100% Eat - Take a Dipsy Doo with the Sauce Monkey %% Taco Palenque Pollo Asado Taco

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

Our Heroes let Nick make another pick and this time... we get the food. Jordan wanted cotija. The Sauce Monkey looms and runs off for his salsas and he's riding HIGH on this one. Anyway we check out Taco Palenque which is a real up and coming mexican food place in Texas. It's good? Time to clean up. New year, new merch (for you) https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to 100%E. The show where we try every fast with a restaurant to let you know if you need it, you probably do. I'm your host, Michael Jones. That's me. You can you recognize me. Alongside my co-host, Jordan Swares. Jordan, how are you?

You're Michael? That's me. I thought it was some guy with new brown hair. That's it. The three brunette bros right here, baby. Three guys. Oh, that's right. I'm all right, baby, yeah.

I didn't really even think about this way, though. It makes it look so much worse. Yeah, I was Blunted it When it was bleached When it was blueish I was bluished I was skating

I have some left Yeah Right right right We all We all I think independently Have told Michael All day Your hair's so fucking dark

It looks like you died It does It does It's definitely darker Because we were also Having the conversation Like but is it darker Or do we just not remember it?

It's darker It's definitely darker It's because I think it's because it's been hidden from the sun. There were times my hair gets real light. You were like borderline ginger

at some points. I wasn't, but people like to say it. Light brown isn't ginger. You're still brown. Pretty sure you were Irish. My beard gets red. I am Irish. My beard gets red.

But I don't have a beard, so. If I actually could grow one, it would be very dangerous. Nick, your hair, your beard gets red the same way my hair gets brown. It doesn't anymore. I'm trying to do that. I was trying to do the calculus on that.

Who's getting insulted? It's both. I just want to be real about it. Yeah. That was a real thinking man. I mean, it's not like I stayed on top of bleaching it. I would let it grow for a long time. You don't always see the roots.

It's not like I didn't know. But without. I haven't gotten it all chopped. Crazy. Without the bleach tips to like balance it out. It's like weird. There's the real reveal of like, oh, did my hair go to shit while I was bleaching it for like two and a half years?

And it's like, it's better? Yeah. There's more color? Yeah. It looks good. It looks good. It's a good haircut too. This guy can't stop winning.

He can't stop. I can't stop. He can't stop not having gray hair. I can't. I think the hair caught up to the workouts. I just didn't know. Yeah. Because that's when I first dyed my hair, but dye my hair since it's 20.

You get a new head, but then like the hair's got to catch up. Well, consider this. Go back to old Mikey and then you'll have cool dark hair for a while, you know, and then really. I can get back there. Give me another 15, 20 of those tacos. I could eat 15 or 20 more of those tacos I did some pull-ups Did you do your pull-ups?

Did you work it off? Not yet. Not yet. When are you gonna? We already started. At the end of the Bepisode. He's going to shoot hoops. Are you going to shoot hoops?

Not today. He can't. Now, can't he ate. Oh, he ate the case. And there's king cake downstairs. There's a king. Lindsay brought king cake. And some other shit.

And also. It was like a joint Marty Grau, Lunar New Year. It was leftover Marty Ra, but then Lunar New Year, they brought moon cakes. Oh.

And also, I think, $5. In red envelopes. Yeah, it's like, you have to have to, this whole thing. He's very excited to eat it on the Michael Jordan podcast. Sure, we can do it. Okay, so he's definitely not working out or playing basketball. He's going to go home and scream. He might eat a couple of mooncakes.

Here's what's going on. He's riding too high right now. Oh, I'm so high. Here's the problem. He's always writing this high. But he might have a reason. He might have a reason. And that's maybe worse than anything.

And is it is the reason because we went to Taco Palenke? Is that you pronounce it? And had the Pollo Asado Taco. Yep. We did have that. And it's Asado. Yeah. It is Asado.

They got to agree. If it's poya, it's Asada. See, I know none of this. Ipa. Nunca. So this is a chain. I think it's mainly in Texas. Hell yeah, baby.

That's right. Actually not. No, that's, I mean, it's just. How hyper localized does this place? Because I had never. Guess where I bought this? Vap shop. That's the only reason I bought it.

It looked like a decoration of just shit. There was no price tags. It's a vape shop. It was for sale. And the guy working there was like, I have no idea. He looked around and went, it's a vape liquor store.

Like it's two and you walk in between me but one guy owns it. The owner is usually on the side. And I was like, oh, I walked over the other side. I was like, yeah. And I went back and I'm like, he said they are. And he's like, oh, cool. brought him back over and bought them.

But I was just like, yeah, a little rock at the vape shop. Hell yeah. For a fresh new haircut and a dye job, I dyed the shit out of it. Just for men. That's, no one can tell. Finally, no one can tell. It looks like good quality. It looks so dark.

You're talking about going to a vape shop. We almost went to the Copenhagen furniture store that also is, Nick was excited because the Chew. Copenhagen Chew get a fucking. He didn't say it like that. Yeah. He was screaming about. about getting a lip in.

It was fucked up, dude. Let me get my cup. Well, he wanted to do a donkey do. Yeah. This guy. This fucking guy. This fucking guy. I had no memory.

He doesn't remember. He turned off. He was just in sauce mode. Yeah. It's true. In the truest form. Because he was riding high. He was riding high in an actual authentic way.

Yes. Not the like defiant kind of like against all. odds against what everyone is telling him. He kind of was before we got in the building. And then it became real. And now he's out of control. Right. Now it's not a, oh, Nick screwed it up.

He goes, no, it's good. It's a, oh, Nick, I think did a good job. And Nick's like, wee. Right. And then it will never happen again. That's not true. So last time we had a Nick pick. It was Margo's pizza.

Which was last week. Last week. Yeah, all the way a week ago. Uh-huh. And it got all fucked up. It was still good. It was still fine. Right.

It was still better. But they were the problem. process of discontinuing. Right. We, it wasn't discontinued yet. We didn't get it. Yeah.

But it was discontinued. We also don't know why. So this week, Nick always lists foods in our new food slack where he's just like, here's one, here's one. Keep an eye. Yeah, but sometimes it's just like,

it's like an ice cream. Slow, slowish point. It is. There's a whole lot of shit. It's because it's lent. And so it's fish. Everything's fish right now. We had talked about,

hey, there should be like another poll soon. And I said, yes, as soon as we're done with this, everything is fish right now. I'm not eating fish. No. So Nick was like Taco Polenke. Okay, cool.

Let's do that. So we go and we try to order on the fucking screen. Oh yeah. It wasn't an official start. We went to every category, every subcategory, every piece and part. I'm pretty sure to do. And I wasn't rushing you. The commitment of not talk to a human.

Oh, yeah. Wanted to just do that. We go through everything. The Pollo Asato Taco is not on there. And we know they have it. Yeah. And so fall over the goddamn. I bail and I'm just waiting to talk to the guy

so I can just order and Michael keeps going through and he's like oh here it is it must be on the impossible menu because it's fucking impossible to find here. Well I said oh it's under impossible and Eric went well I was so excited immediately fell I was like you fell for it yeah I was so upset and he went

that was so upset well because he was standing there too and he's like I'll just I'll just order it in person I'm a fucking guy and after that guy walked by him the 97th time I went will you will you and right he was right before the

guy came over to actually like take his order. He was just like, I need to get off the thing. Yeah. Because he's like, dude, you're scaring them away. Yeah, the guy will not come over. So he came over. True. We ordered.

We got, quick aside real quick. Do they actually have it impossible? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This bodes well. Yeah. You should check it out.

