100% Eat - TGI Fridays Loaded Cheese Fry Burger

Episode Date: June 9, 2020

In this episode, Michael Jones and Jordan Cwierz eat and review TGI Fridays Loaded Cheese Fry Burger so you know if it's worth eating. They also talk about hitting the road again, TGIF Bro, bad connections, and more. Sponsored by us. 100% Eat shirts in store Thursday June 11th at 10am Central https://store.roosterteeth.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's a little bit, okay. I heard it a little bit better. It came back a little bit. Hey, welcome to Face Jam, the show where we try every new fast food creation to let you know if you need it, and you probably darn do, to us go us once again here we are the pillar of our own community the community of face jam us bringing you the show uh by us and for us i guess you can listen to it too i'm your host michael jones along some of my co-host jordan swears jordan how are? Confused about whether or not I'm allowed to listen to the show.

Well, you're part of us, so yeah. He made it really clear that it's for us and we can listen to it. It was very clear. It's made by us, for us, and I guess other people can listen to it too. What? You should listen to it. It's pretty good. You're a liar.

This is all you got going. What are you talking about? I see you with the hat. You love it liar. This is all you got going. What are you talking about? I see you with the hat. You love it. You want the Spice Rat shirt. This guy is getting hot and bothered over Spice Rat. You love it. Give me a break.

He's speechless. He's just smiling. He's speechless. He's just smiling. Jordan says nothing. I guess I'll keep going. So if this sounds a little off, once again, we have taken the show back on the road to the exact same spot. Literally, literally the same parking lot because we are reviewing TGI Fridays, which I believe is just called Friday.

What the fuck? What is this? Someone just pulled up next to me. What the fuck was that? They kept going. Yo. Whoa. Whoa.

They took a look at us and was like, we can't really explain it. We're getting circled. Yeah. It was like a shark. We're in infested waters. Somebody sharked Eric. They just drove past him. We're parked here trying to put on a show.

They like stared at me. We're at TGI Fridays reviewing the loaded cheese fry burger, which is right next to Steak and Shake. Yep. So again, it's very far away. We decided to eat it in the parking lot, record in the parking lot, and here we are. Which is, you know, that was our was our choice honestly because it's open and there are people inside the tgi fridays yeah eating which is crazy you were so shocked by that but i'm like it's tgi fridays and the the state is slowly reopening so this is exactly what the

establishment i expect to have people in it that's true and that's that um yeah i bet they were parked outside at 10 59 we opted to not going yeah they also opened at 11 ordered the food at 11 consumed it around 11 30 and now here we are just past noon uh chilling in the parking lot with a burger in my belly oh it's a lot of burger, too. It's a pretty big burger. It was one of those burgers that you sent us the picture, and I always respond the same way when we see the picture of what we're eating,

but this one was so much worse. It looked so bad. It's this big, fat burger monstrosity with fries poking out of it and just cheese. Lava flowing from the bun. There's a lot going on. I was not looking forward to it. When you see promotional food, it's never what it actually looks like you know like oftentimes it's it's like sprayed food it's not even the food you can eat they take the burger and they they they you know

they class it up they make it look nice they couldn't do that with this no i agree even 100 even the classy photo was like what the hell is this yep and and you know when it looks that bad the actual thing you get is just gonna be so much worse and and boy was it it was a bit of uh i would call it maybe a mush mountain it was man what a great way to put it it was wet and like it was wet it was so wet all the way from top to bottom it was it wet so it was Fucking sweating it was fucking women wish you could feel angry Eric was he kept saying wet wet wet wet I've never heard someone so angry

Say the word wet so fire truck hang on okay. He's still going's still going. Never mind. Yeah, he's here to protect us to make sure no other sharks are coming around here. That was scary. That was. I agree. It was just, I mean, like,

we're in, we're in. Maybe they wanted an autograph. We're in, like, the back part of the parking lot away from everybody and a car just, like, intentionally circled us

in the spots directly next to our cars it was deliberate yeah they want to know what the fuck's going on i don't blame them this is what we thought was going to happen in the steak and shake episode yeah well we made the trouble of returning to the scene of the crime we made the mistake sorry we made the trouble that guy saw us one time before and then he said no not twice every day i'm coming back here until i find them oh man uh i think we were talking about this before jordan do you know anyone who like fucking comes to tgi fridays like who enjoys tgi fridays no one that i know of. I don't know anyone, like growing up,

I don't know where TGA Fridays was in my neighborhood. I think it's pretty telling that there's one in Austin and then the next closest one is 180 miles away. Jesus. South Padre Island, Texas, which is like a vacation spot. It's where tourists go, so it's where you would expect a TGI Fridays to be. What about you, Michael? Well, let me tell you, Jordan.

You know someone. Are you a TGI Fridays guy? I was. I have been to TGI Fridays so many times. There was an intervention. The first alcoholic drink I had after I turned 21 was at Fridays. Wow.

Oh, my God. I was like, give me that Captain Morgan, whatever, Jack Daniels, Fruity Tooty drink, and I loved it. I'll slip it down. If it's got sugar and it's got a pirate on it, sign me up. Ship me out to sea. But, like, I guess that's not too surprising because, man, that's, like, their thing, right? Like, they do happy hour.

Yeah, they do happy hour all day. All day, every day. What I would do, I used to go, back when I lived in New Jersey, I used to go to the movies every single weekend. Sometimes I'd go, like, twice in a weekend. I used to go to the movies every single weekend Sometimes I'd go like twice in a weekend Like I literally I did like in a two year span I probably saw

150 movies Holy shit dude I used to save all the tickets It's just what I did Sometimes we'd see It's just a friend of mine We'd see three movies like on a weekend sometimes And we would always go

This is before like dining You know like Draft House or whatever So we would usually go, this is before like dine-in, you know, like Draft House or whatever. So we would usually go get food either before or after. And we would almost always just go to Friday's because it was near the movies. And it was just, I mean, if you're not getting pizza or something like that, I mean, food's not good in New Jersey. So we would just go there. Did Eric just drop from the call again? No, I'm here.

