100% Eat - Taco Bell Enchirito & Chile Verde Fries

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Taco Bell Enchirito & Chile Verde Fries so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about eating on the show, the importance of free food, getting serious about ordering, and Pasta Pete candy. Are you coming to RTX or what dude, the Rat & Grackle ain't gonna sauce itself. Grab a ticket and info at www.RTXaustin.com  Sponsored by Honey http://joinhoney.com/facejam and ExpressVPN http://expressvpn.com/facejam Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wow, you're in the middle of eating and Nick started it? I'm not eating. That was crazy. I wasn't even done yet. Welcome to Face Jam, the show where normally we don't eat on the show, but I was still chewing. That's not what we're eating. I'm eating a food, but not the food. The food where we usually try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do, but not the food that I'm eating. No, that's different.

I'm your host, Michael Jones, who's not eating. I'm just holding it in my mouth, but I'm not eating it. Alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you and are you eating it? I'm not eating it now. Would you like me to hold it for you? In your mouth? Squirrel style? I squirreled it.

You squirreled it? Because I didn't want to, you know. I appreciate it. It caught me off guard starting the intro. But then he asked if you wanted to hold it. How are you going to hold it? I would have nailed it for him in my hand and he would have done the intro

and then I would give it back to him. Oh, so he would hold it, he would take it out of his mouth, put it in your hand. Can you think of a better way to do it, Eric? No, no, no, no. I thought he was offering to hold his own. Yeah, me too.

Separately. And I thought that was interesting. That's what I thought. But then what he proposed is so much weirder that I'm kind of impressed. I don't think it was that weird. I think it was quite practical. Oh.

It was kind. I'll tell you that. It was kind. It was a kind offer. I might have taken them up on it if I had fully grasped what was being offered. Yeah. And then I would have to go, wait, wait, wait. I have to get my phone out because I have to take a video of this fucking insane shit.

And then we would have to do the intro. Yeah. What I wasn't eating just now is what we're reviewing. The Taco Bell Enchirito and Chile Verde Fries. Which is not what I was eating. No, you were eating something else. We ate it earlier. You were eating something else that you got

also from Taco Bell. What? Now, can you walk me through your order? Because it was specific. Nick also got... We'll get to that. Christ. We'll get to that. So, today... Are we really going to dive right into food talk on the food podcast?

Not this food talk. No, no, no. It's not this food, it's a food. Because... We're really skirting around these rules that we've set up for ourselves. And don't let us find out. And truly it is to get around to hammer Nick. It's true. I guess if it's to get around to Hammer Nick. Oh, what?

It's true. I guess if it's to Hammer Nick, I'll allow it. Okay. Instead of skirting, let's putter. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So not that I'm opposed to shouting out extra food while we're there anyway. Yes.

But that's usually for a different reason. That is strictly to upset me and not to get what he wants. Yeah. Okay. But today was a day. We call it funny. Today was a day. Not all of us call it funny.

I just worked out a lot this morning. I was so hungry. I'm like, oh, I'm going to eat today. And then lunch came. You've been working out? It was a little bit. A little bit. I started it this morning.

And I'm hoping to see results soon. Like by the end of the night. It's a real 10 and 10 kind of thing, you know? It's, yeah. Yeah. And people told me, hey, be careful. I said, hey, mind your own beeswax. That's true.

10 and 10. Mm-hmm. But I was like, oh, we're going to eat in like 90 minutes like I can't eat. And knowing it was a real human issue, I texted you, or I just messaged the group group and I'm like, hey, did we order ahead or are we ordering there? Because if we order ahead, sometimes it's like, boom, boom, we're in and we're out. We pick it up.

And I'm just like. No room for funny business. Right. And I'm like, you go, no, we're going to order it there. We can order it if we want. I go, no, I'm just like hungry. I'm going to need extra food. I'm just saying it out.

It's not a bit. I'm hungry. I want food. That's it. And then immediately Nick swoops in. I mean, like a grackle on a chip, just fucking flew in. Extra food? His text

was, extra food, eh? And I was talking to you about it before we'd gotten the food, but also before we had seen Jordan and Nick, and I went, really, I don't get it. I'm just saying, I'm hungry, I'm gonna get extra food, whether it's in the order or I get

extra, just for a time commitment. Nick can get food whenever he wants. It's like, oh shit, he's getting food! It's kind of like saying, he's gotta get extra food. Well, I'm bringing this food on the side for my kid, Justin Kidd. We're talking extra cookies.

The kid's eating. What I pointed out to Michael is that, yes, when we go, he could place his own order and get extra food. Yeah. But to Nick, that's not the important thing. Nick is a radio station guy, and the important thing is the free food that he can get from this thing. is the free food that he can get from this thing. That is the most important thing is that it's free and it's extra and it's for him. It's also not that there has to be, but as I explained,

to me there's a very clear line of like, oh, the Michael face jam and the food we're eating or a bit we're doing whatever and because of that it's such a thing I'm like hey I just want this there's no difference the man over me going hey I'm gonna have this on the side he's going yeah the exact same

either way so very interesting layout of the Taco Bell yes I guess you could go up and speak to a person and ask So very interesting layout of the Taco Bell. Yes. I guess you could go up and speak to a person and ask for food that way. And have them get it wrong. Yeah. Or you could use the very nice and large touchscreen pads just adjacent to them.

Long iPads. It was long. Yeah, very long. And it's why I bothered customizing it because it was already there. So that's what I wanted to walk through. Yeah, very long. And it's why I bothered customizing it. Yeah. Because it was already there.

So that's what I wanted to walk through. Much easier to tell Eric what to tap than tell a person who, like, probably doesn't care too much about what you get. You got a Chalupa. Okay, so I just went with the Chalupa, right? Which is, like, it's like that soft, crispy shell. That's the best. It's part of the gordita crunch right it's like this

with a crunchy shell inside of it I think is the gordita crunch but I wasn't feeling I needed that extra shell I hear that so anyway I got it

it comes standard as beef replace the beef with chicken you know cause more protein oh cause you just started working out I started working out I read that

something like two four hundred grams a day or something chicken good chicken good anywhere you go Taco Bell got chicken vis-a-vis Taco Bell I've read that something like 200, 400 grams a day or something. Chicken good. Chicken good anywhere you go. Taco Bell got chicken vis-a-vis Taco Bell good. So while you were working out, you read this? Like this morning?

Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Reading a book, working out. I was eating a cheeseburger, actually, while I was working out and reading. But anyway, you replace the beef with chicken. And then make it, well, you made it supreme. It's just easier. I won't make it supreme

because then I'm just gonna take off the tomatoes yeah supreme is sour cream and tomatoes but you made it supreme and I went that's fine

I'll just remove the tomatoes okay it's the same it's the same difference right my question is just why make it another food item if it's two things added to it

no I get it is that the most popular two things they add to it I get people usually like hand in hand I guess it's like hand-in-hand, I guess. It's like a real McDonald's ketchup and mustard situation.

And they decided to call it Supreme. Yeah, it also definitely makes it seem like there's more to it than, oh, it's just sour cream and tomatoes. Like, I like both those things,

but it's not Supreme. So you did the chicken and then you did no tomatoes. No tomatoes. Extra cheese, because I always get extra cheese. That was the one that threw me was the extra,

I never thought about doing extra cheese at Taco Bell. Oh, yeah. Especially if you're lactose intolerant. That's exactly what I was thinking. Well, do you want to stay the course, or do you want to win? I hadn't considered that. You've got to push those limits. As a lifelong loser, I never considered that.

