100% Eat - The CuckCouple Picked This %% Firehouse Subs Smokin Honey Melts

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

The CUCKCOUPLE are here?!? James & Elyse are still at the airport. This is a different couple. Don't question Nick's driving, he could have made it. We almost got all the food! The couple picked this and there's only 1 person working. Everyone else? Poopose? Oh Poop Hose. LIVE this wednesday at 6pm on our Discord for 100% HEAT! Don't miss it! Sign up at Patreon.com/100percenteat 100% Eat LIVE! at Bell House in Brooklyn on September 3. Tickets on sale: https://bit.ly/100percenteatlive Grab some merch at https://100percenteat.store Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tomorrow, July 22nd at 6 p.m. Central time 100% E! presents 100% heat. A hot sauce gauntlet live stream that can only take place in one place. Discord. Sign up at patreon.com slash 100% eat. Or go to 100% eat.com. We will go through the hot sauce gauntlet from Michael. Will we survive? Only one way to find out.

And that's to tune in tomorrow, July 22nd at 6 p.m. But for now, enjoy the show. Welcome to 100% Eat the show when we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. I'm your host. You probably do. I skip that part.

I'm your, you didn't, not today. I'm your host, I'm my host. Jordan Swears, Jordan, how are you? Wow, I'm great. How are you? I'm fine.

Yeah. You got your sleeps? Got what I call sleeps. Right, yeah. Your Michael sleeps. Yeah. We talked about how close the eyes sitting still. Yeah.

You said one hour of that is like four hours of regular people. 30 minutes. Yeah. It's not like it's the equivalent. It's the best I can do that I have to like adjust it. It's all relative. Right. I don't get normal sleep.

So there's no point in looking for it or hoping for it. It doesn't exist. So I do what I can. Every every like one second I can close my eyes, I have to be on camera for about two minutes. It's not a good scale. Yeah. It's a bad scale. And then I like when people either in videos or like on streams are like, man, I wish I had your energy.

Like it's like it's natural and easy. But you're just like, I'll fucking cut your throat. Sorry, I make it look so easy. You're hanging off of a cliff by a fingernail. And I was like, man, I wish I had that grip straight. Yeah. So strong. So strong.

You're so close to the edge. I live on the edge. Every day. I'm so glad we're not in the fucking car anymore. We've been in the car for a long time. Why? Because we had to pick up these two. Wait, motherfucker.

Yeah. We got to. We got to pick up these two cups. These two cucks. Couple cuck. That's right. Today is the special Cuck Raffle winner episode

and we were offered a very special couple cuck because Dirk who won not really a fan but his wife huge fan. And we're learning that Dirk is weird and it's in real time

and I don't like it and it's making me nervous and Nick is liking them more and more they're comparing sauces that don't like it. Nick, Dick, Dirk that's like the same letters. It's the same letter.

I mean it is this, that actually is the same. same number, unlike Eric and Michael. Eric and Mike. Right, but my name isn't Mike, so it's a pointless comparison. But I'm speaking from the audience. No, you were being the audience. No.

This is, like when I meet you a convention, I go, oh, my friend Mike, hey, all right. Oh, the thing no one calls you. Hell yeah. You used to think of you like a brother. So we have our... I let people down.

I'm sorry. I let you down. We have a cut couple today. We had to pick him up from the airport. It's been raining all day, and their flight got mildly delayed. It just kept circling and circling, but that's okay.

Give us time to watch torque. Yeah, we were on 2004. We got torqued up. Oh, we got torqued up. Nick was getting torqued up. I was vampire style in the other room, and all I heard was Nick going, ooh, dude, Nick was,

Nick was how he did this movie. He really was, like, I had one headphone in, so I was like listening to something anyway while I was sitting there, and then just cutting through, it was just Nick screeching. I could not hear you guys at all. We were all reacting to the movie,

because a lot of dumb stuff was a good movie. No, you were reacting, I'm just talking about the volume. I could hear one, person, it's just true. It's not even, I'm not a negative. It's just what I was experiencing. No.

