100% Eat - Taco Bell Quesalupa

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Taco Bell Quesalupa so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about this being their first return restaurant, the Mir space station, pulling apart your food, and moreSponsored by Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam) and Upstart (http://upstart.com/facejam) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Wiggity welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You know you done do. Thanks to Honey and Upstart for making this show possible. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? Oh, I can hear you now. That intro was very loud for us. It helped carry me.

Yeah. I thought I could hear you the whole time. I thought you sounded great. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I saw you bopping. You're doing like a hand bop. I don't know what that was.

But I was into it. I was into it. It's funny how we've heard this song, what, 30 or 40 times by now, but it's still a bop. It's bopping. Yeah. That's why sometimes you have to let it play. Maybe all 30 seconds. Well, once again, we're back reviewing the newest food of the world.

Today, we are reviewing Taco Bell's quesalupa. Taco Bell. wait a minute. Dude, repeat. First ever official repeat. Eric finally ran out of restaurants that nobody's heard of. No, that's the thing. There were other restaurants that we have not been to, but it felt like the consensus was,

look, the Quesalupa is a big deal. We wanted Taco Bell to kind of be the first repeat anyway because we felt like it needed a redemption of sorts um so this it all really lined up to be like all right let's do it let's do taco bell let's let's actually make this thing happen you're right though like the the case of lupa uh the thing we're eating it has been the talk of the town yeah it's true. Everyone's talking about it. Everywhere I go, it's quesalupa, quesalupa. By which I mean, every time I load Twitch,

I get an ad for this. I was going to say, I don't know if he's joking or not, but it's actually probably a thing I've heard the most out of everything we've reviewed. They're hammering it hard. Taco Bell's one of the big ones we find a lot of weird shit at some maybe lesser known chains taco bell obviously being like i'd say the biggest taco chain at least notoriety wise probably only i would say yeah weird and um

it's like i don't know i mean i don't know that they've reinvented the wheel here but i guess it's like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know that they've reinvented the wheel here, but I guess it's a little bit more than just like, look, it's a new sauce. You know what I mean? Like it's a decent, you know, like new creation where people are like, oh, did you try that thing? As opposed to like, this pizza has double pepperoni on it. Yeah, like Golden Chick's thing was like, hey, we put Cholula on everything, right?

And we ate that, and it was fine, it was good, but it was just like, yeah, we threw a sauce on this thing. The queso lupa feels like a ground-up, like, this is totally new, this is totally different from what we do. I feel like it falls into

the, like, it's the best you could ask for at Taco Bell. Yeah. You know what I mean? Look, it's still the same five ingredients. Don't get ahead of yourself. Yeah. But, you know, somebody tried somewhere.

Yeah. I'm really excited once we get to the PR segment to see what kind of buzzwords they're using to describe this thing. Innovation is definitely going to be there. Absolutely. They're going to blow your nips off. You're going to, the way that it's written, if you're already excited about it, it's, from word, don't look because it's on the sheet, but from word one,

you're going to go, fuck. I'm excited. If it doesn't start with, forget everything you know about taco bell i'll be disappointed and then remember it because yeah because it will be necessary for this yeah context is important it is like everything you ever knew from taco bell look it's not that different it's not del Del Taco. Get out of here. This is Taco Bell, guys. Jesus Christ. So I guess, I mean, we talked about it on the last Taco Bell episode, but your past experience with this restaurant kind of barring,

unless you want to talk about how it was last time we went, if you want to give a recap on that. Oh, it was fucking disappointing. If you haven't listened, if you're one of those heathens that just says, oh, I've never listened to Face Jam, I'll start here and not at the beginning like a real fan. Then maybe you haven't heard the episode. But we were greatly disappointed with Taco Bell the first time we went there, which a restaurant that while it's kind of like an interesting area of food.

You know, Taco Bell has like this little it's this little spot of fat and cheese in our hearts. It's not the greatest, but Jordan and I talking about Taco Bell is some of the inspiration for this entire podcast. We're actually somewhat legitimate fans of Taco Bell and what they can do when they're trying their best. Their last outing was not their best. It was quite disappointing. On top of the fiasco,

that Nick wouldn't stop screaming about being able to get drinks there. And then we get there. It was like hell to get there downtown. It was a nightmare. It was slow as shit. And they didn't have alcohol anymore. I re-listened to the episode before this, which if you're listening to this,

you should pause this, go back and re-listen to that episode, and then come back now and listen to this. Was it a good episode, Eric? I don't remember anything from it. Did you like it? Did you enjoy it? I liked it a lot.

I forgot about many things that happened in that episode where I think we ordered at the counter and then at the end like i think nick told the woman gracias and she just said she looked at dead fan and went you're welcome yeah i remember that i was yeah i remember that happening it's like don't it was also don't try that i want to say there was some sort of thing with sitting at the table and nick had like 40 sauces and he said something like, oh, do you want some or should I get you some or something like that? And I was just like, are you kidding me? There are great moments. We'll have the first fact. We had to mix up the facts a

little bit. The first fact in the fact section will be a little recap of how that episode was. So you know where we're coming from. But besides that i guess in the time from last time we went to now what's your taco bell experience been is it still a restaurant that you frequent now that we've been doing the show for a while like has it changed so you're not going to it as much what what is it well i mean obviously michael's been going like like that's gonna change you can tell just by looking at me. I don't know. Muscles pretty heavy. How's that 10 and 10 going?

Well, it's going pretty well. Here's the issue. It's going too well. Oh, really? Well, it's 10 and 10, not 10 and 1. So I'm going to have to start packing some back on. I need to dig back through the trash and eat the rest of my tacos. Oh, that's smart.

Hold on. So what you're saying is as long as it's not about losing 10 pounds within 10 months, as long as you've lost 10 pounds at the end of 10 months, you hit your goal. Yeah, 10-10. You could lose 15, gain 10 back, and then lose 5. Yes, it allows me great opportunity to rubber band in any direction. What? So this is really just like a, I'm just hoping for this at the end of September. Here's the thing, right?

Here's the thing. If I say I need to lose 10 pounds in 10 months, and then I go on a strict diet, and I exercise more, and I lose 10 pounds in a month, what am I going go on like like a strict diet and i exercise more and i lose 10 pounds in a month what am i gonna do with the rest of my life right keep doing that for nine more months no then it's like well that was easy let me gain it back have some fun yeah swing by taco bell at 1 30 in the morning and then i just do it on and off and all over again and basically i can be like christian bale where i'll be like big and skinny and big and tiny and big you're just going back and forth between tall and short.