He just started working out, but he's already got the right mindset. He's been the mindset. Well, I've been mentally training for my entire life. Yeah, yeah. It's that mindset grind set, dude. That's what it is. It's all got the right mindset. He's in the mindset. Well, I've been mentally training for my entire life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's that mindset grind set, dude. That's what it is. It's all about pushing your limits.

Yeah, that's right. It's classic alpha maneuver. He might be going Sigma. You know, sometimes you can't beat Bahamut yet. You got to grind out a couple more levels before you go back to the moon. That's pretty incredible. You know, there's just a dragon on the moon. Anyway, I also always add the creamy jalapeno sauce. Oh, you said it's the best thing there.

They put it in the quesadillas and then nothing else. That's where it comes. It's like that little tang. If you get the quesadilla, it's that jalapeno sauce. And once I discovered that through the mobile apps, as I've said many times on this very podcast, that's the best part about mobile apps is you can be a dickhead customizing or really you just find out stuff you didn't know you could put on and if you just have someone that sucks ass

at ordering it's just a lifesaver oh I'll just do it on the phone and then you just go name or even McDonald's they go what is your processing number yes oh I'm B47 because only McDonald's

needs a code. Every other one in business goes, who's this for? And you give them a name and they give you the food. They're probably just messing with people, though, to see how far they'll go.

It's just so unnecessary. They're going to start doing the fifth element thing where you've got to put your hands on the yellow circle and classify yourself as a human. Yep.

You put them on the golden arches. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. I'd do that. So, like, that order, I will say, looked really good. And you got two of those. And then we all quietly turned and looked at Nick.

And he went, no, I don't. His face was one of like I shouldn't No I definitely don't need it And there's no way you can convince me He had that look on his face So we looked at him for two seconds longer And then he went I have one of those

Oh man He broke immediately It was really like You'll never break. I like... It was really like, you'll never break me. I'll tell you everything you need. I'll never talk. What do you want? It's like in The Departed.

Yeah. You think you're going to get away with this? You fucking killed me. You're so fucking dead. Just fucking kill me. Just fucking kill me. Somebody edit the monkey into Matt Damon's part where they're going down the elevator.

The best scene in that movie? Just fucking kill me. Just fucking kill me. A chalupa. Yeah. Not getting killed in the elevator. You know what I mean? Yep. Yeah. Instead of the bullet going in the other guy's head, a chalupa flies in Nick's mouth. What happened? At the end of the movie,

a chalupa scurries across the balcony. Oh, no. It was a chalupa. Oh, shit. It's a metaphor. I like continuing this thing of putting face jam in the monkey into these movies. Should have ordered three. There's some Scorsese stuff.

Yeah. Oh, yep. Yep. This is awesome. Can we de-age the monkey as well? Absolutely. Is the Irish monkey a movie? Oh, definitely. It's definitely a movie that is

three hours and I think people saw, but I was not one of them. I didn't watch it either. Too long. Especially if you're something that was on Netflix. I'm a bunch of old guys. Don't get me wrong. Great old guys, but I went, these guys, they're all real old. But de-aging the old guys. It's so long. I don't like the de-aging the old guys

thing. Yeah, especially with a guy like Robert De Niro whose career really kicked off playing oh I didn't see I don't know I didn't see

his career kicked off playing a younger version of another actor yep so you know do that yeah did you

I just I just read like an hour ago the it was a supposed quote from Harrison Ford that was like he told

the stunt guy like fuck off he was trying to help him do a stunt on a horse and he was like fuck off I'm an old man and I want to look like one so needless to say the Indiana Jones movie is going to be awesome yeah it's going to be some great stunts old Harrison Ford going wow he's so young but how come he's puttering?

Wow, look at that body. Remember 15 years ago when they made Indiana Jones 4? I know. And everyone was like, he's way too old to keep playing Indiana Jones. Yeah, but to be fair, that was 15 years ago. With the technology today, it's like he's 30 years younger. So really, he's like 15 years younger than 15 years ago. It tracks.

I started working out this morning. I know it's fascinating to talk about the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or whatever and how it sucks. Are you going to say

Tears of the Kingdom? Yeah, Tears of the Kingdom. Tears of the Crystal Skull and how it sucked. But it really, truly did and I don't know that I've left the theater more disappointed

than when I saw that movie. I remember leaving the theater being utterly confused when I saw that movie. I remember leaving the theater being utterly confused. Uh huh. I was too confused to be disappointed. Yeah it was really like something. Yeah I feel like last Jedi left me very disappointed based on my expectations but like

I didn't have expectations for Indiana Jones 4 but for some reason You just thought it'd be an Indiana Jones movie. Yeah but for some reason I was just. CGI gop Indiana Jones movie yeah and then CGI gopher not just the gopher but the aliens just everything yeah

just everything yeah I like when Chia picks up the hat people forgot about that part he's gonna be the new one I never forgot 15 years later

so when's he gonna show up in the movie well I assume the movie's gonna the movie's gonna open on his funeral they're gonna do a real Charlie Sheen situation oh you mean like the way the Flash is surely going to end show up in the movie. Well, I assume the new movie's gonna open on his funeral. Yep. They're gonna do a real Charlie Sheen situation.

Oh, you mean like the way the Flash is surely going to end? Like, he's going to run through the Speedverse and come back as like a different looking guy? Oh, he looks different now. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, a different man. No, I don't think so. They do that. He said, sorry. Is it in, uh... And he was like, I'm sorry.

And they were like, they said, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the Flash movie people went good enough for us you mean it yep

I think something like that but they also said it while plugging their ears and walking out of the room to be like don't take it back don't take it back

don't take it back is it the Indiana Jones movies that do the thing where like the Paramount logo fades into like oh yeah the first shot of the movie because that's where the gopher came from it was like the Paramount logo fades into like the first shot of the movie because that's where

the gopher came from. It was like the hill. So cool. I just wonder what shape Shia LaBeouf's grave is going to be when they do that gimmick. It's going to be the T

from the parents like a cross. You know what I mean? But a capital T. Oh, maybe it's got like a they're uncovering it. You know, it's like oh here it is. Yeah. I think it's got like a, they're uncovering it, you know? Oh, it's pretty good.

It is, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's the P for Paramount, and it just, it pushes in. It pushes into nothing but black, but then dirt falls from the side, and we're looking into the gray. You're like secondary reactive to what you said.

So fucking funny. Thinking about it. I mean, they gotta mention him. But like, that's the thing. No, they don't. I'm just gonna keep screaming, where's your wife? Thinking about it. Where's your boy?

Where's your son? Thinking about how they address it by going, yeah, he's dead. Like that. Oh, did they do it? That was like. So fucking funny. Yeah, his mom died and went crazy. Oh, man.

Got run over by a new car because it's 19-whatever. And never thought Indiana Jones would be here, did you? Because you never wanted it. Indiana Jones, 1999. He's like, Indy, I sent you an email. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. I hope this movie takes place in 1999.

That's six. Oh, fuck. Yeah, this next one will definitely be big. Who's he fighting? Who's he fighting in this one? It's got to be Nazis again. What are they doing? It was the Ruskies in the last one, so I just imagine it's more of that

because the Cold War, mind that for the next 30 years. Who's he going to be fighting? 30 years. New Nazis. He's going looking for them. Edward Norton? The 70s Nazis.

Yeah, yeah. It's American History X type shit. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The whole barn that they go to, Indiana Jones infiltrates. We're still doing this podcast, huh?

Really got off on that one. We're just coming up with good movie ideas, guys. I see the clock's not on. Uh-oh. We have been forgetting the clock the last couple of days. It's right there. Oh, man, Nick forgot the clock, guys. I mean, he is the closest.

We're all mad at Nick. You know why we forgot the clock? Is that? Because right when we were going to start, somebody busted in. Oh, that's right. Demanding. I don't know. Any kind of treat.