Mm-hmm. Oh. I was like a desecrated vampire. I know, just like, I'm alive, but God, I need blood. Didn't consider no, though. So we had a lot of time to watch Torque as this flight got delayed, but then we got in the car and we drove to the airport. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And we was always fun, just in general. Yeah, we picked them up from the airport. Saw James and Elise. Saw James and Elise at the airport. He did. We just got it. So it's Durkin, Corey.

He goes, James at least are over there. And we went, what? And they didn't even say hi to them. They didn't even say hi. Fucking snubed him. Snubed him. Crazy. But it was,

I just kept standing there, and then James went, you guys walked and then Nick was driving. Panicking a little bit because, I mean, he was. You see Nick at the airport. I don't know why you deny it. All I had to say was we're about to get on a plane. He would have exploded. Yeah.

What are you eating? Cough drop. Oh, okay. Frozen M&M&Ms. He's about to go on a plane. You know, you know, He got too close to a plane today. He's present.

Most airports, they're very, they're very serious about not, like, idling. Yeah. Austin, pretty lax in comparison. They don't give, oh, dude. Newark? They'll, like, they'll kill you. Yeah, they scream. You're, like, you're stopping.

Someone's climbing in the car and they're still screaming at you. Like, you're actively picking some up. You need to be rolling. Austin had, like, seven cop cars, right at the front. Yeah. Not down the line at all. It was, like, the very first, it was like a. The first three letters.

Yeah, it was like locked the fuck down. And we were down by, like, H. Yeah, like the end letters. Which is by, H. And I say at, I said bye. Could have been J. I don't know. Right.

I couldn't remember which one, so I ballparked it, and I was right. As we were driving through to pick you guys up, there's a guy who walked out to stop us. He's in like a high vis vest, and he stops us to let like a little crosswalk kind of group go or whatever. And then Nick is just sitting there in the far lane as these people are about to go and cross. And he just goes, I could have made it. Yeah, there was one guy like near the beginning of the crosswalk. Right. I mean, stopped everyone.

I mean, you could have. Yeah. But you didn't know too. And then we all just went. Okay. Yeah. No, we know. Yeah.

And he went, yeah, because I would have made it. I would have made it. And now you know. What aren't you getting? Yeah. You've been fucking getting everything wrong today. Try to get no sandwiches. Don't worry.

The ones that we got weren't even the right fight. It doesn't matter. Well, they're half right. He's got to try to pick up ghost sandwiches. I really enjoyed that That me too Watch right along

The movie this week He did help He came over and I was like I hope Nick doesn't blow this for me We started the ride along He helped After we picked you guys up And even then it's like so long

Like we could have done it On the way to the airport Yeah Firehouse not as many as I thought there were In Austin We went back to Pupos We did Yeah

That's where the Pupos was yeah I thought maybe I thought that was like Yeah. We went to Pupos. I'm like, no, we went to Firehouse Subs. We got him of Pupos.

That's what I'm saying. I didn't know they had new stuff at Pupos. So it's so far from the airport, but it is like the closest one. Also, was it just picked. Yeah. Because he likes Firehouse subs. Crazy. Off the bad.

And then I went. Hey, did you like pick this to like consult with your wife? She went, I was sitting next to him. Okay. All right, fine, fine. So he picked this. Which also happened, by the way. I don't know if we mentioned this before.

Also happened on the like, the murder check call. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Make sure like the level of we're going to get murdered talking to someone, which we did with Evan as well. Yes.

And we're talking to Dirk and he mentioned like, you know, he was like, my wife's fan. Actually, I don't want some of you guys at all. My wife is the fan. You might as she says hi.

We're like, sure. And then she goes, hello. So it seems to be a thing. That's very funny. So it was, it was good. It's just been a lot. long day of being in the car and then being

inside of a firehouse subs where for 10 minutes one person was working to make sandwiches and just kept going I'm sorry I'm the only one here I'm sorry I'll say we got here, well you got here earlier than me but we were supposed to me here at 1130 yeah it's 2 30 yes

that's crazy yeah it's it was a lot of driving a lot of waiting so go watch right along the movie where it gets to a point where we've been waiting so long for the sandwiches that I think I went I mean There's not sandwiches over there in like the pickup area, right? And Michael went, he walked over.

