100% Eat - Stan Helsing, Our Favorite? - Ride Along Whataburger

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

Our Heroes gotta get a first look at this hot honey chicken sandwich. Who could imagine such a thing?? Hot Honey?! Chicken Sandwich?!? Whataburger is breaking down barriers. Truly unexplored territory. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. Twizzlers keep the fun going. Yeah, I know. I just stopped whatever you were listening to to tell you that Twizzlers keep the fun going. Well, irony isn't my forte, but twisty, chewy, yummy Twizzler sure is. So think of Twizzlers as a little palate cleanser for whatever's queued up, which, by the way, should be coming very soon.

Like any second now. Okay, Twizzlers, time to keep the fun going. It's a really nice waterbird. It's a nice water burger. This is, I think, the second or third time we've been to this one too. And it's, uh, that bar wasn't bad. No. The seats were actually really nice and they were like torn the shreds. Yeah.

There weren't a lot of people and they were playing Thriller. They were- That was odd. That was a big. So of all the Michael Jackson songs to play, thrillers nuts. Why is it nuts? There's just so many other songs at a place like Whataburger, like... You're excited when you go to Waterburger. You play like Human, you play Human Nature and all the...

It's a Thriller when you go to Waterford. Yeah, man. That's what they're implying. It's a Thriller night when you're eating the Krispy Waterburger. What a chicken sandwich. I have a theory that thriller is actually about Waterburger. Whoa! Wow!

Jordan's been doing a lot of theories lately. Yeah. Yeah. You have that- you have that 47-minute Patreon video about it. Yeah, yeah. And we're uploading soon. Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah. Any day now. He's doing it Rocco style, just talking to a camera for an extended amount of time. I don't know how Rocco does it. Did you see the thing he did for, um, they had the thing where, uh... For Derek's channel?

Yes. Yeah. And it was just him, on a green screen, floating in space and a rope, talking like a wizard. For like 90 minutes? For 90 minutes? It's like stunning. It's stunning that he has like the ability to do that. It's Michael. It's crazy. It's so he's a wizard for so long and he just keeps. Nothing happens. He doesn't do physical comedy. He stands there for 90 minutes and talks.

It is wild. It's crazy. And he had to and they did like a. They did like a... It really is. They did like a whole subscriber thing or whatever where they could like fuck with each other's channels. And he put that on Derek's YouTube channel. Like that's the most insane thing to upload anywhere, let alone your friend's YouTube channel.

This car's going to back into something. Yeah, it's us. Start turning. That's like the filibuster of community. Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Where Pat and Oswald just talks about Star Wars or whatever.

Apparently it was probably not 90 minutes long, but it was like in filming. Yeah, right. They filmed it like in real time. In real time. They just like, let's edit this down. Yeah. They were just like, let go off. That's just the first thing I thought of when you mentioned that. Crazy.

Anyway, that's what Jordan's going to do. He has a theory about Thriller and Waterburger. I could probably come up with many like different theories for different properties. I don't think I could talk 47 minutes about. Not with that attitude. Thriller and Waterburger. Dr. Rocco. Get some tips.

Yeah. Although he might be magicians. What the fuck? Look in this script. green light. It's just a U-turn. I've never seen a U-turn green light. You certainly can't turn left. Drive down. Drive down. Right. That's crazy. I remember when I was a kid and I saw like the green arrow like forward arrow for the worst time. It's like they want you to go up. How up?

There's a there's a that new shopping center in Maynard. Yeah. And they opened like a new light in the road because there was a light past that. And it's just for like making left turns into the shopping center. But they have like no U-turn signs. It's just a normal traffic light and just turn left. Like no U-turns, but I don't know why. And people do it all the time. Is there like not enough space?

No, there is. But maybe there's not enough space like at the base level of Texas drivers. No, it's a long light. Are there also people like turning right out of the parking at the same time and it's just like let's not make people crash? That could be it. Maybe.

Because you know nobody's ever like expecting someone to make a U-turn. They might be, but I don't think it's a light. It's just like a right turn out of the parking lot. Like that light only functions for, I believe, the left turn. Huh. But I see people ignore that anyway. You don't really, Grin-a-you-don-have-to-do because you make a left turn into the complex.

Yeah. And then drive through it quickly. Like, you can make the U-turn without making a U-turn. Sure, sure. But it's like an odd placement. Every time I see it, I go, why? Like, it's so, it's very feasible. It's a very feasible thing to do.

So again, that just made me think of that. I've never seen that light either. That you turn light. That was crazy. I've never seen one. I didn't know they made them. I was in the car with the kids the other day going to five below. Nice to talk you guys about.

We've been talking about five below. Popular spot. And I didn't realize it was, it had to be on Sunday because they were closing early. And we were just like around the house and I was like, you said take us five below. I'm like, what time are they closed? She's like, I don't know, dude. Eight? Nine.

I don't know. And I'm like, look it up. Holy shit. Look, look it up. And so it's like 6.30 or something. And I look it up. I'm like, oh, they close at seven. She's like, oh, no.

What? And she's like, guess we can go. I'm like, we're going now. Let's go. She's like, what? Like, she was surprised, which is like, very rare. Usually it's the reverse. Where there's no time.

And I'm telling them, there's no time. And I'm like, let's go anyway. And now I'm like, get your goddamn shoes on and get in the car. And so we are racing the fly below. And we're sitting at a light. And it's like, and it's like, red light and all of a sudden she just hung just be it's like dude it's red what i'm talking about what there's three cars in front of us what is she does she think the horn makes the light go green nothing

matters when you're racing the five below right there's no time turn your hazards on it's on every light i was like what are you talking about we're in the left plane Nine? That's a hundred percent. All right. Hell, well, because I think, the only thing I can base that off of is I'll complain sometimes when I'm driving when I'm in the right lane,

and it's a red light. Oh. And she'll be like, beep at them. I'm like, no, they don't have to. They're just stupid. Yeah. I don't beat me if I'm not turning on red. I just bitched them in my car.

