100% Eat - The Blob & Chewless Meals %% Food Court

Episode Date: May 17, 2025

Our Heroes celebrated our 1 year anniversary with a live Food Court on youtube and we had to put it out for everyone. Did you see The Blob? Do you eat Oreos with Ham? WHAT is the update on the Cook Sucker? Our Hero Judges are here to set the record straight and dole out punishment to the lowly bugs with throw themselves on the mercy of the court. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bang bang the gavel bang the gavel bang the gavel we do it when we want to know he tells me should bang him Shut up Welcome you're in contempt of court. You'll get banged. Yeah watch out We'll have him do it. Yeah, he's gonna hit you with a footbridge. You better watch out Nick show everyone your cool ears He was starting this ago go let's bang Eric No one's no hey, it's court. Give you an option. You're gonna get banged or schlonged. Which is it? I don't want no. Thank you Thank you everyone for joining us. Thank you everyone for being here. Thank you because the court is now in session 100% eat food court is live to you celebrating our one-year anniversary

We're 100% one-year-old. That's right. That's true. What day was that the 11th? It was my birthday we all got shit canned and then the next day we went I guess we'll yeah, we'll make this a company Yeah I only remember cuz I was a day my sister like America It was and it was also today calling calling in from the bathroom Because it was also the day that food court like in this iteration was born great idea from Eric. Yeah Hey guys, I want to announce on this. I think we should do this. I came up with this great idea. I'm a classic genius.

The beginnings of ideas guy. Yep. The one year ago, we went live. We set everything up at patreon.com slash 100% eat. Thank you to everyone who supported us over the last year. And we did a live food court. We took your food crimes and then Jordan from the comfort of his home and Michael from the comfort of a closet at a wedding

In the middle of nowhere Yeah, was calling in And we were Sounded like you were in those mines again Yeah, laying down the law and now we figured for a one year anniversary You know what, this is maybe not the most convenient time for all people everywhere But, yes Nick was so mad Nick was furious got people chicken nuggets for the anniversary. But, yes.

Nick was so mad. Nick was furious about the chicken nuggets. I ate already! And then what did you have? Nuggets. Okay. But, he refuses to have the fries. He refuses to have the fries.

No, no fries. We started not joking, he went, get them off my desk. Get them away. Get them, get them, take them out of here. You have to do it! And I went, well they gotta at least stay till we start then. Save me! Yours also a cookie and a brownie over there. Yeah! Wow! Out of here. You have to do it! And I went, well they gotta at least stay till we start then. Save me!

There's also a cookie and a brownie over there. It's part of the family pack. He said, if anyone was gonna eat any, he snuck one in and I was like, just have one, cause then you probably won't even like it. And then you'll know you don't want any more. Eating them, and then, I think you question like, how many you ate.

He's like, well Jordan had more fries than me! Dude, he started telling us how many Jordan had how many fries? I'm not I had more than him and I had I Resented he immediately started just buying his chicken consumption. I'm equating it to how much right he's quietly clocking me I'm being like as long as I stay under what yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm safe great Well the food courts in session We have some new responses, some submissions, and you can have your priority submission read if you go over to patreon.com slash 100% eat.

That's where we get most of these from. We opened this one up a little bit different just because we were doing this for an anniversary celebration live on YouTube. Oh man, Nick has his mic back. Yeah. Oh man. Maybe it was, oh Man oh

Yeah, oh man. Oh man. Oh, he's his hair keeps coming off. I know but that's my bat down into the left It's why the your story on the year No, you can hide oh He's shy uh But we have some we have some new court cases and some more but before we get into it The chat the YouTube chat can't post images come on stop saying picture of But if you good this is just as funny I can picture it don't worry though You can get your rocks off cuz tomorrow. Yeah, we're doing a live episode never done it before Never lights in a person.

In person, yeah. But never live online with you. Streaming your Discord. And that's gonna be just in the Discord. You can post all your bald Eric pictures. However- However, we have decided, benevolently, if for whatever reason you can't afford a subscription

or Patreon's maybe just not your thing, whatever, we still wanna bring you something for this anniversary celebration. So on this YouTube channel that you're watching this here, we will be streaming just the chat, not us. You won't hear us and you won't see us, but you will see, I assume, Zan and every other little freak in the chat posting pictures and everything. And again, that's tomorrow at 1 PM central. If you're not able to watch all of these, you're not able to catch this live, that's okay. A vod of this will go up later.

And tomorrow's episode will be next week's episode. So you check it out twice. Very excited to do this. Very different, cool celebration. And we have even more celebration stuff. We talked about it in the episode that came out today. Jordan put together a whole video. Well, we just went, we just introduced an ad free tier.

This is perfect timing. This is excellent timing. This is insane. We just introduced an ad free tier. The $5, the bug tier is now ad free. Ad free for the podcast. So any tier on our Patreon membership, you can get the show ad free.

But I'm gonna miss the ad. So I went back and made a compilation of all of our best ads Insane From Face Jam Insane And how long's the video? Uh, well the neighborhood arc video is going to be at least two and a half hours of ads

Of ads And the best of compilation is about an hour and forty minutes Oh, okay Uh, the audio file where I pulled all the ads from which was nothing but ads was 10 hours. Oh my god and Yeah, it has no it doesn't because I had to I actually had to ask Nick for some spitting silly episodes because I knew there Were some good ones so we're gonna have had to add we're gonna have the ad cuts out soon and to be so you're gonna Miss the ads you can go back to be clear for the ad cut. We're not making any money. No But you can also see if the codes work. I

Suggest just change the number Facejam 21 yeah try 25 try 25. Maybe they maybe updated it. I don't know give it a shot I feel like it's worth noting so ad free now on patreon Awesome, add full add full two and a half hour ad video. That'll be out. Not sponsored and paid for by any of these ads. No. That'll be out later. That'll be coming soon. We also have coming soon. It's just very us. Yeah. I love those ads. I'm so glad this is happening.

And that's truly why we did it too. It wasn't like we just thought of it. We mentioned it here and there and people just kept going, I want it. I want it, I want it. It's definitely for the freaks. Yep. And then also- Oh, my Twitch links to the RT store, that's cool. Oh my God.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Also, the thing that Nick put together will be out soon as well, and that's the road trip movie. Oh yeah, that's awesome. Not the movie road trip. No, right. But Face Jam, the's not not the movie road trip no, but I face jam the road trip the movie can we though Still dedicate the road trip video to Michelle Trachenberg. Oh, yeah

Just your trip. Yeah, right. That was the your trip. I know I like that one. It's the best Yeah, yeah big ups Michelle Matt Damon is not in it. No Scotty doesn't know Sad don't worry sad day so finds out though a lot of celebration stuff But we are here to adjudicate some of these new court cases and let's begin With perhaps a retrial or an update on a previous case. You guys wanna bang me in?

Yeah. See how he wants it. Yeah, now he's asking for it. What do you mean? Jordan can hit you with this end and I'll hit you with this. Oh my God. He's a real DP girl. We got Dr. Pepper around here?

This is from Jay McPherson. Rainy Jay. Greetings once more, my royal judges. It is I, your most loyal of leeches. Since my original submission, I began trying to piece together why I started cookie sucking. This is the cook sucker.

Okay. And may have landed on the answer he got he got introspective. I like it feeling in my mouth Isn't that usually it I? Like to make the ice don't make the cookie happy It's for it's for the cookie not for me I Still do this on occasion, but not nearly as much because it hurts the top of my I'm fucking ready! It's not ready! It's a little too hard! And it's just random! Dude, we're once in a... You control the pace, not the cook!

Right. It's not like it's Captain Crunch, just tearing the roof of your mouth off. You know what I mean? Just slow that cook down! He's that cook-in! He's that cook-in. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. is that him? Right no people aren't clamoring Jay Jay Jay if you're here, and you want to try to explain yourself. This is live Why don't you jump why don't you jump on discord into the theater? We'll try to pull you in here. I promise Well, you promise we're looking for Rainy Jay

Too many people jumping in here that aren't Rainy Jay Is this not guys he just, okay, give me a second. Give me a second. Let me take this cook out of my mouth. Can I say real quick, in honor of our new American Pope, I'm feeling very papal today. Yeah, I hear that. With my robes, and they're black,

so it's like I'm the anti-Pope. Oh, shit. You are like the anti-Pope. I'm here too. Jordan's the anti-pope. The evil pope? I like that. I actually think that's cool. And I'm here too. Yeah. I'm like, well Jordan's the anti-pope, I'm anti-pope too. Yeah. I don't know what we stand for, but I'm, I'm, me too. We're co-popes.