Well, there's like six sandwiches there. And I'm like, do they have our name on him? And he's walking back and he goes, I don't think so. I don't know. Let me check. And then he went, let me check. And he walked over. And he went, oh, I think these are them.

And I'm like, fuck. And I got up and walked over. No sandwiches. Empty rack top to bottom. I just found that funny, but it was really funny. And then I just hear it. And then I just hear Michael going, you had to be there. It was fucking.

It was really funny because he was like real wedged into the corner to you. Yeah. Yeah. He had to like get out. I mean, excuse me. And I had to like walk by. I was just soaking it up every second of the way to watch him squirm over. And I was just waiting for it. Even your reaction was kind of subdued or he was like, there's nothing there.

Which he played even more to me. But like Dr. Manhattan can read the smallest takes of a human interaction. I didn't need a reaction. Yeah. That doesn't matter what he's going to do. I know what he's thinking. I'm fucking terrible. Just want these sandwiches.

Yeah. And then he gave me a really good idea to give Nick. Well, first to come up with GTA6 ideas and not tell you about it. Then actually come up with ideas, tell Nick. And then just have him just have the bander ideas. Nick's got great ideas all of a sudden. Gavin's going to love all of Nick's ideas. They're going to be really Gavin-coded.

They are his fucking suck. I hate this. This is bullshit. Nick came up with a new game called Catchy Dippy Doop. Great, cool. I was just thinking about that. Nut punt? Yeah.

So look forward to those. Not here, I guess. Dude, I have, I have things to do's in a notepad from like 2014. Jesus Christ. Some we've never even done. What the fuck?

He's holding on to him just in case. I'm not. I just haven't deleted. It's just funny to look at him. Yeah. Michael said he's going to write them down and then not share them with anyone. Yeah.

Write them down, do them. Right. Yeah. And not even tell you I did them. But I'm telling you now I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to just know. That's like, Achievement Hunter is already like 2.0 is back.

Oh, we've already banged videos. Yeah, but they're just not releasing them. Yeah. Every week they're meeting up. But keep asking regulation when they're coming out. Just Eric. Yeah. Who they think is you.

Still, comments to this day. Same letters. Oh, yeah. I just found out this isn't Michael. Mike, Eric. Same, the exact same letters. Same letters. Michael and Gavin just don't interact the same anymore.

It's really weird. Fucking crazy. Crazy. It's funny, nobody comes to, like, my videos with Alfredo and thinks of you. Yeah, is right? No! Why would they? This doesn't make any sense.

Nerkin Alfredo? What is right? How did that happen? People are still getting over Michael and Jordan. I was going to say, this is almost as weird as Michael and Jordan. It doesn't make any sense. Especially when we started this show, people went, animation? Mark TAA, Georgia?

Yeah. What? Oh, people, some people would say, you would say, they wanted podcasts and then tried their best to not make this podcast. Yeah. You started making the podcast? Yeah. What are you doing?

Why did you do that? Well, we told you were, you're shutting down. You can have this worthless thing. Zero dollars. Second cuck experience. That's right. Boy, you missed out, Warner. Idiots.

Take that. Warner's one of the three profitable things from the company you sing. Right. Yeah. I was thinking about this the other day. I was going through old photos. I was looking for something. And I found photos.

of us in Shane's office because they wouldn't, like, it was like double-booked podcast recordings. We didn't ever have our own room. That wasn't the reason we were talking about the shithole, like, business place we had before this. And even though it was a piece of crap,

it was nice because we had our own space. We never had our own space in the entirety of the company. No. Because we said to share, like, room. So it's like, there'd be times we were set to record the podcast and someone else would just be in there because they went over time

and we're just, like, waiting. But then, but then, like, it backs everything up, right? Because it's like, unlike, some people were that one thing they did that day is what they did that day. It's like, I have like four more things to do. So we'd have to fucking film it. And so it's like, Shane, can we just sit at your desk? Sometimes we had other jobs to get to.

Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes for like a long period of time. Years. Some things were a lot of things at the end of that company. But today we went to Firehouse. Michael, what would we eat? Today we ate the Firehouse Sub-Smoking Honey Chicken Melts. No.

They are just called this. Smoking honey melts. But we got chicken. We ordered chicken. Yeah. And steak. And steak. Uh-huh.

Got steak. But we only got steak. Yeah. But there was just one lady working. Yeah. Until the other people showed up. I don't think they helped her at all. It did not seem to get any faster at all.

If anything, it was slower and they were in the way. Yeah. Probably. They were just blocking her. The, we. They were trying to bring in the poop hose. Called poopos. Pupos.

It's my New Jersey coming out. This is when you just start crushing words together. You take out vowels. It's faster. You like it. Bupos. But Dirk picked this and then it was revealed, hey, we're eating more honey chicken.

Why? We were. Why more honey chicken? Watching Torque earlier. And you told me and Nick, we were going to Firehouse Subs. And I was like, it's not more honey, is it? And you're like, uh, it's definitely honey. And it was like, I thought you said ham honey melts.

And I was like, did they put honey on ham? Which is sometimes just how it comes. Yeah, or is it baked in to the ham? Nope. Honey ham can stay. Yes. What about chicken honey? Everything chicken honey all the time now. You know what? They wouldn't even give it to us. That's fine. Nick and I had like the same thought where it was like, huh, chicken or steak.

But I don't know which one I want with honey. Uh-huh. Which one's better with honey? Yep. Me either. Well, we won't know because we only got one because we ordered three different ones and they went, nah. I feel like we probably know. We do? I feel like I know. Nick is going to take us to go find out tonight.

We got to know. You guys want to go back later? He's going to go with Dirk. You want to go back? Well, Dirk is what he wanted. Actually, didn't get what he wanted. He's like, I'm upset by this. Good, it's the 100% eat experience.

Then as soon as we got back, you were like, is anyone excited about this? And we were like, uh, and Dirk was like, I am. I like Firehouse. Doing my, my, my, uh, did not hear that. Uh-huh. And then you told me on the way to the airport. You were like, we're doing chicken hanging. I was like, are you fucking serious?

Really? Not even like disappointed, just like kind of surprised. Yeah. Like, are you kidding me? Still doing it? It's relentless. Chicken honey, 2026. At least it's not hot honey.

No, this was regular honey. Yeah. The-oh, it might have been good with hot honey. Who knows? The Chick-fil-A one was also not hot honey. It was regular honey, so I guess that wasn't hot honey. But it's-but it's-you-get the spicy ones. You did?

It's just honey-chicken, man. It's just so much honey chicken. Yeah. More people should do pimento. Yeah. Pimento shit. And good. Pimento.

Yeah. If this was pimento instead of a honey thing, this would have been really something. Man, they really globbed the cheese that was on this on it. It made the... What was it? The steak turned gray. Yeah. I don't think the cheese

made the steak turn. I think the gray was unrelated. It was not helping it look better. It was a pre-existing condition. It was. And not in a good way. It was bad. They were trying to cover it up and it wasn't working.

Yeah. But we just had, boy, we were there for like a long time. They also have, it's the first time I've been there where they have the big iPad ordering system. Usually you're to order at the front. I was so thrilled. Every time there's an iPad ordering system, it just is like a pay. I told the credit card.

came out. Dude, what the fuck? Normally, Nick's on your ass to the level of, like, nonsense. Dude, you, you fucking look an idiot today. Swipe in and pull a canceling. And then, oh,

then she was like, yeah, it said, like, there was like a car greed error and then it put like an unhappy face on the iPad and she went, it's like patronizing. Yeah. It was like,

it sucks. Oops. Why don't you try again? Like, Shucks, buddy. Hey, Champ. Damn. What did you do it right?

Champ, you hungry? Dude, I was, I was swiping it every way, tap and it. He was trying to. and in the middle of it, Star Wars Monopoly came up? It was really weird. The Nick kept screaming.

Fucking don't send him to jail again. Roll double's bitch. That was really fun video we made. Which parts were you talking? We didn't make it. And also, no, it wasn't. Hey. Fucking Star Wars.

