100% Eat - Tempting Salmonella %% Food Court
Episode Date: November 16, 2024From their livestream on 11/7/24, Our Honorable Hero Judges are back to rule on YOUR food crimes. Hear court cases about public use of Frank's Red Hot sauce, licking raw meat saucy fingers, and corn c...ob challenges. We've included the chat on screen so you can see the bald headed behavior you could be a part of if you're there live. If you want to be a part of these livestreams, become a Bug at least over on our Patreon and send in your priority Food Court submission. Part 2 will be out next Saturday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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I am so dreading groceries this week.
Why? You can skip it.
Oh, what? Just like that?
Just like that.
How about dinner with my third cousin?
Skip it.
Prince Fluffy's favorite treats?
Skippable.
Midnight snacks?
Skip.
My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip.
My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices.
Uh, nope, you're on your own there.
Coulda skipped it.
Shoulda skipped it.
Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals,
and more delivered right to your door on Skip.
Ready?
Yep. Go.
Ah!
He did the exact same thing. Face You food court is now in session honor
I remember that show
Alright now we're tying everything alright everyone post the bald-headed Eric
Slam the gavels again third third time to try two three
That was perfect
Welcome to 100% eat food court. We are here the honorable judges Michael and Jordan presiding over the court
the sauce monkey
Is also a judge yeah, no, I'm not not sure why. He's cosplaying a judge.
No.
Yeah, this is impersonation.
This will get you kicked out of here real quick.
It's true.
People are going to confuse you for a disheveled judge of some kind.
Come at me.
What the f-
You heard him, come at him.
Welcome to the Food Court.
It's now in session.
We'll be dispensing justice if you're watching this on our discord server
Thank you so much for supporting us at patreon.com slash 100 percent eat if you're watching this on YouTube later
Thank you for watching it, but check out the patreon and bully a friend into gifting you a sub
You can go to patreon now we have gift subs
So if you want a friend to get in here
Patreon.com you already pay for it patreon.com slash 100% eat slash gift right now no oh yep so we are recording
the chat live so that picture of me bald-headed behavior is really flying thank you yeah I hope we don't use it me too
I don't know it's it's nothing bald head I'm in just so you know before or the
thousand bald heads people are saying that the video I don't know if it's
still I don't see a video I don't know that's still the case. I'm looking it's not the videos fine
There's some videos fine. I didn't read anything
And now video was fine, but he was good. Yeah, and now it's time to begin dispensing
monkey justice
Michael Jordan are you guys ready to rule on some crimes? I don't know what's going on
Well, you got to put your phone away away and then we can really get going.
No that's how I read the chat.
You don't have to read the chat.
We have the chat right here.
But I can't see it.
You don't need to see it.
Don't worry about it.
Yes I do need to see it.
Erick will give us the highlights.
Have you ever been to court and the judge is constantly like, hey what do you think?
People are like, hey you in the back.
What do you think about what's going on?
Do you think we should hammer this guy or not?
That's what I need to be doing. Yeah
Do fucking shooting over there? Yeah, do we want to?
Summon one of the people in do you think we're prepared for that? I tell me speaking
No, they're gonna join now whole thing's gonna go no
So what if we do this waited five minutes it would change that situation no
But at least we'd get something before it happens sure sure that's all I'm saying
I think we got about 15 minutes of stuff
Everyone in the chat by the way demands that we upload that beginning on edited. I don't know is there sound no
That's why they want it. That's if they want it if you want to see us struggling
Patreon.com slash 100% that is where it will be that is for the freaks. That's for the sickos for real
Hey, let's get into our first
It's gotta be no sound if we upload it because Jordan was saying a bunch of crazy
Let's get into our first case this is from Aaron B. This is one that we're going to read. Okay, Aaron B
Hello, my noble bug kings. Hello. My father's favorite wing sauce is Frank's red hot
Okay, it's a good one.
He thinks all wings should come with Frank's on them.
The only issue is we live in Europe
and where he and my mom live, you can't really get Frank's.
