100% Eat - Taco Cabana's Birria Quesadilla

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review Taco Cabana's Birria Quesadilla so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about waiting an hour to get the food sort of, batman pizza, Nick maybe taking Michael's taco, and if you can score food you've never eaten. Face Jam LIVE in Chicago. Tickets on sale now: bit.ly/tickets-chicago Sponsored by Upstart (http://upstart.com/facejam), Honey (http://joinhoney.com/facejam), and DoorDash (download the DoorDash app + code FACEJAM). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Wowie kazowie, welcome to Face Jam, the show where you know we try every new fast food creation asterisk to let you know if you need it. You probably do. Hope you can get it. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? What was that asterisk for? Well, we'll get to that later. Today we're reviewing Taco Cabana. Birria Quesadilla.

Birria. It doesn't matter. Why did you flare it up now, but never once when you said it? He said biria a hundred times and then he went Biria. Because I'm in a car with guys that look like this and it doesn't matter. Handsome fellas? I don't understand what handsome fellas...

He's oohing over there. I don't know why he says he looks like these guys. He looks just like us. But you've seen my brother. So you know it's not just like that. That's true. He shouldn't look like this. Yeah. He has no excuse, really.

My brother's swarthy with long hair and a beard. He looks like a pirate, but a good one. Yeah. He'd fight the bad ones. You look like you got beat up by a pirate. I thought that I maybe looked like the admiral of the British side, and I go, oh, terrible. When he comes and he does his pirate stuff.

You could wear a periwig when you inevitably go completely bald. I think that would work. Yeah. So like two years? You could be a member of parliament. No, I got a couple years. I've only just started the beginning of my midlife crisis. I got 20 good years of midlife crisis. Taco Cabana!

We're back. We're back. Have we done this in a real episode? Yeah, we did Taco Cabana in an episode. We did? Oh. Let's get to that in the facts section shortly. I looked ahead. I didn't remember. I think that's the definition of forgetting. I remember. Once you told me, I knew it. We did?

I remember it now. Oh. I remember. I always remember. Those were weird. They were like deep fried tamales. We'll get to it in the facts section. This isn't the facts section. No, we'll get to it right now.

It's topsy turvy. I don't like it. It's everything's wild. It's like who knows what kind of food we're getting. Maybe someone's giving my food away. I don't even know. Eric has an intern here today, so he's trying to make it seem as professional as possible. He's flexing.

He's like, keep it on structure. We're structured. He kept saying structure only USA, and I thought that was really weird. I've been trying to explain that different shows have different levels of kind of like a producer touch where it's something like a Red Web, which is another show some friends make.

I've heard of it. That has like some structure. You sell a shirt similar to the name of that show. It's true. In the Face Jam section of the store. Is that where the I'm so little joke? Do you think that's related? The Red Web shirt and the Red Web podcast?

Somebody tweeted at Face Jam and they said, I just bought the I'm just little Face Jam hoodie, guys. Thank you so much. Excellent. Uh-oh. But that show has a lot of structure. It's written and everything. And then I went, this show's pretty— Is this written?

Yeah, it is. I'm holding words. Yeah, and look at what's happening so far. And several hours before the podcast is recorded. That's true. Today, it was a long time before the podcast was recorded. Was it? Yeah, yeah, just by virtue of how long it took for us to get the food.

Did you have a lot going on on Monday? No, no, no. I wrote it this morning. Uh-huh. But just by virtue of how long. Yeah, yeah. But earlier. Yeah, just by virtue of how long it was since when I wrote it

to when we're actually reading it because it took so goddamn long to get the food. Because we're starting an hour later than we should have. Well, two, but it's fine. You say get the food. Uh-huh.

You mean to get food. To get, to get. To get some food. To get a food. Well, it's food. To get some food. To get a food. Well, it's not a food. Right. Several foods. Are you telling me this isn't the Taco Cabana birria quesadilla?

It is that episode. By the way, Kat, our intern, really went, oh. Ask me to do it again. I can't. He spent. He's sweating. I can see the pit stains. He just went, I'm going to shoot this three from half court. He's spent He's sweating I can see the pit stains Please don't

Please don't He just went I'm gonna shoot this three from half court I'm gonna see if Oh I sank it You never saw Steve Jobs Sweating one of those No it's true

Jordan's dripping through Oh man Hang on Yeah what's up Okay we're good Oh okay good I got an alert on my smart watch Thought it might be an emergency

It wasn't Oh good But I did send out I don't know if you have a smart watch If you smash a button My smartwatch thought it might be an emergency. It wasn't. Oh, good. But I did send out, I don't know if you have a smartwatch. If you smash a bunch of buttons in a certain order, it sends out an SOS. Right? It says SOS, which I think is a little too vague. Right? I think someone now might go, what the fuck does that mean?

Which still means save our ship. So I don't understand. I think it calls 911. So I don't understand the process there. How does it call 911? But I sent it out. Well, if you have cellular. I sent it out.

I mean, does it like talk to 911? Yes. Haven't you seen the commercials? It's a fucking phone. Like it rings and you talk. It's a little robot. You're talking to it. It's a little robot voice.

If you're unconscious, the little robot voice will be like, the person wearing this watch has taken a fall. Yeah, but I always scream override. It's me in the background going, don't listen to her! Don't listen! The point I'm getting at is, I don't know if you saw earlier, I

sent out an SOS and I kept screaming my taco, my taco. He gave away my taco. Now, to be fair, I didn't give away your taco. Yeah, you did. I watched you do it. Nope. Yeah, you did. Nope. I gave it. Nope. You did. Yeah, you did. Nope. I gave Jordan the taco. I gave Kat a taco.

Right. That was it when you gave it away. Nope. Because there was a third taco, which was for Michael. However, a monkey swooped in. Well, there was four tacos. And then you're excluding yourself from it. There were only three tacos.

Why? I don't know. There were four foods. Yep. Don't know what to tell you. Here's what happened. There were only three tacos. There's a myriad of slop. You're telling me Taco Cabana screwed up. Oh, we haven't even begun to dig into them.

There was a myriad of slop slathered across this table and like hogs in a trough. We just started munching. Basically, I mean Nick. Yeah. We walked in the room and the guy was sucking down cheese. Some of the chips were

already in his mouth. In a second, dude. You know how like if you pull the tablecloth off of a table and nothing moves? He did that with the lid on the queso. It was crazy. There were only three tacos. I was eating things and all of a sudden someone was talking about a taco,

and I went, that's a more food? And he went, yeah, it's so-and-so. I went, where's mine? And it was eaten. By Nick. And Nick went, what did he say? He said, it's right here. Yeah, it's right here.