Oh man. Co-poping. Okay, so, uh, Jay, when you get in here, go ahead and drop that, uh, hit a request to speak. Nick, Nick will grab you when he can. Uh, so, again, it hurts the roof of his mouth, and he did it at least once a week when he was a kid. All right. When this started, I will take potato chips, non wavy kinds only flavor matters not and suck all the salt and oil out of them. This renders them and not suck a potato chip without cracking it skill. This renders them not quite a mush, but someone reminiscent of how a soggy fry feels I will then eat the drained chip what?

Drained chip which is now just a plain potato. Why are you calling it a drain to chip? He's draining. It's all right all right Yeah, I got it. I got it there. We go Are kid all right Jay are you there? I got it there we go Are kid all right Jay are you there? Jay if you are we can't hear you didn't Nick mess it up. It's probably Nick's probably next one hang on I'm all over rating Irish. Oh, okay. We hear Jay Jay. Are you there? Oh? Hi, okay

Catching about every other word here. That's good. Well, it's cuz of all the old cook in his mouth. Uh-huh Okay, what now? Yeah, go ahead Awesome. Hi. Um, I just um, I'm shaking a little bit. I'll be nervous. It's not your first time. It's the... I described myself as a leech in the first one. You've killed a Michael? Just throw yourself at the mercy of the court. When I described myself as a leech in the first one, originally I was going to describe myself as a vampire, but then I went, that's too cool for this. Yeah, no, leech is more appropriate for sure. Yeah, leech is right. Originally I was going to describe myself as a vampire, but then I went, that's too cool for this.

Leech is more appropriate for sure. Yeah, leech is right. So you talk about eating these potato chips until they're drained. Is that where this all started? Yeah, is that where it kicked off for you? Okay. I think so. My earliest memory of doing this was in elementary school And I think I can't remember if it was because I wanted to try to make Pringles in my mouth I really wanted I wanted Pringles. I didn't have any so I just like the cheese off the burrito I'm a fan of making things in my mouth. Okay, so I So is he I?

Support that behavior you put salami and cheese in your mouth and you just eat them both at the same time. You're making sandwich in your mouth. Exactly. I was doing that this morning. You were doing that this morning? With what? Do you drain the salami as well? I don't know if that's possible. I don't know if there's enough liquid in a salami to drain it. Only one way to find that.

There's a lot of grease. So, so you... So it just naturally turned... Liquid in a salami only one way to find grease So there's a lot of grease so so you so just naturally you turn chip it turned into cook suck it and then cooks But where did so like how does chips go to cookies go to cookies dumped in milk? Well when you're a kid you get like those little like shitty packs of Oreos that suck okay, and They suck in there dry. I was like how can I make this better? When you're a kid you get like those little like shitty packs of Oreos that suck okay? and They suck and then dry it. I'm trying to make this better These suck also I Think it started as me going I wonder cuz this kind of works for potato chips I think I went maybe this will kind of work as

like Can I make kind of like a shitty pringle cookie? To me it seems like it seems like the natural starting spot would be the cookie because you're usually dunking them in milk and then you're Something but to give you credit you're you're that's the natural starting spot if you plan to head sure You're you're that's the natural starting spot if you planned ahead sure yeah So you're like yeah, I'm the security's root of cook right I was eight right he was it wasn't thinking You still didn't understand textures of anything is putting in his mouth, so you just go. He's just something like why isn't this Pringles? I learned that Pringles aren't made like normal No, that's true. That's true true. You can't even call them potato.

They're crisps. Yeah. They're not chips. So now we know Cook's Origins, which is a hell of a sequel. Do you still? I woke up this morning, I set an alarm for this because I missed the first one,

I was really upset about it. And I checked my email to be like, did I get a food court summons? And I didn't. And I was like, okay, then they're not gonna talk about me. We were just gonna read it. Oh yeah, yeah, we were just gonna hammer you without you being here.

Then you went, and then you went fucking get me, yeah. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. So- I'm so glad I got to read the chat. Oh, I'm so glad I'm here, I'm here. I'm so glad I got to be in the chat room. Oh, I'm so glad that you were able to jump on so we could talk with you. It takes a lot of courage. It does, especially as a cook sucker like you to be so brave as to jump on here.

Now let me ask, when was the last time you sucked cook? Since I posted it, I've been asked to make a cook suck tier list. So I've been like kind of slowly working on that. Okay. Awesome. This is actually, this is actually really good. And I want to develop this with you when it's done.

Will you reach out to us on Patreon or something? I would love to post this and let people know what your tier list is Jays cook suck How I don't know how we got away with this where you know food court We're supposed to like judge crimes, and I feel like the worst crimes we put them on such a Regret just crimes are now getting side gigs You may recognize me from cook such a person. He here's my new cook suck God forward by bill

Listen Come to agree these are I think that they are in comparable. I think I think I think cook listen. I'm fine to agree. These are I think that they are in common I think I think I think cook something is weird. I've tried bilkin. It's vile okay, so Okay, there you go. It's true. It's wasn't your gag reflex Some people are natural Okay, Jay we sentence you to finish your tearless yeah yeah yeah community service can slam the gavel on them I yeah go thank you I want to thank you Jay thank you for coming on and

thank you for giving us this gift truly one of the best I food courts that we have I cannot believe that they were here and we're like yeah I want to defend myself. Yeah, so I was doing it today. Like, bro, what? You were what? I was, I was really worried you're going to talk about me. So I sent an alarm to make sure I was there. Then, then I screamed, me, me, me, me, me. I love this audience. This has been great. What a what a YouTube anniversary celebration Again, we'll be live tomorrow with a brand new episode, but let's get into one that actually was emailed to us

Just a little bit ago. I don't I haven't read this one. So I don't know what this is. This is from Carolyn P Carolyn grace and it's Carolyn P. This is, please read! Heart, hands, emoji. Okay. Well, that's how you get it done. You've convinced me. That's how you get it done. Don't let the secret out. Hi guys! I hope this gets to you in time. Probably not, but hopefully it will be saved for another time. My boyfriend has insisted! I submit my food combinations for the food court, so here they are. Cheese doodles and ketchup.

Cheese doodles specifically? Yeah, I think it's like a Cheeto, but like it says can be Jacks or Cheetos. So they're already in a direction of like, I know a specific brand of cheese doodle. Yeah. I don't like that. It can be ketchup.

I mean, it can be a few, but not any. I wouldn't put ketchup it can be ketchup. I mean it can be a few but not any mm-hmm. I wouldn't put Ketchup on Cheetos like the are these the puff the puffy ones I imagine right? I imagine yeah, I think it's the puffs. Yeah, well they can both suck a dick now compared to that But I know right so this one is uh okay Oreo cookies and ham What the fuck? Yeah, I had I had to like process that. I think you fucked up your snack.

Yeah, right? The ham and cracker and it's like, hmm. Your Lunchable got a fucking. Who's getting a ham and cheese Lunchable in this pizza though? Come on. I love watching the chat when the delay is over and they hear the thing and it's just people going,

no, fuck, no, no, no, gross, no. Meanwhile, Nick went like this yeah Oreo cookies and ham it's like it's like the lunchable was in your backpack But you got like held and shook yeah, you're bullying so it all cut They all got combined make sense if a person eating lunchables and Oreos are getting bullied yeah that track. That's true All right, are you are you taking apart the Oreo? I don't know that's a great question Here's a on top. Here's the next one Oreo cookies and ham sandwiches stop. Come on. That's the worst

That's the worst. Oh, yes, that's the worst one because even like Lunchable logic. It's there don't combine them, but it's there You got to go out of your way to put Oreos on a ham sandwich What the fuck a sandwich is soft and cookies is hard Be chocolate aside. I don't understand the texture. We're also following the the much more straight path of Ham Oreo Also they they make the note white bread or white subs So they're not picky about what kind of wow what kind of hey you go going down the line of Jersey Mike Throw some Oreos hey hey can I get that Carolyn's way?

Hold not crushed yeah Gotta be whole don't give me them fucking Oreo bits extra when I'm not even supporting either one, but like Sub at least like a thicker bread mm-hmm right how the fuck you doing that with white bread? I don't like the bread yeah, I don't understand. Yeah, like immediately. Yeah, like the cookies gonna push through I make sometimes you have like those pre-cooked like brisket meals and chicken meals You just like throw them in the oven 15 minutes if I put that on white bread. Yeah, it disintegrates and rips apart I gotta get like hamburger buns. Hey, but Oreos on a white bread sandwich

I don't know and then the last one that they have here dry Chocolate chip cookie and American cheese sandwich come on What the fuck are we talking like the sad craft single between white bread and then- I think so, I believe that is what it is. You gotta be right? What's with the cookies? I don't know.