Yeah, I don't know if it was any kind of treat or candy specifically. I will say there have been changes. Changes? What does that mean? I share an office with Pasta Pete. Oh. I went into the office today. One, how'd that happen?

Two, how's that going? I mean, look around you. Yeah. He can only fuck up so many times. They kept telling me last leg, but I don't know what that means. Um, they said, we're gonna,

we're gonna put it in terms. You can finally understand. So he's got me on the outs. Uh, I went into the office to get our, uh, format sheet printed out. And the second I walked in pasta,

Pete went, do you need face jam candy? No one else is in pasta pete went get any face jam candy no one else is in the office uh-huh get a face jam candy uh i just went not did he even like look up no uh i said not on me but we're about to record and the snack today is a candy and i went okay i have to print these out but you can come with me and i'll give you one or whatever and he went okay yep i got i started moving from my desk and i was going to get a couple steps and they go all right i'm i'm going now the second i moved he was up out of his chair going okay and it was like it was like right behind you and then right behind me the whole time to get the candy yeah and then try to run away from me. Nope.

And then got. He's got to make sure there actually is candy. Yeah. And then got the candy. And I said, I don't know what this is yet. So he's handed it to him. Pleasantries. Spoilers for the candy.

And then I said, don't eat it in here. And then he scurried away rat style to go eat his candy. It was fucking. It happened so fast. It was like a whirlwind. We talk about it all the time, but he really is just a child. Yeah. It was fucking it happened so fast it was like a whirlwind. We talk about it all the time but he really is just a child. Yeah. It was pretty exciting. He just stood at the door waiting for the candy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty exciting. It was pretty good. He does ask everyone if they have candy. Yeah but he keeps saying face jam candy. Yeah but he's right. That's the problem. There is face jam candy. He's probably had the most success with face jam candy than any other candy.

So now he just knows he's got to say face jam candy. And he'll ask that to anybody. Exactly. And then he's just like, I don't get it. I get candy every time I ask Eric, but no one else. It's the dog association of when I put on my shoes, he knows things is happening. Yeah. Yeah.

So anyway, Bell Pinions, anyone? Still? Oh. My God. Do you work for Taco Bell? No bell because you just created a new uh just create a new food yeah that's not bad uh we are we for taco bell or against taco bell i'm very for taco bell michael is probably the most for taco bell person i know taco bell's the reason we have this podcast and here's the other

thing too like extra cheese people. It all makes sense now. It does. Yeah. People really like dislike or like fast food. You know, they'd be like, I don't eat any of it

or whatever. Even people who like fast food would be like, I'm going to McDonald's with Taco Bell. Taco Bell gets a wrap. Oh yeah. Well,

it's a real pants shitter, I guess. That's, I think it's a tummy, it's a tummy hurt or pants shitter. I think that's what people say, but you must have

the weakest fucking stomach if Taco Bell tears you up it's all bad I'm sorry what did he say? we're in the middle of a tangent where we're talking about you must have a weak stomach Nick has written in giant letters tasty wraps that's his bell pinion

oh I thought you were referring to the burritos. This is a mess. Nick, you ever go to Taco Bell and get cheesy roll-ups? Oh, yeah. It's like, I go to Taco Bell, like, my whole life. I really, don't get me wrong, I really leaned into, like, the fast food world in, like, my teenage years and adulthood. Like, I had it as a kid.

My parents didn't raise me to be this animal I just became it so it's like when I say like I've had all this shit as a kid I'm just being dragged down it I've had all this shit as a kid but really got serious about it you know as an adult but even me as an adult

until I met my my wife my now still together still together wife they were like yeah cheesy roll-ups and I'm like I don't know what that is and it's just a fucking tortilla with cheese in it and melted

and they're like here you piece of shit we melted the cheese we melted cheese in a tortilla you fucking baby you little fucking gooby baby. It is $1. You're welcome. Get out.

It was probably less. It was probably like 80 cents back in the day. But it's not bad. Sometimes you just want to put some hot cheese in your mouth. When I was a kid. It's a vehicle to do it. The worst is when they give you one and it's not fucking melted. It's still cold.

Oh, no. You son of a bitch. When I was a kid, I would just throw a tortilla on the stove. Yeah. Flip it over after a couple seconds, get it just a little bit brown, and then put some butter on it and roll that up. Oh, yeah. That's delicious.

Same thing. Same thing, but with cheese. Never thought about cheese as a kid, though. Yeah. Taco Bell is a place where my tastes have changed with it, where I used to only eat off the value menu. I would get like the potato soft tacos and like, which whatever is like a dollar.

It's still one of the, it's one of the cheapest places you can go. You can. And that's what I would do. So much food for little at Taco Bell. For $7, I would get like six items and I'd be fucking stuffed. But now I'm a grown man and I'm eating chalupas

and you know what I will pay $3.30 for those a little splurge a little treat it's the only time I do it too the difference

the difference between alright I'm gonna I got five bucks or I'm gonna get something cheap or I'm gonna really be like I'm gonna eat these two things

and then the side of nachos or whatever Taco Bell is great and it's cheap if you go I'm gonna get whatever I want it's cheap. Yep. If you go, I'm going to get whatever I want. It's so expensive. Yes, it is. You have to be careful.

When you ignore the combos and the deals, it's like, oh. Your customizations and stuff, that made it like a $6 chalupa. I know, but it's fucking good. That's the problem. Yep. One of the funny things about that touchscreen we were using is that whenever you increase the quantity of an item, instead of just it changing the number, the total, it like...

Like the cost. Yeah, it's like a... How would you describe it? It's like rounding up like an odometer. Oh, it was like a slot machine. It was like a slot machine. Yeah. But only it's getting more expensive.

It was crazy. But in a reverse kind of... That's still like in your lizard brain kind of satisfying to see. I'm going to win big. You want to keep doing it. Add more, add more. It was... I've never...

I don't think I've ever experienced that before. Why is it like that? Why is it like that? It's a very strange user interface choice. It doesn't make any fucking sense. It's dynamic. Yep. Okay. Yeah. No, very impressive to look at. I'm sure like integrating it and like implementing it was

you know, a victory for the team. Yeah. But it's a strange choice when you want to be associated with low cost food and Oh boy, it's going through the roof now. choice when you want to be associated with low-cost food and... Oh boy, it's going through the roof

now! What would really be cool is like they had some sort of honey integration that was like oh, there's coupons and then you literally watch it drop. Oh yeah. That would be satisfying. The number should go up normal style and then when you do savings of some kind

it should go up normal style and then when you do savings of some kind, it should go up normal style, and then when you do savings, it should roll down what you're talking about. And little fireworks should come out of the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like actual pyrotechnics. Like a good crash. Yeah.

Like it's crashing, but yeah! Yeah, exactly. And now we should do the haiku. Oh, sure. What are we at, like five minutes? Yeah, yeah, about six or seven, I think. Fusion and wordplay. Yield stomachs twinged by hubris.

The bell conquers all. Wow. That's awesome. That's pretty good. Taco Bell really, you know, they push the envelope. And sometimes we pay the price. And we talked about it all their food items are just oh it's like five different mash this mash this new word you said where it's

like the supreme is just sour cream and tomato and that's a different thing yes and that is all over the menu everyone loves it everyone loves it is everywhere it is everywhere on the fucking menu uh but i don't it's just more wet yeah it's creamy wet yep but it's maybe not everything we ate was creamy wet no no well some went on get to that but there are stages yeah a little bit of a roller coaster ride i feel like taco bell only started as a mexican restaurant. I would not say now it is. I would say it is a Taco Bell restaurant. They have transcended what Mexican cuisine is and is a cuisine unto itself. It really makes its own thing.

