs, how does that work? Like, it's on the same breakfast plate, but it's not the same food item. You're not eating eggs and jelly together. You might have jelly on the sausage, or you're

going to have syrup on the pancakes off to the side. You've kind of just combined all of this shit into a fucking monster sandwich. Can you read that passage again where he says, I have a variation on this? I also have a variation on it as well where I add scrambled eggs

and breakfast sausage patties to the inside the sandwich before frying it. Okay. I just wanted to make sure he didn't also just make a grilled breakfast sandwich. It is a variation where he's doing,

he's putting it all together and then he's frying it. Don't do that. Stop it. Our ruling is frying it. Don't do that. Stop it. Our ruling is stop it. Get help. Stop it. Do the first one though. But the first one's fine. You're not a weirdo for that.

I think your girlfriend and your girlfriend's friends are saying you're a weirdo. Probably more for the second one. What are you doing? He's drawing. He did like three that were like I wouldn't even mention them. This one is like, alright, take a picture of that one. He's drawing pictures and stuff now.

He's drawing pictures of food on plates. Michael, do you agree with this ruling? Yeah. Yes. Stop the second thing. Stop doing it. Stop telling people about it. They'll stop calling you weird. It's like a fucked up McGriddle is what you're trying to do

But see not getting see if you can get the grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich thing like off off the ground You think that has potential you could you should do it before? Uncrustables does cuz you're gonna fucking box you out. Have you uh? I'll be buying those put it in a panini press you What an Uncrustable? Yeah. You press it again? I'm just saying the ones they sell now that you can get.

Why would you press it again? It's already pressed. It's not grilled, though. We're making it grilled. You're saying panini pressed. Put it in the air fryer. You're just saying it's already pressed. You're just getting both sides done at the same time. I have to put one in the air fryer. Right. He's just saying it's already pressed. He's got a company just getting both sides done at the same time.

Oh, my God. I have to put one in an air fryer. I haven't done that. So I've done the peanut butter and jelly with butter, like, frying that. I've done that. It's really good. It's too sloppy to be, like, a regular thing because the peanut butter just melts. Too sloppy for this guy.

Like, fucking crazy. And by that, like, me. Yeah. We hate getting sticky. Don't get messy. I hate getting sticky. Don't get messy. I don't like being messy. I don't like being sticky. Air fryer,

uncrustable. That's, holy shit. It's the move. I've never thought of that. It's really good. It's really nice and toasty on the outside. It's a little crispy on the outside.

It's like a big ravioli, right? You know all those, you know all those dog shit, like Friday's, Friday's chilies, whatever. They sell the in-store frozen version yeah and there's such a fucking pain in the ass it's like but i get the mozzarella sticks you know and it's

like 45 minutes to make these things and they fucking suck any of those that go air fryer holy fuck like 9.5 out of 10 right throw it in do nothing for for and it's like 11 minutes 90 i bought mac and cheese bites the other day, put them in the air fryer. I'm like, this is fucking... It's crazy how much better they are. This is like Friday's quality, which is not great,

but great for my freezer. Great for me to make in my home. You know, look into it. I got the Drew Barrymore one. Hell yeah. It's available at Walmart. Gracie, you want to talk right into that microphone. Would you eat the peanut butter and jelly

and eggs and breakfast sausage sandwich? Never. Okay, thank you. That is what he's saying, right? He's saying all of it goes on? That's why I had to get rid of it. Because otherwise, if you remove the other thing, you're just saying you make a breakfast sandwich? Right.

Which has nothing to do with anything. So that's confusing. If you're saying you just also then make toast and put eggs and sausage in it, that's a sandwich. Yeah, that's fine. I think we're all assuming here you're talking about and the peanut butter and jelly., that's a sandwich. Yeah. That's fine. I think we're all assuming here you're talking about and the peanut butter and jelly. Because that's the way it's written. Again.

Because why else would you bring it up? Yeah. Why else would you bring it up? Yeah. Stop doing that. Yeah. Don't bring it up. Don't bring it up.

Don't talk about it. There you go. It's not interesting. It's not interesting. You're not interesting. It's not interesting. Let's get to another. Okay.