Oh, who did? Who did? Who dropped? Who was that? It was me call again? No, I'm here. Oh, who did? Who dropped? Who was that? It was me. What? God damn it, Nick. Oh, man. So I would go all the time.

And it was shit food for sure. But it's just like, it's mush. You put it in your mouth and it's cheap. You get a cheap steak, you know, and you get alcohol. So I would go a lot. Wow. I don't know. I i mean i probably do know i've never been to a friday's since i moved to austin because as jordan said there's one

it's this one and there's also real food here uh also i'm not you know trash in my 20s anymore but i went to friday's a lot that's like a big appeal right like this is that kind of like Applebee's after 10 o'clock $2 mozzarella sticks type restaurant right so is it like the Taco Bell of like Applebee's and Chili's restaurant yeah it might you know it's like not a bad way to put it it really is

like I think it's exceptionally cheap except for the meal that we got today which like was this fucking expensive it's one of those things too like taco bell where if you get the meal like that they're advertising it's cheap if you go in and just order what you want it's insanely expensive yeah like i can go i can go to taco bell and get you know the taco box or you, whatever the hell their thing is. If I just go and get what I want, it's $26. Yeah, yes.

Yeah, absolutely. But you can do dollar menu bullshit and get out of there for five bucks. And I feel like TGI Fridays is the same thing. They do unlimited appetizers for $12. For $12, you can eat a bottomless appetizer plate. Shit, who was that? There's an article online where somebody tested it. They were at TGI Fridays for like 16 hours and they did not kick them out. They ate so many mozzarella sticks In one sitting

God And it was for the sake of journalism I have a friend I have a friend named Chris Who would do that Who's that? Well he's just a friend of mine Just a friend of yours?

Yeah that's why I didn't say his last name You started to say something And then you trailed off No I was gonna say Da who's that? Yeah you did I just feel like You don't know this guy

But he would do something like that for sure. Chris is a pretty common name. He could be talking about anybody. Could be talking about anybody. Probably a different guy. He really liked Olive Garden. He did something similar at Olive Garden one time. Which is another restaurant.

I don't know if you've heard of it. We'll have to do an Olive Garden episode sometime. We won't invite your friend Chris, but we'll tell him about it. No, not at all. Olive Garden, they don't do a lot of promotional shit. They have deals and shit. They do unlimited

salad and pasta and all that shit, but it's not a limited time item. They just do like, okay, here's this big long stretch where you can just eat never-ending pasta bowl dumps, whatever. ending pasta bowl dumps whatever pasta bowl dumps my favorite yeah

come eat this shit idiot Olive Garden they had these uh like pizza soup things that my friend Gus and I went and tried once and that was awful but this isn't a show about Olive Garden no that's true it's a show about TGI Fridays today not yet yeah and thank god it's Fridays yeah but it's Tuesday But this isn't a show about Olive Garden. No, that's true. It's a show about TGI Fridays today. Not yet.

Yeah. And thank God it's Fridays. Yeah, but it's Tuesday. And here's the other thing. That's what their name is. It still says TGI Fridays, which it stood for thank God it's Fridays, which is weird. Because it should be Friday. Right.

But they kind of, didn't they do, they kind of didn't they do they kind of just said nah it's just Fridays now so they did a couple of weird name changes and this doesn't reflect those name changes that's why I was confused just now because it still says TGI on it it was TGI Fridays the way that it's written

there then they did just Fridays but then they dropped the apostrophe It was TGI Fridays, the way that it's written there. Then they did Just Fridays. But then they dropped the apostrophe and went back to TGI. So now it's TGI Fridays, but not possessive. But this sign doesn't reflect that. Right. This sign is possessive. It's a very possessive sign.

The Fridays being possessive makes It's a very possessive sign. The Friday being possessive makes more sense. Why? Otherwise it's just, thank God it's Fridays. Multiple Fridays. Thank God. I'll be honest, the S doesn't make sense. No, I agree. Yeah. Yeah, I would think that if you

drop the apostrophe, you drop the S. Yeah, exactly. Fair enough. That makes more sense than the apostrophe, you drop the S. Yeah, exactly. Fair enough. That makes more sense than the apostrophe, but you could still, I feel like you could still do it without. Yep. Because it's like, Fridays make sense without the TGI. Yep. No one says

thanks, thank God it's Fridays. It's weird. Do you think, I didn't call them to put in the order, I just went online, do you think they have to answer the phone and say, thank God it's Fridays, this is Mark. I bet they don't. I just went online. Do you think they have to answer the phone and say, thank God it's Fridays. This is Mark. I bet they don't. Every day's Friday.

I'd like to put it in the timeline when I went, just Fridays. Right. Really? That's when I was going. Yep. I totally missed this

because I don't give a shit. Oh, well that's, we're trying to do some journalism here, so that's crazy. Well, I're trying to do some journalism here, so that's crazy. Well, I'm just saying, this whole controversy's going on right under my

radar. You had no idea. You gotta read more. I mean, you already said that you're not a Friday's guy to begin with. I do like the day Friday, but yeah, not this restaurant. Without the possessive S, I just want to make sure I'm clarifying that I'm talking about the day Friday, not the restaurant Friday. Okay.

There's a lot of confusion going around. Maybe that's why they added the S. Just because it was too confusing, people would think you're talking about the day of the week. Yeah, it's like Sonic Burger. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. No, that makes sense because... That was never confusing.

