100% Eat - Taco Deli Drunken Pork Tacos

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

In this episode, Michael Jones, Jordan Cwierz and Eric Baudour eat and review Taco Deli Drunken Pork Tacos so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about stealing each other’s glasses, Nick keeps reading out loud what he *might* order, Rosgar is funny if you trust us, Taco Deli sauce lore, and the true meaning of Uffda.  Head to http://www.store.roosterteeth.com to grab some new Face Jam merch. Butterfly forks & spoons on sale Thursday March 2nd! Sponsored by Shady Rays: Go to http://shadyrays.com and use code FACEJAM for 50% off 2 or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. And check out the world’s best DnD podcast, Tales From the Stinky Dragon, wherever you get your podcasts! We love it.  Already a FIRST Member and need your Private RSS feed for this show? Go here: http://bit.ly/FIRSTRSS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a Rooster Teeth production. Welcome to Face Jam. The show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones, alongside my co-host, now and forever, Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? A little under the weather this week, but I'm hanging in there. You really dropped that.

I was like, what? And you went, what? You started out pretty low-key as well. Yeah, but I built up. Well, who's to say I'm not about to build up? Well, I think, hey, Hank, quiet. I'm building up some mucus. Look, before Eric times it, I'm going to just get into it, because today we're reviewing Dip, Dip, Dip, Shabu, Shabu. Look, I'm just before Eric times it. I'm going to just get into it because today we're reviewing dip, dip, dip.

No, we're not. I am. How long we can talk. I'm reviewing dip, dip, dip. No, it's not. No. Shabu. Is that not where we went?

That's where we parked. Michael and I secretly went. That's not where we went. We parked in front of it. We're ramping up. It's true. It's very Sisyphean where you're just sort of up the hill and then you're knocking it back down the hill and it just kind of keeps going. Well, this is where we reveal that Michael and I secretly went to Trip Dip earlier today.

That's what we call it. Tripity Dip X3. Nope. We did park. Dip X3, State of the Union. We did park in front of Dip Dip Dip Shabu Shabu. We did. Which also has an ice cream attachment.

Nick was thrilled about the ice cream. But went just to the left to Taco Deli. Taco Deli. Where we ate the- Such a different restaurant and experience. It's very different. We ate, apparently, the Taco Deli drunken pork tacos. It's true.

That's why we had to have some margs. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, he's excited. Yeah, he's screaming. We had some sort of altercation Nick and I A verbal altercation

He's getting real riled up over these sunglasses he lost And he He threatened to take mine And then I made a threatening pose And I said try to take it And he said I had a margarita And I was like so did I And then he said you're at half power I'm at full power And I didn't know what that meant And he said, I had a margarita. And I was like, so did I. And then he said, you're at half power.

I'm at full power. I'm at full power. And I didn't know what that meant. And he didn't elaborate. No. So somehow the marg has weakened me. Right. But strengthened him.

It seems the effect of the margarita is stronger for him. It's a boost for him. But it weakens you. Either way, he's powerful. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Now, thankfully, I learned. He's full of cheese and margarita.

I learned moments. He was very much in his element at Taco Bell, which is not a surprise. Oh, he kept. Well, I will get to it. But he kept saying out loud what he wanted to get. And you kept basically telling him to stop. And he didn't stop. But I'm glad that I found out that Shady Rays is a sponsor this episode.

Because they're about to get a lot of free promotion. Is that right? I'm just saying there's been a bit of a saga. Nick did something with his glasses. What does Nick do? My glasses went missing. Sunglasses turned up and I said, I'll take Jordan's for a while. This is great.

Had them way too long. Finally saw Jordan and went, Hey, I got your glasses back. And he went, Those aren't mine. These are mine. I went. Oh, I guess they're Nick's. And then they lost them and never found them again. And then immediately refound my own. And so everything was great. But as you've heard... That'd be great for Michael. That's what I said.

And so, you know, they have this amazing replacement policy if they're lost or stolen. I just don't know which one it is. Well, no, but here's the thing. They were both stolen and lost. But also, is it on my policy? No, no. Does, no, but here's the thing. It could be both. But also, is it on my policy? Does it go on his policy? It would have to be on his policy.

However, if he never received the glasses, he did receive them, though. You had them, right? And then they were stolen. He left them. So I think it's whatever happened first. But then I lost them. So are they stolen or lost? It depends who puts the claim in. If he puts the claim in, they're stolen. If I put the claim are they stolen or lost? It depends who puts the claim in If he puts the claim in they're stolen

If I put the claim in they're lost You shouldn't be claiming I'm very confused And here's the thing Nick's done the right thing And is to accept it week after week And more or less Just not bring it up

He kind of just sits there hoping that this is the week. This could be the day. Maybe they'll turn up. Who's to say? I don't know. I'm pretty sure we lost them at that lunch we ate with Armando. That's right. I think they're at that Denny's.

I think they're at that Denny's. In which case, you're not getting those back. Yeah, those are gone. It's a little surprising today he starts raising a fuss. It's already been a couple months. Just move on. It's already been a couple months. You're never going to see him again.

But, but, but. Yeah. He's done the right thing. Yeah. He's kept his mouth shut. Okay. So now he will be rewarded. No way!

He will be rewarded for his patience and his silence. This is the best day of Nick's life. Now with, I'm going to throw in a little bonus case. Wait, put them on. A little bonus case. Put them on so we can't use the picture of them. Yeah, so I'll put the mask over his face. It's fine.

We'll do some tricky Photoshop. Yeah, you got it. Those are the ones. The plastic is still on the sides. Those are the ones that were lost and stolen. They're close enough. I didn't bother to actually look up the ones I lost. He wasn't getting that much.

I do remember it having some sort of wood siding. I knew the side was right. Couldn't remember the lens color. Don't care. Here's the main reason I got it, too. Very cool thing by Shady Ridge. For like an extra 18 bucks, I got a random pair. Did you really?

Oh, yeah. They do a little like special grab bag thing. Well, mostly it's for me, even though his were way more. What did you get? It was a perfect pair of sunglasses for my ex. Nice. I opened it and went, no brainer. They're cat-shaped.

People are going to listen to this and be like, wow, this whole thing is sponsored by Shady Race. Not at all. I paid for them. I did not use their incredible program. That's why I said I'm glad they're sponsoring this, because this was going to get told no matter what. I literally just got them today. Remember I told you I'm going to be a little late?

I had to wait for the delivery. Incredible. He's wearing them right now. I waited until about two weeks to go to order them, and I went, I don't think they're turning up. Phenomenal. Could investigate the policy. I don't want to deal with that.

Now that Nick has them. Get my own pair? Oh, they're not for me? I'll give them away? That's fine. Now that Nick has them, they will turn up. Yeah. Oh, not for me. I'll give them away. That's fine. Now that Nick has them, they will turn up. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's fine. But look, now he's riding high. And that. He loves it. He's so happy. That is how you pay back to a sponsor. So any potential sponsors out there, if you want any crazy antics like that. We don't give you money, I guess.

Front load us with tons of money. And then I'll use a small, tiny fraction of that to have a cool story. Even though I don't get any of it so I'm still out. The story's worth its weight in gold. Right. But I wish it was gold. It's worth nothing in bills. I just said he's wearing the sunglasses. He continues

to wear the sunglasses. He looks cool. He looks like a cool DJ. Because we ate there, which was nice, at the Taco Deli, not Dip Dip Dip Shabu Shabu. Right. But he was off unsuccessfully checking on the food at some point. And I was like, Nick's going to be excited today. So you got a surprise for him. This really is the best day of Nick's life, I think.

