100% Eat - Taco Cabana Chicken Tinga & Cheese Poblano Torpedos

Episode Date: December 22, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Taco Cabana Chicken Tinga & Cheese Poblano Torpedos so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about torpedos are, coincidencias, little corns, and more. Sponsored by HelloFresh (http://hellofresh.com/facejam80 and use code facejam80) and ExpressVPN (http://expressvpn.com/facejam). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. know if you did it. You probably do. Thanks to HelloFresh and ExpressVPN for making this show possible. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my jamming co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how the funky fresh are you? The intro playing flawlessly has gotten Michael right into the spirit. Dude, this guy started honking. He was honking. He was so excited. He didn't think

it was going to happen. I'm not going to lie. I was fist pumping in the car. It threw me off because I was jamming to the intro and I kept He didn't think it was going to happen. I'm not going to lie. I was fist bumping in the car. It threw me off because I was jamming to the intro and I kept hearing meep, meep, meep. Yeah. Eric drives a car for grownups that grownups drive. And it has a very grownup horn. This horn, the horn for this 2008 Hyundai Accent is just a man with a pencil thin mustache behind you in line

at Costco going, excuse me, excuse me. If you don't mind. It's like when they were making it, it was take your child to work day. Right near the end, they said to their four year old, they're like, and what part do you want to design? And they let them design the horn.

I want to make it sound like my Fisher Price car. Yeah, this is, I bought this car in a grocery store parking lot from a Brazilian girl who had to leave the country. This is why I don't, I didn't ask questions.

It was a hell of a deal. I don't know, but she was walking. You take the money or you get the car and then you ask questions. You paid her and she just started running away. She said, your problem now? I don't know. There's no, the dashboard has like no readouts.

It's like the odometer. It tells you how fast you're going and how many RPMs, but it doesn't give you a temperature gauge. It's just a red light if it's too hot and a blue light if it's too cold. That's all you need to know. And that's it. That's called streamlined. Yeah, that's all you need to know. This is the car that you buy for your 16-year-old daughter, and it's her first car, and she goes, well, it's great.

I put oil in it sometimes, and it just goes. That's what this is. And this is like your third car, though. It is like my third or fourth car. I like that logic because at the start you say, this is the car you buy for your 16-year-old daughter and then you sell it to some man in a parking lot.

And you're the man. You're after the 16-year-old's car. I wonder if she probably thought you were buying it for your 16-year-old daughter. Yeah. Oh, boy. Anyway, we ate food today. And what we ate was the Taco Cabana Chicken Tinga and Cheese Poblano Torpedoes. Torpedoes.

I said it. Why are you looking at me? You almost grimaced at me. You were just kind of like. I was taking a drink of water. See, this is what happened. It was weird. This is what happened on snack Friday.

This is what happened on snack Friday. We don't know what happened on snack Friday. You did the intro and you made eye contact and I called it out and I got yelled at, but I just, but the same thing just happened and Jordan is nowhere to be found. He's got resting grimace face. Okay. First of all, he's nowhere to be found, which is why I never yelled at. But the same thing just happened. And Jordan is nowhere to be found. He's got resting grimace face, okay? First of all, he's nowhere to be found, which is why I never look at him. That's right. Because he's nowhere to be found.

But snack attack was more you were next to me. I'm just looking straight ahead because you're in front of me. And you took a drink, paused, and stared right at me. And it was the lack of emotion. If you were doing nothing, it would have been less obvious. Give him something to go off of. He made a point. Jordan, if you looked over and I was doing this. Oh, fuck. I fucked up.

What happened? And he goes, I was just drinking water. I was just drinking water! And then I turned into a statue. He's like one of those aliens from Signs. It's his weakness. Talk about Taco Cabana, pieces of shit.

Taco Cabana. I got nothing to say about Torpedo Cabana. That's how you said it. Dude, also, that reminds me, because, you know,

on the van episode, because I watched that, that first episode, we proofed it. Like, here's what happened. We did the van episode, which was like,

the, you know, the found footage style stuff. and at the end of it had the the trailer for like the four actual podcast episodes and in that trailer at the end you go taco cabana and i heard it so many times it's burned in my brain and then i and then i really never watched any of the actual episodes like i proofed that van and gave, like, 10,000 notes. And then the episodes came out, and I went, I don't care. It's a podcast. Who cares?

We sit and we talk. What do I need to look at this for? Like, we had, it was like a real video of that van. It's like, oh, no, no, we have other footage here. Oh, when we were walking in the street, and then, oh, remember the Whataburger when that guy tried to fight Eric? Like, a lot of things happened. And the podcast, we're like, yeah, we ate the food, and, you know, that was that. But last week was the last one.

Yeah, it's done now. It's done now, and this is the last streak. This is like episode nine in a row, and then next week hell begins again because people don't get a face jam. The darkness returns. I mean, we told them it would. We warned them, you know? It's true.

And now Black Box Down is going to creep above us again because we're halving the number of downloads. That's right. We've been inflating our numbers artificially. Now we need to find a way to pack it up again. Just get bigger. Or like the sex thing. All of it, dude.

I just feel like we should. You know what we should do? In all its forms. Economically, sexually. No, yeah. It's a great word. It's always good. You never hear the word inflation and think that's bad. You don't drown. Except economically.

Inflation, inflation. You're in the middle of the ocean. Those are the people that survived the Titanic. Inflation, inflation. And they hopped on. What we need to roll into this podcast is another word, kickbacks. We don't do enough kickbacks. That's true, we don't. That's a word I hear a lot, and

it's always the first half of kickbacks are really good. We just never get to the second half where we are killed or imprisoned. Right. Kind of like a pay- It's like a payola thing, but we haven't been payolad at all. But wait, you guys are getting kickbacks pronounced aoli you're so fucking happy with yourself for that biggest fucking smile because

because i said it i watched you and then i also thought i thought of ordering a burger and saying no payoli please no payoli i don't like mayo I would ask you guys what we know about Taco Cabana and our experience with it but we all have the same experience of Nick not shutting up about it 20 years ago you know what's a shame he's he's not here again and you know he's here in spirit he's not in

the parking lot with us so we can't stare at him watching him ape out oh yeah he was a lot of like arm shaking and head nodding and bouncing and i just imagine he's doing that at home. Nick, real quick, just yes or no, did you get the food? Yes. Of course he got the food. Interesting. Of course he got the food. He's not going to get left out. The man was left out. Yes or no, real quick, did you have to pay for it? Yes. Yeah, but you charge it back to the show. You just charge it

back to the show. No, it's fine. It's just a hassle. It's an extra step that if Eric was a kinder person, he would have just got it himself and took it to Nick's house. I feel like that's more of a hassle than in Dallas. Yeah, you're out of your fucking mind. If I had an associate producer, sure. Send the associate producer.