You might think of the Hedgehog, and it's not. It's the restaurant. It's different. Well, after that banger of an opening, should we get into the facts? The first TGI Friday's location opened in New York in 1965 as one of the first co-ed bars with the owner theorizing that the spot was popular with a younger crowd due to the invention of the birth control pill. Boy, there's a lot of layers to this one. I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

That's what he said. So bars, bars weren't co-ed. This is like the first, TGI Friday started as like one of the first singles bars. And it was in New York. Revolutionary. Before it franchised and everything. And then the owner said, yeah, I think everybody's just like they're getting drunk and fucking

and it's also the year that the birth control pill came out. So he's like and no one's having babies. So hell yeah. That's it. Damn, dude. Yep. Fuck all you want. That's what's up, dude. Yep. Fuck all you want. That's what's up. TGI Fridays, fuck all you want. All right.

The second TGI Fridays location opened in Memphis four years later and was locally known for heavy drinking and drug use. Many try to keep this tradition alive by doing cocaine in the TGI Fridays bathrooms, only uttering TGIF, bro, if they get caught. Where does the fact end and the Eric begin in that one? Do you see where there's a period? Do you see how it's the end of the sentence? That's the end of the fact.

I'll be honest. That one was, usually Eric likes to do a little quip at the end that was 85 eric that one yeah no from from what i get the second tgi friday is open in memphis four years later i think that's where the fact probably yeah that's where the fact that it was locally known for heavy drinking and drug use And many people have continued the tradition by doing cocaine in the bathroom. Who's doing cocaine at TGI Fridays? You gotta ask them, but you

have to catch them first and you'll know because they'll look at you and go, TGIF, bro. I'm asking you and I'm looking at you. Right? I don't know why you would ever ask me such a thing. That's why it's a fact. That's why it's a fact. That's why it's a fact. He knows. Personal experience. He was the one asking.

He was breaking them up. He was going, get back to fucking. There's a pill now. In 1997, TGI Fridays became the first American casual eatery to open in Moscow. A fact that I can only assume Pizza Hut despises. Oh no.

I love these narratives that we build over the episodes. We don't build narratives. We just spread information. There's more Russian collusion. It's true. It's right here. There's more Russian collusion. Listen.

Listen. Yep. You got to think about it. It's fucked up. You said listen, and then you didn't say anything it says it's the first american casual eatery so does that directly compete with pizza hut though i don't i wouldn't describe pizza as a casual eatery no it's not a casual no pizza hut pizza hut does uh pizza pizza hut does fast food, right?

What the fuck does Pizza Hut care? They're all about Russia. We did a whole episode. All right, don't yell at me. You're cutting out. We did a whole episode where Pizza Hut cared about Russia a lot. I agree with you. Don't look at me.

I'm agreeing with you. Go back to yelling at Jordan and cutting out. I just want to know why they're so angry in this fact i'm glad that this time i'm parked next to eric because when his uh shitty service keeps cutting out over the discord i can just still see him screaming even though i can't hear it there is what's funny is there's a little bit of a delay so i can see eric starting to yell before I can hear it. Yeah, people were meant to speak in person in real time. It's really an issue. Oh, yeah.

I mean, yeah, taking the show on the road is incredibly difficult, but we do it for you, I guess. I feel like it'll be easier, though, once we're all in the same place, like in the same vehicle. We'll kind of eliminate that oh yeah yeah we're gonna buy we're gonna buy like a face jam econoline van when you get a van for sure soup it up but then how are we gonna we'll have to be on one microphone why are we talking about why how would we be able to sit far enough from each other to not how do we do it in the office we sit at a table but like that's that's like that's a bunch of distance. We aren't going to have that much distance in a sedan.

You're thinking of a shitty van, bro. We're going to get a big-ass van, and we're going to put a table in it. Look at that van over there, Eric. You see that one? That's what we're talking about. Ah, bigger than that. I'm going bigger. Bigger than that.

Oh, baby. Yeah, dude. You can get a longer van than that. Like the one that, you know, like you don't want to see driving around your neighborhood. You go, uh-oh, and you bring your kids inside. We're going to get one of those vans. Who's going to drive? Does Nick drive the van?

Who drives the van? No, someone else will have to drive the van. Nick does audio. I also, I want to be clear when I say ticket on the road. We're going to be driving while we do the show. We're not going to park somewhere. Someone's going to be clear when I say ticket on the road. We're going to be driving while we do the show. We're not going to park somewhere. Someone's going to be driving. Yeah, we're all going to be in the back at a table in the van,

probably going 60, 70 on the highway, and we'll just do the show. Otherwise, how are we going to be on the road? We can't stop in the middle of the road. Right. This is the test. This is the equipment test. But once everything's up and running, we're all in the same place. We're tearing ass.

everything's up and running, we're all in the same place. We're tearing ass. You're talking about doing like 75 on the freeway. Somebody's driving and we're in the back doing a podcast? Yeah. It's gonna, how would we even the sound, it would be so loud. It would be so loud. Nick will figure it out.

Look at him. Nick, you'll figure it out, right? He's shaking his head. We'll get two thumbs up. Eric, here's what we'll do. Just in case, we'll go 80 and we'll get room tone. Then we just cut it out later. Yeah. Call it road tone. Road tone, sure.

We'll get that. We'll hang a mic out the window. We'll cover our bases. Please, let me get back to the facts here. We're right in the middle of it. Oh, right, right, right, right. This is crazy. We got so off track here.

Some claim TGI Fridays is struggling now because it has lost its quote unquote cool factor and the closure of shopping malls. I think, that's Eric, it's because they have something called quote bucket of bones on their menu and they expect you to order it like a gremlin? I can actually picture Eric ordering something called the bucket of bones. Oh, yeah. For sure. Eric, can we do a quick role play?

Think about, talk about bucket of bones. for sure Eric Eric can we do a quick can we do a quick role play think about talking about bucket of bones I'm talking about y'all got bucket of bones oh we got him we got him in spades oh this guy wants the bucket of bones TGIF bro

that's what they do they do cocaine in the bathroom and they come out and they go, bucket of bones for the table. Man, what a cool restaurant. What a cool factor. Last fact. A 2019 $5 million class action lawsuit filed by a New York woman claimed that the TGI Friday's potato skin chips contain no actual potato skins.

