100% Eat - Starbucks Oleato

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Starbucks Oleato drinks so you know if it's worth eating (or drinking.) They also talk about union busting, how oil and coffee really mix, getting a mouth full of oil, and a special snack attack grimace style. Come to RTX where we'll be reviewing Stubbs BBQ LIVE July 7-9 www.RTXaustin.com Sponsored by Katos Coffee go to http://katoskoffee.com and join the koffee club to get 5% off, and Unstable Games go to https://bit.ly/3HPq0K2 to get Casting Shadows now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation jam to let you know if you need it, you probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones. Alongside, not that close though, my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you from way over there? Alongside, mostly in spirit. We're alongside, but just mostly in spirit. You're closer to Eric than you are to me. Yeah.

And you keep getting closer to Eric. That way we can cover the whole room. I'm comfortable with that because the striking distance radius. It's not so much about moving away from you as towards a threat. A threat? I'm done being

insane mode. I don't think so. Someone was lashing out wildly earlier. I'm done being insane mode. He drank his coffee and now he's calmed down. He's so calm now. He was riled up before and then had his Starbucks...

What even is this? Olato? Olato? That sounds Italian and pretentious. Olito. I think we should call it Olato the Starbucks Olato which is some kind of drink food

just cause you wrote it on here starpinions get bucked get bucked starpinions not your best work that's my starpinion I'm sorry I would at least expect something angrier this morning No

He was in a different mood He was in a fiery mood Don't talk to him until he's had his two Alottos One hot and one cold It was supposed to be three But they ran out of one of them There were supposed to be three, but they ran out of one of them.

There were supposed to be two colds and a hot. Are these things flying off the shelves? Well, they are when we show up. And the guys would discuss putting cup after cup. They didn't give a fuck that we were there. They didn't even look at us. I mean, they don't have to look to think. I just went, hey, order for Hope, and looked and went, okay, thank you.

And Michael just started handing out things to us. Guy never looked up. Guy never cared. Didn't give a fuck. He never cared to. And I thought, there is no Hope. Wow. I still don't know who Hope is. You know, we used to have, it used to be Johnny Cash and Bob Hope

and Steve Jobs, and now there's no Cash, no Hope, and no Jobs. Wow, are you on Facebook? That is awesome. Michael held back a very big laugh. I was playing the Bowser balloon game, but I didn't pop. But for some reason, it's that type. And Minion?

Yeah. Why do the Min minions have this opinion well those are min pinions um hope is somebody who works on the uh sales team here and when i was ordering these drinks it made it i was on my phone and it's like sign up or log in to order online and i went i don't want to fucking do that i don't want to sign up for log in to order online. And I went, I don't want to fucking do that. I don't want to sign up for a Starbucks. I don't want this. So I went over to the sales team and I went, who has a Starbucks? They all,

they all stood up. She was the first one to hear his tribute. Yeah, absolutely. I just said, uh, I'm like, I'll,

I'll pay with my card and all this stuff, but you want 60 stars or whatever? she went oh my god yeah wait wait it's stars stars it's not bucks no it's stars holy shit oh my god why isn't it bucks it was right there because bucks is like direct value it's true stars is like a rewards program you can't get bucks through rewards but i agree with cash is king It should be bucks Too fucking late That's why you have no stars And no hope and no jobs And no cash

Right And no Biden He's just looking forward to it Yeah I was trying to Trying to get him ameached. You're going to make him the second president to get indicted. Don't joke around about that. Hey, there's some things you don't joke about.

This is a dark day in history. Hey, there's some things you don't joke about. This is a dark day in history. What are the opinions of the rest of the world going to be about America if we indict a former president who committed a crime? What are your Trump-pinions? Or Biden-pinions? Biden-pinions. Biden-pinions. It's pronounced Bipkins.

Yeah. So Starbucks, which we've never done before, has Right, well, they don't have food. They do have food. They actually do, though. Okay, he's gonna eh. This is a fucking drink. They actually do

have food. You can argue the goodness or the value of the food, but we've never done Starbucks. I was gonna say, do we want to eat food? And we still haven't done food. Yeah. Because the thing that they have that's limited, which is very limited. I don't even. It's not nationwide.

It's only in select markets. It's only in some cities. Austin, for some reason, is one of them. It's not pumpkin spice. It's not pumpkin spice. It is olive oil in your coffee. There is one tablespoon. Why is that limited?

I think. I don't. Because I think it's maybe. Because we're going to run out of olive oil. Is olive oil in your coffee. There is one tablespoon. Why is that limited? I think, I don't, because I think it's maybe. Because we're going to run out of olive oil. Is olive oil eggs? Although eggs isn't, eggs isn't lemons anymore. Right. Eggs is now back to being eggs. Yeah, I think lemons is lemons again. Eggs is, eggs it was kind of, they had their shell burst.

Yeah. Oh. It was like a blackberry situation. Yeah, runny yolk. The egg yolk. You don't have to. Lemon. Yolks on them. There you go.

That's what I was looking for. Thank you so much. What was it? Yolks on them. Oh, that's really good. That's why he was looking for it. You know what? We did need that.

I was swimming through eggs to find lemons or whatever, and it was... Not anymore, you're not. Hey, Jester to Nickick don't you dare laugh Like a fucking maestro So this Oleado drink is there's a few different drinks we'll get into them But here's the thing it looks great

They are insane These are Why would you make this Who wants this I feel like even if you worked at starbucks for five years and you made a hundred of these drinks every time you went to port when you look at your manager and go are you sure are you sure it is so so this is the brain child of the now former ceo of starbucks which is the only reason glitched which no that's the other i'm actually reading about this on chris lick's old job pronounce his name i've read so much about right

i'm pretty sure it's litched that seems right uh but who's the former ceo of starbucks uh-huh howard schultz so here's the. Is he not the current interim CEO? I was reading that some other guy now. Showered Holtz. He, I was writing a fact and I had a fact about him and then I took it out because it wasn't punchy enough. He was the CEO three times of Starbucks. Really? Like, and came back?

Yeah, he left and came back and left and came back. He ran for president twice and fucked it up both times. And then he's like, oh, there's always Starbucks. That's exactly what happened. Hey, Jordan, you can go home. And they keep taking him back? They took him back as interim CEO. What the fuck does that mean?

You're on parole, buddy. What the buck? Get bucked. I can't imagine being the CEO of Starbucks is that hard of a job because apparently making the coffee. It seems like the company runs itself, but apparently you need to come up with ideas every now and then like this shit. and he runs itself, but apparently you need to come up with ideas every now and then, like this shit. I think the thing he did the most

before this was just bust unions. That's his number one thing. That was the only thing he did as CEO. He would do it himself. He'd go into each Starbucks. He would roll up his sleeves. He's not very good at it

because Starbucks is unionizing everywhere. And it rules. So the fact that I was writing and then took away is that he is pro-union when it comes to when he's running for president. But then when asked about it when he is CEO of Starbucks, he's like, well, what I was hoping is that every employee would feel like they had a voice with me and I would listen. And so we would have no need for you. I'm so pro union. We don't need it. Yeah.

