100% Eat - Spittin Silly - Tony's Insane Breakfast Treats

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Our Heroes are tackling some limited time foods but not in their usual way. Our friend Tony from Design joins us for a Tony's Treats episode of Spittin Silly where we try the Sunny D Vodka Seltzer, Eggo Waffle Pop Tarts, and Breakfast Cup of Noodle ramen? Oh man. This is a wild one. Enjoy. The monkey sure did. Come find us at RTX where we're drinking (free?) beer at the Rat & Grackle Pub plus we're doing live shows for almost all our podcasts, including this one. www.RTXAustin.com for deets. Sponsored by Katos Koffee http://katoskoffee.com and join the koffee club Factor http://factormeals.com/facejam40 and use code facejam40 and RTX but we already did a thing for that. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Michael, I like your glasses. Thank you. Are you being the bunny man? I don't know what that is. He's being Michael. That's pretty good. He's being him trendsetter self. Oh, they broke. I'm setting the trends. No, they were broken when I had them. They started broken.

I realized that as we were starting, it's just been us talking to each other, and Tony is also here. We haven't done any prep or talk. They just handed me this microphone. There's no instruction. He's sitting in that chair and then it was like, why don't we print this out on paper? Here's the thing. One, there's no they.

It's him. Yeah, I can't believe Michael did that. He asked you here. He did not. It's true. Also, we were talking to Tony about the door. It's also when it's always like, we're ready to start. Let's go. These guys when it's always like, let's go, we're ready, let's go, let's go, these guys want to go, go, go. And then he's like, oh, guys, Tony's here.

Well, this is the show where anything can happen. We all collectively forgot together. Including Tony. Was I not on the intro? Am I not on the text? Well, first of all, he did the intro, so I wouldn't know. But second, no, of course you're not. He wrote it one time. Yeah, I went back and copied and pasted it, I went back and copy and pasted it.

I went back and copied and pasted it. He didn't write shit. Tony, this is Spittin' Silly. We kind of do whatever we want in Spittin' Silly. And what we wanted to do, because we've done other snack things, right? We've done snack attacks. But we've done Tony's Treats is a feature on Face Jam. Yeah.

When we get a treat. Is that Tony? That's Tony from Tony's Treats. They're the same guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. That's just what we call the snack that you give us, which has been a bunch of different things.

A Cracker Jack Pepsi that we used for the soda jerk stream. No, that was gross. Yeah, that whole thing was gross. That was disgusting. They're not all winners. So I guess our question is, what's wrong with you? Yeah, what's up with you and Limited Time Foods? It's more of a

kind of the experience that we have making merch here. We have all this power and we decided to make a switch fork. We decided to make this dumb stuff. I want to reward the people

in the positions of power at these corporations and food eateries that are like, you know what? Cracker Jack Pepsi. Someone pitched it. Someone made a deck.

Someone had to go sit in a meeting. Someone had to okay it. For those listening at home, Tony is standing up with a presentation behind him. He's in Nick's face and he's just pointing. That's such a better answer than I thought we were going to get of going, I bought

this because someone dared to make it. As a designer, you reward. Sometimes it's for the packaging. Sometimes it's for the sheer absurdity of the dumb thing. Do you worry that this just encourages them to continue? I hope so. He likes that.

I think that's what he's driving at. I don't think he's worried, Jordan. I don't think we've reached the peak yet. So we're pushing up. Tony, you're helping them along so they can reach the pinnacle. Jordan consistently says they've gone too far. They've gone too far. Yeah.

the pinnacle. Jordan consistently says they've gone too far. Right. Yeah. And also like I feel like if we stopped doing face jam like all these problems would go away like we're probably keeping the limited food option. Do you know how many people are listening to us right now trying to appease us

in the next dropping of limited items because we love eating all their droppings. Yeah. We love eating their droppings. Yeah. It's our favorite. Also Tony does that on Instagram. You can use the hashtag. You can search the hashtag

TonyTriesStuff and you can look at all the things that Tony has tried. We don't even promote our own social media. I mean, how do we know that when we search Tony Try Stuff that we're not going to get a different Tony? Is there another Tony out there also trying stuff?

I don't know. Just make it clear. Well, there will be now because I can't monopolize a hashtag. I'm telling you what, though. It's add butts to it now. Tony Try Stuff 2 isn't the worst name. It's not the worst name. Tony Try Stuff version 2 underscore final

if you search that hashtag you can find all the stuff that Tony has tried like the fruit quake Mountain Dew you sound like you're reading from a script I am, figgy pudding spam with s'mores Pepsi, how was that? I tried to drop off

did you get the secret figgy pudding spam? oh I have it still what? you're dropping secrets off. Did you get the secret figure-putting spam? Oh, I have it still. What? You're dropping secrets off at Eric's? Secret droppings? Let him at the secrets. Clandestine fake meat.