I currently live in the UK and it's pretty easy for me
to get my hands on it.
So when my father asked me to bring some for him,
I do it every time I visit.
My mother begs me not to, because my dad always brings
both Frank's sauce and a plastic bag out to restaurants.
And whenever he gets wings, he puts all the wings in a bag,
douses them in sauce, and shakes it vigorously
in the middle of the restaurant.
She's asked him to just drizzle the sauce on,
but he says the only way to properly coat it
is by shaking it in the bag.
He's making his own.
It's true.
Should I continue to indulge my father and bring him sauce
or listen to my mom and stop bringing the sauce?
Can I allow him to continue to do this?
I don't live with them, so I never have to deal with it.
Thanks, the future of their marriage may live in your hands.
Wow, what an interesting case. So this is from Erin.
All things said, what a normal thing.
Yeah, well it's kind of an embarrassing thing
your dad is doing, and you're kind of enabling it.
But it's not a food crime.
Yeah, it's more of a-
It's more of an etiquette crime.
It's an embarrassment in public offense.
I mean to bring a bag and fill the bag.
You gotta not care what anyone in that restaurant thinks.
Clearly he doesn't.
You start busting out your own ingredients.
Taking wings off a plate and throwing it in a bag.
Imagine.
Dumping them into the bag.
Yeah, I swear.
Zip lock.
I don't think he meant a garbage bag. Like a plastic bag. a garbage bag I want to know what Nick thought maybe like a grocery bag
What I?
This is Kroger on hang on hang on now. It's his waitress on it. Whatever what European one
Great you think it would be a bag. That's not sealable be more embarrassing I? Mean to be fair I guess he did yeah, I think maybe it was implied
It's a burlap it wasn't a fucking grocery bag on paper or plastic the chat cannot believe that he said grocery
oh
My god like a cheese claw is it like a diaper bag
There you go. How do you feel now?
Is it like a diaper bag? Oh!
There you go.
How do you feel?
Now, regardless of him doing this or whatever,
is this something that you could ever see yourself doing?
I would never.
I would see myself, Nick, doing it.
Yeah!
Me in proximity and feeling like the mother
in this situation being like,
please don't embarrass me in public.
You're doing it again.
You brought your own syrup to the IHOP.
Yeah, but I think at this point, Jordan, it wouldn't be a please don't embarrass me in public because he does it all the time
It's here he goes again. Yeah
Pretend I don't know him right right right right? I think it's more it would be more normal for us to put up
So the case at hand is actually
Should was it Aaron yes should Aaron stop enabling this behavior by bringing the sauce?
Yes, that is, that's what he's asking.
Because...
Was he an accessory before the fact?
Well, he's the reason that it continues to happen.
His mother is begging him,
please stop getting this for your father.
Stop supplying the sauce so he can't do it.
Aaron, so far, has refused
and has written in to you guys to try to figure this out.
And again, the future of their marriage
May be in your hands. I feel like
He's gonna find a way to get his hands I feel I feel the
Also, you can't he'll settle for another sauce and keep doing yeah
You know what I mean like if he can't get his hands on Frank yeah, I'm like really like spring no I agree
I mean like if he can't get his hands on Frank yeah, I'm like really like spring no I agree
But he hasn't he doesn't have to scrounge me because he keeps getting it sent to him also It's Europe, so he's like oh, I'm just gonna go out to the corner store. He hops on a train. Yeah back
He's in the UK. He buys his own he comes back
You know quick trip over the tunnel or not not I mean that's tough because you would have to go through immigration, wouldn't he?