Hey, I wasn't there and I had fun. Fucking bullshit. I remember I was in the middle of filming Assassin's Creed with Alfredo, which is fucking amazing. Oh, the new one? The Resink? Oh, it's fantastic. And I went, oh, I think Eric's upset somewhere.

Yeah. I could feel it. It's in the fourth. It's like a dopamine game. It's not an imbalance. It's like if you're enjoying a game and like you just him, him suffering. I was sitting there going something is being taken from somewhere. Yeah, it was really cool.

And I feel like it only happens that way. The light side, the dark side. It's miserable. Fucking's playing this game. Nick didn't even like it. No, I hated it. There you go. Right after in the ride-long, Nick goes, we have fun.

Fuckin' fucking hated it! And it's like in the same breath. It was also nice because it was funny we went and saw the iPad and you were so relieved you were like, oh, I don't have to talk to somebody I can just like tap on this

and then like as we're like gathered around Courtney says okay and then we he likes when we get close to him right in this situation. Oh that's awesome

I was saying it as I was breathing down his neck we have to crowd right and I said yes and also if he asks if you want anything say no and then say what you want. Then start a separate sentence

like to yourself just kind of talking out loud something you might get. Ooh! Those cookies are good. We don't have six cookies. Don't answer a direct question, but maybe point to things

in the window. Or start talking about what's across the street or on the way back? We're not on the way back. I asked if anyone wanted anything and then Nick, like,

asked a question back about and then answered. That was the question. Yeah, we fucking got it. And we did get it because I was suggesting we get it. Yeah. What don't you get, Michael?

all the comments would be like man Michael was really dropping the ball today so we got the mac and cheese also we got two of the mac and cheese we'll get to that okay is that part of the review I don't know I didn't fucking eat it I don't care did you try any of the macon juice? Okay any opinions on

Firehouse in general is the place yeah I don't like it okay my my opinion was like whatever I never go there and then since then we've gone a couple times and I realized I don't like it oh wow It's not shocking. I'm pretty sure I said this last. It's not good. I'll be honest, it's not like it's good. Uh-huh. But it's not down there as far as like the worst things that we get.

No, it's not. No. It's just like I would never, if I wanted a sub, I would never choose there. I feel like sandwiched places. Like five places. Yeah, they're so like saturated that like who's even picking, sorry. Firehouse. That's why. It's crazy.

It wasn't like I was just like we were going there. I was like, really it's your favorite? Well, not your favorite. But like you, that's like, you like, you can pick. Can you go with Firehouse? You're not settling? Listen, I gave him the options. One of the options was Burger King, and he was like,

we were kind of talking about it. Oh my gosh, should we pick Burger King to torture them? And it's like, yeah, but I really like Firehouse. Do you also like Burger King? No, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that's smart that because he would have to eat Burger King and that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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You want to learn about it? We've done so many episodes on Firehouse. What? Yeah. I actually know a lot about it. No stuff. I think so. All right.

The last firehouse episode was December 2nd, 2025 where we ate firehouse subs. French dip. They received an average rating of 50. Yeah. Any memories? Nope. Not all. That was the one with the very watery Oju, right?

Yep. Remember, we just did the Oju and we just went, nothing. This is brown water. That came from the poopos. It was just nothing. It was so thin. They had that diarrhea. They did.

It's the new diary. It's going around. Alphreyo was mentioning that when we were filming the other day, and he said something like, oh, you want to get it or whatever? And I was like, you're talking to a guy that has so many stomach issues with lactose intolerance? There are days I wish I had diarrhea. I was like, I don't care how bad it is coming out.

Bitch, it's coming out. That's, it's horrible. You're begging God for diarrhea. And you just curl into a fetal position. Please, please, please. I get sleep, I get shit. Just keep some infected. Kill me!

Baby by Minecraft! Just keep some infected lettuce nearby. Nick, I just got an idea. Yeah. I was writing it down. GTA6, poop hose. This is a Gavin-coded IT. Your ice is going to be cool.