I am involved in a similar lawsuit with Cheetos over not having any toes to suck in the bag. Currently, there are no settlements in either suit. What were you doing when you wrote this fact sheet? This one's up there, man. Like, what time was it? Yeah. It's like 3 o'clock in the morning. The fuck are you talking about?

Have you not gone outside for a while? What are you talking about? Listen, I'm in the middle I'm in the middle of a lot of different projects right now and sometimes you stay up real late and you go and you go oh shit

I have to write that fact sheet for face jam we have to go eat we have to go eat that hamburger in six and a half hours. What should I put here? I don't know. Sucking on toes.

Jesus Christ. He was just looking at potato skins and Cheetos. I get it. So I'm hoping that they settle by giving me money or putting toes in the bags. I feel like this may be the first time we have to like, if we were to post this fact sheet on Twitter, they would label it like possible misinformation. Yeah.

No. Learn the facts about Cheetos. They would be like, just so you know, this is straight up bullshit, this fact sheet. They can't do that. They can. I'm signing a face jam order that says that they can't do that. They can. I'm signing a face jam order that says that they can't do that.

I'm just saying, I'm all for it. I hope they do it. Because this is crazy what you've just forced me to read here. Bucket of bones, that's a thing. TGIF, bro, that's real.

This is propaganda is what I'm reading here. Pizza Hut, this is all true. Birth control, this all makes sense. The Pizza Hut part, I actually believe. They were probably pretty pissed, Jordan didn't understand the reference

he doesn't even know what the hell you're talking about but they were probably pretty pissed I get it, I just don't know why they're so mad at TGA Fridays, that's their thing Russia's their thing they're moving in on their location they're trying to take, listen, if you opened a house in a

neighborhood, you'd be pissed if people started moving in around it. You'd be like, oh. Doesn't that, isn't that the definition of a neighborhood? People moving in around your house? No, they're ruining your view and stuff, you know? You need to take a break, dude. Oh, that's why Pizza Hut's's mad they had like a nice view of the kremlin and then yeah a dj friday's popped up they're like what the fuck okay i get it now

i'm thank you i'm supposed to do i don't want to get too off topic of face jam here because this is what it's all about but i'm supposed to do another show with eric tomorrow and i think i might have to let his team know that he's not up for it because this is crazy i don't know what the hell's wrong with him he needs time off he needs to sleep or something he needs more drugs or less drugs i don't know which one it is but you need something this is crazy i know what you're talking about uh-huh he's nodding in agreement and he keeps sniffing for some reason No No He's making

He keeps pulling his collar like it's really hot He's really hot It's hot in here you know It's warm So the thing we ate Is the Friday's loaded cheese Fry burger Cheese fry burger Not cheese burger with fries So the thing we ate is the Friday's Loaded Cheese Fry Burger. Yeah.

Cheese Fry Burger. Not Cheese Burger with fries. Yeah. Cheese Fry. Yes. The description is as follows. The Loaded Cheese Fry Burger features a pure beef patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, and red onions

topped with loaded bacon cheese fries and poblano queso all sandwiched between a toasted plain bun that's skewered with a loaded potato skin. There's a truck right next to Eric that's going to murder him. This is fucked up. We're getting sharked again. 1,450 calories. Is that the same guy? Was that a different car? No, this is a different car.

Oh, shit. He's also in like three different spots. Yeah. He's got a big truck. He needs a lot of parking space. I'm going to throw this out there, guys. He could be shopping. Where? Where is he shopping? I don't know what you're saying.

We're in a parking lot. Oh, there he goes. He's got to pick up. No, he's gone. He's got to pick up his TGI Friday's order. Well, he wants to get a little closer to Friday's. He doesn't want to walk all this way. There's closer spots. Watch, that guy's going to park and he's going to go into Friday's. Anyway.

The description of this is a very normal burger. Yes. And then it just goes off the rails. Why skewer it with a potato skin that, from what I've heard, doesn't even have real potato in it. Allegedly. Well, that's the chips. Soup pending. Oh.

That wasn't the chip? No, it says, no, there's a thing, it says chips. Okay. This is why you have to pay attention. This is why you pay attention to the fact sheet. Loaded potato skin. Yeah, the the skin chips don't contain actual potatoes it's two different things i get what he's saying i'll be honest i ate i ate the loaded potato skin it didn't taste like potato so that's just what i was basing it

off now it tasted like watery it tasted like water it was gross okay I don't know what's up with you today. You look off. You look nervous. Things are tasting like water. I didn't say it tasted like water. Listen, I went into TGI Fridays. Yes, I went to the bathroom. Then I picked up the food. Then I picked up the food.

Then now we're here. And I know I don't have much of an appetite. That's fine. It's not a big deal. Our order is so expensive because you got a bucket of bones hidden in your car somewhere. Stop with the bucket of bones, okay? No more bones for you. You have too many bones.

Your bone quota has been reached, okay? Stop. Stop. Eric reached out to their media email address. They emailed back, quote, I will compile that information for you. What is your deadline and what story? Peyton Sadler, end quote.

I told them it was for Face Jam. They did not respond to my email. What an adventure. I'm sorry, I read ahead of you a little bit and I was just laughing the entire time What an adventure. I'm sorry, I read ahead of you a little bit, and I was just laughing the entire time because there was only one more sentence. Wow. So we got nothing.

We got nothing on this thing. Not a damn thing. I mean, I really reached out and said, hey, give me information. And they said, yeah, I'll give you information. What's this for? And I said, Face Jam. And they did not like that answer.