He got free lunch. So much queso. And the glasses back that were stolen from him. Incredible glasses. A similar-esque pair. And a margarita. And he got some king cake. And he was just about to cross me.

Yep. It was true. It was perfect timing. I think if it were two weeks from now, it would have been too late. I really like that you were so content-minded that we were outside the whole time, and you knew you could have given him the glasses while we sat in the sunshine, but instead waited until we came in to record the episode. He was placed strategically with his back to the sun.

No, I thought about it, and I went, man, this will be really useful at lunch, but will it be as good to give it to him at lunch? Or should I make him wait until they're no longer useful for this day? Because it will be dark when we leave. But he's going to be thrilled. He's going to wear them on the way home. He's going to get in a car crash. We can eat probably, I'm just saying off the top of my head,

maybe almost eight minutes of the podcast by the time I'm done telling that story. Killing eight minutes here is much more important than killing eight minutes at the restaurant. Absolutely. We can kill any time at the restaurant. I pay money out of my pocket. It better go into me working less.

That's right. That's the algorithm that I live by. And now we're past the eight minute mark. And we did it. Great job. So, Taco Deli. What do you think of Taco Deli? I don't know. Have we eaten there before for the show? We have never eaten there for the show. I may have never eaten there.

Me neither. I have zero exposure to Taco Deli. It may have been presented somewhere. It's like a catering thing. It's very possible that I've put it in my mouth, like many things. But I've never sought it out. What are you pointing at? This leads me to think. Do you want me to turn it

like that? There you go. So is the first eight minutes unusable? We can do it again. It just sucks. Yeah, just do it one more time. Welcome to FaceShare. I'm sure we're... Hey, we gotta rewind. Give me those fucking glasses back. Right now. fucking glasses back right now give them back right now remember when we were doing a recording and then our recording stopped right

yeah you remember that it was like two minutes in wow yeah uh wait when the in the cars no no this was no it was here yeah yeah it just like stopped like totally yeah totally derailed the whole thing yeah the whole episode was a fucking mess Which is good Anyway, Taco Deli is one of those places I'm beginning to realize that I could have eaten there before Like it was catered to work one day Or something

And it's just so, I guess, middling That it's very forgettable Because It's not a memorable name Horrible name. It's just sort of like food place. You had a lot of questions. A taco deli.

You had a lot of questions about the deli as we were getting into the car. Right. You had so many questions about pastrami. I thought maybe I could get a nice pastrami on raw. Not a lot of deli stuff going on when you get there. No. Mostly taco stuff. They got lettuce.

I don't want to go to a place called taco deli. I'll tell you that. Was there lettuce? Probably. I didn't see any lettuce. He place called Taco Deli. Was there lettuce? Probably. I didn't see any lettuce. He knows. If he says yes, there was cilantro. Dude, he's the expert. Don't question this freak. I mean, you were just saying it. On this, his best day? Right.

On his, this freakiest show? Not the other normal show? Right. We're starting to learn that other shows are using Nick. Yeah. Like three years after the fact. Well, they're, you you know they weren't quick on the draw it's true they didn't recognize the star potential i recognize this man has everything but a face cover that up and we're golden oh nick did you not come from radio i rest my case there you go so you won't be insulted when we say you have a face for radio.

Cover that up. Making money. Oh, I guess if we're talking about the monkey. The not talking thing doesn't make sense with radio. No, it doesn't. That actually doesn't track at all. It doesn't. Well, it needs to be in line with something.

If we are talking about the monkey, can we talk about this? I thought you were talking about Taco Bell. I mean, this is. No, we'll get to Taco Bell in a minute. We'll get to that thing we've never eaten before. So, this is hot off the press as far as this morning. Tony hit us up and he's like... Tony White, who we haven't gotten to the bottom of yet,

was at Ann Alamo Sunday night. Would you like to slack him right now and see if we get a response? So, he said, hey, want to maybe do a vinyl toy? Is that something you guys are interested in? Which is not a record if you think it is. You're not dumb if you think that. thinks that it's a little toy but it's a toy so stupid he sent us a few drawings of what he thinks it could be to me it's the second one the second one is close i like i like the fur on the mask uh-huh and i like that he's got a little

hat yeah because he's a he's the train conductor it makes me want to do a series where he's got a different hat every time wine box box monkey in different costumes. I want that so much. Okay. That costs a lot of money. No, no, no. Because you can do... I won't labor under the delusion that it's cheap.

Well, I guess it probably does. But you can do... As long as it's the same pose, maybe. I got... So I got some Snoopies that are different colors, but it's not like they're all... It's just like, here's a purple one, here's a green one, here's a yellow one. And then they're... They're all the same Snoopy, but they're different colors?

No, they're all in different poses. Okay, okay. And then they're all just like, here's a purple one, here's a green one, here's a yellow one. And then they're all the same Snoopy, but they're all in different poses. Okay. And then they're all just like single color. So you want a good color and you also want a good pose. Yeah. And so you do like four poses, three colors, and then you're blind boxing. Now there's a bunch. And there could be like him standing in the hoodie.

I'm okay with him eating. I don't know how into it I am. Okay. Is that him eating with the mask up? Yeah, he's got to lift it up. I don't like it. Here's my thing. Too much human.

Here's my thing. Nick wants to come over and see so bad. Here's my thing. Look, he's not showing these for a reason. You're breaking protocol. People forget he's on the show. Which one? Gut reaction, one, two, three.

I think there's a world we can do. Three, okay. I think there's a world we can do something like lifting the mask up but we limit like there's no face yeah yeah yeah it should we have to design it as there's only like chin and under yeah and then we put a lot of focus on the eyes but if you were to rip it to shreds there's just nothing there it's kind of like strong bad's face it's we're not this isn't resident evil 7 we're not trying to find Ethan's face. Right, right, right.

The mask is his face. Correct. Did Tony get back to you? I'm trying to type it up properly. Okay, we'll keep talking. I'm pretty much good. I kind of want him standing at the very least. Really?

I really like the sitting. The sitting to me is like the best part of that thing. He doesn't do a lot of little sits like that. I guess not. I just like the way he's drawn thing. He doesn't do a lot of like little sits like that. I guess not. I just like the way he's drawn maybe. He needs to be doing something monkey-ish. To me, he's not doing anything with sauce and I feel like that's a missed opportunity.

You guys let me know how this is. Clutching some. Okay, what you got? He's giggling. Sorry. I'm doing funny things. Also, Tony, did you see Ant-Man Sunday Night at an undisclosed Alamo draft house?

9.20 p.m. maybe? Do you think it was subtle? I think you did good there. Now we'll see what happens. Right. You should have specified, I will not be giving further notes until I have an answer. Eric was asking.

That's great. You're still looking. That's great. That's great. You're still looking. That's great. That's great. The other thing, so if we're, so if we gotta think of like different poses, I do think you should do a sauce thing. Him sitting in the

conductor's hat, I think the conductor's hat is the thing I like the most. Yes. I think that's fine. I like the texture of the mask. Yeah, but we gotta make him wear it more. Yeah, that's true. We gotta get that thing back on his head. The other thing to consider as well is that this... A non-record doll version of himself this is going to be 3d and going for some textured like that might be a little tricky that's tough yeah okay so what about the uh monkey justice gavel oh i think that's like we're so i think that i think that's pretty the fucking amazing the art

on the fucking whatever it's called like like the. The thing that it slams down on. That's perfect. It should say Face Jam differently. Because it's the show logo and I feel like it should be a little bit more professional. It should look more like a seal.

Also, I'd like to point out too, while it is Face Jam divergent it's spitting silly it is it's true so i'm not saying we need three layers and we definitely need some sort of spitting silly on yeah that's you know i mean that's true you were just saying earlier how we got to get those numbers up yeah we got these idiots listening to face jam and then a good drop off to spit and Silly, the same show. Yeah.