You go to all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a really good, like, vegan Mexican restaurant that does tacos and stuff that is like actually, like, some of the closest, like, recreation to, like, recreation to, like, the Mexican food. We're used to. Yeah. From back home.

You know about that? Of course. Yeah. But this. He thinks he does. That's the crazy point. He's like, yeah, guys, all of us. San Antonio's similar.

Anyway. Anyway. It's a little simple. It is. But yeah, it bodes well to have another like option. So we ordered the poissada tacos. But Michael was looking at the whole menu and then it was like we should get like the fajita.

There was like fajita and sirloin and then it was like which one's more expensive. I was curious about like it was like 30 cents more. Yeah, because looking at the menu, it did seem like a little more, it was less Tex-Mex and more, more traditional Mexican food. I was like, maybe we should just get like a regular taco so we can like get a baseline. Compare and contrast. Yeah, yeah. See what the regular styles are.

And then we also got the large queso, the eight-ounce queso, which you were like this. You were like four or four or eight. And I was like, like, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. I think it was at that moment the second you cleared that, then he took off. Yeah. Because you were still looking at it, but all of a sudden he was a gray dusky outline and he was gone. Like he's like, I didn't run anywhere. He didn't walk.

No, I sauntered. Go look at the pictures of Nick looking like. Bigfoot. Next to the sod. Fucking crazy. The first picture only is like, you caught me and then every picture after is like, come on in, come in, sit down, come in.

Show you around. When you order here, they give you a few like little brown bags and the guys like, oh, here for like your salsa and your chips. And they have like back home. just the mound of chips and then like eight different salsas and like your onions and peppers and all that stuff.

What I imagine Taco Cabanor used to be? I've been hearing that. Before they changed it to two sauces at the salsa bar. Yeah, they fucked up. So this had all the sauces. Ride the high. I went over to fill up chips.

As this is happening, Nick is at the salsa bar. Yeah, and I went to Jordan. Yes. You were by yourself. You sat over there and I went over not to try to talk to. Nick.

Didn't want to interact. Just wanted to get my chips. I want to try once salsa. Yeah, no shit. Are you sure about that? Nick, like... This one's got three peppers. In fast forward and just going,

Eric, look, look, they have it all. They have it all. There's a, this was Tio, and this one's red. This one says spicy. This one's avocado. This one's roasted. This one's roasted.

This one's, look, they have peppers in the back. Oh, there's onions, and you can just get as much as you want. And he starts... And he's just fucking filling these things up. The table is pretty far away from where you're out.

And this is like, I didn't hear any of this either. It was talking to you. So I finally go over it because I had my bag. I was like, I'm going to go get my chips. I walk up. You're there with your bag. A single cup. He's got one.

Nick has seven in front of everybody. Right. But so what I said is true. There's like seven all over. I walk up and he turns out of me. He goes, get me out of here. And I was like, why, what's going on? He's like, hit him.

Right before you walked over? Just everything and nothing. Right before you walked over, Nick went. I'm getting more and we can do a dipsy do. Eric, we can do a dipsy do. And then I brought that up on the drive back and he went, I never said that. I didn't say that.

What are you talking about? You guys switched places basically. I was just sitting at a table and Eric came and sat down and he goes, that guy's insane. He's talking about doing a dipsy do. And I'm just like, I'm just like, I was excited to share with my friends.

Oh, that was also why. So none of the tacos, they come with nothing on it, right? Because the bar is there, but even cheese. So we just got. the whatever the poyo as a come

which is just the chicken but for the sirline we're like we should get steak or we should get cheese we get cheese and we were talking before he ordered

you were like oh they have Cotea when we were still trying to fucking order on the screen and you can see all the cheese they had so we abandoned that he's ordering

whatever he's placing that and he he mentions it and I'm like oh and cheese he goes oh can I get cheese on that and the guy doesn't ask

he just puts it on there and I go Jordan wanted Cotea and he said I don't remember exactly you went, I don't care. At that point, I do not care. I do not care.

I was standing. All I heard, Cotilla. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, cool, they're getting it. Yeah, and he went, I do not care. Because it was right after him going, eight, eight, eight, and then later, yeah, he went, oh, because of him. He's dressed right there. You don't like

when we hesitate? You don't like when we answer? It is, it is insane. Which do you want? What do you want? Do you want hesitation? It's looming. You want answer? You want solid answer? It's looming. It's so crazy. Ocho, Ocho.

It's not looming. Looming is still like in the back. Yeah. That is true. It's encroaching. It's encroaching. It is encroaching. He like had you back to a corner.

It was on the line. It was back to you into a quarter level and you weren't even in a corner. No. I got back in time. There was no escape. Then he was gone getting sauces. It was gone. We, I went back and sat down with Jordan and we just had like one little sauce

and like the chips and we're like, oh, we'll give these a try or whatever. We both ate one and just went, oh shit. Great chips. Those chips, they're really good. They're like lightly salted. Didn't need anything on them. It's all in the fry and the thickness. They're good.

They're good thick. Sometimes they're like Tex-Mex restaurants around here. They'll do thick and they sell. Oh, God, and you can't bite through them. Yeah. They're hard. Yeah. These are like perfect.

I ate one chip and I was like, this bodes well for this restaurant. It was a good start. Michael got worried because he ate the chip, said it was good, and then it went, are my expectations too high? Right. It's like I might be about to let myself down. It's always a slippery slip with these places.

So good. Am I thinking this could be good food now? What is this? Hope? The chips were so good. Dude, I had to stop. I was just eating them in the rifle. Do we were just,

I stopped filling back. I stopped because the microphone. Yeah. I was like, all right, I got to stop. Talking about the sauce. He did come over and like smog style spread out his his bountiful harvest Right, but then I did I was trying all of them with yeah Nick and There was an interaction that was very Nick like which which was you tried just the regular like red sauce

The salsa it was too watery and you were like oh it looks pretty watery and then you try it you go ooh That's good the flavor's good the flavor's good and I tried it and I was like Nick this sucks It's like way too water He goes, no but the flavor's good If it wasn't water it'd be good I agree If it were different It would be different

I walked in on this part of the conversation So I was getting mad at him You fled to sauce bar Yeah if they changed every ingredient Maybe it'd be different I don't know You were comparing it to something like that You're like if this restaurant

wasn't this restaurant They didn't make the restaurant Right he was being wrong He were being wrong I walked in on you being wrong You fled from the bar Nick was just finishing up there And I just took my time, I got my chips

You're getting all your chips I got I feel chips to the top Enjoying some piece and quiet I was very quiet And I three saw I was like One scoop I came back And then I sat down

Dude like he was like a baby And a high chip Where he had just shit And he's like Like that's what it made me think Of Nick's laughing Because he knows it's true He's like I did look like that

He was trying He was trying He's like I have my nummies I have my nummies It's what he was doing Like The other restaurant we went to where you got the, was it, Fridays?

And you got all the ones and you were like, oh, yeah. And then they'd like, and then they kissed. So I walked over there and I had the sauces and I was like, I was like, oh, I meant, and Nick's like, I got sauce, I got sauce. I went, right, I got some of my own assuming,

you know, those were all for years. So I just wanted to make sure I got to try the sauce. It's always a safe assumption. It's like, oh, it's for everyone. And they're all in front of him. Yeah. Everyone. And then I reach it and he goes, no.

Right. Right. They're for everyone. You get one bite of sauce person. Try it. Yeah, try it. Don't turn into his fucking father-in-law. What do you think?