And he showed me the empty box in which he had eaten. And so I was just outraged at that point. To which Jordan said, trust me, you're not missing out. And I screamed it was the principal. Nick's getting food before me now? What is this? Well, it's okay.

This is what we were afraid of. Yeah, he edits the episode. This is what we were afraid of when we started inviting him. You know? I'll be honest. what we were afraid of when we started inviting him. You know? I'll be honest. I wasn't afraid of it. I thought this was a future I didn't, even Doctor Strange couldn't see.

This was not one of the million possibilities. This is why we shouldn't have put back the time stone. Fuck the multiverse. It got screwed up anyway. What did we avert? Nothing. I don't even know who Spider-Man is anymore I became an old man

I don't even know who Spider-Man is I mean I know Spider-Man we know Spider-Man I feel like I knew him better before it's just like hey dude I remember everything about Spider-Man and then if he takes the mask off I just scream like people trying to understand who's talking listening to this podcast

but then he puts it back on and I go, oh, Spider-Man came back. Hey, what's up? I blacked out for a second. Fuck, man. Weird. Anyway, I didn't get a taco. No, you did not get your taco. What was it?

Was it just like a taco? Well, Kat wasn't sure what kind of food it was on the inside. No, that was the taquito. Oh, there was a taquito? Mm-hmm. That was... That was in the sampler yeah okay yeah um you want to run down george what the sampler was well when you open what you think the sampler is uh-huh it's it's

a bed of lettuce yeah shredded shredded lettuce uh a compartment for rice, some refried beans and cheese, and then one enchilada? Yeah. That's it. I was like, what's the sampling? Generally a sampler is like, to be fair, I think of apps, but it's like some chicken, some cheese,

a bunch of little entrees, a little taco, a little whatever. I was like, besides the enchilada. This is one thing you can just put on the enchilada. Right. It was like getting the sides to a taco you make. Yeah.

And that was the sampler. The sampler was a deconstructed taco. And I was like, what the fuck? This is just taco parts in a box Okay Now the best part there is Okay so I ate all that Then I realized the taco was taken from me

We also got Nick also demanded That we get queso So they come in little four ounce cups So we're able to get four so we all got our own queso And so there's that and then there's the sampler And you find A little wrap of tortillas

And I just go And I just go Why did they give us just tortillas Like for what And you said well probably for the beans And as I'm thinking oh yeah Nick goes no Probably the cheese

And we all just lost it You don't think it's for the classic Bean and cheese taco You think they gave us Fucking tortilla, extra tortillas Because we might pour liquid Cheese on it That's what Nick would do

So that's how you know a normal restaurant isn't doing that, because Nick would do it. Yeah, exactly. If Nick's thinking it, it's not going to happen. What would Nick do? Do the opposite. Bean and cheese? Cheese. Queso.

Can you do it? Sure. Is it an offering from an established restaurant? I think not, sir. Is it a tried and true? I mean, here's your flour for your cup of cheese. If you suck down all those chips but you got extra cheese, don't worry. You don't have to lick

it out of the cup. You can pour it on this tortilla. This is like a chip. It's like a spoon you can eat. This chip's so flimsy. There's something wrong with these chips. So, to elaborate on that also, we didn't get the Taco

Cabana Burrito Quesadilla. I like it because it rhymes. We didn't get the Taco Cabana Burrito Quesadilla. I like it because it rhymes. We didn't get it. Why didn't we get it? They didn't have it. That's too short of a story. It wasn't that easy. We don't have it would have been

a dream. If it was that quick. This episode would be over. The things that have been ruined today are incalculable. We gather for Face Jam, right? And then we spread out and we do other silly things at part of this silly company you may not know about. All of that's been ruined today because of Taco Cabana.

So I was worried. I was worried. Eric worried never. Angry? He might be. Just give it time. He might be five minutes ago. I was worried they weren't going to have this.

Because when you go to their online ordering, it wasn't there. It's not on their website. You gave it a 50-50 ahead of time. Yeah. I messaged them on Twitter. He did everything. I did everything I could to look. I went on their online ordering.

Wasn't there. He called the restaurant. However, called Ariel. Called the restaurant. No one answered. She's not even bones anymore. She's dust.

Yeah. Then I found the press release for this. It came out on January 14th. That's not what this says. It's not what that says. So I went, definitely it must be fine. But we'll see. We get to Taco Cabana.

Taco Cabana. We got to say it right. I say it just fine. You were the one that said it that way. Nope. Never said it like that. No, you did. No, show the tape.

Didn't happen. You're going to say rewind? Yeah. Hey, do you know who this is? Whoa. No? Okay, cool. That's fine.

In case anyone's wondering. I was wondering why I was so quiet, and I didn't realize that you were all asking Kat. Yeah, I just wanted to see. Do you know who this is? And then no one said anything, and I was just looking at you, and I thought, what's happening?

Our audience probably doesn't know who this is. You're too old. That's pretty good. So we went to a parking lot where Taco Cabana is located. We pulled over because the line for the drive-thru is very, very long. And we were like, suckers, look at all these parking spots.

Somebody just walked out of the lobby of Taco Cabana. We followed them to go back in because they are a worker. Because it looked like a Sonic that you could go inside of. Yeah, you could just go right in. They're all going in. They're treating this place like a Sonic. Turns out it wasn't like a Sonic. You weren't allowed inside.

I immediately knew that we were in trouble when they did not hold the door open for me. But instead rushing to close it. She did a real, like, usually the person doesn't run into their apartment and then do it. But it was a real, you knock on the door and they open a crack and peeked out going, what do you want? She ran in to do that. And then went, the lobby's closed. You can't come inside. And I went, so we waited in the drive-thru.

Very long line. It was, I mean, the line was long. It wasn't that long. No, it should be moving. It was long. Seven or eight cars probably. It, I don't know what, I think the car in the front maybe disintegrated or the tires turned to cinder blocks. Something was holding us up.

Yes. For a long time. And again, I could not online order this food. Was not available in online order. But, but. There was a sign. There was a sign in the window. On the outside.