And the same feed. You don't have to do anything. Maybe we say Spit and Silly instead of Face Jam. I'm just saying. Maybe we make a food court logo. Oh. Or is that too many levels deep at that point? It's so many levels deep.

Go deeper. Okay. Keep digging. I want to make this unrelatable. Right. You know what I mean? Somebody's going to look at it and go,

how is this a face sheet? Like, let's come up, let's sell something we came up with off air earlier and we don't repeat. Yeah.

And I think that will really sell the best. Now we got it. Okay, so maybe a spit and silly thing, maybe, this is good, we can get back to him

about this. Do you think, do you think we could sell something? Do you think we could come up with some sort of real, you'd have to scout on or could come up with some sort of real you'd have to scout on

or trust us yeah but some sort of real inside reference that we wouldn't explain but would sell and say trust us it makes sense to us yeah take our word for it would volunteer to take our word for it enough where someone went what does that mean you go i don't know but it's a really funny inside joke and i want to be in on it i'm not in on it but i'm spreading, but it's a really funny inside joke. And I want to be in on it. I'm not in on it, but I'm spreading it. And it's funny. It's funny. Without knowing. They said trust them.

If I came up with one I'd be confident enough to do, I'd sell that shirt. I don't know if people would buy it. It's something to think about. Where it just says like, Rosgar. And people are like, what's that mean? It's like, bro, Rosgar is fucking funny. I can't believe you brought up Rosgar. I'm telling you, though.

We'll never tell you. You're such a firebrand. It's not. Oh, I wish. This is a hypothetical I can get into. brought up Roscoe. I'm telling you though, we'll never tell you. You're such a firebrand. It's not, oh, I wish. This is a hypothetical I can get into. Now we're talking. This is good.

Okay, well we gotta think about, let us know at Face Jam Pod, let us know if you trust us with this inside joke. Oh, what we should do. Tony got back to us. Okay,

what do we got? What do we got? Tony said, Eric was asking. Yeah, I was not asking. I mean, that's not what the slack says. Tony said, I definitely did. I was not asking. I mean, that's not what the Slack says.

Tony said, I definitely did. Season pass solo viewing to check out the orange shake on the Ant-Man menu. There's an orange shake? Yeah, so. You said you saw him by himself, right? It was not me. That's what I heard. The thing that we should consider off of the back of this is that we should do a face jam episode from alamo draft house sometime we need to do a like face jam i think would benefit from getting out of the studio in

terms of not necessarily recording but why did you make that face why are you making that face oh boy oh i was trying to think what i should say back to him about eric i think we need to expand past restaurants and really find some interesting things. I tuned out for 30 seconds, and he's talking about not doing food on Facebook. No, we're doing food on Facebook. We're not doing restaurants.

We're doing movie theater restaurants. Alamo Drafthouse has the Ant-Man menu. How about this? Flix. I pick. Ever heard of it? Flix? No, what is that?

It's like Alamo, basically. Violet Crown. There you go. Underground. Make sure no one can go to it. Check out Flix. Okay, that's good. I mean, maybe we'll, maybe we have ideas for the future.

That sounds like a spit and silly. Yeah. No, I think we can do it in our regular thing. I think we can get more niche and spit and silly. But I think Alamo is a thing that's outside of like yeah but it's still not available to everyone you can't go what the fuck like hey i didn't pick the restaurant but what i'm saying is that we already did a thing that's this niche to exclude alamo only because you didn't want fish. I didn't want fish? Yeah. I think we all didn't want fish. It was mostly you

though. You decided for us that you didn't want fish. Just like the last time he got all that food nobody asked for. All those meatball sandwiches. That was right. Yeah. Whose idea was that? And then today he kept saying chips in case. I didn't want them. No, you know who wanted them?

Yeah. This fucking freak standing behind me while we were in line and i kept having to ask oh he said we're you kept saying out loud this is what i mentioned earlier yeah you kept saying so we had we had the food right we had the taco del drunken pork tacos which was like one each and then and then uh you were like, you should get something else because it's just one taco. And then even almost as an example, Eric said, I'm getting this. And then Nick kept saying out loud what he might get.

And then you're like, what are you doing? And he went, I'm looking. Oh, yeah. I was almost like, what are you talking about? Why do you keep talking about all the tacos? He goes, I'm looking. I go, no, you can look without talking. Looking is a silent activity.

You're reading. Because like Eric said, I'm going to get this, get whatever you want. And then Nick threw like one thing out like, oh, I guess he's getting that. And then he kind of went, oh, or this one, I read that. And then I think after the second or third one, you said out loud again, I'm getting this. I'm just saying what I'm getting. Because he started going like,

what if we got this? There's no more we at that point. It's you. What do you want? What do you want? Of course, Eric, think about getting mad, just turns around and gestures to everyone. And of course I go,

I don't know why you're looking at me. And he went, I'm not. Oh, maybe we should get the, and again, he knows this place. He's talking about, he's talking about Taco Deli like it's an old friend.

I did learn that apparently I've had the doña before. Oh, that sauce. One of their sauces. My wife gets it all the time. Yeah, it's a whole thing. There you have it.

That's Taco Deli. I mean, for the first part. Jordan, do you have a haiku that you can read about the Taco Delicatessen? Going by its Christian name. Yeah. As previously mentioned, I don't know anything about Taco Deli,

so I did seek out help for this one. Okay. Let's see if you can figure out who helped me. Okay. Four sauces in sync. Roja, Verde, Donya, Hob. Sold at HEB. Did you consult the HEB website?

Did you talk to your wife? Who? He's shaking his head no twice. What was the contents of the haiku? Hot sauces? But are you? Did Nick help you? Are you upset by it or what?

I'm sorry, hang on. Did Nick write the haiku? He didn't write it, but he did give me material. So I don't understand. You're knowing just as little. I don't know why you're confused. Is it too accurate? Is it not accurate?

Is it too accurate? Right. Is it too on the nose with the sauces? The other haikus have a feeling. This one is strictly fact-based. I know nothing. Okay. This is just these sauces now on sale at the grocery store.

Okay. Five, seven, five. One of the things I asked for Nick was, any personal thoughts on Taco Deli? Like, did it used to be better in 2001? And he said, oh, yeah yeah it was way better in 2012 spread too much too fast but good sauces for sale in the store now but here's your problem jordan you went to nick for the haiku of course no one else gets it of course i was like wow that was

really off brand for jordan because you consulted this guy. He didn't tell you a story. That no one ever identifies with. He didn't tell you what he ate. He didn't regale you with a tale. He just went, you can buy the sauces. I'll send my wife there later. And not only, and not that this is any better,

but I feel like what's maybe even more just real is I've heard enough, having never gone to Taco Deli or I don't think, but hearing enough about the Verde debate, there was even a point where you and I were there. You were getting some sauce on the table, and they had the four of them in the condiment section. In order. They had the four sauces in order from like mild to the spiciest. And I know that I don't even know all four. I'm just like, these are the two, right? Like the first two? Yep. And you're like, what's going on? I'm like, is this right

or is this wrong? Because all I know is sometimes a lot of times in Texas, it's wrong. It is wrong. The green is wrong. Sometimes they switch green and red. And I'll say it's accurate because most times I think and I'm accurate in thinking oh, the green is hotter. Yes, it is. But I'm pretty sure I've heard you both say, this is wrong.

This is the only place I've been to in Texas where it is correct. Where they have Verde. Well, that's where I'm saying. The Verde is the mild one. In a more realistic haiku of humanity, which yours lacked because you consulted Nick. Yep. I feel like even that was more haiku-like. Is it wrong or right?