Oh, we got to get an intern. We got to get an intern. We're supposed to have an intern for the spring semester so they can be the Face Jam intern. What are we going to do? Well, hold on. We had an intern on like one episode last year or something before the pandemic. Well, that was the social team.

We didn't have them, right? Yeah, that was the social intern. Nick, what was her name? The botch job. Oh, oh. Who's we? What are you talking about? Did we?

I don't remember. What? Jesus Christ. Anyway, I have to hire an intern. She was a nice little student who sat it on an episode. Oh, yeah. No, no, he's right. What he's saying is real.

Yeah. And we were like, this is how it's done. Yeah, that didn't count. That was like, I forgot we ran her out of here. Yeah. And she just quietly sat in the corner and asked Nick, like, what do you do about the levels? And Nick kind of showed on the speaker. And she went, wow, you're so cool.

And he took his monkey mask off and he said, yep. Dude, he wasn't even full yet. He didn't have his mask or anything. I feel like that was a, like, I'm here for three hours, and then I'm leaving. I don't remember seeing that person again. I'm talking. I mean, can't be bothered to remember her name. We get, like, an intern for, you know, a month or two.

A dedicated Face Jam intern, yeah. Oh, my God. We can be the show that has, like, the intern on, and they they say something and then we go, get out of here. Okay. I have to, I literally have a blocked off in my calendar tomorrow where we were going to do the show where I have to go through, I don't know how many applications to hire a fucking intern.

So get someone cool, get someone who's like not there for like broadcast or radio, but like someone who's like part of like the UT drug thing that just got busted. I don't know what he's talking about. Also, the people I feel like that are part of the UT drug thing are probably 35. Yeah. By UT, I don't think they go to UT. They live near UT to sell drugs to students.

There were students in dorm rooms that got busted as part of it. Students in name only. Yeah. And Jill Biden's a doctor, okay? Okay, buddy. Yeah. Okay, they were students. Come on.

It's a little embarrassing, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's embarrassing. Drop the act. How do you do, fellow kids? I read headlines. I don't read the articles, but I read the headlines. That's right.

I read the headlines, and then I pretend like I know. They tell you everything you need to know in the headline anyway. Okay. Anyway, Taco Cabana. We don't know. Well, that was a good time filler because I don't know anything about it. I assume they sell tacos. We ate it on the van episode.

Nick loved it. Now we're here. And we had torpedoes. What the fuck's a torpedo? You'll probably tell us later. It was Hold on. Let me just say, what I mean is everything else we've eaten on the show like sandwiches,

cheeseburgers, hot dogs, I know what those are. And I know what I'm getting myself into. When Eric posts a picture of a torpedo, I just go, what am I eating? Is it a weapon? Am I going to get hurt? Let me throw my guess upon biting it. I went, oh, it's basically a jalapeno popper, but it's wrapped in a tortilla instead of bread.

It's a tamale that they deep fry. Is this a normal thing? I don't fucking eat a taco cabana. No, no, of course not. Or is this a taco cabana only thing? It's getting defensive. No, no, it's not. No, I'm defensive because you would think taco.

You think something. Answer the question, sir. I just want information. I don't know why you're acting like I'm inconveniencing you. You go to like Oaxaca and you're like, two torpedoes, por favor. And then like they just like they drag you behind a truck because like that's not food. Like torpedo, what we ate today is not traditional cuisine in the slightest. It was, that was weird.

I've never eaten anything like that. And we make tamales. You're a very long-winded answer for it's weird. For no? Yeah, for no. Listen, I joked about the Biden thing. I'm not touching that. That could be a really, like, traditionally celebrated meal.

And he's going to get a lot of heat for that. He could be talking out it dude this guy this guy read a headline and it didn't read the article he went on what i would what i would call what just happened would be a white hot rant tamales and torpedoes and i don't want to touch it okay yeah i can't wait to read the comments of like hey i grew up in chihuahua and I ate torpedoes all the time. I have never seen, like, it never crossed my mind to get tamales and then go, what if these were chimichangas? Never would. Not even chimichangas, but like a Monte Cristo version of a tamale. Yeah, it's really bizarre.

We make tamales every year for Christmas. Like, that's how we spend Christmas Eve. We make a lot of tamales. It's a great time. And then to have something that Taco Cabana calls a torpedo. He said it like it again. He always goes, Taco Cabana. It's so fucking weird.

Like, why does this place exist? Who is this for? I don't know, but let's get to the facts. Maybe that'll tell us something we need to know. Let's read some, let's read some Boston market facts. Oh, God damn it! You were sitting on that one. Dude, I triple

checked this thing when I wrote this at 11.45 last night. I didn't find anything. I didn't look at it. Because we know what the error threshold is for Eric. I checked it three times. It must be perfect. Nothing gets past me a third time.

Listen, I told you guys, listen, I saw it and I knew that it was wrong. And I said that we should fix it, but nobody fixed it. So I don't know. And it's even funnier because the error is in bold underlined print. It's like you can't miss it. It's like you knew something. Many Taco Cabana restaurants are open 24

hours. This fact was provided by the official Taco Cabana fact sheet? I found a Taco Cabana fact sheet that was a one sheet of straight facts about Taco Cabana. Is this a one for one? Did you take all of them? Nope, just the first one.

The rest I got from other sources. You scrounged. He's not looking for biased information. No, fuck no. You think Taco Cabana is going to give you the good stuff? No way. They're just going to tell you, we're open 24 hours. I don't think so, Taco Cabana.

I'll tell you, if Taco Cabana, one of their facts was like, yeah, we make this food. It's not that great. I would trust all the other people. Me too. If it said that, I would go one for one with what their facts were. None of their facts were like that. Okay.

Okay. Fair enough. Taco Cabana started because the founder needed parking for his bar and a dairy queen across the street clothed, so he bought it for extra parking. Just before leveling the building, he decided to fuck around and create a middling Tex-Mex restaurant inside the old Dairy Queen instead. This is 100% true. That is where Taco Cabana came from.

