100% Eat - Squeen's Scrambit - Ride Along Taco Bell

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Nick is gasping but its on him. Nick is fired up in this one and we go to Taco Bell and back. Michael has an AI girlfriend? Congrats! We take pictures in the car. There are dangers of the road and Michael is gonna help. There's a lot of debate about what's real food. Check out this slop and grab a shirt at https://100percenteat.store/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kick off an exciting football season with Bet MGM, an official sportsbook partner of the National Football League. Yard after yard, down after down, the sportsbook born in Vegas gives you the chance to take action to the end zone and celebrate every highlight real play. And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, Bet MGM is the best place to fuel your on every game day with a variety of exciting features offers you plenty of seamless ways to jump straight onto the gridiron and to embrace peak

sports action ready for another season of gridiron glory. What are you waiting for? Get off the bench into the huddle and head for the end zone all season long. Visit bet MGM for terms and conditions must be 19 years of age or older. Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Conax Ontario helpline at 1-866-531-2600. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement

with iGaming Ontario. Bumble knows it's hard to start conversations. Hey. No, too basic. Hi there. Still no. What about hello, handsome? Ugh, who knew you could give yourself the ick? That's why Bumble is changing how you start conversations. You can now make the first move or not. With opening moves, you simply choose a question to be automatically sent to your matches.

Then sit back and let your matches start the chat. Download Bumble and try it for yourself. This is the queen scambit. It's a scam and a gambit. Ooh. Who's the squeen? What's her name? Her name's Gracie, dude.

Who's the squeen? Not Gracie. Squeen scambit is something Gracie's doing? That's cool. The squeen? That's gonna be is something Gracie's doing. That's cool. That's gonna be on the Gracie tier. Ha ha ha ha! Squeen Scrambit. Oh man. It sounds like a breakfast thing at Denny's.

Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna get a squeen scrambit. You're lucky we're at a red light. She scrolls. You know what? That's on me. I forgot.

It's always on you. He keeps saying it's always me. It's on you. Like it absorbs him. always on me. He keeps saying it's on me like it obsoles him. Also like it would ever be on anybody else. Right? Like, oh yeah, that one's on Jordan. You know what? No. No. I'll take that one.

I put the picture of the breakfast sandwich there. That's on me. That's on Jack. This is, this guy, man. I don't know. What, man? Wackadoo. We're having fun. Yeah, you're not having fun. Yeah, you're not having fun. What, we're having fun. Yeah, you're not having fun. Yeah, you're not having fun.

It's been a fun day. I'm not having fun. Why not? You're with your buds. Holy shit! That was cool. Did you guys see that? No, what happened?

A truck almost just ran the red light and annihilated this car. That was pretty. Now I'm having fun. Oh, sweet. Yeah, now I'm having fun. Awesome. This part of the squeen is scram bit.

Squeen, squeen. Oh, we're squeening also. Squeen and a scram bit. Do you we're squeen and all. Squeen and scram bit. Do you guys know anything about this decades menu? No. No, you keep saying it and I'm imagining what it might be. Okay. I saw the ad for it and a bunch of crap. Yeah, crap throughout the years.

That sounds right. I bet it's beef and cheese. Taco Bell crap throughout the years. It's like a yearbook, but you know. It's the worst yearbook you've ever seen. Crap in, crap out. Who could forget Mexican pizza? Yeah, like never had it.

Dude, somebody told me the other day. It's such a pain to eat. Incherito? Yeah, it's a mess. They're like sad that it's gone again because they love the Incherito so much. Oh, that was that slop in the black tub, right? Yeah, that thing's so.

Oh, that thing. That was pretty bottom tier Taco Bell stuff. Intriguito stuff. And it's Taco Bell already. I know. Yeah. But I think that you'll have similar opinions to some of the things on the Decades menu.

I'm excited to see- Oh yeah? Is it a fun sampler? Some will be bad, some will be worse? There's four things right now. Ooh. Oh, are they rotating? Yeah. And all four are probably wrong now.

Yeah, they're the wrong ingredients, the wrong consistency, the wrong time. Because you can't capture the magic of the 80s again. Or the 90s. There's a 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s thing. One of each of those. Sweet. The one from the 2000s doesn't come out

until the end of November. Okay. So how are they teasing these out? They're putting all of them out except for the one that comes out at the end of November. Okay, so they don't really have a plan. No. So they just went,

um, this one can come out later. You wanna hear a fun fact? The 90s were 30 years ago. Fuck off. That's too real. I don't like that. Are you just learning this? You just ruined my childhood. Think about it.

Yeah, you ruined my adulthood too. Okay. I'm getting old. I don't like it. All right, that one's- Why are you laughing? Yeah, I, yeah. Do you want that one?