What do you think the best salsa was? The roasted. The roasted was really good. I agree. There was one that was really spicy. The spicy one was really good on that beef. Oh, I like that light one, the green one. The tomato.

Tottomitio and the roasted. The roasted one was the best. That was my favorite. The avocado salsa was like okay, but it kind of, it just wore out its welcome. Like, it just didn't really work on any of the food. I really enjoyed it when I had it initially. At the beginning. Yeah.

And then it was, it was the last one I had. I put it on like the last bite of my fajita. Yeah. And I was like, I wasted that. I wasted that last bite. But like, great options, expensive. Yeah. For the casso, eight tacos.

I was looking at the menu. The, the, they had a Matamoros combo. Yeah. Which is just like, they don't even, they don't even fold the taco. But it was like two tacos and it was a combo. So like maybe you get a side in a drink. That's 13. 39 or something.

Yeah, they... That's expensive for... We stuffed them, though. We paid about 50 bucks. They were very stuffed tacos. They were pretty full. Full of meat. And it's just the meat.

There's nothing else on them. Yeah. And I don't know. It was a lot of chicken. I don't know if that's a... The tortilla was fucking good. Good. That was a good tortilla.

I don't know if, like, if I were to order that, I would expect it to at least come with like onions and cilantro. Yeah, I think they just expect you to dress it yourself. Yeah. I think that's just what it is. Did they have that stuff at the salsa bar? There were, yeah, there were chopped onions and stuff.

See, I missed the onions when I was there. There were pickled onions and chopped onions. I wasn't there. I didn't get the like the walkthrough. The walk through, the house tour. I needed it. I needed it. He can give you the house tour.

And I didn't get it. Show you the first, second third thing. Yeah. None of it was a metaphor. I like a fool just went over and got sauce. Oh, you fool. Because I would have got. I would have got in.

You should have talked at me. You should have talked at me. I had to finish the conversation with him. He left. Nick, Nick from the, from the conversation. Hey, we're not done yet! We're not done yet! I'm not through with you, not by a long shot!

And then five minutes later, I don't remember that. Don't walk away from me. I didn't say any of them. I didn't say Dipsy-Doo. I did not say Dipsy-Doo. You saying I didn't say that is your most gracey mode. Yeah. What are you talking about?

I might have said it. Let's take for a second say you didn't say. So you just made it up. You? You? Not only are you saying Nick said it, but that means you invented Dipsy-Doo and implanted it. All I heard, hey, me, Eric, the Dipsy-Doo guy. All I heard on the walk, all I heard, all I heard on the walk back from the car is where's your whimsy?

That's all this motherfucker said to me. Next defense was like, where's your whimsy. I'm just being whimsy. So, Dipsy-Doo, if it had to come from one of us. Oh, you're whimsical guy. You have whimsy- Look at this guy, Childlike Wonder. You're just describing Chris DeMaris.

I don't know if Eric has dipsy-do-wimsy. I don't agree with that. Dipsy-Doo-Wimsy. I don't know that Chris, Child-like Wonder, I don't know that he's self-aware enough to have winsy. No, I don't think. He's not a whimsical guy.

You need to know that this is whimsical and not just like, is this not normal? Yeah. You know? Everybody does this. You know what I mean? Whimsy? Tuesday?

Yeah. No, Wednesday. Oh. You guys, you guys, you guys grow up with a pig unicorn? Yeah, you got one of those? What are you talking about? Sounds good. That guy can't have Wednesday.

Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988. Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada.

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and contact Desjardin today. We'd love to talk. Business. Hey, you guys want to learn about Taco Palinca? Because you guys don't know shit about it. I'm actually quite interested to learn a thing. Let's see how he fucks this up. Well, the first one's from their website.

Right, so that might be a good one. Then it's going to be like fart facts. Right. What? How'd you know? Fart facts. You read ahead. When Don Pancho

Great name. Pancho? Probably. I don't know. When Don Pancho moved to the United States, he saw that authentic Mexican food wasn't easy to find. As a passionate cook and natural host, he set out to change that. With his heritage and culinary skill,

he created Taco Polanke, serving fresh ingredients and the traditional flavors of Mexico. Fun fact taken from Taco Polankanke website. Move aside Pancho Villa. Yeah. Don Pancho is here. It launched in the mid-80s, Wow.

Out of like Laredo. Never heard of Loretto. Oh my God. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So he didn't make it very far into the country. No, he just before he was like He went, he went,

there's no Mexican food around here. He was like, and I'll put down my bags. I took one step across. I got a store restaurant. That's pretty good. If anyone's confused about what we're talking about, look up Laredo on a map. Check out where it's at.

Next fact. Seeing success in the U.S., us, Taco Blenke expanded into Mexico, hoping to stand out where others, like Taco Bell, failed. It worked, and you can go to Taco Polenke in Monterey. Yeah, Monterey Mexico, where it's in between the KFC and Tim Hortons. We're not even sure if Mexico needs to pay for that wall now. We still talking about that? Any motion on building that wall? Where are we at?

Dude, I went to Mexico City 20, late 2024. The most jarring thing is like driving down the street and seeing a Popeyes. Oh, yeah. That was so weird. They, like, I'm saying they like as a nation. We take this stuff up here too.

This cross-brane globalization shit is so crazy. When I looked up, I'm like, wow, it's really in Monterey, Mexico. Where is it? It is legitimately in a strip mall between a KFC and a Tim Hortons. The Tim Hortons is crazy. That's nuts. But it's pretty cool. You get all three of the like, you know.

Wow. You get Canada, Mexico, and the U.S. Wow. Conca Calfe all the way. I just like it did you of like, we expanded into Mexico. Well, he walked back across the river and he went, where's all the Mexican food? Yeah. There's no Mexican food here.

He just keeps hanging out right on the board in Laredo. He watches it in Nuevo Laredo and he's like, What is this place? We're like old Laredo. After 20 years of success, Don Pancho launched Palenke Grill in 2005, the full-service restaurant, which features live music and higher-end food, was a brought to life in the hopes that you are in Brownsville or Corpus

for a three-day weekend. and they need a place to take your in-laws for a dinner so you can check that box and kind of get on with your life. But it was likely the highlight of their year because they got a Corona Rito and watched it and watched someone do a traditional Mexican hat dance. Plus your mother-in-law got to speak a little Spanish to him. Peggy Hill style. Buenos no-chaise dipships. That was a... That was one sentence.

That was just a problem. That was just a problem. I just started writing the word to start. Not. I reached up to the clouds and I brought it down. It was easy to let them flow, but hard to pull them back. Pull them off the paper. That's all that strikes me as.

Being in Corpus and Brownsville is like this is a place. Yeah. And I think there's a few other ones that are like in like other other shitty Texas towns that you don't want to go to. Yeah. Next to a Margaritaville. Yeah. You go there or a BJ's.

You know what I mean? Like it's that kind of a thing. It's where your mother-in-law is. Your mother-in-law will make your father-in-law wear a collared shirt. Yeah. You got to dress nice. Yeah. We're going out.

But he's not going to wear a collar shirt. He's just going to wear his new Harley Davidson shirt. I'll wear my collard shirt, but I am wearing my shorts and sand. That is exactly what it is. I'm on vacation. Yeah, yeah. In corpus? I'm not going to wear a collard, but I'll wear buttons.

Yep. There you go. That works. I'll have nice pants. I'll wear my nice sneakers. Yeah. You can get away. That's a good look.