I don't, I don't know. Do you think the ham sandwich has mayo? Does it matter at this point? Nick, he started gasping about it. Just get rid of all the components and eat an Oreo. Separately. His person is not real

Like you can't eat a ham sandwich, take a bite and then eat a cookie Right, yeah it has to be all in one bite I feel like that's separate for a reason Yes, that's why in Lunchables it's different compartments Did they just put cookies in then they got all put together. I think so. You ever try spaghetti and cookies? You ever try Fig Newton and Caesar salad?

He said ooh. Could be interesting. Man. Interesting doesn't mean good. It's the DiGiorno like oven pizza with the cookies. The wings. Yeah, yeah's like all that shit. It's just like this is I need to get a bite of everything in every bite Why that actually doesn't sound bad? Edwood says add salt to your Oreo they looking for sweet and salt that's that is a sensible thing to say like I don't know that

I would like it, but that's reasonable Your french fries You got to finish your french fries first you got fresh fries before you get sweet and salt Oreo I don't wanna Do he's got a brownie right there pour some salt on that Carolyn says those are the only ones I can think of at this time And he really grossed me about it. Enjoy them if you ever try them. Heart. So This is not even this isn't even like a conundrum. This is just this is just

This is a classic food crime. This is this is a braggadocious email about crimes they committed. And also under the wire like yeah this one got sent. We were setting up and you said I just got a good one. I got a good one and you went, oh is it about this? And I went, nope, it's newer. Crazy. Wow. So what's your ruling on this? Separate these things?

Well look, it's... Does she see sandwich cookie on the pack and she goes put it in the sandwich? Oh, it's at Oreo sandwich cookies and she's like that's a good idea. No, it's her, her boyfriend made her email it in She's a freak I'll be honest to you with this level of freakness. Do you didn't even need to include the cheeto ketchup thing? No, I know

You'd catch a person and so I'm like Immediately way more normal. She thinks that she thinks that these things are all like on the same level though They're not. No. The ketchup and cheese doodle, she's like, that's not weird and neither is Oreo cookies in my ham sandwich. That's what we're like, you need to stop. Wow. This is kind of a classic case for food court where usually our line is don't be putting

this on other people to try. It's true. Don't be forcing it down their throats. And it doesn't sound like that's what's going on, so I don't think it's within our court's power to stop her from enjoying her weird combos. Yeah, right. But as long as she's a-

But don't be screaming, it's normal, it's normal. It's normal, I'm not a freak. That's where denial comes in, and we have to set you straight. Yeah, we do insist that you embrace that. Yeah. Well, it's good! Jesus Christ. It's good! We need to start giving straight. Yeah, we do insist that you embrace that yeah, well. It's good Jesus Christ good start giving shirts out to these people yeah

It's like convicted food criminal in the 100% food court who sends you to wear this and take a picture Oh, man, well um so so you're dodging a you're dodging the big hammer of justice, but you're on a slippery slope Yep, there you go. I say a lot of times. You know people they're like hey be you off be authentic self Don't hide some things just hide sometimes. It's hide you know you hide. It's okay. Just don't tell people about something convicted freak Fandu casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling Winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants his last parachute?

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. This next one we sent to summons. We'll see if it reached them. If not, we'll still adjudicate these things. Bertie, if you're there regarding what you sent in, this is... I'm very curious to see if they'll come and defend themselves. Because I don't know. They might not want to. I don't know that you can. Michael, what we're about to hear, I'm very curious to see what you have to say.

Okay. That should be the case for everything. If I'm remembering correctly, this could be one of the wildest ones that somebody would admit to. Yes. This is very very very interesting well birdie will see if you If you come through and you jump in you can be summoned here you can request to speak over on the discord But are they here?

Excellent in insane your anti-pope is pleased Can you you can't pull them in And can't stare where is the chat on you? Oh, I don't know how to I don't know who how let me This is always good chats on the right yeah, oh, oh I saw it for a second Oh, do it again do it it again, do it again. You're almost there. Bertie, you're so close. Bertie, come on.

I'm on mobile. Well, we can just hammer you from there if you'd like. It's up to you. But here, I'll start if you join, then you can start defending yourself, you freak. To start, I already know I am a freaker. Okay. What? There have been too many times that I have related to the sauce monkey or to other food court submissions.

Ah. So I'm not looking to defend myself. I just want to know how to minimize my crimes. I think that's great. Throwing yourself in the mercy of the courts. You should be talking to a lawyer. Yep. What's that?

I don't chew my food. What? What? What? What? I don't chew my food That's a heavy blanket statement as a kid no more as a kid I would suck on my bite of Yep I would suck on my bite of food until it became a tasteless lump that I could easily swallow. Around high school, I started to just take a bite and immediately swallow. I am now good enough at this that I don't really choke anymore. I know I should chew my food, but every time I try I get bored and then distracted.

What? We got him. Birdie! Birdie! We got him! We got him. Okay. Birdie, are you there? Oh got him. Bertie, Bertie. We got him. We got him. OK. Bertie, are you there? Oh, hi.

Yeah, I'm here. OK. Hello. So Bertie, can you explain you don't chew your food? Yeah. Well, you don't get to say it like it's normal. Yeah, dog. Eric, can't you read

But He's like um I thought that when I messaged this in I was like oh I only remember to do this because of the cook sucking Yeah You guys said just be subtle about it. So I was like, oh So it's normal. Um So I thought that you guys know this isn't that bad. No, we should be we should be clear that we never said that At no point at no point birdie birdie. Thank you so much for your support You're a great listener and I really appreciate it. You're out of your fucking mind at no point

Did we go dude cook suckin? That's a regular guy Crazy not the worst keep it to yourself. Yeah, tell people we didn't Like it to we didn't tell J to hide it because it was normal behavior You better stop telling everyone about this regular thing you know that's something like when I when I do that method of just sucking my food no one noticed it like my parents didn't know like I'm 30 years old they never knew and I'm like and another thing I never knew. And like... And... Another thing I'm gonna watch my kids for!

I had no idea this was a concern. Are you chewing it? Don't just suck it until it slides down! You're chewing your food, right? I had no idea this was a thing that could happen. Dude, one of us... Dude, I would not be surprised if we... I'm sorry.

People always think I'm weird for when out now because of how I'm always like, well, I'm better at it now, but I used to always choke on my food because I would just Yeah, that's what teeth are for. You're supposed to be chewing it. It's just so boring. I just boring. It's just so boring. I just- boring. UGH! AHHHH! Is that considered like multitasking?

Like chewing while you're being alive? I don't- To me it's just kind of like, is breathing boring? No I can't- I don't know, I wanna do something else. I just wanna stop beating my heart already! I- Now- You are now chewing manually.

I think it's really crazy that your name is Birdie and not Snakey. But like...I think... This is...so...it says in this...in what you sent to us it says that uh... you're...you would choke on your food and people

would give you weird looks. Yeah...so... yeah... but this time I'm better now because I'm like, how do not choke? And if I think I'm going to show, I just spit it out. Can you? Great. Now, at no point at no point, no, I'm sorry. At no point when you were choking, did you think this isn't working? I should try something else like chewing. No, I'm just this won't stop me.

No, no, no. Challenge accepted. I'm just this won't stop me no no challenge accepted I gotta get better at this I it's really hard to chew look at what I just forget Now it also says here side note after telling my friends about this I got a man insane to tell your friends about and a podcast I got a message from one of them saying she tried my methods after getting her wisdom teeth removed so really I guess my biggest sin is that I'm somehow an influencer unforgivable honestly it's just like it's really faster. How is it faster birdie? Do you?

Do you not in this? Do not take me forever to suck down Chewing and swallowing there. I go. I know I just don't like chewing like I really don't like Like I did find out recently. I did just get diagnosed as autistic like I so I don't know chewing like I really don't like like I did find out recently I did just get diagnosed as autistic like I so I don't know if it's like a texture thing, but I hate chewing Why you working around it Sorry, you definitely found a way like Michael sucking on some chicken. Do you have a favorite food? That's Do you have a favorite food? I'm sorry, because the breading is coming off. I love soup. That helps!

