100% Eat - Taco Bell Cheesy Chicken Crispanada

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review the Taco Bell Cheesy Chicken Crispanada so you know if it’s worth eating. They also talk about human dog beds, reverting back to teenagers, Skyrim, Jordans new glasses and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's the sound of unaged whiskey transforming into Jack Daniel's Tennessee whiskey in Lynchburg, Tennessee. Around 1860, Nearest Green taught Jack Daniel how to filter whiskey through charcoal for a smoother taste, one drop at a time. This is one of many sounds in Tennessee with a story to tell. To hear them in person, plan your trip at tnvacation.com. Tennessee sounds perfect. Welcome to Face Jam. Whoa! The show where we try every new fast food creation and let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, on the floor alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers, who's in a chair.

Jordan, how are you? I truly feel like the audience now because I don't know who's talking. I can't see him. Check this out. There he is. I got a little Jordan hole. This is my Jordan hole.

That's what I'm calling it. I like the name. No notes. I can see Eric because he's behind you. Eric, now that I have the gloves and you're in position, get the piano wire. No notes. I can't see how, I can see Eric because he's behind you. He, Eric, now that I have the gloves and you're in position, get the piano wire. No! You're about to play some music. I gotta, I gotta

say, this was quite the long con. It was, yeah. It all led to this. Get it now! Um, today we're reviewing Taco Bell's Cheesy Chicken Crispinata. That's it. Can we talk about the name right off the bat? Absolutely.

Did they really need to call it something else? That's what they do with all their stuff. And pinatas are already crispy. I agree. They gots to call it stuff. Taco Bell does it with everything. It's to be able to copyright it, right? Because what if this is a big hit and then crispinata becomes such a thing?

Synonymous with class and comfort and luxury in the fast food world. But if they could also just not copyright it because it's a food that already exists in like the public domain and multiple

cultures. Right, and that's what exists there. But do you know what exists at Taco Bell? The Crispinada. The Crispinada. Well, the cheesy chicken Crispinada. It's a that's what exists there. But do you know what exists at Taco Bell? The Crispinata. The Crispinata. Well, the cheesy chicken Crispinata. It's a cheesy chicken Crispinata. We can't keep commercializing? You can. These glasses have fucked you up. Yeah, these glasses can only

do so much. Sorry, Gracie. I'm taking them off. Wait, is Gracie here? Yeah, Gracie's over here. Yeah, can you hear her but not see her? Yeah, I need a mirror on the corner. Look at the TV. I need a security theft mirror. No, I'm too low. No, are you?

I need a high up mirror angled down. Michael, do you want to talk about why you're on the floor today? Just felt like it. Okay. Just felt like a good day to be on the floor. I will say, Nick did a great job pivoting to allow floor microphone. You're welcome. Yeah.

And ensuring it happened. It seems like he went through my bag, took the microphone and cable, and then plugged it in over here. Okay, that's a yes. It just seems that way because that's what it is. What was the point of the chairs? He wanted to

make a fort? Why did he put on gloves? It's like a fort, but also kind of like an awning, like some sunshade. This is also the second. That would block the air vent. Now, here's the thing. That's true.

I'll tell you that. Here's the thing. Gracie couldn't see what you had created. She got curious. Walk around and look. What do you think? What's your takeaway? Stunning.

Big sort of like approving nod. Innovative, stunning. Yeah. Imagine if I grabbed the third chair. It would be even better. If Taco Bell was naming your little chair for it, what do you think they'd call it? Charrito. That's not terrible.

It's not. Honestly, too bad. And then we could do. It sounds like it's in line. We could do like a nacho Doritos Charrito. Oh. That's like to plus it up. Sprinkle some dust on me.

If you want to see pictures of Michael's Chirito, at Face Jam Pod is where you can check it out. So I, on Monday night, may have drank too much. This is Tuesday we're recording. Yeah, so just a little bit of hungover, and I thought floor would be good. High energy, low altitude. Yes, that's smart.

Is what I'm going with. When you're hungover, you can't have both. No. For being the closer he got to the floor, the more energy came out of him. Because when he was upright, low energy. Down low, good energy. And he really wanted to be horizontal

too. He was trying so hard to get horizontal in that chair. I get that. If we had a basement, I'd be bouncing off the walls emotionally. That'd be awesome. So here's the thing. I get that. If we had a basement, I'd be bouncing off the walls emotionally. That'd be awesome. So here's the thing. I started talking about thinking about rolling around on the floor podcast style and for a

set reasons and then Gracie jumped in and goes, yeah, me too. I want to lay on the floor. Oh, yeah. Not because she's feeling bad, but she just really wanted to be on the floor. She's like, we should do a floor episode where we're all on the floor. But only if we get the do a floor episode where we're all on the floor. And I said, it makes me just... But only if we get the dog beds. Yeah.

And then she said she wants a human-sized dog bed that they sell. If anyone from Pluffle is listening, please send me one. Also from Pluffle is listening. Then she showed us an $8,200 hot dog couch. With a leather wiener pillow. Which is great because suddenly the dog bed that cost $200 Seems like a really good deal Anyway Michael's on the floor

Out of necessity and Gracie just wanted to be On the floor It makes me think of kids you know when they have those Rugs that it's like a city street And you play trucks on them And then also when we Did this from home and she's on her couch kicking her feet. Sleepover style.

Yeah. Who do you think is the cutest boy in Math Class? But that's cool. Who's the cutest boy in Face Jam? It's the monkey. Yeah, it's always the monkey. What we should do, though, is if Gracie does a little floor for it over there in the future, in addition to the microphones, we also get like a string and two cups.

And then that way Gracie and I can talk and have secret conversations. Next week. Yeah. Next week. I'll have my human dog bed once I get in contact with the people. My human dog bed. She also showed us a picture. She's like,

look, it's a dog bed for humans. And it was a picture of a person and a dog inside this bed. But it's not made for dogs. That's, it looks like it's not made for humans. You're going to get a human dog bed for humans, and it was a picture of a person and a dog inside this bed. Right, but it's not made for dogs. It looks like it's not made for humans. You're going to get a human dog bed? I want to get a human dog. Look, kind of like Nick's dog.

Yeah, but more than just the eyes. Keep going. The world's first human dog bed. That's what it says on the website. As seen on Shark Tank. I need one. Kerfuffle, what are you doing? There's no way Mark Cuban bought into this.

No, no, no. That's why, well, he might have been. That's why he had to sell the Mavericks. He said, I'm out of here. Maybe not. Why? Maybe he was like, I need more money to put into human dog beds. I need to get Pomple off the ground, dude.

We got to get these dog beds going. It's Pluffle. If he takes all the money he made from selling the Mavericks and invests it in the human dog bed, he'll make triple back and he can just buy the Mavericks and invests it in the human dog bed, he'll make triple back and he can just buy the Mavericks back and another team at the same time. Wow. That's just business 101. Yeah.

Yeah, I watch a lot of business TikToks and they're like, first thing you do, you take $10,000 and then you find a way to triple it. That's right. And I'm like, why wasn't I doing that? Okay, let me talk to you about this and then we'll eventually talk about Taco Bell. And I'm like, why wasn't I doing that? Okay, let me talk to you about this, and then eventually we'll talk about Taco Bell. Been really into Instagram influencers

who are like money guys, but they're like 14. Okay. Cool. They are, guys, you just got to go out there and you got to start earning. Get on your grind. Wake up early.