And then he said that unions are attacking Starbucks and he has to like put a stop. I thought he was busting him up he is like a street gang these are these are such good tactics from like a union busting standpoint where it's like oh you don't need a union because your job rules already yeah yeah and also unions are now evil yeah they're attacking me and i must destroy them before they destroy us crazy and he ran for president twice and Bernie Sanders I think in one of the debates was like hey are you gonna listen to the national labor board when it said that you have like some of the most egregious standing in anti-union

uh sentiment in the United States and he went well no we're not gonna abide by that because I don't think we broke the law and it's like wow what are you talking about if what a fuck oh I hate him I hate this guy so much three times the ceo what of this fucking company and you didn't put this in no good thing we didn't talk about it here's the reason i didn't put it in i couldn't find a joke i just kept writing it going fuck this fuck i know right you're just so mad yeah i just kept writing going fuck you goddamn piece of shit erase all this uh dope hold on it's coming back hang on he's getting his star pinions floated up there You goddamn piece of shit. I'm going to erase all this. Dope.

Hold on. It's coming back. Hang on. He's getting his star pinions. It floated up there. Grab that. Reach for the stars. Yo, I ate and drank all the stuff I want to.

And I need more. You drank all of it. Well, not that. There's plenty more. Not food. You can drink Starbucks. It's got olive oil. That's almost food.

I remember what I was going to say this reminds me of when Joe Biden tweeted that he's not he makes no apology for being the most pro-labor president and Twitter put like the what do you call it the stip, the stipulation underneath it. Fact-checking piece. People are saying,

yeah. And it's like Joe Biden made a law that made it illegal for the train workers to unionize or to strike, which is true. But also what Joe Biden said is unfortunately still true. Yeah. The bar is just very low. He is still the most pro-labor president.

He's just not that pro-labor. He's just not the most labor. And that's why Howard Schultz will be the next president of the United States. And he will be second most pro-labor president. Unions will decrease

under his administration and he will still be the second best. Oh, man. Anyway, support your local Starbucks that have unionized. Yeah, no kidding. Even if they don't look at you when you come in to get your drink, even if they don't look at you, support them.

But also make sure you go to Starbucks and not your little local shitty shop. Yeah, what are you going to? Let them go under so I can get a new movie theater. But go to Starbucks. Really help them out. Yeah, I mean, like, when you go to your local coffee shop, we're all screwed.

I was going to say, go to Starbucks. I've never gone to Starbucks. When you go to your local coffee shop, do they ever put olive oil in your drink as a trick or as a treat? You know what? They don't, and that's actually a really good point uh-huh against starbucks don't go to starbucks i think that if this was a regular coffee shop and they put olive oil in their coffee it would be a thing that like you were saying

it would just be like are you you sure? Did you do that? Did you drop something? You're fucking sure about this? You dropped something? I also could see it like a regular coffee shot, something being like, what's Tina doing today?

Like, she swears a little bit of all of what, not a coffee chain like Starbucks going, a whole tablespoon. I mean, it's pretty close. It's pretty close

to that bulletproof coffee or whatever that's like, you know, coffee, you put like butter and all like this stuff in it that's something i've heard people yeah so like when olive oil came into the picture i was like i guess it's just what people do right but it's not but like that's black sucking it down that's like strong black coffee with like butter and like one or two other things not with this crazy talk what i'm hearing i didn't i've never even known this is like the matrix like a world in a world.

You're talking about coffee, butter, olive oil talk? This is insanity. It's people that I know who ride bikes, who are like, I wake up. That doesn't completely complete the circle for me. Because it gets. You got to go more. I know someone who rides bikes. It's him.

It's a metabolism. It's like a metabolism Kickstarter. And then they go go ride and you don't have to eat it just keeps you mcdonald's right right yeah no kidding just go ride your bike to the drive-thru bro i don't know if there's there's facts about it later on in the episode but speaking of like kickstarting your metabolism i've heard that some people have had a very diuretic reaction to this what that specifically or specifically? I don't have this in the facts. Some people call it a poop potion.

Oh no! So coffee already will get the pipes flowing but it seems like with olive oil it just kind of adds a little something else as well. To me there's like, you know, Taco Bell's the fan favorite to be like, ah, my poopy butt. And Taco Bell to me is it's a real like gut-butt

connection, right? Like it's bad for both I feel like coffee is similar much lesser but it's kind of like uh you know gut and butt uh the olive oil is just gut and so it's weird it's like it's not surprising at all it's like well yeah people already drink coffee to make poopies and now you're putting olive oil in it right it's just weird like it's just weird. It's just going to blob out or something. I don't know. I don't think the olive oil is getting it out, but it's going to be doing something.

I heard people having some... Are we about to cut weight? Yeah, look forward to... We're going back on the way home. There's going to be a pause in the middle of this episode where we take a break. No, it's face crossover. I'm going to let you listen to it.

That is face crossover stuff. Do you need this bucket? Yeah. Too bad. Record this. Gavin, get the camera. Quick, empty out the middle of this monitor. There's shit in it.

I'm 50. That's right. Okay. monitor with a shit in it. I'm 50. That's right. Who can say that they've pooped on camera more than once in their life?

I don't know who could say it, but even those who could probably wouldn't. Yeah. It's quite an accomplishment. Yeah. Way to go. Yeah. Way to go. I've already seen one video of Jeff pooping his pants. I don't need to see more. I don't need to see. You just gotta normalize. Sometimes you shit your pants.

You know? That's true. Sometimes it is too much, but none times. Yeah. See, that could be a problem. I'd get that checked out. That I didn't shit my pants? Right. I need to go to my doctor and say, doc, doc, I haven't shit my pants. Should I be? Where is pants? Right. I need to go to my doctor and say, Doc, Doc, I haven't shit my pants.

Should I be? Why is it hiding? Hiding? What's it afraid of? I guess my pants. He sits on the toilet. It comes out no problem. Yeah.

Any other situation. What can I do about this? He can't. All right. Let's get a haiku about Starbucks. Yeah, let's do it. Are you writing it right now? No, I'm just bringing it up.

Oh. Nick will edit it. Remember he said he was done being crazy? He took two seconds and he was losing it. Not you, him. Jesus Christ. I was going to say. And we have even Lord.

And it's like, I don't know. And for some reason, Nick thought it was him. Who did? And he did nothing. Nick sat there patiently. Can't stay in two seconds of silence. Did Shane pump some gas in here? Yeah. Making drinks all day.

Energized by the olive. Denied the union. Oh i appreciate in a place of caffeine you're energized by the all i hope so man it's gotta be doing something right i could use a little olive boost right now do you think that they like you think there's people like stealing scoops of olive oil like having like a sip of olive oil like during the day I hope not one for you one for me oh no oh again you just I just keep I just imagine people drinking olive oil and I don't really have

to imagine because we just did yes it was also in coffee but remove the coffee and we were just drinking olive oil and it's just I just imagine someone sloshing back a few and what does that look like in your stomach oh you know you like wipe the pan but it's just i just imagine someone sloshing back a few and what does that look like in your stomach oh you know you like wipe the pan but it's still there yeah all right one of our one of our camera ops cameron was telling me like oh i love i've

been getting that i've been getting the olive oil coffee i'm like really he's like yeah i got it and then his poops bad uh and he said him and his friend got it and he took a drink because he's like, oh, you have to like reincorporate it because like the olive oil separates. It separates in like 20 seconds. It's all fucking time. So he's like, you have to reincorporate it. His friend didn't reincorporate it, took a drink. It was just olive oil all over their fucking mouth.