Oh, that's true. Thanks, Brexit
Brexit could be ending the relationship that this guy has with Frank's record saving it
It's a bunch of people saying tunnel in Brexit. Yeah, it's um
It's crazy that Frank's is his hot sauce of choice, right? Like it's good
It's it's that I like so
I think it's the bare minimum of sauce what you like and you live in Europe and you you have all you have is Frank's and
You have no choice right? Yeah, well you don't have Frank's even yeah
The only the only thing you have access to is Frank's and even then it's not that easy to get yeah
I wonder what like I wonder what country they live in and I wonder what like their default sauce is
Like what what crazy fucking Austrian hot sauce is this guy having to go like this is not doing it. It's called ketchup
Oh, yeah
Dude it too hot for me. The thing that I don't get pepper too spicy
Yeah
the thing that I don't get is that he's that's as far as he's going with it is
I'll put it in a bag and I'll toss it around and then I'll eat wings and it's like damn Michael's reading the chat
Yeah, I'm listening to I can multitask bro the someone said did Michael smoke something. He's glaring
Jordan still talking
the
The idea that he would do this with only this food and then it would end once he stops getting Franks
There's no shot. I think that's that's kind of where I'm leaning towards on on the crux of this being that like your father
Is capable of this behavior no matter yeah enabled
unenabled
He's going to do this like
You can't you can't stop a sauce monkey from sauce
You can merely hinder them
Humbaba in the chat said just shake the bag more discreetly
Yeah
Do it under the table
Under the table
Yeah
Yeah just make it look like that
Yeah
What are you doing?
Oh shit
I put my franks on
I'm making my sauce
I'm fr-
Are you jacking off?
No I'm franking on
He's franking all over
This guy's frank Frank all over the place
So what do you think do you think Aaron should I?
Hold I do not hold Aaron
Legally responsible for his father's behavior. Yeah, he's doing a nice thing by supplying some Frank's red hot
Red hot to his father. Yeah, what he does with it is no longer the son's responsibility Aaron is he's safe yep, but not from his mother
That's the crutch he can be blamed right but ultimately he can't be held responsible for his father's behavior. It's true
Yeah, that's that's true, but do you think he should like I think it's very simple who which parent do you like more?
You know what I mean? That's that dude. I hadn't even considered
I mean it really comes down to like do you want to do you want your daddy to be happy your mommy to be?
That should be our ruling. You know what I mean? It's like you go your own way, and you've made your decision
And I'll say you don't deserve consequences, but you will get them. Yeah, right. Yeah, not from us
I think if from us I clear you on this. Yeah, I think it's perfectly acceptable. You're doing a nice thing
Yeah, it's weird. But also like I understand it's weird
But I'm all I also have bias because we've been doing it with this with this thing for so long
And it's really funny, and it's very funny
I know but we also make a show out of it, and I don't think his mom probably has a podcast
Yeah
Right here's our ruling then uh-huh because if you're not getting content out of it. Yeah, it's not worth it
Uh-huh, so we will not intervene you can continue supplying your father
The hot sauce yes, but like the next time he does it can you ask your mom to like film your dad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we want to see it. We still get content. Uh-huh and we can post it so much Ask your mom to like film your dad
The ruling is you have to have your mom film at one time yeah, and
You make up your own mind which way you want to go on. Yeah, I think I think
Clear and that's between that speech with him and his wife. Yep the sanctity of their marriage
We don't we're not gonna get involved in the bed. Yeah, we're not okay. Yeah, we're not the US Supreme Court right No, this is food court. This is food court, and I think as far as food goes. It's in the clear
It's weird could be embarrassing, but it's in the clear Yeah, cuz you do you do got to shake it you got it
You got a Frank on if you're gonna if you're gonna bring Frank's sauce with you everywhere that gets imported to you
You don't half-ass it. No you gotta go for it. No drizzling
I feel like there also could be a world where find a sauce you like where you live
Mmm, but that's not what the question is yeah. Yep. It's true. Just ketchup is not the same. No. Well there you have it. That's the ruling.
Food court rules. That's pretty good.
That's a new cash raise I'm trying out. That's pretty good. I liked it.
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Nick, do you see Audie requesting to speak?
Can we get Audie to request to speak?
If you're not Audie, don't request to speak. We want to get Audie who to speak. Can we get Audie to request to speak? If you're not Audie, don't
request to speak. We want to get Audie who received a summons. I hope so. I hope they're here.
