100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court 9

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Order in the court, the FOOD COURT! Our Hero Judges are back to rule on more cases from you loyal bugs. This week it's dunking cookies in liquids other than milk, mashed potato toppings, and the worst place to dispose of uneaten food.  Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/50facejam Code 50facejam, Katos Coffee http://katoskoffee.com, and Fitbod http://fitbod.me/FACEJAM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

it's time for spit and silly the fortnight podcast where anything can happen and it probably does i am your host jordan swears alongside my co-host michael jones hi michael hi jordan how are you not bad i just ate some chick-fil-a so that's kind of no no it's been two weeks no i mean it's been two weeks but It's been two weeks. It's been two weeks. Uh-huh. No, I mean, it's been two weeks, but I also just add something. That's right. I'm a convert. Oh, okay. He's building a new one near his house.

I think that's pretty cool. Yeah, and there needs to be one on the way. Yeah. They're putting up a Chick-fil-A and a new McDonald's breakfast. Yeah, I'm an investor in McDonald's breakfast. A new McDonald's breakfast. That's the name of the place. Yeah, it's called McDonald's breakfast. It is McDonald's breakfast. That's the name of the place. Yeah, it's called McDonald's breakfast.

It's McDonald's breakfast. Straight to the point. That seems like something that would be in Las Vegas. Just a place called McDonald's breakfast and they do breakfast all day. They would do it bad somehow though. Yeah, it's Vegas. I know. It would be more expensive if you go, how does this suck?

Yeah. What the fuck? Such a sucker. Food court. We got food court today. Yeah, we're doing a food court. By the time this is out, we've released the gavels.

Oh, great. Really? Yeah. So go to store.roosterteeth.com. If there's any gavels left, go buy one. But we don't have any right now. No, we certainly don't. That's weird, huh?

It's not. He sounded surprised. I'm with him. It's not time yet. No. So we have some But soon Soon

We have some food court submissions This is one that we've talked about But we're gonna get into it He's already throwing his hands up in the air This is the one we talked about But we're gonna get into it now It's been weeks at this point Calvin

Hey there experienced eaters Slash whatever legal title you hold this week That's not like our titles change week to week Yeah What are you talking about? It's already off to a bad start wow he's fired up wow i was having dinner with my brother and we decided to have some cookies afterwards i poured myself a glass of milk to dunk my cookies and asked if he wanted one he said no because quote i water, that's fine. He proceeded to dunk his Oreos in water as I looked on in horror. And he claims that is the softening of the cookie that is the good part about dunking in the milk

and water can do just as good a job. We were eating chocolate chip cookies at the time, but he says he also does this with Oreos. What the fuck? Now, I continue to dunk and hammer him on a regular basis for picking the freak. Dunk I continue to dunk and hammer him on a regular basis. Dunk your cookies, dunk and hammer. But is this acceptable behavior?

Am I acting on the sides of all things holy? Is there an acceptable cookie dunking liquid? And is water on that list? Please help me. Much love, Calvin. No, water is not on that list. Water is not on the list of things to dunk cookies in. I don't even need to deliberate.

This is just ramb list of things to dump cookies in. I don't even need to deliberate. That's just ramblings of a madness. And I don't even need to consider trying it. No! It's water! It's water. It softens, but it also absorbs. You're absorbing it into the cookie. What are you talking about? You've made a wet cookie. What are you talking about? You haven't... Milk works

because it adds, it absorbs, but it's like a good flavor. Yeah like the dairy mixes it adds a creaminess to it's i don't i'm not a scientist but there's a reason it works there's definitely some swear science behind it no well my title changed oh that's oh this week yeah he was he was professor jones last week professor jones henry jones jr so we're so so so this one we've been talking about for a while we have and here's the thing that happened and why i wanted to get to it first is because what gracie said was well what if you get a vanilla oreo and you dunk it in root beer okay i forgot she said that what we we should do, if you're listening to this, we have already done it because

we should do it on the live stream. Please. Yeah, we should We'll tell. She just wants to try it. Gracie can't fucking wait. Gracie can't wait to dunk Oreos in root beer. So we will have tried it by this point.