Yep, it said, they're here, they're here. Yep. Get them now. It's worth the wait. So I even said when we were in the parking lot, oh, they have it because here's the sign and we're fine. So we get in line and we don't move for. I think we literally didn't move a single car length for 25 minutes. I would say it's probably 20 or 25 minutes where we just sat.

Not exaggerating. Without, I mean, we pulled out of our parking spot and just sat there. We managed to complain about everything we complain about usually when we get together. Dude, usually we're back by that time. Yeah. And then we finished and I went, so we haven't moved yet. Yep. And then that's when Eric started thinking about getting mad. So we continued

to wait in this line until we finally got to the order window. And when we got to the order window... Like right before the order. It was like maybe one or two cars in front of us. But we were trapped already in the drive-thru. There was no getting out. We saw a little piece of paper taped with scotch tape over part of the menu on the Taco Cabana board.

And that part of the menu was for this quesadilla. And on the paper, we went, what's with this paper? First of all, it was a bad sign. We all panicked. Right. You don't put a piece of printer paper over a, like, stylized graphic menu that says, in stock, order now. So it was a bad sign. But then we started bargaining.

But like your missing child, you don't want to think this, Ed. You just think like, no, they could have it. They could have it. Maybe they're just, maybe it says. It was denial. Maybe it says we're making more. Wait five minutes. Yeah.

To be fair. We went through all the stages. I still haven't reached acceptance. So written in highlighter, We think it says Sorry this item is unavailable It couldn't make it any more difficult to read It's taped up on white paper The tape isn't fully across it

The wind is blowing it inward The wind has folded it like a paper airplane And they wrote it with yellow highlighter That's the only Writing device they could find Someone inside kept screaming Digital it's all digital! I only have computers!

And someone dug a yellow highlighter out of their car and fucking wrote this damn near indecipherable message that we think said sorry at the bottom. So we, uh... And then you still asked.

So I absolutely asked Do you guys have You guys have that quesadilla And she went no It was like the Whataburger Yeah No And then it was like okay so we ordered other stuff

However Do we want to get into the backup plan We were there so long We were there for an hour We were there for an hour. Dude, we were there probably close to an hour. Yes. And 20 minutes of that, maybe we knew we weren't getting the food we were there for. And that was the last 20 minutes.

We were already 15 minutes behind schedule. I had asked Kat to meet us in this parking lot because she had been to the studio before at like 1230. And it was already one by the time we got our food maybe and it wasn't even the food that we were eating.

Well, I thought it was weird because you kept saying in the car, you're like, I told Kat to meet us back at the office and you kept laughing. It's not true.

I thought that was really weird. Not true. He said, I told her we'll be back in 30 minutes. He laughed just like that. That was exactly what he did. And I kept

saying, that's rude. Yeah, that's what Michael kept saying. He kept going, tsk, tsk. I kept saying, come on, show some class. That's blasé. That's my favorite Pokemon. So we did get Taco Cabana, but it's just a bunch of other food. Do you want to get into the backup plan or do you want to get into the fact section?

Yeah, let's get into the backup plan, right? I mean, should we? I mean, that's up to you. Do you want to save it? I don't care. Yeah, we'll get back on track with Taco Cabana. Let's go with the backup plan. That's not much of a reveal.

I Had a But wait We also got to think Jordan didn't want I had a feeling That this was going to happen So we had talked about When you got a backup plan and you had a feeling 50-50 seems a bit optimistic

Maybe more so than it should have been I came in being optimistic Foolishly I said Seems a bit optimistic, maybe more so than it should have been. I came in being optimistic. Foolishly. So, I said, hey, there's another food that we can get, but we kind of had had it before. Little Caesars is back with the crazy calzoni. However, it is now shaped like a bat. Why?

As best they can. Just in time for Halloween. It's for a promotion for the Batman. And they went, here's the crazy calzoni. So I said, oh, do you guys want to do this? And we all laughed about it. And then Jordan went, no, I don't know. We shouldn't.

I called it a tiny taco situation. It's something we've already ate, but different. Right. And I said, right, but this will be good. So my backup plan was not going to ban them for this. My backup plan was that I had already ordered these two pizzas and had them ready because at any point, and I gave the, I gave everyone the option before, like when we got into,

it was too late to go back in the line for Taco Cabana. I said, here is my secret. here's the trick up my sleeve. My secret backup plan. I ordered these other pizzas. Do you guys want to do that instead? And then they went, no, we're already here. We both went, hell no. Yeah, we're already here.

We're going to get the quesadillas. So we waited an hour to not get the food. We did, to be fair, think we were getting the food at that point. If we had known. They very cleverly hid that that I'm sorry highlighted piece of paper around the corner before it was too late. Yes.

They knew. And then they were like, maybe they'll order some cups of cheese because they'll already be trapped. So then we went up the street to go get this pizza and their lobby's closed so we had to wait

in another drive-thru line. You tried that one too. God damn it. That's when Eric started to get mad Today was Eric just jiggling hand Let me in It was fucking miserable That's when Eric said he was getting mad

But had been mad for five minutes I'm about to get fucking pissed off And I think I said two words And I was like but but what about you? You go, just go. Just get in the drive-thru. Get in the drive-thru. It was that. And for a while now, we'd already been

realistically discussing how the rest of our day was screwed for what we actually had to do. And we had something that we were all going to do after this. We didn't have time for that. And then Eric goes, well, I was actually, I had something planned before that, like at 2.30. And I go, 2.30? Why'd you schedule it then?

And he just lost it. He lost it. Yeah, why'd you schedule that? Because it's two and a half hours. I said something like, we don't have time for that. Why did you schedule that at one o'clock? The podcast was scheduled at 12, which 12 is usually like, say don't have time for that. Why did you schedule that at 1 o'clock? The podcast was scheduled at 12, which 12 is usually like, say it's

12, we usually have the food in back by 12.30, 12.40. At the latest, we're back in eating by like 12.30. And it was at this point almost 1.30. It was like 1.30 when we came back. And at 1.15 I went, well 2.30,

you're never going to make 2.30. And he just goes, yeah, I didn't schedule it today. It's 2.30 right now. So we also have the Batman Little Caesars Crazy Calzone-y Batman Calzone Pizza. Yeah, Nick swooped in. This reeks of cheese and garlic. That's what it reeks of. Of Warner Brothers being like, hey, Little Caesars, Nick swooped in. This reeks of cheese and garlic. That's what it reeks of. Warner Brothers being like, hey, Little Caesars, let's team up.