Audie is now a speaker. Ladies and gentlemen, we now present Audie who submitted a food court
dilemma to the honorable judges.
Audie, how are you doing?
I'm doing great.
How are y'all?
I'm doing great.
Oh, we're good.
Great, thanks for joining us.
The audio might sound a little doubled.
That's on purpose.
Oh yeah.
Get that 3D audio going.
Yeah.
Oh, see.
This guy works in the biz.
It's only you that sound doubled, actually.
What?
It's only you.
That's so weird.
Now it's even, oh, that's cool. That's texture
Well, Adi what do you have to say about your food crime?
Would you like to lay it out or would you like me to read what you wrote?
uh
You know
There's kind of you go for it. You go ahead and read what I wrote I wrote it real late at night, and I think
Hello, my esteemed meat man monkey god in Eric Boudoir. He did spell it right so alright
I mean all of it
Oh, I very often get yelled at by my friends for a practice that I think just makes sense and is low-risk
Oh cool. I mean it's gotta make sense and be low-risk
I want you to keep in mind that that's how he let off
Alright, Adi when I season meat
Especially marinated meat. I will often taste the marinade after mixing in the meat so I can taste the seasoning
What where's the low risk part the chat is freaking out I'd like to
I'd like to clarify. This is not a whole spoon and a half
I just kind of run my finger over it like I'm trying this
No, I don't think that's the problem actually like I'll do this with just basic direct meat seasoning to though
Holy
Monkey you know what I'm talking about
It's like quickly tasting the sauce left over on the lid of a sauce packet slash bucket slash whatever
That's called it really is just like I do this with pretty much every meat whether it's fish steak
pork chicken or otherwise. A person must know how well they've seasoned their food.
My idiot friends, however, think that this is an affront to the gods of health and that
I tempt E. coli with my behavior.
Why do you think they think that?
I submit fact one.
I have never had an illness
Stemming from this practice
Have you ever gotten ill
Unrelated the night after I'm more likely to get ill from something like bleep in the bleep
Then I am from this behavior in fact
They find this disgusting and will hammer me for it I request that you make a judgment on whether or not this is okay so that I
may hammer them back Thor style Audi. Audi what what do you have to say?
Listen, I grew up in a household where good seasoning is very important. Learned the behaviors.
And it was, you know, I can't tell how well the meat is seasoned.
I don't want to do this whole like microwave the meat and the microwave and figure out
how good it's tasting.
Nobody's got time for that, right?
Sure.
All I'm saying is that I've never gotten sick
Never but my mother who has been alive on this earth for almost
49 years has never gotten sick
She does it too
We don't live in those you know like meatpacking eras of the 1920s ideal Yeah, no, we we live in the meatpacking era of the 2020s where Tyson had to shut down a whole plant because everyone was dying
But not on no no no no no never even say this is some real to me the
The justification of I've never gotten sick from this is the most
RFK behavior in the world right well, and you know what he's about to get a
RFK behavior in the world right well and you know what he's about to get a good he's thinking that that guy's gonna be in the cabinet that guy and both of
his brainworms FDA style too he's gonna take care of it this is this is okay so
let me ask like what meat do you think you're marinating and then tasting off of the most?
Probably likely chicken uh-huh cool great the same as
Perfect answer that's the one you want to have like medium rare right? Okay? So so why why do you describe this as low risk then?
When you're when you're losing it from the people who have been around me
No one's ever gotten sick from licking like a little
Just a little bit. Just off some pink. Just a little bit.
That's all I'm saying.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Little brush how much is there even enough surface area on a pinky to have bacteria to make you sick?
No, I don't know. I think I think I think bacteria is pretty big. It's definitely
Bacterias do you need it's got to be at least ring fingers?
If you're using your thumb yeah, you're
Never use the thumb one bacteria might not be strong enough
And there's just not enough surface area on the pinky to create the army that you need in
Order to endanger your health. It's definitely true
And he's never gotten sick doing this and keeps letting us know that fact right and would you say would you say that's your only?