But most recently, Tony has tried the chicken nuggets from KFC, something we haven't even tried because I don't think they're that, they don't seem that worth it

at all. What does that mean? Of course we gotta try them. I don't know. I also don't think they're limited. Hang on. Okay, I'm gonna back up.

That's a fair argument. Don't ever argue to me I don't think it's worth it. None of this is worth it. Okay? What the fuck is your bar? Wait till you see what we have today. Well, did you really think it was worth it

when you had to bring a microwave into the room we're recording in? Yes. This will be worth it. Hey, you know what? I'm glad he did it instead of saying, it's impossible. It's impossible.

There's no way to boil water in this meal. It's impossible. It can't be done. There's never. Microwave? No way. No way. Did you know we're not allowed to have toasters that are at the office? I'm sure we're not allowed to have a fucking popcorn maker, but I bought one anyway, and I put it in. So, I bet it gets hotter than a fucking toaster. You know, Michael is

a lot like Tony in that way Yes yeah Michael tries stuff Will you look at Michael tries stuff See if somebody has a hashtag I'll get right on it Here's what Tony has brought for us today It's a bunch of stuff

He couldn't even wait It's a grey plastic bag And he saw right through it This is somewhat mysterious Now this is Tony Treat's breakfast edition Let me tell you this gray plastic bag. And he saw right through it. This is somewhat mysterious. This is, now, this is Tony Treat's breakfast edition. Let me tell you this.

I've been getting, I've been getting a lot of messages and credit for this. Because what I used to do back in the day at 636, when I used to live

across the street and we'd go swimming during the middle of the day, I'd make, I called it Riot Juice. I thought it was called Riot Punch. Well, it was whatever street and we'd go swimming during the middle of the day i'd make uh i called it riot juice well it was it was whatever sunny was it was different i changed the word so it's like juicer punch whatever they don't use and it was just i'd buy vanilla vodka and sunny d and then fill it

half with vodka just half like a it was just like a big like iced tea pitcher and i'd fill it half with vodka. Just half like a, it was just like a big iced tea pitcher, and I'd call it the baby. Gavin and I called it the baby. And I'd fill it halfway with vanilla vodka, and then sunny-d until you couldn't taste the vodka anymore. And we'd walk it down to the pool. To make it dangerous. Yeah, we'd walk it down to the pool,

and just pour it into cups and drink and drink for like 40 minutes or whatever, and be like, we're not that fucked up. And then we'd get out of the water and be like, And anyway, so when this came or whatever and be like, we're not that fucked up. And then we get out of the water and be like, and anyway, but so when this came out, people were like, so this sounds good. This sounds bad. I don't like the, I don't like the seltzer part. The Sunny D vodka seltzer.

Where did you find this? I ordered it online because it's, when it originally came out, it was supposed to be like, I think Speck, not Speck. What's the other one? The other liquor store. Total Wine. Total Wine. Yeah. And Walmart was supposed to have first dib think spec not spec what's the other one the other liquor store total wine and walmart was supposed to have first dibs so i began calling them almost daily and none of them had it and you can look up online on the total wine website the closest one was in louisiana and they didn't ship so i found one in california that would ship to me and didn't id me and did they want did you they just said No, I was just surprised.

Surprisingly, this is also how I bought my electric car. This is... If it hasn't set in yet, this is... Tony's level of snack is like Nick with sauce. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like an encyclopedia of knowledge. Would you have driven across state borders?

This makes way more sense than I like weird snacks. Yes. Yeah. It's really kind of clicking. This makes sense. I can see you eating them going, mm, disgusting. So that's the first thing. The next thing. Ooh, Pop-Tarts.

Can I tell you this? I have those in my fucking house. Do you really? I have children. What are they? I only see the heating instructions. They're Frosted Maple Kellogg's Eggo Flavored Pop-Tarts. Yeah.

Kid sees that on the shelf, gotta buy it. Along with 16 boxes of cereal. Two logos next to each other. Whenever you can get those two powerhouse logos of any brand. If it's Kellogg, Eggo, if it's Frosted Flakes and Avatar. When the Avatar logo was on the front of that Frosted Flakes box, do you know how quick I bought it? What Tony is saying sounds like satire, but it isn't. Just so you know, he's serious.

He knows what he's saying is insane, but he's also serious. When you get two brands like Pop-Tarts and Eggo together, it has to be good. I agree. I just want people to know they're not going like, oh, yeah, okay. It's like he's dead serious about this. So it's two powerhouses like that.