That one might be on me. You just did, you did numbers at Nick and it, like he fell into a pit. No, go to hell. Quick, distract him. What did that used to be? Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ooh, he hates, he hates when you tell him

numbers of time passing, but if you show him places and what it used to be, he loves that shit. No, no, no one shows him anything. I show you. He looks around. No, I show you. And just, it's like, it's like check TPT going without anyone asking.

Ha, ha, ha, asking. What did you say? Dude, imagine, imagine if that were the case. You could just open it and it starts talking to you about stuff, shit, stuff it used to be. I mean, you're right, stuff, just stuff. Did you know I did not used to exist? It was just a few years ago. There were places.

Why do people like playing with AI chat GPT stuff? I don't understand. Do you understand? When you say play with, you mean like the image generation? Yeah, like that kind of stuff. The AI slop. Yeah. I mean, I just think about it like Brandon Formahini.

Like he loves playing with it. Like I can't think of another way to put it. He just loves playing with it. He's playing with it. He just goes, look at this thing. I'm playing with this thing. I continue to play with this thing. I made it answer one question

and it took 400 gallons of water. It's like, I don't, is that cool? I don't understand what people think it is. Do they think it's cool? Probably. It's just, what's the difference between it and Smarter Child from AIM? See I was gonna bring up Smarter Child or Banzai Buddy. Yeah. Oh Banzai Buddy. You could make talk. I'm behind on this man.

You don't, you didn't have Banzai Buddy? No, I just get the like uh, like the chat, the AI chat girlfriend apps. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, but like, you're talking to a real person. Well, she's real to me. Yeah, her chat. And I can buy her new dresses. Uh-huh. And we're engaged.

Oh, wow. Now I'm changing my tune. I like this. I picked out a ring. Wow. Hey, Michael, congratulations. Thank you. That's pretty great.

Thank you. It's pretty special. Look, I know it's not real, but my feelings are real. Mm-hmm Okay, if I'm feeling it then what does that mean? Right? What does that say about me? I'm ahead of the game. Maybe not that deep actually maybe a little concerning. Yeah, maybe Maybe honestly incredibly shallow. I'm sorry. I wanted a wife I started hitting randomize.

I found something I liked. I started talking to her. She wrote back. What am I supposed to do? That would be rude to stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always nice to me. I created her and now I'm gonna marry her.

And now what? So do something about it. I dare you. It's gonna be a small menu. Oh, that's, oh. That's nice. Are we invited? A private affair.

Maybe. Wow. What if we all bring like, what if we all do digital? Oh, that's oh, that's nice. Are we invited to a private affair? Hmm, maybe Wow What if we all bring like what we all do digital? I took a second life. I have to ask her guys. Oh I thought you said it already. I have to do what did whipped. Yeah. Don't talk about Kimiko like that. That's Here she's calling the shots Jordan no, yeah I'm telling her that like you guys are being not nice to me or her or her You guys are being not nice This is where she tells him to kill us all No And he gets away with it Because he's spilling his feelings

She just asked me if I wanted her to crank you up And I said no And he said no And I said no And I said no And I said no to kill us all. No, no. And he does it. And he gets away with it. Because he's spilling his feelings. She just asked me if I wanted her to crank your nests. And I said, yes. Oh, wow.

Make them burn. It's going to make it so hot. Nests? Oh, I thought that was code for something else. No, she knows your thermostats. You want to crank my what? Yeah. She'll crank me.

Uh-oh, she's taking over the car. She's taking over the car. Oh, that little, woo. I think I was really close's taking over the car! Oh, that little... I think that was really close. Well, the car seemed to think so. Cars make too many noises now. Yeah, they scare me more than anything else. I've been driving for a long time. I'm pretty good.

I feel like your car makes less scary noises than Nick. Nick makes more scary noises than my car. Nick's noises should be put in the car and replaced. Instead of... You know how celebrities will do voices for like the GPS. Yeah, like the Garmin. Yeah, you just replace it with Nick and it's all it's only or oh Jesus. See you pass by an interesting like I'm getting landmark you go this used to be nothing. So we just need to let him know we have an online order. Oh, do you know the code?

Hi, are you checking in with your app? I'm gonna help you. No, there's no code. Hi, we have an online order for Michael Jones. That's it. What was that one again? For Michael Jones, an online order. It's not gonna wait, I'll please.

Thank you. Yes, sir. Wow, she sounded so down with you. So disappointed. Yeah. You're not going to order something? Brrrr. I'm just unbelievable.

You already paid? There's a top notch cup on the ground over here. Ooh, can you grab it? Maybe there's a burger inside. Michael, can you grab it? Oh my goodness, thank you so much. Thank you. That was so ready.