Yeah. And it was like, oh, I didn't. That's disgusting. Well, what's frustrating about this drink is that you shake it up, and since, you know, it's olive oil, it just separates again in two seconds. Why does it separate? I don't understand why it separates. Explain it, Jordan. You see the properties of oil are more dense than the properties of the other liquids,

like water and coffee. What? Oh, coffee. And so, it being more dense, it goes to the top. It goes together like oil and coffee. I get it now. Wow! There you go. That's where that saying comes from. Real Beekman's World thing kind of going on here.

This is pretty exciting. Let's learn about Starbucks since we've never done this restaurant before. Restaurant? Food establishment? I mean, I would say it's a coffee shop. By the way, the current CEO is a man named Lakshman Narim. Bro, that's the same guy.

Yeah, that's Howard Schultz, right? Yeah, right. It's an anagram. It's an anagram. Is he interim or current? It says current. Okay, so Howard says current until Howard wants to come back. Following another failed bid at the White House. Failed presidential bid. It says current. Okay. So Howard says current until Howard wants to come back. Until Howard.

Keeping it for Howard. Following another failed bid at the White House. Failed presidential bid. 2012. He's going to Connor Roy it one more time. 2012 people were like, are you going to run? And he's like, oh, I'm not going to run. I'm not going to run.

And then he finally didn't. 2016 he tried and it fucked it up. Didn't do it. 2020 he tried, fucked it up. Didn't do it. And it's like, all right. So this time. so real quick it says here that last year schultz met olive oil producer tomaso asaro who introduced him to the practice of consuming a tablespoon of olive oil each day that's not in your but that that's not that that's that's what stupid like people who fancy themselves as thought leaders do

like my morning routine is wake up at 4 a.m and absorb the sunrise olive oil yes did you drink your olive oil yeah so it still says it says schultz picked up the habit himself wondered if he could combine it with his daily coffee routine. This guy fucking sucks. And asked Starbucks' beverage team to see if they could pull it off. This is... I'm adding this for flavor. Unfortunately, they had no choice. I also like the idea, like, straight up by definition, no, you didn't combine it.

It's just sitting on top. Yes, you literally can't combine them. Also, can you figure it out? Well, we can put it in the cup. Wow! What do you want us to do from there? I don't know, can you figure it out? Well, we can put it in the cup. Wow! What do you want us to do from there? I don't know. Can you make it, like, sink or something?

Can you, like, shoot it with a laser beam? Can we make the coffee more dense? Can we make the water hug it? I don't... Well, that's right. Have you seen the new Pixar movie coming out? Can they get along? That's a pre-fact.

Wow, way to go, scientist. You put the oil with the coffee? You're genius. You're not Union, are you? Just kidding. I don't care about you. On to the Starbucks facts. Okay. We call the

Starbucks facts the fucks. In 2004, Starbucks and Concord Records teamed up to co-produce, market, and distribute a groundbreaking album with Ray Charles. Quote, genius love company. At a time when duet albums

were not commonplace, Charles was paired with legendary guest artists including Nora Jones, Diana Krall, James Taylor, Elton John, Willie Nelson, and Bonnie Riot. The landmark album rate, I don't know how to pronounce it. Riot would have been cooler. The landmark album went on to receive don't know. Yeah. Right. It would've been cooler.

The landmark album went on to receive eight Grammy awards. Fact from starbucks.com. That was just, I don't think I've ever fumbled through just a series of words afterwards and going like, that's a guy. They're 90. What is Starbucks talking about? Also,

the part that throws me, it is at a time when duet albums were not commonplace. What? That is the time when duet albums were the most commonplace. Clive Davis said, Santana, team up with Rob Thomas and make Smooth

and then do a whole album of duets. And then everyone did it at that time. And they all won more than eight Grammys. This is the only time that duet albums were commonplace. They didn't only time they do an album for Grammys. They didn't make it to fax at starbucks.com. No. Starbucks has got to make themselves sound good.

Remember when they used to sell CDs right there at the cash register? They don't do that anymore. Where do all the CDs go? Landfill. Oh, with the E.T. game? Uh-huh.

Next fact. the cds go landfill oh with the et game uh-huh yeah next fact originally started as a coffee company don't you dare cut that out originally started as a coffee company starbucks has ventured into small bites and even features other drinks such as tests refreshers and hot chocolate but you'll still be behind the person who wants the tall, skinny, sugar-free, decaf soy vanilla latte, extra hot whipped cream, double-sleeved, no cup. Oh, brother. These Starbucks drinks. Starbucks orders, am I right? What I do appreciate is Starbucks is so, like, Starbucks, to me at least, like, being a dum-dum,

like, it's first, like, commercial, bougie, like, this is Starbucks. Like, it's coffee, but it's, like, it's fucking fancy, bitch. Get your shit together. And just that alone, like, oh, you don't order it in regular large, motherfucker. You say tall, venti, venti, Right? So what I appreciate is like, they were very early on in the like apps and shit like that. And 99% of their customers do that. So when I do go into Starbucks, nobody's in line ever.

And people walk in, they grab their shit and they leave. It's like the, it's like the people that wouldn't use the app don't go to Starbucks. Yep. The people that are like, I don't know what I want. And standard, that person will never use an app. Right. go to Starbucks. The people that are like, I don't know what I want. That person still

will never use an app. What is this? So fortunately Starbucks always looks empty. Every time I go in there, I was like, there's nobody here. But genius invention, now they have the alphabet at the fucking checkout. And they put your little bag right next to your letter

or your name. No more confusion. Don't touch my bag. You start with an M, motherfuckers. Don't touch. Oh, you do? Sorry. Sorry, Malcolm. Oh, you're... We're friends now, but it was heated. We were enemies for a minute.

With a robust menu and a full secret menu, Starbucks features over 87,000 drink combinations, all of them burnt. Eric, you like Starbucks, right? No. What? But you're a real coffee guy. How can that be? Hang on, I'm not putting these pieces together.

How can that be? Hang on, you like coffee. Why come you don't like Starbucks? I thought Starbucks good. Starbucks is coffee. You are a real coffee guy, right? How many pumps? My favorite part about the coffee, the syrups. Yum. That's my favorite part of water.

Pump, pump. Oops, I used mustard again. I forgot. Well, that's fine. Tell Howard Schultz and maybe that's a new coffee. Okay. I mean, he's got to get his daily input of mustard. Yep.

He just needs to combine it with his coffee. Truly. Just one little piece of shit a day. Can we put it in the coffee? For real, though, in a 2014 episode, that one, I just, Jordan, people would be too confused. They never were going to get it.

