100% Eat - Spittin Silly - HEB Food Court

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

Our Heroes are back to Spit Silly on something so niche, your mind will be blown. Going to the local grocery store can make you hungry so Our Heroes tackle HEB's food court and rank their offerings so you can know what to get if you're ever in this specific part of Austin doing shopping. Incredibly brave. Watch Truck'd Up NOW https://roosterteeth.com/series/face-jam-s-truck-d-up Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/facejam and Mint Mobile http://mintmobile.com/facejam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At Mila, our partner is the planet. Until June 30th, every Mila dishwasher purchased supports the planting and preservation of Canadian forests through the Mila Forest Initiative. Join us in making an impact today for a better tomorrow. Visit mila.ca to learn more. This is a Rooster Teeth production. Oh, the music's playing. Yeah. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the music's playing.

Yeah. Welcome to Spittin' Silly, the Fortnite podcast where anything can happen, and it probably does. I'm your host, Jordan Swearz, alongside my co-host, Mikey J. How's it going? Sheesh! Whoa, what year is it? 2022. Yeah.

Poggers. What? And sheesh is from this year, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Maybe 21? It might be 21. Yeah. Poggers. What? She's just from this year, isn't it? Yeah, exactly. Maybe 21? It might be 21. Maybe. I think it's tops 2021. You know, in our-

So for you to say what year is it, it's- In our mile a minute society, you know, fast fashion trends are coming and going. Everything just feels- Stops and makes you think, doesn't it? Stops and makes you think, why don't you day drink more? So Nick and I changed that today by day drinking. Some of us went up to the bar and went,

I have things to do later. But you did walk up to the bar, think, and then say, I have stuff to do. And walked away. What I didn't expect is that they would be out of orange juice and the guy would have to leave the bar

attached to the HEB, run down to the orange juice aisle, and then I guess also buy it and come back because it was a long... Self-checkout. It was a long ass wait. Was he holding a receipt when he came back? So we went to HEB. H-E-B. Howard E. Butt. Do you know what that's what it's still for?

I didn't know that for a long time. Yeah. Is it butt or butts? It's butt. Oh, okay. I knew it was a butt. Do you know that's what it's still for? I didn't know that for a long time. Is it butt or butts? It's butt. Oh, okay. I knew it was a butt. So, we went to HEB. They opened this new marketplace now that we're back at the office and everything.

Also, but if you don't know, HEB is a grocery store. It's a big grocery store. We almost got there and then skipped over that. I'm pretty sure HEB is the only thing propping up the state of Texas. I would agree with that. It's a great grocery store. It's really fantastic.

If H-E-B ever went under, the economy would collapse. It's a grocery store of choice. Yeah, for sure. So they opened something called Main Street, but street is spelled S-T-R-E-A-T. So it's one of those that they have small restaurants and eateries inside it. Streeteries. Yeah, and this and yeah,

usually it's kind of in the back. There's like a pizzeria or something that's fairly standard or some sort of like a place that's making chicken

and rotisserie chickens and whatnot. But yeah, this is in the corner of the store that is essentially replicating a small little street

and has a bunch of shops next to each other that are all different like location based eateries. It's like an indie food court kind of thing. Yeah, it's like an indie food court but in the most non-indie way possible. Truly non-independent.

They're trying to make it look that way. Like a small indie Walmart or Amazon. It's like if you went to Disneyland and was like, look at all these little shops that are... Yeah. They're small because we're telling you they're small. And you go, wow, they're so small. I love supporting local businesses.

What's great is it's like a strip mall inside the Hebb and they're all right next to each other and you can order from any of them or all of them simultaneously. It's also... That is great, by the way. Single kiosk. We were looking at it and we were like, let's get one thing from each of these things. And then We were like looking at it and we was like, let's get like one thing

from each of these things. And then I was like, have fun going to each one, Eric. Yep. But there's like one kiosk at each one and that he could just order from everything.

You can cycle between, I think there's five restaurants. Yeah. And you can just put whatever you want in the checkout and then just pay for it. And then wait, that's when,

you know, Nick convinced me to start day drinking while we were waiting. Because there is also a bar over there bar because there's also a bar on the other side of the threshold yeah um truly it's like the dmz and uh but they were out of orange juice so it was a long ass wait and i had to chug the orange juice one interesting thing about hebs is that they're all kind of different and they all kind of depend on where they are located, like what neighborhood they're in.