Like McDonald's makes hamburgers. Now, they make their own thing. Would you use the word transcend? Oh, right. Maybe. Like they've sidestepped. Right. I guess they've accidentlypped. Right. Maybe they've... It might be too strong.

I guess they've exited the sphere of influence. How do you transcend sideways? Yeah. What's it called when you crawl out from underneath the garage door? Dad, Dad, I'm transcending the garage. It's more like the bottom fell out. And where they landed wasn't so bad well they're still on the way down

but they are away from where they started yeah transcend was the wrong word I think sidesend Taco Bell is sidesending oh man I wonder if people agree with you I wonder if people agree that they've sidesended

how many times have we eaten this now this is like the third, third or fourth. Have we hit fourth yet on something? This might be fourth meal. It's only the second haiku for Taco Bell, I guess.

Yeah, because it's... Because I had to go, I had to go way back. Yeah, you want to let us know the last time we did it? I will. I'll tell you what, but I was going to say too,

the other thing about Taco Bell and especially about that fourth meal, this is a good thing. Even before the world were like more and more places were 24 hours, Taco Bell was always like, we're open late as shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They've been consistently like 1, 2 a.m. And it came in handy when we were in Chicago because it was the only place open.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was the last time I had Taco Bell. That was even for the show. Same. Our previous Taco Bell episode was released March 30th, 2021, where we ate the Taco Bell Quesalupa. It received an average score of 74. It did pretty well. What an interesting innovation. Yeah. They took a quesadilla and a chalupa? No, no. It received an average score of 74. It did pretty well. What an interesting innovation.

Yeah. They took a quesadilla and a chalupa? No, no. Well, yeah, sort of. I just ate half of that. They put cheese. They just put cheese inside the chalupa shell. And you're supposed to be able to pull it apart.

I remember that. Oh, I remember that. I remember. It didn't really work, though. Where's the cheese? Yeah. Did we pull it apart? And we went, nope.

I think so. Yeah. What a mess. When's the first time we went there? Was it when we went to the place that was supposed to have drinks and they didn't, nope. I think so. Yeah. What a mess. When's the first time we went there? Was it when we went to the place that was supposed to have drinks and they didn't? Yeah, the cantina. God, that was forever ago. Why do we always end up in that part of town and we don't get the thing?

Do you have a- Or drinks. Yeah. It is always that part of town. It's that, yeah. The drag is a hellhole. Yeah, it's fucking shitty. I think that's the only explanation.

Wow. Nick couldn't believe you said that. I don't know if this is in the facts, but I have it on good authority that that Taco Bell cantina is not just closed, but it has been leveled to the ground. Oh, they like demolished it. To build a new one? Yeah. A better one. I think they did it to build parking for the Taco Bell cantina.

Desperately needed. It's funny. I thought of you guys. I could fire right into the second fact here, and I will in a second. Yeah. But I thought of you guys. It made me laugh, and I went, oh, they'll get a kick out of this.

Guess where I went on Memorial Day? Where'd you go? Chili's. Did you really? By choice. Wow. It was, where do you want to go for lunch? And Lindsey said, Chili's.

Wow. And I went, what an idea. And then we got the Southwest Egg Rolls. Oh. And I went, what an idea. And then we got the Southwest egg rolls. And they were just wet. Yeah. Sliding down my throat. And I went, this is some wet ass food. Are you an adult, baby?

Fucking for the troops. Choke this down. That's what it was. God damn. It was good. The Doritos Locos Taco, which was dreamed up in 2012 during Taco Bell's 50th anniversary, went through 30 pitches and 40 rounds of testing before being released. After the two years of total time it took to create,

tasters marveled that they finally made something that tastes like Taco Bell at Taco Bell. Congrats. Congrats. What did they think they did do you think somebody puts that on their resume as like oh one of my biggest achievements the two-year uh project cycle on the doritos loco taco project cycle the amount of slack conversations that went through it and meetings that's what it had to be it had to be slack conversations meetings to be Slack conversations, meetings, bureaucracy, red tape. And then they didn't even keep Cool Ranch. No!

Arguably the better one. I don't know. When people talk about like, I've been working overtime to provide for my family, it's like, you should take time for your family because when you really look back at the work that you've done, you're no better or worse than the people who have created the Doritos Locos Taco.

Nothing lasts forever. Doritos Loco Taco. Yep. Except nacho cheese. Right. That has so far lasted forever. So far. Of the flavors.

The one that they offer. They will keep doing it. I just, I'm not happy about it. Mm-hmm. It's, I don't even get it usually. Yep. Next. The Taco Bell dog's mom.

This is a dog, I assume. I assume the Chihuahua. The Taco Bell dog. No, no, no. But the Taco Bell dog's mom, as in it's dog mom or the mom that owned the dog? No, no, the dog mom. Okay. The mom that is a dog.

Yeah, the physical dog mom. Because there's probably a human mom in there somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just making sure. The Taco Bell dog mom. Because there's probably a human mom in there somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Just making sure. The Taco Bell dog's dog mom was in Legally Blonde 2 and Geico commercials, which makes us think that Geico's mom eat the queso lupa on TV or die. The Geico's mom from Geico should eat the queso lupa on TV or die. What's the problem? If we're doing crossovers, if the Taco Bell dog's mom go on Geico,

then Geico gecko mom go on Taco Bell, eat queso lupa. Or die. What's the problem? Or die. Geico's mom eat the queso lupa on TV. Or die. What's the problem?

Little known fact. That's what funny or die was known as before they were shocked. Oh, goddammit. Or Die. Goddammit, you son of a bitch. I think Gecko Mommy, Case of Lupo on TV. I started reading the next one. No, what's the problem?

Okay, then let's get into it. Wow. Someone's about to get upset. Here we go talking about it. Uh-oh. And what can only be described as an Arby's situation. No, what's the problem? Okay, then let's get into it. Wow. Someone's about to get upset. Here we go talking about it. Uh-oh. In what can only be described as an Arby's situation, the manager of a Dallas Taco Bell

attacked two customers by soaking them with scalding hot water. The customers complained about an incomplete order which led to the manager attempting to melt their dicks off like they were in an Arby's bathroom.

Oh, no. We gotta stop! I don't want to talk about it anymore. Damn, dude. Why do they keep bringing it up? They gotta stop melting each other. Quit it. Did he... Did he yell that? Or is it just implied?

Was he yelling, I'm gonna melt your dick. I'm gonna melt your dick like they did in Arby's. Or we don't know. Stand back from the counter so I have a good shot. I tried to find recordings and I couldn't do it. Damn. Crazy, man. Scrubbing them off the internet.

Also, I don't know. I have it right in front of me. But I did see it as soon as it popped up on the news. And I went, oh, no. And sent it to you guys. Arby's sued after manager found dead in freezer. Yep, yep, yep. And I went, oh, it's yep. Oh, it's out.

Dude, it's... Word is out. It is developing, this story. Apparently, it was a known issue with that freezer. Holy shit! No way! And the manager was visiting from another store temporarily. Holy fuck!

And they didn't tell her! Dude! Oh, no. That's crazy. Wow. It Oh, no. That's crazy. Wow. It's utterly tragic. That's fucking insane. That's fucking crazy.

Dude, Arby's nuts, bro. Can't trust them. If only they had that Taco Bell manager. Arby's is dangerous. Arby's does all kinds of temperatures. Very hot, very cold, not much in between. Not much in between and always with negative effects. Oh my God.

Oh, he's telling the weather. Oh, okay. It's 89 degrees. It's actually really nice right now. Yeah. All right. On May 16th of this year. What was that?