What do you think you'll have thought about it? I mean, I don't Yeah, no, we know what you thought. We know what you thought already. Oh my god. I love it. I love it. It's great. It's fucking great. I love it. I love it. Nick has written, hang on,

Nick has written any port in a storm that's, hold that up again. That's That's He's written any port in a storm. Hold that up again. That's. That's. Guys, what are you talking about? Guys, any liquid you can grab. We're talking about the root beer or the water at this point. Right.

Because they're both ports in your scenario. Quick dunk. Insane. I love that he's equating this to like, if you have a cookie and you don't have a liquid, you might as well be a ship lost in sea. Right. And you just need something.

Right. How about this green tea I have? Right. Would that work? Where's the limit? What? Definitely. Like a Chips Ahoy in that one, right?

Yeah, definitely. Anchors away. Almost any port in a storm. I poked a hole in it immediately. What is it? Oreo and root beer? He's taking on water. No, I know originally. Vanilla Oreo, the white Oreo,

with root beer is what Gracie wants to try. I mean, it's going to be better than water. Yeah. Right? But I think it's still... It's going to be weird. It's still free food, yeah. It's not going to soften it like I think the milk will. My concern there is it'll wetten it.

The carbonation of the root beer... Oh, it's going to attach to the cookie. It's going to be a problem. You're going to be a problem. You're going to get a carbonated Oreo. It's like eating Pop Rocks. I don't want my Oreo to fight back. It's swinging! Let me ask this.

Gracie, are you doing a quick dunk in the root beer, or are you holding it there for four or five seconds? I feel like I have to try both. I'm going to let one soak while I do a dip. Are you submerging until the bubbles stop? Okay, I guess I have a third. Are you just dunking your whole hand in this fucking root beer cup?

Good lord. How long would you say is your standard if you got a cookie or an Oreo or something in a cup of milk? What's your standard dunk time? I don't think you should go past like four or five seconds because it's going hell no. That Oreo is falling apart. Oreo you do a little longer

because it's thicker. So nice though. But yeah, you want it to get just soft enough. Right. It's a real two, three seconds. Y'all are not going to like my take on this. What is your take? I actually slacked this to Eric last week. One of my favorite snacks is you get a cup of milk. Oh, my God.

Put Nilla wafers in them. But like I'm talking, you drop like eight cookies into the glass. Junks. I don't remember what it's called. Get a spoon. Sludge. Fish them out. Delicious.

Like they're almost falling apart at your spoon, but it's so good. They're almost falling apart. It's sludge at the bottom of a cup. It's just scooping. Just eat cereal. Can we do that with the Oreos? Who else does that? No.

This is just trying to turn this into crazy snacks. Yeah, and it's also really kind of encouraging the wrong behavior. Yeah. Knock it until you try it. You can't have this much power over the show. I'm not going to try it. I'll knock it before and after. What other thing was people talking about

basically what she just said? Was that a food court? Pretzel milk. The pretzel cereal. Remember it was like it was cereal or whatever? That's your pretzel milk. That's what you just said. Oh, it fully is my Nilla milk.

Oh my God. Nilla milk pretzels. Oh God. This is fucked. But I just like that. So we got this thing. You mentioned it. You can tell the debate is sparked.

The thing is, and I don't really feel bad about it because we've never really debated about a food court before an episode because that's kind of the whole point of it. But Eric said it, and we all went, what the fuck? There was no debate. What are they talking about? It's just the conversation that it spawned after, which was so interesting and

continues to be interesting. But then Gracie immediately was like, what if we have something completely different in a different way? What if we create an insane food I want to eat? Yeah, I guess what if? And then I get a Lamborghini. That'd be crazy. So what's your ruling? I think And then I get a Lamborghini. That'd be crazy. Yeah.