So ours is like the waspy, bougie one that we went to. Oh, definitely. And there's one that's a little more geared towards like the needs of a college kid at the Hancock Center. The most I've seen are pretty bougie. And then most of the new ones are pretty bougie.

There's one over by my neighborhood that is like, it's like all Mexican food. Oh, really? I have not seen much variety than the H-E-B we just visited. So very like big America. We have everything and more shit. It's like a real food and stuff.

The four places that we got from inside. And we did this because we're back at the office and we're like, oh, this is a place where people keep going over there and keep going over there. Yeah, we can just walk there. Yeah. Again, back to the day drink. Fucking when you're walking back.

You're a fool not to day drink. Yeah. It was really right there. It was crazy. There are four places that we got our food from. Roots Chicken Shack, The Meltery, True Texasq and uh i guess it's kaya takaria so there was also a uh japanese place but yeah that was more like noodle bowls and stuff yeah and couldn't really split that it looked good as shit it did oh yeah dude you walk by and they're cooking

up the fried rice right in front of you yeah it all smells very good. Yeah, and it was good. So we ended up getting four things. We're just going to cut it all up. One from each place, and we're just going to cut it up. I think they're all four sandwiches, right? Yeah. Oh, sorry. There's three sandwiches and then two quesadillas.

Carnitas? Yeah, carnitas, quesadillas. So we got, first of all, something called the- All right, settle down. The Cheese Louise. Whoa. That's from the Meltery. That's from the meltery. That is from the meltery.

This isn't from the chicken shack. No, this is the cheese Louise. This is Gouda Gruyere. It's pronounced how to. Yeah, Eric. Talagio, provolone, and sourdough. Yeah. This thing is a fucking monster.

Oh my God. It's huge. Yeah. I mean, it's one of those. Here's the thing. And it's funny because completely unrelated to this. I was just talking about like gourmet grilled cheese. It's somewhat related to this.

Well, we didn't get any applesauce to dip this in. It's sort of segway, but not really. When I'm talking about it, I don't know when people try to like overdo grilled cheese. To me, the simplicity of grilled cheese is bread, cheese, grill. You're done. That's it. Butter.

You put butter in the pan. That's about it. I'm for the, okay, we're putting lots of different cheeses in it. Yes. That's always great. I feel like you stick to your roots, right? When you start putting bacon and all the other stuff. Macaroni.

It's good, but then you're making a sandwich of some kind. You're not making grilled cheese. I'm nodding vigorously. This is one of those, yo, we got four or five different cheeses in it. Enjoy. Yeah.

I think that's the way to do it. That's what you want out of a grilled cheese. Nick, it ain't going to fly to you. Yeah. Nick's flying. Nick flying in. Okay. Caw, caw. Ohw oh dude we should mention this too you know we talked about the diablo yeah run on a previous spit and silly boy let me tell

you does time make the least amount of sense with this show most of what i do and face jam especially is you film it it comes out in this order and you're good. Spitting silly is wild because we can pre-record it. We can do two or three of them. We can, we can release them out of order. So sometimes it's real hard to tell what the hell's going on, but the Diablo one came out already.

I found out immediately after we ended that one, that not only does the Druid have a bird, it's like a level one spell, right? Like you can summon Ravens. And when Jordan's like, is there like a bird bird? It's like a level one spell. Oh, he starts with a bird? Yeah, he can summon ravens. And when Jordan's like, is there like a bird guy?

I'm like, I don't know. But I also saw him feverishly typing it. And we were ignoring him. He was typing it. He's like, there's a bird, there's a bird. And we didn't see it.

We didn't see it until after. Sorry, I was watching Michael play Diablo. Yeah, I know. I was watching me play Diablo 2. All right. What do you think of the cheese Louise?

Cheesy. Definitely cheesy. Like, like very cheesy. Might be a little too cheesy. There's some cheese that really stands out. That Gouda is... Good.

Thanks. It's not very flavorful, but it's very textureful. And that texture is cheese. I think it's a little bit flavorful. He doesn't need to. He's winning. It's a quarter of a sandwich, bro.