Oh, I know. That's why I wear it because I can get away with it. You should go like a girl. Fucking shirt like this skin like this I can get away with anything hair like that all right Palinquet Grill baby here we come I'm like we gotta bring this to the States Yeah you're in the States yeah

We gotta bring this down to Mexico Where's the Tim Horton? Have you guys been way up Yeah yeah think about it I hear they're building a bridge maybe Maybe it's only if you're good Yeah Well beach at hockey Maybe we'll open it now

not so hot anymore Cash Patel's working on At least he's working on something Right I saw I saw him fucking party in the locker You're not a fucking dork bitch So they got They got Nancy Guthrie

Oh my god He's working on those tall shoes We're not getting a pair of those The ones that Jeremy And I don't remember what they're called They're like three in shoes He's so small Fuck yeah

Oh yeah And I feel like he wears big clothes He does too Yours Papa's close. But like, Papa's clothes makes you look even smaller. Yep. If everything fits you and then it's fine. You look like small guy in Papa's clothes.

Yeah, you're a Papa's close. It's so crazy. Yep. As the San Antonio Spurs, by the way, Nick was screaming about it. This is how Nick found out about it. That's how I found out. It's how it's commercials. They also had like a Spurs combo.

We saw it 150 times. We were trying to fight the food that wasn't on the iPad. We couldn't it on there. We kept looking at the San Antonio Creature. He's dunking a basketball. It was in there. The San Antonio Spurs were in there. there, but anyway.

Wemby said try it. He did, he whispered. As the San Antonio Spurs official, fresh Mexican partner since 2024, not very long, Taco Palenke has collaborated with the team in producing memorable, co-branded elements

throughout their partnership, such as a commemorative Spurs Coyote Keepsake Cup. Oh, we got one. Free Taco coupons. Now we know why Nick picked this goal. He might secretly be the San Antonio Spurs mascot. Have you seen that freak?

Sauce Monkey wants, the commemorative cup and he wants to take the throne from the spurs creature and keep the coupons for himself. You come for the creature crown. You best not miss. Hashtag go Spurs Go. Have you seen? I'm reading sports talk. Yeah, it's good work.

This is good for our sports talk. John, what was it, John Trow in the monkey? Sauce Monkey wants the commemorative cup and he wants to take the throne from the spurs creature and keep the coupons. bonds for himself. You come for the creature crown. You best not miss. That's some guy. That was pretty good. Some guy. Yeah. It's very Howard Kosal. Yes. Have you seen the San Antonio Spurs creature and he dresses like Batman and catches a bat? No. He, whenever, I've seen Batman. That's close. That's sort of what this is. I've seen a bat.

Have you seen Wiley Coyote? That is the creature. Oh, it is why? I was like, why is it Why he looks like he's on fucking acid. He's got green eye. He's on acid. He looks fucking crazy. He might be Nick. He's not hot. He's not high.

He's like tripping. Right. Like he's, that's how he looks all the time. Oh, shit. That's him. That's how Nick acts all the time. Yes.

It's all that. I'm from there. He's talking about the suit. That's my hope. He's talking about the mascots. Can you show him dressed as Batman? Yeah, let me see if I can fight it. Man.

Yeah, you know, because it's, this part of Texas. There's bats that get in. And so it happens frequently enough. They have a full costume for this creature. To dress up like Batman to get a net to catch a bat at the stadium during a basketball. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

So they don't have Moni Genobley on the team anymore. So like he's like smack. He used to smack them. Yep. Why don't you do that? It's actually not a great idea. Yeah. Yeah.

And it seems rude. Yeah. Rude to the bat. Do not be rude to the bad. rude to the bat. Yeah. I went to Alamo two days ago and there was an armadillo there.

Whoa. Was the speed bump? I heard they didn't show him at the game. Nobody ran it over. There was no speed bump at the Austin. I heard they didn't bring him out at the game. That's why we don't go in. It was funny.

We were walking up the steps because this is that Mueller. And it was taking the kids to see goat. And there's this woman at the top of the stairs. She turns around. Wasn't a Karen like, but in a Karen like moment, she was just like, sir! to the guy at the front she's like there's an armadillo here

and I was like what? Iris literally goes What? Was there really an armadilla? And she's like Was it just somebody had an arm? What literally turns around?

There's two people standing there like yeah lady it's a thing. Like the armadillo handlers are standing right there. Oh it's something something whatever. And you know hey kids want to pet the fucking but it's not like a signage. It's just walking around on the floor. And then she was like oh I didn't know. I thought it got it.

and went upstairs? Yeah. Yeah. He's holding his ticket and his validated parking and he's going up the stairs. I got a seen Nirvana the band to show the movie. So it was cool. I'm doing a double feature. Who is a goat?

We're taking the kids to see goat and they got to pet an armadillo on the way in. That's awesome. They're like, yeah, you can pet him. I was like, that's cool. That's really cool. And then, dude, I'll say this. Here's the crazy. Here's yesterday.

So I went to the movies again the next day and that's why I went with Alfredo. I split up my family time. And, dude, we're walking in. And, you know, they set up shit outside the theater sometimes. Like the Girl Scout cookies were there. Oh, yeah. On the other side of that. We're walking in.

Dude, what a line. I was just speechless. I said nothing. And I'm like, we're walking in, right as we get to the door. And also true, especially for Alfredo, the guy is shredded to heavens now. Yeah. This woman goes, she's like, hey, I know a couple of strong guys like you can support women's rights. Do you have a second?

And he's just like, I was like, I'm not saying no. He's like, no kid. And he goes, he's like, we're going to the movie. Like the movies right now. Will you be here when we go back? She's like, okay, we walk in. And I'm like, dude, that's how you get people like, hey, you hate women. Yeah.

And then I go, we gotta go on the way out. He's like, we have to go on the way out. Then she was gone on the way out. And I was like, not be the only thing we hate women. Oh, no. Hey, a couple strong guys like you support, you can, you can lift up women's voices, can't you? Or something like that.

And I was like, holy shit, that's such a. good lines. Baby lady, donate the guys walking into the movie theater. It's like a time thing. There's bad places. It's like a time thing.

I would have been like, do we remember what it was? Let's make a donation. Nothing. I went, damn. I'm not answering. I have no good answer. It's a movie.

Yep. That's just like, oh yeah, you're good. And I was just like, damn, dude. Holy shit. That's pretty good. Don't talk to me

the movie. Last fact. That was actually the last fact. That's weird. Setting up shop with the Spurs was only the first step, as Taco Polanke announced last year, they are setting up a nearly 60,000 square foot central kitchen in San Antonio to do all their meal prep, eliminating any need for scratch cooking in store.

Thank God we can finally make this place a this used to be better 20 years ago thing, so Nick can get hyped for it when we're car captives trapped in a moving vehicle with a monkey and a memory. Both of you going. days ago. Wow. Hey, Jordan, he found this crazy place. I was just saying,

they don't have to make anything anymore. We were talking about how big the kitchen is and like there's a lot of people moving. We literally were. We're like, man, that place is really cool inside. They had a really big sauce bar and so much of it is not the dining room. It's like the establishment.

Yeah. Never mind. Nick brought up how they let. Oh, yeah, they made all that stuff there and I went, we'll learn more about that in the fact section. Oh, that's what you meant. Yeah. He thought you were to mean something good.

There's going to be good news in the faction. Nick, this is going to actually make what you like better, I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, not only that's what companies do, but that's what Eric does. He uplift you. Like women's voices. No, he doesn't? With his whimsy.

You know that. Sorry, I'm going to see a movie. It's called lady puncher. Out now. The first thing that's going to start sucking when they do this is the chips. Chips. And the tortillas, too. That'll be the bellwether.