Oh, so what's your ruling? Like, I think we definitely have to try vanilla Oreo and root beer, which is just the craziest fucking thing you could do. Look, it's a distant cousin of the root beer float. It is. But, boy, it's a really distant. But it's not water. No, it's like third cousins to the root beer float. It's far enough where you could kiss them.

Your grandpa's grandpa is the only way that you're related. So you could definitely kiss that cousin, but it's not good. Why did you take root beer boat? He's sticking with the nautical band. I see. We're sailing. We're not sailing. So I say your brother should be locked up with Hillary.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Get him to try vanilla Oreo with root beer. That's actually true. You should say, hey, I wrote into this food podcast. They Dunkin' Hammered you. I'm right. But that is another suggestion from some gremlin over

there they want to try they have some other producer who keeps screaming about root beer oreos i don't you're not the weird one anymore uh you're not off the hook let's be clear yeah no that's that's wild that's wild i don't my thing is just like if if you're eating something that's dry if it's like because to me, it's not because it's dry. Right. It's an extra flair. It's added flavor. You can eat a cookie.

I don't eat a cookie. Yes. Unmoistened. It's like, oh, I want a milk and cookie. It's like a little dessert. Right. It's an enhancer. It's not any liquid does it.

Exactly. And then I also think if it were, you eat it and then you drink the water like a normal person. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Dunking it in water. You would dunk anything in water except like a dissolvable powder. Yeah. Seems insane.

I know some people are going to say, yeah, but if you eat the cookie and then drink the water, it's all going in the same place and it's all mixed up anyway. Right. At the end. Yeah. It's past my tongue at that point. Not at the same time. Water. Thinking about the remnants of a cookie at the bottom of

a glass of water and then drinking it because you know he's doing it. I'm going to gag. He's written a fucking poem. Cookie dunk at night, sailors delight. Okay, hang on. Let's make it.

We gotta start not reading them all out loud and then only when he does a good one like that. We gotta start not reading them all out loud and then only when he does a good one like that. We gotta raise the barometer here. You gotta take a lot of swings, but we gotta call them all out. Yeah. It's like his fifth one in ten minutes. He's got a lot to say about this.

Now he's gonna do baseball at sea references. That was the best one. God damn. The ruling is he's going to do baseball at sea references. That was the best one. God damn. Well, what's the ruling? I mean, the ruling is he's wrong. You can't put it in water. His brother's wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not allowed to do that anymore. You are... You're normal. Your brother's not. He's made you normal no matter what. At this point. Yes.

Unless we get some conflicting evidence. Yeah, if your brother emails in and he goes, get a load of this, then you'll never believe what my brother does. Chocolate spaghetti. All right, and that's our ruling. On to the next one. This is from Kevin C.

Hi, Michael and Jordan. I was having a discussion with my fiance today and she suggested I write to you guys about it. That's interesting. Oh, okay. It's very interesting. To and she suggested I write to you guys about it. That's interesting. Oh, okay. It's very interesting. To preface, I don't care for mashed potatoes. Okay.

Growing up, one of the only things my brother would eat as a kid was mashed potatoes. So as a family, we ate mashed potatoes one to two nights a week. We'd usually add salt or butter, but I just don't like mashed potatoes. My parents don't have any black pepper in the house. Weird. Okay. Seems like a in the house. Weird. Okay. Seems like a fixable problem.

Yeah. I tried my best to make plain mashed potatoes interesting and taste like something other than potatoes or butter. I tried several sauces, like ketchup, barbecue sauce, but the one I ended up liking the most is Italian dressing. A little sweet. It was basically turning plain mashed potatoes into herbed potatoes.

I think the real question here is, is it a human rights violation to serve plain mashed potatoes? That's not the question. That is not the question. P.S. My fiance also told me

to tell you guys my go-to snack is dried oats with brown sugar. It's, Gracie, this is a good one. It's basically granola or dried oats with brown sugar. It's Gracie. This is a good one. It's basically granola or oatmeal,

but with fewer steps. I add chia seeds for protein and fiber. How stupid is this? Let's focus on one. And then I'll be honest. That makes more sense than the mashed potatoes. There's really so much to unpack. Let me,

let me say something screamed out at me in the middle of that. As he was naming dressings and ketchup. Have you tried gravy? That's what I was going to say. It's the most obvious. If butter and salt doesn't do it for you, that's the easiest way to transform mashed potatoes. Gravy would be the thing that you add.