Okay. Is there dairy in this? Gouda cheese, notoriously lactose-free. Now, here's the thing. If you were just to go to the meltery, and you only ordered this, you just ate a quarter of it. Could you do three more quarters and be like, that's a satisfying sandwich?

Yeah. If I was hungry. Yeah, I think so. Now, would you dip it? Like if they had like a tomato biscuits, like would that improve it for sure?

Oh yeah. A hundred percent. I think that, that would be my preferred way to eat. So I will say like, I thought the cheese was flavorful. It was a little thick. I could do with like one less cheese. Yeah. I think, I think it's just, I think like one less cheese say, like, I thought the cheese was flavorful. It was a little thick. I could do with, like, one less cheese.

Yeah, I think it's just a little too much. I think, like, one less cheese. And also, the bread may have been over-toasted or grilled or something. Did you? It was, like, a little. Do you think they toasted it and then they put the cheese on it? Maybe they toasted it and then they made the bread. Maybe that was their mistake.

But pretty good. A lot of references to two weeks ago. So you got to listen to Spitting Silly. As long as we keep it in the same day of show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, yeah. You just, Face Jam doesn't, there's no. Well, you were saying things could be lemons.

Oh. I know. That's a cross-pollination. Bro, it's hard. I think it's more important to keep things here out of Face Jam than it is for Face Jam to not come in here. Right. What kind of dumb ass is listening to this to not come in here right who's what kind of

dumb ass is listening to this and not face jam right you are you're only listening to the 30 minute episodes yeah you're dumb bro i like it's silly i fucking hate i appreciate the download but fuck off okay but also thank you you you should know everything we're talking about in face jam if you don't want to listen to like the extra podcast i get that if you only listen to the extra yo call us a food court because i'm judging you wrong write into us and ask if you're normal yeah i'll say no now preemptively do you want to give it a number rating you want to give it a thumbs up thumbs down what do you how do you want to rate this i don't know i don't think a number yeah number that's a number from me that's a sacred that's a thumbs i'm gonna give it i sacred thing I'm gonna give it a thumbs mid

of course Jordan's here let's see how about next I agree if that were more of a common term it probably is mid category if I had to pick up or down I would say up

it's not bad enough to say don't get it I agree I'm hoping something else is better how about If I had to pick up or down, I would say up. It's not bad enough to say don't get it. I agree. But it's not decent. To me, it's... I'm hoping something else is better. Yeah. How about the True Texas barbecue? Oh, excellent.

We got the sandwich, the brisket sliced. Sliced brisket. Yep. Because I think generally sliced brisket is preferred over chopped. I agree. There is some sort of technique to it. Like, I'm not exactly sure what chopped brisket is. It's like they chop it up and like mix it with barbecue sauce or something.

It's like technically the meaning of chopped. Yeah. But it's cheaper. I.E. it's worse. Right. Every time. Seriously. Like a chopped brisket sandwich is always like a dollar less than a sliced brisket sandwich.

That just sounds, it sounds like pulled pork. It just sounds like, yeah, it's like, and we threw in a like 20% gym mat. So we took a buck off. And you can't tell it's all fucking chopped up. Yeah. There's something. Yeah. There's, there is like, and we threw in a like 20% gym mat. So we took a buck off. And you can't tell it's all fucking chopped up. Yeah, there is legitimately, I'm not sure the exact definition. Don't worry about it. I think there is some like sauce filler.

It's like they cut it. It's like, do you want it sliced or do you want it chopped and cut with sauce? Here you go. Okay, here we go. Looking a little chopped, yeah. Here we go. That's a very yellow pickle. Yeah.

We got some ooze. None of them give us any barbecue sauce no none and it doesn't look very saucy that's kind of egregious it's not saucy at all jordan i will say not having barbecue sauce crazy the brisket pretty fucking good is it there's a little bit of sauce in there pretty good that's a pretty good cut of meat yeah i mean it's texas right like we've talked about even like bad barbecue out here is better than most other i think you're gonna like that this is good if you're looking for if you got an itch you need to scratch this barbecue much better than the last sandwich yeah i was gonna say maybe we rank them. Maybe that's what we're doing here.

Okay. Like, which one would you... Okay. Like, which one would you... Well, this one's winning so far. Yeah, my mouth's full. I don't think I need to ask. This is fucking good. I would go back and get a whole sandwich of this right now.