It's true. It would have hung up people for so long. I just said, it's 2014. Yeah. In a 2014 episode of Nathan For You, Nathan Fielder opened a Starbucks parody store called Dumb Starbucks. The real coffee shop sold drinks like dumb chai tea latte and drew long lines in Los Angeles.

Starbucks, not happy with the stunt, threatened legal action, but Comedy Central got away clean, which brings us to our announcement that we are opening Actually Good Burger King, where we'll sell Wendy's disguised as a Burger King. That is genius. That's pretty good. That's the move right there. It's really smart. opening actually good Burger King where we'll sell Wendy's disguised as a Burger King. That is genius. That's pretty good. That's the move right there. It's really smart.

And now it's just like that lady who was taking the Popeye's chicken and selling it at her restaurant. So now we can, can we point that to in when that gets brought up legally, we can point to comedy central like Starbucks V comedy. Yeah. There's precedent. And we'll end. And then a note at the bottom fuck you that's what it'll say and then we'll stamp it

actually good Burger King this is good Nick do you have the do you have the startup money alright he said give him three hours I thought you were going to ask him if he was going to be the mascot for it. No.

No. No, we need a bank roller. I appreciate that you're looking to him to be your venture capitalist. Well, hour. Oh, that's good. No, I agree. You already have the stamp. How are you not part of this?

I don't understand. I just thought the stamp looked nice. He's got enough stars, but he doesn't got enough bucks. And the final Starbucks fact, besides that long pre-fact, where we really hammered that guy that may or may not be CEO. Eric said he was, and then he wasn't, but he might be. And then Jordan said, no way. The original Starbucks logo featured a topless mermaid

until she was covered up by her hair in 1987. This is similar to how Michael originally envisioned the sauce monkey, but we would never cover him up. Saucy. I kept saying, if you remember, they kept saying we gotta cover him up, and I said, cover up his top all you want. I will not

compromise. Cover up his top. Put a different shirt on him. Everything about the waist is fair play. I don't care. He's got the mask on, and you can cover up the top. I told you. You have his top and you can do whatever you want with his T-zone,

but below the waist, that monkey is ours. Yeah, and everyone was like... You know, things change and then obviously the design changed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, everyone was saying how difficult you were being. Yeah. Well, everyone was saying how difficult you were being. Yeah.

That's a little one for us. Oh, man. Did you guys learn a lot about Starbucks? Yeah. I mean, I feel like those are all really good. What did it look like in 1986? Show me a picture. Yeah.

Can you bring it up on the screen? He looked like... I might get in trouble. Hold on, let me turn safe search off. I will. He's got a car, right? You can come by later. What hotel are you staying at? I asked him to look up this titty mermaid

and for some reason he's not going on Google. He's going through his photos. He keeps saying it's somewhere, it's somewhere, it's somewhere. Whoa, yeah, that rules. Bring that back. That flew till 1986. He's got two tails. Isn't that crazy?

No wonder they hate unions. Yep. That classic. Do yourself a favor. That's union support starbucks 1986 just start just start telling people whenever whenever somebody's talking about starbucks like oh yeah i love them 86 man last good year just start subtly putting out oh yeah i liked it before that i mean it's like i used to like star, but whatever. Is that why you don't like Starbucks as a

coffee drinker? Yeah. The same reason I don't like the monkey. We covered up the lower half. I remember when you were two or three and you were pissed. What are they doing to us? Those are all the facts and they're all true and real they're all real and good dumb starbuck yep think about it actually good burger kings actually actually good idea it's really it's smart right um we would absolutely get sued there's no fucking way we could get away with

it but like how many central did though especially well yeah here's the thing their legal team is probably like we will work with you because we know this is this will ultimately be good for like the company yeah our legal team here is like if we have to do anything regarding litigation we must avoid it yeah oh it's definitely hey if you're thinking about doing something that might have to be us doing something don't even we're us doing something. Don't even. We're going to throw you under that bus. Yeah.

Get under that bus preemptively. You guys are too pessimistic. Come on. Okay. Then I say we drop our legal team. We put the monkey in an ill-fitting suit. Give him a briefcase with papers sticking out and just see what happens and we fucking front load his pants tell me that does not add to the image i'm thinking as you're describing go and then the last i see it all unfortunately unfortunately. Well, in the pants. Yeah.

Who knows? Could be his phone. Could be a banana. Maybe he's just happy to see us. He's a little too happy to see us. I don't like it. Okay. All right.

This is not good. We did it, though, right? We're done? Yeah. Absolutely. We'll see you later. What's up with their food? Can we talk about the quality of their food? Starbucks.

Do you ever eat at Starbucks, Michael? It seems like a thing that you do. The only time I eat at Starbucks, I very, very rarely go to Starbucks. I've found recently, for some reason, just not eating as much fast food. I'll go there once every two months now i go every like three weeks i don't know why it's like it's like to fill like a little sugar loss uh but the only food i ever really get is breakfast and it's usually just because i'm sick of whatever fast food right like it's it's not much further in the vicinity of like

the same shit like mcdonald's is mcdonald's fast food you right? Like it's not much further in the vicinity of like the same shit. Like McDonald's is McDonald's fast food. You get Wendy's. Taco Bell is just, it's not breakfast food at all. It's just like, it's the same shit. It's more of the same food.

Taco Bell is by far the most egregious place to get quote unquote breakfast food. No, it's breakfast. But it's fucking, it's insane. Don't you want this queso lupa? So at least Starbucks, usually the only thing I'll get,

because people love them. I hate those little fucking omelet bite things. I was going to say, I was going to say, I'm surprised that when you said, like, I don't really eat at Starbucks, whatever, I totally pegged you now as a sous vide egg guy. No, that's just, I haven't tried them again. I'd eat them for like, you know, the nutritional value.

Appetite-wise, they disgust me. What I get is the Gouda bacon, egg, sandwich oh yeah that is pretty good that is probably the best food it's basically the only thing i eat there and i usually get two at a time because they're fucking microscopic and they're like four dollars that is expensive as shit that's also the only food i eat at starbucks and i'm not looking to ever go there but in a pinch if it's like it ain't bad the only thing it yeah it's doable it's i their pastries are always oh they never go there yeah they would never get a pastry or yeah you'd be insane they're like rice crispy you're a lunatic yeah convention food that's what it is to me yeah there you go sunday morning and it's like

the second to last day of because it's memorial day on monday so you have to be there on fucking monday also and it you're just like i just get a fucking cup of coffee and something to eat and then go to the convention it's just like and it's that maybe it's because i grew up on the east coast and it's like diner is law there's diners and bagels but like never in my life have i ever gone into only like you said at conventions or trips or when i'm at a fucking hotel have I walked into like a cafe and said I guess I'll eat that food that's in the window yes never ever ever ever

give me what you got in that jar there donuts are kind of different right where it's like you know they made them and you're getting I'm talking about like I'll take that croissant that's just sitting there I guess like I just that I've never done that in my entire life and so like Starbucks is the last fucking place I would right right knows how long that's been sitting out there a long time good a

sandwich and then based on how it tastes a very very long time they keep my good a sandwich in the freezer until they microwave it for me exactly thank you Starbucks you and in coffee in general what is what is y'all's routine like how many cups do you drink in a day or two i have one in the morning and then one in the afternoon is that because you have to limit yourself i have to limit myself so okay uh i'm sorry is nick holding up four fucking fingers he is indeed are you mad what the fuck he seems mad oh my god nick's mad at you I mean that's wow I'm impressed it's like a lot for me it's one I do it in the morning it prevents

me from getting a headache later in the day it's like I'm just dependent enough on caffeine that I need one but if I ever drink more than that it's like caffeine overload for me I had to like really do little sippies of this today because otherwise I'm like the end of the energy drink episode like, caffeine overload for me. I had to, like, really do little sippies of this today

because otherwise I'm like the end of the energy drink episode. That was so fucking funny. I'm ready to go run a marathon. If you haven't listened to that spit and silly where we do all the energy drink tastings, do yourself a favor and listen to the last seven minutes where we are out of our minds and Jordan is going to vibrate through the walls like the Flash.