No joke. It's the founder had a bar in San Antonio called the Crystal Pistol. And he went, Whoa. Yeah. We're running out of room for this bar. The Dairy Queen closed and he's like, Fuck it. I'll just have that be my bar parking. The Dairy Queen closed, and he's like, fuck it. I'll just have that be my bar parking.

I'll level this building. And then he went, tacos. Let me ask you this. Yeah. I got it. How does a Dairy Queen close in Texas? What's going on there? That's a mystery in itself.

Crazy, right? Because they're everywhere. Yep. That's like a subway closing. It's unheard of. Yeah. If you bankrupt a Dairy Queen in Texas, you can't be trusted with it.

I assume it was some sort of money laundering scheme and they moved locations. Smart. Taco Cabana has over 160 locations across the southwestern region. Its 100th store was opened in 1994 in Denver, Colorado,

home of hot Chickaa-Latte and the guy getting his dick melted at Arby's. This location is now closed. Yeah. It's a shame. Nick was going to go there, too. Yeah, he said it. Nick got sad.

He was getting in his car right now. Yeah, I was going to put it on our big board of places to go in Colorado. Yeah. Big board of places to go in Colorado. Yeah. Big board of places. Listen, if we ever have a chance to go to Colorado, we have to go to Hot Chicka Latte. And we have to go to the Arby's where the dick got his dick. I want to see the urinal that did it. Yeah.

We put up a little, like, you know, a little memorial. Maybe. Maybe. Put up a little, like, you know, a little memorial. Maybe. Maybe. Put up a little memorial. Put some flowers up, lest we forget. Give it a flush one time. Move out of the way super fast. What's going to happen is we'll all gather, we'll give it a flush,

and then you guys will move out of the way, and you'll go, Michael, move. Michael, move. And I'll go, I'm not moving. I'm not moving. And then it'll be you trying to pull me out of there going, no, move out of the way and you'll go, Michael, move! Michael, move! And I'll go, I'm not moving! I'm not moving! And then it'll be you trying to pull me out of there going, no, get out of there! You have kids!

And you'll just be yanking me. Former San Antonio Spurs small forward Sean Elliott dressed up as a mariachi in a taco cabana and then got traded to the Pistons in 1999. He got kidney disease and needed a transplant. Coincidencia? Jesus Christ. Yes.

He's at it again. He's at it again. I know Michael liked that fact because as he read it, he kept lowering in his car until he was hiding from me completely. It was. It was. I was reading it the first time I had to stop and start the word over again. That fact was mostly for Nick.

I knew Nick would appreciate a little bit of Spurs humor. So you're trying to say this is like a comeuppance. I'm not saying that. I'm strictly suggesting maybe it's a coincidencia. I just think it might be going out on a limb thinking a guy named Sean Elliott might not be Mexican. I know. For some reason, Michael's saying coincidencia.

What? I'm just reading the fact that's written on the paper. Oh, man. Oh. And the final fact, I don't know how to pronounce this. Felix Stelling, founder of Taco Cabana, is credited with investing the bean burger. Inventing.

Inventing. Should have invested too. Inventing the bean burger, which is refried beans, diced onions, Fritos, and Cheez Whiz. People in the past were fucking stupid. Bean burger, get real. Yeah, now they're impossible burgers. That's the new one. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Think about it. What do they got? Impossible. What's the McDonald one. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Think about it. What do they got? Impossible. What's the McDonald's one coming out? What's that called? Isn't it like Green or something? No, it's Mc-something.

It's a stupid name. It's really stupid. Isn't it like McPlant? I think it's McPlant. That's what it is. It's like they're just- They think they can throw that in front of anything. Well, the thing is everybody knows it's plant-based.

Yep. But no one calls it a plant. They try and trick you. So burgers in every name. And McDonald's goes, fuck it. Plant. You want them to eat the plant? People are going to be ordering it thinking it's like a salad or something. And this brings me back to the top of our list

and to McDonald's. I went to McDonald's yesterday. Yeah, yesterday. And they have pies there. They have like seasonal pies, right? And so they had pumpkin pies for Halloween. Now they have, I think they might always be called a holiday pie, but they changed them. Right.

So I get up to the window. I get up to the window and I inquire because it does not have the flavor listed. And I say, hey, did the holiday pie change? Like what's the holiday pie change like what's what's the holiday pie and the woman goes uh yeah yeah we got like three flavors and i'm just thinking like i don't think you do because usually there's just one flavor and she goes um i don't know let me check i'll be right back and i go, okay, a couple seconds go by and she goes

comes back and says, yeah, I don't I don't know, I think it's eggnog or something, I don't know I had it, it's okay it's okay and I was like, I'll take one yeah, no kidding she was like, yeah

yeah, I like, yeah. Yeah. I like it. Yeah, you should get it. You should get it. It's okay. It wasn't bad. It's 99 cents.

You won't be out a lot if you don't like it. Yeah, I got a lot of information. It was fucking birthday cake. Oh, there you go. But I was like, eggnog? The fuck? It was clearly birthday cake and had sprinkles on it. She did not get the information. Our number one competitor, or number one rival, Rocco the Food Guy, he ate it in a video.

And I don't know what makes it holiday. It's got sprinkles or something, like a birthday cake. You think it would be... Yeah, holidays. I don't know what dessert would be... Cinnamon spiced? Yeah, I guess like don't know what dessert would be. Cinnamon spiced? Yeah, I guess like Christmas themed or like December. Yeah, it's probably like easy one.

Yeah, right? But here's the thing. I think, and I told Jordan this the other day, I think pumpkins should be for Christmas. I think that- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He did say that. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You guys were talking? Yeah, we were talking with our friend Gus. He's just a guy you maybe know. Okay. Yeah. I was talking. We were talking with our friend Gus. He's just a guy you maybe know. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I like talking about food too. Oh, okay.

Well, I have to include you on my pumpkin idea. Okay. So. Hell yeah. Yeah. So here's the thing. Yeah, man, you're in. I think that pumpkin is for Halloween and it's for Thanksgiving.

But I think just by rule of threes and the way the holidays are spread out, I think that pumpkin should be for Christmas also. It's true. And then we're done. By the time you get all the pumpkins, like, you got to, and you're used to seeing them, it's time for them to go. Like, Thanksgiving is over and you got to get rid of them. Right. But we have a whole other month that's like, could be pumpkin. I'm with you there.

And there's two factors to that. One, there's nothing to replace it, right? Which is why I agree with you. There's no strong replacement for the pumpkin. But jack-o'-lanterns ruin it. They just ruin it. It's true. It's true, yeah.