Yep. He did it. Yeah. Correct. Delicious sauces. And he went, this is right. This is right. And I'm like, good.

They have Verde, which is mild. And then they have a Roja, which is red. And that's the second hottest. To make it simpler, too, I covered the third and fourth with my hands. And you went, is this it? Don't look at these. The first two, is that right or wrong? It's right. It is correct.

And then they have the Donia and then they have a Habanero. I didn't even try the Habanero. I didn't bother. Yeah, me neither. It's not fun. And I've had the Donia before. That one has some kick to it. I like the Donia. I could drink the Donia. That's fucking great. But hey, you know what? Since you guys haven't been, we should learn about Taco Deli.

Okay, I'll learn right now. Did Nick also write these facts? No. Founded by Mexican expatriate. Expatriate? Okay. There's got to be a hyphen in there. What?

If there's no hyphen, you would say Ant-Man. So you would say expatriate. Expatriate. Expatriate. Not expatriate. And you spelledatriate not expatriate and you spelled patriot wrong no that's how the word is spelled it's a different word you almost spelled pirate no that's how expatriate founded by mexican expatriate roberto espinozo that one was a lot

easier than the other word you made up got it taco deli has been been an Austin institution since it began in 1999. Which is like, it's not super old, but old enough. You say it's a baby, 24 years is a long time. Well, that's the thing. It's a quarter of a century. But every time I hear about what, oh, keep Austin weird, it's always 1994. I always just hear 1994. Who do you hear it from? Yeah, exactly.

You always hear like Austin's weird. And then like that time, 99 is like right on that cusp. Right on that cusp. Yeah, that's. Are you saying cusp than 2001? Right. New millennium. To me, 1999 is just it's three years ago.

Yeah. You got to get your head checked. Forever in my head. You got a problem, man. I hate to pick it to you. They've been spread too thin since 2012. When did that happen? Taco Deli, which doesn't sell pastrami,

has 11 locations in Austin and in the Dallas-Forth Worth area. Oh, it does say Fourth Worth. Yeah. I mean, that's what it's... They're very forthright about that. But always taste best when you have a 9.30.m call time for a 10 a.m shoot but the shoot doesn't really get started until 11 yeah right but the tacos arrived around 8 30 when the first crew member got there yum yum so i think you've had taco remember when i mentioned

earlier i probably had it that would be the scenario in which but don't worry i didn't show up for the 10 a.m call time time because I know they're not ready. You know exactly what's going on. I've been around the block once or twice, my friend. You cruise in about 10, 45, and you know you still got 15, 20 minutes before anyone's ready for you. Fool me once, shame on you.

Yeah. Fool me for 12 years, shame on me. But that's where I've had Taco Deli the most, is waiting for a shoot to occur. I like walking in in by the way because granted then you have the people's whose job it is on set to ask where are you that's fine right because that's regardless if you're needed or not you're not there on quote-unquote call time so they gotta they gotta message you but when i know those people personally what i like to do is

once i arrive i then take my phone out and I say, that's today? I do that all the time. Awesome. Scott free. Just no repercussions whatsoever. Oh, I guess he didn't. And then I wait and then they go. And then I walk in and go.

Just kidding. See, it's now look, I brought you down, but only to bring you up. Don't you feel so much better than you did one minute ago? I mean, a minute ago I was feeling fine. Right, but now you feel great! I just had to take you down a little bit, but now you feel great! If you always feel fine, that's the way to live. I feel like I'm going into shock.

Look, a 15% down is worth an 80% up. Wow. I'm just saying. In my book, and in my book for you what i'll do it for you okay i'm just gonna say i don't know what he means by that i will say he pointed right at me when he said it too oh yeah because i've been doing it to you and will continue to one day i might tell you about it fact number three best queso in austin fact number four taco deli's most popular salsa the salsa dona was created by one of the kitchen staff and Taco

Deli was, maybe, hacked because one blog they found it on nailed the recipe near perfectly. Although, they won't confirm the blog, we've done some digging and found the hacker blog run by littlex, big x, little x, underscore

sauce, e with a 3, dash, m, 0, nK, 3Y, dash, capital M, 4, Trix, underscore, Lil X, Big X, Lil X. Sauce Monkey Matrix, in case you didn't get it. In. Leet speak. Truly Leet. I'm a big Mega Tokyo guy.

I think the Sauce Monkey has shown that he loves the sauce so much that he would recreate this at home if he could. What happened with that one, by the way? Just the fact. Where were you at when that one got written? That was a this morning fact. I did start the sheet yesterday on my day off

because I didn't have time otherwise. You know, not a lot of facts about Taco Deli, a place that's Austin-centric. When you search Taco Deli lawsuit, not a ton. And that's usually the crux. Yeah, that's one of your secrets. You know, you're scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Taco Deli, quote, crazy facts, didn't return a lot of stuff for me. Okay. I want to know where this fact ends, because it sounds like a fact up until it's a fact. Here's why I pointed it out. And they said it's not even it's not even the legitimacy of the text. It's the fact that he nailed it, that usually he has no time.

And clearly he had time. Oh, I had time. You know what I mean? And so that's why I went, hmm, this is an interesting one because clearly he had time. It's been crafted. And he really enjoyed it. Oh, I wonder when it was. Writing the name Sauce Monkey Matrix. This is not a crunch. is an interesting one because clearly he had time it's been crafted and he really enjoyed it oh i like i wonder when it was sauce monkey matrix this this is not a crunch i gotta get this done now

this is having a cup of coffee i'm gonna i'm gonna tickle myself i'll spin a little web for eric to read it is the best one to be uh to be preceded by best queso in austin yeah a non-fact what do you mean uh whose fact is that the uh eric's is eric's favorite queso it might be is it wow torches oh damn maybe we have to have a case you keep saying that yeah maybe so i've just tweeted at him and yeah maybe someone should tweet it never gets more tweets wins right don't tweet at me uh i think less i think i'm mostly you're thinking he doesn't mean me that's right yeah you're thinking he doesn't mean me, that's right You're correct, he doesn't mean you When I was writing the fact about the salsa

I was excited thinking about the monkey dressed like the Matrix Oh dude Like the little glasses Yeah, that's cool The trench coat and everything Pulled some guns He kicks the trench coat back and it's just sauces And he pulls them out Start squirting No, no, no. No guns. He kicks the trench coat back, and it's just sauces. Well, here's what he needs to do, too.

And he pulls them out. Start squirting. The monkey needs to wear the Matrix glasses on the monkey face. Yeah. Underneath, we need to make sure we get a shot of him wearing his brand new Shady Rays. Oh, that's right. The Shady Rays glasses. His current episode sponsor, but not sponsor's sunglasses.

I bought them myself. Didn't use the return or stolen policy. I wasn't sure which one it was or who filed the claim yep so i just got a new one also got an extra 18 mystery pair great pair great pair they look great um this is not the ad section this is not the ad section but that and these are facts happened today that's fact i'm just saying i would love to see a shot of him wearing the glasses but inside the mask you can also see him wearing glasses. It should be the shady race.

Again, what they should also do is say, hey, wow, that was above and beyond. You guys didn't need to do that. We're going to retroactively give you way more money for this ad. That's what they should do. To the sales department and not us. But maybe, hey, maybe next time, they'll be like,

we'll get you on the back end. Like I gave Nick those glasses. Maybe they in turn will give us glasses, but money. And the final fact, in 2018 Taco Deli opened a restaurant in Austin Bergstrom. See, you put the dash there. That was good. I didn't say Austin Bergstrom.