Such a passionate scream. That'll be the canary in the cold. It could so easily cut off. Oh yeah Yeah No too You're right The guy has no

There's so many Knicks Fighting to get out at once It's like something It's not like It's not like DID Right DID

Is that what this associative I did? Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah It's all the same guy Yeah There's just like six of them Yeah There's all the same identity

You ever see that show United States of Tara Yeah yeah yeah It would just It would just be like that if it was just like Nick, but he's not changing

personalities. They're just all coming out at the same time. Ununited knicks of terror. Yeah. It's him fighting over, it's like gently the one

is what it is. Yeah, there you go. Fighting over himself to get the top. So whoever gets the top can scream, chips, chips! Even though every guy's

going to scream. Every guy's going to scream chips, but they're still fighting for no reason. It would be a, I want to scream. It would be a

multiple Michael Keaton situation where he keeps cloning himself and he's different each time. Yeah. But every time Nick clones himself, it's just the same guy until eventually there's six of them in the garage going, chips all together. And then they go get the chips all together. Then it's like the prestige. Yeah, that's right.

Every time Nick. Well, but they're a lot, but they're alive. They can't die. They're stuck in the water. Yelp cage. See, chips. The initial. The initial thing is like the drama is they're all fighting each other.

Even though yelling chips or yelling chips at each other or I want to be the chips. Then singularity happens and it becomes, Whoa, they do it in, well they do it in not even like hive mind. It's not in unison. It's staggered perfectly and then they go talk to Erica. So it's like,

the one's feeling every other one's feeling everyone's single breath and it's not talking over. We can't do. Yeah. Dip-Di-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-0. You do. You turn around to leave, there's another one. Dipsy-Doo. They all have their backster and they turn to me and they go, we are chips.

Yeah. For we are many. We are dips. We are the salsas at the salsa bar. For we are many. They're all Nick. I was like, well, we're all Nick. It's like, I'll be avocado.

They would all be getting all the salsa so they could all have it for everyone. Imagine six Nicks getting sauces to share. There'd be like 100 because they would all get. Even though Nick knows they're all Nicks. You don't need to get in the share. They're going to get their own. They're all saying. At the same time,

I got enough for a lot. It's like pluribus, but they're all Nick. I think again, I appreciate it. All we want to do is make sure you have enough sauce. Carol, we just want you to have enough sauce. Incredible. Several Nicks not as a hive mind would be incredible. All independently functioning, but staggering and encouraging each other.

It's just like, Building off, yeah. It's exponential. I was so sure for this Nick pick again, it was going to be a miss where it was going to be a Taco Cabana situation. Just a simple,

ha. Like a fucking cartoon villain. Ha! You fool. I invested you again. It's just a picture of him with a speech bubble that says, Ha!

Ha! Nick, Nick now it has for a long time. But now it treats this show like a guy watching TV at home and he just says things as it happens even though he's here in the room and on the show with us but like he's done it for long

that's what he does he reacts to everything and it doesn't matter in that regard it doesn't have to make sense when you're saying Nick doesn't make sense is because you're thinking of the concept of he's here alive and a human who can communicate with us that's to him we're on a TV screen

and he's going that's wrong that's right he loves doing this show he just gets fed and then he gets to watch his favorite show Oh. Ha! Boy, that guy's in for a room. We're here.

Oh, my God. I really thought this was going to be a Taco Cabana-style mist where it's just like, oh, this is fucked. And he mentioned it about 10 times. Turns out. Monkey burger style. We went back in time. Yeah, it was good. It was good.

Here's what happened. Here's what happened earlier tonight. I'm not even a huge, like, like, authentic taco place, taco person, right? I like my white people tacos. Yeah. This place was good. Yeah. this morning. What slop are we eating today?

And I said it's a Nick Pick redo. And it was the, uh, the, this taco. Yeah. And just, oh boy. And then Nick immediately wrote, oh shit, you're welcome. Right. Oh shit. Oh, you're welcome. Might want to save those your welcomes until we eat the food. It looks weird. And then Jordan's saying, I've never heard of this place. Could be a disaster.

Nick immediately. I've never had it. We were like, excellent. Great. And I've heard good things. I've never had it. Never had it. He's heard of the things. From a guy in San Antonio. And you went, was it so-and-so?

I'm not saying. I'm not saying. I'm not saying. They are a proud sponsor of the San Antonio Spurs. Nick was saying it's every commercial break. Yeah. Taco Polenke, man.

I never have them. And I don't play basketball. They're expanding. I think Taco Polenke is expanding like crazy. Because they were building their own 60,000 square foot. They never have to make it. fucking zero in Austin like six months ago. No way.

And now it's like that Taco Plankay is new. The Round Rock one is new. The one we went to used to be the Boston market. It was the Boston market there went to. There's another one up like Cedar Park. I think they're like they're all over like the outskirts of Austin. There were none like a year ago, six months ago. They were not there.

Wow. And then they're all going to sucks in. Yeah. Well, it's all happening fast. Yeah. There were none. No, they're everywhere. There's speed running this.

Yeah. They're doing 20 years and fucking. Yeah, the, uh, that queso. Koso was the last minute pull of like, what's the other thing that we want to get? That caseo was so thick. Yeah. That is the thick as cheese.

It's really good flavor for Koso that thick. Yeah, it's usually caseo that thick as a hallmark of like, it's just really bland. Yeah. It's usually just like, it is a block of cheese. It's a velvet. It's a block of cheese and how it is melted cheese. Yeah.

And I'm eating cheese and I still like it because it's cheese. But it had, that's the most flavorful thick peso I ever had. Oh, it's great for those chips. To me. It looked like... It looked not great. Yes. It looked like a place

that doesn't want to make queso, but is expected to? It does. It's like if Wiener Shinssel had Koso. It was like if Wiener Shinssel had Koso, that's what they were, they're like, I don't know, I don't expect Wiener Schnitzel to make Koso.

In fact, I would prefer if they didn't. It's like, we put peppers or whatever. You guys can still, guys, you need to work on the hot dogs. Yeah, yeah. That's the best part. We put the hot dogs in the case. Yeah, exactly.

You haven't perfected that part. You have to work on your food first. It was really good. But it is like clogging your arteries thing. It's like blood. I would say, I would say you don't need it. You don't. You don't need it.

This can be a way lighter meal if you don't, if you don't know that way with it. But we had to try it to know. Okay, while watching a TV. He's watching TV. That's true. That's true. Yeah.

It's great. Wow, he's right. Yep. Where are my gloves? Come on, heat. Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm. Tap the banner to order your groceries online at walla.ca.

Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. Jordan, you want to tell them about what we ate? I'd love to. Dude, that was paper on paper violence. We got the Taco Polonke Pollo Asato Taco, Fire-Griled Chicken, marinated with their signature seasoning and cooked to perfection for a juicy flavor,

served on a freshly made tortilla. And that's it. That's all it is. You want whatever you want. Do it yourself. You can eat you can pay to add shit like cheese or like sour cream or whatever. What kind of cheese? I do not care.

I do not care. You figured out. Yeah. We did figure it out. And it was. It was a lot. He just didn't do it. It was a lot of chicken in that taco.

Yeah, I agree. There was a lot of chicken in that taco. They do not skimp on. Fuck, no. Loading up the taco. Which is great. It's like a decent size. And so,

What I'll say too, when I was like... It's not even like the small corn tortillas that you would get. Big flour. Looking at the picture you posted in the slack when I was like, it looks weird. Yeah. It looks weird because it's a shitty promotional photo. But it looked weird because it's like real chicken. Yeah.