It's like, that's awesome. This guy's never held a girl's hand. This is so cool when he's rich he'll be able that's right that's step one it's crazy how like media literacy and like sort of like a monkey see monkey do thing occurred where people see attention people see the way these other people make videos And they go well this is how you make videos Right this is what my videos are It's like derivative of something derivative In a way that tastes like what this Baja Blast is Right yeah

Eventually it's just this kind of faded color There's no syrup It's just lightish blue That stinks I'm very excited for Baja Blast I got neither Baja nor Blast You got blasted alright Yeah

It's been boozled Yo talk about grinding You just thinking Just talking about that My dentist says I grind in my sleep I think Thanks for the compliment bro That's right baby

Dude are you shredding it up? Dude that's that Dude that's that grind set All day long Yeah you never stop grinding All night long Are you earning in your sleep? Wall Street? Money never sleeps, baby. Neither do I.

It's a problem. And my tennis keeps going, stop, stop! I grind to the gums. That's my new slogan. You know what they say? You ain't grinding. He's got his teeth to the gumstone. We've got to become money influencers, guys.

I really want the 14-year-olds who talk about the economy and the mindset grind set to just have it be focused on the 14-year-old economy. It's like tech decks are hot right now. What is the 14-year-old economy in 2024? Hopefully it's tech cool. It's like tech decks are hot right now. What is the 14 year old economy in 2024? Hopefully it's tech decks again. Do we know? Oh God, please God, I hope so. I really hope it would be tech decks. That'd be sick. Dude, being in your 30s with no kids

just means getting to be a teenager again, which is very cool. Have I told you about my one wheel? And he has kids. I guess it's just being a teenager again regardless Yeah dude That's awesome Dude Just talking about tech decks

I'm pretty sure Because it was just at a glance Yeah I was back at Onewheel Buying more shit Because I keep buying crap To put on my Onewheel Onewheel if you're listening to this

Little accessories Come on Yeah if you're listening to this You keep getting me What else are you putting on the Onewheel? Just different color kits and shit Oh cool, colors I wasn't satisfied with when I bought it because

now I know it. Now it's like my horse and I'm like, I love you and I need to make you beautiful. And so I'm changing the color on my bumper kit. It's got a braided ponytail. Exactly, dude. I got all my banana stickers. Appaloosa. Have you seen it with all the stickers on it?

No, I haven't. I'll bring it in. I'm surprised you don't have it right now. Well, he's on the ground right now. He's too hungover, man. But when I wake up, when I fire a light. He's out of his sport. I'm going to have a Madam Web type vision of me riding on my one wheel. You're going to be in three places at once.

And then I'm going to be like, my future could have been so different. So different. And I'm going to get on it. And you're going to be like, look at all And then I'm going to be like My future could have been so different And I'm going to get on it And you're going to be like look at all those sticks That's what people call stickers But the point is Sticks are hot right now They have a little fucking one wheel tech deck Basically

Like a tiny one Is that a one wheel tech deck? I'm not going to buy it But I'll buy it later And then be tricked into buying more things Is that a one-wheel tech deck? I'm not going to buy it, but I'll buy it later. Tech decks are back. And then be tricked into buying more things because it's $100 and you get free shipping. I'm already spending $13 on this thing. I might as well spend another $83 or $87.

Yeah, you're right there. I'm right there, dude. I'm wasting money if I don't. I'll get another color handle or something. Tracy just realized you're wearing gloves, Michael. Well, I just keep seeing it. I can't see anything but his hand occasionally brushes the wall.

We kept talking about the gloves. We've talked about them before the show even started. Y'all have talked about them. And you were in the room. My ears were not set to accept the invite of your conversation. She was still trying to do connections. It did not go well.

I'll make this hole a little bit bigger. She got that financial advice. Jordan hole is bigger, but now I have more Eric shield. Oh, that's good. Always a laugh. You know, small price to pay to have the Jordan hole bigger, but the trade-off is worth it. Check this out, though.

When Eric sees this coming, come on. You're done. He's pointing a gloved hand at me, but it's a gun. And then he's shooting me. Yeah, and now you're dead. He got you. He got you. You're dead.

Stop talking. You're dead. No fingerprints. At least my final meal was the cheesy chicken crispinata deluxe box meal that Nick wanted so desperately. Let's get into that, too. He did help. I asked before he went. I went in our Slack channel because no one else was here, and I said,

hey, we're just going to get this thing, but that's not going to be enough. What else do you want? What's the next move? And Nick said, three Doritos Locos Tacos. Yeah, I'm surprising Nick was the first one to engage. Yeah, that was exactly what I anticipated.

And then he said, unless we all do the crispy, Crispinada like value box or whatever. Highly recommend. The other option. It came with the Crispinada, a Chalupa, a five. Beefy five layer burrito. Okay. Tracy's favorite. A sin of twists that they did not give us. No. And drinks.

Drank, which you all got screwed. Yes. By you. I mean, I didn't make the goddamn thing. Didn't you fill them? He didn't know. How the fuck would I know? But you could have let us all on the Mountain Dew train. Right. That's not true. You went all on the shitty Baja Blast train. I had Mountain Dew, and it was perfect.

We had no save via the car. Well, you did because Eric said for you, he said get five Baja Blasts. So I got four Baja Blasts and Mountain Dew. So you guys decided to stay in the car and talk about Skyrim. You did that. You know what?

You decided to stay in the car. And talk about Skyrim. That's true. There wasn't a decision. Eric said I only need one of you. He needs one. He needs one. He needs one. He didn't say you couldn't come. One special helper to come one of you. He said he only needs one. He needs one.

He didn't say you couldn't come. I need one special helper to come and help me. Yeah, and he picked Michael. No, actually, I rolled out of the car. Michael volunteered himself. Yeah, Michael and I. I rolled out of the car into the parking lot. I think Michael needed to get out of the car to get some fresh air.

Yeah, dude. And now I need to get some fresh floor. Fresh air in the Taco Bell. Yeah, dude. It was nice. We showed up in the Taco Bell, me and Michael. There's no one else in the Taco Bell. Yeah, dude. It was nice. We showed up in the Taco Bell, me and Michael. There's no one else in the Taco Bell to order or whatever. There are two guys working, making the food.

It takes them a minute, and they look at us finally, and they go, do you guys need to order? Because they have the big iPad screens for children, but it's where you order your food. It's where people without glasses order. And we said, God, it takes forever to order it. And then we said, oh, no, I'm here for an online order for Eric. And the guy went, oh, you're going to want to have a seat.

This is going to be a minute. And Michael went, okay. You texted us in the car and I was like, okay, cool. So that's when we started rolling for Ride Along. So if you go watch Ride Along, you can watch the first part where I think they explained Skyrim to Gracie. Gracie was just there as we were talking about it. Again, I was

physically there, mentally somewhere. Mentally in the connections. Thinking about cinnamon, what's cinnamon doing? You got the Dovahkiin, Gracie. It's about the Dovahkiin. Did they tell you that word? Did you use the word Dovahkiin? I'm going to's about the Dovahkiin. Did they tell you that word? Did you use the word Dovahkiin?

I'm going to be so honest, like I zoned out within six seconds. Well, hey, thank you for being honest. And you can see it in the video. I think my eye just like plays over and I'm gone. Her eyes go two different ways like a chameleon. Like they just go, uh. I caught myself staring at you two's silhouettes in the Taco Bell window. I want to hear the inner monologue. We should do another cut of that video where Nick and Jordan are talking and it goes.

And it's just Gracie going, I wonder what they're doing in there. Slow zoom in on Gracie and then just voiceover of Gracie being like, I wonder what Cinnamon said. It's muffled voices and then just a. There's just nothing Just a thought bubble of cinnamon And then Nick comes in, fosforodon And Gracie's like, what? You start in the cart

and you're, something, something and there's a yarrel, they use the word yarrel What's a yarrel? I don't know There's yarrels everywhere, they want to chop your head off or your dick off or something Something's getting chopped off I was I was talking about the

Dawn Guard quest line and how It sucks you can't And then like Serana helps you Gracie knows And you can't marry Serana at the end I thought it was a bummer Vampire or werewolf Vampire

Jordan told me about how he fell in love Yeah but he couldn't marry Vampire or werewolf? Vampire Okay she'd be vampire She'd be night sucker Well Jordan told me about How he fell in love So Yeah but he couldn't marry My character fell in love With Serana

They went on a quest together Holly listen It's not like Yeah Exactly No I was telling her I was like Me and my vampire girlfriend

Gotta go to the soul cave Yeah And we gotta find Valerica That's funny But we can't get married So then she's gonna heal herself and then we can be happy. She's a human now. Does that spoil it though?