You're not wrong. No one's going to argue Pop-Tarts and Eggos aren't powerhouses. Can you picture the two people sitting opposite sides of the table, the Pop-Tart people on one end, the Eggo people on one end, like an episode of Succession. And they're doing like the Arnold Weathers bicep handshake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the end.

That's how you steal the deal. And then this box of this horrible, disgusting-looking thing comes out. I have it in my house. I've never eaten one. That's the end. That's how you steal the deal. And then this box of this horrible, disgusting-looking thing comes out. I have it in my house. I've never eaten one. This is very exciting. And we do have to eat them raw because we have no toaster. No. The microwave is for the last thing. Because there are... Would you call it raw?

Al dente? This is the last thing. Cup of noodle breakfast. yeah i saw maple syrup egg ramen noodles in sauce bro you know what i saw at the store yesterday it's maybe it's existed for a while but fucking breakfast pizza it was in the pizza aisle oh yeah like that but on a pizza it was like sauce nick's nodding his head and giving thumbs up. It's like, want to make a DiGiorno's breakfast pizza at 8am? Like, not really. It's still

a fucking pizza. Like, if I want a pizza, I'll eat a pizza. Don't get me wrong. You're not going to trick me into going, no, look, it's pizza, but it's breakfast pizza. You're eating a fucking pizza at 9 o'clock in the morning. Is it cold or not? Just live with it. So, that's what we have today

to try for Tony's Treats. Let me see this breakfast. Do we bring a utensil for the noodle? We can go get some. So this says artificially flavored as maple syrup,

pancakes, sausage, and egg. Nick, you want to follow the instructions? Are these the little flavor packets

that are just like... I think it's just float. No, I bet you just put the water in and seal it back up. Just the one because we're all just going to try the one. I think that'll be fine. These are not touching your slurp. Oh, don't worry. There's also

a third one. Tony's a psycho. What are we going to do? Tony, have you tried any of this stuff yet? Nick, where are you going? I mean he has water. I mean, here's the thing to be fair, you just handed him the thing and you're like, do what it says. I said, follow the instructions. Right.

You didn't say, follow the instructions and stay in the room. I'm just saying. You're right. It's like in fifth grade when- You didn't read the test all the way to the end. Right, yeah. Or when the teacher says, like, okay, write out ingredients on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I'm just saying. And they're not clear enough. This is also the guy who brought Tony in here then didn't tell him anything or introduce him then started the show then said, hey guys, what are we going to do about Tony? So him giving Nick a poor instruction thing on. I'm not sure. You'd probably seal it back up.

Yeah, I would think so. Like cover it and just put something on top of it. Okay, this has turned from us just trusting Nick to do it to we're doing, we're telling Nick what to do. Stop reading it, Just fucking cover it. You peel it. You pour the water in. It does say remove lid. That's wild. Wow. Good thing he read the instructions.

Breakfast is different. It needs to like... Just so you know. It needs to breathe. Nick in that exchange said, read motherfucker. I don't know. I certainly didn't get picked up on the mic. Literacy.

In the meantime, do you guys want to try the Pop-Tarts, Kellogg's, Eggo, Frosted Maple flavor? I had two fucking Red Bulls already today. I feel like we need a seltzer first. I feel like in case you needed to wash down the Pop-Tart. What if I don't want to wash it down with that?

Here's my other problem. Do we have more water? I don't want to wash it down with that Here's my other problem I don't really understand this This vodka seltzer shit Because ranch water Is the same shit right First of all terrible name Terrible name ranch water Who the fuck wants to drink ranch water

Nobody No but it's really good It's a terrible name I don't understand the whole like I get the alcohol but like No, but it's really good. It's a terrible name. I don't understand the whole, like, I get the alcohol, but, like, the can, but it's vodka. But it's still just this little seltzer, so it's... Yep. If you put vodka in it, it better be fucking me up. Yep.