It's so cool. Maybe not like the Flash. Maybe don't. Maybe I'm not like them. They said they're just like the Flash. It's fine. Any one of the Quicksilvers, I'll take. Not the Flash.

They said it's cool. They said Flash is cool. They went back in time and said sorry. He ran so fast he went back in time and said sorry and prevented himself from choking people. And taking over that barn in Vermont, whatever happened there. It turns out that

barn was actually their uncle's barn. That's what you didn't consider. The point is, shut up. Shut the point is shut up it's fine shut the fuck up about it is the point i usually drink no coffee a day no oh but you're an energy drink guy right i mean i am but like i i became an energy drink guy for uh like working out and not even necessarily energy like aminos and shit like that yeah like like amino acids and all that crap and they basically don't make that anymore outside of an energy drink yeah it's just like fuck you

no one no one want everyone can't get that and everyone wants this sort of like powdered form that you just add to water i mean you can yeah pre-workout you can get it in powder only basically there's not like huge like uh it's that or just like bottles or whatever. And so I kind of drank it just like whatever. Working out a lot more recently, I've started, I guess I should do, it's like going on, uh, two. Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, I started buying the powder and yeah, I'm, you're not left with the choice of like, do you get it with caffeine or without? And I get it with, cause I'm just like, I might as well well yeah but i don't i feel like it's hit or miss with me i'm not like caffeine doesn't do anything but like i mean a regular can of an energy drink is usually 300 milligrams of caffeine and a coffee is like 80 to 100 or something um so like the scoops i do are like 140 i'll put like two scoops in and that's, I drink that in probably 20 minutes. Right. And then I might do one more later in the day.

So it's just like, I'll, I'll stop because I just go, I just, I have 600 milligrams of caffeine today. It's not doing anything. I'm not going to drink anymore. I'm just going to get a headache,

but sometimes I'll be bouncing off the walls. I don't know. Yeah. Never seen that. I've never seen that happen. It's true. off the walls. I don't know. Yeah. Never seen that. Never seen that happen. It's true. It's true. I have that with coffee where...

It's not reliable. I can't be like, oh, I'm tired of drinking. That did nothing. You like to drink coffee for the taste of it as well. Oh, I love the taste of coffee. Yeah. I want to have that appreciation as well, but I don't drink enough coffee to like make my way through enough different

roasts or like flavor profiles to ever get acquainted with it yeah i definitely do i just got a new bag of a friend that roasted a place called lamp post here in austin and he's like hey i just roasted this try this and he gave me a bag of it and i tried it i'm like oh fuck it's so fucking good he's like yeah these note like the flavor like let me know what the flavor notes are and I went it's grape and it's strawberry it's very sweet it's giving grape yeah it's giving sweet and

that's the kind of stuff that I really like in coffee is that I feel like I can taste these flavor notes I have like a very detailed way of doing it's like a little ritual that I enjoy and then I drink Starbucks and i go what happened they don't know they don't know how to do it it's like what you said it's everything that you just said but but then but then it's like flavor notes but i go yeah i like flavor notes and

flavor boats i like i like coffee but also like vanilla pump two time and then you just fucking drink it down it's candy so starbucks doesn't have any of the the flavor profile they try to they do have some roasts that are a little bit different like their pike place i don't like and what is it their veranda or whatever the fuck like their regular can you go into a regular starbucks and go can i have regular coffee they have two they typically have two blends um pike's is like their regular roast that they always have, and then they'll cycle out. Different Starbucks will have different stuff,

but there will be Sumatra and different things, like just different roasts at different times of the year. And sometimes you can get it where I hate dark roast, and so when you get to their blonde, even their blonde is too dark. Really? I find their blonde to be like over— It's just—I think it tastes over roasted. So.

This is fascinating, by the way. Legitimately. I just don't like it. I just don't, I don't enjoy it. But then you go to, I mean,

I go to Barrett's and I love a coffee that has like a sour flavor profile, but ends sweet. Like a lemonade? Like a lemonade. You want me to pour lemonade in your coffee or oil? No, that's interesting you say that because, because you're notoriously sensitive to sour flavors. Yes, but the sour flavor that I get from coffee isn't a pucker sour.

It's a sour. It's a sour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get that. I just really like coffee a lot. And people are like, how do you do it? And why are you roasting? It just,

you just watch any number of YouTube videos. Yeah, that was me like two seconds ago. No, no, no. You're like, I don't know the note. Can you teach me? No, no, no. No, I won't.

It's the, 1986. Can you give me a step-by-step? 1986. Why does he keep telling me fucking 1986? And before, people want like the step-by-step and it's like there's a million ways to do it i have a chemex like a pour over that i use and

like a gooseneck kettle but i just bought a hario v60 thing that's like the ceramic piece that goes over like a singular mug and like totally different way of brewing a like a cup of coffee and then if i want i brew iced coffee totally different. There's just a lot you can do with it. Another interesting thing to consider when we're talking about liking coffee in Starbucks

is that the people who drink Starbucks don't like coffee the way you do. Yeah. They like their cake juice. They like their sweet drink

that has no coffee in it. That's why I never go there. It's like when I want my one piece of cake but didn't drink. It's that. And that's why I get it sweet. That's why I never go there. It's like when I want my one piece of cake, but in drink. It's that. And that's why I get it sweet. That's why I was like, oh, I didn't drink that sweet drinks. It's like the only reason I'm going there. I don't go to Starbucks to not get

a fucking caramel frappuccino. The only reason I go. I suck it down. I roll around in pain. I scream and cry from the sugar. The lactose that used to beat me. Now you beat it. I beat it off. Used to. Now you overrun it. Now you beat it. Yep.

I beat it off. I don't think there's anything nice. I beat it off good. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting that stuff from Starbucks if that's what you want. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I do.