With you two? Yeah, hopefully. We're adventuring still. We went to the throat of the world. The throat of the world? Yeah, throat of the world, dude. That sounds gross. Throat go to the world. Nah, dude. That's where all the voices come from, dude. Yeah, all the thums.

Yeah. What is this game called? It's called Skyrim. It's called the Elder Scrolls V Skyrim. It just came out. Oh my god, this is like not what I thought it would be. It was released just a few months ago. It re-releases on the same day every year.

It does. So just wait. I'm playing the 13th version. I picture there to be more color happening. No, it's very dreary medieval world. There's some gray. There's some stonework. Beautiful stonework.

Beautiful stonework. Check out the Khajiit. They're very cool. Ooh, the Khajiit. Yeah. And they also, you want to take your horse and you want to run

and jump diagonally up mountains. Yeah. Actually, very good tip. Just constantly. Very good tip. Just constantly. Very good tip. You get up there so fast.

You think you can't go up because it's a zero degree angle? It's a sheer cliff. It's just vertical. Doesn't matter. Just jump diagonally. The horse cares not. The horse cares not. Now, I will say this is my first time playing through Skyrim.

I'm a little late to it. A little. You just missed the button. I don't know if you guys, when you played it, heard this one NPC when you're walking around. He's like, I used to be an adventurer like you. And then I took... Took an arrow to the knee. Yeah.

He took an arrow to the knee. You heard it too? Yeah. Oh, man. It cracked me up. I've heard that one. It was really funny. Have you seen the mod where they put Macho Man Randy Savage in it?

But I like they do. They're like Nordic people, right? So they're like hello, welcome to the town. Everyone speaks in the whole game. Everyone's doing a very bad Norwegian accent. Everyone's like, the dragon has come to the crops and they will attack

the villager. There's two types of male NPCs. There's the bad Norwegian accent and Jim Cummings. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's either. It's either.

Easy. This guy's definitely Tigger or the bad Norwegian accent. Are you talking about Cat from CatDog? Yeah. You know it, baby. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's him. We say he's Tigger.

He's also Winnie the Pooh. He's Winnie the Pooh. He's got it all, baby. He's Goofy's neighbor. What the fuck is his name? Pete. Pete. He's Pete. Isn't it Big Pete? Yeah, it's Big Pete. Listen here, little asshole.

And he's about a hundred characters in Skyrim. He's also about a hundred years old. Well, hey, how about we get to a haiku? Do we have to? Yeah. Hang on. It's a different show. Nick kept making inappropriate jokes about the name Skyrim. Is Nick to a haiku? Do we have to? Yeah. We'll talk about Skyrim. It's a different show. Nick kept making inappropriate jokes about the name Skyrim. Is Nick doing his...

Well, that's why you have to listen... I think you equally made a few inappropriate jokes. That's why you have to watch Ride Along. FishingPod.com. Slash. First, if you want to sign up. Oh, okay. Yeah, go ahead.

The Taco Bell Way. Make classic dish. Dumb new name. Oh, wow. Dude, Jordan's really against this name. Yeah. He's not wrong. The last time we did Taco Bell, when I also made fun of how they named things,

I guess it's the only thing I can go to. That's fine. It was the Enchirito last time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could also. I think this one's worse. This one's a less creative name. The next time we do Taco Bell, you could also just talk about how it's not real meat or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could also I think this one's worse. This one's the least creative, a less creative name. The next time we do Taco Bell, you could also just talk about how

it's not real meat or something. Yeah. Yeah. The meat, scientifically proven to be false. Sometimes it's horse. When you're lucky. Do you guys want to learn about Taco Bell? Yeah, let's learn, dude. I don't know a goddamn thing. Well, that's good. Let me tell you right

now, from the floor in my fort, but legs out now. It's true. It's different. Yeah. I'm using my chair now, like the top of my chair, like an ottoman. Yeah, this is good. We're going to get like fort looks, like a lot of like fort look posts. And you know what's funny?

I can throw an added bonus. This, as I mentioned, this is the second fort I made today. Yeah. I'll give you the pictures of the first fort I made. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do your first fort. It's much better. Yeah, your first fort rocks.

It's much comfier, and it's a secret nap you the pictures of the first fort I made. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's much better. Yeah, your first fort rocks. It's much comfier and it's a secret nap spot where no one will know where I am and so when I don't want to work and I hide and people will go, did he go home?

Well, his car's still here. He'll never find me. He'll never find him. So we'll put those in wherever Eric was saying on the internet. Our previous Taco Bell episode was released June 6, 2023, where we ate the Taco Bell Enchirito and Chili Verde fries. It received an average score of 52.5.

That's not a terrible score. No, it's a pretty good score for something called the Enchirito. You ever had an Enchirito, Gracie? No. I don't really remember it. I don't know. It came in a little black tub, right? So it was in a black tub, and it had like the red sauce, and we ate it, and we're like, this is a very soft food.

That's right. I remember that. Oh, it looks foul. It's a very old- The cheese looks like hair. Okay. It's not hair. It's not hair, it's just cheese. That is a very... You can... So the last time that we had Taco Bell, Gracie, it was... It was June 6, 2023.

I just said that. That item was a... You weren't working here yet. They brought it back. You were just getting your driver's license. I can't go down this rabbit hole again. They brought it back because it was like an item from like 1990 or something. It's like a very, very old quote unquote beloved item.

And I think that was Taco Bell's thing for a minute where they're like, we're going to bring back Mexican pizza. We're going to try old things, which is a big change from what they're doing now. But we ate it and it was just like, this tastes like 1992. Like it tastes the way that diet Pepsi used to look like. It tastes like how Taco Bell used to look in the 90s. Gross, it tastes the way that Diet Pepsi used to look. It tastes like how Taco Bell used to look in the 90s. Gross, weird, like, why did they do it like this?

Kind of flat. Like Michael. Like me. It's much different now. Now let's get to this. Let's do it. This incredible food device we're eating today. Yep. Inspired by the classic empanada, the cheesy chicken crispinata

offers a portable delight designed for easy enjoyment anywhere, maybe even the floor, anytime, and perfect for fans seeking a convenient bite with a unique twist.

Oh, no. And then they have it in parentheses, facefromtacobel.com. This must be fact. Oh. Factfortacobel.com. This must be fact. Fact from tacobel.com. We got face jam on the brain, man. Inspired by the classic empanada, this empanada is something we make.

They basically call it an empanada. It's what it is. They have not innovated at all on it. No, it is. It's stolen valor. I would say it's not bigger than any empanada I've ever really had

unless you get like mini empanadas. It is less full than most empanadas I've ever had. Empanadas usually come packed. Just shove that shit in there. It felt,

we're talking about the food in a little bit. Don't you dare talk about the food. Sorry, that was close. Rain it in. Luckily, it was handheld and portable.

Yeah, you need to maybe get on the floor to control yourself. Sorry, it was handheld and portable. Yeah, you need to maybe get on the floor to control yourself. Sorry, I'm okay right now. Are we all going to end up on the floor before this episode ends? Yeah, you will. Either by choice or not. By choice. In August of last year, New York resident

Frank Siragusa noticed his pizza didn't look as filling as the photos he'd seen in advertisements, so he sued Taco Bell for false advertising. The lawsuit claims these practices are, quote, unfair and deceptive. Hang on. And are especially concerning amid rising food prices. We think they should be sued for calling it pizza to begin with,

but y'all not ready for that conversation. And what is this emoji? Oh, it's the little painting nails emoji. Okay. It's the one you do when you're like, but yeah. Well, anyway. Yeah. Damn.

