100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Food Court - Cat Trilogy Ender

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Order in the court, the Food Court. Our Hero Judges are back with new cases and they have a special guest prosecutor: Former Intern Cat. Listen to these cases and judge for yourself but also your opinion doesn't matter and what the judges say is final so you're welcome. Sponsored by HelloFresh http://hellofresh.com/facejam50 and use code facejam50 ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/facejam and Paypal http://joinhoney.com/facejam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen and it probably does. I'm your host, Jordan Sweers, alongside my co-host, Michael Jones. Michael. Yep, food court. Ah! Food court! So I was pointing out, I don't know if he did it intentionally or not, but it looks like the timer has two little ears. Look at the bunny ears.

Sticking out. It's very cute. It's cute. I thought he was doing a thing. I'm trying to be serious because it's food court. Yeah. Hey. And these are true.

Don't let him in. Don't let him in. Shut the window. Why does this guy keep walking? I don't know. He could be doing this. Instead, we got Cat three times in the Cat Trilogy. Yeah.

The Cat Trilogy. It'd be weird if Cat wasn't in the Cat Trilogy and Armando was in the Cat Trilogy. Yeah, it'd be really weird. It'd be recast. Why is Nick wasting his time? Why is Nick wasting his time? Bro. Nick, what did he say? No.

What? Why don't you just say it? Do one or the other, but also the first one, no one ever thinks cigarettes. That was fucking great. Hey. Anybody got a cigarette?

I would like some tobacco, please. Well, it's food court day. Food court! Our honorable hero judges are here to rule on some stuff and Nick is the court bailiff and I don't have

anything to fucking do in this one. And yet you're here talking. We have Supreme Court Justice Kat. What? Supreme Court Justice? Sorry, the Supreme Court just got even more conservative. The majority's tipped.

You libs are fucked. Nick right now is going, oh no, Nick's running away. No, not that Nick, the other going, oh no. Nick's running away. No, not that Nick. The other Nick. Oh no. I didn't know she was conservative. Oh man.

Okay. But our Nick did leave. He's out of here. That's why it's confusing. Kat wants to make sure I'm not. I'm not. It's a joke. You want to get her to speak up.

Waka, waka, waka. It's okay. It's a joke. It's a joke. Do you want to get her to speak up? Waka, waka, waka. It's okay. You live in Austin. It's assumed that you're not. So Kat will be taking over court stenographer duties, and she'll be reading the court cases to you. I just think it'll give it a nice little flair to have someone with some vigor and youthful fingers.

This sucks. She's bringing the magic. I pinched myself with headphones and it really hurt. I was messing with these. I was gonna put them on, but I got pinched somewhere. And now it really hurts. You sure it's not a needle?

No, it pinched me and I feel like I should be bleeding but there's not enough to come out. I just keep spreading the cut. It's getting longer and longer, but nothing's coming out to come out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just keep kinda like spreading the cut and it's just like It's getting longer and longer but nothing's coming out. It's just going And I think that's weird. It's mead.

Yeah, it's only mead coming out. Alright, so how many cases do we have forth today? I think we have, we have five right now. We'll see if we can get through three. Well, here's, you wait until, you wanna go with debatable? These are dunking hammers. Oh man. Well, here's... You wait until... You want to go with debatable? These are Duncan Hammers. Okay. Oh, man.

Shut up. This fucking sucks. So annoyed. This bullshit. So annoyed. This fucking show sucks. In two weeks. I don't know what that means.

All right. It's been 20 minutes and I really forgot. All right, Kat. Go ahead. Okay. False kings and prophets. Excellent. The court held such promise promise i sent you an email

already with a legitimate food debate to settle okay and my prayers went unanswered well all right did you hear the part where we get a hundred of these yeah yeah but they were talking about them yeah oh that's right you didn't consider this one guy oh the main character well i've seen the truth and i know what my once kings desire so fine here's the type that you crave since i was a kid i have been eating this concoction of bolognese ketchup and vanilla wafers concoction like blended together sorry please go ahead i made little sandwiches with the cookies as bread and i loved them guess what i still do do your worst usurpers and uh who's this from your disciple ryan our disciple don't go telling people right don't eat your bolognese vanilla crackers

I want to know what Ryan's like real gripe is like is if this is if this is like this is him lowering the bar

so you picked out we got a little glimpse early on going you didn't get my first submission and you'd think a better show would then now

go get that first submission and tell you we didn't so just they sent in something. What is it? Who knows? I can totally imagine. It's really a Stan situation where it's like, dear M, I keep writing for you straight, Colin.