Piece of evidence for why it's not weird because as you point out your friend with I've got
6070 different places that face jam and or
100% has been at or 100% eat has been at that have given
E. Coli to other people and yet I have not gotten it, but
It's the it's the I haven't gotten see it's never had so I so all we know
We could be immune I can start listing them off. Yeah, no no
Will still count as one piece of everything let them let them list
No, they don't
Michael does
the
Have you considered that maybe you have a genetic thing you and your mother that she passed down to you where you cannot get E. Coli. Oh
I'm just like don't like that. Yeah, I think that's true. Have you considered that you're built different have you considered you might be him?
We are we changing your mind and making you think you might be a mute for life?
Is there a way to try hey, I will say I think you're already trying
Yeah, you really want to test it you really want to roll the dice go to McDonald's
No, if you really want to test it use your thumb use your thumb
But that's not on us right but um even when you should set your your question
You would have us rule that we would hammer your friends instead of you
Well, he wants he wants you guys to let him know it's not weird so that way he can hammer his friends to let them
Know that it's not weird. He's got a rule gotcha. Well that will not be happening. What do you mean?
Look the never gotten sick part it does get me thinking
What does it get you thinking?
What if he's right? What if he's right? What if he's right? What if he's right?
What if this whole E. Coli thing is not the way it doesn't work the way we thought what if you hit a bear in the
Woods and then you take the bear out and then you grill the bear up and then you eat the bear
That's fine, and then you're not you get brain but you're not dipping
No pain anything before you cook those so even that might be all right hadn't thought about
Audi are you the only one eating this food that you're touching?
No, everyone's eating. Okay cool. Well. Well they're eating it after he cooks it
Yeah, who's eating it before let me ask what I'm saying. He does cook it at some point. Let me ask you
Oh, yeah, but he's touched on a marinade. Yeah, yeah, but seasoning yeah, but you cook it. Yeah
Let me ask this Audi. This does just mean it's not good
It's this is this is me and ignore. No one else is here. Dude. It's just me and you just me
That's it who's talking. It's just me and you I come have have you ever
Just nibbled on a little bit of the raw meat just to try it
I'd like to plead the
Come on I'd like to plead the
Feeling I had a feeling that after if you're growing up doing a little swipe
Once or twice there's a little piece of chicken and you go you're doing like a raw cookie dough situation
That's not a thumb I'm afraid I have to put my foot down. What's what it is putting your foot in it
And then he's sucking your toes
Not sucking your toes he's licking the arch. Yeah, that's the part that they like yeah, that's the tender
It's not that's beat
We can't oh my god, you forgot about monkey juice! We can't. Oh my god, monkey juice.
Not out yet, we can't.
Monkey juice.
Guys, when this- next week's episode, when you get to monkey juice, it's fucking over.
Somebody stop me!
But we're getting side tracked.
Oh my god.
Jordan, I think, was about to just rule in his favor, I believe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think he was gonna say this is normal
I was going to say that when you're preparing food for guests or other people you are responsible for preparing that food in a
safe
Food health conscious way uh-huh that will not get them sick
For all we know you are immune and you know what great. That's good for you. You are him
with a capital H absolutely
But I don't think you're putting
The best interest of the other people eating this food
I'm not even worried about other people. I'm just worried about this
No, he's not getting sick. He's not getting sick.
Right, no one's getting sick from his food.
Look, sometimes you think the best chefs, the best food in the world, are not like touching it and fingering it and shit.
You never see Gordon Ramsay, he's always sucking the soup and shit.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bro, you're always licking it and trying it and shit.
I'm willing to wheel and deal on this ruling, but I think, one, it's weird.
And two, you should probably stop doing it's not even like weird to me. It's just
insane and not
healthy
It's like so insane when we started reading this I'll tell you what Nick was going like no
Low risk is no way to describe what this is
But that's the way he described it immediately
So actually to be fair so far. It's been no risk. Uh-huh. Yeah, I wouldn't say a low low would be if he's like
Well, I got a cold one
so far
He's a hundred percent safe
Jordan what's your ruling?