That, uh, the, this is part of. Is it still ongoing? It's still ongoing. Yeah. So this is part of a thing that we talked about before where people are starting to sue fast food places and going like, what you're showing us and what you're giving us are too disimplified. And speaking of that,

I think this is a great time to bring up the Taco Bell Direct. Oh, yes. Oh, my God. Let's talk about it a little bit and then we get to the rest of the facts. So this is the new direction that Taco Bell is going in.

They are doing an Apple-style keynote. Yep. All of us. They're doing an Apple-style keynote. You look like the bad guy from Adam Webb. Did you just jump? We must have defeated these women. Wow.

Was that pretty good? AD Army. We've got to defeat him. We have to find the spider for me. If you had a vision of when you... You have to find the spider for me. But his lips only move once in that scene. That's kind of what it was.

His mouth opens one time and he goes, I can't believe they got away. So Taco Bell Direct, they said, here's everything we're doing this year For Taco Bell Taco Bell Direct is going to be their new streaming service Sign me up Subscribe to Taco Bell Plus Can't wait to subscribe to Taco Bell

They really like laid a lot out Were there any highlights for you guys Or things that stood out to you Yeah but there's so much I can't even remember it all Gracie? I didn't write it down Gracie that's you I know give me a minute I know I. Gracie? I didn't write it down. Gracie, that's you. You're Gracie. I know.

Give me a minute. I know I'm Gracie. I think just the audience interaction overall. Yeah. Because, okay, I've never been a Marvel. Uh-huh. I guess it doesn't entice me at all. This

one? Was this your Marvel? What are you saying right now? it solidified my disinterest in that whole franchise in Marvel or in Taco Bell? wait sorry I thought we were still talking about Madam Web no the Madam Web

wait when did we switch? Gracie Gracie we're talking about the Taco Bell Wait, when did we switch? Gracie. Gracie. We're talking about the Taco Bell keynote where the guy was on stage talking about all the new Taco Bell foods, and you're talking about the movie. Gracie, the Madam Web review is later. No, I see the confusion here.

I see the confusion here I see the confusion here We started talking about the keynote And Jordan said it reminded him of the guy Or Eric One of you people Reminded you of the guy And then we went back to Taco Bell And you didn't go back I thought

I thought After this Taco Bell keynote I'm not interested in Taco Bell keynotes anymore. I thought Gracie- You're souring me on the whole thing. I thought she was about to explain that now she knows how Marvel fans feel because she's such a Taco Bell fan.

Also, Madame Webb is not a Marvel movie. Not a Marvel movie. In association- That's where she is. I see. I'm really off my rocker today. Oh my God. You really are.

You just described how you didn't listen to them talk about Skyrim And your brain went elsewhere And then you just did it again Now that I know what we're talking about This is like phase four Taco Bell MCU What made you sweat? Just realizing that I wasn't present

For like five minutes. Yeah, talk about keynotes kind of like it's my marble. It made sense in the beginning. It made sense in the beginning because you were talking about the audience. And then she was talking about the audience from the keynote. And then she kept saying Marvel and you kept going, um. You were like, what do you mean Marvel Okay now that I know what we're talking about

Did you look at that thing I sent it Like I was the one who was really excited about it This is why I teed her up to talk about The thing that she wanted to talk about And then she went I don't watch Marvel movies You were like what was your favorite part? And she was thinking of parts from the movie.

No, I literally was racking my brain and I was like, it was like probably this right here. Because you also were talking about this part. I mean, we were. You're right, we were. And then we weren't. Oh, man. The guy who clips out all of the fact sections

and puts them together, compiles them on YouTube, leave all this in. This is all in the fact section. These are all facts. Anyway, Cheez-It Crunchwrap, huh? I can't fucking wait to hear it. That's what I was asking. That's all we needed you to say. Yeah.

I was honestly knees deep in this jam-skipping menu right now. She's too busy mad and webbing and being the future. You can't be in three places at once, Gracie. You need to be here now, otherwise Mike Epps is gonna die. They're also doing chicken nuggets. They announced that they're doing the Baja Blast Gelato.

That one got my interest piqued. I'd like to taste like this one. Yeah, well, churro chillers. I don't know what that is, so I don't know how to feel. this one. Yeah, well. Yeah. Churro chillers. I don't know what that is, so I don't know how to feel. It is like. Cold. Like a milkshake. I think it's like a milkshake-y type thing.

But with cinnamon sugar or something. Yeah. So I think they're probably going to do it with like their coffee one and then like a couple other flavors. Cheesy street chalupa. You have just said three words. What is that? There's so many.

I'm going to be honest. There's so many things where I'm like, this is insane. Yep. That like all crazy weird shit. There's so many things where I'm like, this is insane. That like all crazy, weird shit. Why is it on the street? I feel like everything at Taco Bell is the exact same thing. It is in a different shape. Yeah, it definitely is. The cheesy chicken crispanada is slightly different from other things.

But then you get into weird stuff like it's the dulce de leche Cinnabon delights. Haven't they had those? This is part of a trend I'm noticing too. Where Cinnabon delights. Haven't they had those? This is part of a trend I'm noticing, too, where Cinnabon is truly Madam Webbing. Yes. Into every fast food restaurant. Subway. Taco Bell. I saw somewhere else.

Wendy's. I think they're going to Wendy's. It's a Wendy's Cinnabon thing. They got Taco Bell. They got the coffee. It's Cinnabon coffee at Taco Bell. Yep. I got it yesterday.

It's weird. It's weird. I've even talked about it from Taco Bell. Yep. I got it yesterday. It's weird. It's weird. A lot coming out from Taco Bell. I've even talked about two days in a row now. Wow. Incredible stuff. Do we have release dates for all of them? Or no? No. Give us the dates! This is all through 2024. Give us the dates! Tell us now. Tell us now, Madam Web. Tell us now, Madam Web.

I fear I'm not going to be around the world until summertime. Tell us. I fear. I fear I shall not have the gelato. Why does everybody think that? So every time I say I fear, my friends are like, you fear. That's a thing. Honestly, it's because it sounds like a line from Skyrim. It does.

It really does. I fear the dragon will come. I fear I will not have the gelato until summertime. I fear the Jarl may be assassinated. Only the Dovahkiin can save us. I think a Jarl is kind of like the Starks. They're like, you're not king, but you're kind of in charge of this.

You gotta be careful or I'm gonna fall out of this again. We gotta move on to the next fact. I'm getting confused. We gotta go to the next fact. Just so you know, about five minutes ago I was laughing my ass off because I saw the last fact. But we'll get to that. A new Taco Bell cantina was set to open in Indianapolis late last year, but a lawsuit from a neighboring mall based Taco Bell tried to prevent it.

Taco Bell corporate said that the two locations would not compete with each other. So they went ahead with the opening. The locations are literally across the street from one another. So come on down to the Taco Bell in the mall, which is definitely just as good as the new Taco Bell you can get drunk at. Case dismissed. Nick, hit the table. Thank you.

Excellent. There's a Taco Bell cantina, another one, and they serve alcohol. I don't know why this one didn't. Yeah, we kept getting stiff. And they went out of business. Why would you go in a mall when you could not go in a mall? That's exactly... The thing that they said, they're like,

well, this won't compete. And they said, why wouldn't it compete? And they said, because the Taco Bell in the mall is what we call... I think they called it entrapment patrons. I hope so. Which is like at an airport or something where it's like

people still go to the airport. Yes. You're not going to leave the mall to go to the one across the street. You're in the mall already in the food court. Except in 2024, no one's in the mall. Yep. So no one's going there. Unless you live in the mall. Like in TikToks I've been seeing. That's right. It's like Taco Bell. So no one's going there. Unless you live in the mall.