So our ruling on that one was fucking stop it but I'm gonna A try the first one yeah but B

now sooner gonna air fry an incrustable because it's so much easier to do I'm gonna do it the second I get home today oh yeah Nick's fucking howling

Nick's gonna do it too he doesn't have an incrustables or air fryers he's coming over to your house. But he's picking them up on the way home. Yeah. Well, on the way to Friday's. Okay.

This is from Taylor H. Title of this email. We cheesing in this bitch. Okay. Cool. Good morning, all. It's 2.53 p.m. That's what a setup.

You've set yourself up for that. Let that be a lesson to anyone else writing us emails. Don't you dare put the time of day in it. Don't be cordial. Dunk and hammer. About six months ago, I noticed my girlfriend was eating easy cheese with wheat thins. To me, at the time, thought that was fucking whack. After a few months of grilling her for how disgusting easy cheese is.

A few months of grilling? After a few months of grilling her for how disgusting easy cheese is, I decided to give it a go. Right. I always knocked it, but did not try it. Shocking. Rule number one. But alas, I decided to not knock it and try it you already knocked it for my right

and just outright claiming completely ignorant yeah never had it before you decided to stop harassing someone for months about something you've never tried excellent fucking yelling at my girlfriend for about six months now now I'm giving it a shot it was fantastic on wheat fence fucking shit let me also say we are not hypocrites because we would never try the peanut butter and jelly breakfast thing because that sounds bad. I would try that. Well, that's an insane move. That's why we asked Gracie. I don't need to try that.

Well, I would try it. I would never be a hypocrite. It would just change if I changed my mind. That's the difference here. We're just better. We're built different. Okay, so after he tries the wheatat Thins with Easy Cheese. With something that could have easily been done in a second time.

In one second of time. You could have saved her months of aggravation. Drive a car for, you know. Hey, I'm a real shitty boyfriend. Check this out. Anyway, one day when she was out and I was going through her stuff, reading her text messages and emails, I saw her Wheat Thins in her bag and I started sucking them down like the little monster that I am.

Turns out she's right. I'll never tell her, of course. What do I do? That's pretty much how the rest goes, right? Later that day, we turned a movie on and I popped us some popcorn. I saw the bottle of Easy Cheese there and put it on a piece of popcorn.

My girlfriend scoffed at me and started grilling me. She will not try it and refuses to believe me that Easy Cheese can be good on popcorn. Specifically, Orville Redenbacher's butter microwave popcorn. I'm sorry.

Do you guys think this is disgusting or do you think she needs to try it since I eventually tried her concoction? Irrelevant. Irrelevant. I'm sorry. This whole thing was insane and then at the end you went and now she won't try it, which is also insane!

This is how the world never improves! Hey, you know the thing that you did that you hated? Now I'm doing it! Do you hate it? Eat the fucking popcorn! He also says like, I finally tried her thing. Like kind of.

Yeah. Right. Like in shame, in secret when no one was around. Not like you came around to it. You were shocked to be proven wrong and then just went with it with gusto and are now in the exact same position.

That's absolute insanity. Oh wow. I think it sucks. Imagine how this email reads without the first part of it, where it's just like, my girlfriend doesn't want to try this popcorn thing that I made. And then we would just be like, wow, why won't she

try it? But with all the other content. Well, actually, let me tell you how we got here. I dunked and hammered her for months. I'm just saying, either, I don't know if it's just their terminology or there's some really, there's two-way grilling going on. It was very specific that now she's grilling him. Yeah.

And is this just how it goes? Is this a grill back? Is this revenge? Or is this normal in this household? I don't know. Right. I will say, I think easy cheese on a cracker, probably one of the most normal things I could ever think of.

Absolutely. That's what it belongs on. When I think of easy cheese. He never tried it. Now he just wants to try it on everything. When I think of easy cheese, I think the main reason it exists is because crackers exist. Yeah.