That makes perfect sense. No, shit! I'm a big fan of water. I like ramen. Rib eye is hard. My favorite food is soup. That was just like... It's such a toss up fucking home run

But recently about talking about choking recently I ate some I was eating um fish and I I I was eating the bone and like I guess I swallowed a bone that was too big And I was like I I can't go back. I have to do this. So then the bone, I could feel it traveling down. I guess I just have to swallow more.

So I just shoved my food in my mouth and then it's all shoved it down. Michael, as you were telling your fishbone story, which is vile and disgusting. And I shouldn't be eating bones anyway. Michael just sucked down a piece of chicken. His eyes are watering, his nose is running. Yeah, it definitely took longer. All the breading was coming off. Now let me ask Michael, if you had chewed that about 15 to 25 times, how do you think that would have-

You want to try just maybe like an experiment? Is this faster? mm-hmm. How's this going for you very good? Yeah? Sucking down fish bones drinking soup Influencing your friends have you ever like came so close and I hate it You needed like the Heimlich or something like like where your parents ever concerned about you like choking to death Well, I guess the reason I Silently choked so like it's only if like I make eye contact with someone that they're like Oh that person is choking over there, and then they don't do anything cuz like I'm a stranger who cares Hey anything because like I'm a stranger who cares hey you see that dude that person okay she's totally joking yeah I don't know why they didn't do anything. Like, this change... I don't know them. This is very strange.

You're... you're wild. You're so... this is so much. I'm glad you got good at it at least though, because clearly you're not gonna change your ways. Yeah, I mean, at this point, like, we can't really tell you to stop and start chewing your food because you made it this far. Is there, like, a food that you like that you can't eat because of the way you eat you just tried and you can't do it or have you just like Decided what you eat and you stick with that Chips I guess I are bad like I can I have to go back to sucking on them if I do that Yeah, yeah, you got to turn them into Pringles. Yeah, do you ever like you ever want a food like?

Oh, I want to eat this thing. There's there's like too much work because of the way I eat like I don't have time because all is that decide how you eat sometimes like I just want a quick lunch I'm gonna have yogurt yeah yeah while like oh I don't have the time for a sandwich yeah sometimes I just have like ice cream or something yeah that's good what's a good what's for dinner soup and ice cream the pasta pizza oh man do you enjoy pasta spaghetti fun oh yeah yeah oh I can imagine yeah oh I feel it it's touching my mouth and my stomach. It's very different without context to it It's probably Going all the way down. It's really weird. Yeah, I bet it's really weird anyway doing it 30 years

But I'm glad that you didn't show up while trying it Michael. No no It looked really close. Yeah, we were touching each other. Your eyes were blind. There was a moment where I thought, oh, it's stuck, I'm gonna shove more food into my mouth. That'll solve everything. So I can kind of speak to this a little bit. I had a stricture in my esophagus at the bottom where it narrowed.

And I had to get knocked out. Painkill had that too. They shoved a, there you go, they shoved a, oh, there you go. They shoved a, well that's different. They shoved a balloon down my throat and had to expand it. What would happen, the problem was I would eat food, not chew it well enough, and food would get stuck in my esophagus. And sometimes I could throw it up,

sometimes it would go down, but sometimes it would just get stuck. And then for like four hours, it would be like, nothing's going up, nothing's going down. You just gotta feel it in your, in your claw. So everything you're describing is such a sensory nightmare for me that it is hell on earth.

And I went to a doctor to fix. Ah, you wanna see me suck another one? No, no! There's one more to do it. That's Nick. Eric, hang on. Here, just do a little one. Why didn't it never cross your mind

to just put more food down your throat? I tried I would drink water with every bite dude, so When you're sucking this stuff down, are you drinking a lot of liquid with it? Um Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, there's like I have to Yeah All right

Yeah, well I'm drinking is boring Yeah, I will say the way that you just told us yes sounded like a no to me, but I'll take your word She does, but she doesn't need it. Yeah, yeah, right right right right well sometimes I put it on my nose because it's more fun. I just I just like thinking of a magical Oh, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. I like thinking of a hypothetical where you know you go out sometimes and someone's like I'm vegan. Yeah.

I'm a picky eater. Sitting down going I can't eat anything here. I can't suck any of this down my throat. Garcon, do you have, per chance, any food that's a little more suckable? Is your suckable menu? I'm sure you get this all the time. I don't chew yeah Is there a section on the menu for that I have a card from my doctor It allows me to order off your son This is this is incredible, and I really appreciate hearing this too because there's not like a food crime here

No, this is like a gross no. I mean I never could have expected something like oh, I have no food in particular I just don't I would Never heard such a thing, and I'm happy to have I would be more inclined to say it's a safety concern What I mean at this point I feel like you've overcome that purple Yeah, you probably know more about it than we do Yeah, yeah I just wanna know which one should I stick with What do you mean? Like which?

Should I stick to sucking food or should I stick to just swallowing it? I would say whatever it takes at this point Whatever gets the food down the safest I feel like you're not gonna listen to us anyway Yeah You can tell you to to be you seem to be thriving you have a system so who are we to question birdie I have a question and this this will not this will inform a ruling uh-huh have you taken any like sort of Heimlich maneuver classes have you ever done that before no can you that something you can do on

yourself though yes it is if you have like the back of a chair or something you can throw yourself at that usually does the trick yeah so so just for liability sake I ruling and Michael you can back me up yeah yeah take it take some sort of class or certification on giving the Heimlich. And also, like, I'm sure part of that training is the self-Heimlich.

Yeah. Just to cover your bases. If this is what you want to do, I think this is a smart way to go about it. And chat is saying chew your food. Just so we're all clear. I mean, that's the obvious thing, but you're not gonna do it. Can you, Bertie, can you, Bertie, can you do me a favor just personally

and then we can get to the ruling. Can you just pick one day in the near future and one day you just chew all your food? Instead of a cheat day, you have a chew day? Yeah, you got a chew day. Just one day you go like, you know what, Sunday, I'm just going to try chewing all my food. Well, maybe one food starts pick a meal, pick one meal and chew it and see how that goes. I just don't think I'll remember to do it.

And if she does remember boring. Boring. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What are you talking about? I like I like eating food, but I like watching TikTok more. So I'm just gonna watch TikTok. I can't chew and look at something. I was just gonna say that like,

I wouldn't be surprised if this is a more common thing in like one in five people. Could you imagine? I don't think it's one in five, Jordan. But I don't think it's one in five. I know a lot of one in five people, and none of them are sucking food. I personally would not be shocked if Gracie walked in and was like I don't you my I don't Yeah, yeah, and you don't want to be you don't want that you don't want that a lot of people do want to be grace

Well, what's your rolling for this new food trend? Yeah is not chewing it. Yeah I mean my ruling is like Stick to what you know I think we don't be bored. Yeah, but they're the expert. Yeah, be safe like if you're going to keep doing this I I Think you should take some sort of Heimlich class. That's what that's my Nick hates it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, go ahead Nick loves it Thank you birdie. Thank you for joining as well. That was really loves it thank you birdie for joining as well that was really great you really appreciate it thank you uh the whole time that was going on and we were talking about choking and all this stuff it was Nick with his like donkey ears

going and then he started eating a cookie or you was that and he was chewing his sucking trying to put in a ham sandwich. Oh dude. I agree birdie is is like in the lore now, dude honestly Yeah, a new job or jive super turkey in the chat. Just said new 100% eat celebrity I don't know where it went I saw it or when somebody was just like she's essentially Sentencing herself to eventual death yes, okay. Yeah, I mean just like I don't know she's 30 years old she at this point that's great yeah well you said it was normal you remember when you yeah Eric said it was a normal regular thing no no no Eric said it was cool how was fascinating that was absolutely I still feel weird from that nugget I swallowed. It was, well that's because you're just not used to it.

Also opposite of birdie, it was so hard not to chew. I had to fight every human instinct. Was it boring to not chew? It certainly wasn't boring. He was talking about how it was hurting your mouth. Well it's because all the breading was breaking off, and so I was like trying not to chew, but managing like ten little breading crumbs crumbs while I'm sucking the main it's like sucking an asteroid

and you got a little piece that's breaking off. I just oh my god. I imagine Bertie's not eating a ton of proteins and it's like soup yeah that I mean soup what uh what's your favorite food soup yeah no shit but it was even more clearly like the the mindset of not like hey because I don't chew food I only eat these food. Yes. It was like uh Like there wasn't a full connection Why I like yeah, it just goes down easy Okay, birdie it's so in the theater where we're taking the summons birdie said thank you all So in the theater where we're taking the summons, Bertie said, thank you all for your support in my crimes.