And they're being like, sure, yeah. Little Caesars going, we'll team up with anyone. Hang on, wait, wait, wait. You want to team up with us? Yeah, well, Pizza Hut and Domino's already said no. Papa John's is a little racist now. Right. Batman would be fighting Papa John.

Yeah. Okay, not promoting him. So there's like Batman logo and stuff on the box. It's like in theaters you got kind of just like a generic bat symbol. Maybe that'll be Robert Pattinson's bat symbol. I don't know. But then it's just funny. In the tiniest little drawing, there's the little Caesar's guy as a shadow.

And it's funny because it's like that's the restaurant. He's like one one hundredth of the box and it's all Batman and he goes, and me. Here I am. And like he's also he's on a roof and Eric goes

he's turning on the bat signal but he's nowhere near the source of the bat signal. He's like on a roof going, whoa, Batman! He's not dressed like, I could see if they had a cape on him, they'd be like, he didn't even get that on him. He's the Batman. He's just a man stuck on the roof. He's like that guy that was walking

and trying not to fall over. Oh, we saw some people today. There were cards and characters. Like, let me tell you, if you're looking for some featured extras, we saw a number of them roaming around the streets of Austin today. We saw Pasta Pete when he is 80. There was a guy who, he was an older gentleman,

looked like he could be a jammer. He definitely, in our demographic. And he was, like, moving very quick for a person at that age and clearly like jogging. But like. But carrying something and not recreationally. Right. He kind of was like. He's like in jeans.

It's like imagine power walking, but there was a bit more of a hop to it. Right. Power walk. There's no like jump run animation. He looked like he was constantly stumbling forward and catching himself. He was power walking and hopping, but usually you don't see people, like, 85 power walking. Right. And I just looked at him, and I said, that's Chris as an old man, a.k.a. Pasta Pete, who runs everywhere for no reason.

All the time. Just, oh, are you late? No. Okay. It would be like me leaving this. I got to use the bathroom. And then running to the bathroom for no— maybe not a full sprint, but a jog. For no reason.

That was him. And we went, what the hell? And like Jordan said, he was leaned forward where it looked like. He was going head first. He was falling over and running just to stay upright. And if he ever stops, he's going to fall. He wasn't choosing to run it was just like I can't stop

but he held it down dude he kept going he never stopped and he was the second person we saw because when we got there we saw another person who was wet? we drove in right we turned in

and it was a person standing there and you went and you just went is that person wet Right and they did look Damp right and it hadn't rained And we were like uh Maybe pulled in whatever I think we were parking It's when you went in to jiggle the first handle

And then as we're like pulling in I go yeah they're definitely Wet because I watched them pour a water bottle onto their head. And I just go, well, I guess they weren't done because they didn't, they weren't holding it when we passed them. It was just like, huh, I wonder why they're wet. Hey guys, I cracked the case. Tell Batman not to come. We didn't need the world's greatest detective.

They had no socks. The little Caesar's guy solved it. They had no socks and no shoes and were just pouring a water bottle over their head and walking along. Yeah, it was interesting. So that was Taco Cabana. It's cold too. Yeah. It's not like freezing

but it's not hot out. I wouldn't want to be wet outside. It's questionable. I feel like that person may have known Jogging Man. Oh. Do you think that they're like a Batman Joker type situation where... They eat each other. Like Wet Person and Running Man are like

foes? Okay, that's not what I thought you were doing, but... Oh, they were. Foes. Oh, they were fighting. Mommy and Daddy are wrestling. This episode is unhinged. Because there's no food!

What else are we going to do? It's named the thing we didn't get, so we can't rate it. And then we also got a thing that we all decided to pass on. And so we ate it, but it was more like we ate it just to eat as humans. Yeah. It doesn't really serve a purpose. Not only was it not like, oh, it's not the episode, but you were like, there's no point in rating this. We've already had it.

And we knew that. And so now we've eaten two things and I don't know what to do with them. It's the same thing we had before, but they took food off because they cut it into the shape of a bat if we if we just recorded a video before we started recording this episode that was a highlight I'm just like how everything would be saw what would the rating be we couldn't film it yeah we just we would say I don't know where's the Riddler riddle me this what the fuck are we rating well Jordan you want to give us a hike 30 minutes in minutes in is probably as good a time. 27. Don't exaggerate. I will say,

I usually try to take a hint at what we would be talking about before the haiku. And last time, or I guess the first time we had talked with Cabana, this guy He a little freak, yeah. Going crazy about how they used to be good 20 years ago and how it's just this weird nostalgia trip for him.

So I thought we would touch on that. You got excited. You made an excited noise. Other things came up, but that context is important for the IQ. We just want you to know he's not as weird as it's going to sound. Because typically it would have been the first 20 minutes would have been making fun of Nick for liking this food. But there's almost nothing that we got. So how are we supposed to make fun of him?

You might not believe this, but there is an effort to go, okay, we've spent enough time in this. We have to get back to whatever we're doing. But I know there's nothing after the fact. We're going to run out. And so we're preloading this guy. If you skip to the end, it's just going to be over. Where's the review? Where's the review?

I don't know what we're doing. All right. Here's the haiku. Yeah. Time flows unyielding. Days gone by, tinted in rose. Used to be so good. You really did have to get all that context because, boy, it didn't have anything to do with the food.

If I had just said that, you guys would have been so confused. Oh, man. That also reminds me of you saying Days Gone By. There was a point where we were talking again, not to beat it to death, but how much this ruined our actual work schedule today outside of this. Yes. And Eric said, our days are ruined.

And I said, and you're not wrong with the plural. Like this one instance. The rest of our days. It has. It has. Butterfly effect. Yeah.

There is enough. There's a splintering effect that a year from now, I'll go, remember Taco Cabana? It just hasn't been the same since. Oh, God. Well, let's get on to some Taco Cabana facts. Yep. We might as well.

We're so... Checking my email. Checking, checking, checking, checking, checking my email. He's checking his email. Oh, okay. Trust me, it's funny. Well, I don't know about that. I'm a white guy in my 30s.

Trust me. It's more like, trust me, people used to get it. I'll give you that. If you were my age. It took a lot less to make a lot more people. Right. Jordan's going, trust me, people used to get it. I'll give you that. If you were my age. It took a lot less to make a lot more people. Right. Jordan's going, trust me, it's funny. And I'm saying, trust me, if you were our age, you would understand what it is.