And this is only a little bit percentage. Yeah, no, this is for little babies who are, you know, just taking it easy. I just don't know. I don't think 4% and vodka drink. It smells like Sunny D. To me, it smells like drinking orange juice after you've brushed your teeth. It smells like

drinking orange juice? Well, I'm not gonna drink after Eric, so. It's so weird. Okay. Why? Go on. It should be... Go ahead. No no i guess they nailed it okay it's so no no no like i i wanted to be like what's wrong with this thing but i'm just remembering that's how sunny d tastes oh it is that tastes like you did the faces with the kombucha girl yeah it was yeah

sunny d guy yeah uh I tasted it and went, there's no way this can't be right. Yeah, it is. It's exactly right. Here's the thing to me, especially as an adult, maybe as a kid but you don't care, as an adult,

even though you tell yourself, right now you're about to say, that's not Sunny D, because you think you know what Sunny D tastes like. Every time you drink Sunny D, you go, dad ain't orange juice. Not like thinking it's orange Sunny D because you think you know what Sunny D tastes like. Yeah. Every time you drink Sunny D you go dad ain't orange juice. Not like thinking it's orange juice you're like but you're like look I know

it's Sunny D not orange juice like I know it's different and then you drink it you go it's way more different than I thought it was. I fucking completely forgot how orange drink this is. I mean like I knew it wasn't orange juice but this is. It's clear. It is clear. That's what I don't like. It reminds me of one of the Sunny D flavored energy drinks we had in that, why is it clear and not orange?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when we had all the- How did they get the juice in there? You came through and tried those with us. Yeah, that one was good. Yeah. I mean, it tasted- It was Sunny D, though.

I mean, it was fine. No juice. It says made with real juice, and how can it be clear if it's been made with real juice? No, that's the vodka. It's made with real juice. Potato juice. Yeah, potato juice. Are you just opposed to it because it's been made with real juice. No, that's the vodka that's made with real juice. Potato juice. Yeah, potato juice. Are you just opposed to it

because it's not vanilla? Like, is your body used to the vanilla? No, I don't know. I just don't. I'm opposed to Sunny D because it's not good. I feel like Sunny D... That's why I kept saying it

because I'm a grown-up now. What was your fake orange juice of choice? Were you a Tang or Five Alive? No, no, I was Sunny D as a kid. I've grown up. I'm just an adult now and it's just sugar water and it sucks. no, I was Sunny D as a kid. I've grown up. I'm just an adult now and it's just sugar water and it sucks. As a kid,

Sunny D all the way. And then I remember one day having it and going, I might be done with this. It's like something that's spoiled. Yes. It's like, I don't know. For example, Capri Sun, love them to this day. I'll suck them down if my kids are drinking Capri Sun. Well, it's because they're not too

sugary. There's just fruit punch. There's always that sharpness you get in the corner of your mouth drinking Sunny D. Sunny D and Tang, they're weird drinks. Also, it smells very much like breakfast all of a sudden. That ramen cooking.

I think I lost Sunny D when they did the color. They did the purple and blue and pink. They kind of mixed it up and stuff. I mean, then Sunny goes out the window at that point. Then it's just D. You guys want to split a Pop-Tart? You guys want to get into these?

Yeah, I guess, yeah. I also point out that you're like, there's no way to hear me. There's a fucking microwave right there. That's just the fucking messiest thing. There you go. That's a bad start. there. That's just the fucking messiest thing. There you go. That's a bad start. Dude, I...

It does not structurally sound... I think I literally own... It just looks... It looks like... Egg-y. It looks fucking disgusting is what it looks like. It's why I've never eaten one. It looks egg-dipped.

Yeah, like an omelette-y. And this wasn't a, I got it, and this is what I use it for. I intentionally own a toaster oven or a toaster basically for bread and Pop-Tarts. There's no other reason to own it. A bagel. Right.

That's it. What else do you use a toaster for? I mean, like... Those three things account for 98% of my toaster. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying. So I'm saying like... Yeah, get them, Tony. You might as well call like a Pop-Tart seller. Like, it's just like... I guess to me, you gotta get into the toast game if you're gonna be like, okay, I got

like a million different breads. Then you're doing whatever. You've identified a hole in the marketplace. Pop-Tart needs to make their own Pop-Tart specific toaster. No. No. You need to fucking make something. That's my point. The fucking toaster market is wide open. Oh, a fourth contender? People will be like, Jesus Christ, it's not a bagel.

It's not a Pop-Tart. It's not bread. I'm buying it. What do you think of this thing, Tony? This is so bland. There's nothing to this. It tastes like a Pop-Tart. Like a nothing Pop-Tart. Yeah, it's weird. The flavored Pop-Tarts that aren't like fruit filling always get a different kind of consistency to them.

It's like a little chewier. It's like thicker. Yeah. More viscous. The fruit flavor is where it's at. If you were to ask me what flavor this Pop-Tart was, I would say regular.

I would never guess. Because it tastes like a Pop-Tart because it's just like the base and then the frosting is sweet and frosting. What gives it away is that texture though. It gives it away

that it's not a fruit one. It looks like somebody spread mustard all over the top of it and it tastes like nothing. Probably on the upside it tastes like what? I don't know what you're saying. No, it doesn't taste like the brown butter one. He was saying brown butter and then said standard.