Just try gravy. Is it so obvious that he didn't mention it like obviously i tried yeah does he not know did no one tell him i really love that he wrote all that and he said so is it a human rights violation to serve people plain mashed potatoes it's like no you think that that's the question yeah you think that that's what your fiance wanted you to write in about you dummy he probably wrote it all out and was just like there's my question is this a human rights violation like maybe give a little more backstory i want to you know for them italian dressing in mashed potatoes and then he's like it kind of makes them like herbed potatoes boy if

only they made that if only potatoes came like that in some i just don't it's also hard for me to wrap my head around this because I like mashed potatoes. And there's a huge range of mashed potatoes where it's like, I love mashed potatoes. I'm like, these mashed potatoes fucking suck. And so it's like, maybe he's never had good mashed potatoes. Like properly made. Do like the freeze dried stuff only. Oh, he was probably.

Maybe there's not enough like milk. Yep. Maybe it's like, I like them real fluffy. I don't like them like. Either they gotta be Homemade and there's chunks in them Or I want smooth Nothing in between

I like them al dente I like them in the middle There's a lot of range for mashed potatoes I'm gonna divulge But also plain ones My favorite type of mashed potatoes Is the instant mashed potatoes is the instant mashed potatoes it's good

from the pack yeah powder yeah they're what you want those are super smooth they are they're not

you can control I know I know they're not good yeah but they taste good shit they're fucking it's like McDonald's mashed potatoes it is

it's like eating it's like when you want potato chips so you get Pringles and you go this is almost it right but I'll eat one million.

That's how I feel about instant mashed potatoes. They're my favorite. It's like a trash food. I love it. I think there's nothing wrong with that. Thank you. That's from Jordan. I know, right? That's what I'm thinking. If you've got an upset tummy and you can't really

eat some solid food. When I got wisdom teeth pulled, you know I really eat some solid food. When I got wisdom teeth pulled, you know I was eating instant mashed potatoes. I thought you were going to celebrate you got them. When I got wisdom teeth, I was eating instant mashed potatoes every day. That's how he celebrated.

He had to get them put in. To me, I would see more of an instant mashed potato like a negative being nutrition, you know, nutritionally. Or just kind of like, ah, you know, the shit that's in there. Not it doesn't taste good. Yeah. They taste very good.

So, again, it's hard for me to wrap my head around someone not liking mashed potatoes at all. Yeah. But then I got to wonder, like, what kind are you eating? And have you ever put the actual like wet side that was made from mashed potatoes on the mash right have you tried it salad dressing have you tried it correctly not that good and i'm not under that you gotta have gravy i often mostly eat mashed potatoes without gravy yeah i only do it for some reason you slather it everywhere yeah yeah it gets on the potatoes cranberry sauce too so so try maybe maybe try some other start with gravy yeah but also i think we might need to know what kind of taters you're looking at here um but i don't think it is a human rights violation

no i think you can serve people mashed potatoes and that's fine i think you shouldn't serve the mashed potatoes with italian dressing i i would you shouldn't serve them mashed potatoes with Italian dressing. I would. That's wrong. If I ordered just regular mashed potatoes and it came out with the Italian dressing on it. Or ketchup. Yeah. I'd be like, what the fuck? Yeah, this is how they come.

I made them good. This is the way they're good. Best thing to eat. Would you like a handful of dry oats? Yeah. Okay. Now that is also. That's like a whole of dry oats? Yeah. Okay. Now that is also. That's like a whole separate thing. Yeah.