By the time Thanksgiving comes around, it's already done. If jack-o'-lanterns weren't like an aesthetic thing, and pumpkins just were left where they belong being a food, I think people would have no problem carrying it on. But they're like, nah, pumpkins, boo! You know? The fans, they love them. There's a couple ways to approach it, because I feel like as a food, pumpkin stuff is around during Christmas still.

It's around, but pie is still a staple. But it's not a feature. Yeah, it's not the main show. What about pumpkin decoration? Like just putting some pumpkins out in your yard. Are you thinking like you get pumpkins for Christmas? You do like some pumpkin decorate? Like you take like, you know how there's like white pumpkins

and you put those outside and I'll be home for Christmas playing? Yeah. I think you can do it. I don't know. Put a bow on it? Prevalent now. I think pumpkins are at the end of their time. This is where we set the trend though. You move past Halloween.

They're the main show. And then November, they get downgraded to like a bunch of vegetables and shit you see like a wicker basket there's a little pumpkin in it there's some squash and shit and it's like hey you're gonna eat all this shit

it's in a cornucopia or something and by December they're killed they shoot them all I know this comes out just before Christmas this will come out on like 22nd, I think. Damn, what a present. What a gift. So if you're listening to this,

pretend like you just opened this present and it's the episode, but tweet at us some pictures of a pumpkin that you have that you put under your tree to show that you're decorating with pumpkins this year. Do some decorative gourds. Yeah, I'm going to say two. Fun.

If you're doing any kind of Christmas dinner or whatever, throw a pumpkin pie in there. Throw a little pumpkin pie in there. Dude, pumpkin pie can't go wrong. Yeah. Make it the main star attraction. Everyone goes, wow, I can't wait to eat this Christmas goose. Is that what people have? And then they go, oh, no, the real star is this pumpkin pie.

Yeah, dude. Everyone's excited. Top your Christmas goose with a pumpkin pie. You can't go wrong. You can't go wrong. And that's spitting silly. Okay. All right.

We're on the same page here. Yep. Dude, let me say, if that's spitting silly and we're moving on, this might be the most on track we've been in months. This is a strong episode. Well, this is usually around the time that we can change that and derail it. Let's fucking hang on. Let me throw the fucking emergency brakes

on and just grind this baby to a halt. We can kill 20 or 30 minutes here with nothing, you know? Hey, is Dave editing this one? Yeah, who's editing this one? Dave's out? Alright, well, we're back to you then. I thought Dave did a really good job Yeah, I thought Dave fucking crushed it, bro

I didn't listen to it, but I think I did a good job I'm just saying, I thought it before he did it, too So I'm just saying my thought hasn't changed I'm gonna think that And then I'll listen to it And it will either be confirmed Or disproven If I listened to it, I was afraid that my opinion might change.

So I just avoided it altogether. Smart. There you go. Stop the count. That's a smart man. He's sticking to your guns. I did say, we came back around. Well, I just put ghosts, Christmas spirits.

Just something to think about. Well, that's true. Well, yeah, I had a small nod to the ghosts. The audience can't see when I point up. No. And say they're out there. It was around when i screamed boo you know i feel like here's here's the thing actually that actually that actually could also work in our favor you say actually one more time christmas is upon us

you know in the year whatever you're celebrating the holidays the year is closing. And while we do have a number of our demographic listeners, both enjoying now and in their soon-to-be afterlife, the end of the year and the holidays is also rampant with people taking their lives. Jesus. That's when it's high. That's a statistic. So I'm just saying, I hope they don't choose live. You can listen to the show live. You know what I mean? That's the thing. It I'm just saying, I hope they don't choose live. You can listen to the show live.

You know what I mean? That's the thing. It sounds the same either way. I'm taking a Michael avoiding the torpedo white hot link stance on this one. He was saying things. This is, again, a white hot take. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. His was a take.

Mine is just a fact. Mine is an uncomfortable fact, okay? People get really sad around the holidays, okay? We did hear on NPR that one time. Yeah, over and over. This guy had a fucking NPR suicide bonanza on for two and a half hours, okay? And it was even worse because it wasn't even like we were listening to it. It was turned down to like four.

So every time someone would stop talking, you'd just hear, another suicide. It was just always there being talked about. And we were like, the fuck is going on? And Jordan just goes, I just like it for background noise. Helps me sleep. You guys want to hear what I was listening to on my way over here? Was it NPR? It was, yeah, it was an astronaut talking about his time on the International Space Station, and he was describing the toilet as the scene in Empire Strikes Back with the asteroids floating around.

Whoa. Wait. Hang on. Gross. You should stop listening to NPR. I'm talking about poopoo. You got to stop. You have to stop. Listen to thisPR. Turn it off. You gotta stop. You have to stop.

Listen to this show when you're driving. Don't listen to NPR anymore. Here's what you do. Listen to this show. And only read headlines. That's all you do. That's all. Any information.

This show, headlines, and whatever you happen to hear. Yeah. Just from people that aren't talking to you. If you overhear a conversation, you run with it. Right. Repeat it to hear. Yeah. Just from people that aren't talking to you. If you overhear a conversation, you run with it. Right. Repeat it everywhere. Yeah.

I heard from this guy on the street. Uh-huh. Well, that gives you, that gives you the, that gives you the realism of go, Hey, I heard this.

And it's like, you did word on the street, word on the street. You know, you don't have, yeah. What's your source? Some guy.

Yeah. I was in line at a cvs pharmacy and a man was talking on his phone so anyway tell your friends yeah tell your friends he seemed pretty sure about it yeah he kept rambling about having to write the fact sheet but he wasn't gonna he wasn't gonna change what food we were having he's like i triple checked it it's fine he kept saying boston market boston Anyway, tell everyone you know. Was that enough time? What were we talking about?

Should we get back to the food? Yeah, I think we killed about 20 or 30 there. We're talking about how on track we were. Yeah. All right, Jordan, hit us with it. All right. The Taco Cabana Chicken Tinga Torpedo. Yeah.

That feels like I shouldn't be saying that. Yeah, go ahead. It's fried corn masa filled with chicken tinga. Yep. That's all it says. What's chicken tinga? What is it? I don't know.

Okay. Am I saying it right? Yeah. Other white people around me. We ate it. We just don't know what it is. Nick, do you know what it is? No.

How do you know he's saying it right? It's a guess. Hold on. Let me get a couple of clean alternates in there. Michael's beating on his steering wheel. He might start honking his horn here if we're not careful. I was just like, in the back, I went, oh shit, this is Taco Cabana. Nick knows what he's talking about.