This is delicious. Good onion. That's a good sandwich. That could only get better with cheese and sauce wow that's good it is so simple too because it's just the chopped brisket with a pickle and an onion that is shockingly good though like that is very moist this is better than most food we eat on this show like By a huge mile. Oh, yeah. This is actually quite delicious. This is pretty quality.

This is some quality food. Again, H-E-B. It's a good store. It is. It really is. They make some quality stuff. They sell good food. This isn't from H-E-B.

This is from Texas Genuine Barbecue or whatever. A mom and pop shop. So this is, and Michael is right, the sliced brisket sandwich regular size, $7.79. Chopped brisket, $6.19. Mm-hmm.

But they also have a large version. It's 11, it's like 12 bucks for the large version. And at that point, it's like, oh, just get two.

But man, I wonder how, I wonder how that large version like stacks. That's gotta be big. Probably a lot of food. Because now you're talking about, it's like, oh, just get two. But man, I wonder how that large version stacks. That's got to be big. Probably a lot of food. Because now you're talking about, now, granted, I know I consumed that grilled cheese.

So this is with an extra quarter of grilled cheese inside me. But you asked, could I eat a whole one of that? And I thought, no problem. This would be a big sandwich. I'm already getting full. That was, I can't imagine the large version. Yeah. Anything bigger than that.

I think the normal version would be quite fine. Again, I would like some cheese, whether like a block or shredded. But other than that, that was an amazing sandwich, actually. I don't think I've ever had brisket from HEB before. That just kind of blew me away. I'm pretty impressed that that came from a grocery store.

That was good, dude. I would go back and get that and then go day drink. Yeah. Maybe the day drinking is making it even better for me. Fuck, I went day drinking first. Pack your swimsuit. It's time to discover the magic of Riviera Maya at the all-sweet, all-inclusive Barcelo Maya Palace.

Jet off from Montreal, Toronto, and other Canadian cities with Transat to discover an ultimate paradise where one reservation unlocks a splash-tastic quintet of resorts. With their stay-at-one, play-at-five vacation, you'll find a two-kilometer white sand beach, variety of pools, world-class spa, and unlimited a la carte dining to ensure unforgettable memories. Book now and transform your family holiday into the adventure of a lifetime. DQ presents how to Officially Start Your Summer Step 1. Head to the perfect spot to kick off the season. DQ!

Step 2. Try the new Summer Blizzard menu. I mean, summer is right there in the name. And Step 3. Dig into flavors like new peanut butter cookie dough party, new picnic peach cobbler, and more. Because with treats like these, every bite feels like you're starting summer off right. But don't wait. These flavors are only around as long as summer is. Make the season official with the new Summer Blizzard menu. Only at DQ.

Happy tastes good. Need a great reason to get up in the morning? Well, what about two? Right now, get a small, organic Fairtrade coffee and a tasty bacon and egg or breakfast sandwich for only $5 at A&W's in Ontario. Okay. Okay, that's a decent looking chicken sandwich. This is

that looks gourmet. Roots Chicken Shack. This is the Big Bird. Yeah, Big Bird. Big Bird is their original chicken sandwich, sweet potato bun, seasoned kale salad, pickles and tomatoes, red onion, herb mayo. And we added cheese. And we added cheese.

We added a slice of pepper jack. Michael saw it and he went, add cheese, add cheese, add cheese. I like pepper jack. Pepper jack is the gourmet chicken cheese. I agree. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pepper jack or Monterey jack. I feel like jack's got to be somewhere.

It's got to be jack. Yeah. It's, yeah, like a chicken breast sandwich is Jack territory for sure. Okay. They also have like duck fat chicken strips. Yeah, wings and chicken strips. Oh, man. That sounds so good.

I wanted to go back. Man, I'm excited to go back to this HEV. Right? Like I'm going to go there for lunch this week. Absolutely. At least one day. That is a big bird. It's a big, I mean, yeah, dude.

And it looks yellow. It looks like big... I mean, yeah, dude. And it looks... It looks... It looks like chicken thigh, maybe? I can't tell. But it doesn't... I don't think it's breast. Yeah, what is this bun? The bun is sweet potato. Oh.