That's right. It's like Taco Bell. Let's get on to the last fact. It's a rollercoaster. A New Jersey woman claimed she was beaten senseless by three Taco Bell employees after she complained about a burrito. When the woman tried to exchange the burrito, workers said they didn't

have the ingredients for a new one that came around the corner and beat her up. We at Face Jam definitely side with this woman because this story sounds very solid and not like it's missing any parts at all. Award this woman

as many burritos as she wants. Oh, you're out of the ingredients lady run Beaten senseless is in quotation Your honor I have no more sense than beating it out of me. Which is why I can't remember all of the pertinent details of what happened.

She said she got this burrito. Um, excuse me. Fine workers, I fear my burrito. Not this time, lady! Get her! Oh, why? She said that she went,

got this burrito. She said that there was stuff wrong with it and then was like, okay, I'm going to go ask for another one. She went and asked for an exchange. They said, we don't have the ingredients for that. And then she said that she started walking away and they came around the counter and beat her up. And I'm like, there's no fucking chance

that everything you just said is the way it happened. Something happened in between. There was some missing footage and then she got beat up. Right. Security cameras blip for a minute. Don't downplay this. She wasn't being up. She was being senseless.

The woman now has to go through the rest of her life without sense. Can you understand what a handicap that is? Just the idea. She's lacking of sense forever. It's the way people tell stories where they're the hero or the victim and this woman was just like, and then they kicked my ass.

And they just kept doing this for no reason. No reason whatsoever. And it kept happening to me. And I don't know why. And I won't tell you. I bought a one wheel and I was't know why. And I won't tell you. I bought a one wheel and I was beaten senseless.

Like, going 18 miles an hour downhill when I fell off. Fucking crazy. Yeah, and there was no one else at the Taco Bell to watch someone else around. And the cameras were disabled. Yeah. Those are the facts.

Those are the floor facts. Michael, next time you go to New Jersey you should Find this woman and beat her some more See if her senses have come back And if they have You know what to do My senses have returned Not for long

That's what you think Here's a crisp banana Bitch Bitch No no it's all wrong Here's a crisp banana, bitch. Bitch. No, no, it's all wrong! I glanced at the word beaten senseless earlier. I just lost it.

I keep chuckling at the little nails. I did that for you. I thought that you would love that. I've been staring at it the whole time. My favorite part is that it's not printed in color. I know. It's just like a little line. A black and white emoji.

It looks weird when it's in black and white, too. I thought it was a smudge at first. I was like, what happened? No, I knew something was going on. I just can't really see that. You're just getting sassy. Yeah. The Taco Bell, I don't like their new system. What's their new system?

What do you mean? How you ordered it? Ordering on the giant iPad inside. Dude, that's most fast food places. But you ordered it beforehand. I did, yes. But I'm just saying that like But it also was not made when you got there.

So what was the point? Here's the thing. I like automation when you can have it. Or like a computer. Like I don't want to deal with the idiots. Or you go online. You go inside and there's like 50 people in line. And you go, oh, I'm just going to use this little computer thing.

That's cool. No one's here. Now it's like, that's the primary? There's like five of those? And if you want to order at the counter, it's like well, I guess you can order at the counter. Whatever. It takes fucking forever. Because when you go to order, you go

hey, I want this with this on it and this thing. And assuming you get an employee that understands it, they do it all day. They have the buttons. And the little register thing that they're using is way smaller and more direct than the big dumb menu. Way more streamlined. It's streamlined because

they actually have to have training to use it. It's a more advanced interface for their expertise. The other one, it's way dumber. It's way slower. I know what I'm doing. I know what I want when I walk in. Like, say, McDonald's, for example. It takes me four minutes to order.

It's like, yes. You wait for the next page. Yes. You wait for the thing to load and you go, okay. It takes forever. It's so much slower than speaking to a human being. My wife is a user experience designer. Yeah. And this is stuff that drives her crazy where it's like

this is not solving the problem of paying someone to do this. No. It is making everything slower and it's like while it's usable, it is not solving the larger case of getting people in and out of this restaurant.

That is right. God no. But it's also because it's like I don't think it's really solving. I don't think it's there to like get people in and out of this restaurant. That is right. Yeah. But it's also, cause it's like, I don't think it's really solving. I don't think it's there to like get people in and out of the restaurant. It's basically like, fuck you. No one orders in restaurants anymore. You do the drive through or you order ahead and pick it up. It's like an Uber eats or,

you know, whatever it kind of is. And this is like, we don't give a shit that it sucks, but we have to have something for the schmucks that come in and order, but we don't care how not streamlined and slow it is because it's so rare. And you gotta

like park rangers say, the overlap between the smartest the dumbest human and the smartest bear is closer than you think, and so you gotta really dumb down these things and it just makes it longer to use. Because bears will come in in order of Taco Bell, too. They will. They'll hit all the buttons and they'll get a Crispinata.

That's the problem. Yeah, they can undo the locks. I will. No problem. So the thing that, like, we had to go inside the Taco Bell because when I put the order in online, which was just five of these boxes or whatever, it came out to $52 or whatever. It's about $10 a person. I was like, okay, we'll just do the drive-thru.

It said, orders over $50 can't go through the drive-thru. But why? So many things. Because we were going to be sitting there forever. Just tell me to park. And then walk it out to me. Also, no other fast food place does that.

I've never seen that in the world. $100 is something that I can world. Wendy's is $100. Yeah, $100 is something that I can understand. If we went through the drive-thru and ordered five of those things, would they say, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, well, that's it. No park right now. They would be like, no, you have to come inside? Like, what the fuck?

Also, it doesn't really make sense because price doesn't exactly equal food. Exactly. We could order 10,000 cheaper things for $49. Exactly. And it would still go through drive-thru. This is one thing five times. It has nothing to do with the amount of food. It's a price thing.

It's very weird. Which I don't get. I don't understand that. But also, $50 is not a lot. No. It's not a lot at all. There was five of us, and it was just five of the same meal.

We're a typical American family. We're a typical American family. We're the new modern family. Two dads, a producer, an associate producer, and a monkey. The pet. Yeah, but he's just the talking pet. It's very strange that they have... You're more of a Goofy than a Pluto.

That's true. Yeah. That's true. But only bear... And again, the smartest bear and the dumbest person. It's sort of what we're talking about here. The overlap there. How?

Is your arch nemesis also voiced by Jim Cummings? I knew it. I don't know. Just Taco Bell's new ordering. It's the same as like going to Target and everything's like the self-checkout and you go, well, this takes fucking forever. No one knows how to do this and it's not hard

but boy, just hire six more people and have them at the fucking counter. Can I give my opinion on this whole thing? Oh my god, yes, please. While I go into my second fort. Please tell us. Where is he going? Just real quick.

I'm scared he's going to grab my ankle. We know what we're talking about. I'm not going to do that. We're not talking about the movie. Yeah, we're talking about those big ass iPads. Okay, cool. But I'll grab his ankle. I'm somebody who I don't like.

Guys, Gracie's talking. Yeah, yeah, we got it. I don't like talking to like, I don't like the process of talking to workers. It just, you know. So do you like the phone call? They're inferior people. When you're like, oh, I don't want to process of talking to workers. They're beneath you. They're inferior people. I don't want to make the phone call. I have to work up the courage to make the call. I feel that way in a restaurant.

I don't want to have to do the face-to-face and make the customization. I would much rather spend a few extra minutes on an iPad in silence and then have to explain to somebody. Interesting generational gap. But here's the problem. I would like. Interesting generational gap. But here's the thing. I feel like a lot of people in my generation might say the same thing, that

they would rather do it on the iPad. Even if there was no line, they would probably go there. Totally understandable. And I completely get what you're saying. I've watched you call a subway to see if they have a pretzel. If a pretzel's online, I can't be held by any standard.