I eat bowling yanks. It's an Eminem song. That's where the phrase Stan came from. From that song, it popularized it. It was a guy named Stan who was a super big fan of Eminem. He kept writing him and he became more deranged. Writing is something people used to do where they would use a pencil and then mail it.

And then he kidnapped his girlfriend and drove her off a bridge or whatever. And then the end of the song is Eminem being like, hey, sorry, I was busy. And he's writing back to him. Damn, it was you. And then you go. Tears don't go one and one. And I have it all. See? Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- That's what Stan is. Michael passed out. His face is so red.

All his blood came out. All his blood came out. Oh, my God. He's taking a knee. Like someone's playing the National Anthem. Hey, Stan. You sound so mad. Why?

I also like it's the one time Eminem, especially early Eminem, where it's like, I'll kill the world. And it's just like a nice guy. Hey, whatem, where it's like, I'll kill the world. It's just like a nice guy. Hey, what's up, man? Hey, I love you. Stay nice, man. We're bros. I am very concerned about your mental health. As an advocate for mental health, me, Eminem, says you should get some help.

That's an awfully hot coffee pot. Great, man. Oh, good shit. Long career. So, bolognese with vanilla wafers and ketchup. I can't even imagine shit. Long career. So, bolognese with vanilla wafers and ketchup. I can't even imagine this. No good. I can't even picture it. Picture it. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes. He's got the crackers. And then, but here's the thing. No, don't do it. Sorry, I had it over my eyes. To me, the bolognese is like the pasta, right? Yeah. But is he doing it with the pasta? Or is he doing...

How are you making sandwiches? I think he's taking the vanilla wafer, ketchup, pasta piece, cookie on top. I agree. I think that's it. They never explained it.

Have you ever been in, you know, in elementary school? I know all about it. He went there eight years. I've learned so fucking much twice. There's that exercise where it's like, write the instructions of how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And it's always like, you put the peanut butter on the bread and then then the teacher's reading it and just puts the whole loaf on the jar. Yep.

These people need to explain what they're doing instead of just telling me the ingredients, because I cannot comprehend. Bolognese is a sauce? That's what I thought. So it's... It's a meat sauce. So why is he doing it with ketchup?

Again, how is he making a sandwich? Do you think he's taking the meats? Oh, he's taking the vanilla wafer and then probably putting the meat sauce in it and then ketchup on top and then another. Oh, what the fuck? What's wrong with you, Ryan? What are you doing? Why did he wait that long to tell us about the bolognese? I just assumed you knew what you were

talking about I thought I don't know I thought it was just I thought it was the kind of pasta no it's the like pasta sauce usually right I mean

I'm no expert but that's what I thought that's what the show's for yeah I was afraid of being wrong and that was my mistake no no no did you see

did you see how confident he was in being wrong you have no fear of that you saw Jordan I tried to stop him and he swept us up January 6th style. I put you in the back of my car. I wrote to Eminem, I put you in the back of my car

and I'm off the bridge. Damn, it was evil. I found Ryan's other submission. I wouldn't say it's better. Oh, hammer. Get him. Duncan Hammer, let's go. Oh, hammer. Get him. Dunk and hammer. Let's go. Oh, kings of bugs.

My friend Tim is an idiot. He thinks that the only good Oreo is the plain classic Oreo. While this is a good option, the other flavors have a place in the market. He vehemently denies this. This is not a good one. And it's causing strain on our friendship. Also, if you side with me, he'll give me $20. That's why he followed up months later.

I mean, also, we're definitely not siding with you. I need the $20. But also, is that it? That's it. He didn't even list any of the other fucking Oreos. Nope. What?

There's plenty to choose from. Name's zero. Yep. Show your work. Show your goddamn work, see? Exactly. Again, elementary stuff. That's why we got Kat here, to just blast people Show your work. Show your goddamn work. Show your work, see? Exactly. Again, elementary stuff. You just got blasted.

That's why we got Kat here, to just blast people on Food Court. Dunk and hammer. Bro, you thought we were harsh on Food Court? Bro, did you hear what Kat said? It was crazy. She obliterated that guy. She disintegrated. News headline,

epic fucking own on Face Jam. Commenter is obliterated to pieces by Kat in third part of Kat Trilogy. A long headline. The Kat Trilogy got off to a... The end of the Kat Trilogy got off to a bang. You will not believe what the email said next. Well, Ryan, I think you just got pwned by Kat. Yeah.