I was like, why is it orange? Big old sweet potato bun. There you go. Now, I will say... Not that I disagree with this decision Because I didn't say anything And I did watch it happen But just for clarity

This is the regular They had a spicy They had a spicy? Crazy But here's the thing Nothing else was spicy And so I feel like this one made sense Maybe that was what Eric was thinking

I don't know We had barbecue We had like quesadillas. I don't know. Maybe that was what Eric was thinking. I don't know. We had barbecue. We had like quesadillas. Like, I get it. We always do spicy, but I was okay with the decision. I'm leaning towards like how you say cheeseburgers are the default. Spicy chicken to me is the default. Really?

See, I didn't get it specifically because I thought you would probably fell. Chicken joke. I thought that you wouldn't be into it. See, I agree. I do think spicy is the default. But I just thought in a category with no spicy foods,

it made more sense to have none than one spicy food and three regular foods. Which is why I ran all this through my head and didn't say anything. But I saw it happen. All right. Nick is nodding and pointing violently. I think we can agree next time, though.

We should go spicy. Okay. All right. Now, next time, should I have said something? No. I'm not asking you. You were the one I kept the secret for. Thanks, man.

Okay. Obviously. Okay. Nick thinks your logic tracks. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. Nick thinks your logic tracks. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. I'm sorry, guys.

If you had come up to me. I'm just apologizing like crazy these days. Discuss your thoughts with me. I would have said we should go spicy. Okay. But, you know. Now I know better for next time. Here's the thing.

So I will say. This is the one place from here that I've eaten. Oh, the chicken place. I had the spicy bird. I had their spicy sandwich. How spicy was it for me? Not much,

but the only thing they really do is that it's a different Mayo. Oh, it's one of those things. And they put like jalapenos or like peppers on it. Isn't that what Popeye's did? They just had a different sauce. That's cheating. It is. And they put like jalapenos or like peppers on it. Isn't that what Popeyes did? They just had a different sauce. Bro, that's cheating. It is.

I agree. I agree. You gotta be upfront about that. If you're gonna make it spicy, make it spicy, but they don't. Right. I call it a chicken sandwich

with spicy mayo, not a spicy chicken sandwich. Come on. Anyway. Yep. So what, okay, so what do you think? I'm getting real though,

like gourmet chicken sandwich vibes from this chicken sandwich. Oh, definitely. It's not bad. Very juicy chicken. Very juicy. Very fried on the outside, juicy on the inside.

It's the perfect kind of chicken because whenever I get like gourmet chicken like this, it's spicy. I'm waiting for it and it's not coming because it's not spicy. But I take a bite and go,

oh, that's good. My nose is running from like phantom spice. Like a Pavlov's dog situation. Yeah. I'm a solid snake. It was the slowest one. And it had,

even when I ordered from there before, it takes a while. Really? Yeah. I think they're like definitely a made to order. Oh, like they really make it. Oh,

they're like really like, it doesn't seem like it would be, but like you try that and you go, I think they like actually made this. It's good, dude. It's a very good cut of chicken. Yeah. It's moist, but like,

it's like structured in that you can tell that there's pieces of it, but the pieces break off easily. Yeah. And it's actually kind of nice. Yeah. Like, it's not just like chicken.

And you're like ripping into it me like i hope i can get some yeah get a clean bite here i mean damn for like real soft for the bun's really good the chicken i think is a chicken thigh it's it's fuck dude that's juicy it's not dry yeah now here's the thing yeah i know i know it's a little lighter than the sandwich i know we have one more that we have to try, but if you're looking at your barbecue or your fried chicken, which one? Right now, it's a toss-up.

I got one and one A, yeah. That's close. I think barbecue might eke it out, but I don't even know. They're both very good. I think they're both definitely better than the grilled cheese. Yeah.

And the grilled, I see, I like the grilled cheese, but again, making a whole meal out of a grilled cheese i love cheese but there's a limit i think there is a limit i think what it is they're pushing it going to a place to get a grilled cheese that is that is right well that cheese that seems that seems like the opposite of the grilled cheese lifestyle of me just like having a lazy sundae and it's like i'm a little hungry but like i'm just like doing anything oh fucking grilled cheese to get out and drive there yeah i would get that brisket sandwich instead i'll go in the soup peddler and get in a soup and a grilled

cheese and that and that's it i'm not yeah don't get choked up i'm not going there for the grilled cheese i agree you're throwing the grilled cheese in there. And then even that, you could grab some bread for later. I was at a bar last week in Austin. No way. Good for you. I kept saying you could do it. So I was at a bar. You guys suck.