He'll tell us what it is because he went, yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, Tinga's a staple of Justin. Oh, I don't know. I'm just guessing. I'm just really reassuring. Yep, let me get some clean takes for alternates real quick. Tinga. Tinga. It's definitely not that. Tinga. Tinga. It's definitely not that.

Tinga. I would say it's gotta be Tinga or Tinga, right? It's definitely Tinga, but I just wanna be careful. I don't wanna be like Eric. Alright, well, it's okay. Agreed. Agreed. Alright, and then the Taco Cabana Cheese Poblano

Torpedo says, fried corn masa filled with cheese and poblano. Doesn't get much clearer than that. Right. What's cheese? Press material. Here we go, guys. For the very first time, Taco Cabana introduces TC Torpedoes.

Fried corn masa filled with the guest's choice of chicken tinga or cheese and poblano. TC Torpedoes can be enjoyed as a two-pack for $4.99, as a plate with rice, beans, and guacamole in two tortillas for $6.99. That combo just keeps going. Or as a combo with chips, queso, and a 20-ounce drink for $7.99. What? You get what? I don't like that.

$8 for two things and a drink? It's that drink, man. That drink's expensive. And chips. That's a huge drink. And chips with queso. What did you think of their queso? The queso was fine.

Did you have any of that guacamole? No. Guacamole was weird. I don't touch the stuff. Dude, that guacamole tasted like water. It was fucking weird. It tasted like cold mush. Isn't that guacamole? It was ice weird. It tasted like cold mush. Yeah, but it was

ice cold. No, because it wasn't like an avocado flavor or a tomato or onion flavor. It tasted like water. It was fucking bizarre. It was a bunch of mush texture in your mouth. Yeah. It was the weirdest guacamole I've ever

tasted, so don't get that combo. I like the queso. I'll say. Wait, better than Torchy's? I don't know. Your favorite? We don't know. Where's this rank? Where's this rank on the top five list? Can't say. I don't know, man. It's hard to say. Can't? Or won't. Oh, interesting.

Or refuse. Here's what I'll say about the queso. That was a wild card for me. I didn't know it was coming. I went, uh-oh, and then I just started eating it. You look like you were fucking drinking it. You put it away. Well, I had to stop myself because

like, you know, okay, the little torpedoes have some cheese in it. That's not a big deal. When you hand me a cup of cheese, that's a good lunch and a bad night. Wait, did you have a pill or no? No. Oh my god.

That's what I'm saying. I didn't think about it until right now. I didn't think about it either. We need to wrap this up so we can go home. Oh, I thought about it the second I saw it. I went, here we go. He's going to be speeding down 290 trying to hold it in. Here's what I'll say about the queso, which is why I think you should go with the combo.

Because it was great for dunking these fucking tortillas in. It was. These were better with the queso dipping. 100%. I went back and did that, yeah. 100%. I had to know how it affected it. I also tried it with the salsa, and the salsa also sucks.

Yeah. I need to text your ex-girlfriend and let her know I'm sorry for the cheese. Storm's coming. Batten down the hatches. That's going to be... What if I take one now? That's way too late.

Why would you take one now? Why didn't you take one earlier if you had it? I mean, I don't know why you're looking at me, but yeah, I agree. Why didn't you? See, sometimes you have it? I mean, I don't know why you're looking at me, but yeah, I agree. Why didn't you? See? Sometimes you have to look somewhere. Well, I can't look at him.

He's rummaging through a car. While he rummages. I don't think I have any anyway. Can we talk about what you called these TC torpedoes earlier? Oh, I got them. Oh, you do have them. But you just didn't take any. Yeah, but did you see how long it took me just now to get them?

Imagine if that was when I was outside of the car. It still would have been sooner. Would have held up the whole production. It still would have been sooner. Yeah, these were TC Tuggers. He said, let's get in. Should we get into the TC Tuggers episode? Michael and I looked at each other.

Yeah, we both went, what? What did you just say? My brain's been poisoned by a man we know named Andrew, who just all weekend is asking me about TC Tuggers instead of torpedoes. I'm poisoned. I'm poisoned by it. Once you described it, I remembered. It's from the Tim Robinson sketch.

Why did you take one it's not gonna do anything now it's been like 45 minutes because i was already holding it you're uh that show's weird by the way it's a very weird show that's all the sketches that even snl said were too weird yes they are some sketches are like this is really funny and then one's like why did they make this i gotta be honest tc tuggers kind of on the middle of that spectrum it's really weird and why did they make this it's on the middle but today made it good yep it did when he said hey let's review some tc tuggers and my immediate reaction was, is that the new competition for FJ Spice Rats?

FJ Spice Rats is out. TC Tuggers is in. Unfortunately, someone else already owns that. It's a joke someone already made. I like the idea of us going, we're taking your joke now because he said it by accident. You're welcome.

You can license the technology. So we just got to get a shirt with the TC Tuggers technology. Right. And put it up in the store. I'm not going to do that. So we have to call this just torpedoes. Damn it. Yeah, he's right.

All right. Getting the food. We're back in the parking lot. I got the food. So it's a wash. Yep. I appreciate it. Nick had to go get his own food. What was

that like, Nick? It's a lot of stress and pressure to get your own food. That's why it's fine. It is. I didn't like it. Well, he took some laughing gas before he got it. I guess. That's what it was like. He was just chuckling his whole way there. Is that the Joker?

Give the microphone back to Nick. Let him go, you son of a way there is that the joker give the microphone back to Nick let him go you son of a bitch is that the joker this is what happens look at me he cut a big smile in the monkey mask no hey you get what you deserve

he writes damaged across the forehead in felt pen oh man what you deserve. He writes damaged across the forehead in felt pen. Oh, man. All right, let's review some food. What did you guys think of TC Tuggers? I thought the sketch

was okay. I completely forgot about it, but you said it now and it made me laugh because it was a funny thing and then you started describing it. Well, you started

describing it and I went, I don't know what that is and the then you started describing it. Well, you started describing it. I went, I don't know what that is. And the more you started talking, I went, oh, no, I do. I did watch that. And I got really excited because it wasn't like when you guys were talking about the food with your friend and I wasn't there. And I got really sad that I wasn't there, even though this TC Tucker's thing was first. So it's a weird conundrum. It's like I knew there was a conversation coming that I was going to get left out of,

so I was really excited in the moment that I was there for that one, if that makes sense. So I'd give that whole, I would give that conversation a rating of 95. Wow! Incredible conversation. Yeah, I was really happy. I give the sketch from the show about a 68,

but it got funnier today. Yeah, I would have never- Interesting, 68. Now it's about an 85. I would have given that sketch a 52, maybe. But yeah. But anyway, food. I guess we ate some food today.