All over. I can't wait until the guy starts fucking with his height. That'll be the crazy part. Yo, did you hear Christian Bale's 5'5"? No. Yeah, he had a new role. He went through bone shortening surgery. They sawed off his shins. He's taking like

the dinklage jobs and it's just like oh no it's like that's fucked up it's like what are you doing oh damn oh no he's getting his bones elongated again he's back he's getting long boned the academy is just like the range the range is so

impressive he can do it all so that's basically what I'm trying to do I like that I think that's a good way to do it yeah you want to bounce between the machinist and vice like as much as you can in a matter of weeks yeah but again that's why he gave himself 10 months yeah it's yeah ultimately it's a lifetime you have to have a finish line you have to wait you have to have somewhere to end and that's 10 months. And whatever happens between now and the end is whatever. It's like I'm playing Candyland,

right? I don't want to just get to the end. I want to eat some candy. I want to see the sights. Like, oh, is that a cream puff? I just want to keep walking past everything. I want to go jump on some marshmallows. It'd be like, yeah, it'd be like if, you know, you rolled

whatever number you need to get to the end immediately. I rolled a 50. I win. How did that happen? Oh, well. To me, it's like 10 and 10 is definitely about the journey, not the destination. The destination is important, but how you get there

can be very interesting. Some might say it's even arbitrary. Dude, I just wanted to check in like month three, I'm up 35 pounds. It's not looking good. It's not, but you've got time. That's the thing, you've got seven months left.

Seven months. But anyway, right now, I'm looking good. Right now I'm looking good, and I maintained control today when eating the food. I mean, I was verbal about how shocked and impressed I was about how he didn't just fucking scarf everything down. It was insane. I couldn't believe it. You did scarf down the first one. No, I stopped.

You became aware. Yeah, but you became aware yeah but i became aware of see my natural instincts were taking over yeah so what we did was to say we ate the quesalupa but we we had all three meats so we did a regular beef taco we did a chicken taco and we did a steak taco and so i committed to like i'll eat half of each one and I opened the first one I blinked and it was half gone so that was when I verbally said oh no quick I need to move on to the next

one before it starts happening I'm gonna black out and then be covered in taco bell wrappers it's like Hulk Michael like came out and was like food and you were like oh no I kept him back in I need to oh no. I kept him back in. I need to become Professor Michael. I sucked him back in.

You had many moments, you were salient among yourself, many times where it wasn't just you eating half the tacos, it was also you realizing these tacos are not only filled with cheese on the inside, but there's cheese inside the shell of the taco. And you just went, oh no, uh oh, oh no, and went in your car and you were like, lactate or I'm gonna die.

Yeah, we got it though. I'm a changed man. Yeah, I'm impressed. I'm impressed. Things are different. Hey, don't worry. He'll be back. Ten months. We got nine and a half months or whatever. There's plenty of time to go crazy. Can I just ask real quick, what happens after ten months?

Oh, I don't know. You got to hold on to that ten? We'll find out when we get there. You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. Sure. You definitely got a plan.

What happens after you run the Boston Marathon? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe is there another one? Hopefully, I'll tell you what happens after you run the Boston Marathon. Hopefully, someone's not at the finish line going, what's next? Yeah. What are you doing now?

Now what? Now what? Yeah, you going to keep running or what? Keep going. Well, I just ran the marathon. Yeah, but you did running or what? Keep going! Well, I just ran the marathon. Yeah, but you did that already. Yeah, keep going. Ooh, ooh, we ran a marathon.

I'm not talking about what you did. I'm talking about what you're doing, idiot, fucking pussy. Now what? Oh, man. We should go to the Boston Marathon. I was gonna say, I wanna go to a marathon and just yell at people. Heckle them as they finish the race. No, I want to go at the halfway point or the first quarter and go,

when are you racing next? What are you doing after this? I have to leave. I'm not going to see the finish, but when's the next one? Yeah, what can I catch you on the next day? I have to go eat three quesalupas, but only half of them. I'm a hero!

Oh! It's just that with my mouth full of quesalupas, you're going to be like me! I'm ten in ten! Oh, you can never pull it off You lose too much You running too fast Yeah you probably just burn calories all the time Take it easy

Oh man Anyway so that's I think that suffices For me Yeah I haven't had Taco Bell since the last time we ate it What? Are you serious?

Why would I joke about something like this? That's wild. I can't believe that. I get that I'm so strange to you guys that I don't go to fast food restaurants in my spare time. That's why you look so sick. Yeah, there's something wrong with you.

I can visibly tell. I have gotten big into using the online app. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could have just ended that sentence at big. And what I realized, well, trust me, I was big before I got to the app. It just helped facilitate the fire sauce directly into my veins.

An IV. It started because I just, for some some reason I wanted a quesarito and for some reason it's one of those like you have to use the app, which I'm guessing is just a gimmick to like get people to use the app. Right. There's no reason they can't, you can't pull up and ask for it and they can make it, but it's just like

fuck you, use the app. So I used it one day and I realized you can customize like a million things. Specifically at Taco Bell. There's like ten different kinds of like sauces you can customize like a million things, specifically at Taco Bell. There's like 10 different kinds of like sauces you can put, not just like fire sauce, but like the cream sauce and shit. So it's like I take out the chipotle crap and I add like the creamy jalapeno sauce. Yeah. It's shit I would never do at the drive-thru.

But like if I'm going to put it all into a computer, you order it, then you just pull up and say, I ordered this. And they go, okay. And then they make it. So it's still hot. And then you already paid for it. So you don't have to deal with it. I will say I was very much in, like,

why the fuck would you ever use online ordering for fast food? And now I get it. I'm changed. I continue to evolve. You know what I mean? This is character development. Right. I might be an X-Men. I continue to evolve. You know what I mean? This is character development. Right. I might be an X-Men.

I'm just saying. Is he a mutant? Possibly. Am I a mutant? Both Taco Bell and Wendy's do the right kind of online ordering or app ordering where you order, you pay, it's all taken care of, and then you go to the drive-thru. You don't go to a stall and text a number you don't have to like go inside whatever you just go to a little drive-thru window and you go hey i have a mobile order for eric whatever and they go okay is your thing right on the screen

and you go yeah and they go okay and then you pull through and they make it right then and then they hand it to you and that's the end it fantastic. And the truest form of that is when you have access to every single topping and item that they sell. And Wendy's is also like that. You can get the pretzel bun on any sandwich if you go through the online order. Amazing. It's $1 more, but it's worth it. It's worth it. It's like a secret menu.