I also, I'm not going to discount the other flavors. I was honestly ready to debate and then you listed none. And I can't care to come up with them for you, but I was going to say the original is the best. Now, I'm not saying the other ones don't deserve a place, but again, they didn't deserve enough of a place for you to put them in your email. So that's

up to you. In a way, you made Tim's argument for him. You made Tim's argument for him. You should give Tim $20. You should give him 20 hugs. Is that what we rule? Yes. I rule 20 hugs. You owe Tim $20.

I say hugs. Okay. I say 10 each. 10 each. There you go. Split the difference. $10 and 10 hugs. That's good.

Great compromise. Yeah. That's what the judges do. That's what we do. Why did you join in? I didn't. I was not. You were very much joining in.

He was facilitating. I would never join in. It was not his I was... You were very much joining it. He was facilitating. It was not his ruling, but he did facilitate. There you go. Alright. Good gavel. Why don't we have it, by the way? Oh, yeah. You couldn't find it? Did he give it to you? No, no. It's supposed to be over there. Tony's at, like, the mouse hut

or something. What the fuck does that mean? A mouse boat. A mouse boat? He's on, like, a... You changed the second word and made he stealing footprints? Yeah. Yeah. I'm the idea of sending Tony in somewhere. He's on a mouse hunt.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. The movie. I like the idea of sending... I'm sorry. He's watching Mouse Hunt. I'm sorry. I mean, they couldn't get him.

But then at the end, they never did get him. I like the idea of dressing Tony up and sending him in espionage style. Oh, that's pretty good. And like stealing blueprints for something we're not going to use. But not like clothed designs. No.

Like a new rocket. From the mouse? If someone off the radar is building them, it's definitely the mouse. You don't think they got... No, no, you're right. Rocket sockets? No, no, I... Okay, well, here's definitely the mouse. You don't think they got... No, no, you're right. Rocket sockets? No, no, I... Okay, well, here's the next one.

Cat? Cat? This is Parenting Food Hacks or Desperate Food Crimes. Okay. Honorable Food Court, I present to you today the following argument as debated between myself and my fiancé. Now remember, these are food hacks is what he parents during these times of financial duress in order to appease their three screaming, insatiable children. Now, remember, these are food hacks is what he's saying. All right.

I feel like he just explained how they're not food hacks. Yes. No, I agree. There's nothing wrong with times is tough, but don't call it a food hack. No, no, no. But he did. So we have to rule on it. These are food hacks. He's really incriminating himself.

Yes, he is. He also said that because it was for children, that's the reason behind the names. So recipe number one is called Mush Mush. Okay. I'll be honest. It's for children and me. Yeah. I was going to say, I'll be honest.

I'm on board. When I read this email, I went, this one's for Michael. So it says, first quote, oh no, it's Friday morning and we are out of cereal for the kids' breakfast. What are we going to do? You do, I got this. You do Uncrustables. Okay.

Strawberry or grape. Okay. So that's a great idea. But here's what he said. It's a grape idea. Oh, okay. He said, place two full graham crackers, cinnamon sugar is the best, in a cereal bowl, mash it with a spoon, then add milk. He said, my sisters and I are split on the duration

of milk soaking for optimal texture. Gross! He said, but I tend to prefer a wallpaper paste consistency. What the fuck? Alright, well, here we go. Hang on! Hang on!

No, I know there's more. When, in your defense, about food crimes, you have to use the words wallpaper paste. You have lost. You have already lost. That's also the same consistency as baby shit. Yeah. Wallpaper paste.

For the sake of having fun, I guess we'll hear out the rest. It sounds like you're really having fun. It wasn't for him. Oh, fuck. All right. Recipe number two is called Vulture Guts. It says, my mother baked a lot growing up, especially cakes, so we always seemed to have a Tupperware container in the fridge filled with mixed miscellaneous colors of frosting. Okay.