Parent thaticles, I am ignoring the naysayer. So, which is fine, but I also, while laughing, and she goes, well, what do you think I should do? You don't care. You're not gonna listen to us. You're not gonna listen. This is the thing. This is why I'm so- Even then,

even then I have a lot of things to do. Well, I'll forget. I'm not saying no, I'll forget, it's so boring. This is like I'm so- Even then, even then I love the- Well, I'll forget. I'm not saying no, I'll forget. It's so boring. This is like- You want me to think about chewing? This is why I love people who listen to the show, cause that's our audience and that's nuts.

But then they're also in like the chat. And then when we do this episode live tomorrow, you know the chat's gonna be insane on Discord. I love this too. All that said and done, done JD wonder what soup yeah Like it was totally normal thing that Campbell's chunky Let's get to another food you don't know that This is from friend of the show Lexi Lucy

I know I bow to thy glorious crowns Oh royal bug kings, and I beseech you aware that we are people. Yep. Hear my cries My cries being from the Midwest you're gonna want to get the evidence ready. Not yet. I will let you know That's not one of the things we saw earlier Being from the Midwest. I have been privileged to enjoy the finer fast food Tex Mex chain Taco Johns. There's nothing quite like a number five with fried chicken a side of sour cream and a Dr. Pepper or a number eight if you're extra hungry Taco Bell nacho fries got

nothing on the beloved potato Olay's. However, once a year during the winter holiday season, Big Taco Johns commits a heinous crime against food eaters everywhere in the Midwest. The Apple Grande, touted as limited time, festive treat. The abhorrent Apple Grande features a crispy tortilla topped with apple pie filling, cinnamon sugar and shredded cheese.

Satisfy your weird tude. Now I can see where they're coming from. Oh my god. A known but weird food trend is to put cheese on apple pie. I've done that. I think it's good. Yeah. That said, the Applegrande misses the mark. Attached to this cheese on apple pie. I've done that. I think it's good Yeah, that said the Apple Grande misses the mark attached to the email are two pictures One is the ad for the holiday season one is the real food prepared to be discussed and in conclusion. I'm pressing charges Against taco John himself for his food crimes against fast casual Tex-max if he's found guilty of a food crime I hereby declare a challenge to the death Taxmax if he's found guilty of a food crime I hereby declare a challenge to the death

Vengeance for my father who was electrocuted at a taco John's in the 80s while working a night shift alone Resulting in having a seizure and losing consciousness. Yes Christ He survived that but died later of unnatural causes Paranthetical unrelated you're small and ever loyal subjects, Lexie Lucy. What the fuck? I love what we get into. That really caught Jordan at the end. I love when we get into the dad lore of our audience. So...

Like the dad from the TGI Fridays. There you go, the chat just caught up. I like early on. Why? Early on, it was a lot of Midwest instantly guilty. Yeah, absolutely Nebraska for it. Um if your place is called Taco John. Yep. It's immediately bad. Immediately. I'm sorry I don't care if you have love for Taco John's in the Midwest. Yep

It's bad and also those two images the Promotional image for the advertising is always meant to like appetizing. That looked like shit. That did not look good and you're only gonna get a worse version of that. It looks, he threw it up there earlier before we started because he was like loading it I guess. I thought it was tomatoes. Yes!

Me too. It's not. It's apple pie. Which would be way more normal. Way more normal. Some sort of tostada, yeah. I think Taco John needs to go to jail, dude. That nugget is killing me.

It's like right here. You got a balloon? Did you put a balloon down my throat? Oh, I woke up, the first time they did it was to check everything out. The second time, it was to blow everything up. I woke up the second time. Oh, like in the middle of it? With the thing all the way down my throat?

You woke up and you were disoriented for a second and he's He's like oh no not again. Oh, it's the balloon. Yeah Forgot where I was see the the anesthesiologist just went oh hang on Wait no you're not Go the balloon area cook you mean cook but I mean like for down here that the call I'm sorry. I have anyone on site That's can you get here? We got him knocked out. We'll keep him under as long as it's a balloon. Yeah Yeah, yeah, the balloon. Yeah, okay. That's what we call it. All right. What's your ruling? Oh shit? He woke up surgical slugging What's your ruling on taco John in this bullshit? Uh that's just a horrible idea Yeah, Nick's like Nick's killing a big style. That's why I don't think it's good, but I try it taco bell

Can you come up something without chewing it. I've tried by And I get what they're going for with the cheese, but they did like the shitty taco cheese It yeah, it's not even like distributed well like the presentation was dog shit. Yep um I don't care if taco John is beloved Midwest Mexican food restaurant right that do you think that was text makes what part of it please not be told please not be died yet no kidding I think I think we should take

on big corporal here okay I'm taking a taco John take a little car probably taking my might just be a guy honestly corporate corporate size wise we might be comparable Just there they have a Gracie to yeah, they're struggling. Oh, what is this? What are you talking about? We're only bring back the eaters dad Hey, I gotta switch outfits Like a shaman robe. I don't I'm the empty pub can bring back Lexi Lucy's fine. I can bring him back. He won't be

I don't. I'm the anti-pope. The anti-pope can bring back Lexie Lucy's father. I can bring him back. He won't be the same. He's back and he's worse. Have you ever seen Men in Black? He's gonna be like... Yeah, he's gonna be like Vincent D'Onofrio. Hell yeah. Alright, what's your ruling here? We taking him on?

Yeah, let's take on Taco John. Let's sue him. It only took us like one or two and then we got it. There's always like a warm-up thing all right Let's hear from someone else who got another summit. Well. You can't do that. We can do that okay? This is Ivan M cap captain Zazz lacks. I think in the Potentially in discord I take that for anxiety Ivan Yeah, me too. I take it for anxiety

I Take Motrin p.m.. Every night now. Oh, yeah, dude knocks me the fuck out like nothing. I've ever taken Why I don't know I don't know but damn am I tired in the morning? I've like fight through the bubble. Oh, it's like oh human wise more sleep than I ever get Oh, but also doesn't equal not tired in the right, but I just gotta shake it off. It's a lot of me going for 20 minutes. Well, Ivan M., we will start, if you happen to get here, you happen to get in the Discord,

and you want to jump in and defend yourself, feel free. This is from Ivan. 23 states have Taco Johns, by the way. That's way too many. That's way too many. We're getting there. Wait till you see the second year. We start opening up satellite branches. Yeah Like Teen Titans West. It's a great idea. This is awesome

Alright My brother does not like the way I eat bone and chicken and beef jerky. Well, how do you eat it? first off the chicken After I finish eating all the meat I tend to decimate the bones and eat the marrow. Yeah! I mean, how much marrow is on it? Right? Like on a little chicken wing? On a chicken wing? I gotta get every last drop.

I don't think I've ever thought, I gotta crack these bones open and get the marrow out. Exactly. Exactly. Do you eat the knuckles? It... I have done this in front of others without issue. Big mistake. It's just my brother that has a problem Oh, there's an issue. They just don't question it. Yeah, no one sees that and goes there normal. Oh, you're eating your camp They bones I see that all the time. I'm not gonna comment on it therefore

I'm encouraging Ivan is used to people like while he's eating and doing that He's used to looking at people and they're going like this He's eating and doing that he's used to looking at people and they're going like this Oh, you mean looking at him normal. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Yeah a lot of times people don't even look at me when I'm doing it That's how not bothered Everyone turns away Everyone gets up and leaves me to it Normal Ivan sucking the marrow out of the bones

Well that's a lot of so do you suck down chicken bones and break them open and eat them a lot of sucking on this episode I gotta believe no one is questioning Marrow yeah, they're questioning this it level of people like Bone you can order. Yes, you can order. It's like a, not a delicacy, but it's like. It's a thing. It's a thing. I had like a bone marrow burger or something.

Prepare that way intentionally. You know, it's like here's the marrow. It's a giant fucking honker of a bone. I prefer to do it myself. Bring me the bone and I'll crack it open. Here's some little baby birds. Suck the marrow in. That's just the way he eats chicken though.

Like have you ever heard anyone say, question. Like I've heard, hey, do you like bone marrow on that one. That's just the way he eats chicken though. Like have you ever heard anyone say question? Like, hey, do you like bone marrow? I've heard that. Hey, do you eat the bone marrow on chicken wings? I've never heard that question before. Until this- Yeah, who? Who said that besides you?