Okay. Whoa. I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm the most pro-labor president. I'm the most pro- starbucks guy on this podcast i'm pro you might be here's what readers are saying all right hit me with uh oleato all right let's see how they explain this bad boy oh by the way there were supposed to be three drinks there were three drinks that we were supposed to have that's right what was the disgusting mess i

guess we'll get to it huh the it's the first. We'll start with the thing we didn't read. Oh, the Golden Foam Cold Brew? Yes. What the fuck, man? Come on. That's the one they didn't have. The Oleato Golden Foam Trademark Cold Brew. Cold foam contrasts with dark, smooth cold brew,

yielding an inviting aroma with lush partana-infused cold foam. That reads like a poem. I wanted to be infused with that. The next one is one of the ones we got. Yes. The cold one. Oliato, trademark this time, not on the other one. Cafe latte

with oat milk. Cafe 2Fs. Cafe latte. Why? I don't know. Okay. Starbucks blonde espresso infused with Partana extra virgin olive oil steamed with oat milk. Velvety smooth, deliciously lush. Lush?

Is that how you felt? Do you think the oil lushly sat on top of the drink? I felt lush with oil. It was definitely lush when you forgot to mix it up and you went, oh, fucking olive oil. How'd that get there?

Olietto iced shaken espresso with oat milk and toffee nut. This is the other one that we got. Layers of flavor. Dash. Coffee forward and lightly sweetened

with notes of toasted nuts, rich espresso, and creamy oat milk infused with partana extra virgin olive oil did you get those notes eric uh no it what i got was when you ordered it when i used hope's phone to order this on her app it said it gives you the blow by blow of like the drink is that what they call it yeah here's the blow here's the blow by well here's the drinks they ordered in round one. Let's take a look.

Play by play. We thought they were down and out with the second drink. They got John Madden to do it. Bam! So it's like the espresso but iced and then it says oat milk and you can select different milks or whatever. Oat milk. And then it was like toffee nut

drink whatever syrup four pumps four how was she gonna get the flavor that's and then the other one was hints hints yeah yeah yeah well it pumps it's a hint oh the way a nintendo 64 game had a hint with banjo kazooie it's like hit hit jinjojo. I'm over here. People like you can't pick up the notes, so they got to make them less subtle. That's right. Whoa.

That was Nick. He provoked him. Go. Someone farts. Yeah, love it. Farting and burping. But don't worry. If you thought that was all about the coffee,

there's so much press material. There is. There are paragraphs here. Let me take a little peek. Yuck. I can already tell. Oh, excellent. Hey, settle in.

Yeah. Settle in. And also, I already know who's. Turn the lights down. Oh, you already know. You're about to be taken on a trip. During my first trip to Milan in 1983, back when the logo was good,

I was captivated by the sense of community, connection, and passion for coffee I found in the city's espresso bars. I also liked that there were no unions anywhere. It was that trip that inspired me to bring the ritual of handcrafted espresso to Starbucks to America. Oleato represents the next revolution in coffee that brings together an alchemy of nature's finest ingredients. He's an alchemist.

Yeah. Starbucks Arabica coffee beans and part on a cold pressed extra virgin olive oil, said Howard Schultz, Starbucks interim chief executive officer at the time of this quote. Today I feel just as inspired as I did 40 years ago. Oleato has opened our eyes to fresh new possibilities and a transformational way to enjoy our daily

coffee. It's really the key to all this. Hail Oleato. Could you imagine drinking this every day? No Today I feel just as inspired as I did 40 years ago Except for the 15 years ago When I left When I decided to leave

But then not inspired 5 years ago But inspired again like last year My bouts of inspiration Bounce wildly But when I'm in I'm in The next revolution Don't worry there's coffee Dude

Put this in it He's a genius And again I guess like Just by nature USA USA The thing that just sits at the top Right

Are they doing it wrong? Is there a way to not just have it sit at the top? No! I don't... I feel like for it to be a revolution, you would have had to have done that and then went, wow, it works. And I feel like you did it and went, oh, it just kind of sits on the top. Revolution! Well, it's a revolution

because that's what you need to do to your cup to mix it back in. Oh! Nice. When creating the beverages, we were inspired by the rich history and origin stories of coffee and olive oil what's your favorite olive oil origin story i don't know they spider-man yeah they rebooted it so many times sam raimi out of it get me in the oil verse i like i like toby mcguire's version of olive oil honestly yo you Yo, you see the Hesse MCU? Whoa! I mean, the M doesn't make sense. No.

Origin stories of coffee and olive oil. Two of nature's most transcendent ingredients, said Amy Dilger, principal beverage developer for Starbucks. Infusing Starbucks coffee with olive oil

yielded a velvety smooth rich texture with the buttery round flavors. Don't. As opposed to square flavors. Round flavors imparted by the olive oil perfectly pairing with the soft chocolatey notes of the coffee. One thing that's special about Partanas, olives,

is their uniquely nutty, slightly sweet flavors. Think of that rich smoothness of a buttery caramel. It's a natural compliment to our coffee. Whether you enjoy all the olio hot or cold, you get this really luxurious textural experience. Again, I can't even, like getting even the velvety smooth,

I can't just anytime they pass, they say something infusing. It just sits on the top. It's not infused. Do you't just, anytime they pass, they say something infusing. It just sits on the top. It's not infused. Do you know what an infusion is? Hang on, hang on. I'm going to take a video. Take a picture of this.

I'm going to take a video. This one is so separated. The light here. It's great, yeah. Okay, so this is what it looks like separated. And it's dark because Nick turned down the lights for the story. And you're looking at this going, why is there a layer of something? Is it the light?

That's it. It looks like lemon meringue. It does. It looks like a rind. It's so you can get your daily input. You knew who wanted this? Unions wanted this. Is there fat in this, though?

I hope not. Uh-oh. Is there fat in this? Is there any sugar in the four pumps of toffee nut and they fucking slammed in this thing oh it's just yellow at the bottom look at it oh so many it looks like pulp so many descriptions and notes of this and that that they're putting in there and then you drink it and it just tastes like coffee am i missing something it's so gross looking well jordan let's get into the review yeah yeah so that's the important thing here is this is a limited item this is you just spilled it everywhere do you think i care oh i thought you're talking to me and i fucking care take that shane um what what do you guys think of this thing because it it is this is their venture into something i don't really understand but this is their this is a

revolution so hop on or fuck off all right because you're gonna you're gonna get little man whether you're a part of it or not right so. So take your beans and beat it. Nice. Everyone's going to look so dumb for making fun of this in five years when we're all drinking olive oil coffee. I'm going to be oiled up. I'm going to be infused with bags of olive oil. I'm going to be like that guy in Watchmen. That's exactly who I'm going to be. I don't need lube when I've got oil.

Slips all the way down there and they go, don't worry about it. Slipped right out of the script. Nice. Slipped right out of the show. I was going to say show and script. That's why I said script. So we got two of these drinks, Jordan.

A hot and a cold. Hot and cold. For whatever reason, the cold one seems to, like, when you shake it and then you drink it before it has the chance to re-separate. Yeah. It seems like it mixes in a little bit better. Agreed. Try as I might on the hot one.

Agreed. It's always just... It's just olive oil. Olive oil. Yeah. My first swig of it was, I went, oh, oh, wow. I had all of the cold one first yeah it's a mixed results and then i went oh i forgot about that one took a sip and i was like god god it's really olive oil

forward on that one yeah um but you know like i don't know what else they i don't know what kind of oat milk they're using not it's definitely got to be sweetened with some shit because it's way over sweetened. It doesn't taste like... My coffee every day is a little splash of oat milk and just regular dark roast coffee. It's not that sweet. It's the oak nut.