I was at a bar and the food truck that was in the bar, like restaurant area, whatever. You drove into the bar? The food truck was called Burrow. And I was with our friend Richard. And I went, Burrow? Yeah. And I went,

oh, cool. We'll get burritos. And we walked up and it's a grilled cheese food truck. Hey, when you've had a few and grilled cheese is right there and you go for it, like you didn't go out of your way for like this grilled cheese. It's there.

Whoa. That is a, When it meets you, it's like... Oh, absolutely. That's what Michael said about grilled cheese lifestyle, where it's like usually eating a grilled cheese is not going anywhere. If I'm somewhere else and I'm drunk and the grilled cheese is also around there,

boy, that's a special kind of food. That's true. It's a special kind of food. I wonder if this grilled cheese would fall into that, though. Yeah. Because it might be a little too much for like a dr of food. Yeah. It definitely falls. I wonder if this grilled cheese would fall into that though. Yeah. Because it might be a little too much for like a drunken stomach. Yeah. I don't really want to eat six different cheeses when I'm getting drunk.

What kind of grilled cheeses was Berto's thing? So they had like a cheese Louise of like their own where it was like a bunch of different cheeses. But we got ones that were like brisket and like chopped sausage and everything but not like big slices like chopped up and thrown in like with the cheese like you were a dog like a dog like like straight up feeding a dog like you were in the kitchen on the floor of the truck give me the fucking slot and he was just throwing you the bits and you were jumping up for it turns out it wasn't a food truck. It was so good. A man fed me dog food. I went to a bar and a man fed me dog food.

I bought Scooby snacks, and they're a real snack for my kids, but they're shaped like bones, and it just looks like I'm feeding them dog food. Oh, no. But they're graham crackers. I love that. Do you do that? Give it to them in public and go, here you go.

I send them to school with their dog food. And I say, if anybody else asks, don't share. Say, this is my dog food. My dad got this special for me. Okay, our last meal. This is from Calle Taqueria. We got the two quesadillas, gringas style. Oh, yeah, that's us.

Two griddled flour tortillas. Flour. Flour. Flour. Flour. Flour. Crispy Oaxaca cheese.

Figo de gallo. I like flour. And we got it. Corn doesn't feel good in my mouth. And then we got with the pork carnitas. Me and Michael

made some decisions and I feel like we did a good job of like nothing really overlapped like the chicken the meat yeah right the the meatless cheese and then yeah like i think we took a stab at something first and it was another brisket yeah we changed it because we're like we don't want that i think it was like a brisket quesadilla it's pretty uh it's hefty. I would say these are probably breakfast taco-sized quesadillas. What do you think, Jordan? Size-wise.

Is this half of one? Yes, that's half of one. This is the greasiest. It comes with two of them. Oh my, this is... Whoa! What the fuck is wrong with yours? Hang on, let me take a picture.

The other one wasn't nearly that greasy. I'd say these are empanada-sized. This is the greasiest fucking thing. Hair small. God damn. Why is the graciest fucking thing. Hair small. God damn. Why is it like that? Okay. There is pico de gallo and a green salsa.

Oh, Nick's going to take the whole thing. All right. Thanks. There's that. He dropped too fast. Hell yeah. As when you said it.

Hell yeah. Hell yeah. All right. That's good. All right. No, good. All right. No, I'm fine. Guys, at this point, I think I maybe should have taken a lactate. There's a lot of cheese in this fucking thing.

It's like I'm eating the grilled cheese all over. Does anyone want a lime? It tastes like the grilled cheese, but in flour instead of bread. And there's bacon. That's exactly what it tastes like. Are you getting a little squirt? You want a little lime? No, I'm fine. Okay. We also have a Pico. I only put what it tastes like. Are you getting a little squirt? You want a little wine? No, I'm fine.

We also have a Pico. I only put the lime into coconut. Shake them both together? That's fucked up. Bro, why the fuck does no goddamn gas station convenience store sell lime juice? They all sell beer. They all sell

lemon juice. How am I going to get my Ronis and no lime juice, bro? And I've used lemon, but I don't know. I'll use it myself, but you look like a fucking straight-up bust if you're showing up to a Halloween party. I'm going to Big Ray's party. You guys know Big Ray. Face chance Big Ray. I'm going to Big Ray's party.