International Airport, joining the likes of Eastside Pies and Salt Lake as local Austin eateries, you can scarf down on your 40-minute layover so when you get on your next plane, your farts are weird, just like the city. Drinking that Doña salsa and getting on a flight to Salt Lake City. How many layovers do you fly in Austin? How many layovers do I have in Austin? How many layovers do I have in Austin?

Well, when I get to the airport and I haven't boarded a plane yet, I count that as a layover. So one. When I come home. Because I'm waiting. When I come home, it's a very long layover. I'm just telling you under this scenario where it's not a layover,

I make sure I get there with an hour and a half. So that way you got... So I can have time for Salt Lake. What, you think I'm driving 45 minutes to a Salt Lake? Hell no. Fuck no. I'll drive 20 minutes for a flight. I'll buy a Spirit Airline ticket, walk in, eat Salt Lake, walk out, leave.

Look, if you buy a Spirit Airline ticket, odds are the company's going to go under before you get to your flight. Yeah, or the plane's going to fall apart. So hopefully we'll get a refund. I used to go to the airport more often when flight. Or the plane's going to fall apart. I used to go to the airport more often when they had Annie Ann's. You know what I mean? Now what am I going to do? Go to a mall? Ridiculous.

Ridiculous. I always get Salt Lake. Go to the airport like an adult. The mall's dead. Go to the airport. I only fly out of the South Terminal. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I got the South Terminal? Walk straight onto the tarmac. Are you like a number one guy?

Number two guy? Yeah, you walk right in. Easy. The plane is just a guy flapping his wings. You jump on it. I don't get on a fucking plane unless it's gate 26 or higher. Wow. Okay.

My people are down the far right end of the airport. I get in and I say, we're not even close to here yet. You walk by the Rudamaya coffee shop and you keep going. You walk by Annie's thinking it's Annie Ann's every single time. You know the font and the color are different. That's what you fucking think.

Fuck you, Annie. You're not Annie Ann. You fool. Bring back the yellow and blue. I think it's white and blue, actually. Yeah, it is. Pretzels are Wetzel's pretzels. Golden brown, though. Wetzel's is good, too. I'll take a Wetzel's. I just grew up

with Annie Ann's. We didn't really have, we weren't really propagated with Wetzel's, but it's the same damn thing. Never really bought pretzels at the mall, but they gave samples out and you'd eat a lot of samples. Well, this was back in the day when there was not any more to do with the mall but certainly nothing to do at home.

Yes. And so it seemed like there was more to do with the mall. Funny how that switch happened. Sitting there doing nothing was so much. That switch happened where there's so much to do at home now and nothing to do with it. Why the fuck would I just stand here? Because before you'd have to go you'd have to tell mom I'm going on the computer

and go in the computer room of your house. Don't pick up the phone. Yeah, yeah. So you're like, I'm just going to go, you'd have to tell mom, I'm going on the computer and go in the computer room of your house. Don't pick up the phone. Yeah, yeah. So you're like, I'm just going to go to the mall and stand around instead. I'm going to walk by this kiosk and see if they hassle me.

Even when you did that, you didn't buy things on the internet because it took 14 days to get shipped. I'll just go to Sears. It was just, yeah, right. There was no, yeah, like Amazon type.

Off a catalog. Right. Oh, hell yeah. I'm going to call this phone number and ask for item 59321. Yep. I'm going to call the Blockbuster and see if they'll hold the game for me. I can't wait to get to Toys R Us and look for that ticket. Then we'll take that ticket over to that window,

push that button where no one shows up, and just keep pushing it and just praying to God. And you look in that little, little kid vault, and imagine money, but instead it's just like hundreds of games. And you just start drooling because it's not like GameStop. It's not like GameStop where there's a couple. It's the entire inventory. And it's just in that one room.

Why does he do it that way? And some guy's like, I'll be right there. And he's got to bring the little key. He's like, hang on. He walks back there like it's a pawn shop. Whatever you do, don't leave without paying. What can I get you? And you say, I'm looking to score Banjo-Kazooie.

Will this little yellow slip get me one? And he goes, you know, if there's a slip, we have a copy left. And then he ran back for Goldeneye. Hang on. And then we're at Taco Deli. Yay. Well, those are the facts. We learned a lot about Taco Deli.

I think that might have been spitting silly. We might have been spitting silly. Yeah, it's really hard to tell where the facts end learned a lot about Taco Bell I think that might have been spitting silly we might have been spitting silly yeah it's really hard to tell where the facts end and the sillies begin it was easy to tell when the facts ended it's when we got to sauce monkey matrix xxx underscore sauce monkey matrix xxx

that makes sense he's a hacker I mean I can read that but somebody cat can't read that that's true cat doesn't understand yeah she doesn't she looks at that she just goes what's happening she's not she looks at that and says that's my password yeah who told you she's not gonna play a nintendo game no she also doesn't know why would i play a game that looks like that's right she reads books or whatever.

Jordan, why don't you teach us about the food? Taco Deli Drunken Pork Tacos. Our drunken pork tacos are tender, savory, and braised in tequila and sherry. Oh, yeah. Dude, no wonder Nick's bouncing off the walls. That must be it. Try it for breakfast on our taco deli. I think it's the margarita, guys. No. Now, since

this is an Austin place, is this manchac or is this manchaca? Manchac. You know what? I think it is manchac. Yeah, go ahead. Try it for breakfast on our taco deli manchac taco. Or for lunch with our borracho. So we got the borracho.

Yeah, it was not breakfast. Guadalupe. Guadalupe. You know, I start calling it guad because I can't bring it. Guads! I can't call it Guadalupe. I hate it. Just do what I do.

Live here for 10 years and refuse to call it Guadalupe. Just call it Guadalupe. Just use your phone and don't ever say an address ever. Absolutely. Just drive the way the arrow tells you to go. Which road do you get on? I don't fucking know. Which road do you...

I don't know. Stop asking me. Hang on. Let me think. You go straight. Right. Shut up. Left.

Left. I don't know. Right. I turn in 10.6 miles, I guess. I don't fucking know. Manor. The one that I'm fine with, it's no one wants to say San Jacinto, so they say San Jack,

and I'm fine with that. I can live with it. Whatever. Yeah, doesn't matter. Texans. Press material. Here we go. Our partnership with

delivered the worst writing I've ever seen. DillVRD. Yep. Spell it. I thought you typo'd. D-L-I-V-R-D.

You know how you just take out the vowels and it's a cool tech word? That's an app. Our partnership with Delivered gives our teams greater flexibility, allowing them to be present in our four walls, said Alex Atwell, VP of Marketing and Catering at Taco Deli. Wait, where are you trapping these people? It is a win-win for both guests and our business delivered is attentive to our general manager's questions and offers actionable

solutions we're excited to offer our guests a more user-friendly simplified delivery they spelled it out that time process while driving incremental sales from our catering business. There was no press release for the drunken pork tacos. You don't fucking say, Eric. Do you guys love delivered? Now about these four walls. Yo, that's in the first sentence. Yo, we've trapped these people like rats.

You're running out of shit to say before the end of the first sentence. What are they saying that this company does for them? It traps their employees. It gives our teams greater flexibility and make these fuckers deliver. To be present in our four walls. Right.

Dude, I hate being in four walls and not being present. That's what I'm saying. I hate when this happens. Oh, I'm in these four walls and I'm somewhere else, brother. Shockingly, there's nothing else on the back. Nope. There's nothing else to say. Nope, that's the whole thing, guys.

That's two in a row where they're just talking about margin and business talk. Can you fucking believe that? Well, I can believe it because you put it there. Well, I mean, that's what it is. Simplify delivery process while driving incremental sales of a catering business. Right? Put me to sleep. No, he's saying two for one bingo bongo.