Yeah, what did we eat? I guess. Fire away. I think we can all agree this is a weird ass thing. No, I don't say it. It could be loved possibly for generations. No, I don't

say it. No, I don't say it. Eric's window is down and I heard that not even from the speaker even that came through the glass oh yeah I'm cooking baby he's getting wet

it was freezing outside yesterday it was cold I'm wearing a comfy sweater I'm wearing pants me too and it's weird pants are weird they're fitting. Uh-oh.

Hey, I was going to say earlier, I guess before we get into the review, you are withering away. You look like a different man. There's like so little left of you at this point. Oh, thank you. I almost didn't recognize you. That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

I kept getting messages going you should have been on snack friday dude yep that new guy was crazy it's like you you look like a different person you are you're you almost too small almost you should probably eat something and i don't want you to get complacent so i'm gonna say i think you can do better still oh wow kind of two sides of a coin you know well it's not so much. You're right. And also, you're right. But I won't. And I'm okay with that.

You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying, dog? Yep. I just, you know what I can attribute it to? Just get the birthday cake pie. That's it. That's all you gotta do. That does the trick. Some kind of sickness it puts in you that makes you, like, disappear. It's like the movie Thinner thinner it's like a witch's curse oh no someone cursed the pie

someone cursed the holiday pie oh no well it wasn't pumpkin flavor so it didn't matter so it was a holiday curse so Jordan what did you think very strange they're a little owl pellet looking food things that they put cheese on.

They vaguely resemble a tamale in that you can see the corn layer, the masa layers. But it's fried, so it doesn't feel like a tamale. You take a bite into it and it's a big crunch. You don't unwrap it either. Yeah, no unwrapping involved. Eric was throwing a fit when I was, I got here before Michael and he was busting them out. And he was like, they didn't give me a fork. There's no, yeah.

How are we going to eat these? There's no, there's no fork. Ah! That was him. Was it like that? Was that accurate? Yeah. He was going crazy.

I thought I missed it. Well, it's because they gave us spoons. Why the fuck did they give us spoons? We did get a spoon. And he was very confused by that, too. I don't see why you need a fork. Exactly. But I don't know why you would get a spoon.

He was freaking out because he was like, these things are going to be messy. I need a fork. And when we started eating them, he was like, I don't know what I was thinking. No fork needed. Nope. No, no, they're fried.

They're quite neat, actually. They were, yeah. You bite into them and they stay together. Very, very dry. The poblano and cheese one, no flavor to speak of. And then I went to the chicken one, the chicken tinga tanga taga viola. That's a white hot take. That's not what taga viola. That's a white hot take. That's not what it was.

Yes, it's a white hot take. No, that was a joke for Nick. That was a joke for Nick. Well, no one's going to get it. We'll be editing it out. No, we're going to cut it and put it at the very top of the episode. Nick, can you go ahead and cut out the part where you laughed at that so it's still silent? Oh, no.

Oh, no. Well, I guess we all got one today. Can you add Eric going, harsh, man? And then, anyway, can't believe you said that. Anyway, can't believe you said that. Anyway, the chicken one is darker in color than the cheese and poblano one. Substantially. Yeah.

And the problem with that one is it's too brown. And given the shape, given its shape and its color, just say it reminded me of that scene from Empire Strikes Back. Oh, we're going back there? Man, I can't believe we're already back to this. Now, did you think in the middle of your review, I can make it back there? Or was that a setup 20 minutes ago? I just thought of it right now. Because when I first opened up the container, my brain went, this looks like poopy.

Okay. And I wanted to try to think of another way to say that. And thank God I brought up the NPR thing. Right. Right. Thank God. Yeah. Anywho, you eat with your eyes first, and that was very unappealing. But

I closed my eyes, I took a bite, and it tasted better. It had more flavor. it had a smoky chipotle sauce on it i don't think anything going on inside of it brought the flavor uh strictly the sauce doing the heavy lifting then i dumped it in the queso and it tasted amazing yeah it was so you're fucking good with that case but but, it's only because of the queso. Yep. It's like, it's a blank canvas.

You just put whatever you want on it. And, you know, the source material leaves much to be desired. So, would probably say, overall, an interesting experience. Not going to do it again. Didn't enjoy it. This is a 49. Almost a 50. Close, but not going to do it again. Didn't enjoy it. This is a 49. Almost a 50. Close, but you're not going to give up.

49 and a half. 49 and a half. Wow. Look at me. I'm doing it now. Pretty fun. You've always been alive. Two can tango.

Two can chicken tinga. Um. and tinga. Yeah, I have to agree with this assessment. And the other thing that really held me back was when given the option of tortilla, I'm a flour. I'm a flour person. I greatly prefer flour over corn. But you can't'm a flour. I'm a flour person. I greatly prefer flour over corn.

But you can't get a flour tamale. No, I mean, I'm not saying that you can't, but you should. Uh-huh. I bid it, and I said,

is this corn? I said, is this corn? And I said, is this corn? And I can't remember who said it, but you were like, yeah, there's no corn in it. And I was like, not what I meant. There is no corn in it. But that's fine. You know, I didn't hold it against them. I do think the poblano and cheese one had little corns in it, though.

Did it? I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Well, no. Well, no, it doesn't say. He'll find out a little sooner. It just says, it just says filled with chicken tinga and cheese and poblano. That's it. So if they're putting corn in there, they're lying. Okay.

They're liars. But it was, yeah, it was a little dry. Um, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. I wasn't offended by the taste. It wasn't, blech. But it was, okay, I ate this one. Sure. Yeah. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't taste either.

Oh, yeah. No, I wouldn't. Which is just as bad. I can't wait to get these and then order them. So then I tried the other one, which I think I had the chicken one second, because it was much darker. And I went, okay, that's, yeah, I didn't have the whole asteroid thing set up yet. So I didn't envision that.

It hadn't been pitched to me yet. And then I found the queso, dunked it in there, much better. Then I found chips. Chips and queso, they were the best part. They were just tortilla chips and cheese. And that's most of what I ate. And I went, I love this. If I rated that, it would have been like an 85. They were just tortilla chips and cheese, and that's most of what I ate. And I'm like, I love this. If I rated that, it would have been like an 85.