To me, I get where you're coming from, but I've seen you die. That's only because she feared she wouldn't get a pretzel. I cannot be held to a standard. She was fearful. It's the exception, not the rule. I also called the Alamo Draft House a couple months ago. Pretzels are a different story.

It's a different creature when you're talking about pretzels. Guys, there's so many wires under here. Yeah, yeah, that's where they're all run. So when Taco Bell has the pretzel-rito or whatever. I'll call. I'll order in person. Jesus Christ. Whatever it takes.

I mean, here's the thing. I get it. Ordering ahead of time, I'm very into. Especially for this show. Because my biggest fear is going there and they go, we don't have that. Oh, especially for this. Which has happened once. I downloaded every app. Yeah, which has happened once.

Like, we had it with Dairy Queen and they're like, that's a different menu. Like, we don't have that. And it was like, oh, this is fucked. It happened just once. But you were able to order it online or no? No, they didn't have it, period. Yeah, he's not talking about when he ordered it to the wrong Chuck E. Cheese. That was a different thing.

They had it. He's not talking about the time where the to the wrong Chuck E. Cheese. That was a different thing. They had it. He's not talking about the time where the restaurant was closed and we couldn't go in. And then we went to Chili's. It's just like I... Yeah. Do you think I should unplug this? No, please don't. I just did. Look. This thing.

Say goodbye to the podcast. It's back in now. I wonder what that was. Is my microphone working? Oh, that what that was Is my microphone working? Oh that's great Is my microphone working? No Hey let's learn about the food

Lay it on us Taco Bell Cheesy Chicken Crisp-a-Panda What? Crisp-a-Panda A delicate pastry dough Crisp to perfection and filled with shredded chicken And melty three-cheese blend. Served with spicy ranch sauce to dip.

Much appreciated. Okay, so Gracie is all about ranch, and she wishes that her blood was ranch. She did say that. She'd be so much stronger. Be immortal. That's it. Oh, okay. Why are you looking at me?

I see what you're up to. Press material. What I'm down to. Get ready. Get ready. Get ready. Taco Bell's commitment to push the boundaries of food creativity and innovation is grounded in its fusion first ethos, creating a synergy where beloved flavors and Forbes come together to produce something entirely new.

Hang on. Pause right there. Pause right there. Michael is not reading off the sheet. He's just hearing it out loud. How does it feel when these words are just said, but you can't see them? I feel like I'm in an ethos.

Exploding in it. I feel like I'm Gracie right now. I'm hearing... Just looking at them. Look at that foam on the door. That's interesting. I wonder what Jordan's gonna do in Skyrim with his vampire girlfriend that's turned human now. I wonder what that's going to be like later.

The cheesy chicken crisponata is a testament to Taco Bell's collaborative creativity featuring up-leveled ingredients, unique new formats, and unexpected flavors that modernize the menu while celebrating the Mexican-inspired roots that have long been at the heart of Taco Bell. Yeah, right. It's an empanada, you guys. We're not reinventing the wheel here. Where do you think empanadas are from?

Spain. I believe there's Spain in origin and there are many iterations and styles throughout Latin America. Common in Spain. And at Taco Bell, dude. Crazy. Spain and Portugal. Do they use the word crispy anywhere

in the description for an empanada? No, like when you Googled it. In the generic description? Oh, let me see. I think they do. Because, like, you know, how would you know otherwise? Baked or fried turnover consisting of pastry and filled common... No, it doesn't say crispy. Maybe that's why you gotta put crispy in the name.

You have to. The name comes from a Spanish empanar and translates to breaded, which so not necessarily crispy. Interesting. Crispinada. Turns out Taco Bell was right. Yeah, it turns out this truly is an up-leveled ingredient. Up-leveled.

I love when stuff is up-leveled. I love up. What was the first line, Jordan? Yeah. Taco Bell's commitment to push the boundaries of food creativity and innovation. Why is that their commitment? Shouldn't they just make good food? Just make good fucking tacos.

I know, because if it's not- Who wants that commitment? If it's not wacky, it's not worth it. Who the fuck is going, you know, Taco Bell better, you know, uphold their commitment to pushing food boundaries and, like, what? Are you guys hungry? What ethos are you looking at today?

More of an ephemeral snacker. I'm kind of like a fusion forward kind of guy. Is there a place for me? I like to wear gloves when I eat tacos. Yeah, yeah. But now you're doing one glove. I'm doing one glove. That's pretty cool. Yeah. Well, I guess let's talk about

this thing. Let's talk about it. That was much better. Spicy Ranch. Before we get into the food food. Spicy Ranch, doing anything for you? Love it. Definitely lubricating the food. I mean, that's true. It w Love it. Definitely lubricating the food. I mean, that's true. It wets it.

It's a good wetting agent. Flavor-wise, I'm not sure. I didn't taste it. Yeah. I tried. Yeah, it basically could have been anything, I suppose. Well, what I did was it up-leveled the Spicy Ranch. Oh.

But it also made it so I didn't have to be two dips and stuff. I just took some of the fire sauce And I mixed it right into the spicy ranch That was the most So when I was dipping it I could at least taste the fire sauce But Jordan's point It's why I get on a lot of things

I get from Taco Bell I'll add extra cheese One, I like the cheese But two, it's to like moisten it up Because sometimes it's all like moisten it up. Yeah. Because sometimes it's all too dry. It can be, yeah. Even with like a sprinkle some cheese in there, it ain't enough.

And more cheese makes it less dry. But that's what the spicy ranch did. Yeah. I can tell that it really didn't do much because I'm not a huge ranch fan. I don't dislike it, but I'm not a huge ranch fan. And I was like, this doesn't... I don't think ranch... It didn't taste like ranch to me. I didn't notice a difference in taste in the bites I had without it

or with it, but I did like it texture-wise more with the ranch. I did use it. I had to use it. I used it Dunkaroo style. Yeah. It definitely helped me stop burning my mouth when I kept burning my mouth on this thing that just got deep fried and handed to us.

You were burning your mouth? My mouth got burned. I burned my tongue like twice. I guess I waited into my first bite and it kind of like I don't know what words you described. Scorched or burned you? Attacked you? Poked you? You did like It like squirted out some of the sauce and it burnt my lip. Oh, I see.

Like when you went into a pizza roll and it went Like I wanted to use the word... It's just like the hot oil. I don't know if I should say it. It sounds wrong. But it like splooged. Okay. That was wrong. That's why I hesitated because that was the word that came to my mind. That one was in the connections, I'm pretty sure.

I know what you're saying. I can't believe you would use that word on this podcast. But now that you have, you can sit in the back seat. Now you've been demoted. No, now you've been promoted. You just got more access. You just went up a clearance level.

No, no, we have a system. The system works fine. We have rules. The system works. The system works. What did you guys think of the actual food? Not one of us. What did you guys think of the actual food? Not one of us. What did you guys think of the actual food?

The crispinata itself. Something like this, the biggest issue that's going to come up, I think, is it's not going to be crispy enough. And I got to say, they really nailed it. I think it was perfectly fried. They really nailed it. I think it was perfectly fried. If anything, it was a little like past like just a little step, a little shade darker.

It goes into like crunchy a little bit. Yeah, than what they would be like, yeah, good enough. And then they take it out. But I liked it. I liked it for that. So I think they nailed that. And as a result, I think what they created was a good little, I don't want to say food, because it's more of a snack. It is very, very small.

It's small. It's a lot smaller than I anticipated it to be. Yeah. It's small already, and then it's not filled to capacity, as mentioned, so there's even less eats inside of it. Yeah. 280 calories. Wow, that's not a lot at all. How much with?