Right? It's the number one thing you put it on is a cracker. Now, whether that's good or not, that's going to be whether you like canned cheese or not. Yeah. it on as a cracker. Now, whether that's good or not, that's gonna be whether you like canned cheese or not. Yeah. Is it good? Not really. Can you, can I see someone sucking it down like an animal? Of course. Like everything that's not really

good. Cracker makes way more sense to me than popcorn. Like, Jordan, that's, now you're just putting it on shit. Right. Now you've just decided it's good because you said so, not because it was good because you said so not because it was good right popcorn seems annoying shit and way too tedious to be doing like per popcorn yeah a cracker at least you get some spread you take a bite your popcorn is like one second for

her to scoff corn at the popcorn that's makes sense for him to have scoffed at the cracker is like, come on. I will say I agree whether it's whether it's revenge scoff or not. But you both deserve it. And also the cracker makes more sense. We do find ourselves in an interesting scenario as a result of all of this, though, where she should try the popcorn with the cheese on it. Just to see. I think it's a good rule to say don't knock something, especially if it's that easy to do, until you try it. But I think you should try it and then immediately knock him for it.

Because it's not going to be as good as the cracker. And now I'm answering her who didn't write the email. But tell her that we said she should try it and then hammer you for it yeah she doesn't have to like in fact she probably won't and play her specifically this next part hey when he was grilling you for months over the wheat thin and cheese thing did you ever write into a podcast about it how many times did you have to say no i'm not eating this before he wrote into a podcast about it? How many times did you have to say, no, I'm not eating this before he wrote into a podcast about it?

Just something to think about in this relationship, I guess. It happened once and he went, no! And he wrote an email to a podcast after saying months of grilling her about this thing I wouldn't try. He got grilled once.

He went, no! Dear Bug Kings, I love you. Maybe she did the right to podcast because that wouldn't surprise me. Can you... That wouldn't shock me. Let's do a quick search for Gmail.

Did Call Her Daddy read your half of this email or what happened? So what's going on? So what is your ruling, I guess, ultimately on this one? I mean, I do think she should try it. Like, not even to be fair, but like just like she doesn't have to like it, obviously.

She probably won't, but just try it. And so that the grilling and the dunking can be warranted. Stop grilling over canned cheese. Yeah, no point in grilling over canned cheese. I think there's even ground here on eat the cracker, eat the popcorn. Stop eating canned cheese. Just buy little cheese slices. Just get little cheese slices.

Get the little cheese thing. They're like 100 million times better to put on a cracker. It's real cheese. They fit like the hamburger thing. You get the cracker and the cheese. Whoa, it goes right on there. They're made for each other. You guys smooth everything over. Everything's going great. Throw some fucking pepperoni on there. You know what Ier and the cheese. Whoa, it goes right on there. They're made for each other. Fuck, you guys smoothing it over. Everything's going great. Throw some fucking pepperoni

on there. You know what I mean? Just have fun. Just have fun. That's my ruling. You don't really need cheese on popcorn either. There you go. That seems excessive. He said on a piece of popcorn, too. Just buy cheddar popcorn. That's what Jordan said. He's just going nuts with the thing that he hated

and that was great. We have time for one more fast one, and I do want to do this one. This is the one that got me real fucked up. Okay. This is from Sydney C. Dear honorable judges and others. That's Gracie. A friend recently informed me that she enjoys breaking up a handful of hard pretzels into

a glass of cold milk as a snack. She insists that it's just cereal and quote, not weird. She says that quote, the salt makes it great and pretzels are just salty cookies. Attention to the photo of the cereal, in quotes, using thin mint chocolate covered pretzels.

Is this cereal? Is it weird? Should I stop being your friend? Thank you for your time, Sydney. I'm so excited to show you this photo. Okay. Yeah, that's definitely not cereal. That's not anything. Gracie is sitting here mouth agape at what I've just shown her.

Here's the problem, too, which you can, it's not always going to be the case, but it is a flag. When you're reading it, and they mention what the thing is, and then they also have their friend's automated response defending it to the highest regard. It's basically this, this, and this, and you're hearing it in passing going, it's not really any of those

things, and this is your go-to. It's not like Pretzels is not like cereal You don't have salt in cereal Pretzels is not like cereal It's not in any And I get like If you're talking like

You're living in an oatmeal world You know what I mean? And you're like You put some mush in a bowl It's kind of like cereal This is not that It's a fucking pretzel Also the other thing Pretzels is not that. It's a fucking pretzel. Also, the other thing,

pretzels is not cookies. Pretzels is fucking pretzels. What are you talking about? Before you even get to your food, you're fucking insane. You don't have delicious salted cookies all the time? I mean, maybe like a sweet caramel or something.