Either when we ran out of desserts or when the container was getting full, my mother would give us all graham crackers, this time honey honey is the best to dip into the room temperature frosting to eat the graham cracker a lot of graham cracker based food hacks yeah food hacks

hack city dip a cracker in sugar this guy's hacking food dip it in milk until it's wallpaper dip a cracker in some icing food hack

this guy's fucking this guy's seeing the code from the matrix I just like Eric not a judge Going hey check out this case Fucking get him I hate this motherfucker I hate him

Hate him as much as me Go on Then it gets It gets sentimental It says in defense of why I get these cravings For two particular dishes Rather than others from my childhood My parents worked insane hours for low pay when I was growing up,

so the meals I remember would be mostly accurately described as edible mostly. I look forward to your decision, and my fiancé and I both consent to whatever hammering you deem appropriate. Like we're going to hammer his fiancé. She's the only one going, what the fuck are you doing? And he's going, I'm putting all the milk In my graham crackers To make wallpaper Don't touch it

It's not wallpaper yet Up to that point That's not a bad You know Again I don't know if I call it a food hack At best maybe it's a cereal hack Right

I don't have cereal But it's only two graham crackers I'm just saying But like If you want to go Dry graham cracker to It's like Broken up cereal In a bowl with milk.

I'll give you at best a cereal hack. I have done that. I wouldn't call it a food hack. It was already food. Yeah. You're just eating it in a different way. It's hard food hack to do at all. It's a food hack.

Because I feel like in anything hack is, I took this thing that's not a thing and made it a thing. It's hard to make things that aren't food, food. You know? They kind of are, they are not. I took this old water bottle and this used rubber band and turned it into my lunch. My guy turned it into my lunch. The icing one.

The tasty snacks, I mean, I'd nibble some. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've my snack hack. My grandmother used to do homemade icing and then make little icing sandwiches with graham crackers. Yeah. This kind of sounds like that.

I agree. But you called it vulture guts. Yeah. I don't really even understand that. I see mush mush. Is it the vulture's guts or is the vulture eating the guts? It simply says vulture guts. The thing about mush mush too is like, I feel like I like the name, but I don't want to eat mush mush. Mush mush? Is it the vulture's guts? Or is the vulture eating the guts? It simply says vulture guts.

The thing about mush mush too is like, I feel like I like the name, but I don't want to eat mush mush. No. Like, it's too far. Mm-hmm. Yes. You have to let it sit until it's the consistency of mush mush.

Well, a graham cracker's gonna be much drier than cereal, right? Or I think so. A little bit more dry. It's probably gonna be thicker. Most non-liquids are drier than liquids. Yes. Get them.

Get them. Get them. Get them. Well, I mean, a graham cracker and cereal are both dry foods. Oh, you said cereal, not milk. Yeah. Right. Correct.

You just made that part up. You get him. Get him. Get him. I was like, hang on now. I'd say they're equally dry. It's the mead. It's definitely the mead.

I would say graham cracker, I would let soak for like 30 seconds. In milk. Where's the cereal? Cereal I'm going to eat right away. I'm going in there no matter what. You know what? You know what? Because by the end of it, it's going to be too soggy.

I'm taking a bite of graham cracker and a drink of milk. Deconstructed mush mush. I see. Artisan. I see. Artisan. I call it hole hole. As a parent, you gotta come at it and think of it at an angle like, that's just one dirty cup. Like dish wise. That's the least

clean up. The thing about this is I get it for kids. It makes sense because at some point you just go, as long as you fucking eat I don't care. It's fine. Just eat. But you shouldn't want it now our jammer as an adult should he doesn't necessarily need to stop doing this he needs to let go of the sentimentality of it and be like i know it's a food crime i know it's

not a food hack i do this to feel nostalgic If you told your mom that you were still eating mush mush, she would fucking worry, worry about it. Whoa. I don't know. Is everything okay? Are you not making money? Some of these food courts, I don't think so. Because some of these come direct from the parents.

Somebody's mother would be like, because then they would be like, they'd be telling their husband like, I told you mush mush was good. He likes it. He likes mush mush now. He's coming over and making mush mush for my boy boy. Yeah, I don't like

this one anymore. My ruling is, what? That's a good ruling. That's a good... We went a lot further with it, but I think the ruling of what kind of sums it up. I think what they're asking for here is like, is it how to name it? How the term works?

And I guess definitely not a food hack. Uh-huh. Yes, true. Food crime, definitely closer to that. So I guess we side with your fiance. I think it's like a food misdemeanor. We're not going to say stop doing it. Don't force it on her.

Every time you do it, you should take her out to a nice meal. There you go. Wow. Another great compromise. That's compromise. And you'll be ready for marriage as a result. That's all it is. It's just compromise, baby. Next.