Right. Hey, guess what? Secret's out. Wendy's app gives you free Frosted Chino or free 10-piece nuggets or free fries. And the same thing with Taco Bell. They don't have like a reward thing there, but it's like built into the app. So I keep getting free shit just for stuffing my gullet. Yeah.

Apparently you get a Frosted Chino even if you don't want one. Yeah. Like if you explicitly didn't ask for one, they give it to you and they make you drink it. Oh, you got the what the fuck you have a free frosty token what is that well they were selling this last year it was like for two dollars jordan's trying to take it from you i don't know how you're supposed to hand this across cars well i'm just showing it oh it says frosty liver like a license plate. Yeah, it's actually Frosty liver. It was like a $2 donation,

and then you get one free Frosty anytime you go to Wendy's for all of 2021. Now, granted, they give you the junior size, which is like a thimble, but, like, dude, if you're a fat guy, it's free. It's like, fuck, throw in my jr where's my junior frosty yeah i'll also say here's a little tip just tell them you have it they'll

never ask for it or ask to see it ever so what do you say you just like i'm a frosty liver and oh i go oh i have the little like free junior frosty thing and they're like shut the fuck up i don't care they just throw it at you and then they throw it at me that's no one has ever asked to see it wow this is like how how does it cost two dollars yeah exactly it's like how crispy cream is doing the free donut if you if you've been vaccinated yeah yeah dude i saw that state what is what a sad state of affairs and you know what that'll get people oh Oh, it'll work. It'll work. Vaccinations are going to skyrocket.

My friend's girlfriend tweeted, like, finally, a reason to go get vaccinated. And I just replied, finally. Anyway, I'll be stopping at Krispy Kreme on my way home. Oh, I see. But you're too good for Taco Bell. That's fine. Here's what I want to know. Here's the real thing. Can you get it while you're

getting your donut? Get what? The vaccine. You think Krispy Kreme is going to vaccinate you? Well, they could hire a medical professional. I'm going to put the donut on my arm and be like, shoot the gap, and they just put the needle right

in the center. Well, here's what you do. Here's your target. I like it. Here's what you do. You get the vaccine medical technician or nurse or what have you on your left injecting you with the vaccine. And then on the right, somebody from Krispy Kreme injects the cream in your right arm. Oh, that's smart.

And you just absorb them both at the same time. And then you have superpowers. I'm having a reaction to the vaccine. Oh, that's smart. And you just absorb them both at the same time. And then you have superpowers. I'm having a reaction to the vaccine. No, the cream! More cream! More cream! Oh, shit. We should probably get to the facts.

Yeah. I mean, that's good because, you know. Hold on. Back by popular demand, the haiku for this one. Oh! Oh! Do we have, Jordan, do you have a haiku? I like that. Normally, this filthy little grackle is a lying POS, but he's right.

That haiku was a hit. It was. People liked it a lot. We all liked it. I generally don't compliment him, but he deserved it on that one. That's what my wife said. She's like, it's very hard for me to say Jordan did a great job, but I really liked his haiku. I believe the second half of that sentence.

That's right. Okay, this is the one for Taco Bell. The Taco Bell tolls. Quesa lupa redemption? Hope it's not horse meat. Well, Michael got very, it's like he's playing Ghost of Tsushima. Like, he's really thinking on it. Like, he's like, oh.

He's letting it, like, wash over him. I imagined a waterfall, but it was queso. Wow. Although, like, I wouldn't call what they have queso. It's nacho cheese no yeah it's some real rubber nacho cheese fountain um wow damn dude that was beautiful jordan thank you i'm just trying i'm trying to inject things that are my interests into the show your interests are haikus yeah Yeah, things like poetry. About fast food. Hey, whatever.

Whatever it takes. Oh, man. Okay. Beautiful once again. And on to the Taco Bell facts version two. Okay. First fact, more of a proclamation. This is the first repeat restaurant.

Our previous Taco Bell episode was released March 3rd, 2020, where we ate the Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries and Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries Burrito. It received an average score of 41.5. Can you believe that Taco Bell got a 41? You know what else is crazy? I know we've been doing the show over a year. It's crazy that we, it's been over a year since we went to Taco Bell. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's the thing that I'm glad that I included this because it came out. It's crazy that we, it's been over a year since we went to Taco Bell. Yes. Yeah. That's, that's the thing that I'm glad that I included this because it came out. That's like one of our last like non pandemic episodes because we went

downtown and it was right before all the quarantining and everything. March, March, the beginning of March. That's crazy. That is crazy. Um, it's also crazy.

I don't remember what the Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries and Buffalo Chicken Nacho Fries Burrito tasted like, but I definitely remember not liking it. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad tasting. It was just like, that's it? And it was so small. Yeah, there was a tiny.

I remember that. I remember we each got like two, and we looked at them, and I was like, this isn't enough food. Nope. Yeah. Underwhelming. And no alcohol. Yep.

Since the last time we reviewed them, Taco Bell removed potatoes from the menu only to put them back after everyone got mad. This goes to show that throwing a temper tantrum will always get you what you want, and my mom is a liar. If temper tantrums don't work, explain how we got the Snyder Cut. Oh! Now what? Now what, Mom? Do something about it.

I got my potatoes packed. I got my Snyder Cut. I got the whole thing. Yeah. It's true. Mom doesn't know shit. If somebody says, like, you can't complain, I'll just always point to that scene where the Joker tells Batman

who's going to give him a reach around. Yeah. And be like, this is what we got. This is the power. This is the power of fans. Then he winked at the camera. Yep. He winked at the camera, and the audience was like,

it's like he's reaching me around. Finally, that's what i wanted from the snyder cut finally just to reach around when russia brought down the mere space station from orbit taco bell put a 40 40 foot by 40 foot bullseye in the ocean the idea being if the space station hit it everyone in america would get a free taco in typical russian fashion they denied our patriots their tacos by missing uh by a measly 72 000 miles wait what that's real how come they couldn't hit the 40 foot by 40 foot sign from space fucking selfish russians well hold on hold on so it was

a thing right where like the the orbit of the of the satellite or whatever was um was just degrading right and so it just fell into the atmosphere it's not like it was a controlled thing where they were going to hit the target right it was just like if you get lucky right so taco bell put a 40 foot by 40 foot target just somewhere in the ocean and they went i fucking dare you wouldn't it be crazy do you think they do you think they did this in um like collaboration with russia was this like oh yeah like they were paying them under the table to be like, whatever you do, don't fucking hit this target. Well, here's the thing.