Without, I mean, but 280 calories worth of food? Like, I wouldn't eat that and be like, I'm full. Right. No way. Lame. That was like a snack. Yeah, you got to get, I guess, the deluxe thing. Yeah.

But then we're up to like 1,000 calories. Nick's order TM. Fill it. Oh, dude. Assuming they give you the Cinnatwist. When are we going to do? That's right. We wanted to compare them to the box cereal.

I said this before the podcast started, but he just looks extra smart today. Oh, those glasses are doing so much heavy lifting. They're good looking glasses. What the fuck does that mean? Well, Jordan, it's a combination of you. Did you get the connections today? I was going to say, he was like helping Gracie with Wordle or whatever, and it was just like, well, the glasses are working, man.

It's a combination of Jordan wearing nice, smart guy looking glasses, Jordan already being Jordan, and me doing the podcast from the floor. There's a real disparity. The disparity is widening. It's really something. But I'm getting there. I'm sitting now. Yeah, that's good.

I lost my hat earlier today and it upsets me. Oh, no. On the one wheel? No, it's in the building somewhere. I haven't wheeled today, man. Oh, that's right. I forgot. But I'm going to bring it in after because you got to see all my sticks. That's right.

I showed Eric a picture of these glasses like a couple months ago. It took forever to come out. I forgot about them. And he said, oh, yeah, those glasses, they'll make you look like someone who does the crossword. I go, that's great because I do. Wow. They were made just for you. And when you see the pictures, they'll make you look like someone who does the crossword. I go, that's great, because I do. Wow. They were made just for you. And when you see the pictures, you'll know. Yeah. He looks like he does

the crossword. I'm not gonna wear them all the time. Dude. I'm in an adjustment period. They're mostly for, like, on the computer and driving. You know what I order that's gonna take forever? And I mean maybe June or earlier. I've been seeing this shit. I've been waiting on it, because it's obnoxiously expensive, but it's so goddamn nice. It's like a exercise. It's for, like, weightlifting and shit. I've been waiting on it because it's obnoxiously expensive, but it's so goddamn nice.

It's like exercise. It's for weightlifting and shit. People wear sweatshirts to exercise. I'm never going to do that. I hate that. I hate wearing sweatshirts. But I will absolutely ride around on my one wheel just in time for summer for me to sweat to death.

Check out what I'm going to be wearing. My fucking white ranger outfit. Oh, my God. It is super high quality. The best. Look at these fabrics. This guy's lifting weights. I'm going to be blasting on my one wheel.

It's all individually stitched. Look, even the sleeve, it's like separated. Go, go Power Michael. Ridiculously expensive. For a sweatshirt and sweatpants. But I treated myself. So, come summer, I'll go, what the fuck is this? I wish they could have just seen the way you said,

I hope it fits. Fingers crossed. You look like the emoji. I treated myself. Dude, it looks so cool. All right, so what's your score for the Crispinada? Oh, that's right. We have to review this still. There it is.

He's a tiger. Pretty solid, taste and texture-wise. The size, I don't think they really advertise it as a meal, so I'm not going to knock it for that. I'm going to give it a solid, like, 79. Wow! That's a crazy high score. It's simple. It's not too crazy.

It seems justified. Like, when they get crazy, that's when things go wrong. Yes. So this is a good is this was a W for most I will say Taco Bell Taco Bell is dumb as the name is the Crispinata they leaned into what works best where

you go into these slop fast foods right McDonald's say what you love about McDonald's the Big Mac it hits the Quarter Pounder it's a classic the Chicken Nuggets you know what you're getting so that's why McDonald's is popular that's why they sell 100 million trillion billion The Big Mac, it hits. The Quarter Pounder, it's a classic. The Chicken Nuggies, you know what you're getting. So that's why McDonald's is popular. That's why they sell 100 million trillion billion hamburgers a year.

Then it's like, we made this dumbass thing that came out, and it sucks. This is not that. This is like, oh, this is an actual food item. It's tiny, but it's pretty good. I'm going to slam it 80. Let's say 80. 79.55 the average score this is probably Taco Bell's best reviewed thing yeah I mean I do think that

it's one of their it's a really safe thing for them to make it's a thing that fast food should make more safe things they can't really go crazy on this which is good we don't want papadias the thing about Taco Bell is that is good. We don't want Papadias. No, please stop.

The thing about Taco Bell is that the things that I don't like feel like they take the most time to assemble. The burritos, it's just so soft. And it's just, here's a layer, here's a layer, here's a layer. And the burritos are so disappointing. Exactly. Grace, he's going to kill you. Yeah, I don't know what you'll have against the burritos.

I like good ones. Wait, Nick, was that a... Oh, you don't like them either. She rolled her eyes. Distributions are off. What if they grill the burrito? How do y'all feel then? Isn't that an item? No, they took it off.

The quesarito? You know how Michael knows everything about the McDonald's menu? That's Gracie. That's Gracie now. This is a thing that these guys take out of the package. They deep fry it. They pull it out.

They put it in a package and it's done. It is so simple. There's so many like, there's no error. There's no room for error. Can you get it with something besides chicken? Is that an option? No, this is the only one that they have. I hope one day they have ground beef.

We'll see if they expand it. Fuck ground beef. I want steak. In a few months, I think it'll be steak. I think they will reintroduce and be like, here it is with steak. I was just saying, they just added that to the breakfast menu. Yep. When they introduced the breakfast quesadillas, which aren't terrible.

The meat sucks. The bacon is terrible. But they do bacon, sausage, and potato. I went there yesterday and realized they have steak now. Was that when you were doing the taco pass? Yes. Is that video out? No. Ask him. The guy who just left the room.

He says, let's go back then. Oh, when they add steak? Okay, Nick. Sure, yeah. Yeah, I went there for breakfast yesterday and I was like, oh, they got steak now? It's straight up just basically the quesadilla, steak quesadilla, but it's got egg in it. It's pretty smart. It's like a little more

crispy, the breakfast quesadillas. They're a little more crispy. They crisp the tortillas as opposed to leaving them kind of soft. I'm not sure I would like a more crispy tortilla in a quesadilla. I kind of like a soft warmed tortilla. I think you'd like it more than you think. All right.

Twist my arm. I'll try it. Twist my dia. I think you'd like it more than you think. All right. Twist my arm. I'll try it. Twist my dear. I've never seen that breakfast before. One thing we're not getting next time is Baja Blast. It was so disappointing. It's basically light green tonic water. This one was out of syrup. You can tell. It didn't come together.

Where's this damn crispinata? Oh, here it is. 79.5 is a very, very strong score for something from Taco Bell. But now it's time for a snack. Woo-hoo. Dear Distinguished... Here we go. You want to wear the glasses?

No! You can't edit this guy at all. Nick's going to edit this part out. Here we go. All you can swap is the sauce. Yes, that is right. Dear Distinguished Bug Overlords, Mighty Sauce Monkey,

and Radiant Gracie. Whoa! Radiant! And then I just want to point out... What's there? And Eric. That's in really, really small text. I was really hoping

you were going to turn around and it was going to be the nail emoji. They also used it. I've been listening for a while and wanted to send some goodies to you guys as a token of my appreciation The first one Which is probably the one we're gonna go with And we can save the rest or whatever

Maybe we'll film it after this Limited edition smoking hot Peach beef jerky From Jacklings My husband and I bought a bag to try Not expecting to enjoy it We're pleasantly surprised This is from Caitlin M.

So, Caitlin, let's try. Jack Link's pretty good jerky. Yeah, Jack Link's usually hits pretty well. It hits pretty well. It's got that level of like. I can barely see the letter, and I just see the words Tangy Ranch, and I'm getting excited. The smell is like. He opened it, and it like attacked him.