Stop it, man man you gotta stop use if you
really if this is not the only way you can be sure you're seasoning it
correctly you gotta find another way like just learn how to season your food
like what are you doing like every other person you just kind of do it a few times
I mean that was too salty let's go also also? I mean, this is a lot of work, but if you really want to like kowtow to the Jordans
You make a little make a little test burger first
I mean one cook one piece of chicken create a controlled environment and eat that off to the side and then
You're not fingering the uncooked meat. Yeah, you know, but that's I understand. It's extra steps
Yeah
Yeah
Wants to do a test cook when you just want to make the whole thing and when you can just suck it down
Right off your fingers sometimes raw and oh and here's the thing too cuz I don't think no matter what we rule
That you're gonna stop. Oh, he's gonna keep going. I think maybe
Look at it
Maybe just for Jordan's sake right cuz he doesn't care about what happens to you. He's already moved past this who are we talking to?
Maybe just instead of finger in it
Just use like a little spoon and then at least you're not touching it with your fingers
And I'll make him feel better about one thing. I feel like that will help Jordan it won't help you
No, it skirts the issue won't help you, but it's smart of you thinking this way and and your friends have every right to continue
You came to us looking for for um absolution you will not find it. Yeah, I gotta be honest don't be wrong
I find it hilarious, and I love it. Come on now. Thank you for writing a podcast about it
You didn't well world were you thinking we were gonna be hammering your friend
I'm just licking and sometimes eating my wrong cooked meat. Come on
I mean, I I mean I dropped a piece of pizza on the floor and ate it
And that and I and Nick thought that was so exciting. Which side which side yeah, this doesn't come close to that. Yeah
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Michael may I ask you a question?
You may.
Do you walk around your house with shoes on?
No, I don't.
Okay, never mind.
I lose. there wasn't
much there I I appreciate the hell Mary but you know not not everyone is is
Jaden Daniels I almost what was gonna be the alternative if I did but I just kind of find it funnier
Just I feel I feel the exact same way. Yeah, never mind. You know what?
Hammer him hammer. I'm sorry food court rules
Yeah, stop it. All right, Adi. Thank you very much. Thank you go to jail. We appreciate it
Yeah, get him out of here Nick. Gift your friends some some some patreon
Yeah subscriptions, and then they can come in the discord and make fun of you
You can do that by going to patreon.com slash 100% slash gift give the gift of 100% eat this
Season the next thing we can announce it now. I think the next thing we're gonna do live with you guys
madam web watch along and the date is
Yeah, what are we doing it? It's this
November okay one that's this month T
I'm busy
Yeah, yeah, let me let me get back to you on that date, but so soon guys, but
Here's the exciting thing. Here's what here's what I think we can do
I think we can actually show the movie to people
In discord and then we'll record our watch along put it out later for everyone, but we'll watch along with you in
Discord and you can just watch matter. Yeah, you have to pay for it like you had to pay for ambulance
You have a noise suppression on the key of the gavel. Oh Nick noise suppression only Nick can hear it
Oh Nick love hearing it go we can't hear the gavel. Oh, no. I do it real soft style you go for it
Oh, yeah, that sounds so good
I mean noise suppression is a button on or off. What do you mean? It's turned down. It's under advanced audio settings
Try it again, I'm just telling you what discord is try it try it again Jordan turn off crisp someone said
Nick blame Gracie quick
There's a thing called crisp everyone says oh my god you gotta get Chris I turn off every people said it works now
So it was on oh really yeah, hey, let's get let's get
You man no way dude you've been doing great. That's me and I mean I have pictures from before the
Greed there's a lot of you would say you're definitely going after I until I have a stroke.
Right.
I wasn't saying anything.
It was external.
Hey, let's get another ruling in the court.
There are the bald headed pictures of me.
If we put this chat up, I don't condone it.
I don't like it.
Is Sean Gildea here Sean who Sean it's a email starts with cookies I don't know
when cookies his name but Sean if you're here request to speak if you're not Sean
be gone we need Sean Gildea if you're here that's cool if not no big deal we
can move on but Sean we'll see if you step through. What?