But you don't really taste it when it mixes in well. But when it isn't mixed in, you're drinking olive oil, and that sucks. Yep. That's not pleasant. Nope.

Yeah. To drink. And really, it becomes a, you better keep tending it, or else you're going to forget, and you're just going to get a bunch of olive oil. Hey, watch the fuck out. So my advice is, if you want something like this, order this, but tell them to hold the olive oil and see if they will.

Because I think it's a fine drink without it. So your idea is just to get the coffee? Yeah. Well, his idea is get this, but hold the olive oil. Yeah. Because it's limited. Yeah. Can I get a gin and tonic?

No tonic? Once this is gone gone he can't order this hold the olive oil right the olive oil will be gone and then he can never have this again exactly get i want the oleado ice shaken espresso with oat milk and toffee nut hold the oleado hold the oleado i'm gonna take one more the hot one. Sip and then hit me with your number. Yeah, that's not good. 42. Okay.

Michael? Yeah, so I drank the iced one first and it was easy to mix. Right, all of the olive oil is left over. Right. It's kind of, well, no, trust me, not all of it. You drink most of the olive oil. I got a good amount kind of well no trust me not all of it there was you drink you drink most i got a good amount of it inside me um and it was like mixed at best i couldn't notice right yes it was like okay scenario is like i'm drinking coffee what the fuck should i be tasting

here exactly where are the notes where are my 16 pumps right and it was fine it was just like i don't i would not order that over my delicious caramel frappuccino sometimes with ribbon crunch i want a little crunch i want a little crunch okay give them the crunch that's like this is just weird it's it's pretty good unless you wait too long watch out that seems to be the general consensus with everyone where it's like why yeah i just don't i don't get it uh and then cut to that oh oh i got it it's right when you taste it i don't is i went is this what is what the other one should it taste like because it's not good it's absolutely not good um i don't know why you'd get this and i do feel like it further suffers because you're at Starbucks, which to me is tasty sugar coffee place.

You already have that all the time. And you went, check out this new one. It sucks. Right? This is nothing. This is making fucking chocolate donuts at the donut shop. What are you doing? I don't know.

We're out of jelly. What the fuck? I don't know if Howard Schultz knows anything about coffee, but he was really trying to contribute, I think. He's like, finally, I have an idea about coffee. And he's just like, guys, I'm here to help. Listen to me. Everyone start drinking olive oil. Check out this idea.

And everyone's afraid to say no. Oh, yeah, definitely. We call it the Schultz effect. I think every company has a name for it. Yeah, definitely. I'm going to call it a 35. Wow. Fair enough.

That's a 38.5, which I think is on the money. How's everyone's tummies feeling? I'm as volatile as usual. Nick is not only nodding, he's almost triumphantly celebrating if there's like a phrase or a word that goes with what he just did

it's hell yeah brother that's what happens at the end of Gears of War with any of the other guys you're one of the guy and he's the other guy looks like a fist bump in the air his arm is four feet wide so that's Starbucks guy and he's the other guy. Looks like a fist bump in the air. Yeah, his arm is four feet wide. Absolutely.

So that's Starbucks and that's a wrap. That's what you think. We still have a snack. Snack attack. The thing you fed me? Yep. No! I knew it was a trap. You thought it was a meal.

It was actually. It was a meal. No, it can't be a meal because this is Snack Attack. Yeah, the snack is Grimace's birthday meal. It was definitely a meal. From McDonald's. It was a straight up combo meal. Yeah. Right, but it's a snack.

But a straight up combo meal that was a Big Mac fries and a shake. Sounds like a snack. Or chicken nuggets fries and a shake. That's why it wasn't the main food. Are we going to review the Big Mac? It's their weakest attempt yet at, and a shake. That's why it wasn't the main food. Because what the fuck? Are we going to review the Big Mac? It's their weakest attempt yet at making it a thing. I'm sorry.

I'm just saying this guy, this literal fucking chucklehead over here. No, you. Just went, what are we going to do? Make an episode on the Big Mac? Or do we just did a fucking coffee? The audacity to live in two separate universes and refuse to have them touch. No multiversing. No multiversing.

Can you imagine what a shit episode that would be? That would be ridiculous. What could we possibly say about the Big Mac? It was another situation. What I would have said was yum, at least. We were about to have another situation of, hang on, where the fuck is the food in here? And then I saw what was happening and I went,

you can frame it however you want. I'm getting a goddamn sandwich. And that is the reason, that was to me, the trade-off for, oh good, we can do Starbucks, a place we haven't done but has limited stuff, as long as you get to eat and you got to eat McDonald's. For some reason, the restaurant we fucked around with. I didn't have to even say a word. Yeah, the conversation was, I guess Grimace's shake could be a snack.

Also, you're welcome, buddy. Grimace is putting that guy back on the map. Oh, Grimace is back. You're welcome. Yeah. Yeah, I thought we took him away, though. Yeah, I thought he was going to Whataburger. We gave him to Whataburger, but I think they lost the rights.

Yeah, I think so. Oh, because they didn't use them. Yeah. And they reverted. So, yeah, it went back to like eminent domain. That's why Sony had a reboot. The olive oil franchise a couple times. Like again, it's not that bad.

I start to think, am I feeling bad? When I think about drinking olive oil. I don't understand it. I don't get it. When I start thinking about my stomach, I better poop it out. I want to see like greasy shit. That's how I know it's going to be separated the way that it did in the drink.

So what's up with the shake though? Okay. So I got the press release. He's got the juice. I've got the juice. We know birthdays with McDonald's hold a special place in our fans' hearts. Now we're inviting them to create new birthday memories with us in honor of everyone's favorite purple bestie. Whoa.

Get your party hats ready. Cause, not because, cause we're celebrating Grimace's birthday. Starting June 12th and for a limited time, fans can get in on the festivities with Grimace's birthday meal featuring a special purple shake inspired by Grimace's iconic color and sweetness. His iconic sweetness. Yo, he's sweetness. I always thought he was just like a shitty chicken nugget. Me too. Plus, a choice of a Big Mac or 10-piece McNugget and a side of our world-famous french fries.

Read all about his birthday here. So here's the thing about Grimace. He was originally a milkshake guy, right? Was he? Yes. What does that mean? He had six arms and he was like a milkshake dude. Fuck you.

Yeah. My Grimace never had six arms. I'm telling you, six arms is... What does that mean? He had six arms And he was like a milkshake dude Fuck you Yeah My Grimace never had six arms I'm telling you Six arms is What year? 86? I won't say He doesn't know So Grimace used to be a Goro?

He was a Oh Real Goro situation He was a Grimace Grimace was a Was in a Goro Nick is so easy to please

That's freak shit He looks like a bug He's running away with all my milk And he's a Grimapillar And he's all about milkshakes That's like his thing Are you sure he wasn't all about getting milked Well I think that's what we drank

Alright anyway he's a freak bug Not anymore weird nice chicken nugget arms What's well I think that's what we drank when he utters alright anyway he's a freak bug not anymore weird now he's a chicken nugget with arms what's what are we sucking the guy's juice he's made of what it's his birthday

and he's purple and he's iconic sweetness sucking him out yeah so we're sucking off Grimace birthday style uh huh Mr. President what a burger

looking for you. It's such a purple shake, and it tastes- It's purple as fuck. And it tastes like- It tastes purple. Berry cereal? It tastes like lavender candy, dude. It does look like lavender candy.