Yes. I know a lot of people who thought it was funny. Not that I didn't think it was funny. I would just go, what the hell is that? Oh, man. You don't know. I like the Aquabats. Yeah, you know him.

Yeah, Aquabats Yeah you know him Yeah Aquabats Oh shit Our previous Taco Cabana Episode was released December 22 2020 Where we ate The chicken

Tingy Ting Tingle Tinga And cheese Poblano Torpedoes It received an average score of 47

That sounds better Yeah Right I don't remember anything about it Jordan They were a little weird yeah They were like I just remember we kept saying torpedoes

Yeah And that's right I kept saying what's a torpedo And you kept saying it's a tamale Yeah And I said well why are they calling it a torpedo Uh huh Probably just like

We still don't know Watch out Because people like Nick eat there, so it's like it's easier to understand like the word torpedo is like, oh, I get that. Can't fire it. Yeah, that makes sense.

He's saying, I get it. Yeah. Can't fire a torpedo. They have Taco Cabanas in places like Marble Falls, so torpedo makes way more sense than tamale. Tamale is like, what the

fuck? I'll be honest, I still What? I get the, I'm scared by the word tamale. I don't get the, oh, torpedo makes sense. I still don't get it. Well, it looks like a torpedo. It has to do with the shape. Anything could look like a fucking You don't call a hot dog a torpedo.

Anything could look like a torpedo. It's not the first thing that's shaped like that. That's the crazy part. First we did Phoebe, and now we're calling hot dogs torpedoes? We truly are. One Phoebe torpedo, please. Can I get a six-inch sub? You mean a six-inch torpedo?

I'll fucking fire it down your gullet. Do torpedoes have to be in the water? I think so. Otherwise they're missiles. Do torpedoes have to be in the water? Is that? I think so. Otherwise, they're missiles. What about ones that fire in the water and come out of the water? What's that?

A torussel. No. That sounds like something that would be at Taco Cabana. I get like nukes come out of the water, but I guess they're in the sub, right? Right. But they got to go through the water a little bit. A little bit, yeah. Do you think we're going to fire any tamales at Russia?

They don't stop this hostile aggression. Well, we'll let them get away with a lot. Yeah. Just not too much. Hey, hey, hey. We're going to let you do this. Hey, I'm going to be honest. It's going to take a lot for us to step in.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud. If you fuck around in there, but like, it's kind of shitty, but not super shitty, we probably won't do anything. Right, right, right. But you still shouldn't do it. Don't do it. I'll have you know, I'm a heightened illiterate. I'll wag my finger at you, you son of a bitch. You stupid son of a bitch. We need to get car Eric to talk to Russia.

I'm going to get fucking pissed off, Russia. Putin's just like, I don't want to see him mad if this is what he's like now. What is this word? According to. I can't help you here. Jalopnik. Jalopnik? Yeah.

I don't think you can say that. Jalopnik? Uh-huh. Go ahead. I don't think you can say that. Halopnik? Uh-huh. Go ahead. Is it like a guy named Nick that likes jalapenos? No, I think it's like a car website. Like Jalopi? I don't know. Okay. According to this website that Eric

loves. Jalopnik. Taco Cabana is one of the best drive-thru restaurants in America. According to our friend Nick, this place was better when he was six. Now, did you write that before or after I said he was six this morning? I think I wrote it after he said he was six. I was like, if you wrote it before, that's incredible that you dialed in on the six. No, but six feels like the right age.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. and get dialed in on the six. No, but six feels like the right age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taco Cabana's famous breakfast menu includes seven, that's right, seven different varieties of breakfast tacos, all with only two ingredients and none truly satisfying when you're on a set at 9.30 in the morning and they've become cold.

That's true. Isn't that? Hey, there's breakfast tacos if you want them. Oh, that's cool. Oh, when they get here. Three hours ago? Well, they got here two hours before crew. Right.

Your cast call, so you got here at least an hour later. Oh, you're on time? We're actually running behind, believe it or not. So you can just hang out in the green room, have some cold tacos. We should be ready to roll by 10. Hey, it's almost 11. We're about ready to go. Did you have some of the tacos, though?

If you want to come in, we can start striking. We can get the lights set up. All right, okay, you can head back to the green room. Oh, we got to swap a battery. Anyway, I'm having a taco. Glad you got me here and ready to go. I will have you know that when I wrote that fact This morning and then read it to my wife

She's like are people going to get that And I said It doesn't matter that one's for Michael to pile on I think I piled I think I piled Also I think it's really sweet that you Read the facts to your wife

Who do you think probably writes most of them? Well, she helps me punch up. Don't even. You know what's a funny age? Six. You guys are talking about set tacos. Don't even get me onto the cat food that we're going to have for nighttime lunch. Who wants empanadas?

Two. Only. Back of the line. Didn't I fucking see you up here with it? You ate a fucking chicken empanada. Get the fuck out of here. See? Pile on.

That's all we needed. I gotta stop myself. Happy hour every day from 4 to 7 p.m. features a domestic beer and personal bean and cheese nachos for $3, which is the saddest meal you'll ever see your recently divorced dad eating, sitting in his F-150 while listening to Sister Christian by Night Ranger when you're back in your hometown for Christmas, but it's just easier doing

Christmas at Mom's house this year. He really liked it. He liked it a lot. He remembers that when he was six. It's just, in my head, it's so vivid to picture a guy with a goatee. Uh-huh. $3. Sitting in his F-150 going,

Times are tough. Motoring. And, like, taking a bite, but also drinking a Budweiser in the car. You can get beer to go now. He wouldn't let us get margaritas. Everyone kept screaming margaritas. It's like there's not enough time. In the clear, maybe 20 minutes before Eric said he was going to get mad,

but he was already very angry. After he ordered, I kept talking over him, which was annoying. While he was ordering, I kept talking like a child. Just going, get me this! Like, while he's talking. Because also, Jordan pulled up and made him order from the back seat. But pulled up too far! He just straight up drove past the speaker and went, oh.

And then had to go backwards. And then made Eric order from the back seat, which is my favorite thing. And then right after you got finished. I kept screaming Marg's For mango bars first. It was like would you like a drink with the sampler and we all said no Marge you rolled the window up, and then Jordan rolled it back down. Fucking insane. That's when he started thinking about getting mad.