Like describing it, I'm sitting there thinking, and again, this is why I bring it up. That to me seems more like a health person. Like, oh, it's the nutrients and it's good for you and this and that. And maybe that's why they have like an issue with like shitty mashed potatoes or something. I don't know. Can I give you my read on the situation? Let me ask a question. Is there

a wet component to this? Because it sounds like it's dry oats with brown sugar and dry chia seeds. And adds chia seeds. Those are three dry ingredients that are not mixing together in any way. Here's my read.

This guy grew up poor and doesn't know it. Oh. He's eating a lot of mashed potatoes. He's eating dried oatmeal, and his mom went, put some brown sugar on it. I don't know. And so he did that,

and now he's like, well, that's a thing. That's an acquired taste that I have. Kevin, you might have to really consider the status in which you grow up because that's that's, you're eating dried oats, horse style. You

you might have to consider, you got some things to think about, I think is what I'm saying. What if he grew up rich? Then that's, then those are two insane things to eat. That's my headcanon. See, because here's the thing. When he's like, we had to eat mashed potatoes one to two days a week. I think his brother would only eat it.

Right. But if he grew up rich, he's eating whatever. His mom's not going, oh, we have to eat these mashed potatoes. His mom's not doing anything. It's the au pair taking care of them. Oh, you think the au pair's going to be like, I'm not cooking anything else for you. Absolutely. Mom's in Paris.

I make $31,000 a year. She doesn't have time. Mom's in the other room, drunk. She's got another wine headache. Oh, my God. That seems, I didn't even, that last one, though, like, that's like mega Cap'n Crunch cut up your mouth. Yeah. Yeah, right?

Like, it's just so crunchy. Well, you mix it with water. Oh, God. And, like, chia seeds, when they're not in, like like a yogurt or or you know some sort of pudding or something like you can't it's just dry the chewing chomping on chia seeds yeah you cannot is that construction lunch no they wouldn't do construction they don't know what the fuck a chia seed is they go like the chia pet yeah and that's what they think. Where's its hair? Well, you gotta let it grow. Italian

dressing mashed potatoes. That's wild. Italian dressing might be the craziest thing in the whole thing. I'll say this. He's not forcing it on anyone else, so maybe it's not that big a deal. His question is people are forcing regular mashed potatoes on people. He's wrong about that. But I do think

you gotta try some other stuff. You might find something better like gravy. Yeah, try gravy and if gravy doesn't work don't eat mashed potatoes. Just avoid them. Honestly, yeah.

Because that's what you're doing isn't right. It would be better not to eat them. Just eat something else. Your mother isn't feeding your brother twice a week anymore, right? Yeah. You don't have to eat

mashed potatoes anymore. Stop eating mashed potatoes. It seems like you don't like them. Don't put dressing in it. Yep. So, I don't know. It seems like you don't like them. Don't address it. Yep. So, I don't know. It seems like don't do that. You freak.

Why did he think that serving people mashed potatoes is that? Yeah, human rights violation. That's a staple. Right? What's your favorite side with mashed potatoes? My favorite side with mashed potatoes? Steak. That's a main. Like an additional side? Yeah. Like asparagus? Because you with mashed potatoes? Steak. That's a main.

Like an additional side? Yeah. Like asparagus? Because you got mashed potatoes, you get either. My favorite is either. You're saying if you have like a steak with mashed potatoes, what's your one more side? I don't want either corn or peas because you can, you know, trip them all into mashed potatoes. Could do a corn.

That's the best level of mashed potato when it's all like goopy and then you just roll it through like the corn and you're like, gotcha, fuckers. Get some other stuff. Yeah, they're just like, help. It's like a net. It's a mashed potato net. It's very...

I used to do that as a kid. It's a very Michael way of eating. Oh, yeah. Just put it all together. Yeah. I mean, if you think about it, what it is is,

as a child, I was future seeing the KFC bowl because that's what it is. That's what it is, yeah. It's just like... Wow, you just bent it a little popcorn chicken in there too. You got all that shit on there. future seeing the KFC bowl. Because that's what it is. It's just like mashed potatoes. A little popcorn chicken

in there too. And you know what else goes on it? Gravy. Gravy. I think the ruling is that have gravy. What if you take a KFC bowl basically what it is, you know, mixed up or whatever, and you put a stick in it you turn it upside down and you eat it like a cotton candy.