It was only to give everyone in the US free tacos. Damn, dude. What the fuck? So there was no incentive for Russia to try. To hit something from space that's 40 feet. That's insane that's like asking me to drop a like piece

of paper yeah on the ground and say like here in this parking lot I drop it and say it better land in Massachusetts yeah it better get there if you do everyone gets free tacos no pressure yep good promotional stunt good job taco though yeah they're good at that shit um If you do, everyone gets free tacos. No pressure. Yep.

Good promotional stunt. Good job, Taco Bell. Yeah. They're good at that shit. Taco Bell had planned to feature Billy Mays in a commercial in 2009, but he died shortly before the ad was supposed to be recorded. The rumor is Billy Mays would have made a successful ad campaign, but it would not have driven sales, so Taco Bell cut out the middleman

and did him in like they did the little dog. Jesus Christ. Remember when they killed that dog? The dog was 15 and they killed it. It was fucked up. That's why you had to listen to the last episode. That's a callback to the last time we were at Taco Bell. See?

I was giving Eric a look. That's why he started scrambling. Yep. No, he started scrambling. Yep. No, who's scrambling? So do you think it was all a cover-up, or do you think someone from Taco Bell was sitting behind him on the flight and they put their head in the air? Yeah.

As they were landing. Yeah. Everyone else on the flight is like, I don't remember it being a really bumpy landing or anything. It's weird that Billy got hurt. Yeah, they interviewed the guy sitting behind him, and they were like, no, no, he was going nuts. I remember.

He was thrashing all over the place for some reason. I told him I tried to stop him. I tried to stop him from thrashing all over. I said, stop, sir, stop. Jesus. And the final fact. In 2017, a Florida prostitute was arrested for offering an undercover cop oral sex in exchange for two soft taco. I think her only crime was not doing this at Denny's.

Wow. Two poor nights in a row with the oral sex fact. Can you believe that? Is this going to become a staple? He's a pervert. Yeah. He just happened to be Googling Taco Bell oral sex. I did.

Now, here's the thing. Oh, I could use this. Here's what I Google. I Google Taco Bell crazy facts, and then I find crazy facts. Taco Bell crazy facts. That's what I search that every time I have to build this. Taco Bell wow. And then I search.

Taco Bell Florida. This time I searched Taco Bell sex crime and that's what I found. So there you have it. Those are the facts. That's a new spinoff of Law and Order. Law and Order Taco Bell sex crime. I mean, I'm just confused. That's a new spinoff of Law & Order. Law & Order Taco Bell sex crime. I'm just confused.

What's the context here that the prostitute offered an undercover cop oral sex in exchange for tacos? So the cop was just like, oh, I don't have any money. Well, I mean, where was the cop undercover? I'm very confused. Like, was this her, like, working her beat, right? And he came in as an undercover John and she's like yo I gotta hang in for Taco Bell or is it weirder and she went to a Taco

Bell and said I'm gonna offer the blow the first person I see and there was a cop working undercover in Taco Bell what's the scenario there for this transaction to take place he was working undercover at Taco Bell? That's why I'm saying.

That'd be weird. It was part of his cover. Like, you know, he was trying to infiltrate maybe like a motorcycle gang or something. And he just got sent to go get Taco Bell. He just got sent to go get Taco Bell for everyone. Dude, have you ever watched Breaking Bad? Yeah, you don't get it. It's a fucking chicken restaurant, Eric.

Right, right. But what I'm saying is that what you're saying is that he would blow his undercover identity to go we gotta get this prostitute she wanted two soft tacos she's she's not gonna tell anyone she's not gonna go tell the bike bikey gang i mean i feel like i'm gonna tell i feel like the bikey gang would figure it out when he was on the phone going i'm a cop cop, I'm a cop, I'm a cop. I just want to say it's too tantalizing and there's not, I need more information. Okay. That's all I'm saying.

I want to know the scenario here. Next time do a better Google search. That was the ninth time she was arrested for prostitution. Now how many times involved tacos? That, I think just the one. See, that's weird. It's a change in behavior. This is odd, you know?

Because, you know, people, they're creatures of habit. Right. So I feel like, was this her first time offering it? Or was this the first time she got caught? This is definitely the first. She's done this before. To ask for that, to ask for just two soft tacos, that's a right getter. What if she was like, I'll get your taco hard for a soft taco. Do you call

your dick a taco? What's that? You call your dick a taco? Well, she does. I don't. I'm not in this situation. You're, again, you're questioning what someone calls a penis coming from the mind of someone offering blowies for a soft

taco? Anything's possible. Yeah, she's already wrong in the head. That's true. It's two soft tacos. That's a $4 value. No, that's gotta be $2.50. Probably less, actually. Yeah, that's gotta be $2.50 total. Maybe. Like, maybe two. Like,

a queso lupa is three something. You could have gotten two queso lupas. That would have been six bucks. This story is falling apart under scrutiny, to be honest. What's the scrutiny? It happened. I don't know what to tell you. Unbelievable.

I just don't trust him. I don't trust him. He's taken himself out of the story somehow. Like, he knows because he was there, but he doesn't want to say that. According to eyewitnesses. I was trying to infiltrate a motorcycle gang. Oh, I

don't know if you were undercover or you were the prostitute. Either one, I don't know. I don't eat the soft tacos at Taco Bell. That's disgusting. How dare you? Those are the facts. How dare you? We've the facts. How dare you? We've gone through them all. Jordan, have we been spitting silly?

Have we spit silly enough? I think we spat so much silly. There's a lot of silly in this one. Unless anyone has any other silly to raise. Hey, it's all over. I got to... Oh, yeah. There.

Jordan just juiced his car. Yeah, what the fuck? I got all the silly you guys spit off my windshield now. His car's all fucking wet now. Your car owes someone two soft tacos. All right. You done, Nick? He liked that a lot.

It looked even better because it was all like sudsy. Yeah. Bubbly. The quesalupa takes the chewy, flaky shell that makes the chalupa so iconic and turns up the flavor. By filling that shell with pepper jack and mozzarella cheeses. Pulling apart that shell again. It's like you and the quesalupa were never apart from each other at all. See, I suggested we do that.

I suggested like in the commercial, they have like the guy who like he pulls it apart. He breaks it in the center and pulls apart and there's all this cheesy goodness. And I wanted to do that here in the parking lot over Eric's car and he just kept saying, no, no, no. That's not true. What he said was, you can, but that's not gonna happen. It really was the idea that you would think that

cheese would actually pull apart in this fucking piece of shit. There's no way. I think we all went, that's true. And then we moved on. Why would the commercial lie to me? I don't know. And somehow there's melted cheese and fucking tomatoes all over the roof or like the hood of my car. The fuck?