That's basically what he's saying. You're trapped in the walls. Two for one bingo bongo. You get trapped, get trapped and catered goes mega up. So that's why. No, not mega. Incremental. Incrementally up.

I trap you in the walls. You go up small. Oinga boinga. Got it. What did you think about... It's a really nice day. We ate at Taco Deli. I'm just going to say no matter what, I feel like this restaurant greatly benefited from the amazing weather we're experiencing right now.

I 100% agree with you. Because it's like, you know, we mostly have good weather anyway. Except for two weeks ago. We now, for some reason, for the last three years, it becomes sub-zero. That's just normal now. It happens. And even when it's not that bad, it still sucks

in people who lose power for a week. It makes no sense. Sometimes they play for Austin FC. Like, environmentally, like, oh my god, growing up in a place where it snowed and it stormed two years ago was bad for real. The last two were not. And it's still everyone lost power.

It makes no sense. But beyond that, it's still very warm. It shot up to the 70s. It's not. It was. It's 82 degrees outside right now. It was 80 yesterday. It's in the high of 80s for the next week.

And it's still winter until the end of March. Yes. This rules. Yeah. And Taco Deli had an outside area and it ruled still winter until the end of March. Yes. This rules. Yeah. And Taco Deli had an outside area and it ruled. Yeah. And so there will be some bias points. I imagine impossibly given to them.

Eating some tacos. It was just great. In the sunshine. With Margs. Having a margarita. A frozen Marg in February. Jordan got the big Mexican Coke with the pain sugar. Got a medium intro.

Oh, it was like that was the closest I felt to being back home. It's true. Since the last time I was back home. Whenever it's like spring weather, which is warm but not humid. It's just like California. It also it also I truly for like a number of minutes or time we were out there, forgot we were like eating for the podcast. Because we didn't have like a server or anything.

We just waited and then we got the food. And it was just us sitting outside on a really nice day, drinking Margs, sucking down some tacos with some chips and queso. And it was like, this is great. Fucking awesome. This is fucking great. It was so good. It was,

I think the whole restaurant experience was good. I think there weren't a lot of people in line. We cruised right in. We didn't go to Dip Dip Dip. Like, no, we parked in front of it. We got tricked a little bit. I would say it took a little long

for how much food we got, but God damn, nobody was complaining. Just sitting outside. No, no. Just being like in the shade. Nobody was in a hurry. No, it was fucking cool.

Nobody was in a hurry. It was just like, if that's what it was like to eat there all the time, fucking cool. It's not. Right. But as far as I'm aware, it is. There you go. Right. The other times I've been there.

It's not punchy. The other times I've been there. It sucks ass. Yeah, you go and you're like, I guess we can eat in the car. And you parked way down back behind the rest of the strip mall. Like on the other side of T22. Because Tumble 22 just has all the people that are there. So you're just like, fuck.

So you have to walk so far. Oh, the time definitely benefited us. Killer. Middle of the day 80 degrees awesome it was one of those things where i don't even remember who said it but it was someone went you want to eat outside and every person went fuck yeah yeah sometimes you do you're in that group where it's like what a nice day you want to sit outside someone goes no you're like i just can you leave this was like this is perfect. This is the hurdle for you.

Yep. I'll come out to lunch. I'll hang out like, ah. I won't go outside. Sit on the patio. I'm just going, God damn it. Jordan, what do you think about food? What do you think a taco deli is like a meal? As a meal, it's funny.

The thing that made me think about this restaurant maybe being middling is the fact that the queso tasted like nothing oh interesting it kind of was it was pretty the case was pretty weak yeah and while i like i do like the queso from like torch cheese which is probably the most austin the most similar type of restaurant to taco deli the one thing that always drags it down for me from torches is it's two tex-mex they're getting they're getting too cowboy cute with it and i did eat the cowboy it's true you didn't get their kid they also had a space cowboy which i guess that's i'm gonna be honest i ordered the cowboy and they gave me the space cow okay so i feel like i didn't see if there was a cowboy in a space cowboy i mean maybe i ordered maybe there wasn't a cowboy i just said cowboy and then they brought a space cowboy and i went and i went look

either i ordered a space cowboy or i just got an upgrade yep because here's the other thing if you fuck up there they don't rub it in your face right they just give you a that guy was cool as shit that guy was cool that guy was awesome we got through the whole order then i went oh fuck me hey can i add case into that he? He's like, yeah, no problem. I'm like, I'm sorry about that. I should have said it sooner. And he went, not going anywhere.

Hell yeah, man. Right on. So I followed Nick's lead for my other taco, which was just get whatever he's getting. That was smart, honestly. And it was good.

It's basically sirloin. You know, he kept saying it out loud. Yeah, he said, well, he said about four different ones out loud. He said, quiet. I waited for him to order and then just said that one.

Which was just like sirloin with some onions and green peppers. It was good. Very simple. Very similar to what I got. And they got the correct salsas. So that's bonus points for them right there. And honestly, the borracho itself was pretty good. I thought it was fine, yeah.

Little salty with its drunken pork. Hard to tell through the mug, though. Probably the tequila, am I right? Yeah. You were going crazy on that Mexican Coke. And water. I actually liked it. I enjoyed it.

It was a good meal. Again, I could be getting some bias from the good weather and good times. It was good vibes. Yeah. Even with Nick and Eric there. Yeah. And that says something. Given the other option of this.

He's a freak and he's always thinking about getting mad. It was between Taco Deli and another restaurant, which is even more niche for Austin. Yes. But I wanted to go there and I was like, I'm not going to like Taco Deli. I liked it. I'm going to give it a 78. Okay. Wow.

Nice. That's very high yeah i think i think there's a little bit of sunshine bias there but i think but i think it might be a the tacos might be a little better than torches wow oh now i will say i don't know for sure stuff the way that torches are no but that could be good or bad depending on what you want because they certainly are overstuffed i get like one torchy's taco and I go, this is fine. Here's two from Taco Deli and I'm cooking.

Here's my issue with Torchy's and I understand if you're in the pro overstuff it with food, you want this but when you order it to go, it's compact and rolled up.

Yeah. And so if you unroll it, it doesn't magically get bigger. You can eat it. If you order it there, it's fucking stuffed to shit and open-faced. And I just don't want an open-faced taco. I like it being rolled up

and the shit spills everywhere. And it's- It's practically a torta. It's like an unwritten rule where they're like, hey, you're eating here. This shit's going to spill all over the place. You're not in a rush.

Eat it up, you little pig. Scoop it up out of the bowl. Fucking eat it up. And I do it. They know I do it. I whimper. I go, while I do it. They know I do it. I whimper. I go, while I do it. And they lean over me and they say, that's right, mutt.

Look at the baby. This was not like that. This getting the taco there was like getting it rolled up. So again, if you're, ah, my extra meat. This is bad. If you just want a taco, you can eat it, not fucking spill everywhere. This was perfect size. It was.

It was a great size. I fucking love them. They were great. I thought the chips at Queso were fine, and I will say it was not amazing, but it wasn't bad. The chips come in a bag, like they're Doritos.

Well, they do come in a bag, but I'll be honest, once you empty them and pour them out, they were fine to me. I've run into that at a couple of places now since the pandemic. But what I appreciated is we left some in the bag and gave them to this sick guy. Yes. And I said, eat your own damn chips.

I might be sick. And then he started huffing them. He did immediately. Like blue velvet style. I had to breathe out my food. That was a little Nick-like from that. You guys gave me my own bag. I'm going to say, bro, both of those tacos was real good.