That's what look weird about it. I'm like, this looks like shit. Because it doesn't look like a taco place. A processed chicken. It looks like you took a fucking whole chicken and like cut a bunch of strips. Yeah. And that's what's on the top. And boy, that's how it tastes.

And it's, there's a lot. Yeah. Like, it's packed on there. We, me and Jordan were talking about it a little bit where it is that kind of like taco shop back home kind of thing, but it reminded. And this was too much, this was too much nickbrained where I can't really like abide by it. Because I'm not really, I'm not really like beating the drum for like, man, El Pollo

loco used to be so good. But this was definitely like El Pollo Loco when it was like really kicking off. This is how El Pollo Loco was. Yeah. It was just, we. Flame grilled these chickens. We shredded these chickens. We threw what we shredded onto a tortilla.

Get the fuck out of here. Here's some butter. That's it. Go insane. Get out of here. Get out of your. Go insane. Yeah, yeah.

Go. This is yours somewhere else. This is yours. Go nuts somewhere else. Go loco elsewhere. And it was good. Here's the polloo. Go loco.

This definitely throws back to like a way simpler style of like Mexican food. We opened up the the poyo aside of taco and I was like, it smells like El Pollo Loco. Like it was like, I used to eat that a lot as a kid. Yep. Cheap. It's so cheap. It was cheap and it was like very close to my house and it just brought me back. Even closer to your heart. Not really. Yeah, that's the thing. I don't really have love for it. Yeah, not so much at the end. I'm like, I like, I like, I don't really have love for El Pollo Loco.

I see like El Pollo Rico here. Yeah. We got to try that. We got to try that. I think El Pollo Rico is a place we got to try. But then I never go. At some point, can you guys speak English? Because this is America. Sorry. Sorry. I just. You know, I was... Ever since the... Ever since the halftime. Yeah, you guys are kind of like...

You're like running with the trend and it's pissing me off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I was, uh... Stop saying poyo. I was just thinking about... Bad bunny. It's called... Bad bunny.

Crazy chicken. Crazy chicken. Crazy chicken. There was a TikTok of a guy going bad bunny. This is my impression of bad bunny if he was scared to meet Lady Gaga. And he's like, you know, no. I want me...

Zunera. Jaha. You give me that cheebers. 19%. I thought that was great. That was very good. Jordan, hit him with the press material.

All right. Here's what they say. Yep. Quote, we're proud to expand our partnership with the San Antonio Spurs and bring Taco Polenke

to the Frost Bank Center. Taco Polenke founder Juan Francisco, Don Pancho, Ochoa, said. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. In a media release. Bad money type names.

Fresh, authentic Mexican food is at the heart of what we do or the Corazon, as you will. and we're excited to share that experience with fans on game day. Well, I say Corathon, like, I do it Spanish. Oh, you're you doing Spain style. Yeah, yeah, I do, I do the worst version of Spanish you could funk and think of. I do the little, I do like the little, the, Bartholona.

Ugh, yuck. So when they, when they teamed up with the Spurs, this was the only press release they really had, they teamed up with the Spurs, they opened a spot inside the arena and you can get tacos, burritos, queso, and other stuff. But it's stadium food. It's going to be like the worst version of Taco Book. It's going to be the version we're going to get in like five years. Don't worry.

None of it was made from scratch. Don't worry. You're getting a preview of what you're going to get. You know, yeah. The stadium version is pre-made off-site and then hauled in. Soon that'll be. Oh, yeah. I'll get it.

He was cleaning up Marcus. Very clean in this house, by the way. It's very nice. Thank you very much. I mean, I like cleaning. Yeah. It's nice. You don't like cleaning when no one's my goddamn way to stop me.

That makes sense. That makes sense. And that's not just a personal life thing. That was my job for about 12 years. Just people in my fucking way. Waiting for everyone to leave and then cleaning up. Just not even bothering. Because it's not going to stay clean.

And you're in my goddamn way to clean it. And you're going to fuck it up. I definitely remember. Getting so mad where it's like it's pointless. I remember more than a few times. But then anybody else going like, this place is a chit hole. There's stuff here.

Fuck you. Who could that be? It was everyone. It was everyone. Someone come in and complain. There's stuff everywhere. Why is all this shit everywhere? I'm gonna fucking kill everyone in this room.

Like, I'll come in and I'll, like, you know, I don't want to trigger anyone. I'll shoot the place up. Yeah. But it'll be specific. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, he's got a gun. Don't worry.

I'm only going over here. Why is it messy? Oh, no. Dude, all of them had something. Yep. Of course, they all. Hey, don't worry. They still do.

Oh, don't know how to clean it. It hasn't changed. Oh, hey, we're doing like a thing or whatever. You know, we're opening packages. Oh, you just. Maybe don't throw it in the corner. Oh, why are you spilling shit? Oh, okay.

Oh, and then you're just sitting back down. You're going to get to it later? Okay. Hey, you know, get to it whenever you get you. Two days later. What's the fucking shit everywhere? What's this? Okay, I'm picking up.

That one's Jeff. Hey, Nick, something's never changed. Dude, the bass was coming, him coming in. Again, everyone did it. But he'd come in and be like, there's fucking coffee's fucking coffee. You left it there. A dude.

Yeah. Ray. Yeah. Yeah, you did. I sit here. I remember when you were there. You were drinking that coffee. You've been gone for nine days.

You left that cup there. Someone could fucking leave coffee on my desk. It's like, come in, shit on my desk. That's like, that's your fucking cup. That's your, now? You fucking put that there. You know what's on his death? Not only do you not clean it, you're mad about it.

Who fucking did this? You know what's on his- I was like, dude, you know, you got me. I have a sign-up sheet. People come in. I invite him to come to sit down. and drink coffee at your desk. His desk now,

sugar-free sodas and a porn magazine. Well, he's got to call that number. Who's pornos? Yeah, who left us here? Who's calling these numbers? Who's using my phone? Or like anything ever, the bookshelf was right next to his desk.

Shit on the bookshelf. What's that? You! Fuck you! You use it a shelf? You sit there. You can reach it. Hey.

Who fuck is this? This is a shield. Who left their coffee? Who said dipsy, dude? Hey! Who? Oh, yeah. You know what? Bernie walked in with a coffee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bookshelf. I thought he really got a fast on you. And then left the company. And it's been there since that day. What a hero. I was going to say, they were, I remember. Before he bought it back.

Yeah. I remember times like, early on at the old, old office. Any day, know. Where it'd be like late in the day. And like, you would be like the last one in the achievement hunter office. And I would come in and we would like just like shoot the shit for a little bit. And you were in their cleaning. because no one else would.

It's not even just like that it's when you had the opportunity to. It's not even like that no one would. There's so many layers to it. Right. Like I'm not that like I'm anal retentive or like you do it. It's just everything that you could fuck up, you fuck up.

Like you don't clean. You make messes. You complain about messes in the room. You're doing everything wrong. You're doing everything wrong. You don't know how to clean. It's like for fuck's sake. Picklay.

Like you're in my way stopping me from cleaning a thing that you're complaining about that you made, but you don't want to clean, and also you won't let me. Yep, I just like, so I just wouldn't. I just can't, I can't believe, I can't believe Jeremy would do that. Yeah. Here, Jeremy was probably the only other one who like kept his shit. Oh, that sounds, that sounds right.

That's definitely how he was. Yeah, Jeremy's on the ball. Because he was raised where it's like, you get your ass kicked. As a human? Yeah, as a human being, like, one, do it, because you should, and two, I'm knocking you around if you don't. Well, we have our review of Taco Polenke, but we need to hear from you in a segment we call you review.