That's crazy. And they said, no way. Why did they ask what story? What do they care? Are they vetting who writes about TGI Fridays? It's going to be an expose? Guys, we're talking about TGI Fridays here. Non-possessive.

We have to decide which outlet we want to give our attention to, and this one's just not worth our time. Only positive coverage of TGI Friday. Positive reacts only for TGI Fridays and their hamburger with french fries on it well I was gonna say I'm glad we got to the part where you read it because I couldn't I knew it was a burger I didn't

remember a lot of times we decide on this like a week prior yeah and then we do it and I was eating it I was going what the hell is on this thing I don't even know what the fuck I'm eating. Like, I know it's a burger. What the fuck am I eating? I can't wait to get to that part in the show.

And I didn't read ahead. Because I was like, I really want to know what I'm fucking eating. Everything's crunchy. Why is it so crunchy? And wet. They give it to you. Why is it wet? It was so wet.

Why? Why? So they give it to you in the little to-go container. You open it up. The burger is wrapped in foil. You open that up, and there's the fucking wet burger. Yeah. And to the side is a pile of french fries which you don't really

need because they're already in the burger and uh the potato skin that somehow you're supposed to skewer yourself now yep and then uh the lettuce tomato onion and pickles yep uh we're on the side yeah we're on the side as well and so you have to peel off the top of the bun, which is like melted to the cheese. It's like peeling away clothes off a burn victim. Then you got to like insert the other stuff. Go back to eating the burger. It's such a fucking mess. I've never seen michael so shocked

you said feeling close off a burn victim and it was like he was like a deer in headlights like what the fuck what the fuck he's not wrong the shot it was two-way shock. Here's the thing, okay? I got to wonder, this is what I don't know. Ordering it to go, did they separate that just because it was to go? Or does that shit normally get piled on the burger? Because some places they do that anyway when you plate it. But some places are like... There's only one way to find out. Eric, go in and order one and sit down.

Yeah. That's the only way we can know. And we'll go to the bathroom first and then you order one no because exactly what you're saying I kind of like that I have no problem with like slapping that shit on because I don't eat tomatoes so it's like

oh I'm gonna pick them off don't put them on my burger but then you went to open it and it's like glued shut I mean the cheese was fucking glued and like you said you're pulling it and like all the bun is the lower part of the buns ripping off the top of the bun because the cheese is just fucking glue. Like, you know, I didn't I didn't get fucking queso. OK, I got glue.

That shit was not creamy or a liquid of any kind. It was glue cheese. Yes. It had like re solidsolidified into something else. So I pulled the bun, started ripping it, and then just kind of shoved it in like a taco. I was just like, fuck it. And I just smashed the lettuce and the onions and shit in.

Then I started eating it, and I started screaming wet and crunchy. Man. It's a burger. And it's not like, but the thing is, it was that much work to get the lettuce, tomato, onion, whatever on there. And I did that and it made no difference.

It made absolutely no difference. I took one bite without it. It tasted the same. Nothing, nothing to the hamburger. Nothing. Well, it added lettuce and onions and tomatoes. No! I disagree. I disagree. I agree that they were added lettuce and onions and tomatoes. No! I disagree. I disagree. I agree that they were added to it, but it didn't

add to it. Oh, you guys are getting philosophical. That's why you lost me. We're layered like the cheese. Was the cheese layered? Yes, there's American cheese on the hamburger and then loaded potato fry things with cheese on top of that.

Wet burn victim. He's going to want a shirt now that just says burn victim. And people are going to go, oh my God, are you a burn victim? And then he's going to say, what? No, let's have a face jam and then just run away. That's what it says on the back. Crazy. You're going gonna have people go

hey i like the part where he talked about the burn victim i designed a shirt that makes you look like a burn victim here it is it's gonna get 35 upvotes it's gonna get 35 upvotes on the subreddit and we have to like it on the facejam account otherwise someone's gonna get mad like don't make a shirt about a burn victim. Don't do it. That's okay. I think the Face Jam social media team is okay with people getting mad at them. They don't pull any punches. No, that's true.

Yeah, they're a tough group. They spit straight facts, and sometimes people don't like those facts. It's true. Eric pointed at his head. I couldn't tell if he was agreeing with me or not. I'm thinking about it. I get it. I get what it's like to like facts.

Straight facts. No, you're holding up Eric's dream list is what you're holding up. When he says it, he's talking about facts like a fax machine. Right there. If you want to know how this fact sheet gets created, Eric wakes up in a cold sweat

screaming from a dream and grabs a pen and just starts writing. And then that's the fact sheet for the next day. Cheetos. Why no toes? See, what he does is, the genius is he writes it first, then finds out what the restaurant is later and just adds it. We should start reading the facts from the second sentence first, and we'll see how it actually starts. sentence first and we'll see how it actually starts.

There's people in the distance pointing and looking at us record this in a parking lot. Yeah, you're talking about that guy and that woman walking by? Yep. Uh-huh. He just whispered that's Face Jam. I could hear him. Yeah, we're witnessing Face Jam. That's so cool. Yeah.

She's holding an umbrella, but it ain't raining. Yep. Should we rate this piece of shit? Already? Wow. Oh, this is so short. I mean, yeah, get to it. Yeah, sure.

Jordan, we didn't even do the ad yet. Everyone shut up. Do you think they're spice rats? Do you think that's why they pointed at us? They're like, oh, it's Space Jam. We're spice rats. I still don't know if spice rats would like us or not, though. That's true.

They might be our natural born enemy. Oh, yeah. We might be enemies. Jordan sure hates them. Spice rat was certainly created out of hate. We can all agree on that. He was like, these fucking spice rats. Yep.