Check me out. Okay. I shouldn't have brought that thing. You know what? I'm starting to get it. He has a funny voice. I'm starting to get it. And finally, if this episode

took the turn I think it did, what turn did you think it was going to be? The man who created Where's the Beef, a line popularized by a small grandma woman in the 80s, also created the famous tagline Pizza Pizza, even voicing it himself?

So that's the turn I assumed this episode would take. Well, I little sees the thing is, I don't know how much it was a turn. Did you predict the whole way you absolutely not engineered design? He knew they wouldn't have the thing. He called ahead and they said,

we don't have them. And he said, perfect. I'm going to go anyway and role play. Yeah. I'm going to be the hero weird because we did the whole thing. It was super normal, but he also amongst that he kept saying, I'm a wizard. And I thought to be the hero. It's weird because we did the whole thing. It was super normal, but he also, amongst that, he kept saying, I'm a wizard.

And I thought that was really weird. He kept saying, he kept trying to pay in gold. Gold coins. Jordan was gracious enough to take the card from me to hand to the person to pay. The window doesn't roll down all the way. And then said, I'm fine. I'll help a little bit. I'll help a little.

Thanks, man. Appreciate it. I held the pizza. Eric did at 1030 slack me an address. Uh-huh. Oh, this is right. Totally out of context. He just slacks me an address, what turns out to be the Little Caesars.

Uh-huh. But it's just the address and I wait like a minute to see if there's a follow up. And so I say, hello. And he replies, hello. And then I wait a couple more minutes. Am I supposed to do something with this address? Hang on to it

until it's time to activate sleeper cell status. What's funny is, I'll be honest, if you sent me an address with no message, I would just go there. Yeah. I would just say, I gotta go. Where are you going? I don't know! You don't ignore something like this.

He could be in trouble. They have him. They have him. Oh my God. Drive up to the Little Caesars. Go, what are you? You got Eric in there? Time is of the essence.

Every second. Don't say you have to wait 24 hours to report a missing person. Every time someone goes missing and they go to the police, they say, got to wait 24 hours. And then that's bad. Every time someone goes missing and they go, I'm going anyway and they don't wait, the police say you gotta wait 24 hours. It's so goddamn annoying every time. I go, get on the same page here!

You're telling people go away? You're telling people, pretty suspicious that they didn't come in right away. Allegedly, they heard you have to wait 24 hours. Yeah, they probably listened to Dateline and you keep saying it over and over again. Sorry, we can't help you. Come back tomorrow. Why didn't you come yesterday? Eric sends me an address. I'm going.

So I activated Jordan's sleeper cell status. But not really because then you just told him in person. Let's go get the pizza. Because I was hoping that my plan was to say pizza pizza and Jordan would know to activate sleepers. My eyes were going to roll in the back of my head.

I was going to almost crash and then be like, I know what to do. When it was drive-thru only at Taco Cabana, I thought you guys were going to go, fuck this. Let's just go get let's do this other thing. Let's do the pizza. That's why I told you the plan. We stomped on that. We thought we were still getting the quesadillas.

It's funny too because Eric was like, do you want to know the thing now or save it? And my thought is always save it yeah I was just like save it and you were like nah it's pizza but it was also like well I'm telling you because we have to go get it I'm telling you because I want you to

ditch this fucking taco place so we can go get it we got the best of both worlds yeah the best we got everything yeah and we get to talk about it now if I'm correct, I was looking kind of in between the two of you, so my peripheral's barely in focus.

Was Nick doing this? Yes, that's absolutely right. Now he's doing two thumbs up. It was kind of like... Tusken Raider. Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. A Tusken Raider. Now he's doing the noise. He sounded like a seal. And now he's doing the noise. Now he's doing the noise, but he sounded like a seal.

And now he's bouncing a ball on his nose. Now he's Boba Fett's friend. Oh, man. Yeah. Boba Fett, put your helmet back on. Yeah, no kidding. I haven't even watched the series, and I know the number one complaint is, this guy's walking around with his helmet on.

There's something new every week with these people. Put your fucking helmet back on, Boba Fett. We know what you look like, but that doesn't mean we want to see it. We know you're the guy that played Jango Fett. Good for you. You were Moana's dad. Fucking perfect teeth. Disney's Moana.

But come on now, put your helmet back on, Boba. We want to see the bounty hunter guy, not just this bald guy. Not the guy from the prequel, The Thing We Hated. Right. Yeah. Jordan, you want to teach us about the food? Yeah. Are you ready to learn? So here's the We Hated. Right. Yeah. Jordan, you want to teach us about the food? I loved it. Yeah. I'm ready to learn. So here's the food we didn't eat.

Yeah. Taco Cabana's Burrilla Quesadilla. You were right. You did it much worse that time. Told you. You're right. Quesadilla features seasoned shredded beef. You can only imagine. Melted Monterey Jack cheese. That sounds good.

And pico de gallo between two warm flour tortillas, perfect for dipping in the accompanied traditional warm burrito broth. That's a tongue twister. Boy, that sounds delicious. Yeah, it would have been great, probably. Based on the other food we ate, probably not. I bet it wouldn't. Probably not.

This is a real grass is greener on the other side mindset happening here. When we all know it would not have been good. I think the complaint would have been these are too small. I think that would have been the thing we were crowing about the whole time. I saw on the advertisement on the window, they had a big one and a little one. Yeah, they had a large. I was going to get five larges. Oh, the advertisement on the window before the drive-thru where they didn't tell you it was out of stock?

Yes. But that's what I think, too, by the way, they have it. They were just like sold out is what it sounded like. Like she said something like there's none left. Yeah, they're gone.

That's what I think she said. They're gone. I'm glad she didn't explain all the supply chain issues afterward. I mean, I kind of would have liked it at that point when we waited so long.

I mean, it was like one o'clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday. How is it gone? It's probably been gone for days. That sign's been up there. Take the fucking sign down. Yep. Hey, Jordan, why don't you read some questions?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Available starting December 15th. Uh-huh. Not January whatever. Correct. What? 2021. And arriving.

It's a whole different year. Arriving just in time for the winter season. Taco Cabana. Guests can enjoy the new burrito quesadilla served with warm burrito broth. I'm so tired of saying this word. And returning favorite, tortilla soup. All at Taco Cabana, Texas locations.

Yep. How very American of you. Tortilla soup? Yep. Do they still have that? Were they out of that? How come we didn't get that? We didn't get it. You know what? We didn't get it. He's right.