Salted caramel is a thing. Pretzels, chips, and cookies are three different things. I was imagining. You're saying pretzels is like cookies is like, you know, like strawberries is like, it's kind of like watermelon. When it was described, it's basically cereal. I was thinking a whole

bunch of pretzels are going in this. And there's like two pretzels in there. There's not a lot of pretzels in it. It's also 90%els yeah there's not a lot of pretzels it's also 90 it's also a very small cup yes yeah what what i'm it's just a small cup of milk with some pretzel chunks thrown in which also then right at the end added our chocolate at least this time yeah mid chocolate terrible but because they're just sort of slopped in there's not even any sort of chocolate milk happening at all.

It's a solid. It's like tempered chocolate. There's a chocolate pretzel. That is not coming apart. So I don't even know how you're eating this because realistically, you just drink the milk. It's gone. Now you've got some soggy shit at the bottom. That's it.

You get salty pretzel milk at the bottom. Because there's not even a scenario where you're drinking it and you can be sure you're going to get the pretzels. You might just pour milk on your face because it's like, oh, they're at the bottom. And be sure you're going to get the pretzels. You might just end up pouring milk on your face because it's like, oh, they're at the bottom. And then you're just going to fish them out with your finger. I like pretzel ice cream. That's good. You need a little pretzel bits in the ice cream with some chocolate every now and then.

Did you hear what she described? I'm just saying, maybe you'd like that better. Maybe you should try that and you'd be like, oh, I was way off base with the milk thing You guys should still be friends Here's the thing

I think it's fine I'm not saying that you should be I think it's fine that you're still friends If this is like the one scenario If you're sending one of these to every variety of podcast and there's a different issue Here's her take on movies

she insists we go in halfway through watch the back half first see the viewing of another film like if you're firing off one to each podcast you might need to stop being friends if this is your friends only fault if this is the only one it's I'm just saying it's a flag

but I think you're good for now it's a warning yeah not I don't even know again I'm just saying it's a flag, but I think you're good for now. It's a warning sign. Yeah. It's not, I don't even know. Again, not only flavor wise, how do you go about eating that as a, as a,

as a collective and not just shit in a cup with liquid. Cause that's what, there's no spoon involved. I, how are you getting it out? It's just like pouring a drink and then chew. I don't know. Because't know It doesn't sound good It's also not even that soggy unless you're leaving it

Because it's just like I've poured it I'm drinking it the milk's almost gone already And now there's three pretzels in my cup We have done We've done so many of these cases That like we have like Settled law and like Rulings that kind of like line up like we have like settled law and like rulings that kind of like line up with each other everything yeah but yeah i feel like even in this episode we've been

fairly inconsistent but i know in the past we've said you can't make people stop doing things we did tell somebody to stop doing something earlier but yeah we but we can't make them that's true that's just our advice You don't have to listen legal. It's just advice. That's why they're called counsel. I guess that's not the case with judges, though. You kind of have to listen to them.

You kind of do. Well, no, not if you're Greg Abbott. Oh! Well, there you have it. That's food court. No Abbott's allowed. Nope. Any final thoughts?

Closing remarks? I'm going to air fry that peanut butter and jelly. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to go have some pretzel milk. I'm not. I'm not going to. All right.

Well, do the outro and then we'll. Did I fucking tell you? This is why you do it at the beginning. This is not why you do it at the beginning. I'm doing it at the beginning next time. You follow us at FaceJamPod. That's where you can follow us on Instagram and on Twitter. Thanks for listening to Spit and Silly.

Don't forget to listen to a new episode of FaceJam next week. That's right, next week. You have the same thing. You're on the same feed as this in FaceJam. This is FaceJam. And you go, what's this? And you don't listen to it. It's the same show.

Yeah, you should give it a shot. Except, well. If you've made it this far, you've seen it, I guess. If you've made it this far. We'll put this at the beginning of Face Jam going, that other show you keep skipping is our show. Right. It's the same show. You keep coming back for Face Jam and that one you're like, I don't know. Who's in that? Why do you keep unsubscribing from Face Jam?

Yeah, every other week they upload this new show. Anyway, tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want that's also different from Face Jam but it's on the same feed. Just listen to them both. Or just hit play. I don't care. Go to sleep after that. Then I get your ad money or something.

Right? Bye. Редактор субтитров А.Семкин Корректор А.Егорова