Trying to understand while calling people a rat. I love the rats. Yep. Trying to understand while calling people a rat. I love the rats. It's out of love. You can choose whatever rodent you are. Calm down, you rat. I'm on your side. Listen, you rat fuck. I'm trying to help you.

listen you bat fuck I'm trying to help you we just don't have a lot to say about Fridays and I went there it's Fridays you know they have food and you eat the food and you get drinks

and they love and they love God. I can do all that minus the God shit anywhere else. Whoa. Oh. Wow. So you're saying you can't, but you'll go to Fridays for the God shit is what you're saying? No, I'm just saying that it offers-

You said you can do all of it but the God stuff. I'll say stuff because I don't want to be vulnerable. Yeah, but I don't care about that anyway, so it's fine. Oh. Outside of Fridays, you don't care about it. I choose to worship not at a restaurant. Gotcha. Jordan goes,

hey guys, want to go to G's? Because he only cares about the G. You mean Fridays? No, no, no. I don't care about any other shit. Put the God back in TGI Fridays. Do they make you pray when you eat, when you dine in? I've never experienced it.

Nuh-uh. They didn't make me do the sign of the cross before they handed me the hamburgers, so I'm not really sure where they stand. It's been blessed, I got it. That's why I'm so wet! The thing is, I say bless you, right? And if my kid sneezes, I say bless you.

And it's like, not really, though. But what else do you say? Yeah, well, I mean, it's just a dumb thing you say to someone. Right. Yeah. Make a new sneeze word. Give me a new word. Gesundheit?

You sound like an asshole. Okay? I didn't fucking say that. You say salute. That just means hello. That's better. That's better. I'm stupid.

I only speak one language. I'm not going to dip into another language just for one word because we don't have a good one if you sneeze if you sneeze twice they say dinero and then if you sneeze three times they say a more sometimes I say no I don't want more I want less sometimes people sneeze people sneeze and I say stop that and then it comes across as rude but I know that's true what do you what do you rude. But I don't. Yeah, that's true. What do you say in English? I don't know.

My car turned off again. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you. Watching Eric's making me hot. TGIF, bro. TGIF, bro. You guys are mess. You guys are messes. Where are we going to rate this thing?

The only thing I have to say is that one, it's a mess. We established that. It's very salty. Clear. The fries. The fries were salty. The potato skin was salty. The burger itself was very salty.

Just a lot of salt going on. And that's like, okay, that's like the spice of white food. So the spice of white. It just seemed like a poor attempt to make the food taste better. Eric shot daggers at me right now. I wanted to know how he was going to make Spice Rat fit into this episode in the review, and here we are. Salt is the spice. The spice of white food.

So I suppose by eating this, I too am the spice rat. Get out of here. Get out of here, spice rat. I mean, you're a spice rat of a different vein in that you're a rat for eating a TGI Friday. Right. TGI Friday patrons are just called rats. They're a rat. TGI Friday patrons are just called rats.

Anyway, the burger sucks. It's like, it's a 33. Wow. No. That's so low. Crazy. I mean. Shrug for merit. It sucks.

TGI Friday sucks. Whose idea was this? Michael looked so mad when you said that. No, see, the thing is, though, TGI Fridays can suck. Burger King sucks ass. I thought we made that abundantly clear. Their nuggets got very good ratings. Yep.

I don't care if the restaurant's good or not. It's what we ate. So TGI Fridays, fuck them. I don't care. They can change their name to whatever. Michael will eat it. Yeah. Just give me my drink. Give me my

$3 pirate drink. If it says Caribbean in the name, I'm going on a fucking trip. Okay? I take the napkin out and I pretend it's a sail and I wrap it around the straw

and I'm on the open seas. You know? Set sail. Um, it was a fucking mess. Um, you know, something,

whatever I said at the beginning, mush mountain. Yeah, mush mountain. Yeah. The fries really contribute to that mushness. It was so many minutes ago. But it was fine. It was fine.

The burger itself was fine. All of the extra shit for what it was, for it being like a specialty burger, which I feel like this is the first big one we've had in a while that's like, oh, it being like a specialty burger, which I feel like this is, you know, the first big one we've had in a while that's like, oh, this is like a thing. You know, it's not just a normal thing. Tasted like a normal fucking thing. It really, as I was eating it,

was like, it's a fucking cheeseburger with french fries on it. There wasn't like anything to the elements that created it. Like the queso wasn't spicy or like it didn't stand out. I said it didn't even feel like queso. It was just dried cheese.

It was just a different cheese. The potato skin, which is funny because you told me afterwards you were supposed to skewer it. I opened it up and it was almost like, you know when you order something,

you get like fries and one onion ring finds its way into the bag. It was like that. huh what's this one potato nick asked if he was supposed to have it oh yeah nick nick thought that he got like the surprise onion ring he's like oh it's no that comes with it i said i guess i'll eat that i ate it and went that wasn't very good no it wasn't i mistakenly did not assemble it as part of the burger. I just ate it like a fool. But it was fine.

It tasted like a TGI Friday's burger, and the only reason those burgers are good is because they're usually covered in some kind of Jack Daniel's sauce, like their steaks, and it didn't... Did the queso not do it for you? It was... Nah, because it was so dry. Yeah. It's weird because in a way it was wet but it wasn't like bold i guess like like the bun and like holding

it felt wet but eating it it was so dry it was dry because well the french fries didn't fucking help there's fucking 20 french fries on it they describe it as a toasted plain bun so it's pretty weird we got a plain ass bun bitch eat it um i'll give it a 55 wow i did eat it in about 90 seconds average score of 44 yeah that's pretty i think personally i think that I think that's fair. I think that's a 44 meal. It was $65 for all of us to eat. That's crazy. It's way overpriced. I could have gotten so much food at Burger King for that.

We could have gotten 10,000 nuggets. All the nuggets that we could have had. We could have gotten the 10,000 pack. Nuggets that we could have had. We could have got the 10,000 pack. We would have had 500. We would have had 520 spicy nuggets. And I could have eaten at least 20 of those. Exactly.