Oh. Have you ever heard this question? Yeah, I asked it. I say it in my head. I hear myself. Until Ivan sent this in, I did not know you could do this with chicken wings. Me neither. Had no idea. Never in my head. I hear myself Until I even sent this in I did not know you could do this with chicken me neither had no I never crossed my never Never thought to do it, but but he still has a way that he eats jerky. I'm sure it's also now Michael

When you think jerky what jerky are you thinking? I like Jack link okay? Now the jerky specifically slim Jim's and similar problem, okay? I like the tear the casings off eat the casings then eat the meat how much work I only do this alone in my room while I watch anime. Oh my god what I? Also like this slim Jim. That's like the way I would consider McDonald's like McDonald's burger. Not yeah burger That's a step like yeah, okay? How much is beef jerky right, but it's good. It's like kid beef jerky like as a kid I don't think I would like real beef jerky. It's too potent. Yeah, that's like strong Like snack pack beef jerky. How do you even get the casing off? I imagine he's got to be like he's got a knife

Well, he's watching you new yasha He has his jerky knife. That's a good long style sit boy. Yeah And then he's eaten the casing the long way He leaves the delicious insides on rolls it yeah the casing yeah, and then you you hawker show comes on He goes now. It's time for the insides bangers My brother just happened to see me do this while I was watching the five nights at Freddy's movie I Used to do I used to do essentially the same thing

with McNuggets but no longer do it because I'm not a nine-year-old yeah guys you know I've evolved I only do it with slim Jim's now it's again at the chicken nugget thing at least is a known right? Oh, you're one of those we tried you're one of those people before God food courts the best to me You heard that phrase that I do that too In my room by myself yeah, yeah, yeah, so when you're jerking it are you like using your knife? Yeah, do you? Just suck it or do you chew? Do you go do you go case in first you're drinking it, are you like using your knife? Yeah, do you just suck it or do you chew?

It's called pen time! Do you go casing first? You're like, what? You go inside out? Oh man, your brother ever catch you doing it? When you're sucking it anime, you do cut or uncut? Yeah! What do you prefer?

If I don't have my knife with me, I use my teeth't bother me I also think it's normal it's called hentai Nick said that earlier but I'm screaming at me good job Nick we go. It's when... Yeah, turn that microphone up. No! Okay. Nick can hear me! Cool. Great. I can hear you, Nick. So, uh, we...so we need a ruling. Is my brother right or am I a freak? No!

The whole thing is... The whole thing...you're a freak. Oh, you're...you're the...yes. I guess your brother's right. I think... Yes. I think what's truly...and I'm gonna say the word troubling here is that his brother is the only? Voice of reason in his life apparent. Yeah, I mean

How do you approach that you know what I mean look some people just aren't brave enough. Yeah Right, I don't know it is a lot. I agree with you looking at him like what yeah, it's I can I can safely assume here. No one's endorsing this they just don't have the courage to stand up to it You know what I mean? Your brother, your brother. Like in which case, you know, your brother has the familiarity. You would, you would hope you have friends like you can rely on enough to be like, hey man, What are you doing?

So that- Intervention, you need to stop. I don't know what's worse. Someone should act. I, I think the like eating, sucking the bone marrow in front of people Yeah, that's got it. You can't do that in any sort of like tactful way no It's got to be loud and like messy if I was eating bone in wings with friends And then you saw a friend crack a bone and start sucking it down

It would be like whoa like what is the vibe is I already will be aware of like like that's so surprised that that's a thing because like I've seen people eat chicken wings and like You know you want you don't waste the meat yeah get in there the next one Oh, yeah, when it gets the level of get messy when it gets to the level of like someone has more wings left I will go well. You're really getting in there, huh? Yeah, you know there's like a scrap of me I'll notice that yeah, and go you got five more Yeah, but I mean like to be like like I think you got it. I can't even imagine what going for the marrow I Brought my hammer. I would immediately go. What are you doing?

So next time we do a buffalo wild wings right we got to have Nick try also that's again him going Oh, I do that he's never once done that in front of us. I've never seen him do it. You've never cracked an eatin' a bone. You don't. You have done it? You're doing it secret style? You eatin' bones?

See, at least you have more shame. You have more shame here, you know, to hide it. No, he doesn't have shame, he knows it's normal because we never mentioned it. He just makes those weird faces and get up and leave me alone. Here's a bunch of splintered bones I'm gonna suck on to try to get a half a gram of marrow. It's good for you. It's like bone broth. It's good for you. You're not doing it because it's good for you.

It tastes good too. At least say that. Say, I'm a freaky weirdo. I do it because it tastes good. Stop saying it's good for you. You sound like the freaks on this show. When they're disgusting, they go, it's good for you. You sound like the freaks on this now on this show Yeah, when they're disgusting thing they go. It's good for you now the bone marrow The bone marrow thing is crazy the jerky thing is fucking out of control But when he says I used to do the same thing with McNuggets McNuggets But I don't do it anymore cuz I'm not yeah, I hear ya. Yeah, it's fucking here. I got news for you You're not better than

Word you're worse But it's also still slim Jim's which is child food nuts nuts dude. I don't feel like I don't feel like a grown-up eating slim Jim's Now I eat chomps yeah, what's Randy Savage died? I can do yeah, yeah, then it was done rest in peace What's Randy Savage diet? I could do it. Dude, yeah, yeah, then it was done. Rest in peace. Uh, oh yeah. So, so the ruling is you're definitely a freak. Yeah. Big time. Big time. Honestly, for your own good,

because your brother's the only one trying to help you out here, don't do the bone-marathing in front of people. No, and I think, I think that a punishment for this crime is that he needs to eat beef jerky in the family room with all the lights on normal style. Sit there and let the people see you eat Slim Jim's normal way. So that way they don't.

But you can still watch anime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can still throw on Dragon Ball. If Toonami's on, that's even better. Sleep is for the weak. Yeah. That's on top. Put on Outlaw Star. Yeah, but. That's the midnight run, sorry. That's a good one. I um sleep is for the week. Yeah, that's not a lost star. Yeah, but

Get some Zoids go in and then just slam it out there with a couple of you You and your brother can eat Slim Jim's normal style Watching some weeds in the family room like you're like yeah, it doesn't get better than this I like the idea of going out in wings with people. There's nothing but bones left. You gonna finish those? They're all wet you start cracking sucking them. Oh, what are you throwing them away? Wow a lot of a lot of Zoids is an anime in the chat. It is or isn't I beg to differ all right? All right, my favorite is anime. I think my favorite anime Zoid Huckleberry Hounds Absolutely is anime. Especially the first Zoids. Yep, hell yeah.

Then they got like computer generated. Yeah. I don't like those Zoids. But I still don't want the first one. The first one's good though. Yep. Alright. That's real drawn cartoon.

What's your ruling on 5 and M? Freak! Yep. Alright. Tomorrow at 1pm. One more time. We'll be live on our Discord channel. But we'll be streaming the chat here to YouTube.

Sign up, patreon.com slash 100% eat. You get access, at $5 at the lowest tier, you get ad-free podcasts, you get access to the Discord, but you can join at the next tier, Michael Jordan podcast, and you join at the next tier after that, and it's only $1 more to say that you're a Compliments Crackle. And you're so much better. You have a little hat, it's great.

Let me just read this too. Okay Louise says if the crust is the bone of the pizza is sucking crust included all this crust is not anywhere near bones Crust crust is crust is this also call it the pizza bone. Yeah, not in this way talked about that, but yeah It's not it's not it's not that's that's like if you get stuffed crust and you go, I only It's not it's not it's not that's that's like if you get stuffed crust and you go I only Also this this kind of like good though this kind of like shakes the foundation of of this very podcast dating back to the beginning of face jam Why didn't this man chime in when we said boneless wings is 100% eat when he should have said it always is I eat them well I that might have been before he talked yeah, also

He's never circled back. He's still only hollowing out the bone. Yeah, you know like it's still like 97% um I Just how we hearing about this now. I know I six years later. I think I think he's uh yeah He's trying to like retro actively he's uh yeah he's trying to like retroactively he's trying to he's trying to retcon you retconning he thought he's gonna he's gonna start doing it just now he's like pretending like mo has been doing it yeah if don't go back and listen he's edited the episode for him to chime in be like actually guys and i suck the marrow yeah uh if you like this chat you like hanging, join us tomorrow 1 p.m. Central for 100% eat.