Okay, I'm going to be honest. That was like all you this time. No, that wasn't me. Yeah. I didn't put that taco there. You were flinging your own tacos all over the place. You guys are ridiculous. Taco flinger.

Press, fucking press material. You okay? He's ridiculous. Taco flinger. Press, fucking press material. You okay? He's choking. Nick's choking. He's choking on your lies. I just don't know why every time I go to read something, Nick starts like having a fit. Yeah, I'm not as fucked up. All right, press material is as follows.

Look, we could have stopped there, but we all know it's what's on the inside of a shell with cheese inside that counts. I love it. At least we think that's how the saying goes. So we filled it with seasoned beef, crisp lettuce, tomatoes, and reduced fat sour cream.

Thanks for looking out for us, Taco Bell. And we thought we might as well add some real shredded cheddar cheese on top, too, just in case you thought quesalupa was done with its turning the page? Done with its supreme cheesy streak. Gross.

That sounds like what's gonna happen in the bathroom after this. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. The first thing I thought of too let this epic cheese pull reel cheese pull reel you reel you into your nearest taco bout for a limited time

at participating locations oh my god that cheese pull really fucked with you yeah I'm kidding I thought they were like it's's a, it's a real. Cheese dash pole is one word. It's let this epic cheese pole reel you in. Yeah.

I don't know what a cheese pole is. I think it's what Jordan wanted to do with the taco is split it apart and then have it like pull apart. It's what the commercial did. Even if it did work. Right. Which commercial is to show you, why the fuck would you ever do that when you're eating it?

That's the thing. was gonna do it and then if in the off chance that it did work then he would just look at it and go well there it is yeah dude and that would be the end of the taco I guess and his soul would leave his body it's like become the ghosts it's like I always

say it doesn't work until it does it's true he says that all the time I hate it and he says it Become the ghosts. It's like I always say, it doesn't work until it does. It's true. He says that all the time. I hate it, and he says it. So there you go. My favorite line of this, I want to go back, because the cheese pull thing was part of it.

It's just this weird sentence structure and word vomit, but this line that says, we all know it's what's on the inside of a shell with cheese inside that counts like how do you how do you read that right the first time i don't know but they're being clever right they're letting you know they're being so clever that's the thing they're being so clever i struggled to follow just due to lack of intelligence i'm a fucking brain-dead idiot, and I just, I, it took me a while to get what he was saying. I almost started screaming

when Jordan was talking. I didn't take the test. I didn't take the test! I didn't study! It's like every nightmare. I guess it's weird, because, like, I guess it makes sense for Taco Bell and their brand to not have the,

our team of innovators said, chief taco innovator so-and-so. But I guess it makes sense for it to be quirky like this, but it's also just so weirdly worded that, to Michael's point, the main demographic of Taco Bell, they're going to be like, what? Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you. The main demographic of Taco Bell will never see this ever. I agree. I agree.

I think outside of this podcast, nobody actually goes looking for it. That's true. I appreciate how the reduced fat sour cream really got a laugh. Hey, just so you know, it's the only sour cream they offer. You can't get regular. That's what I figured. That's tough. I'm wondering, can we start an uproar and maybe get that back on the menu,

like the potatoes and the Snyder Cut? You know what? If we're doing it, if we're at it, might as well get the Mexican pizza back, too, because people aren't happy about that either. I never really ate it, but people are upset. Would you? We are nothing if not a podcast of the people. Would you?

Absolutely. What if we could get the Mexican pizza? I'm just thinking. What if we could get the Mexican pizza? I mean, if we could, we should. Yeah. How are you planning on? How would you even do that?

Do you know what you mean? What if we could get the Mexican pizza as in like we get it and eat it ourselves or what if we could get it? Back for the people and then they'd sing our praises and lift us up on pet Yeah, that's like a row over them from now and into eternity is all saying well I was gonna say is there what is there one that you like more of those, or are they kind of like equal footing? It's the same thing. It doesn't matter to me. I just didn't know what you were suggesting. I'm not sure I care enough about the Mexican pizza

to go through the trouble for either scenario. Yeah, well, we're not going to do anything. He's going to do it. Yeah, I'm just thinking, like, what? I wonder if I could contact Taco Bell and make Bell and, like, make something happen or just. Whoa. We could bring it back. All right. We'll follow up.

We'll follow up. I wonder if there's a way. Do you think there's a way we could. I don't know. I think we could do it. We could do it. Hey, hey, we're all really smart people. Yeah.

We can figure it out. I think it's rare that Eric volunteers to do homework. So I say go for it. I don't want. I'm not. This isn't me trying to volunteer to do homework. You just said you're gonna reach out to Taco Bell.

Fuck. Wasted by my own petard. Yeah, we'll check in on you next Fortnite and see if you've kicked the can down the road. But I like the, like the Mexican pizza,

like you hit, you hit it. That's such a thing that people like, elevate, like they laud as like, dude this, I can't believe this thing's gone i love

that thing i wonder if i wonder if we could get it i'm just thinking okay no you're thinking a lot and over and over again out loud you got it you're thinking about it okay okay move on well the the next thing is getting the food and it took me too long it took so yeah you were once again this guy was upset. Half an hour. I think he just keeps showing up late. I can always tell when Eric's frustrated when he's showing up because he like speeds

through the parking lot to get to the spot. He like, his little Hyundai goes, as it speeds up. We didn't even mention, and you can tell, I got here first, which rarely happens. Then Nick got here mention, and you could tell, I got here first, which rarely happens. Then Nick got here and he pulled up alongside me. You got here.

And as we've mentioned, a lot of times, or almost every single time, we'll park in a little square. And Jordan pulled up and he goes, should we like three on one him? I don't like it. Just like stack up against him. And we're like, yeah, that'll teach him for being late. And then you were all facing Eric. Yeah. So all three of us are next to each other.

And Eric's in the middle. I'm in the middle and Eric's in front of me. Uh, and so we were all pointing at the parking space. He pulls up and rolls his window down. He's like, it's like, you're all against me.

And you're like, exactly. It's like you immediately knew. It's like three versus one. My only regret is not like angling my car towards you a little bit more. Oh, shit. So I could be even more aggressive. Then it would look like if you and Nick did that from space, we'd look like a chicken's foot.

Oh. Yeah. And if a satellite or space station landed on us, free chicken feet for all Americans. Free chicken feet for all Americans. Free chicken feet. One foot. One foot for each American. God bless us all. Let's rate the food.