Exactly. Like the road's fucking empty. Turned. Yeah. Oh, I was just in that situation over the weekend as well. But I won't beep. And I was like, beep. So maybe she didn't understand the difference

within Dull left the right gear. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, there's a traffic light. Yeah. That's so funny. It would be cool, though, if there was a secret combination of honks and light flashes, you could do that change the light. Oh.

Like a Konami code type of thing. Yeah, yeah. At night, I know. We should just try it. Even do like Uno style, though, where it's like not just change the traffic light, the traffic light says, third car back gets to go. Yeah. Go out of the way.

Move first to course. Move. Oh, man. The car back, move. Move, but don't go. Party of two? Party of two. Oh man, they were getting pissed about that.

It took the six flags the other day. Oh, people cutting it long. Well, it wasn't cutting. Right. In quotes, got it. It was filling it to capacity. And they're like, we've been waiting. Yeah.

I was like, dude, it's just efficient. Dude, I got in a situation one time on a ride at Disney World where, like, there's part of the queue system where it's like this, the line ends now. And we just need to fill up space. Yeah. And the people in front of us weren't heating that? Like, they weren't listening. Uh. And we even tried to tell them it's like, they said, just move up, fill a little available space.

And they were just, like, not doing it. So, like, we just moved in front of them. Yeah, absolutely. And then they were just like, well, we're not in a rush. Yeah. Whatever. Who's in? Like, they got mad that, like, we moved in front of them.

It's not about being in a rush. Yeah. What the fuck? They're not going to let us go if we don't do it. I want to ride the ride. Yeah. We're all in line for it. Yeah.

They were just, like, fucking crazy. So dumb in, like, not. not paying attention. Like most people at like Costco and Disneyland do, you know? Yeah. We're just like, oh, it's my first day on Earth. Yeah. I was just born, and I'm not in a rush.

Right. I'm not in a rush. I don't need to ride this, I don't care. I don't even give it care. You'd think there'd be more agency when you're waiting in line for like an hour or something. Yes. It's your turn, motherfucker.

Yep. No. I'm impatient two seconds in, but I keep it inside. Yep. You know. You can handle the wait. I signed up for it. Right. You knew what it's coming up.

I don't wait in line, but I assume no one does. I assume no one wants to wait in this line. But based on your behavior, I'm starting to think you might like waiting in this line. I'm excited to see what these chicken sandwiches look like. Are you really excited? Yeah, I can't wait. I think the pomeino cheese really helped. See, me and Nick are both equally excited.

Well, at least it isn't just hot honey. Yeah. Let's see. What should we get for dipping the onion rings? Okay, cool. Oh, he's going into a sauce drawer. Okay? You got some Dukes here?

Yeah, that's probably not gonna do it. That's the official mailgate of the tailgate in the mail. A snag a couple of these buttermilk ranches. You want a signature cheese? No, no, no. You want a buttermilk? Oh, that's good, this good. That's good.

You want an avocado salsa? Nah. Okay, how about, do you want a cats up? No? No. What about the spicy ketchup over here? It's the black. This, this one.

No. There you go. You got me. You got me. You said that you weren't you wanted any, and then we didn't take it. Well, we had some. We did. We did have some. This was the first time that you...

Show restraint. Yeah. And I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. What was the name of this again? This movie's called Stan Hilson. It's still on? It's still on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's still on. It's probably right near the end. We can only hope.

There are a bunch of monsters. They're still in the bar. Nothing has happened in this movie. Did they ever leave? The best part of the movie so far was... It was a really dark scene. Kick some butt, Stan. It was a really dark scene and there was like glare on the screen and Eric took a picture of what was happening to send to Michael and then we realized the guy in the scene had a swastika tattoo on his nose. Fucking crazy. We were watching it. We had no idea.

It was really something to see. This is funny though, look, right? Is this funny? It's Freddy Krueger, but he's gonna- We'll dig into the food the moment something funny happens. Okay. Oh, they're all scared because he's got, we can't show that on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, we'll get in the algorithm this. way. Oh.

They're gonna make sure people see this. You kidding me? And look at our real Patriot hat. Okay, we got two different kinds of ranches and a spicy cats up. For the onion rings. For the onion rings. They all fell out.

Oh, my God. Oh, whatever. They're in the bag. All right, Jordan. I don't want this one. What? Come on. Why not?

Okay, here. There's something about it. What the fuck? All right, I'll have it. Oh, it would poke me. His is gonna suck. See, that's why I don't want it. A honey crisp. Oh, wow, look at that.

There it is. A crisping. It's hot. Freddy Kruger was wearing a Charlie Brown shirt, I just realized. He was in the bathroom earlier in the scene and hurt himself wiping. Hold on. Well, that, uh... What?

Oh, that's sad. What? There it is. There's the pimento. Yeah, that's what makes it make it good. You guys are talking about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sticky and gooey.

Oh, Michael's favorite. We should have asked for the spicy chicken fillets. He was asking about that. You guys were having a conversation about that. I was just curious. I didn't know they had a regular fried chicken sandwich. I'm not aware of it. I'm sticky.

Oh no. No. How are we gonna get out of this sticky situation? I guess what? Stop fucking filming. Watch the episode and find out. He looked dangerous. Yeah?

You won't like me when I'm sticky. No, I know for a fact. Oh, God. Dude, that's a lot of stick. You won't like when you're sticky. There we go. All right, bye. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair.

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