Last fact? Guys, please. Stop stepping on each other. One. This year, What was that? Last fact? Guys, please. Stop stepping on each other. This year, Taco Ball announced they're attempting to cancel the Taco Tuesday trademark owned by the Wyoming-based Taco John's and Gregory's Restaurant and Bar in New Jersey. I don't know where the name ended. Yeah. I'm not exactly sure what the name of the restaurant was.

Restaurant and Bar in New Jersey is all part of the name. Quote, nobody should have exclusive rights in a common phrase, the petition said. Quote, can you imagine if we weren't allowed to say, what's up? Or brunch chaos. I know that sounds like a joke I wrote, but it's in the real petition. What the fuck? Eric, could you write legal briefs? Can you believe it?

I'm a lawyer. They wrote, can you believe what would happen if we couldn't say what's up? believe it? I'm a lawyer. We can't. They wrote. Can you believe what would happen if we couldn't say what's up? You know what I'm thinking, though? Uh-huh. This would be me if I went lawyer instead of president. Oh, yeah.

Yep. Oh, yeah. I'd be saying, like, come on, dog. Let's think about this. Homie. Cut it out. Yo, what's up, pimp? Listen.

Hey, Play playboy not guilty these are all good use these in court and judges will love it yeah yeah if you need to they love being called big pimp yeah cut cut that part out and play it for your lawyer i also like anything going to court over trademark yeah and someone being found guilty. Yeah. Guilty. Guilty of trademark. Oh, no. Taco Bell doesn't. So that Taco Tuesday thing for promotions for a bunch of different stuff, it's like under this big trademark from those two restaurants. Taco Bell can't do anything with it.

And they wrote this petition like it's such a common phrase. You should be able to use it. Like everyone can use it. And then it's such a common phrase. You should be able to use it. Like, everyone can use it. And then it's these other restaurants going, yeah, this is like a mega corporation going, that was a good idea. Give it to us. Oh, boy. You know what?

They have a good argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really was like, well, Taco Tuesday is a specific thing for a restaurant. And that's why we started it in 1989. And Taco Bell is going... And you haven't started doing it until recently. In 2023, Taco Bell's like, no, but we want it.

But what if we did it? What if we big guys did it? I'm inclined to hear Taco Bell out. Oh, yeah? I mean, like, Taco Tuesdays and they're like Taco Bell. You know what I mean? But what about Taco John's?

Yeah, but like Taco John? I like Taco John's and Gregory's. It makes're like Taco Bell. You know what I mean? But what about Taco John's? Yeah, but like Taco John? I like Taco John's and Gregory's. It makes me sound Taco John. Restaurant and bar. For some reason it makes me say John. Yeah, it makes you weird. Yeah.

And if that's happening weird, what happens with this trademark? I also like the idea of Taco Bell going, we need this. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Beyond fuck that. It would be chaos if not. What is that going to do for you? Can you imagine if you couldn't say brunch?

Do you think what you're talking about is the same as that? But do you think they're going to get this and get more sales? Because they can say Taco Tuesday? You're already Taco Bell. Why not just go with Taco Thursday? Yeah, go with Taco Wednesday. Make it your own fucking business. Yeah, it would be like Taco Thursday. There you go fucking thing It's a slant Yeah it'll be like Taco Thursday

There you go Have somebody with like a lisp do it Yeah what's the Like just do that Bring the dog back Yeah Bring the dog back Bring back the dog's mom again

Yeah bring back the dog's mom Bring back the gecko mom I really like Their argument The little guy's argument And I also like As sound as that is Taco Bell's response being

come on that's oh that's all this is come on it's talking about going what if gecko's mom eat the kissalupa yeah or die or die we we die in this you know that's going though yeah what's the gecko mom up to no i meant the the may 16th you know like that's they're in the middle of it like right it's there's like a I mean? They're in the middle of it. There's, like, a lot right now. Like, they are... Well, good luck, guys. Yeah.

Good luck. May the best taco win. I can see this going in the Supreme Court. It's like a regular court, but it's got tomatoes and... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! Yeah. This is good.

You have one on each side. Getting applause. Yeah. I just asked you if you got applause. Uh-huh. That's true. There it is. I knew it was, oh, it was a premonition.

Yeah, it was delayed. I knew someone was going to be clapping for you. See, Jordan, welcome back. Finally, some recognition right here. Oh, man. Those are the facts. Do you guys feel like you learned a lot about Taco Bell? Not really.

What? I feel like I still learn more about Arby's. What about you? I learned more about Taco John's and Gregory's Restaurant and Bar in New Jersey. What about? It really is just kind of a run-on sentence. I don't know. What about Gecko Mom?

I'm okay with Gecko Mom. Gecko Gecko Mom? Yeah, Gecko Gecko Mom. Gecko Gecko Mom. Now, Gecko's Mom technically is what? Like an old phone or something? Well no, he's made from a computer. Hold on. You know what I mean? It doesn't have a computer mother. Like the twat was a real dog.

It had to be birthed. Well that was a different two year project life cycle that somebody worked on. I'm just saying, I hadn't considered gecko mom the computer. It'd be weird if they went through the trouble of making Gecko Mom and creating backstory for her and putting her in the Geico show bible. So you think it'll be here's the Gecko. Here's the show bible for the

Gecko. Here's the Gecko and then here's like a caveman are in there. Oh yeah. Yeah. They got a whole show. Yeah. How come the Gecko they should try to give it the gecko And maybe the caveman can make a cameo

The problem is You're always going to be competing against gecks Oh that's true And the problem with that is that gecks Is so funny He's so funny He's making Pop culture references that I don't get.

And it makes me want to get them. Because I'm a dumb kid. What I like about it is that the repetition helps me remember so many of them. And when I'm playing. It makes you want to keep playing. Yeah, it makes you just want to keep. I'm like Gex. What else?

Oh, late night party at Jack Nicholson's place? Well, that's pretty good, man. I think I've heard all of them at this point. He was in Ghostbusters, right? Can we shake one loose that I haven't heard, maybe? No, that's all I have on this level. Eat the queso lupa or die, and that's Gex. I would rather play Chameleon Twist.

Yeah, I'm a Chameleon Twist fan. If we're going with, like, lizard-based games. What's your favorite lizard-based game? Oh, man. I don't know. Does Turok count? No, because that's not lizard-based. You are man.

Yeah. I don't know if I have a lizard-based game. Mm-hmm. Off the top. I'll be honest. Most of my gex was kind of secondhand knowledge. Oh, wow. I didn't even...

I was playing that game where you were a glove. Glover. Yeah. Yeah. What's it called? Glover. Is that your favorite glove-based game? Yeah. Were you. Glover. Yeah. What's it called? Glover. Is that your favorite glove-based game? Yeah.

Were you riding a ball? Yeah. What's he got going on? Would Rayman count as a glove-based game? I would say so. I think a dragon is a lizard. It is? Well, that's so many...

Do you think it's not? I mean, just in the sake of the conversation, you're going to move from two games to 10,000. Okay, so should we shorten it? You should probably just say dragon, not a lizard. Dragon, not a lizard. But Spyro is more lizard than dragon. No, so should we shorten it and say dragon, not a lizard? Dragon, not a lizard. But Spyro is more

lizard than dragon. No, he's not. He's certainly not. His name is Spyro the dragon. But if you look at him... Hey, Jordan, if they make a new one, it's called Spyro the lizard. I agree. But if you look at him next to Gex, and also look at him next to... Gecko Gecko's mom?

A dragon from Game of Thrones. Okay. Uh-huh. Dude. He's a little more Gex than me. I feel so stupid, dude, because someone's screaming the lizard answer at me, right? They're listening to the podcast. Oh, yeah.