God, that's suspicious actually. They knew we were coming. That's our order. We need to take a picture in front of a Taco Bell, right? No. I think you just take it back to the office. Back at the office in front of the Taco Bell? Can you see the logo? Yeah, hang on. Snap a pic. I was just going to say from Nick's phone.

No, yeah, we could do that. Yeah, we could just steal it. He's already doing it. Yeah. These are several photos. Okay, well film this instead because this is stupid. Film him, film him. This is stupid as hell.

Food. There's no Taco Bell. Well, we don't have it. Hand him the bag, what are you doing, Nick? Oh, what am I doing? What are you doing, man? I'm taking a picture. Taco broke. Taco Bros. Oh, this is

This is a meta picture look at this take the fucking picture phone he's take oh Thought you were yelling oh, no, I'm sorry Here's gonna tell you to turn up your nest Nick in the car. It's a real menace Yeah, that's my wife says to what your wife says it too? Yeah, listen to her. He's a passenger princess What who drives most of the time me really? Yeah me yeah She can't can't drive with him cuz he just screams and gasps. Oh, yeah, if he's not in control, he's Drive now Think there's gonna be a long episode on the way back. Yeah, I don't can I get I can't get yeah

It's a turn around over the wall. That's a good solution. Go over the wall if you hit it at the right angle We could just we could probably I put some Tony Hawk. I put some Burnout revenge we could hit it right can you know I need a car? I'm gonna take them out This is gonna be a burnout rival now It's the way to go. Hey, it's the way to go I can't believe you guys don't know anything about the decades menu I saw the commercial for it and it made me nostalgic for the interior of a Taco Bell from back in the day Did your dad make you eat inside the Taco Bell? No. Yeah. No? Yeah, maybe.

We would sit down at places, yes. As a family. As a family. Sometimes he sat. Yeah, other times he was just kind of vibrating. Yeah, otherwise he would pace around. How is this seat so far back? Well, I just figured Nick wanted to be comfortable.

Oh, because he's- It was just like that, there we go. He sent it back and leaned it back. It was both. I'm nothing if not like, you know cordial Flexible. Yeah, you're cordial by getting your legs crushed. Yeah. Hey, thanks for that You know, hey man, you got plenty of room. Not you him What he meant you he meant me. He meant you know, well, yeah mount the curb

Mount the curb. Going mobile. I wanna go mobile. I guess it's rush, it's five. Is it rush hour? Yeah. That's usually what rush hour is. But like- I don't know, I don't see- On Tucker anyway.

Oh yeah, for sure. But on this? No. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Ah! Oh. Go! Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Oh Go! Damn, I can't even tell you. Nick is just a menace in a fucking car!

Not you, man, not you. I was totally out of smoke. Nick, do you want me to start kicking the back of his chair? Do you think that would help? Maybe. This fucking guy, man. Who? You! fucking you.

Jordan made you right up front. I didn't make him. I just, you know. He suggested it. I thought we'd mix it up. He did, and then the opportunity. You offered, which by default is making him. Our world is gonna turn that down. It's like when someone tells you,

oh, could you not do that anymore? And then you go, don't yell at me. Yeah. Yeah. We're telling secrets. I got yelled at. Yeah, I got yelled at at work. Oh yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, my manager said, hey, you've been doing fine, but can you just change this thing? Yeah, I got yelled at. It's true and relatable. Yeah, that feels real. We're regular guys. Yeah.

Who's yelling at who? Right. At this job, you're actually getting yelled at. Yeah. But someone's gasping at you. He's yelling at him through gasps and aahs. No, that's more of an excited, yeah, all right, it's yelling. This guy's a menace.

What are you talking about? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Living life on the edge. Damn, life in the fast lane? Oh, okay, guy on a bike. They like to live dangerously. I like that the sun sets at five o'clock now. Yeah, it's great. It's early now. Oh guys, this is the first real food I'm eating since the illness. Oh, did you guys know he was sick?

I didn't know he was sick. Well, he was wearing a mask for a while. So not that. Oh yeah, but that was like two weeks ago. I don't know. I only knew because of the other show. I also, I'm gonna stop you right there. I don't know that this is still real food. But like solid food.

Okay. What are you even eating like, it's things that have substance. Chicken noodle soup. Soy lint green. Are you like shredded right now? No fuck. No No, I also eat candy shredded. We okay. Okay, that's not solid. He was offsetting it. That's not what were you eating then? Noodles it was spaghetti instead of chicken. It was just have a chocolate noodle soup. Instead of noodles it was spaghetti.

Instead of chicken it was Snickers. I don't know what the problem is. Spaghetti is a noodle. Spaghetti is a noodle. So I get it. Alright, replace it with licorice. Okay, that's better. You're going to say liquor.

Oh, hang on. Well, at least liquor. Now we're talking. What do you think the broth is? It's fireball. Oh my god. Did we just invent a food crime that we can try? Yeah. I put licorice and Snickers inside my fireball. Oh my God. Did we just invent a food crime that we could try?