Is that a standard? Do you mean cinnamon? I gotta be honest. Brown butter? Brown sugar. You're thinking of brown sugar. But didn't he say brown butter? You said brown butter. Brown sugar. You're thinking of brown sugar. But didn't he say brown butter? Brown butter.

Yeah, he did. You're a fucking maniac. All right. Hey, hey, hey, fucking read, okay? Well, it wasn't in front of him. I'm just going to say, though, this doesn't look like or taste what it looks like probably in the positive. Yeah, no. It's a decent. You would expect it to be or taste what it looks like probably in the positive. Yeah, no. It's a decent. You would expect it to be worse. Yeah, to be honest.

And the fact that it's lacking flavor is not a bad thing. I have just real quick, sorry. I have the cup noodle. I pulled it out of the microwave. I just want to get Tony's reaction of seeing it on microphone when I show him what it looks like. Yeah. Sounded like it hurt him.

Are you a cartoon character? That was like half pain to half laugh. I mean, I know it's in my future. It looks like, it looks, it has to be in a mic. It has to be in his popcorn. Oh, no. I mean, we assume

we follow the drill. It looks like food for dogs. It looks like food for dogs. It looks like food for me. Woof, woof. Are these the corn forks? Like the weird... Is it going to melt? Probably.

Be prepared for it at a level of difficulty. Yeah, we have access to the same cutlery, so it'll probably fucking disintegrate. I have a switch fork at my desk for things like this. I have one in my car. It's for cutting. That's why he was asking. No, you're right.

The fork is melted. It's great because it's like... You're not going to be able to pick it. Those are the forks. It's inverted. You're getting re-inverted the other way. Bi, look. It's inverted. The fork is inverted the other way. Biodegrading in my hand. Yeah, and you know what?

We fucking told you it was going to happen. Okay? He literally just asked, and I said, yes, it's going to melt. Why do you keep trying to mix it up? Somebody here doesn't get off his throne enough and use plastic utensils that melt like the rest of us. Yeah. It's food art.

You're making it bend. There's no fork. There definitely is a bent fork. You're going to pull it out and there won't be a fork. You ready to take a bite, Jordan? How? Yeah, with your fork. Let it cool.

I got to be fast. Let it cool and his fork won't melt. If you wait long enough, you'll re-harden and it's going to be good again. It's there, baby. It's there. This is a very weird one. The cup of noodle temperature is two degrees more than necessary to melt the fork. The second you take it out, it gets hard again.

Does it look better after you mixed it? It looks less like breakfast. It looked like gross breakfast to begin with. Look you mixed it? It looks less like breakfast. It looked like gross breakfast to begin with. It did. Look at it now. It just looks like noodle. That's regular. I'll get in there.

It just looks like cup of noodle. I'm the most excited about that of all of this. So the Sunny D, let's go around what you say. Thumbs up, thumbs down. I mean, it's good. I'm just not as a grown man. Nick is eating more Pop-Tarts. Here's the thing.

I'm a kid. Yeah, right. We know he has a kid, right? Did we check on this? Because he's been spinning this fucking web. Yeah, I hadn't thought about that. I'm not sure we've ever climbed up to take a person, to be honest. Yeah, it's like, my kid's home, I swear.

I'm on leave, I swear. Okay, Sunny D vodka seltzer. Sunny D's not very good. But this, if you like Sunny D, that's what it D is not very good but this if you like Sunny D that's what it is they nailed it that's a big thumbs up if that's what you're looking for Jordan what do you think? I say thumbs down

I don't think people should be going out of their way for this if you want something vodka you could just try vodka alright you think that the vodka is the selling point Jordan's saying cut out the middleman, the Sunny D. I don't think the Sunny D helps it at all. Well, it helps people not taste the vodka.

It's a gateway beverage. Yeah, vodka is notoriously tasty. It's for getting day drunk. You know you're going to get day drunk, but you just don't want to detect yourself getting day drunk. Right. And you slam it and slam it until your legs go wobbly.

Your legs and your words go wobbles. But now you can buy it in a can. What do you think of the Sunny D? I'm in. I've ate more at home. So I didn't... I wasn't going to pay shipping for just four cans. He's in too deep. He has to give it a thumbs up. I'm in too deep. Yeah, I can't back out at this point.

Are you going to give it to your kids too? The way Nick's going to give his kids these pop tarts? With bendy straws. If you don't, he will. When FTX went bankrupt, Sam Bankmanfried was just like, I have to say it's a good business. I have all my money in it. Yeah, my hashtag's out there now.