Sauce, us, everything. And it was not a messy meal. Got points for that. Chilling outside. I'm going to hit it with an 85. Okay. That was good. That's an 81.5.

Nick's day is just getting better. Yeah. That was a very good lunch. That was a whole experience right there. That's a place where if you've never been to Austin, you're coming to Austin, eat something, whatever, I would recommend Taco Deli. I would recommend Taco Deli.

They weren't open yet. Don't go early. It's like a dinner. Make sure you make a reservation. Definitely make a reservation. They're talking about Dip Dip Dip. And it's really like two or four people. It's a big deal if you go more than four people. That's true, yeah. Because they're kind of pre-sectioned off to be groups of four. Right, they have little cubicles.

Yeah, little walls. Taco Deli is open for breakfast. And they bring out the meat tray. Not Taco Deli. You can do an avocado dip. You can do an avocado dip as well. Everything you're going to eat. If you get the Wagyu, one swish.

Tops. Oh, yeah. Don't keep it in there too long. It'll disintegrate in the broth. But also make sure you do your other meats first so that the flavor is in the broth. Right, well, that's why

you order the vegetables, too. Even if you don't eat the vegetables, they flavor the broth. They're there to flavor it, yeah. So, a taco deli is a place... Dude, I give Dip, Dip, Dip 99. 99? Oh, shit, yeah.

That's, uh... I'd give it a 99, but I went there once and then saw this guy, that's... I'd give it a 99, but I went there once and then saw this guy, this British guy I know, and it brought down the experience. He was there too? Yeah.

It wasn't like a Tony situation where you're like, oh, cool. It wasn't on the way out. I sat down and saw him. He was like right there. Just making eye contact the whole time? Bad. Well, that's why you gotta figure out

your cubicle situation. 98. Or pivot to Taco Del situation. 98. Yeah. Or what's the average on that? Pivot to taco, taco, deli, taco, deli.

It's a, it's a great little spot. You can order online with delivered, delivered, delivered. I think that they do like the Tex-Mex Austin style tacos really well. Like they're just real straightforward. It was good.

Yeah. I like it. It does seem more authentic than Torchy's. Take that as you will from some white guy. Yeah. Who doesn't know shit about anything. Right, right, right. This one's more authentic.

I felt like I was in Mexico where I've never been before. To us, the white people, it seemed good. Let me also read this from Nick where I asked him if he wanted to help. So first thing is like, okay, they have four salsas, but the doña is the best. A lot of folks consider it to be tacos for white people. So it seems on track. No, I mean, that's what I say Torchy's is.

This might be like tacos for white people that's slightly more authentic than Torchy's. I think as a white person, I would say. I would say this is closer. Yeah. I think the thing about Torchy's. I think as a white person, I would say this is closer. Yeah. I think the thing about Torchy's is that's the place that if you've never been to Austin before,

hey, you know, hit Torchy's and then you go, oh, I went to Torchy's. When you come back a second time, you go to Taco Deli. You go to Taco Deli. When you're a little less scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A little bit. You can get out of that shell. You don't have to be on South Lamar the whole time. You can make your way out somewhere uh also don't get tricked by taco deli at a coffee shop when you go to austin java or something and they have taco deli like tacos there those are probably not the same they are they're fine uh-huh they're serviceable it is not. You don't always get the donya. You don't get really what you want. Nick's waving something. Nick says burner tacos.

Burner tacos. So I don't know. So if you're ever about to kill someone, and you don't want to leave a trail of the restaurant you ate at. I think they did that in The Wire a lot. They had burner tacos. Yeah, they would get phones and tacos that couldn't be traced. When Stringer Bell told them to put the word out that they're back up,

I think he went out and used a burner taco. Speaking of the wire, Richard Belzer. Yep. Oh, yeah, dude. Just, yeah. We were talking about him, like, the Muncherverse, right? He was only 78. Yeah.

He was 78? Mm-hmm. Wow, he's just been around forever, huh? He's always been the same guy. Yes, 100%. Love it. Hey, let's get into a snack attack. Are these from Norhe?

Yeah, so these are from Sam, who has sent us Oofta Chips. Okay. Norseland Lefse. They are cinnamon sugar potato chips. Oh, interesting. That I thought for sure, just looking at box design shape, whatever, for sure thought chocolate. Yeah, so me too.

So Ufta chips, the meaning of Ufta is looking in the mirror and discovering you're not getting better. You're getting older. That's fucking awesome. Ufta is losing your wad of gum in the chicken yard this rules is bill doh tree yeah it's the sound you make when you see bill doh tree yeah yeah I'm fat I'm old and I'm going to wake up every day fatter and older. Oofta. Oofta. Oofta is when two steady girlfriends find out about each other. Oofta.

Oofta is sneezing so hard that your false teeth end up in the bread plate. Okay. Oofta is noticing non-Norwegians at a church dinner using left-shape for a napkin. Oh, classic. God, that's the worst. Oh, wait, I got one. I got a Norway one. Yeah.

Because I was just there, so I know. Ufta is not using a cheese slicer on your brown cheese that they have in Norway. I forgot what it's called. You were really excited to jump in and it fell apart. There's a couple of Norwegians who are cracking up right now. Oofta. Hey, the last one. Oofta is not being Norwegian.

Oh, I'm Oofta. I'm Oofta. All right, now here's a bag of Raisin Bran. Yeah, I was going to say, why does it look like raisin bran it's cinnamon toast crunch it's just cinnamon sugar chips okay you know what it smells like

yeah like fry oil it smells like the little chips at like a Chinese restaurant oh absolutely oh the little wonton chips oh oofta fucking rules pour it into my hand

oh god oofta rules it's the little wonton chips but they're it's funnel cake it's wonton chip plus funnel cake dude there ain't nothing oofta about this this is fucking oooofta rolls it's the little wonton chips but they're it's funnel cake it's wonton chip plus funnel cake dude there ain't nothing oofta about this this is fucking oofta this is good as shit it's literally like a little wonton chip covered in like perfect perfect granule sugar that's the

perfect snack and it also absolutely a million percent could be a cereal you could just put this in a bowl and pour milk on this it's a little fucking it's a little greasy but it's yeah it's definitely oily yeah uh this is great it's uh it's a 95 for me yeah wow i mean i love these chips minus the sugar it's literally just it's not too much sugar it's chinese food chinese food chips yeah you get the bag usually they're actually like this shape better because the only thing about those chips is they always make them like a fuck you shape for your mouth yeah they're gonna get stuck in your tooth it's like don't captain crunch me just give me the goddamn chips i love this taste why you make them shape so weird why you make me like the episode of these are just little like funky cheeses the justice pals or

whatever where crunk gets a nacho stuck in his tooth. That's what, just begging for that to happen. Hey, and you know what? This is a better version. That's rules. Getting the nacho chip stuck in your tooth, that's oofta. That's pretty oofta. Yo, 95.

Wow! Average score of 95. Nothing oofta about these guys. This might be one of the better snacks we've ever been sent. This is also a thing where... Mad at my friend in Norway who didn't bust these out when I was visiting.

They probably have a limited supply. That's the only real reason. You know what? Because it's for Norwegians only. You know, sometimes even stuff that's good, it's really rich, I could suck this whole bag down. These are so light. They're not overly sweet. I feel like you might hit a wall with

some of the oil. Some of the oil might It's mostly air. Some of the oil might start getting to you. But these ain't going to fill you up. You're eating crunchy air and sugar. These are from Norseland Left Sea. I don't know what it is. This rules.

It's a little gift that you can send. Norwegian Foods from Rushford, Minnesota. My kids would go ape shit for this. These are great. Hey, if you want to send us snacks, if maybe they'll be this good, you can. You can send them to Face Jam, care of Eric Bedore, 1901 East 51st Street, Austin, Texas, 78723.