I'm bringing a 24-pack of Corona and no lime juice, and I just felt like a fool. Hey, that green sauce. Is that spicy? That is pretty spicy. Oh, okay. Now I want to try it, fool. Yeah, that green sauce. Is that spicy? The verde is pretty spicy. Now I want to try it though. Is it that sauce? Woo! Jordan, did you try some?

Is it blasting you? It blasts me a little bit. I just go in with zero expectation so it really got me. Oh, that's a tickler. It's still fuming on the side of my tongue that's a tongue tickler oh that's dancing they're not messing around oh that's a crackly one it's like a firecracker are like you never know what you're gonna get yeah they're either the

spiciest thing you've ever had or it's like oh this is just a nice little flavor because that's what they're back home salsa verde was the mild one and then out here it's like, oh, this is just a nice little flavor. Because that's what they're, back home, salsa verde was the mild one. And then out here, it's like the nuclear hot option. Dude, the thing about spice that always blows my mind isn't the level of spice. It's how it works, right? Like, sometimes it's like, wow, this is so spicy. Oh, it's gone. And then sometimes it's hot for eight minutes.

Right. This one's dancing a little bit. It's still on my tongue. Oh, I immediately, I like directly consumed it. So my entire tongue, like I can feel the shape of my tongue. Oh, I immediately, I like directly consumed it. So my entire tongue, like I can, I can feel the shape of my tongue. Like I'm daredevil. I think I closed my eyes and I'm sonaring. I've never known exactly the shape of my tongue until this moment.

3D map your tongue. Yeah, I can, because I can feel every part of it right now. And it's not super hot though. It's just tingly hot. It's just tingly. That's interesting. Yeah. That's interesting.

That like if you're dead and want to feel something, you should try that. Just to go, oh right. And then you go back to being dead and fearless. So what do you think about... This would have made Johnny Cash feel something. Whoa. He hurt himself. He'd walk this line. What do you think of that? Because everyone had about half of one.

So you would get that three more times. A lot. One order comes with two? Yeah. We ordered one order of everything. So everything got cut in a quarter. For a quesadilla, boy, that was meat fucking filled. That was brimming.

Jesus. That's brimming with it. The thing is thick. I think one was like enough, but maybe it's because this is the last thing I'm eating. Two's a lot, man. No, two of those are are a lot i would say of the four things we ordered that one's probably the heftiest that's probably the heftiest with the chicken and sec yeah i would say that i i thought the chicken was pretty light it's got a lot of toppings but like i mean i guess but like it's still a big piece it's like it was a light a light breast, but it's still, it's still pretty thick.

You got to consider you only ate a quarter of that. You got three more quarters of that. That's, that's quite a bit of chicken. I'd say like it was thick, but it was greasy, which is going to make you not feel great. I mean, that was that the thing with this and the cheese is they're both going to be greasier and they're both going to be like a worst grease. Cause there's no real food part of it. Or there's a little bit in this one.

There's nothing. The chicken while about the same size is a real food. So it feels lighter. Cause it's not just like by-product, you know, just eating processed cheese. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Um, that said though, all four enjoyable. I wouldn't like scoff at any of these. Um, but I certainly my rankings are very clear. Oh yeah? Yeah I think

I think I have a clear picture too. I have no question which I liked in what order. I think that was a good way to do it to be like now you know where you want to go. Instead of having to go four separate times to figure out what's good and what isn't and you have a wasted trip. And I will say those were all very good portions. the fact that we cut them into quarters and none of

them were like really tiny it's a if anything i would say it probably leans towards the larger side they're not huge like you said there was a bigger version of the brisket sandwich but i would say for standard they're they're pretty they're all pretty decent-sized meals. That would certainly satisfy a normal human. I think it would be a heavy lunch and a good dinner. I feel like that's how they are sized. I feel like if you got these for lunch, you'd be like, you don't need any size. Seems like a good thing to split with someone.