And then I would have gone, I'm good. Yeah. I would have stopped at 18 and went, I'm full. Yep. No more. Saying that, by the way, that reminds me. It's nothing to do with anything. We've now rated the food. Burger King and nuggets makes me think of by the way, that reminds me. It's nothing to do with anything. We've now raided the food.

Burger King and nuggets. Makes me think of sauce. Eric, you missed this. You were getting the food. We were sitting here. Or maybe you were here. You must have been here because I couldn't have spoken to Nick. You were here afterwards.

I don't know what I'm talking about. I joined this call last. I blacked out. You're just so – I'm trying to ignore you today because you're just so I'm trying to I'm trying to I'm trying to ignore you today cause you're just being like I don't know I don't know who you are I don't know what's going on

over there just like it's like I'm a limo driver I don't know who's fucking back there but he was talking about sauce and he goes

oh I I gotta go by the office like I gotta I gotta head by the office I gotta get all my sauce from my desk and I was like what do you mean and he goes well I'm out of sauce at my house

so I gotta go by the office and I said something like weird like you're out now why are you out of sauce and he just goes oh I mean I got sauce I got bottles of sauce but I don't have like little packets and I just go wait wait wait wait so you're out of sauce but like I'm not out of sauce

obviously I'm just out of little packets of sauce that I have at my desk and I want to go get it because I said oh are you going to use them or do you just need to hug them he's out of a type of sauce

that he needs and therefore he's stressed out about it and he goes well yeah well no no no obviously I've got fucking 15 bottles of sauce

but not the little packets they're just sitting they're just sitting on my desk scared and alone so I'm going to go get them they're crying out for daddy they just sitting on my desk scared and alone so I'm gonna go get them crying out for dad what's gonna happen to them I have to save them all right you guys ready for snack attack all right I'm gonna run

you know what I'm gonna do this time too i'm gonna say what the hell they are oh it's a good idea that's so the last the last snack attack we did in the parking lot was those pretzels eric just handed us and then afterwards i listened to the podcast and i went we never said what they were like we said they were pretzels we never we oh no an earbud fell out and it's under my seat well that's gone guys gone. Guys, I'm one earbud down, so I'm only half listening now. Jordan, what the fuck? Jordan's recording stopped. Eric, are you listening?

He's not listening. His headphones are unplugged. Nick, what the fuck is happening? It's just me and you. We lost 50% of the cast. Eric, you're not wearing your headphones. Jordan's recording stopped. Why?

Yeah, get over there. Jump's recording stopped. Why? Yeah. Get over there. Jump on his car. Why did his recording stop? I don't know. Look at him now. He's fiddling. All right. What are you offering me here?

Okay. So it's either the turkey or the bison. Give me bison, baby. Jordan's investigating. Jordan's stopped. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Nick is getting out to look. There is going to be cross-contamination. I will continue giving you play-by-play coverage. Yeah. He's okay. Nick is getting out to look. There is going to be cross-contamination. I will continue giving you play-by-play coverage. Eric. Oh my God. Eric is so sweaty. His, the back of his shirt is drenched.

Okay. So I don't think Jordan lost really much of anything. They're all talking now. They're having a meeting. Okay. Eric's coming back. All right. Daddy's rolling again. All right. You're rolling again. They're having a meeting. Okay. Eric's coming back. All right. Daddy's rolling again.

All right. You're rolling again? What is it? Jordan was mad about his recording and then said, I know what I'm doing. And I don't know what to say about that. I don't know how Nick's going to kind of edit that. I just kept going. I kind of gave it a play by play. Because I, believe it or not, I didn't stop my

recording for no reason. Yeah, I mean, I'm still rolling. It's all good. There was a point where Jordan's recording stopped and you were out of your car, so it was just Nick and I holding down the fort. And I looked at him like, don't talk! Don't talk! They were worried because they didn't know when it stopped. But I said it stopped

when it stopped. Yeah, you caught it. You caught it. So I didn't, I should have clarified that. That's why they were freaking out. But we didn't lose anything. So I have two things to say here. One, okay, we were given, they're called Epic Bars. Protein, they're little protein bars that are gluten free.

They say protein bars. I mean, they look like fucking, it's jerky. It's beef jerky is what it is. But I've got, I've got bison. And you have turkey? I have 100% natural turkey used turkey. I don't know what that means. Yeah, I've

got, I've got the same thing, but replace turkey with bison. It also says almond and cranberry. Hi, Michael, Jordan. I love that you hated the meat chips I sent for Snack Attack livestream. Here's another interesting that's in quotations product I've come across during my work testing that

is sure to not disappoint one way or another, Dan Peppers. And that's the first thing I wanted to mention. The other thing I wanted to mention, which you guys couldn't see, when Eric went over to your car his fucking back is dripping wet. He is soaked. Your shirt's all wet, like from sweat.

You're looking at me shocked like you don't know. You okay? No, I can't. Hang on. Wait. He's stuttering now. What's happening? What is wrong with you?

Oh, fuck. Go to the doctor. He left the call and he's stuttering now. He's- Bye. What's happening? What is wrong with you? Oh, fuck. Go to the doctor. He left the call and he's fiddling. This is crazy. I'm back. I'm back, baby. What the fuck is happening? Are you-

Does somebody have to drive you home? I couldn't hear a word you were saying the whole time you were talking about all the food. What I said was, why is your back so wet? You're wet. You're soaked. Your shirt is drenched. Yeah, I'm soaked.

I'm hot, baby. I'm burned up. It's hot in here. You're a little spice rat. It's summertime. And I'm cooking. I'm wet as a hamburger. and I'm cooking. I'm wet as a hamburger, and I'm ready to go. Does anyone have his emergency contact to come pick him up?

Listen. I'm concerned about him driving out of here. You got paper towels, right? Just dab them. I don't know what's going on. How long were you in that Friday's It's weird He acted like

So Nick and I got here And he acted like He was just pulling up But I saw Eric like in the parking lot already And he acted like He like came out of the back of the DJ Got in his car and like pulled up And was like oh I see you guys.