Again, the like little wonton chip is what really makes it unique. But if it were more of a cereal, it's almost like a cinnamon toast crunch. It is, it's close. It literally is. It's a cinnamon toast crunch, but wonton. It's like bigger and thinner and just, yeah. It's like area. It's so good. cereal, it's almost like a cinnamon toast crunch. It is. It's close. It's a cinnamon toast crunch, but wonton. It's like bigger and thinner.

Yeah, it's like area. It's so good. It's really good. Damn, that's crap. That's lemons, eggs, crap. Oh, damn. We got to fix this egg situation. This is getting crazy.

Well, we're all in on lemons still. I know. I mean, lemons is fine, but I'm just saying. We got to find more ways for lemons to be used to cut down on eggs. In a time of bigness, I need eggs more than ever. Protein, straight protein. And breakfast shit. I don't like to eat breakfast.

It makes my tummy feel not good. But I can suck down an egg. Get some chicken. Don't lose your gum. And don't lose your gum. Don't lose your gum in the chicken soup. In the chicken soup. whatever In the chicken soup Chicken soup coop

Yeah Hey guess what Butterfly fork And butterfly spoon Uh huh And the monkey rug Uh huh Dude you took that cool picture

That That was a video No it was a picture Well sorry It was burst Yeah it was a burst It was about a minute long burst It was weird

You can go You can go watch that video Did you ADR that Yeah Go watch that video It was AI can go watch that video. Did you ADR that? Yeah. Go watch that video. It was AI. Hey, go watch that video at Face Jam Pod on Instagram and on Twitter. It ends so well where the rug is thrown at me and I legitimately hit the stop button

in my accident as Alfredo is saying something. It wasn't thrown at you. It was thrown at someone else. It really was. And then you took the hit. He just goes, there's only... And it just turns off as I whip the rug. Hey, Butterfly Fork, Butterfly Spoon set.

You buy them together. Butterfly Fork and Butterfly Spoon are on sale together. So you can't screw it up. Exactly. And the Monkey Rug are all on sale Thursday, March 2nd. We'll be doing a live stream at 11 a.m. Central Time on March 2nd for that release. At 11.10 a.m. is when everything goes on sale.

And that's when we get crazy. That's right. Do you want to talk about what we're doing on this live stream? I have no idea what we're doing. That's where the stuff comes out early and it's sold out. No, and we have more than five. Don't listen to him. No, and we have more than five.

Don't listen to him. So I found out about Utah sodas where people in Utah like don't drink coffee, but they go through drive- They can't drink coffee. That's right. It's against Christ or whatever. Newtonian law.

So what they have instead are like the way you drive through like a Starbucks, they have these drive-through shops called like Swig and like a bunch of other ones. Because nobody wants to miss out. You don't just not do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to replace that activity. So what you get is insanely barista sodas. Not like, oh, they're using a soda stream. No, no, no. They're using fountain sodas like Dr. Pepper and Sprite and then mixing them with flavored syrups and half and half.

So we're doing a live stream called Soda Jerks where Sauce Monkey Nick will be making us delicious sodas from the Swig menu, and we will be writing to let you know if you need this regional treat. Makes it sound like someone was sucking on it before you got it. It does.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, want a Swig? It definitely implies it's been shared. Swig and Swill. Well, i have a feeling when we all try dr pepper with coconut syrup and half and half that sounds great actually yeah so he's gonna nick's gonna make it i'll be faking that one this guy wouldn't drink hot sauce so i believe him in in quite honestly a nonsense in the canon of Face Jam law, a nonsense social post where the monkey was overruled

by some sort of random defector. Some sort of disembodied voice. Some defector. Yeah, when I deliberately gave 15 seconds of my 60 seconds for an answer for the monkey that came in after the clock, and you're going to tell me that doesn't count. What the fuck? He gave out the special,

the special sauce point. Not a point. Not a point. It's not a point. It's not a point. I don't remember. I didn't, wasn't the one doing lines.

Okay. I was just out there vibing, living free sword like an Eagle. You were, you were fucking chained down. You were like, you were like fucking Kronos wandering through the desert forever, carrying some fucking shit on your back.

I ate my son. You tried, you dumb piece of shit. It was a rock. You ate a fucking rock. You idiot. My teeth. Dry, dry, dry. Thursday, March 2nd, 11 a.m. Central Time,

Soda Jerk stream. Tune in. Watch the monkey fall on his roller skates. Oh, that's right. He's going to wear roller skates. I forgot about that part. Yeah, we're trying to get him. So it's going to be hard. I don't know if we his roller skates. Oh, that's right. He's going to wear roller skates. I forgot about that part. Yeah, we're trying to get him.

So it's going to be hard. I don't know if we have roller skates. And he also said he doesn't know how to do roller skates. So we're going to learn. What size shoe do you wear? Oh, good. At best, I think I can probably at least get you a pair of roller blades. Okay.

If he's on roller blades, it means he couldn't find skates. Well, I don't know. He's going to be grinding. Yeah. They're pink and purple. Oh, nice. I think. They're pretty cool looking. Oh, nice. I think. They're pretty cool looking.

You can also follow us at Face Jam Pod on Instagram and on Twitter to stay up to date with everything. Spitting Silly is out next week. And if you want to email us, you can. Face Jam Pod at RoosterTeeth.com with your food conundrums for food court. Yeah. We're running low. We haven't gotten any in a while. Oh, my God.

I think we got the most ever from the last episode. And I think what did it was the bows and Mac. I think that one being so kind of divisive really got people to be like, all right, I I'm excited to go over what I, what I appreciate thus far in the food conundrums is people will reference other conundrums. Yes.

But there's yet to kind of be an overwhelming thing where like oh six people wrote about this one thing yes you know what i mean it's usually like hey i heard about this and this reminded me of my weird yeah this weird it's not adjacent thing but not exactly the same like backpacking on one story aka what i'm saying is there's a lot of fucking freaks out there and it's just like every time a freak comes out, it inspires 10 more freaks to come forward. It's a stand up. Now, I don't know. On one hand, I don't know that every single story is good enough to like make an episode out of.

But on the other hand, if we had to, I'm sure we could. Even if it was just dunking on your shitty story. Right. We could stop taking submissions right now. And I think at the rate we do food court, we'd probably be good for like two years. Oh, 100%. I'm not kidding.

There's so many. We get dozens and dozens a week. And we don't do the show that much. We don't. We burn three and get 200. Yes, exactly. I'm not even exaggerating. The rate is definitely

fucking ass. We gotta do some kind of snack attack type. We do like a live stream purge or something. Yeah, yeah. I don't care about doing them all, but I care that there's gold in there. We're just not getting to. Drive through justice.

Food court. Speed round. Yeah. It's like night court. Yeah. Okay. Food court speed round. Yeah. It's like a, it's like night court. It's like a food court. I want the equivalent of getting married in Vegas, but doing court in Vegas. That's okay. Oh,

you don't really drive to your chapel. Yeah. It's like 50 bucks. You got 30 minutes to make your case to get the fuck out. It doesn't really mean anything, but shut the hell up. Shut up. Okay, that makes sense.

I like it. Jordan, why don't you take us out? How do you think that ad went that Shady Ray sent us? Remember that manufactured thing about me buying the glasses and all that? No, no, we're still recording. Do you think? No. I think they bought it.

No. Rate and subscribe and tell a friend about this show where we eat food and rate the food and our alarm clock goes off yeah he set it off time to wake up now that's okay it's island time it sounds like it's lunch margaritaville baby that it's over yeah all right get the fuck out i'm sick of you.