How come we didn't get that? We didn't get it. Just in time for the holidays. And then look at the date at the top. Well, that's the date of the article. Exactly. That's the date that they posted their press release for this food. So the press release says December 15th

but the article of the press release is January something. And then there's another date in the article that says it's from December 8th. What the fuck? Get it together.

This truly is a mystery worthy of the Riddler. Did somebody pour water on these people? I didn't realize the tie-in between Taco Cabana Riddler and Little Sisters Batman. Well, they're the Batman and Taco Cabana is the Riddler. DC's like, we're building

a fucking DCU somewhere. I don't care if it's in fast food restaurants. These two restaurants, three miles away from each other, they're coming up with their own schemes. Okay, now it's time to review the food. What did you like or not like? Compare it to past restaurants

and score one to a hundred. The best part was probably the queso. I didn't like that. I do agree with that. What? I didn't like that. I didn't get it. Okay.

Yeah. Probably the worst part of it. I think that's fair. Yeah didn't get it. Agreed. Yeah. Probably the worst part of it. I think that's fair. Yeah. Sounded good. Yeah. I don't think it sounded that good at all. I think it sounded like another taco.

I would have tried that broth. Yeah, the broth is- I would hope you would have tried it. Well, the broth is a selling point. That's all we do here is try the food. Biddy is for dipping. I would have tried the broth. It sounded so good, I would have eaten it. I wouldn't have let Nick give mine away. I would have tried the broth. It sounded so good, I would have eaten it.

I wouldn't have let Nick give mine away. I would have stopped him and tried it. I would have eaten it willingly. My favorite thing is Jordan getting excited, or what excited can be for Jordan about food that might be good. Because it's like, the average of him thinking he might like the food

is better than the average of him liking the food. Because these ingredients sound good from if it was a good restaurant. Right. But even then, it's still not great. I would still say he's not excited 70% of the time, 60% of the time, somewhere in there, 65, right?

No, most of the time I'm not looking forward to eating anything. 35% of the time he goes, wow, this actually sounds good. But then of that 35, then it's still like 90% he doesn't like it. Yeah, because it turns out it's a fast food restaurant. Right, sure, sure. I'm just saying in the episode that didn't happen, imagine I did have the time stone. I can see the world where you go.

Was this the one outcome? Where you go, I actually wanted to try that. And then you're going, I didn't like it. I can see it. It's like it already happened, even though it didn't. We don't even need to make the episode for me to hear him say it. I can take an educated guess based on the sampler, but I would give this a 25

based on food we ate I give this thing I didn't eat it also also the little caesar's pizza factors into that score um the little caesar's pizza was little caesar's pizza it's fine I I can't say any more about the Little Caesars pizza

since we've ever eaten it on this podcast. It gets the job done. Whatever score it got last time is the score. It gets the job done. That saves us for a snack attack. We don't have to do this for a snack attack now. It's just whatever score we gave the last calzone. He's saying that I'm not.

Whatever they're doing, it's good, cheap pizza. It's not great, but's not great but it's good And it's cheap It's still better than like CC's And like the this is barely pizza shit I think these were like 8 bucks each The cheese sauce is weird And you get a cool box too

Well you get a box With a bat on it Look how happy the little Caesar guy is You see how excited he is about the strong bad thing. So that actually makes sense. He's like, I'm taking this doll and this box home. My life rules. I think best was the queso.

Yeah. And then second was the pizza. Yeah. This was fine, but it was like school lunch. It was so sassy So how do you feel about getting the least food Because you didn't even get a taco That's true

I feel outraged I feel It's good It was an attempt for Nick to overthrow me I think so He's trying to consolidate I feel like if Face Jam were to have shares We're like

We're not all 25 obviously but whatever the math may be we're all like we're all like 30 and he's got 10 right right and he was trying to fucking hiding he was trying to he was trying to fucking take my 30 cut me out and then lord over the two of you that's what i feel like this is the beginning of you gotta stamp out the rebellion before it starts. It's like Kendall teaming up with fucking Sandy trying to push us, Logan, out of the company.

What happened to Sandy? I feel like I missed something and he was fine and then he wasn't. Offscreen had some sort of stroke. That didn't make sense to me I'll be honest in the context of the show. But then they replaced him with his daughter who's also named Sandy. Right Right So she is now The Sandy character

That at least makes sense Because they specified That that was weird Okay That said I rate this N.A. Okay It's a good rating

Safe Can't be rated Yep I didn't eat it Unrateable Literally unrateable And I can't rate the replacement Because if we hadn't

Come together unanimously And vetoed it Which we did If it was, get it on the fly, I would have rated it. But we had the discussion. What are we going to eat and rate? And you brought this pizza to the table. And I went pizza, pizza. And Jordan said. He's going to get activated.

Don't drive back. You can't go inside. Don't try. But Eric may have loosened it a little bit. I was pulling really hard. So then we went there anyway, and they got to give it all an N.A. The queso was good. The pizza was fine.

The taco was eh. My water was good. I had one and a half cups. That's good. That's a good amount of water for the salty, salty food. That's my first ever non-rating. If the TGI Fridays. I rate it N.R.

No rating. If the TGI Fridays had an rate it NR. No rating. If the TGI Fridays had an asterisk for me, this one has the little cross. That's good. The obelisk. Put the cross on it. Smart. I will say there's no more TGI Fridays in Austin. No way! That one closed? Oh my god.

Can you believe it? You say that because you don't care, but the truth is, that means we're just going to have to drive further. We're going to San Antonio. A 90-minute fucking drive to eat Fridays. When was the last time you went to Georgetown for TGI Fridays? We're going to have to get a hotel room. Yeah.

Oh, man. This is where the van would come in handy. Well, beep, beep. We gave it away to the Ranger. This was crazy. This was a in handy. Well, beep, beep. We gave it away to the Ranger. This was crazy. This was a crazy one. Yeah, it was a weird one. But surprisingly...

It's a unique one. Surprisingly, like, stuck to script. Yeah. Yeah, very structured. I told you so. You wrote it out very well. So structured. So, if you want to send us snacks, you can.

You can send them to FaceJamCareofEricBadour1901. He's for 51st Street in the Take 2. Here we go. Take two. Take three. Three, two, one. Hey, you can send us snacks if you want to. You can send them to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedour, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723.