I think it's a big deal if he's not here.
Dude.
If you don't show up for a summons,
like they send dogs after you, right?
It's true, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sean Gilde, Sean G, if he's here, cool, if not,
we'll just have to move on.
Actually, what we could do is just roll on what he has
if he's not here.
I mean, we could start it.
Let's give him.
Submit a warrant for Sean.
Let's give him a warrant for sure
Let's give him a sec. Okay, maybe we do another one first, okay?
Because I do I do like his what he wrote on back to it He's crazy
and I want some you know if Sean if you do show up just request to speak there and then
Let us know and we'll tell you someone in the chat just keep spamming Sean Sean Sean
So he knows to like you know when he shows up. He'll know what to do
No did anyone die from the E. Coli at McDonald's. I don't think anybody did it wasn't Jack in the box
I know they had it. I don't think people died. I don't think anybody died for me. Was it the quarter pounder?
Yeah, I think that's what it was yes. I there was they were like E. Coli
We don't know what it is right when it first happened
And then I went to go to McDonald's one day, and they were not selling quarter pounders
Oh really, and it said be back soon. Oh, no. They're back. I immediately started eating them. What's up, Jordan?
What's going on? Just double checking what's going on just double checking the date on this article. Yeah one person is died. Oh no
90 cases How old was the person that died. Oh, no 90 cases
How old was the person that died were they weak body didn't mind? Yeah, are they really really old or really really young was it a baby?
Was he only a quarter pound oh
You can't blame equal at that point if you're supposed to do with that quarter pound baby. Yep
Yeah, uh
One perk wow yeah, I don't think I don't know information damn. they're not loving it. Yeah, I don't think Sean is coming
I do want to read his all right. Let's go ahead unfortunate Sean you fuck Sean. We sent you a summons
That's okay. I'll try you in abstinence. Yep
My fiance does not like corn huh, and she will not eat, which is already off of the cob. However, if you hand
her corn on the cob, she is basically in heaven. So just based on that, start piecing that
together.
So she likes corn?
Yeah.
No.
On the cob?
No, doesn't like corn.
Corn on the cob is the truest form of corn.
That's true.
Yeah.
So, after you give her a corn purist.
Oh, here's what she does as a corn Yeah. So after you give her a oh
Here's what she does is a corn purist after you give her the corn on the cob
She will then proceed to lather it in butter
And eat the corn on the cob by picking off each kernel one by one with her fingers
Either until it's completed or she's decided that you think our that she is all corned out Michael wanted a crime or my car out Michael
Being proud of her behavior. She told me the longest it has taken her to eat corn on the cob is two and a half hours I think she's committing a food crime, but she doesn't believe so. What is your official ruling on this matter? She's saying she's touching her food
again
This matter she's saying she's touching her food again. She's using a piece insane
What is covered in butter also who the fuck how can you even like?
Eating it one at a time. That's like not that's nothing. There's nothing that's like
Why is it any different than just regular like loose corn? I want to know how she does it I again Do you think it's just like you wiggle it on you?
It's like a tooth your soul and it's like a tooth when you're so many strange things about this
There's layers to this of yes, if you like corn on the cob
Why don't you like corn not on the cob right it makes no sense that makes no sense
But even if you ignore that which is hard to you're picking it off one at a time
Have you ever eaten one single piece of corn at a
time in any way that you eat right not even with corn nuts do I do that and
they are supposed to be eaten one at a time you eat like six I just like did
did the best the best companion to corn not on the cob or like peas mashed
potatoes dude yeah scoop the mashed, and then you fire the corn
And you got it right there and it's all designed to go in together
Then you just shovel in as much as you can each bite one kernel of corn uh-huh
How are you even tasting it at a time? I also again? How do you not get bored?
Clearly you're not eating corn on the cob to eat for her
She's doing something and picking I can't eat a bag of chips for more than a couple minutes
You're eating corn on the cob for two and a half hours
Could you imagine going with like with her to a movie theater to watch like Avengers Endgame?