You just got some jammers laid. That's what you think. That's what I know. We already married one day. That's what I know. Okay, this says, Greetings, Honorable Judges and Eric. What the fuck?

You're not a judge. And you have no honor. The monkey. Yeah. All right. Today I bring to you your biggest case yet. I have a food creation that I always suggest everyone try when they are hungry, but not hungry enough for a meal. I present to you the cheddar cheese and peanut butter sandwich.

I have been called a madman for this creation, but all visionaries are called madman in their lifetime. No, absolutely not true. Some people are just smart. Uh-huh. I do not hold people's ignorance against them. Okay. I'll roll for you. I do not hold people's ignorance against them. Okay. I'll roll with you.

All right. I will say, go ahead and pull you. Vice versa situation. I will go ahead and pull you down off that high horse real quick. Is Tony back from his mission yet? Can you bring the gavel? I want it. Oh, man. Where was it supposed to be?

In his office? Oh, yeah. Outrageous. Yep. It says, the sandwich is as follows. Two slices of bread. Spread peanut butter of your choice. I prefer chunky on one side.

Then apply slices of extra sharp cheddar cheese on top to cover. Then finish by applying the second slice of bread to the top. It's a sandwich. I will say, we really hammered Ryan for not describing how to make things. Our last two letters have been very descriptive. Incredibly. And Michael and I have both been You guys mind it both ways

And it helps a lot Can I just say, and this is a personal preference But just because you're going through the art of it I feel like you kind of shun the second piece By doing that, I was surprised With the peanut butter and the cheese on top You put the cheese on the other slice And then you marry the two, because it's more fun that way

You're already going through the whole, it's like peanut butter and jelly You don't put peanut butter on, and then the jelly on You do the two and then you go And then you go, fuck because it's more fun that way. You're already going through the whole, it's like peanut butter and jelly. You don't put peanut butter on and then the jelly on. You do the two and then you go, and then you go, fuck, I put way too much on. It's way too much. It's shooting out. About 40% of it spills out. But that's okay. I just eat it off the table.

I mean, someone does. Is there more? There's a lot more. Oh boy. We don't need a lot more. Does there deserve to be a lot more? Yeah, that's a great question. Does it deserve it?

Edit on the fly. Yeah. Is it cool? I'll just say that it says the bread. This is great. Hang on. This is momentous now because not only is Kat doing the food court, but you are getting an authentic Kat edit.

So you know whatever you wrote and she deemed not important. And skipped over it. That was the best part. It just says that the bread doesn't matter because the flavor of both the cheese and the... Bread is never important in a sandwich, as we all know.

The cheese and the peanut butter is so strong that everything else is weak in comparison. Even the cheese? Even your spirit, you weak mortal. He does have a thing that says though if you were to make it with cinnamon raisin bread, that might impact it.

You just said the bread matters. You just said the bread doesn't matter and then edited yourself. But if you use a different bread, it could matter. You're losing me here. Also, important to note, there's one thing to keep in mind while eating the sandwich. It is a big time mud mouth.

So, have a drink prepared. And, but the thickness of the cheese too, you know. Sharp. Yeah. Sharp. This isn't no fucking Jimmy John's provolone. True. I don't know if this is possible, but it says, I would also like to have some legal precedent

so that when I suggest this sandwich as a nice snack, people will have to at least try it. No. No. No. No. Obviously not. Denied. Who's this from? Rejected. This is from George Pratt. Okay. No. First name, last name. Get him. Well, Pratty.

Oddly hostile. I love it. Attack. duck and hammer we're gonna set the precedent right now if you do eat a weird snack or sandwich or mush mush or whatever you do it's never okay to force someone to try it

stop trying to make other people eat your weird shit that's what makes it worse just eat your little gremlin food by yourself it's like most people That's what makes it worse. Just eat your little gremlin food by yourself. It's like most people, most people, you do your little weirdo sexual shit, your dirty, shameful shit you want no one to know about, and you go, no one can know.

Just do that with the food, and it's fine. But you keep trying to sell people on it. Stop showing people feet and going, you're into this too, right? Yeah, yeah. You like this too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Stop. Keep it to yourself.

Keep it to yourself. I'm kink shaming food. Exactly. Enough. It's deserved. Just eat it. See? Even cats.

Fine. Stop telling everybody you sniff it. Yeah. God. Eat it. You get the mud mouth. Yeah.