Right. Really good chips. He gave us two bags of chips, and I ate about a bag and a half. Yeah. They were the best part. They were really good chips, and the queso was pretty good. But I'm going to have to say, eh, 45. 45?

45. Wow? 45. Wow. I was surprised you gave it almost a 50. 47.25. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what they could do to bump those numbers up. It just wasn't flavorful.

I think they're too small. It's all about the gimmick. I think they're too fried. Yeah. They're so, they're like, they wrung every ounce of liquid and moisture out of it. The fact that one had chicken and one didn't, I could barely tell the difference. There was no difference.

That's huge. Yep. Yeah. I don't know why one was darker than the other either. No, me neither. Why? Because the outside was the same. So I don't.

I think it's to differentiate because it's like that tinga like sauce stuff. And it's don't know i think it's supposed to be different but it's they're just sort of like these fried nothings but if you're going to like if you're going to taco cabana what just why to begin with like i'm not gonna let i'm not gonna let nick talk you have a time machine he uh yeah Well, that brings me to this. Uh, I was in the Discord before you guys, and I was talking to Nick, and he asked me what I thought of him

when we were talking about it. And he goes, yeah, it was, uh, ambitious. And, uh... It was? Not really something that you want to think. What was the ambition? Well, I told him that's a word for it. Yeah.

And he went on to say, I'll tell you one thing. They wanted to try this 20 years ago. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Yeah, well, they didn't have to. No. They were on top of the world. They had the bean burger.

Yeah. They were just about 20 years ago. They were just about to open that store in Denver. They were ready to take over the world. Listen, it was ambitious. You take a bite into this thing and, you know, you look around and Taco Gabbana says, hey, look, the Challenger exploded too. Mm-hmm. You know, you try to put people on the moon.

Sometimes accidents happen. You know, that's, this is on the moon, sometimes accidents happen. This is their Challenger. But they didn't stop after that. They didn't stop. Right. Right. I mean, the people on the Challenger stopped. They did a couple other ones.

We had the Columbia. Oh, wait. I thought maybe the thing where, I mean, at least Elon Musk is trying to like launch rockets and none of those have gone wrong. Well, there's that one. Jack was really upset about it. Like he was really mad about it. Like who?

It's a guy that I know. He was a rocket guy. He like I don't I wouldn't call him a rocket guy. I would call him an Elon Musk guy. That's even weirder. Yeah, I agree. Do you think he's a soccer guy? Yeah, I think he's a lot of guys.

I think he's one man, but a lot of guys. Like that, see? Like that's a soccer guy. See how he's got the jersey on? Whoa, that guy's got the jersey. Is that him? Is that the guy you're talking about? No, that's not Jack.

That's a different guy. Oh, okay. He's less upset about the Elon Musk rockets. I don't. I don't. What does it keep up? Trying to see that jersey. Jordan's looking out the window.

It's a green candy cane. It was green. Dude, nice jersey. Throw the legend. We're doing a show. What the fuck? He can edit this out. He's looking at you. He's looking at you.

He's looking at you. He's trying to talk back to you, and you shut the window on him. Well, I got no more use for him. Oh. His shirt says Yeti. Do you think he means like the monster? Whoa. Who's this guy?

What's going on? What are you handing us? Snack attack. They're handing me a snack attack? What's going on? What are you handing us? Snack attack. They're handing me a snack attack? What's the snack? Oh, Henry, level up. Pretzels, caramel, peanut butter, peanuts, and chocolatey coating. Chocolate coating.

Not chocolate coating. What's the language underneath the English? There you go. French? French? Do you know what the language is underneath the English? There you go. French? French? Do you know what the language is underneath the English? Is that French? What is that?

Is this French? Because I fucking love that pretzels is just bretzels. It's spelled exactly the same way, except it's a B. They say bretzel in French? That's awesome. We should adopt that. I'm going to say brezels from now on. You can open that letter that I handed you. I love that.

They don't have the name Brett, but they do have the name Pret for some reason. I thought you were just giving me a note to look at later. Note to read for the show. Voice acting tip. Is there a second one that you want to give me? Inside the industry, when we have problems with plosives, if you change the P to a B, it sounds the same. You can say bretzel instead of pretzel. Don't challenge me.

I can make a B blow. We'll start calling it blosives. Too many Bs. Blosives. Too many Bs. That's what they are in French um no this handwriting is too good what you've handed me here

I can barely make it out okay it says hey dogs what's up kazow kazow? I'm just reading what they wrote hope y'all like these I think they're addicting as hell.

I put one in for all of you and another for Michael's ex. Is the handwriting too good? Yeah, it is. It is. It's too cursive. It's too good. It's too fancy. And another one for Michael's ex, if that's okay.

Yeah, that's okay. Thank you for all the laughs. I've been having a rough time lately, and you guys always cheer me up. I can't wait to see what kind of van Eric gets you. This is an old one, huh? Or maybe. He would be very disappointed. Or.

By what happened. Or Mara. Maybe she knows what you got us and she's just talking about the next one I can't wait to see the real one have a great well never mind have a great Thanksgiving

laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing man it's almost like we should just read the whole thing before we start jumping to conclusions. I skipped down to the bottom

because they wrote out how to pronounce their name. Mara. And I skipped right over that. Have a great Thanksgiving. Then went back to the top. Thank you very much, Mara. Thank you, Mara.

Sorry your time got worse with our awful van. Oh, there's, yeah, they were being nice, but we definitely made their lives tough. So this is an O. Henry level-up bar, and it's just a take five. It's a take five knockoff. It's just a take five. First of all, O. Henry

is old timey candy in my mind. I'm pretty sure these are from Canada. Okay, yeah. This is starting to make sense. Especially with the French written all over it. There's a little message here that says eat to increase HP plus one. That's cute.

It says going AFK might as well eat something. And then it says it again in French. Too much. They're still going? Yeah, they're trying hard. This is from Mara in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. So there you go.

Calgary. Go Flames. Pretty good. I don't know how well the pretzel works. Yeah, the pretzel is okay. I don't love it. I feel like it would be better without the bretzel. Because it's very chocolatey.