I'm going to go run in and get the food. It was weird. I think he said to you, I'm going to head back in. And you said, back in? And he said, I mean, go in. Anyway, the jerky's very dry. Yep. Well, you got turkey, and Michael got bison.

Does it taste like bison? Because it's bison and cranberry, I think. No hint of cranberry whatsoever. I think I got an almond. We should probably take pictures of that stuff. Why didn't you do that? We'll just Google it. God damn it.

Guys, come clean the number of times that we have given the social team a google picture of the snack or food because we forgot to take a picture of it you'd be shocked you'd be shocked how many times we've done that and we have long

discussions about keeping this a secret and now I feel like I can't keep it bottled up anymore uh-huh the burger king episode that was not our picture of the mozzarella sticks that was google i feel so much better now from that not from this bison bar this is awful it's just like it's dry but it's soft's soft. It's got like, it's too soft. It's too mushy. It's soft? Yeah, like it's not chewy. It breaks apart very easily and it's very dry.

So nothing about it really resembles jerky or good food. I mean. It's a bad snack. Should I give it a number? Did you give it a number yet? No, why would I ever give a number before you? This is we're not even eating the same food, and I still won't do it 28 yeah, you're not wrong. It's it's not good this thing's like a 20. I'm gonna give it a 25 Wow It's not whoa yours must really suck must really suck Dude you would hate this

You wanna trade real quick? Yeah I'm not good now Eric can you facilitate that? I mean You shouldn't trade Well I'll just buy I'll take a bite off the other end

You shouldn't be doing anything You shouldn't be out of the house right now And here you are Where are your parents? People at the house right now and here you are where are your parents people at the TGI Fridays and there they are they're over there risking their lives to be pirates do you want me to run these back and forth to you

so you can trade yeah I'm gonna touch the other side they must be at least 6 feet apart right yeah no Eric doesn't want to do it Jordan doesn't want to do it. Jordan doesn't want to do it. I'm just going to say his is bad too. Jordan, I'm going to give your

turkey bar, it's a little bit better than mine. It's actually a 35. That's what I think I would have given it if I had eaten it. I'm going to give yours, I think, a 25. Wow. Whoa! I'm shocked. I'm theoretically shocked you gave it the same rating as me. Wow.

Are you sure you want to take a look at it? Does that look like a 25? Oh, that's definitely a 25. I'm kind of squinting so I can see for sure. But yeah, that's got 25 written all over it. So what's the average on that? The bison's a 25. What's the turkey?

Can you figure it out? You said 20. I don't know if you guys know this. It's cutting in and out a lot. Oh, my God. What are the odds that it's not his headphones at all? This whole segment where you guys are rating the jerky, I'm just kind of looking back and forth and going,

ha-ha, yeah. I'm wondering why he keeps looking at me and smiling and nodding his head. I can't hear a word of what you're saying. I can't hear any of it. He's doing it right head. I can't hear a word of what you're saying. I can't hear any of it. He's doing it right now. I can't hear a word of it. He's just looking at me smiling with all of his teeth out.

Uh-huh, yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. I've been trying to fiddle with my phone because I can hear Nick. All you do is fiddle! You've been fiddling for months now! You're a fiddler! It's so I can get...

We had a whole argument before we started and I immediately called Eric on his fiddling and he said, no, it's not me. And he kept going to Nick going, they're cutting in and out, Nick, not me, right? And Nick's like, no, it's definitely you. They sound fine.

Totally fine. Nick sounds just fine. And now here you are falling apart. Next time, here's what we do next time. He can't even fucking hear me, so it doesn't matter. Next time, Nick has to put a window, like a cabbie window behind him. Eric's got to sit behind Nick because he needs an adult to help him do the show so he can fucking hear. Stop looking at me and smiling.

He's just smiling at me. We need to do the tin cans with the string and then connect them in the parking lot. It's like a language barrier. I hate you. I hate you. Oh my God. You're going to set your airbags off, Michael.

No, that's why I'm punching my door. I don't want to have airbags in my door. I only heard... When you unload on someone and they just stare at you with open eyes. And you're like, uh-huh. It just seemed raging. I heard some of what you said. Eric's going to listen to this episode when it all like mixed together and be like, oh.

I want Eric to listen to this goddamn episode, record himself listening to it, and then send it to me so I know what he would have done. Alright, I gotta admit, Michael cut out a little bit for me there too. Hey! Just smile and nod. I'm losing it. I'm losing it.

It's good. it's a good job this is a good episode yeah shirts we didn't even do an ad man go us we can do an ad for ourselves the

100% eat shirt will be restocked this Thursday June 11th at 10 a.m. Oh, that's right. Awesome. Get it. Get it before it's gone. These things sell out, so I don't know what else to tell you. We keep getting more every time.

Every time a new shipment comes in, there's more in stock, and all you jammers out there keep buying it up. So there'll be even more this time, but if you've missed the first two batches grab the third batch now june 11th you can tell all your friends you were there the third time it came around yep the hat sold out that'll be coming back in stock at some point we don't have a date on that oh i have pop sockets for you guys there's still pop sockets oh yeah give me one yeah i'll give you give me one. You can get the

Listen to Face Jam shirts and the Pride version of the 100% Eat shirts are both print to order. So those are still available if you want to snatch those up. Make sure you follow at Face Jam Pod on Twitter

for up to date information on whatever. Rate and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food. Yeah, do that. Like, really force them. Be like, you listen to this show, or I'm going to get Crazy Eric after you.

He's going to come to your window and just smile and nod. He's going to throw you in a TGI Friday's bathroom with Eric, and something's going to happen. TGIF, bro. Oh, man. All right. Are we done here? All right.

Is this the best episode that we've done?