It's like you went shopping. And then on the way out, like Costco style, you wanted to grab food. $1.50 pizza. Yeah, just get one of these and cut it in half. I didn't even think about that, Jordan. Nothing came with sides. Yeah. That was all just the thing you ordered was the thing you got. Nothing came with sides. Which is good. Yeah. Oh, you don't need. Because it just doesn't add to that. Yeah. I also think that it gives you the ability to mix and match where if you went with like the chicken sandwich, you could go like. Nick's freaking out again over there. Wave his arms around. Nick started thinking about getting a chicken sandwich and grilled cheese. He's going back on his way out. Okay, so what do you think? Jordan, what's your number one?

I'm ranking. I'm going... Oh, it's switching in my head back and forth. I'm going to go chicken. Chicken's number one. Chicken number one. Wow. Okay.

BBQ sandwich number two. I just feel like the chicken had a little bit more going on. Yeah. Okay. I feel like a little more gourmet, but that brisket sandwich was very good. Quesadilla boy going three and grilled cheese number four. Yeah, and I don't think the grilled cheese is necessarily bad.

No, not at all. It's just, it's a grilled cheese going up against other stuff. It's hard, dude. We got the most plain version. Like, we got like the- It's true. Bomb standard. Well because they because again we just tried to get like the least

you know like like stylized like specialized version. And so they had grilled cheese sandwiches with the meats and stuff. It's like judging a pizza by its cheese. Exactly.

Like this is what you do. Exactly. I'm not surprised at all by your ranking. I would say for me it's brisket number one wow um he's wearing a barbecue shirt but i will say chicken two uh definitely uh quesadilla carnita three and

then cheese okay i just think like for me man growing up without brisket my entire life yeah but being like a huge fan of steak and fine meats it was like there was this secret meat that was kept for me my whole life yeah and i moved to austin and it's brisket and in 10 11 years later it's still like nope hasn't run out yet so when i get brisket or chicken it's like chicken it's a good chicken but i've eaten chicken my whole life i brisket i've still only had like 10 years of brisket and it was It's like chicken. It's a good chicken, but I've eaten chicken my whole life. I brisket. I've still only had like 10 years of brisket and it was just fucking good. I'm just imagining that

with cheese and sauce and that is a good ass brisket. Yep. But all very good. Yeah. The chicken and the brisket were the clear winners. Oh yeah.

I think for sure. But now we got to try those noodles. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We got to see those noodles. Hey Nick,

what was your number one? Just your number one. Okay. Chicken. He said chicken. Are you also chicken? I think so. I could definitely, but here's the thing.

If I got the chicken, the next time I think I went, I would get the brisket because it would just be like, well, I did that last time and I know this other thing's good. Really could. Those are the two winners. Oh, definitely. But again, if you're like a grilled cheese aficionado, this will probably do it for you.

If I went to grab. If you're a freak, a cheese you if if i went to grab a cheese freak if i went to grab food on my way out i would get the brisket or the chicken sandwich if i was grabbing food on my way in and then i was grocery shopping while eating i would eat the grilled cheese i just feel like that i again but also you would be very weird yeah i could do with i mean like i eat a grilled cheese going up and down the cereal aisle. And then I would be the guy that would go, hey, did you pay for that?

Yeah. I just feel like it could do with one or two less cheeses. Oh, yeah. There was just so much cheese that kind of, they overpowered each other. Yeah.

I do think that if we got one that had other stuff in it, we probably wouldn't have that suggestion. But that's it. We should do the outro now, though, because it's the end of the episode.

Okay, bye. No, you have to there's a whole like written thing oh don't forget to watch don't forget to watch Face Jam trucked up

it's out now is that in my outro we might be on episode three or four right now is that my outro no I was just saying watch it it's on Rooster Teeth

and the first one's on YouTube probably don't forget to listen to Face Jam yeah listen to Face Jam which comes out next week but Michael has more to say don't forget to listen

to Spittin' Silly that's this show Don't forget to listen to Spittin' Silly. That's this show. Thanks for listening to this show, Spittin' Silly. Don't forget to listen to it in two weeks of now, in the next Spittin' Silly. That's right, two weeks from now. Right, but what's in between? Is Joe Pera reading this? Sorry, but also them Face Jams

next week. That's right, next week. Tell a friend Face Jam, the show where we do whatever your friend wants Face Jam to do, except we won't do it. Yeah, you can say it and hope. Yeah.

And we'll shoot you down. Bang, bang. Goodbye. That dog will hunt. Thank you.