This is your favorite lizard game. Michael, you talked about your favorite lizard game. You stream this lizard game all the time. Remember when you and everyone played the lizard game? You know what I am thinking, though, at least? It's not lizard-like, but it's a cool animal I'm going to root for. Rikki-tikki-tavik. Oh, okay.

That's who I root for. I'm about that. I'm about that. Because he'll fuck up a snake. He'll mongoose in, snake-eating guy. Don't fucking eat my baby, you little fucking snake. I'll send my mongoose in after you. That's right.

And that's my favorite lizard. My favorite lizard is a mongoose. What is the Taco Bell and Chorito, Jordan? Oh, yeah, Jordan, do you want to teach us about the food? Guys, we're like 10 minutes in. I will say this episode is really good. What? Yeah, I'm saying it right now.

Hey, let me just stop the episode. We're doing such a good job. Yeah, we're doing such a good job with this episode. It's because I got the extra food. Oh, we're getting applause again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nick's clapping. Well, he got the extra taco, too, so he's doing...

You almost said Taco Tuesday, and that would have been sued. Yeah, he's going to get that taco from now on. He's going to repeat it. The creamy jalapeno sauce. See, there was no sauce already on there. I want to try that on other things. Yeah, you got to take shit out, because usually they'll try and hammer some kind of ranch sauce at you, and I usually swap them.

Smart. You know. Jordan, Enchirito. Taco Bell, Enchirito Taco Bell Inchirito Seasoned beef Refried beans And onions Wrapped inside a warm flour tortilla

And covered with cheddar cheese And red sauce I glanced ahead at you And I thought Why is the word worm On this paper And then you read And then I realized

Worm flour I just glanced down And I thought worm Yeah it's a worm flour tortilla We're eating bugs Might be a worm in your brain I looked up what made it Inchirito Because That would the name would suggest half enchilada, half burrito.

And what this describes is basically an enchilada. Yeah. But instead of a corn tortilla, it's a flour tortilla. Is that the only difference? Does an enchilada usually have beans in it? Or is that also a difference? No, because I get a lot of enchiladas that are like chicken-based. Did they just put a burrito and then put the sauce and the cheese on it i think that's what it

is also when you think about incharito i don't know how i hate the name enchilada burrito inch inch incharito it's somebody's job two-year project life cycle to writing it down to take the word enchilada and burrito and find the best combination of the two. Really, like, take some days off work and hang out with your family. Like, just, I mean, like, just, it's not that important. I would have called it a burrata. That's pretty good. That sounds like a PlayStation game.

Burrata 2. Yeah. That's my favorite lizard game. Burrata 2. Spyro That's my favorite lizard game. Barada 2. Spyro's revenge. Barada 3. Homie's Quest. Homie's Quest.

It also sounds like the next one after Boruto. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it does. Barada. Yeah. My grandfather, Naruto, ate Taco Bell. Runs in the family. Chili Verde fries.

Crispy nacho fries. Black beans. Chili Verde fries. Crispy nacho fries, black beans, chili Verde sauce, nacho cheese sauce, Fiesta strips, reduced fat sour cream, thank God, honestly, and three cheese blend

wrapped inside a worm flour tortilla. Crazy. So much stuff listed there. Yeah. And all of it forgettable i love turning the page over for the press material and seeing so many paragraphs it's my favorite it's two full paragraphs but only like four sentences we're about to learn a lot yep on the heels of the love and passion we saw for mexican pizza we wanted to continue elevating the voices of our most loyal fans

by giving them exclusive access to a uniquely digital experience that fosters brand love. That's how I want to put that on Shia LaBeouf's grave in Indiana Jones. Elevating the voices. We heard your screams from the darkness. Mexican pizza. I'm going to tweet that sentence from the Face Jam account right now.

That's the crazy. Change the Mexican pizza thing to like, I don't know, monkey man or something. Oh, man. What a sentence. Just using the word elevating instead of the food, the voices of our most loyal fans. Yep.

A uniquely digital experience that fosters brand love. Incredible. This is hitting all of the marks for me. You also, like, I get you want to lean into like, you know, the fans wanted this. But even when they say, we continue elevating the voices. I remember the Mexican pizza going out and it was people shitting themselves on Twitter. Oh yeah.

But like, those are the voices you're talking about. There wasn't a champion of people like in the lobby of Taco Bell screaming Mexican pizza for us. It's a bunch of people being fucking annoying online. We must satiate them. Big mistake, honestly.

On the heels of the love and passion we saw for the sauce monkey, we wanted to continue elevating the voices of our most loyal fans by giving them exclusive access to a uniquely digital experience that fosters brand love. That's great. And then follow that up with a picture of him and be like, this is it. Nick, do you have the mask? Go get it. We should have. I mean, we should picture of him and be like, this is it. Nick, do you have the mask? Go get it.

We should have, I mean, we should really just have pictures on hand, right? Fine. I can use one that's on hand. It's just not as good. Just go get it. Go get it. Alright. Okay. Now talk shit about Nick all you want. I don't want to. I wish we got him two extra tacos just because I would have liked him to see him

worm his way through it. Worm. Worm? I don't know why the worm his way through it. Beep. Worm. Worm. I don't know why the worm thing is so funny. I don't know. It's sticking in my brain. Worm's a funny word today. I've been eating tapeworms lately.

Okay, so that's one sentence on the first paragraph. Yeah. We got about five minutes out of it, too. We sent him to go get his head. Yeah. Okay. Should have had it. An experience that fosters brand love, said Sean Tresvant, Taco Bell's chief brand officer.

Nobody gets Taco Bell more than our community, so we're thrilled to empower them with this in-app voting experience that allows them to have a direct impact on our menu. So, there's not a new press release for the Enchirito, But the Enchirito was from a late October voting thing where the Mexican pizza came out. And then it was like, hey, do you want this thing or this thing to come back? And the Enchirito was the winner. So what he's talking about was the fan voting contest. Those are their voices.

Wow. And via this in-app voting, they were elevated. Oh. What a uniquely. Oh, he's here. Yeah, look at that. Now he's getting clapped on. Here's what's going to happen.

Everyone got one today. Fire it off. Here's what's going to happen when I post this picture. Everyone is going to go, is that Michael? Because he's. He's flexing. Because he's flexing. Yeah.

Everyone's going to think he started working out today too. It'd be difficult because I have tattoos all over me but they'll do it anyway. Oh, you do have tattoos. I never noticed those. Should I just say this is it?

And then post the picture? Yes. 100%. I'm enjoying this uniquely digital experience that's fostering brand love could have put a poll I'm gonna quote tweet it we should do a face jam poll and ask the audience what they want us to bring

back next but something that's nothing good nothing that has been on the show before just make up new stuff oh man really incredible But something that's nothing good. Nothing that has been on the show before. Just make up new stuff. Oh, man. Really incredible. Hey, guess what?

That was just for the Enchirita. Yeah, we got one more, y'all. Okay. Spicy, crunchy, saucy. These are the flavor and texture profiles our fans crave time and time again at each Nacho Fries moment. What does that mean? Do you live in a series of Nacho Fry moments? I didn't think I did until this moment. What the What does that mean? Do you live in a series of nacho fry moments? I didn't think I did until this moment.

What the fuck does that mean? This nacho fries moment. I'm going to save that as a draft for Face Jam. Do you live in a series of sauce monkey moments? Says Liz Matthews, Taco Bell's chief food innovation officer. That's the job I want. Our food innovation team wanted to create layers of flavors for nacho fries, and we're proud on the boldness

of the new Chili Verde sauce. You can really taste the balanced pops of lime, garlic, and jalapeno in the sauce, and it's the perfect pairing for our beloved nacho fries. Can you do all those things? Could you taste the balanced pops of lime, garlic, and jalapeno in the sauce? Yeah, what did you think? I probably could have if they were balanced pops of flavor.