Let's get to potentially our final court case. This is a summons. These are all heavy hitters. Amy K. I hope Amy is here. This is an even more insane one, I think. Amy, if you can get on the Discord, that's great. If you don't want to be a person who admits that this is you. I mean, you already did totally not live

Oh, here's it. You put your name on it. So if you don't if you don't want people to know what you sound like Yeah, Amy. This is up to you. Oh, Amy. Are you here? You're in the disk Amy can you get in the discord? Are you able to do that because I'm trippling you're right guys What Amy what we're about to talk about with Amy? I don't it might be an old-timer you guys might be Don't get my hopes up. Oh Okay, okay, let's see Amy Amy are you there?

Mmm, I see you in here don't hear Nick looks extra crazy when he takes the mask off. His hair's all undone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He looks extra insane. Amy, are you there? Oh, no. Uh-oh. It's okay.

Hang on. Don't panic, Amy. Amy K. We'll see. Muted? Unmuted? Oh, Amy, there you are! There you are!

Oh, my goodness. Sorry. Not you, Eric. It was Eric, for sure. Amy. Is it Amy or Ah-may?. Not you, Eric. Okay. Amy. Is it Amy or Ame? It's Amy, yes. Okay. Just wanted to make sure we weren't mispronouncing your name. When we hammer you, we wanna get it right.

Yeah, we wanna get it right. We don't want our judgment to go to someone else. Amy, would you- I accept my fate. Oh, you don't. You are getting way ahead of yourself. Would you? I, on it, before you ask, I think you should read it.

Okay, I am going to read what you said. And then we will, uh. Hammer you accordingly. Hello, my judgy bug king spice rat and monkey. After sitting here judging the hell out of our fellow 100% eaters and grackles, I'm here to confess to my own food crime. I will say say I know a

few people who do this, but I still know it's foul, but it's simple. Chew a bunch of Cheez-Its or goldfish, but don't swallow them yet. Just let them build up into a blob. They do spit Spit out the blob and then eat the blob in little bites until dawn! Come on! Come on! Dude... Dude... You killed Nick! You killed Nick!

You spread... Oh dude, Jack go nuts. To eat... To create... To create said blob, it probably takes about 20ish cheezits. Usually a fun-sized bag gives me a decent size to start. A decent size. I do just eat them normally when I'm with others, but I'm definitely doing this shit in the comfort of my home every time.

I love when they tell on themselves. It's like, I know it's weird I don't't do it in front of people you're about to hate this In some bites you'll still find some small bits of cheese It's that are not yet smushed that gives it a good texture in between the blob bites Sometimes I do scoop a bit of the blob into a normal cheese it like a dip Oh my god a few people on my friends discord have told me they do the same thing liar Just make me feel less deranged But I guess my final verdict will be up to you now before we really get into it Amy what the fuck

Look look look like there's already someone in the discord who says that they've done it that you're your discord of people saying this It's it's like it's like it's like an AA group, okay That's okay to be people going I do it to help me Since I've gotten my summon for this I posted it in said discord and it turned out I was wrong There was only one Oh, I misunderstood. I'm not fucking in the same friends.. Sorry all my friends are doing this right guys What guys? Oh, you don't you don't eat like? recreated vomit

What do you mean you were all saying yes, and then making fun of me? I I love that this is also a twist on the rest of the episode where everyone's been talking about putting food in their Mouth and suck it on it down. It's like no no no I take it out. I'm chewing I ate board I'm spitting it out. This one's visceral because a lot of these things are just like I gotta try to imagine. Yeah but I can picture it perfectly. But like I know because it's what you're saying is such a normal thing where like I hate when that happens I'm chewing some gold you get it stuck like yeah in the corner of your mouth It gets all gummed up. I feel gross doing it, but you I scoop it

Yeah, it's like you you have to like coming out my finger in my mouth I'm like oh, it's so gross and I'll scoop it and I'm gonna eat it I don't take it out and save it for later I don't throw it away, but it's like I that's the worst part about goldfish and yes It's build up. It's build up and the second you build up It's like gotta get out and I feel gross I feel like like a nose picker in public is like sticking your finger in your mouth pulling out sludge You're telling me that's the gold you go fighting for it. You save it your trunk

Reheated trying to you're trying to make it happen. That's nuts You're trying to make it happen. That's nuts! That's fucking nuts! The theater chat and the chat in there has gone absolutely insane. Yeah! No, no! They've gone sane! They've gone very sane is what's happening. Erick's retching at something. You're putting chew...

AHHHHH! Why are you holding it? Like, and I'm- Because that's how I eat it! I literally like take it out of my mouth, and I have it holding in my hand, and I just take little bites out of it. I'm a person that's like not-

Like an apple! I'm a person that's like, I can handle gross stuff. And like, sometimes gross stuff is just stuff people aren't used to, but like, some people are like weirded out by like seeing gum that came out of your mouth. You know, like, ugh, that was in your mouth. That doesn't bother me. Cheesic gum could be a thing. That bothers me.

That does bother me. You know what bothers me the most about it is that that's exactly how I pictured it. Yeah, it also- Oh, 100%! It bothers Jordan so much, cause I don't know how many times this ever happened, he had to touch me. Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, please. He needed some protection. Because I didn't know how many times that rabbit he had to touch Me Michael Michael It's so it's so Relatable channeling the spirit so relatable what you're saying of like how it happens

Yeah, and I can't believe I've gone to this step to embrace. Yeah I've never had the thought where it's like if I made this the thing attraction. Like, it doesn't feel gross because it's still in my mouth. It feels gross sticking my finger in my mouth. But like, it's food in my mouth. It's just stuck and I eat it. I cannot, it's mixed. Can I ask? It gives me a little bit shivers thinking about taking it out of my mouth, putting it

down going, I'm going to scoop that later. Now, Amy, you're making it that big in your mouth and then taking it out as one big thing or are you like slowly? Piecing it together into one big wad Gee whiz does this? I usually just have it in my mouth until I'm like satisfied with that size Sure sure And then I'm like okay I'm gonna take it out and start eating it

Sure Let- let me ask I like something in your mouth that's being eaten you take this and go this is great I'm gonna take it out and eat it Instead of just finishing the job. Is it better? Is it better if it like dries out a little bit? Oh No, no, you got it. He's a man Shorty it starts drying like waiting here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I got you. Yeah. Yeah How did this start? Yeah

I gotcha, I gotcha, yeah. How did this start? Yeah. On accident? I was trying to think about when I started doing this and I'm honestly not sure. There was a point in my childhood where I did not eat anything cheese related. And then it changed when one of my neighborhoods,

like kids in my neighborhood introduced me to Goldfish and Fruit loops, uh-huh And then that's when I started to eat cheeses, but I don't know at what point I started to do They immediately tell you that's not how you Know what are you doing somehow you're eating it. This is why people like goldfish. No, it's not Amy stop stop me. Thanks.- you've unleashed me! Thanks for turning me into this new snack I love And at this point I do do it with like other dry crackers so it's not just like goldfish and cheese

People are immediately questioning- Oyster crackers, like saltine Oh sure, I've had that, I'll do it Cheese nips? You know? People were asking about the fruit loops. Did you also do this with Froot Loops? I don't think you can, right? I never did this with like the Goldfish Froot Loop combo. Oh, oh, okay.

It was a combo. Oh, I remember that. Yeah, I remember that. Make a little mix bag. I see. People immediately were going, Froot Loops, what, what, what? Just.

It's like a bag of trail mix. That was initially how I got introduced to eating like cheese crackers with gold fish and fruit. Then you thought I'm going to cut out the fruit loops and just go for the gold. Yeah. When was the last time you did this? Literally, I took that picture last night. Dude, I swear to God, it's just it's built all over again. This is this is the best show and you really

This is nobody's on your side. No one person was Going oh my god. Oh my god. I do this dude It's you and gee whiz against God in the rest of the world. I do speak for God This is this is like, it's like when you were saying earlier, other people do it too. What should like, G-Wiz's case here? They're not going, yeah I do it too. They're going, oh my god, someone else is

fucked up like that. I finally found kinship for the first time in my life. You wanna chew it together? I had somebody else listen to some of the other court summons, and I was like, oh yeah, this is the thing that that I got summoned in for and everyone was like, Amy, somehow learning this about you, this is all worse. This is all way worse than what's ever been on that show for no one to be fun. I think they're right.

We had a number of like, especially in a row today. Just like all timers. Not weird food. Yeah, a couple weird foods, but it's weird shit you're doing with normal food. Yeah I think the Oreo ham sandwich was the worst one. Why can't people just eat right? Can we go back to eating weird food? Remember when bilk was the height of craziness? I don't know that bilk touches this Especially the part where Amy you take it out of your mouth You I assume are setting it down and then using it for dip for other cheez-its Which is just the grossest fucking thing i've ever heard. Yeah, that's pretty bad I gotta be honest always stays in hand. You call it the blob. Do you think that's maybe a sign?