We'll eat them on the show. This snack was pizza, but NR. Hey, here's some business to get down to. Yeah, business. Do it, business man. We are doing a live show. We're all very excited. Right, here's some business to get down to. Yeah, business. Do it, business man. We are doing a live show. We're all very excited. Right, Michael?

No, I'm worse than the last time. No, no. He's ready to get even more. I have the, oh my God, it's in two weeks. And if you're hearing this, it's like in a few days. Yes. Right? Oh, no.

No, no. Well, yeah, no, it would be the week after. Next weekend, if you're a true jammer listening to this on release, which you better be. You better be. It's the 11th, right? Yep. Friday, the 11th of 2022. Yes. Okay. Yes.

It's one week away. He's got the time stone. It's a week and a half and 53 and a half weeks. Closer than you'd think. Think about it. You blink and you're there. So we will be doing our live show in Chicago at Talia Hall

on February 11th at 8 p.m. Tickets are on sale at rtxevent.com or you can check out the link in the description. Get your ticket now. More tickets.

You can buy more than one. Yeah, you can get more than one ticket. If you are thinking, I want to go to this, but... Michael doesn't seem excited. I don't know if anyone is going to go with me. I don't know if I have friends who want to go to this, but... Michael doesn't seem excited. I don't know if anyone is going to go with me.

I don't know if I have friends who want to go to this thing. Know that everyone who is going to this is also a fan of Face Jam. And you can just go, hey, what was your favorite episode? And that immediately starts a conversation. Yeah. So you can just do that. And seeing that they're a fan of Face Jam, there's an 80% chance they won't talk to you. Yeah, well...

Because we breed that kind of environment of like, did you just talk to me? Well, I think that we breed the... Where's that voice coming from? We breed the environment of don't talk to us. Feel free to talk to each other. You also, when somebody talks to you,

you don't have to look down at your shoes and mumble half a sentence. However, Michael is right. You can do that. Here's a free conversation starter. Let's do it. Okay, yeah, yeah, let's do it. Hey, are you a Michael or a Jordan?

Oh, that's a good one. Here's a good reply. I'm more of an Eric. Wow. I was going to say chemistry right there. I was going to say more of a sauce monkey. No, no, no, no, no. Then, from the distance, ooh, ooh, ee, ee.

You got three best friends right there. Wow. Three best friends right there. You're making friends. Do that. If you go to the show. I just make friends for you. Don't do it to us, though.

No, again. I'll throw you out. Not me physically. We've been very clear. I'll have you removed. Don't talk to us. Yeah. 100%.

Talk to each other. Cheer us. I think everyone should wear little name tags and say hello my name is but they pick they pick their favorite so it's like hello I'm a Michael I'm not gonna say you have to but you won't

it won't be frowned upon if you bow when we come out that is true that's true you can bow or clap or clap while you bow and as we've discussed

we will at the end of the show be center stage and not clapping but Eric and Nick will be clapping oh that's right I forgot you two will, at the end of the show, be center stage and not clapping, but Eric and Nick will be clapping for us on the peripheral. You two will be in the middle, but we, for some reason, will be on the sides clapping.

You'll be there on the side. You will be clapping for us. I don't know. Taco Gate, he might be off the stage. He might have to have a seat in the aisle. You better buy a ticket. Sauce Monkey's going to do it. He's doing executions! No, I already was executing him earlier. He was looking at me like, why would you do this? And it's because of the Tago. Now he's got two.

Don't forget, you can't aim up. Your gun will jam. Your gun only points down, and we know it. Jesus Christ. Don't forget that proof of vaccination is required at Talia Hall, so bring your vaccination cards, bring your proof of vaccination. If you don't have it, don't come. Proof of vaccination is required at Talia Hall, so bring your vaccination cards, bring your proof of vaccination.

If you don't have it, don't come. Bring proof of vaccination or tell me why it's bad. Don't forget that you can take out your phone and just start yelling at people. If you can, I'll say 60 seconds, go. If you change my mind, I'll let you in, but then you've got to suck the vaccine out of me with your teeth like pulling venom out of me it's pretty good um good luck finding it it's been in

there a while so I'm not sure if you guys have found this uh I just found this if you want to get a look at all of our past episodes and ratings you should go listen to them again. But if you want a quick look. And the post show. Oh, yeah. Don't forget about it. Don't forget. LBO. Go to Face Jam. One more bite. One more bite. What was it?

One last bite. Was that it? Yeah, that's it. OLB. Yeah, that's the name. Was that it for the thing that we are doing? Uh-huh. Yeah.

Hey, go to FaceJamPodStats.com. It is a list of every episode that we've done. Wow. Individual ratings and combined ratings. It is compiled by a- Compiled? It is compiled. He said, I was busy laughing because simultaneously you said,

Wow. And I said, Why? And it couldn't be more on brand. Hey, here's all this information. I thought, why? And it couldn't be more on brand. Of, hey, here's all this information. And I go, that's stupid. And Jordan goes, this is very interesting. I thought you both said wow.

And then you said compiled. Yep. And we all heard it. Well, it is compiled by a loyal jammer. Written here it says Bernie with a question mark, but I don't know if that's true. I can't say. I don't know.

So you can follow at FaceJamPod. Do stay up to date on everything. So we'll see you. Why did you write that? Write what? Why did you write Bernie? What do you mean? No, someone else wrote that, I think.

Oh, don't forget to go to store.roosterteeth.com for all your FaceJam needs. We're going to have a sale, I think. I wonder if it's happening now. Is it a flash sale? I don't remember. We'll say yes. Okay. Go check it out. Startoutreach.com. See if things are on sale. It might be 30%

off today only. Could be. Or there might not even be a sale at all. So you have to go to the website and figure it out. Just keep going. One of two things is going to happen. You're going to show up, there's going to be a flash sale, 30% off, or it's just going to say, gotcha. Gotcha! Jordan, you want to take us out? Hold on, I'm going to facejampodstats.com.

Okay. Wow. Wow, we loaded so quickly. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. Send it to somebody who knows who this is. Everybody to the limit, everybody to the limit, everybody come on forward, guys.

Nobody in the demographic is going to know. People are just going to think that's a guy they knew. Yep. Is that Sal? Yeah. Is that? I know Sal. Mark!

Is that what Nick sounds like? I thought Sal was dead. Goodbye. Should we? Hey, do you think Nick's going to go to another Taco Cabana and get the food that he didn't get today? Probably. Classic Arby's style.

He's making eyes at me. You're about to get put down.