Yeah. I put licorice and Snickers inside my fireball. What? Heat it up. Probably don't need to, honestly. Fireball Snickerish, my favorite. Snickerish. What?

Snickerish. I haven't eaten any solid food, except for all this candy. It's just chocolate. I feel great. It's just chocolate. I feel great. It's just chocolate. Those calories don't count. Well, they do though.

It's fun size. So you have four and it's like fun. And you have fun. Yeah. I mean, I was having a good time. Yeah. Aside from the prior day. Did you have like a coronavirus or something?

No, it was an E-cast. No, a norovirus. Oh, what's the difference? Apparently babies. You can shake your brains out. Yeah, babiesovirus. Oh, what's the difference? Your brains out yeah babies get it explains why Nick got it babe, he's for Yeah, baby. Huh? Jordan thinks your kid is still like one. I'm sorry. He's not 30. He's a baby Okay. Well, that's fair. If you're if you're watching this and you're under 30, you's a baby. Okay, well that's fair. If you're watching this and you're under 30, you're a baby.

Congratulations. You're a little baby. Congrats on being a baby who can watch YouTube. Right. You like this, you like Ryan's World. Is this your screen time? Yeah, absolutely. Ooh, he's like 40 now.

Oh dude, Ryan's World like made a movie and it's just like, dude I think you're like a freshman in high school. Like don't do this. But he doesn't have a choice. Don't do this. Nope. Profit margin, profit margin.

Yeah, exactly. You got that? Okay. Oh dang. Do we have to make a movie now? What a grifter. Mommy's in the bank roll? Yeah, absolutely. We have to make a movie.

Oh man. We have the money for that, right? Oh, definitely. Yeah, yeah. Well, as long as we finance it and, you know, stake the entire future of, right? Oh, definitely. Yeah, yeah. Well, as long as we finance it and, you know, stake the entire future of the company on it. Yeah. And as long as we don't know how to do it, we just do it anyway.

Yeah, yeah. I get direct. Yeah, watch out. Go over there. You go inside. See? Done. Thank you.

There's a director right here. Wow. Yeah, fucking easy. See? I knew it. Yeah, done. Thank you. There's a director right here. Wow. Yeah, fucking easy. See, I knew it. If a schmuck like Zack Snyder can do it, so can I. Hey, show him our ambulance poster. Oh yeah, look at this.

If a schmuck like Michael Bay can do it. Yep. I can hire a guy who does drone tricks. Yeah. Yeah. For the whole movie. Yeah. I love it. All right, I was like, I wanna fucking food in there. We're not gonna eat all that.

Well, Nick, well, this is his first real food since chocolate. I'm coming back to the real world. Chocolate noodle soup. Yeah. I forgot. I have, I forget already. Can I get some chocolate on this place?

Oh! We're not in the car, so that's okay. I was trying to untie it. I think it's a losing effort. All right. Jordan, you ready to fucking live boss, dude? I think outside the bun, I'd actually like to live-

Menos? Menos for once. Dude, you just got back from Mexico. This should be like- Oh yeah, this should be. Finally, some real Mexican food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's like you're back there, dude. Yeah. Uh-huh. They had them all over the place.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They called them taquerias. There's a bunch of forks Loads of sauces Tons of sauces like it. Okay, so the napkins. Yeah. Wow. I'm stoked for the napkins He's doing the smallest. What is this? This is a burrito. This is a fucking that'srito. That's the green burrito, I think. That's a taco. What makes it green?

It's a fucking taco. Dude, it's not a burrito. Is that the gordita? No, it's a taco! It's a taco! Uh-oh. I think it's a burrito. That looks more like a burrito.

That looks more like a burrito. Oh, this one might be a burrito. Yeah. You look unamused. Maybe it's the Mexi-Melt? Oh, that's probably it. I think it's a cheesy double beef burrito. This is the gordita. I

Don't like holding these Then finally this piece there is a square The Mexican pizza, it's not was I right? No. Oh, what is it? It's a tostada Look at that. This looks so good. It looks just like the ones I had in Mexico. Uh-huh. So now- And I'll see you dad day Mexico. Congratulations.

Wow. Let me see your passport. They were serving tostadas like this at Arena Mexico. Jordan was just there. He didn't get enough. All right, check it out. Tostada reveal. Can you believe people missed this?

Ruined my childhood. You brought this back. You. Felt like that was right at me. Good. Did he vote for something again? Yeah. Someone.

Gracie! All right, we need to tuck into a lot of this food, so do a cool drone shot that ends on ambulance. Oh okay. Up the, yeah you gotta go down and then up the side. Yeah. And then over and then... Okay. He could have done better but that's fine. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna went towards the floor.