Let's get into food ratings. The quesalupa. What do you think? We're doing so well on time. Too well, in fact. Yeah, we rule. You want me to try to derail it or what? Yeah, please.

What have you been thinking about lately? What have I been thinking about? Man, just like, do you think we'll ever go back to normal? What is normal, Jordan? If not this. What if we've been ushered into the new normal, as they say, and the old normal will never be normal again? Makes you think,

doesn't it? If I never have to shake someone's hand again, I won't miss it. I'm fine with that, too. More so than that, I guess, shaking hands in just thinking about it, like, yeah, you are just saying, like, look, you're probably clean, but at worst you're spreading germs. There's nothing really gained from it, you know what I mean?

There's not really a positive. But what I would totally be glad... I'm fine with it, whatever. Like, oh, hey, how are you? Shit, can I move on? I can do away with hugs. I can... Yeah.

And, okay, if you're talking about, like, specific loved ones, fine. Sure. But, like, the whole, like, you're, like, anything ever has happened, I'm gonna hug you. Yeah. I've never been a fan of that. No, I'm with you. Like, you're just, like, you see, like, some sort of acquaintance, and they has happened, I'm going to hug you. Yeah. I've never been a fan of that. No, I'm with you. Like, you're just like, you see some sort of acquaintance, and they're like, hey! It's like, I don't need to hug you.

Why are you hugging me? I don't need to get all that close to you. Right. Stop touching me. You know what I mean? You stay over there. I can see you just fine. But what if you're like a self-described hugger?

Like, that's your thing. Like, that's your personality. There are people. What are those people gonna do? Oh, I don't know, man. They're probably at a crossroads. They can be wavers now. They're thinking right now,

what the fuck do I do? What the fuck do I do? How do I get out of this? I'll start bowing. I don't know. Curtsy? That's classy. Yeah, curtsies are good. But if you have bad knees, it's hard. Yeah, it's true. I think everyone should just wave.

I think you should just wave. If you want to hug me, just wave instead. That's fine. You should come up with like a new, like a specific like meeting you, seeing you again wave. Yeah, we gotta come up with a new one. It's not just like your hand shaking back and forth. It's gotta be like... Whoa, that's a lot. What if you do like scissors? I'm gonna throw that in. You do something with your hand shaking back and forth. It's got to be like. Whoa, that's a lot. What if you do like scissors?

I'm going to throw that in. You do something with your hand, but also you stomp. Oh, that's good. You stomp while you do it. Like a horse. Yeah, like a horse. You wave and then you stomp. You stomp in like a certain rhythm, like to the sound of like, I don't know, a tune or something. Like maybe it's the Terminator theme. the sound of like, I don't know, a tune or something. Like,

like maybe, maybe, maybe it's the Terminator theme. It's like, like you stop at that. Yeah, you have to, when you wave,

you have to stop to da-da-da-da-da. And then they'll be like, oh, I've seen you before. But then, we're getting into code territory. That's true. You know what I mean?

Yeah. That sounds like, that's like, uh, espionage. Secret knock. Where you stomp, and it's That sounds like, that's like espionage. Secret knock. Where you stomp and it's like, the weather is good today, young falcon. And then it's like, then you give them the newspaper that's really got an envelope inside of it.

What about- Did we waste enough time, you think? Oh, no, okay, keep going. What about- How would you guys- He's a part of it. Yeah. He's not mad anymore.

How would you guys feel about doing doing a special face jam handshake? If we had a special face jam handshake. You would need a piece of food at all times. You think so? Yeah. He couldn't just end with you pretending to munch, and that's the last one. No.

I think I would show up if I saw you, and I would hold out a bun, and then you would have to put a piece of meat on it. Oh, wow. If you just had a piece of chicken in your pocket or something, and you were just like, crispy, and that would tell me how you're feeling that day. Wow.

So in this scenario, everyone would have to be carrying a lot of buns and a lot of different foods. Well, you would be designated either a bunner or a meter. Yeah, I think so. A bunner or a meter. Interesting. And you could say, nice to meet you. That's up to you. Say, nice to meet you, and bunner or a meter. Yeah, I think so. A bunner or a meter. Interesting. And you could say nice to meet you. That's up to you.

Say nice to meet you and then you put the meter. Yeah, or like, you know what I mean? You meet somebody else and they take out a meet and you take out a meet and you're like, ah, couple of meters. You know what I mean? You immediately like, oh, you get me. You can exchange the meat if you wanted, but there's no need if you don't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

In lieu of that, what if it's like you hold out your hand flat like it's a bun. They put their hand on top of yours like it's the meat, and then you put your other hand on top of their hand like it's the top bun. This seems like you've made a hamburger. This is more touching than a handshake. You're the one who came up with secret handshake for Face Jam. Yeah, but that's me going like. Now you're you're away and you're steering him back yeah really something anyway we should get into rating the food okay i'm satisfied with what just occurred yeah okay

that was enough time right wasting um okay so as usual the food that is presented to us from the restaurant doesn't look anything like the actual food in the commercials and the promotional material and all that stuff. That's not new. It's nonetheless disappointing, but it's not surprising, I guess. Right. It wasn't the worst case of it, but sure. It wasn't the illustrious cheese riddled ripping yeah and it didn't have you're correct it had some of that like cheese crusty like fried cheese crunch to it but like not as much as i was hoping because a lot of what i like about taco bell and my favorite taco bell

stuff is like the the combinations of textures of of chewy and crunchy and all that stuff. And you get some of that here, but, I mean, it's just not a cheesy gordita, you know? Like, if I'm going to go to Taco Bell, I'm going to get that. That's what everyone should be getting. And you can't even cheese pull real with this. Mm-hmm. Correct. Some people won't let you.

And we were talking about this before we started recording. It's just the same shit that Taco Bell has. They have a set number of things and they just come up with different ways to present it to you. And so there's not much you can really say that's different

on the inside. It's we had steak, ground beef, and chicken, and they tasted like the regular steak, ground beef, and chicken. With lettuce and tomatoes and cheese. All that same stuff. So really, and the reduced fat sour cream. Definitely. Don't forget.

I didn't even notice that it tasted different. Right. Because it's so good. They didn't even need to tell me. I would have just bought it. But yeah, it comes down to me for the wrapping of

the present. How they're presenting it. Wrapping of the present. Which is the shell and the cheese and stuff. I thought you meant how some of them were wrapped in foil and some of them were wrapped in regular paper. Don't be an idiot. You know, I hadn't considered that.