I almost don't want to hear these one-star reviews because I'm like, I'm regarding them so highly. Well, you can see maybe they sway you, maybe they don't. Maybe these will sway what you ate. You know what, actually, now I don't like it. After reading what they had to say. I think the person who doesn't use punctuation has a point.

I think someone's angry in the last one. Hey, Jordan, I think you should hit the first one. All right, cool. Let's see what kind of landmines are in this one. This is from Teresa M. Zero landmines. Now here looks almost black. Yes.

It's really dark. Wish I could say something positive about the food, but with several employees working in this place, and only four customers to include myself, no one greeted me as I stood at the counter, and one lady employee stood there talking to another customer, which sounded like a personal conversation, never said a word to me like someone will be either.

You soon. The young man that came to register never made eye contact with me. he keep his head down like he was scared or something. He left the counter several times, but still never say, can I help you? Or hello, after standing there for a while, I just walked out. If your employees are that untrained to greet a customer, then guess I should not spend my money with you so unprofessional and rude for a food restaurant. It's unbelievable.

Why have a business if your employees are hired people that don't understand the concept of business? and making money no period one sentence no punctuation not the food did not

wish I could say something positive about the food they walked in and walked out wish I had something positive to say and it's like it writes that line too of like even if you went about this and said like hey I was waiting for 10 minutes

and no one took my order comes across so different as no one was greeting me yeah nobody would look at me No one looked at me and greeted me. Greet me when I walk it. Shut the fuck up. I like sounded like a personal conversation or they're friendly.

Also, you talking to a customer is what you said. It sounds like a personal conversation. Right. So it doesn't count. It's probably a customer. Maybe they're having the greetings that you're so looking for. Why are they giving it to him? Everyone's a person, aren't they?

Yeah. Oh. And I really like when the young man walked over and then he kept his eyes down like he was. scared. Walking around Taco Polanke. I was waving my gun around. I was waving my gun around.

Like, greet me! Right, but it was a knife. Yeah. Right. So that's the first one. Well, you're right. The no punctuation review did not sway me.

Yeah, that's weird. Okay, cool. Are you sure? Yeah. Did you, I, were we greeted? No one bowed. No, no. We weren't greeted. And also like, Eric was, yeah, Eric was. Yeah, Eric was ignored for a little. Yeah, but it looked like we were on the iPad.

Here's the thing. Yeah, it was, it looks like we're on the iPad. When Michael stopped playing on the iPad, well, no, no, they did. They came over right before I stopped. So I at least got that little victory. He's like, they're never going to come over if you don't know. Oh, they're here.

I was about to let go. Yep. All right, you hit this next one, Michael. You got this. This is from C-H-H. Yep. Pounder? Whoa.

Hello. I was just there in the drive-thru. Hi. He's talking to them. Hello. This is... It's like Nick watching his favorite show. Hello.

I was just there in the drive-thru. I wanted two tacos and a cassidia. The service was great. However, when I was pulling off, the young male in the drive-thru who handed me my food said a derogatory word as I pulled off very confidently. He didn't think I heard him, but I did.

Now that makes me feel as if something malicious was done to my food, as the term used for me shows me He has no respect for people who look like I do. Okay. Please train your staff to treat everyone with dignity and respect. In this day and age, there is no need for such behavior. That's crazy.

This is very interesting. That's the one you didn't want to read. That didn't say anything. Yo, he's, that, C.H. He said so much. If you don't read between the lines, he doesn't really say anything. I've never heard it so eloquently and calmly. It's true.

And like, and like, respectfully. But I did. Yeah. Uh-huh. Like, he keeps saying he pulled off. Hey, I know. Jordan really like that. He pulled up.

Yeah. I like that he said the service was great. However. Except for the derogatory term that was thrown at me. Except for the slur. Oh, the drug or joltz. When does I pulled off. Very confident.

Like, the review of it is kind of like, robotically impeccable. It's like, now, my human side. I'm furious. Did he like smile and wave as he said it? Like what's the confidence part? Confidently that he wouldn't hear you? That's crazy.

Probably really had some emphasis on it. I can only imagine how that played out. This is like the funniest. I mean, it's not funny. It's the funniest thing that they got. Now that makes me feel as if something malicious was done to my food. As the term used for me shows me he has no respect for people. who look like I do.

That's great. I love that sentence. He lays it out perfectly. I know, but it is so like calmly, respectfully done. You're the most disrespectful. So disrespectful.

He's not, he's not meeting. He's not meeting. No respect whatsoever. He's not returning it with any rage or anything. But it's like crazy. I wouldn't, I wouldn't,

like, he didn't include this, but I also would be like, out of an abundance of caution. Yeah. I threw away my food. Despite. I know, right? That's what I was gonna ask.

When we got through this, do you think C.H. ate his food? I'll say the most. I'm gonna say, yeah. I feel like he would have said if he did.

Yeah, yeah. Assuming he, I don't know. I mean, the thoughts there. I totally agree. The most emotion he gets this at the end is this day and age, there is no need for such behavior.

Exclamation. That's it. All perfectly punctuated. Perfectly punctuated. I agree. This is so eloquently put and this is like so well written. I watch a lot of videos.

Sad and funny. Yeah. I watch a lot of videos on TikToks where things like this are said pretty confidently. And it's definitely where they know the guy's going to hear it. And he doesn't just go write a Yelp review. Mostly that guy gets knocked out. That's usually what happens is the guy who says the slur gets fucking level. He said derogatory term.

Oh, that's right. You know what? You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it. Progatory term. People who look me. It's a short person. Oh, no.

Bald-headed. That's what it is. Good be bald. That's a bald guy. I've been doing... They said baldy. Dude. Now that would make this even funnier

if it's a white guy complaining about something and they know they can't say I'm a white guy so they have to go through this old song and dance and people just think I'm black. Yeah, exactly.

If I say it this way and this day, age there's no need to talk to Irish people this way. I've been doing commentary for AAPW and there's a guy who just lost a hair

versus hair match so they shaved a bald and so every time he goes out there and he gets really aggressive or mad or whatever he's go real bald-headed behavior. from a storm. Yeah.

We've been really working that one in. It's pretty good. All right. One more. Who should read this one? This might, well, it's up to you guys. It seems to be a lot of shouting.

There's a lot of shouting. Michael, you are very good at shouting. Okay, I'll do it. There's just so much shouting at the handy. I'm going to shouting. I don't like to, but I like to clean up. Yeah, that's true. Don't worry.

There's a lot of shouting at the beginning, too. Who put all the shouting here? Okay. Every time. Every time. Every time. It never fails. They get my simple order wrong.

How? I ask for a steak parada with no cheese. What do I get? Extra cheese. Every time, not once, twice or three times. This is every time. I drive all the way back for them just to replace it. And they do it with a attitude.

I go here because I'm tired of McDonald's and what a burger. This is the only place that's convenient and open late. For today's mess up, simple plain egg and potato taco and bean and cheese, what do I get? Some type of sick joke. What is this? I'm sick of going back every time. Dude, guys, at his wits and... I believe that it's not once, twice, or three times.

I do believe this has happened so many times he's lost his mind. And again, what the highlight here is this is done with proper grammar. Right, like the yelling and the screaming is still a month. Right. Like, this is intentional. Every time. This is fury. Every time.

And then, every time again, but with a space between every time. Every time. All caps. Not once, twice or three times. This is every time. He's losing it. But then he goes back to not caps. Right, right.

He calms down. What do I get? Some type of sick joke. What is this? Are they messing with me? I'm sick of going back every time. And I feel like going back is not going back. It's going back because you got your order wrong.