Oh! The problem with it is that it was not balanced. I guess this is where we get into the food because Jordan's been itching for this part. It seemed to have sunk to the bottom. Jordan was eating his french fries burrito and going, what happened? And then Aiden ate some more and went, hang on. And then ate some more and went, wait. And then ate some more and went,

where are we? Wait, we're back at it being bad. It went from a spectrum of, this is too dry to, oh, it's all on the bottom and it's too wet. Bless you. Bless you. The food or?

Who are you talking to? The food? Oh, bless the food? No, not bless the food. Oh, I was just making sure. I thought that maybe that was like, okay, cool. No, no, no, no. I thought we were talking about Mutt getting buried again

and we were blessing him. Oh, no, no, no. As he goes to Hades. That bitch is dead and gone. No one's talking about him anymore. Okay, that's first scene and we're on. We're moving on after that. Like, they're dead. As he goes to Haiti. That bitch is dead and gone. No one's talking about him anymore. Okay, that's first scene, and we're on. We're moving on after that. Like, they're dead.

It was horrific. It's Harrison Ford on a horse going, I'm an old man, and I want to look like an old man. And actually, you know what? It pans out. It's the intro of the mountain is the tip of the hat, and it's him taking it out of the grave. Oh, he's dead.

And putting it on his head. He's going, thanks for hanging on to it. I'm back, baby. I'll take that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Couldn't handle it, huh? Do it. That's just some old man.

None of us sounds like Harrison Ford. That's a hard voice to make. It's tough. He's kind of some old guy. Yeah. Yeah, he's a hard voice to make. It's tough. He's kind of some old guy. Yeah, he's very raspy and old. But they're going to de-age his voice probably too. Oh, cool.

Soften it. Yeah, soften his voice. So he sounds like when he met Callista, not his current, like married to Callista or whatever he's doing. Yeah, that's my favorite Harrison Ford. Yeah. Anyway, if the sauce had been properly distributed, I think that burrito would have been a little bit better. I enjoyed the middle part because that's where the texture came in

and it wasn't so dry. They put the little, like, tortilla chips in there and it added a good crunch. That one's mine if you want to see how it ended. I want to see how mine ended because I quit. It ended up. And now you're saying there might be stuff at the bottom. It was all at the bottom

and it was a combination of the beans and the chili verde sauce that made this black green ooze that I did not want to eat. So I also stopped eating it. What, this? That but

more green. More wet, more green. More wet than this? That, but more green. More wet, more green. More wet than this? Yeah, there you go. Not great execution, honestly. Poor effort on their part. But I think if it was, again, all properly distributed, I could have liked it.

The Enchirito was a burrito with red sauce on it and cheese. No way to eat a burrito. It's like that TikTok that was going around where somebody was like, guys, I finally saw the best way to the correct way to cut a burrito and length. Don't cut a burrito. I'm sorry. Now I'm eating all the podcast. No.

Oh, no. And you're eating the food. You said it got wetter. Yours look different than mine. Look at mine. Compare how wet Oh, no, and you're eating the food. You said it got wetter. Yours look different than mine. Look at mine and compare how wet mine is. Don't look at both of them. I don't want to look at them. I described it as dubious food. It is.

It's definitely. Yours looks more like poop. Yeah. It does. It looks like day two of a newborn. It does. Diaper. It's like you got gotta follow the colors.

Like, this is day two where it's supposed to be green. Anyway, don't... I mean, be careful if you get that. Maybe get the fries. Because then you have a little more control over the sauce and where it is and all that stuff. I would have liked to try the fries. Eric thought it would be funny for everyone. I don't really understand that joke. What do you mean? You didn't get

it. Fries are boring, baby. Put them in a burrito. You really didn't get them? No. When we do funnies, he's like, oh, go, go, go, go, go. And then he tries to do it and everyone's like, I didn't try. I succeeded, baby. Do you think maybe

she just didn't give him the fries or something? He was trying to cover. He fucked up. Or he forgot to order them. No, I would. Nuh-uh. I didn't tap on the wrong thing and didn't realize when we got here and went, hang on. We were all watching him.

So really, it's on all of us. No. I think it's mostly on Nick. It is extremely out of character to just go, I didn't get those fries. Who wants a fry I just I just didn't want to I just didn't want to

Oh that's right I forgot about the well done When were you At the end when you were adding all the sauces And you just went ham on the fucking Adding the fire. I put 15 fire sauce. Yeah, and you look at Nick and go, is that enough?

And Nick just goes, well done. It was good, though. It was enough. Well, I will say, that's because. Let me just throw my number out there. Okay, go ahead. Oh, man, I really wanted it to be better. 56.

Okay. When I asked for the 15 sauces, they didn't give me any. So we walked over to the counter. I grabbed a handful and I showed Nick and he went, yes. Well done. Why didn't they give you 15? Do you think they saw like 15 came in and they're like, that's not even that many.

Yeah. They're like, I'm not even fucking counting these. You get 15 from two tacos. Right? They will give you nine packets per taco there. Yep. When they ask me

when I go through the drive-thru, they go, how many sauces? I go, handful. And they go, okay. Because that's, guess what? That's what they give you no matter what you say. Yeah, exactly.

One? You gave me nine. Okay, so what do you think? Inchirito? Yeah, the inchirito was fine. It was just a sloppy wet mess. You could have called that one the Slopperito. You could have just called it Slopperito.

Slit on down. Man, we've talked about so much stuff. I really wanted to talk about how they talk about needs to lean into the slop. Right. Like branding. The people that eat there, they know what it is. Like I know it's slop. You pretending like it isn't, it doesn't bring in new customers, right?

Exactly. People who are like, I'm never eating at Taco Bell. It doesn't matter if your commercial is like, hey, it looks like real food. They know it's a lie. They know it's slop, and they're not going to come here. Me, the person who knows it's slop, just like Jordan was saying, just embrace it. Just lean into it. You can get more slops in.

You get those people to come more. Right. Or you might get people that maybe your Taco Bell marketing fooled them, and they think you're better than you are, so they won't come. Maybe they're a slop at heart, and they're like, I wish Taco Bell was a little lower quality for me. Yeah, a little too elevated for me. A little too transcending.

Maybe they only know about the combos, and they don't know about all the 80, 90 cent slop that they could be shoveling down their hole at 2 o'clock in the morning. Think about it. And that's what they need to lean into. However, this is not that. The Enchirito is. It's a little bit. That's fine. It's pretty sloppy. But it's also like, it's not bad, but also

you know, I'm not gonna order that. 100%. I would eat that it's like a messy just bean and cheese taco, essentially. Yeah. It's very similar. It's like it's deconstruct and cheese taco, essentially. Yeah. It's very similar. It's like it's deconstructed, but only on top. You got to eat it with a fork.

That said, way better than this other thing. Okay. Because it was so, not just dry, but I thought I was eating a protein bar. I started eating those today when I began working out. Oh, cool. And dude, you were just chewing. We both took a bite. And chewing. I was doing the like, any day now, if it could break down so I could swallow it.

You started doing that, and I immediately went, that's what I'm talking about. Like, it was so dry. And, like, here's the thing, too. They do with their nacho fries. To me, nothing they put their nacho fries in are good. It's not a good consistency. It never works. The nacho fries, when they're made right,

are delicious, and I love them. First of all, even when you order them alone, are almost never made right. They're soggy, or they're burnt, or whatever. This gets to the point where it's like they don't make their food right. Exactly. If you get them like they're supposed to be made,

they're good. That rarely ever happens enough. And then you just go and shove them inside other shit. So you have your not well-made,itty nacho fries shoved in a taco It sucks It's a double whammy of this is not made well Boy let me tell you on the flip side I had two delicious chalupas

Oh Like as I sat here eating it I was going this is fucking good That's why I paid $6 I mean I didn't And he got it for free So I gotta say like chalupa $95 I was going, this is fucking good. That's why I paid $6. I mean, I didn't. You did. Exactly. And he got it for free. So I got to say, like, Chalupa, 95.