You're right. Think next time. So, like, if all the ingredients are the same, really what we're rating here is the shell and what they're doing on the outside. And it was okay. I mean, I didn't really get a lot of the cheese on the outside. The crunch was satisfactory. But it just, you know, it leaves me wanting. Like, I'll always compare it to what I like from Taco Bell.

And I still like what I like better. So, you know, it was fine. I'll give it an average score of like a 70. Okay. Okay. But it just didn't wow me, you know? Right. Was there one that you liked the best?

I mean, the ground beef is classic. That's just their, that's what they do well. And as long as it's not horse meat, it's good. Or if it is horse meat, it might also be good. Yeah, it might be great horse meat. Astute observation, as usual. Not always, but as usual from Jordan. I like the shell, but I agree.

I wish it were. It was cheesy in flavor, but it didn't have like the cheese goo. I wanted the goo. I wanted like warm cheese. Like if you get just cut down the bullshit, just fat. So, Michael, you're ordering cheesy roll ups. It's fucking cheese in a tortilla. Just fatso Michael. You're ordering cheesy roll-ups. It's fucking cheese in a tortilla and that's it. And the best part about that, there's no nutrients in that.

No. Is when you bite it, the cheese is like warm and gooey and it's soft and you get that. And that's what I wanted in the shell. And you don't really get that. It's very thick. It's a very like thick. It's not dry. It's not bad.

But I wish it were like i don't know more hollowed out like i just i just felt like again the cheese flavor was there but it was so thick of of not like the goo cheese yeah other than that it is it is literally everything else at taco bell and while i'll also agree it's no cheesy gordita crunch, and that's what Jordan's comparing it to, it was absolutely better than the last Travis feed that we ate there. I'll compare it to that and say definitely better than the fucking shit stick crap fry burrito, I think it was called.

That's what they started calling it after we reviewed it. Yeah, after our episode. It was good. I think it was called. That's what they started calling it after we reviewed it. It was good. I liked it. You know, if I was feeling bold, maybe I'd get it again. I'll blow your minds. Didn't eat it. I didn't eat it ahead of time. I ate it ahead of time.

That's a little mind-blowing. Yeah, you did. I ate it ahead of time. It was maybe like the day or two days after we discussed eating it. Eric just sent me a picture of it. I'm not surprised. It was just a picture of it, and then Michael just replied, you dog. You dog.

You dog, you. But one, I'm a changed man, and two, 10 and 10. Yeah, it's what it is. I was like, oh, wait. I got to wait. This will blow my diet out of the water. But overall, I enjoyed it. I like the steak the best, but I tend to lean towards the steak with most things I get from Taco Bell. But I'm going to give a similar score.

I feel like I like it more than Jordan did, but I thought he had a really good score for what he said about it. I was expecting it to be much lower than a 70. Yeah. I'd give it a 78. 78? Pretty good. Pretty good. Definitely improvement on what we ate last.

I'd say maybe, you know, not one of the best things we've ever eaten. Wasn't phenomenal, but I would give Taco Bell the thumbs up on the redemption. Yeah, I agree. It's a 74 is the average score. It's almost twice what they got last time. I definitely think that they are redeemed because this is more like the offerings that they do.

The fries, buffalo chicken fries or whatever that we got last time is really out of their wheelhouse. They gotta stick to what they know. Yeah, I agree. And they know this really well. They gotta stick to what they know. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And they know this really well. Like, they know this stuff. They're five ingredients. Yep. How will they

layer them next time? We'll see. Hey, maybe they put another layer of shell. We put some cheese inside our cheese. Oh. Double cheese. Cheese pull real. Alright, now on to The next segment

Snack attack Crunch I'll tell you what we're eating cause I have it Sweet plantain chips And chin chin From Ayo Femi So what did you think of

Ayo's foods Let me read this We have a little note here Femi. So what did you think of Ayo's Foods? Well, let me read this. We have a little note here. Hello, our heroes. Michael, Jordan, Eric, Nick, the sauce monkey demon. I don't know if that's the first time someone's labeled him a demon, but I'm not opposed to it. No.

My name is Ayo Femi, and as a Nigerian girl, spice has always been a part of my life. Thus, I must say, I'm a natural-born spice rat. And as a fellow spice rat, I wanted to been a part of my life. Thus, I must say, I'm a natural born spice rat. And as a fellow spice rat, I wanted to send you something spicy, but not too spicy, because I fear you may not be able to handle true Nigerian spice and sweet. Thank you for protecting us. Specifically me. Mama Lycha sweet plantain chips with chili.

Mama Lycha sweet plantain chips, comma, and Chin Chin. I love these so much, and even with the Chin Chin, I can't stop myself from coming back for more. I hope you like it. Iofemi. And then she goes on to say how her name is pronounced, which I'm sure I still got wrong. I really appreciate what you're doing. Your show

always makes my week better. Your fort week. That's a word. And makes me so happy whenever I listen to it. Keep jamming on. Thank you. Okay, so there was two kinds of plantains. There was a sweet and a spicy. Yes.

And then chin chin. Chin chin. Yes. It was all pretty good. I'm going to be honest. Yes. Yeah, I liked all of that. And like.

It definitely wasn't that spicy. The spicy. No, it was just spicy enough for little baby spice mouse me. Like, it had the sweet plantain flavor at the front, and then it kind of kicked. And even the spice was kind of sweet, like a chili lime almost. It was really good. And then the regular one, it just has that good classic plantain flavor with a little bit of sweetness. And I love plantains. I think

if you're going to chip something, chip a plantain. Yeah. You know how he's saying it all the time. He's always saying it and you're not happy about it, but he says it. Eric's always bringing me chips of other stuff and I'm like, Eric, how many times do I have to tell you? You're going to chip something.

Always chip plantains. Now get the fuck out of my sight. And then he knocks them all over the hood of your car. So what did you think of the chin chin? That was a teddy gram. That was good. I bit it. And Jordan started murmuring.

And I said, graham cracker. And he said, teddy graham at the same time. Very grahamackery. It was good. I liked it. With a little bit of cinnamon. I'm trying to get. It was good.

I'm trying to place what that flavor is. But yeah. They're all pretty dry. Nutmeg and cinnamon. But they were good dry snacks. If you're looking for a dry snack, they were all good. Yeah, the chinchin was a hair chalky at first, but then the flavor comes through and saves it.

But those were all good. I mean, I'd get that. I'd be eating those with a bottle of water. I was going to say, like, with a cup of coffee, I could slam through a thing of chinchin. I'd chinchin all over my chinchin from eating it so fast. I love the name. It's, yeah, it's, sure.