You want it? I'll get my own mud mouth. Oh, I put peanut butter and cheese together and you eat it and you just get such a mud mouth You want it I'll get my own mud mouth Put peanut butter and cheese together and you eat it And you just get such a mud mouth Here eat it This is one I feel like though As much as I hate to say it It's so simplistic yet I've never tried it

I feel like I have to I feel like this is one I gotta try I mean it's just peanut butter and cheese It is just peanut butter and cheese And not cinnamon bread. And I, well, maybe. But we won't. We won't.

I am a lover of cheese. I've beaten it. Yeah, I saw you take your shot earlier so you can eat your cheese. Dude, your cheese shot. They put everything in one, actually. It was also, it's T-Dap as well. Oh, wow. So it's got the T-Dap.

Yeah. It's my COVID level five. Uh-huh. Nice. You're on level five? I'm on level five because I keep lying. And they keep giving them to me. So it's got the Tdap. It's my COVID level 5. You're on level 5? I'm on level 5 because I keep lying. And they keep giving them to me. I'm supposed to be on level 3, but I'm on level 5.

I keep fibbing. So it's COVID level 5. And then it also has the... It kills cheese wokeness. Oh, wow. Is that the problem? That's what it is. Woke cheese can't affect my stomach anymore. That's why it's called intolerance. That's what it is.

Yeah, I needed more intolerance and that actually solved the problem. And then also just a little bit, just a little bit, just a little bit of horse steroids. Oh, but only a little bit. But it only works on

horses, so it does nothing to him. Yeah. It's just there for like... He is becoming more equine, but it has nothing to do with it. Yeah, it's there for balance. It's there for placebo. It's fine. Yeah.

He's working out. They call it... Great. Nick wrote nay. Yeah, they call it the Mustang cocktail. Nice. Oh! Pretty good.

I'm feeling more horse-like as the day goes on. Any, so ruling on this thing? Don't make other people try it? Don't make other people try it. I will, though. I'll take the hit. It doesn't sound good. My whole speech was leading up to it.

I like cheese. It doesn't sound good. I need to... Peanut butter and cheese sounds bad. Remind me what he wanted. Peanut butter and cheese. He wants the ruling to make people have to try it. No, that's dumb.

Definitely not that. But was there anything else he wanted? The subject is food court reverse class action suit. I think we might have to sue this guy. I think we're reversing your reversal. And now you're sued by us. Hey, George, you're fucking sued, bro. Yeah, sorry.

Yep. First row versus Wade, now you. You're about to get overturned. Face jam V mm-hmm face jam wins again because when you tell people peanut butter and cheese sandwich you're getting fucking hammered bro oh yeah uh and it helps that we are the court presiding we have time for one more quick one okay sorry i have to end this phone call i'm getting a call that just says political call i I don't know what that means. It hurt about what we were saying. No, I'm doing some cold calls. I'm starting to see.

Oh, you're trying to get some funding? Well, the thing is, Pence is about to throw his name in the ring. So you're trying to see. I'm trying to get him before. I know you're still looking for a running mate. I think Ken Paxton will be available soon. Yeah, no shit.

He might be tied up, actually. Maybe a little busy. He might be getting sued George Pratt. He might be getting sued George Pratt style. But after that, he'll be free. Yep. This is bullshit. I think Greg Abbott thought maybe somewhere and didn't say.

No, he was just kind of like. They're not talking about me, right? I'm slinking down here. Don't look in the bush. Alright, Kat, what you got? Alright, I know that this is pretty weird, but I don't think in the bush. All right, Kat, what you got? All right. I know that this is pretty weird, but I don't think this is weird as other stuff that has been said on Spit and Silly. Okay. Sounds contradictory. We ought to be the judges of that.

Sounds contradictory, by the way, when you say it's weird, but it's not that weird. No. I would put a chicken nugget in my mouth and two to three bites in, I would put some ice in my mouth and chew and eat the abomination. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Go ahead. Keep going.

I'm ready to hammer. It was always a Wendy's chicken nugget with ice from my soda. How are you getting that? What? What? What the fuck? Now, see this? It says I'm 18 years old now, and the last time I did this was probably

at least 10 years ago. Oh no shit, no shit. Relevancy is in question. I know when you're 18, 10 years seems like a long time ago so it's like, oh I haven't done it for 10 years. You neglect the fact that you were 8 years old

so of course you were doing dumb shit. I gotta be honest. I said, would you strike that from the record? I feel like it's a story like, guys, you're not gonna believe this. Here's a story about how I shit my pants. Anyway, it was 20 years ago.