You have to go back. Right. Yeah, he's got to go back and they got to fix it. Oh, my God. like a Sisyphian struggle where like this is his ultimate punishment. He goes to get the steak parada every time with no cheese

and he's just pushing the boulder up the middle. His car is to not get is to only get it with cheese. It's a cheese wheel. Oh man. They called it a cheese real. I don't know what the difference is. Maybe that's Italian. Well, those are your reviews of

Taco Palenke, but we've our review of Taco Polenke, Pollo Masado Taco. Jordan. Yeah, Jordan. We'll start with you. What did you think of what we had today? What a pleasant surprise.

Taco Plunkie is. Nick slammed something. In confidence. Nick's over there going, Ha! He! Ho, woo, who, who. Oh.

Boy, you look stupid. What a fool on you. You got me. Did you like your taco? You're well. Welcome. Again, it is just... It's just...

It's never been to before. I know, right. Like, Mr. Highlands. Everyone thought it'd be bad. I saw commercials. The players I've never been to. The Spurs would never leave me to stray. My friend Victor.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Good. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. So, yeah, it's plain. It's just the... meat on a tortilla. It is literally grilled to perfection.

Yeah. Season. I can't remember the last time I ever had anything with nothing. Mm-hmm. Right. Tortilla chicken, that's it. And it was fucking good. Fucking good.

We got all the sauces. Yeah. He did share. Tried them all. He did share. We did try the variety of them on. Elevated it. Yeah.

Each one. I think, I think they both did great work on like you could have it without it. Or you could have it without it. you could try every sauce, you could try one sauce, it would be good no matter what. The only place where they went a little astray for me,

we did get the fajita taco. And I feel like that was not as good. It was weak. No, it wasn't. For the price, it was weak. It was weak. It wasn't as juicy or flavorful. That flavor, but like the chicken

just put it to shame. Yeah. And I'm the fucking steak guy over a chicken. The chicken was excellent. But I don't know why. An Osato style, like, meat isn't what they're doing anyway. Because they did it so well. I've never gone there before.

Jordan was like, I'm fucking up. If this is. Yeah. This should be the thing. That's like their Big Mac. Yeah. It should be. That, that, boy, Osato is fucking great.

Dude, it was really good. I would go back there. 100%. So if we were reviewing the restaurant as a whole, I would ding it. But like, what we came here for this. It's true. That's what we got. It's true.

And it's working in their favor today. It was amazing. Yeah. 93. Wow! I'm with you. I'm 91. Wow.

It's a 90. It was fucking good. There's literally nothing to it. It's the tortilla and chicken. Yeah. Nothing on it. And like, God damn,

you put yourself out there. Right. When it's like, I hope it's good. Holy fuck it's good. Yeah. You know, like again, you're a Big Mac's like put the sauce. All the shit and the onions or whatever.

They're like, here's the chicken asshole. Yep. Go crazy outside. This go crazy. Yeah. That's it. 92.

Ninety-two is the average score. And I think, I think 92's deserved. Dude, if you've never been in this place, you have when you're, at least the chicken, like that specifically.

Get the point of soto, man. Yeah. If they have anything, yeah, anything grill and sada style. Get that. Get that. They have a combo that's like,

two of the tacos with a drink or whatever or something like that. It's actually impossible options. Like, also, that's all the men should look into it. Take a holiday. And getting something and getting to order the

to you cheese. Yeah. I don't care. It was, again, it was much like this review, I remember what made funny was, it was I do not care. He couldn't even give you the conjunction. Right.

I'm trying to get through this thing. Ninety-two is a great score. It is really good. Yeah, and I think it's deserved. The chips are out of this world, too. The chips are all. And if you eat there, you can just eat 100 million chips.

You could walk up and load up. Yeah, you could just keep scooping them into your bag. As I was. The laws pleader. Top of funnel. As I was there, peacefully getting my few sauces or whatever, a lady came over to refill one of them.

And literally she poured it in and it was, like it just made that sound because it was real. Yeah. Everything there felt like it tasted pretty fresh. It's pretty good. Yeah, no kidding. It's about to change. Go go.

Yeah, go soon. That happened like late last year that they said that they're going to start doing this. No. So we got it's already, it's March. We probably got like nine months and then that's it. This is going to be the fastest used to be ever. Yeah. That's cool.

Was good a year ago. Yeah, we'll be there for the before. And we'll be back for the after. Hey, we'll let you know. Next time we go to Taco Planket, who knows if we can live up to this, a 92.

That's rarefied air. And from Nick. And from Nick. Yeah, from a Nick pick. I'm not surprised. Okay. Okay. Shut the hell off.

Again, again, he's taking a lot of credit for the thing he saw commercial. Hey, hey, even if take all the credit for that, he should be surprised. Yeah.

And he knows. It's true. It's a problem that you're not It's a clinical issue If Wendy said it's good, it's good That's fucking right, son Papa Well, yeah, right

Hey, go to 100% eat dot store for merch We have new merch coming soon Next week, could be, yeah Oh yeah, we should talk about it That stuff is ready I'm selling my, the Michael brand here, die Nice, we will pick a date soon, let you know Real light, real dark

Nice, streamly.com slash 100% eat for signed prints, the Michael Jordan podcast, patreon.com slash 100% eat. If you missed it, we just did a food court, which will be coming out tomorrow, dude. No, that's at the time of this recording, it's tomorrow, but it's done now. And then that'll be out on our YouTube channel.

You can check it out. He doesn't get it. That is the, a really fun show with you fucking freaks, letting us know your food crimes, and you are at the mercy of the court. So that will be coming out on our YouTube channel. Keep your eyes peeled. You can follow us at 100% eat on Twitter, Instagram,

And blue sky. Rubbing outfall. Nice. And you can send stuff to the PO box. That's PO Box 143241, Austin, Texas, 78714. P.O. Box 14, 32, 41, Austin, Texas. Great news. 8, 7.

Great news. Update. What's that? They sent back Gracie's box. Did they really? We have it. Yes, so we can send Gracie's box. I can get a picture of the doppelganger, put it in the box.

Yeah, we can just put her in the box. Well, we can just give the box to the doppelganger. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm already there. Was there anything else we wanted to throw in there? Before I send it back. I don't think so. I think we might be good.

We'll have a look. Oh, God. You vile. You're crazy. Some heavy breathing. How are you feeling about that? That's some heavy breathing. Do you think that was a good idea?

I thought it was a funny idea. Yeah, I'm laughing. But that's it. Hey, we have some really special episode coming out soon. Stay tuned. Whoa. So stay tuned to some really. weird shit that is going to mark

a new era in this show one that will be talked about forever in the annals of time. Yeah, but you won't notice. Jordan, can we wrap this up? All right, Jordan, send us up. His fingers hovering over that second one.

Rate subscribe, tell a friend about the show where eat food and rate the food and get good food. Good food. We finally did it. We finally did it. Wow. Dude. Hey, Nick, do it again next week. Please. Pick it, pick it in next week. Is there another? restaurant that gets advertised on Spurs games a lot?

No, pick whatever you want. Let's go to Cece's and see if it stacks up three weeks in a row. There's the thing of Gatties. There it is. We haven't been. We might have a Gattie's episode. This is why I know he's learned nothing. Yep.

So I gotta win and I can have one more. I won again as usual. Yeah. No. Yeah, as usual. Guys, guys, I got 21 and now they gave, they double my money and now I would put that money back in and surely I'll hit 21 again. No, hit me again. I'd like to split?

Double down, please. All right, thank you for watching. Bye-bye.