Too bad we're not scoring it. No, I am right now. Okay. Not for the episode, but just so you know, my score is 95. Okay, we don't eat on the show. Yeah. It looked like a 95. If you got it with the gordita crunch, a little bit of taco shell inside,

I would have devoured it. That's elevation. Yep. That's elevation. That's how you elevate your voices in a digital experience. And that's also probably $8. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I'm going to give this turd a 49.

Wow. You get under a 50 from me. 52.5. Yeah. In Chirito, don't know why people would vote to bring this back. What was the other option? Yeah, what are the other options? I don't remember.

A bunch of stuff that they made up. It was a different thing that was like, oh, no. We're going to put a nacho fry in something. Make it stop. It's so weird, and it's just like, why would you? I just, that tastes like the early 90s. That tastes like old Taco Bell. It looks like it, too.

It does, right? It looks like a picture of it. Everything about it is like, this is how food used to be served. This is how fast food was served before we figured out what the fuck fast food was. Like it was, oh yeah, you can eat this with a fork and it's wet and sloppy.

And it's like, I'm in my car. And they go, oh, don't worry, eat this horse feed. And it's this fucking. Yeah. We called it the opposite of slop. Yeah. I was like, we're talking about the slop and you went, it's this fucking yeah we yeah because we said we called it the opposite of slop yeah yeah i said like i was like we're talking about the slop and you went is the opposite of slop horse feed horse yeah horse food this is what a horse would need and you're not wrong um so if you got a horse yeah it is probably a little bit better like so it's this is something

like how would you want and just chew and just chew and just chew. Oh, I forgot about the candy. Don't worry. I just slipped my mind. Here's the candy. Snack Attack. Now we get to try it.

I found, this is weird. I found out about these pretty recently and thought that they were a pretty decent jelly candy? Okay.

It's definitely better if you keep it in the fridge for a few hours, which you probably won't do. From H. Did you read that just now for the first time? Absolutely. Also, Pasta Pete is the one who had some of these. So, this is

Ore Hero. Looks like grape and apple. Nope, different thing. Grape and apple jellies. Jellies? Okay. I like jelly. One of each.

Whoa, they, like, come in. Everyone one of each. Do they have, like, little fruit pieces in it? Are these Korean? I don't know. This says I need scissors. Do you? Nick.

I mean, there's the picture of a scissor. I ripped it, and it's fine. Man, I hope Pasta Pete liked it. Okay, I'm gonna take a little pick. Oh, yeah, I know these. Oh. Okay, I'm going to take a little pick. Oh, yeah, I know these. Oh, yeah? I'm very familiar with these. They usually come in like a little plastic tub of fruit.

And then you rip the top off, and it's got a little cube of fruit in it. And then you just. Do you go with apple or grape? I'm grape. I've seen them where they're in the shape of the fruit that they're supposed to be I like it it's so artificial fruit though it's so good

this is the weirdest thing it's bizarre growing up in my town 56% Asian population mostly Korean these were everywhere I had these all the time

I only know about things similar to this now because my children, they live in the snack world these are like little snacks that are good for kids other parents have shit, you know what I mean it's small, it's in a pouch, you can rip it open they can slurp on it, this is a great

you can't spill it? it's a little thing for a kid to carry around good thing Chris got it, good thing Pasta Pete got it You can slurp on it. Like, this is a great little. You can't spill it? Yeah, it's a little thing for a kid to carry around. So that's why I've been familiar with it. Good thing Chris got it. I mean, good thing Pasta Pete got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no. I can't believe he didn't come back for more.

You are sucking to town on that. He won't stop. He sucked it out in, like, one go. He just kept working it. He was like, I want it to be one piece. He almost got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One piece.

He almost got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm going to try the apple now. I like that, like, honestly, too, they make the terrible top tinier. And it's inconvenient, and it, like, forces you to, like, fight it out. But it makes it last longer. It makes it last longer. It's so your kid doesn't gop it all down and it makes it a challenge, a fun challenge for Eric.

Or to Eric to try and fucking throw it out. I really don't like what he's doing. I love what he's doing. He's using the muscles in his face to try and get out the juice. I'll hide. I'll get a short video just for posterity. He's, like, really good at that, though. Yeah.

Well, he's trying to milk the jelly. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Oh, my phone broke. That's weird. Still going I feel like he was gonna keep going as long as I kept recording So I just looked away

But I didn't want to stop recording Well let's just let him keep going Oh did he reach the end Oh my god This is a good snack This is cool I like it Give it a 93 I'll give it an 85 This is a good snack. Yeah, it's good. This is cool. I like it. Give it a 93. Oh, wow.

I'll give it an 85. I have to see the other flavors. 89 average score. I like it. I couldn't live off an apple and a grape. Mango would be good. Mango would be awesome. Banana? Classic Minion style?

It's gonna be that, uh, that Laffy Taffy kind of artificial banana flavor. It's gonna be strong. I got it all. A winner. You showed it. Who's boss? And it's just, dude, when you get it all, it's just a, it's just like a wet pile of goo

in your throat. It's like eating something from Resident Evil. It really is. It really is. Oh, Las Plagas. Especially like when it comes when it goes out of the packet

and like hits the back of your throat and then you go, that's what I wanted. I'm not gagging. Send a snack. That's a good snack. Send our snacks

to Face Jam Care of Eric Bedour 1901 East 51st Street Austin, Texas 78723 This was actually a really new snack. This video I have is cursed. our snacks to Face Jam care of Eric Bedore 1901 East 51st Street Austin Texas 78723 this was actually a really new snack this video I have

is cursed we should not post that I'm going to send it to Eric and then I'll make the decision Face Jam Mafia tracksuits are out now

wear it when you pick up fast food and then wear it to RTX which is July 7th through 9th those pictures in the tracksuit

rtxaustin.com for all the details. Come to the Rat and Grackle. Get your track suit for RTX. Make sure you have it. Order now. Monkey League Baseball stuff. I mean, Monkey League Baseball's out.

That's hot. And then we have, we can't announce. Sorry, I'm watching. I don't need to see it. I love it. I can't go away. And then he went,

this is like watching Indiana Jones 4 where I just like, what am i watching i'm so confused oh god at face jam pod on instagram antoine on twitter stay up to date with everything spit and silly is next week you can email face jam pod at roosterteeth.com with your food conundrums uh we had a new episode of uh food court that came out this last week and the person who sent in the mix the cheese in with the spinach artichoke dip was so thrilled that we read

that and it has been days of people posting going, I'm furious about how they ruled on this. And I'm like, oh, this is good. What the fuck? Yeah. No, we're right. You're not allowed to be mad. Very exciting. We were right. Yep. So there you go. Yeah, we were right. Yep. I don't know what we said, but we were right. But we were definitely right.

I don't need to know. The ruling is final, even to ourselves. Yeah. That's the best part about Face Jam. There is no appeals. That's right. Right. We are the Supreme Court.

You lose, unless we want to. But that's not an appeal. That says we changed our mind. Jordan, you want to take us out? Sure. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this

show where we eat food and rate the food. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Oh, I'm watching the video now. This is good.

What are you talking about? And sometimes we eat the food on the show and sometimes we suck it out into our throats. Goo style.