Let me tell you this, of like, especially again, coming after that blowout Starbucks. Yeah. The Grimmish Shake, one very purple, two probably the boldest thing McDonald's done in years Years! And that like, I'm like, holy shit this, I don't know what this tastes like but it doesn't taste like the six things they have

Exactly, yeah. And it's not a McRib and some guy doesn't just like to eat it and they put his name on it yeah and i'm just like like i don't know what i'm not even saying it's good or bad but i'm like this is something they made something new yeah who's the chief food officer for the grimace like crazy maybe they got really they want to give him status yeah i think they i think they got big plans for him. Take over. I haven't seen Ronald in a minute. Curse his back, bitch.

Whoa, but seriously though, what the fuck flavor is it? I don't know. I looked it up. I can't find it. It's people. It's essentially like thrillers. In the fucking try guys and stuff going like, I think it tastes like this. McDonald's doesn't tell you? No, it's an iconic purple shake. No, it doesn't tell you no it's no it's an iconic purple shake with no it

doesn't tell you the flavor you can't say iconic and then goddamn color okay this is infuriating me um i will say it tastes purple it's not it does like normal definitely tastes purple bro it could be it could be even dabbling in boysenberry yep honestly yeah i'm just saying it's like it's purple like good true blue boys like a hint a hint of something floral like a lavender. And then there is a little berry there. It's not just like your standard fruit. It's the most flavorful thing at McDonald's. So in an episode where we went to somewhere else,

get this. That's what I'm saying. I'm just saying get the McDonald's. Fuck the Starbucks. Yeah. Go get the Grimace Shake. Just to try it. Pull up and just say, hi, I i want grimace in my mouth large start start singing happy birthday mr grimace

and they'll let you milk the grimace or whatever it's pretty cool yeah yeah they let you are they back there is that how they're getting out they're milking the grimace yeah man yeah uh what size whatever size makes me like grimace what's the biggest grimace. Oh, man. Yeah. What size? Whatever size makes me like Grimace. What's the biggest Grimace size you have? Hey, Grimace, fill the cup. I feel like people are going to be really split on whether or not they like it, though. Yeah, but here's the thing. They better not be split on their boldness.

You cannot deny the boldness. You better not come back and go, tastes like vanilla. I was just looking at the whipped cream, though. I was teasing the Grimace. It was good, though. I was just looking at the whipped cream though. I was teasing the grits. It was good though. I liked it. That and the Big Mac were the best thing here. Well, yeah, of course. And the other best thing just staring at that bag of Albanese gummy bears

for an hour and three minutes. It's right there. Oh, Shane has Albanese on his desk. I know. I restrained myself, but I just kept thinking they're good. That's something I would want to eat. I want to know Michael's rating first. This? I'm going to, I'm going to, I liked it.

I'm not even sure what it is. I liked it. I'm going to go 88. I knew it. Wow. I was thinking, I was thinking 88. Because I was, that was our ticket number at the McDonald's. Oh, that's right.

It was. Actually, it was 888, I think. I'm going to give it 67. Wow, that's right. It was. Actually, it was 888, I think. I'm going to give it 67. Wow, that's kind of... I was not as impressed with the flavorness, but I was impressed with the boldness. Okay. Okay.

77.5. That's fine. Yeah, I think it's low for what this is. I don't... I mean, here's the thing, Eric. Your number was lower. Here's the thing, Eric. Do I think it's low for this

yes do I in the sanctity of face jam think that's a reasonable number of course because I'm expecting a Jordan that's true

and so it was perfectly reasonable expectations it was in the zone right it was more of a zone 3 maybe a zone 2 but the zone was there i understand as that's

why i wanted you to go first so that i could i like get my score accordingly yeah that's fine and i was confident enough in both myself and your uh more particular abilities that it would end up just fine yep 70 that's why we're always right you said that uh so you can send us snacks if you want to get part of Snack Attack. You can call Michael with snacks. Send to Face Jam, Care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. No, I'm recording a podcast. You keep calling me. You can come to the Rat and Grackle Pub at RTX July 7th through 9th.

I got him off the phone. Nice. RTXAustin.com for all the details. Our Pride merch is out now. You get that rainbow switch fork shirt. You got a sticker. It looks fucking sick. Get the sauce packet shirt.

Oh, yeah, that's right. You could get pronged full of pride. Yeah, you can. Welcome. You follow at Face Jam pod to keep up to date with everything.

Spitting Silly is next week. More cat. We've started. There's a cat episode that we do with Spitting Silly. Yeah, we just did the one. Yeah. That's what you guys think.

What? Yeah. Wait till the end of the episode for the announcement about the episode. It'll all make sense. I haven't listened to that one. Yeah, that's pretty interesting. There's a reason. Okay.

Your memory was taken. Do we want to announce what we're eating at RTX? Yeah, now seems like a good time to do it, huh? So we are going to announce it so that way you can eat it before our panel. It better not be just a drink. Oh, okay. Then let me go to my backup one um okay so we are going to eat a local austin spot that's not too far from the convention center so if you're in town for austin if you're in town for rtx in austin got it um you can come also not with us Stubbs BBQ a place I don't know that any of us have ever been

I've been there for a music show for a concert but also it's a restaurant but I can't recall delicious sauces I buy their sauce all the time so we're gonna eat that before

our episode and everything and you can as well I'm not gonna tell you what we're gonna so we're gonna eat that before our episode and everything and you can as well I'm not gonna tell you what we're getting cause it's not like this is probably gonna be you should probably just get one of everything

yeah that's probably about what we're getting play it safe but this isn't like oh what's like the limited food at Stubbs no Stubbs it's special for RTX

yeah exactly so we want you to be able to get it as well and then you can bring your rating and not tell us because I mean you can like have it in mind right and then when we give our rating you can be like oh a little low or oh man that's high you know or right on the money yeah make sure you write it down before the show yeah otherwise we're gonna think you're

no we'll do it we'll have we'll have like note cards ready for you to write your score yeah oh yeah look under your seat nick will pass out note cards and um for you to write your score down. Oh, yeah? Look under your seat. Nick will pass out note cards, and then you can write down, and then you can hold it up, but we won't read them. But you can do it. You will do it.

I'll be looking away. You will do it. You will do it. Yeah. So that's what we're doing. Stubs for RTX. You go to rtxaustin.com for all the information. Come by the Rat and Grackle Pub.

All the good stuff. Ka-chow! Oh, wow. You fucking Lightning McQueen. Jordan, you want to take us out? Yeah. This is a long one, guys. Yeah.

Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat and drink food and rate the food and or drink. This was a weird one, guys. He did it. He made it weird. I can't believe Nick fucking did that. He made it weird again. Holy yuck.

Go away. Or go fuck yourself