I, whatever. I wanted to distance myself from whatever you were saying, because I was like, yeah, it's great. And then you're just like chin-chin all over my chin-chin. And I was like, I got to get away from this. Yeah. I didn't get out of here. You didn't, you could tell because you didn't draw my attention.

Yeah. I had one target. Anyway, all three together, all good. I'll give it an 85. Okay. Good snacks. What do you think, Michael? I'm feeling good following that redemption.

Those are all good. Like I said, they were dry snacks. He's feeling generous. They weren't bad dry. Right. It's feeling generous. They weren't like bad dry. Right. It's not like you needed sand kicked on you. Yeah, no sand was kicked on me. But they all had

a sweetness to them that was nice. I'm going to go ahead and give it an 85.1. Oh, very nice. Average score of 85.05. Excellent. This might be the first time we've moved into the 100th place. Just what Michael wanted.

We've moved into the 100th place now, so that's great. Okay. Guys, if you want to send us snacks, you can. Right now, we're looking for spicy snacks. We might come back and do these spicy plantains again. Who knows? But you can send us spicy snacks or any other snacks you'd like to send us.

You can send it to Face Jam Care of Eric Badour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Guys, at this point, I think it's announced, but we will be live on April 1st. I believe it's around 4.30 p.m. Central. If you're listening to this episode new, that's two days from now. That is right. If it's Tuesday when you're listening, this is happening on Thursday.

On Thursday around 4.30 Central, I think that's the time that it will happen. There will be a schedule that comes out later, or I guess you'll have seen by now. We are following some kind of podcast, I think. There's a five-minute turnaround where somebody who's on the podcast gets to hurry up and do this other thing. It's some kind of gaming or something podcast. I don't... We are... Like board games? I don't know.

Never heard of it. We are live and we will be attempting to take our show to space. We will be auditioning ourselves for Space Force. We will be attempting to see if we've got the right stuff, if we've got what it takes to survive

in the harsh world of outer space. So I have a question real quick. So if this goes well and we are in fact recruited into Space Force, I assume in some sort of admiralty or whatever high ranks they have um we're gonna keep doing the show right even from space yeah how are they gonna work around our schedule do you think do you think they'll be okay with that what a foolish questions for you foolish question for you fools to ask because uh obviously they've sent pizza from Pizza Hut to space, to the space station. So when we're in space, we will be able to get the food.

Look, that's fine. Every new fast food creation will get to us. That's fine. Okay. As long as it's every two weeks, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, absolutely.

On a schedule. It takes priority. You know what I mean? It takes priority. I heard they were contracting SpaceX to do a supply run every two weeks. Shit in space happens slowly, and we do not have time for that. No. No, we're nimble.

We are go, go, go. Okay, couple of young go-getters here. Uh-huh. That's how I would describe all of us. Young go-getters, hungry. Hungry, hungry. So we will be taking the show to space in some way, and you'll have to tune in to find out exactly what that means.

In a rocket, stupid. Well. How else will we get to space? Well. Yeah. I'm trying to get a rocket. It is proving to be more expensive than the budget of $0 allows me for. So we will see what I can do.

This guy. Nick's extra giggly today. Yeah, he's having a good time. He's having a real good time. He's got the giggles. Does he have a helium tank in his car? Is there a gas leak? In his car?

It's carbon monoxide. Oh, no. Giggle, giggle. Get out. So we're doing that on April 1st. You can go to at facejam pod for more details where you'll be able to watch it'll be live streamed it'll be fun and then I'm sure

it'll be VOD later so you can watch it later at your convenience but guys if you go to store.roosterteeth.com we got some new stuff out on the store we had some new shirts drop surprise shirt drop boom for loyal jammers who follow the Twitter.

We have the dry, dry, dry. I'm a thirsty camel shirt, which is fucking awesome. It's by the same designer who made the Spice Rat. So if you have the Spice Rat shirt, you should get this because it's the same guy

who's like, you know what? I love this. It's Timothy. The jammer. Yes. Yeah. He's jamming he's drawing he's making

dry dry dry I'm a thirsty camel things and then we also have a glow in the dark shirt

to so you can be among the ghosts the other listeners of the show and fit into the demographic of the dead dude

that is that is such a fucking such a cool shirt on so many levels one i like the blue yep two it's just like a nice face jam like i think it's the only logo shirt we have that actually just says face jam yeah okay it's the only shirt that just says face jam and then for no fucking reason it's glow-in-the-dark and there's a bunch of ghosts hiding in Face Jam because we kept telling

we kept telling the graphic team like, yeah we're a ghost show now. So they mocked up some ghost merch and it's so good looking. It's such a cool shirt. These are two bangers as the

Zooms would call them. You can be walking around with your Face Jam shirt, powering it up with the sun, and then you go inside where it's dark, and then you reveal your true self, which is a loyal Face Jam listener like a ghost. Yep. Smart.

Smart. So both of those things are on sale now. There's an abundance of things in the Face Jam section of store.roosterteeth.com. I implore you to go check it out, but you can follow Face Jam on Twitter at Face Jam Pod again. You can get all the updates, check out what's new, and keep up to date with your heroes. Anything else? We have quite the collection. Yes.

It's excellent merch. Actually, it's labeled as a quite the collection. Yes. It's excellent merch. It's actually, it's labeled as a Face Jam collection. Yep. We have like 10 or more items. Yeah. And they're all fucking cool. They're all great.

We have more stuff coming too. We've been in a lot of talks with like a lot of new merch and boy, some of this new merch that's coming out is fucking cool. I can't wait

for some of this stuff to come out. I'm really, really, really excited. You will. Yep. Well, I don't, yeah, but I don't want to. That's what I'm saying. Hey, you know what? Hey, your mom said no.

Okay? Aw. Don't call her a liar. Ah! Ah! Ah! Okay. We have Snyder Cut at home.

I wish you could see the visual of what's happening. Yeah, it's great. Because it sure doesn't match our audio. All right, well, Jordan, take us on. Any other thoughts, Michael? It's up to you. No, I'm good. I'm just going to go home and just think off some more weight.

I think it's hard. You know what I mean? If you think lightweight thoughts. I sweat the weight right off. That's my workout, just thinking. I'm going to go home and I'm going to try and reread this press material and just start fucking sweating pounds. I'm just going to be like, ah!

Dude, you're going to lose like 20 pounds if you do that. You're gonna have to work your way back up. Oh, what's your secret? I read press materials that are too complicated for me. Damn, you look great. You're fucking shredded, bro. Am I dumb enough for this? Alright, rate and subscribe.

Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Thank you for listening. Don't hurt yourself thinking. Goodbye.