I'm just blobbing my goldfish. I'm so can't wait to get my blob on tonight. There's nothing gross it the blob do you think that's maybe a sign? I'm just blobbing my goldfish I'm so can't wait to get my blob on tonight. I think Chris about the block. I can't wait to tell Gracie about this I can't wait to tell Gracie about the blob She's gonna be so mad people there people that I like to tell things about on this podcast I would never wish them to watch it. Yeah, here's the top hit Here's a great you review. I cannot mention most of this no Normal people because they'll be like stop. I'm like it's funny stop. Yeah talking. Yeah stop. I'm gonna eat later Don't tell me this kind of how I feel I can't tell my wife about this one. I can tell my wife about Not chewing the food. Yeah, I think it's snake style that nugget might be coming back. Oh, yeah. Oh dude that night stock

It's not going anywhere. I'm gonna need that specialist dude I can't believe we started with the cook sucker and now we've moved on to the blob The blob could very well be the new all-timer like I I don't know what to do with it I don't I don't know where to begin what's again. I just saw a nice. It's so vile, but also it's so like Normal and the thing that happens with those types. Yes. Yeah. Yes, and that's what's crazy about it And you're turning it up. You just tweaked one it went from like yeah, you know, they get stuck in the mouth Isn't it? What are you doing? Yeah?

I what no what? That it does get stuck in your teeth, okay, please Devin in the chat, I hope you like that part of it because I don't know else why you would do it Devin in the chat said get birdie to swallow the blob hole I mean yet you're right, but the problem is the problem is birdie would never chew and she'll never experience this well We'll never hang on if they if they overcome Form into a blob. Yeah, I'm saying, I'm not like, maybe a little gross here. If they overcame certain boundaries...

Uh huh. Bertie could eat anything. You want me to chew that for you? Your name is Bertie. Oh! It was meant... You want me to chew that up for you? It was meant to be.

She's like, well well it ain't boring You guys together equal one person Amy and birdie are like just like just two you know what reeks what and out together wouldn't you and who won't swallow it what new won't you but will swallow guys damn this is 30 year old birdie and the blob right dude I'm I'm floor Amy you're Millennials man you're crazy this is crazy this is nuts I'm floor Amy your Millennials man. You're crazy. This is crazy. This is nuts I'm so glad you emailed a podcast about this yeah, honestly. Thank you while yeah, and once again I think this is the best birthday As I say to most people what the courage it takes to come yes Yeah, just to send it in yeah attach your human voice. Yes. Yeah, we I'm like people should start using voice filter

Hi Like the blob Yeah, we I like people should start using voice I did tell my work about this already Hey, you know what this will be able to show them later because this is it's rare to have this level of no shame Mixed with I know what I'm doing yeah it's frowned upon yeah yeah which is why yeah it's full support I think my ruling should be you need to have a little shame a little shame well I mean a little shame is a treat well I wish you could blow by yourself yeah in my room that's what I tell everyone I do it right yeah right you did it here's a picture you did lay out you know when I'm around others are you don't do this, but I'm

definitely doing this shit in the comfort of my own home every time. Which is great. Which is great. That is what you should be doing. I'm going to say my ruling is when you bring this up, because it seems like you can't stop talking about it, when you bring this up to people, you can't say't say oh I do this with the goldfish or something you got to start with Do you blob yeah? You hand them a cheese it you go yeah

Yeah, oh the good word just came down Bill call over again, this is built all over again. This is bilk all over again. Oh no It's the anti bilk Well, Amy, thank you very much. The disciple, the prophet. Thank you for sending this in. Thank you. Hammer hook, what's the ruling? You gotta say the blob. Yeah, you gotta bring it up as the blob. I'll introduce it always as the blob. Thank you. Thank you, Amy.

Blobbering time. This was... That one it's such a normal thing. Thank you. Thank you, Amy This was that one it's like it's such a normal thing insane. Oh Oh, I eat cheese. I go fish weird how surely how weird can it be dude get a load of this? And then yeah, and then we're all just like traumatized all of these today has been an all-timer food It really has this this every time we do this we all talk about we have like a text Group we all talk about it later. Go like dude that food court was great I don't know if we can top it I am ham and Oreos come on out looking the best dude They're always great. Yeah, which is just I like it's good. It's great submissions

It's good planning, but it's still I feel like it's still luck that like it just works So well like did just vibes well, but they're still usually like one or two highlights. Oh, this was nothing but hit a one every single one This is the greatest end the Oreo ham sandwich was like the most normal normal food crime the escalation really worked. Well. Yeah We metered it out. Jesus Christ. I'm we had a nice throwback starting with cook sucking dude that one away Jesus Christ, I'm we had a nice throwback starting with cook sucking dude that one away that one away to start Can't wait to see that tier list by the way. Yes, that is that's a ruling I can't wait to share that that's gonna be really exciting really we're really gone against the creation of the show

Yeah, making these people famous. Yeah, I know right there's no shame Yeah, no other big platforms are we Joe Rogan. I know oh no We're just asking questions we want to see every side why don't you ask people that eat normal food are our questions Jamie pull up the blob our questions are usually you why Spencer I know you're in the chat how many times have you bilked in the last year oh yeah I just want to know I was gonna say weak I just want to know we sent it's him to like limit it so I got it we got to check in like social services. We're doing a wellness check on Spencer and freak mode

I don't bilk up. There's the bilk update This has been a really awesome broke no way a dude you you gave too many lines It's a sign that I'm being called to a higher calling. Spencer said probably seven or eight bilks. In the last year? That's not a lot at all. No, that's pretty good. That's still far too many.

But he... I know you're bilking today. You posted about it in the Discord. Yeah, yeah, you bilking. We know. Seven to eight, not terrible. I think it's pretty terrible. Guys... I mean, Michael's done one. Yeah, this has been... Barely. This has been an awesome anniversary

celebration. This was great. And it doesn't stop here. That's right. Because tomorrow at 1pm Central, we're gonna be on our discord channel for the first time ever. Come look at the chat, we're gonna be live streaming 100% eat the actual show. Maybe we'll post about what we're eating on the Discord. You can join the Discord by joining the Patreon. Patreon.com slash 100 percent eat. You get your food court submissions read sooner. You can get access to the Discord. You can get the ad free version of the podcast. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash 100 percent

and we're able to do this because of this support. The best part about it is that it's the best way to support us. It is. It is the best way. Hey, what can I do? You can listen to the ads. You can watch. Hey, if you don't want to spend any money, watch the podcast. Tell a friend, listen to Face Jam. Well, you used to listen to Face Jam. Right.

Listen to 100%. Now I listen to this show. It's just like it. Those are the best ways to... There you go. Listen to Face Jam. That's the one that's... There's no I used to, yeah. Not yet. Tell a friend about the podcast, but...

Didn't realize that one. I pulled it out. It's fine. But the best way to support us directly, patreon.com slash 100% eat is what's going to do the best for us every time. This has been an incredible one-year anniversary. I can't wait to do the episode tomorrow. This was great, by which I mean this was horrible. Yes, I can't wait to do

this tomorrow because we're going to be watching the chat in Discord and you can too right here on YouTube because we'll be streaming that out. You won't hear us and you won't see us, but you will see the chat right here on YouTube. Or if you want to hear us and see us, just... You can subscribe! Patreon want to hear us and see us just you can subscribe patreon.com slash 100% eat is where you can do it um guys this has been maybe the craziest food court we've ever done yeah after a year who would have thought that we would have gotten the blob Amy knew yeah she was just so passionate and positive about it oh yeah my friends told me they do it too!

And then I asked my friends and they said they don't do it. Anytime I said they were lying to me. Oh I get it, because when you do that and do that, yeah that's the best! No! Dude, the blob is crazy. We'll have this VOD up later. If you missed any part of it, you can go back and re-watch it.

But thank you so much for the support. Check us out tomorrow, 1pm Central. And we'll see you next time. You guys want to take us out with a gavel? Thank you, everyone. Did he lose an ear? Yeah. Oh, no.

His hair came off. He lost an ear. Been eating cookies. Yeah. Hey, coming up next is Bertie and the Blah. Okay. All right. Stay tuned for Bertie and the Blah.

All right. Gavel us down. Take us out of here, guys. Our ruling is thank you. Bye. Bye.