And she's just going like I got my one ear of corn. This is gonna last me. This movie is one ear of corn long
It's gonna just on your left
And she's like I'm almost done with this court
All right better. I don't even know who you are
like oh about
You pump more than four fits the way done you wouldn't even eat one piece of popcorn at a time
That's blown up corn. That's right like five times the size of a piece of corn
It's bigger than corn and should be it could be eaten one by one. Do you think she hates that kind of corn?
We don't know. Oh, that's a great. No Sean isn't here. Does she like popped corn? We don't know
Uh, this is insane behavior. It's not normal
I mean, yeah, I could I could settle it makes no sense, but I could settle hey
I don't like freestanding corn,
but I like corn on the cob.
Doesn't make sense to me, but alright, maybe there's like a texture thing,
you like holding it, you like biting and getting some resistance,
but you're not like, I don't even know what the hell is the middle of the corn called.
Like, the cob?
Is it the cob?
Yes, that is the cob part.
I guess that makes sense.
It's on it.
You like the cob flavor, it's like pinning corn up against the wall and? That's the Cobb part. Yeah. I guess that makes sense. It's on it. You like the Cobb flavor.
It's like pinning corn up against the wall
and eating it against the wall.
And you're like, I'm gonna get into this corn
and it can't go nowhere.
Cause the Cobb is backing it up.
Maybe that's what you like.
But also the corn's into it.
Though the corn's super into it.
The corn's like, yeah, eat me up.
You know, it throws itself.
I mean, it's born with the Cobb.
Yeah.
The corn and the Cobb are,
it's like Venom and Eddie Brock. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's just symbiotic
Okay, and the and they like when your fiance comes in and slams them
Okay
This isn't that though. No you're picking up one piece at a time and you need one piece at a time
That's crazy. It's pretty psycho be It also corn corn cob or not at best hot
It's gonna be hot or warm for what a few minutes. Yeah, 15 hours. Yeah, that's
giving you like hours I
Just don't She doesn't eat it off the cob if If you give her a bowl of corn.
You turned it into that.
Mini Matt said, at least it's low risk.
It's true.
I don't, that's the thing in all of this for me
that fuck it, it fucks my head up.
Is that she'll eat it on the cob
but have to pull it off individually.
This is not a new form of corn consumption.
No!
It's not different from the other ones.
I just don't, you can buy a bag of the thing you're doing.
What you're doing, you are buying time-saving food.
You have bought food that saves you two and a half hours.
And I know sometimes there's an argument to like, you know, putting some craft into something. It takes a lot of time and therefore,
therefore it's better. This is not, this is not that. This is not that.
This is not an artisan way to eat corn.
Honestly,
I think we should lock up Sean and his girlfriend for this because fiance.
Yeah. Because, uh, they didn't show up to get hammered.
Oh look Shrek. Someone made him shrek.
Yeah, I saw it!
Wow, cool.
No!
He looks just like him.
No!
He does!
No!
Stop posting Shrek!
Can you say donkey?
Donkey.
How was it?
Yeah.
Shrek's here.
I'm telling you, I'm such a monkey juice guy. Oh, yeah
Such a monkey juice guy you guys have no idea
Penguin on the cob
It's called a car
All right, what's your what's your official ruling on Sean's fiance? What was the exact question?
Yeah, by the way, are we just hammering her or calling her a freako or what?
He thinks that she's committing a food crime.
Yeah, he says she's not.
You are definitely 100% convicted of food crime.
Food court rules.
Did they hear that Nick?
Did you hear that?
Now you answered. Nick answered for you, but now you and yeah, they're saying yes, you're crazy
You're your own person. So here's the thing. Here's the thing about
So here's the thing about monkey juice he doesn't know what beetle juice really is he hasn't seen the movie or says yeah
So he just sort of he has his own catchphrases for monkey juice
Someone made a juice box for monkey. Yeah
That's not what it is, but cool. It's good though