I'm under the watchful eye of Big Bev. Got a brand to protect. Big Bev. Whoa, I didn't know about Big Beverman. So Sunny D Vodka Seltzer, it's a split decision, but it's more of the thumbs up.

Here's the thing. I mean, if you like Sunny D, you'll probably like it. Yeah, it is very orange. I think if you like... It tastes very orange. If you're a grown-up who still drinks Sunny D,

have fun. I think if you like those White Claws and seltzers and stuff, there's nothing that would turn you off from that. Nick is going, ah. It. Have fun. I think if you like those white claws and seltzers and stuff, there's nothing that would turn you off from that. Nick is going, ah. It builds on itself.

The aftertaste really builds. Great. How about the Pop-Tarts-Kellogg's-Ago crossover? Jordan, thumbs up, thumbs down. It's so inoffensive that I guess it's a thumbs up. It could have been worse. I can't go thumbs middle. You could, and I'm surprised you didn't.

And Michael, what do you say? Thumbs up. I don't think it's as inoffensive as Jordan, but it's good. It's not good. It's fine. It's a Pop-Tart. It's literally a Pop-Tart.

It's the worst kind of Pop-Tart you can have. No, I would rather eat that because that is like a blandish regular Pop-Tart you can have. No, I would rather eat that because that is like a blandish regular Pop-Tart. I would much rather have that over some stupid confetti flavor or whatever. I would take that over

just a flavor I don't like. It tastes like, to me, a soggy waffle. I think that's kind of what it is. You ate a Pop-Tart that wasn't toasted. That flavor is still hanging around my mouth and the texture of it is just... It's a soggy waffle.

To me, thumbs up. He gave it a thumbs up though, right? Yeah. Don't question him. Tony, you're not going to make sense. It's been... How many episodes? I'm trying to decide.

It's been a couple of years. It distracts him. Him just giving a thumbs up and then talking about how much he hates it. Definitely makes sense. Hold on, I never said that soggy waffle's bad. I mean, it is, but... It tastes way better than it looks in a box.

I can go home and eat them now. How about you, Tony? Thumbs up, thumbs down? I'm going to reserve judgment until I get one not raw, like until I can toast one. You keep saying raw. There's a word for it. Does it say you can microwave it on? That seems weird.

Do you have to ask the box? People microwave. I don't think I've ever microwaved a popcorn. It is. It's always been on the instructions, but that doesn't mean you should do it. Is it like on a Q-tip where it says don't put in your ear and everyone...

It's for the laziest of motherfuckers. But you don't have 30 seconds to wait for the toast. I don't want to steal... Five seconds. There's no stealing. It's used three seconds. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. All that. There's no stealing. It's just three seconds. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.

All that does is heat it up. It does not toast it. I will say, the consistency still sucks. Toasted is the way to go, but it does make it warm and nice. Yeah. Yeah. You can take them home. I don't want to take them from your children.

Take everything from his children. Nick shouldn't have any of this. Yeah. All right, I'm going to try it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have kids. And now it's time. He's going to eat it. For the cup noodle breakfast.

Jordan, inaugural taste. I'm trying to get a sausage and an egg in there. You're fucking around leaving that fork in there forever. Yeah, you're going crazy. It's going to turn to dust. I'm poking. I'm dabbing. I'm just saying.

What do you mean when you say an egg? What is a unit of egg in that? There's some big chunks here. Nick is swinging a knife. Yeah, I know. Is there egg chunk? Is it a chunk or is it a dollop? How many dollops of egg in there?

Holy shit, he's screaming for joy, dude. This is crazy. Jordan just made... You better give that son of D to wash it down before he takes it all. How does it look? It looks brownish. Your brain still wants it to taste like

regular cup noodle. That's too much, Michael. That's too much. No, if you were hungry and had cup noodle, that's how much you'd eat. Tony's thing was, if you're hungry and you had cup noodle. You should treat this like a regular cup noodle.

Now it's my turn. i should shut up before michael what uh gut reaction it's powerful stuff uh-huh and tony it is so sweet yeah it's sweet in a way a noodle shouldn't nick is fucking chomping at the bit he's's like, okay, so just to be clear, we have one cup. We're doing like a one fork rule. It's kind of like a one dip. Like we take one fork and then pass it on, then use your fork. Tony was eating and Nick was basically like swatting in the air. Like, give me.

And he's also on the floor, which he insisted he'd sit on the floor. Even though Eric told him again and again, there's chairs. He kept going, I'll be on the floor. Great use of your... Your seat fork. Your 90 degree angle fork. It looks like a ski lift. Like a bench.

A chair lift, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Close your fucking eyes. Hey, fuck you. Hey, what you... Hey, you sick fuck. Who do you think you are? What the fuck?