I was 2. Right? Right? What the? Right? What are you talking about? Well One of my kids is six

You just told me a story about when you were eight Like I would take something they've done and submit This is crazy guys First time human here Barely been alive Listen to what I did Is it weird?

I feel like it's weird but not as weird as other things I have to say it does get a little bit like worse he just says that so I was wondering if this would be something that Eric Jordan my favorite achievement hunter or monkey boy would ever consider eating then he says

even though I haven't done it in 10 years I don't plan on trying it ever again so probably don't done it in 10 years, I don't plan on trying it ever again. So probably don't consider it. I love that. This whole email, line to line, is such a zigzag. The email ends with, why did I send this? The only way that email could have gotten better. How do I unsend?

The only way that email could have gotten any better is if at the end it said, P.S. I wrote that 10 years ago and I'm now 28. Oh, man. Okay, I'm definitely not trying it. I keep writing, but you still ain't calling. 10 years of trying to make us eat the nug. I forgot to hit send.

When I eat the peanut butter and cheese, I'll eat it. What? You want me to get Wendy's nuggets for you? It has to be from the soda. It has to be ice from the soda. Not the ice from the what? I was thinking just an ice cube. But where would you get it from if not from the soda?

Does the drink that you get matter then? Okay, I think it's a great question. Does the drink that you get matter? Absolutely it matters. What if you're talking about a Coke versus a Hi- C fruit punch? Yeah, I was going to say Orange Fanta.

Come on now. You need to write back and tell us what the drink is when you were eight. Probably high C fruit punch. If they say it doesn't matter, I'm going to lose it.

But then it might matter because if it's cinnamon bread. It's a drink, you fucking idiot. Come on now. They were eight years old you know we fucking hammered this eight-year-old he's 18

what a successful food court oh Michael's got two things to try now yeah so that he can he can rule and Nick the show used to be we have to decide together but now we've decided that independently we don't have to. I feel like it was pretty I mean, I'll be honest, Jordan, I feel like you're going to end up eating it. I agree.

Just to put that on the table. I feel like what you're saying is not going to be an issue. I know you keep saying Michael, Michael, Michael, but I'm just like, you know how the show works. Unfortunately. The trick is we record like three in a day, and then we wait like six weeks. Eric's gonna forget. Oh, I'm absolutely gonna forget. Kat, Kat,

remind me in like six weeks. He's not gonna... We're gonna come in here to record three spit and sillies. You know what he's gonna do, though? Nick's gonna write it on the board with permanent marker. Oh, yeah. Get a raise. Oh, no. Wet chicken nugget. Peanut butter cheese. And then in six weeks we're gonna be like, what the fuck is this?

Oh, man. Then Kat really will have your job by gonna be like what the fuck is this oh man then Kat really will have your job by that point what the fuck we'll have you on as a guest sometimes do you like Gattys

you're gonna you will you will that's a fucked up BV Superman does he like Gattys he will when he's putting

pizza in his mouth my favorite restaurant was Gattys I wonder do you like Gattys? He will My favorite restaurant was Gattys I wonder Do you like Gattys? You will I got the dessert pizza Gordon got me dessert pizza

When my parents were slaughters Save Gattys What did you say? Alright, alright Get me out of here Do the outro Are you gonna Should I do it again? Do you have anything else you say? All right, all right. Give me out of here. Do the outro. Are you going to, should I do it again?

Do you have anything else to say? No. Nick, do you want to hit the gavel? Did he get it? You didn't go get it. No, he's just pounding his fist on the desk monkey style. He's going to slide in. He couldn't find it? Okay, so now you said it wasn't there.

No, I said I couldn't find it. But Eric kind of made it sound like it wasn't there. No, it's there. But now I'm thinking you couldn't find it because you said I couldn't find it. No, but Eric kind of made it sound like it wasn't there. No, it's there. But now I'm thinking you couldn't find it because you said, I couldn't find it. Hey, thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly. Don't forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week. That's right, next week. Oh, yeah.

Email us, facejampod at roosterteeth.com. I literally said, don't you have something to say? Nope. No. Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want. Even have a cat trilogy. Yay! Thank you, cat.

Thanks, cat. What a weird afternoon for you. If I go find the gavel, can Nick do a pickup and be banging it? Absolutely. Okay. Okay. Goodbye. I need another name.

Oh, boy. That's white.