It's pretty Jack Link's-y. The smell is like insane. What I like... Dude, when I pulled it away, I got all the peach. Yeah, me too. When I handed you the bag, I got peach. That was weird. I handed it to Gracie. She's freaking. She's just doing this with her fingers. She's just pinching the air going

gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Now pull it away and you'll smell the peach. Yeah, but she doesn't taste, so I don't know if she or Bert... What I like about Jack links is they nail The yeah, why didn't we take him out? Okay? They nail the strips where we're like it's jerky. Yeah, but it's soft It's super like oh, it's like straws. It's so dry. You would it crumbles it Yes, it was like bark Crumbles in.

That one that we had last time was like bark. Yes, it was like bark. Yo! Mmm. Like, you can bite it, and you just bite a little bit, and it tears. It's just such a good consistency. Juggling's great jerky. Mmm.

Whoa. I'm chewing. Smoked cuts of beef seasoned with peach and habanero. I like it. It's very peachy. Mm-hmm. Although, I don't... It's not... There's something... It's not spicyy Although I don't It's not spicy No

It's not very spicy at all For something that says smoking hot No it isn't It's very smoky in the middle It's smoky but it's not hot Very peachy afterward It's a little too smoky in the middle of it Yeah

You're not holding it towards us It says smoking not It's pretty good He was facing the wall What would you guys rate this? I like it, it's just not hot I'd give it like a 65 Jordan

They're gonna love that 60 I mean it's good There's no heat at all i do like the peach flavor yep it's i'm not so i get i don't think i'd go peach and buy it it kind of just turns into smoked peach which is yeah 62.5 is the average point eating it i'm pleasantly surprised i do like i'm not going i gots to have it no i always just get the peppered that's my favorite glad i tried it though uh we'll eat the other snacks that Caitlin sent.

We'll film something and you guys can check it out on Facebook.com. Just like he lied about James giving this. Nope. By the time this is out, James giving's out. Will that be out on video later? Maybe. Well, if this comes out and James giving didn't happen. Something must have gone very wrong.

I don't know, Eric. What's going to make it not happen? I don't know. Nothing. I'm really excited. I don't know, Eric. What's going to make it not happen? I don't know. Nothing? I'm really excited. I don't know. I think it's something that's really good. I'm excited, too, if it happens. I can't wait to get.

That's the point. I can't wait to present the menu. Me, too. Gracie and Nick give. Yeah. It worked. But then I also, in turn, get because it's so many things I love. She gives and gets.

Jesus Christ. She gives to herself. She gives. She gives to herself. I have to get to give. She gives to herself. That's what you get. It's his fault for putting me in charge of it. It's like a weird Santa Claus.

Hey, if you want to send us snacks, you can. You can send them to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. You can sign up

and support us directly at facejampod.com slash first. Check out the YouTube channel. We've been putting videos up out there for everyone. But there's even more behind the paywall. There's a ride-along.

There's nothing really to feed the gremlins. Sorry, gremlins. Oh, yeah. But there'll be plenty of stuff. No, there's not. This jerky's gone. We've got a whole pack. The monkey vinyl toys are out now.

Certified jammer shirts, noisemakers, tracksuits are almost gone. This is stuff that won't be returning probably anytime soon. But here's the thing.uits are almost gone. This is stuff that won't be returning probably anytime soon. But here's the thing. We've seen it. Where is this thing? We've seen it in some videos,

some photos, some things that we've been putting out or whatever. The monkey squish, not a squishmallow, the squish plush. Legally distinct, the squishmallow.

The squishmonkey. Squishmonkey that we've been seeing a lot of. Squishmonko. Is supposed to be out March 15th. That's never going to come out on that specific date. March 15th.

Keep an eye out. That's almost a month. No way. March 15th. I've seen it. I've held it. They gotta exist. They exist somewhere. You can go to March 13th just in case. You can go to... Mark your calendar for March 13th, just in case. Just in case.

You can go to ShoulderMonkey.shop and then click on the top to where it says Brands and Podcasts and then click on Face Jam and then everything will be there. Probably like new arrivals. Uh-huh. And so March 15th is when we'll have Squishmonkey. Very streamlined way to do it. It's almost Nick's due date. I'm sorry?

It's the babies. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's getting even weirder. Oh my God. In case you didn't pick up on the hints throughout this episode, we did watch Madam Web. Yep. And we will be doing an episode where we talk about it.

We'll be doing something with Madam Web. We'll be doing a Madam Web in-depth review. Yeah. Case study. We're really going to- And I hope it's soon because- We're really going to pick this thing apart, which is hard to do. I've got to talk about it. Because it's nearly a perfect film. Yeah. Case study. And I hope it's soon because we're really going to pick this thing apart, which is hard to do because it's nearly a perfect film. They nailed it.

And you can follow us at FacecamPod Instagram on Twitter. What the fuck? That was the guy behind us in the movie. There were three other people, I think. There was one person behind us and two people in front of us I walked in the theater and Erica texted don't worry

you won't miss us and I just came in and was like where is everyone I also really appreciate because I wanted it to be that way because I knew there was going to be pretzel fever and I also knew I was going to get chips and I thought I'd share them but I knew I was getting there late and I'm like man what are the odds I'm going to end up sitting next to Gracie?

And my thought was like, I'll sit on the end somewhere. I'll sit on one end of the other. But you bought the seats. So, like, the odds that Gracie's in that seat, I don't know. I walk in. It's the three of you in a row, a space, and then Gracie. And I was like, man, this is fucked up. Why didn't I put you over here?

So, we won't even sit next to you. It was weirder when we got there. I was going to say. I know when we got there. I know. I got there. I can only imagine as it gets filled in. You've been sitting like this for so long without me here, and you're like, eh, he'll sit there. We don't want to sit next to you. You have cooties.

Here's five seats. It was me, no one, Nick, no one, Gracie. So then when I showed up, I had to pick. I was like, I got to talk about this. Why would you sit like that? I don't know. I don't know why they did. I don't know. It would have made sense for us to sit to that

actually makes more sense for you and why it ended up that way. Yes, I sat next to Eric. I got here and I went, what the fuck? It's not like all four of us showed up was like, all right, leave a space. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. Everyone stay away from her. Yeah, and I went, oh, it works out because

there's no front seat for her to ride in. And then went, oh, it works out because I get the chips. And then it's great because it's exactly what I knew was going to happen. I just thought, I'll get chips. I'll share them. She gets a pretzel. The pretzel comes with queso. She also gets an extra giant cup of queso. Like a second

cup of queso. Okay, it came with honey mustard and cheese and I don't really care for the honey mustard. So I just said, give me double queso. That's fine, but you could just say no honey mustard. No, I need enough queso for the whole pretzel. I think I use it. There's more than enough for the whole pretzel. And that's just a little taste of this episode. Well, it was perfect

because when I got the chips, I didn't need to share my queso with her and it just punched a bunch of chips onto her plate. I just hear him whispering and I look over and he's holding the plate and he's like, knock them off. Knock some off for you. Don't mind if I do. I'm just kind of shaking them and she's hitting them. Shake them from the nacho tree.

Then at one point, I'd say like five minutes later, that's why it surprised me. I made a slight movement and all of a sudden one chip fell. And I just went, where'd that come from? And she leans over and she's like, that was you. That was your chip. I don't know where it was, but precariously hanging on the table.

But it was an experience. All these stories and more with our Madam Web recording. I decided to order chips queso after that. We'll talk about that in the Madam Web. There's so much.

You're opening Madam Web's box here. Alright. There's a whole segment of Nick's stuff. You're opening Madam Web's box here. Madam Web's box. All right, that's it. Jordan, take us out. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend

about the show where we eat food and rate the food and talk about Madam Web. Yeah, dude. Bye. Bye. Spider-Man. We'll see you next time.