Wow! If you can harden it to a level. Yeah, you chomp it like a caramel apple. I'll be honest, I don't think Kevin C is going to like it. Okay, then can I suggest that the other part of the ruling would be add some hot water to your oats mix and make it oatmeal? Yeah, I would get the extra step. Yeah. Just one more. Because he I would get the extra step. Yeah. Just one more.

Yeah. Or like a yogurt or something. He's like, this is like trail mix. No, it's like oatmeal. This is also fucked up because it's like the last guy where like,

get that water out of there. Yeah. Give it to this guy. Give it to this guy. Take a cup of water and give it to Kevin. Hey, cookie water? Give it to oatmeal guy.

All right. And that's our ruling. Good ruling. All right, here we go. Here's another one. Remember, these have been Gracie's choice. Oh. Dear Honorable Bug King Judges and Monkey.

Nice. This isn't really an I eat weird food one, but food related nonetheless. My girlfriend flushes unwanted food down the toilet. What the fuck? Okay, come on. What the fuck? What are we doing? What are we doing?

Oh, my God. Oh, it gets better. Oh, my God. She only does this with soft foods, i.e. pasta, mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, etc. Pasta? P etc. Pasta? Pasta? So it doesn't clog the pipes. Pasta? Also, we rent, so

who cares? Oh, jeez. I think it's really smart and now I do it too. What? No! What? No litigation. what no litigation if this is in fact a food crime then we submit ourselves to the full penalty of food law

thank you for your service Kenan and Azia also PS fuck West Hills touchdown foothillers I don't know what the fuck whoa Jesus I don't know what that means but you said it A foothill ranch I think is a different I think it's a school out there

I assume it's foothill The school I went to? Fuck him Anyway I just got Dunked on by Someone who Flushes food down the toilet In a non-emergency situation Your booze means nothing I know you flush food down the toilet. Yeah. In a non-emergency situation. Your booze mean nothing.

I know you flush food down the toilet. Do you think it's like the scene in Goodfellas where Karen's flushing the Coke? Karen! No! We needed that! And they're just flushing mashed potatoes? No, because they're both going,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! I'll get more. I'll see what we have in the fridge. Yeah, we rent this place. Keep flushing. That means we don't share a plumbing system. Yeah. Everyone has their own, right?

What the fuck? I don't even know. I don't even know what, like, what do you want? Yeah, that's good. Like, what's your, like, what kind of approval do you want? Not only is it, I mean, is it a food crime? Yeah, that's good. What kind of approval do you want? Not only is it a food crime because it's unused food, but it might be a legal crime of some sort. It's definitely heinous.

Yeah. Super heinous. Okay, that's a good one. That is a good one. That's a good one. Take a picture of that one. Plumbers hate this one food hack. Plumbers hate this one. Tweeting these pictures out is gonna be so good where it says cookie dunk at night

sailors delight plumbers hate this food anyone any portness here's the thing i'm i can't i can't, off the top of my head, imagine a scenario where it's like, I got no option. It's not that bad. But if it were the case, that wouldn't be crazy to me. If you put me in a scenario where it's like, I had to get my hands sticky for a day, or I had to flush this non-offensive food down the toilet, it'd be like, okay. You're doing it once though. But you're talking about doing it regularly, finding out about it, and then joining in. Right.

And it just seems like, even if it works, it's like saying, yeah, we just throw our shit out the window. Like, I shit in a bag, and I throw it out the window. And we never get in trouble. So we should do that, right? So I imagine- Just because it works, even if it doesn't backfire, it's insane. I imagine the garbage disposal is not an option in this house.