All right, I'm just gonna... Now that everyone's eating it, I'm gonna add to this. I love that. Are you serious? That's delicious. What? That's so good.

You're a maniac. No, no, I'm not kidding. I would buy that and eat that. It's just like cup of noodle and it's sweet. It's so sweet. It's like sausage sweet. Sal sweet. It's like sausage sweet. It's like sausage sweet.

I mean, they're already salty. It's sausage sweet. I absolutely would eat that. 100%. Wow. And Jordan already sort of let us know. It's a cup noodle McGriddle. Yes, it is.

It does say McGriddle-y. What do you think, Tony? Yeah, but McGriddles are good. I mean, I'm not going to argue with you there, Jordan. I'm going to take one of these home because I think what I want to add to it would be a cubed spam or a crispy bacon. If I can get a different texture.

So I don't know what to tell you. Jordan's mad at you for some reason. He wants to know what you think now, not what you're going to make it. You ate the Eggo the same as we did and you refused to rate it. I just listened to an episode before this where you did give to make it. I think it's a good base. You ate the Eggo the same as we did and you refused to rate it. I just listened to an episode before this

where you did give a thumb sideways. Like, I refused to be put in a box. Right. Right. See that tracks? I don't even remember that. I listened to an episode today. But that guy came two seconds ago

and he's like, I couldn't do it in the middle. I bet you could. You already did, apparently. Yeah, you gave a thumb sideways. Jordan being indignant about it is so good. Jordan giving it a thumbs up and then bashing the shit out of it.

And Tony going, he gave a thumbs up, right? It's my favorite part of this so far. I'd give this a thumbs up purely on the packaging. But also, yeah, it's worth, it says limited edition. It won't be around forever. So, like, I could get a couple good breakfasts out of this. Now, let me ask, when you try it with your crispy spam or whatever you're doing bacon or cubed spam will you put it on instagram using the hashtag

uh was it tony tries stuff tony tries stuff will you use that hashtag so the people will know i definitely will yes i'll give it a secondary review his format second thumb His format is great. He's just buzz marketing. He posts pictures of the item. The caption is his excitement about the item and what it is. And then, instead of keeping it in the caption, he replies to his

own posts and the comment is his review. That's just working the algorithm, baby. And then he asks the question at the end to get more engagement. You always get first comment. Don't forget to like and subscribe. And pin this comment. No, I've always insisted

it's an amateur. I never wanted to make it my job. So this is now... Like I said, you've put me under the spotlight. This is what happens sometimes. When you're so good that you can't make it into the NBA, but you're undeniable as a player, you create and one. And so that's what you've done here.

FaceGym is the NBA, and what you've done is that you've created and one. Wow. It's the G League. Yeah. It's the G League. Wait, that's not Andy? No, and one. Yeah.

Yep. Mm-hmm. And one basketball was the coolest thing in 2003. Wait, that's not Andy? No, and one. The number, yeah. And one basketball was the coolest thing in 2003. I have so many shorts I thought said Andy on them. Before 2003, I had and one shorts in 1990. Yeah! That was in high school. I was a JNCOs and baggy shorts guy. Boy, that doesn't surprise me at all.

Can you post a picture of that on your Instagram? Tony tries stuff. Tony tries fashion. Let me tell you, if your meat thing goes well and you're into this breakfast noodle thing, I got another one to throw you. Pretty widely available. It's a breakfast sausage corn dog,

but it's a blueberry muffin instead of a corn dog. What brand should I be? Jimmy Dean's. Jimmy Dean's? Yeah. Jimson Dean. You said it like it was a given. No, I'm saying it like it's a heavy hitter. Jimmy Dean. You know what I mean? That's one of the powerhouses.

One of my kids fucking loves it. I haven't been to the Frozen breakfast aisle in a while. You know what? There's innovations going on. There's innovations in frozen and cold, fully cooked, but you only have to heat up a little bit of food. That's incredible. Three seconds at a time. No, it's like pulled pork.

It's like Jack Daniels branded shit. It's like fully cooked pulled pork, but you put it in the oven for 15 minutes. It's fucking delicious. It's like the perfect medium between it's not shitty frozen food, but I'm not making it myself. And the shelf life, if you don't open it, is like 60 days or some shit. Jesus Christ. It's crazy. Goddamn.

I'm just like, whatever chemicals you're shooting into them, shoot more. Make it good. Make it good in years. We're just scooting closer to MREs. Yeah. Licensed MREs. Not that close. I just got rid good in years. We're just scooting closer to MREs. Yeah. Not that close. I just got rid of a bunch. We're pretty fucking close.