I got some chocolate dust stuck in my throat. Oh, no. You can see the clear line in the chocolate. Right. If this were British Bake Off, they would like that. You can see the very definitive line between the dark chocolate and the light chocolate. Layers. But, yeah, the bretzel just, I don't know it's just kind of unnecessarily stands out i think it would be better without it um but pretty good i give it a 70 okay yeah i like take fives better

there's more peanut butter in a take five maybe yeah there's something something is missing here i think i'm missing some caramel. Could also use marshmallow. That'd be good, too. Well, then this is going to increase my HP to plus two. Whoa, take six. Shut up. What'd you

give it? A 70? Now he's crossed the line. Yeah, right. Everything up to this point was on the line. There's no coming back 55 for me damn really slammed it huh 62.5 93 oh six what what 62.5 uh i think it's fine i did the math wrong like would you ever buy that i don't think i'd ever buy this but i do i liked it no but i would not buy almost any candy ever created dude i feel the same way like i don't think I'd ever buy this, but I liked it. No, but I would not buy almost any candy ever created. Dude, I feel the same way.

I don't buy a lot of candy. I'd buy like a... I have my top three, but it's out of five. I think I would never eat any more than that in my life. I could eat a Snickers. I could have a Twix, a Reese's Cup if I'm feeling it. When they came out with the Take 5, I also became addicted to them. And I was like going to the

store just to get them. Damn. I was also like 13, so. Oh, well there you go. I mean, that's that. So you were just going to the store to like have to be alive. You had nothing else going on. There was nothing else to do, so I went to the store and got Take 5s, yeah.

You could have just said yes. I just wanted to reiterate the question. Well, if you want to say this- But! But? If I'm in the aisle, Girl Scout cookies are also good. There's a bunch of good ones. They got marshmallow ones.

I can't remember what they're called. You're a little marshy, aren't you? Kind of like a marsh freak, huh? Marshmallow with chocolate is good to me. I like it Kind of like a marsh freak huh Marshmallow with chocolate is good to me I like it You like malamars Marshmallow with chocolate Fucking freak for that mellow bro You like moon pies

Well it's a mallow it's not mellow Marshmallow Marshmallow Yeah it's with an A Marshmallow Marshmallow Yeah you would definitely say marshmallow But it's not spelled that way

It's mallow It's mallow. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, dude. I get mellow with the mallow. Now we're talking. Is anybody else here? Nick? Yeah, I just heard a...

He's so... I'm sometimes not sure if it's real or not. Yeah. He's so light. I enjoy it. It's like, even without him here, he's like a ghost. Yep. He's more ghostly. Not being here.

Yeah. Can I just say, before Eric reads this, we fucking crushed it. Yeah, this is a good-ass episode. We crushed it. Straight up. This episode rules. Don't laugh at that part. Oh, yeah.

He put that in there for Dave. Yeah, this isn't a joke. Hey, guys. If you want to send us snacks to review, guess what? You can. You can send them to Face Jam Care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723. Do not send bugs. And don't tweet at us about bugs.

The one guy who tweets at us about bugs is not fucking funny, and I think I blocked and unblocked him because he kept tweeting at me about bugs. That's called a soft block. That's what people call it. Yeah, I've been doing that a lot. I've been doing that a lot. Soft blocking? I'm just soft. Mm-hmm.

Like a mallow? Too much mallow. Watch out. Don't poke me. You might not get your finger back. I'm sticky. You can follow us on Twitter at FaceJamPod on Twitter. Keep up to date with everything.

Guys, check this out. The merch that I just gave to you guys that I didn't get to Nick because he wasn't here today, but that's okay. True. Gave you guys the FaceJam soda cup. Gave you guys the light-up acrylic sign. Gave you guys the sauce monkey pl cup. Gave you guys the light up acrylic sign. Gave you guys the sauce monkey plush. Yeah.

We're rolling it. You did like three, didn't you? Yep. Also gave you guys Spice Rat shirts. We got them. That's what I'm talking. That's the first thing I asked about. We also got the Spice Rat mug and the Last Meal shirt.

We don't have those for some reason in this pack. We were waiting for those to get delivered later. This should be coming this week. Wow. All of that stuff is on sale right now on shop.roosterteeth.com Hang on. All that stuff is on sale now at store.roosterteeth.com

It's store.roosterteeth.com and you can go get it all now. That's really awesome stuff. Nick's got a lot of work to do in this episode. Big Dave's got it. Don't worry about it. They got some shout outs. They got some shout outs. Crazy kids.

Hope they make something of themselves. They're going places once they're out of school. Fingers crossed. Well, there you go. That's all the stuff I have to read. Imagine how much they'd get done without homework. Oh, man. That's why I dropped out of college. That's why I burned down my local college.

What? The trade school? It was something like that. There was a college, quote unquote, and I was like, no, you're not. It was like- Not anymore.'re not. Uh-huh. It was like- Not anymore. It was like a strip mall. Right.

You're not a college. Oh, there's like a cosmetology school over there by where Eric used to live. Yeah, over by the Domino's Pizza and that bar. Yeah. Yeah, the bar. Beauty school dropout. Well, there you go, guys. We did it. What an episode. I just want to say I'm

like, and the people that went there, I'm better because I have no education. I like the idea of him going like, nice college, idiot. Anyway, I'm going this way. Fuck yeah. He slammed him, bro. Way to go. That'll fucking, bro. Way to go.

That'll fucking teach him. I eat food. This candy wasn't great. We are, if nothing else, positive role models and people to look up to. There you have it. Follow your dreams if this is your dream. So rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about this show.

Tell your fellow college dropouts about this show where we eat food and rate the food. Yep. Thanks, everyone. No episode next week. No episode. Oh, it's going to be weird. Go back and listen to a favorite episode from the past. Happy holidays.

Yeah, we'll work on that stream idea we have, too. Happy holidays. No. Pumpkin that stream idea we have, too. Happy holidays. No. Pumpkin holidays. Why? Oh, okay. The house that I grew up in, someone hanged themselves on Christmas. Oh my god. They did!

That's why Michael knows so much about how you know, of an issue this is. I had the newspaper article. Do you think they listen to Face Jam now? Oh, yeah, there's nothing else to do. Can only hope it's, you know, I mean, this is back in Jersey.

I don't know if word's spread that far, but hopefully. Well, fingers crossed. Yeah, this is an Austin-only podcast. Well, I'm just saying, you know, it was like in the early 1900s, so I don't know how. I don't know how ghost aging goes on. I mean, either.

I had an old-ass house. I guess so. With a dead-ass man in it. Well, thanks for listening. We'll see you next time. Chappy holidays. Bye. Make sure you cut it before chappy holidays.

No, leave it in.