Oh, you mean the toilet? Nobody wants to deal with the... She didn't mention, they chew the food as they spit it down. Oh, good, good, good. And one of them goes... How do you think... How do you think this...

Also, these people went to Grosmont High School. That fucking sucks. How do you think the subject was broached? Because one learned about it from the other. Do you think she walked in with a plate of pasta? Where are you going with that pasta? He kept leaving the kitchen with food. Where are you going?

The bathroom. They come back with an empty plate. Flush. They come back with an empty plate. Did you eat that in the bathroom? God, no. I flushed it. No, I flushed it. What? Oh They come back with an empty plate. Did you eat that in the bathroom? God, no. I flushed it. No, I flushed it.

What? Oh, my God. That's genius. What else can we flush? Immediately on board. And you know what's crazy, too? You know what's crazy? He said that was his fiance, right?

Yeah. It's his girlfriend. Yeah, my girlfriend. Oh, the last one was fiance. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Because I was, let's just pretend it was.

Yeah. I missed the joke, but I brought it up now. I was going to say when he found out he said oh my god will you marry me let's flush food down the drain for everything here's the thing

if they have kids they're going to teach this to their children they're both on board they don't even need to teach it they're just going to absorb it

yeah they're going to think that's the way to do it that's crazy Armando's here early because we're going to do another segment with him here in a second. But I just wanted to let you know the thing we're talking about is that somebody emailed us and said that my girlfriend flushes unwanted food down the toilet. She only does this with soft food so it doesn't clog up the pipes.

Like spaghetti. But now he does it too. I don't like the insinuation that spaghetti is a soft food. That's what they said. Pasta, mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, etc. Those are soft food. Those are what I used to do as a kid, which is non-chewies. That's where you get a big mouthful, and then you just go.

And then sometimes the bite fights back. Yeah, but it feels a little good. Like a toilet. I have realized that my eating style was a toilet as a child. Why do they flush it down the toilet? It's okay, though. Don't worry. They live in an apartment.

Yeah, they said. We rent, so who cares? I think it's really smart, and now I do it, too. That rocks, honestly. This is... I just don't think this behavior can go on like forever though. Something's going to happen. Eventually.

They're going to be on the news. Yeah. Eventually this is going to catch up to them in one way or another. Did you guys ever watch a thousand ways to die? I've seen. Was this one of them? I will never forget it. I was maybe six years old.

There's an episode. A woman dies because she flushes too much food down her toilet. Clogged her drains and the fumes killed her. That's true. That can happen. So I'm fearful for their lives. Whoa. I'm glad you almost

didn't mention that. Yeah. We almost got away without letting him know they might die. I'm glad that she waited until the very end. Yeah.

Oh, we just, we hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer, hammer. You were the only person that said it was cool. You came in and you said, hell yeah. I don't know what else to say.

Nick is reminding us this comes out in three weeks. They might already be done for. Well, by the time you hear this, you're dead. Just imagine this airing to an empty apartment with their dead bodies on the floor. Oh, my God. They did it. Yeah. Just imagine the opening scene of Midsommar.

Face Jam's 15-minute ad is playing in the background. Oh, man. So what's the ruling on flushing your food? I think you should stop. You should definitely stop and don't tell anyone. And don't pass this on. Yeah. End the cycle.

And also change your name and don't let anyone know you emailed a podcast about it. You also might want to move before people start finding out. You're going to be dying in other parts. Move now before it's a bigger problem and you can't get out. I guess we're serial killers by accident. Oops. Too many eggs. Eggs.

You smell eggs? That's just sulfur. I've been flushing them for work. It smells like eggs. All right. Stop it. That's a ruling. Yeah, that's a ruling.

Not even close to doing five. Good choices today, Gracie. Really, really good choices. Oh, we have two more and we don't have time. Way to go, Gracie. That was great. Great choices. That was great.

Those were three real good ones. Y'all missed two good ones. And you know what? We'll get back to them in six to eight months. Hey, thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly. Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Gem next week. That's right, next week. I think we're going to Wendy's.

Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want. Goodbye.