Yeah, this is pretty close. Are you going to haul a microwave out on us? Bro, they wish MREs were that good. Well, this is just the thing where you crack the thing, you put it in water, and then it just makes it really, really hot. Remember the fucking MREs we ate? Yeah. That's better.

Okay? You might not like it, but that's better. Okay. Jordan, do you like this better than MREs? I would say they're equal to each other in my enjoyment. Okay, well, at least it was easy for you to disapprove of that one. The last one took 30 minutes of work. It was also easier to make.

I was worried about bringing too many things. Speaking of the instant, they have the cereal with the powdered milk in it already. Oh, my God. In the cereal aisle, they're shaped exactly like the cup noodle, and you just add water. That sounds vile. Next time. We'll have to leave somewhere to go. I was at the store yesterday

and I saw a Fruity Pebble candy bar. To me, I didn't inspect it very closely. It was just on the little stand as I walked out. I think it was white chocolate that just had on the on the uh the little stand as i walked out um i think it was like white chocolate that just had uh fruity pebbles in it um and i immediately thought of

tony for some reason that sounds like a kit kat thing that they may have done also let me ask you a question 2023 i think we should still be calling it frruity Pebbles. Mmm. They're fruit flavored. I'm just saying. Well, Tony, thank you so much. Seems like it's on the record on my first. What's that? Politically. Don't worry.

There's one every episode. Tony, thank you so much for bringing us some treats for this spit and silly. Colorful Pebbles. It's really. Rainbow pebbles. No, that would make people angry. Oh, yeah. It's... As long as the pebbles are wearing sneakers

and not... No, they have to wear heels, not sneakers. Sorry, that's what I'm upset about. It's crazy that this stuff exists and we don't ever scratch the surface on it. And then you bring us these three heavy hitters that truly were.

My favorite thing ever is now thinking of two brands like this as being a heavy hitter. Powerhouses. These two powerhouses. Because it's completely accurate. Bro, those are good, right? Well, that's the power of the conglomerate where you control so many brands and then you can bring them together. Okay. It needs hot sauce too, Tony, just so you know.

Make sure you try that. I guess we should have said that Tony is like, are you, what's your official job title here? You do stuff? Design director. Yeah. So he's like the, he's a director level and he's doing this. So he's the guy too that when people like stuff and we get all the credit, he makes it. Yeah.

Or you tell someone else to make it. I tell someone else to make it or I make it. If they're not in the room, that's, it's you. Then it's me. The buck stops. Like when you're not here, we make it. There, yeah, yeah. Or you tell someone else to make it. I tell someone else to make it or I make it. If they're not in the room, that's it's you. Then it's me. The buck stops. Like when you're not here, we make it. There's a hierarchy. You walk in and go, shit, Tony's here. He made it. But then you just stop the buck there. I saw some of the

stuff that he's working on for RTX and like the little mascot guys that were doing for RTX and everything. Fucking awesome. Like really, really cool. I thought that was you. I thought you were the little mascot guy. No, that's usually Nick. No, I'm talking about RTX. I thought it was like, come to RTX. Little Eric mascot guy will be here. And you're like, no, no, no.

I'll just be there. Nope, that'll just be me normal style. Normal style. Tony, is there anything you want to plug? No, you've pre-plugged? Yeah, we plugged your Instagram pretty heavily in this episode. We plugged the hashtag.

Is that also the Instagram? Is it Tony underscore Simonetta? Yeah. There's another one ahead of me. You want to spell it? It's like Simon with an etta at the end. There you go. Oh, that's pretty good.

That's a good job. Hey, that's how I remember it. How do you spell swears? C-W. Okay, here's where everyone gets tripped up wrong i e r z because it's like weird do you know it's not like weird weird is spelled yeah weird is spelled that's why is that how you spell weird that's why he got it wrong you were also wrong read and write Did you spell Badour yet? Let's go around the room.

B-A-U-D-O-U-R. O-U-A-S. Is it in a sentence? That's a seasoned spelling bee champ. Thank you so much, Tony, for being here. J-O-N-E-S. Michael, you want to do the outro? Eric didn't give you any prep time.

We got plenty of it. Or tell us, by the way. What? If you felt like you were caught off guard, he also told us about six seconds before we walked in. Hey, thanks for listening to Spittin' Silly. Don't you forget to listen to a new episode of Face Jam next week. You fuck.

That's right, next week. Tell a friend about the show where we do whatever we want. That's this show. That'll be in two weeks. Face Jam is next week, and we have very rigid rules we have to adhere to. Incredibly rigid. We're thinking about unionizing,

but we'll talk about that later. Goodbye.