Continuing to raise money for first responders, Firehouse Subs, Public Safety Foundation awarded an $18,5009 grant to University of North Florida Police Department on a medium-large novelty check. What? The money is earmarked for life-saving gear and medical supplies, which they will use to help ICE,

who UNF has been partnered with since January. Honestly, the ICE agents probably just want subs, so cut out the middleman and give them ham and cheese, no veggies, because their mom said they don't have to eat those if they don't want. It's true. Yes, the university's partnered with ICE since January. What?

Yeah. It's North Florida. Where's the fire department in any of this? They give money to first responders, not just fire departments. And in fact, not fire departments. And also, it's not like a sales. Police Department. It is the University of North Florida.

The novelty check that they gave them. So there's like- There's like a- You know, when you think of like a novelty check, Right. It said- It was like this. Okay, that's not medium-large, dude.

That's small novelty. Yeah, yeah. If you use the word novelty, I think the standard size is like Publishers Clearing House. Yeah. That's what I'm thinking. It's, it was very small. And it was like, oh.

Oh. Probably look big when you held it. You think I held it? Comment. Good one, Michael. The check. It's so medium. It's not big.

It's right here. It's pointless. It'd be huge if you gave it to like a kid to play with. But to present is pointless. The check would have been for $18,559. But they had to buy the check. The office. Oh, man.

That's it? No, next. I think there's a couple more, actually. I was hoping he'd believe me again. Restaurant Brands International owner Firehouse subs as well as Burger King, Tim Wharton, and Popeyes have started a, quote, Reclaimed the Flame Initiative

that is meant to see the launch of over 90 new locations among the brands. Firehouse is leading the charge, recently expanding into Australia for the first time. The worst performing brand under RBI's umbrella is Popeyes, which is seeing a decline in sales and closures. captured that chicken sandwich hype, maybe hire the sauce monkey to stab someone in the parking lot over it.

Light the spark. You don't even need to pay him for that. Yeah, he'll just do it. Yeah, yeah. I've never had the spicy. Never had it. You wouldn't let him on the show, asshole! I think about it all the time how we should have bought the chicken sandwich from the guy in the car. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. It's just, we weren't ready yet. We didn't know. We didn't know. We weren't ready. They should have invited Nick. Well, I think we already knew. Look at where I got him. Nick. I was in your quarter before you knew you knew your You had a corner. Thank you.

He was writing up front with you before he knew he shouldn't. I was like working to piss Eric off when I had no idea. I was just following an instinct. It was like the force. I don't like it. Should be. Something tells me this is the way. Give him a mask.

Make him speak. Michael, you've turned off your targeting computer. I'm fine. Trust me. I can't believe Popeyes is the worst performing brain under... That is surprising. Popeye says actual good food. I would think Tim Hortons would be like the lowest performer just because it's a...

I think of those chains like a smaller one. Yeah. But it's expanding a lot into the U.S. They do well in Canada. Popeyes is just kind of like, I think they're losing ground because everyone is doing chicken sandwiches now. It's true. The specialty of the chicken of Popeye's in the day, chicken at a like a burger place was

very just like shit. But also... They want chicken chicken. Popeyes was, I don't think Popeyes was ever that big. They just had that boom with the chicken sandwich. Get him! Stabbed.

The Popeyes had going for them is just KFC sucking. Yes. It was kind of a domino's effect. Or like with Pizza Hut. But they just kind of doing down the drain. And like they suck, but the thing with KFC is they make a ton of money worldwide. It's true.

Like Pizza Hut. Yep. 360 million. They fucking suck and people still go there. But Pizza Hut sold off. No longer in her yum. I wonder what we can come up. China. That can save Popeyes.

Like, this chicken sandwich. And even spicier chicken sandwich. I think I go crazier. You want to go crazier? Yeah. I almost think, should they go hamburger? And kind of lead. If Popeyes did a hamburger, we would be there day one. We have to. Nobody's done that.

Imagine if it was good. Imagine going to Popeyes and they have the best fast food burger. They could. That would be awesome. They could use like the oil from the chicken to like, Nice. I put that trash can in here. Just for that.

I like it. I saw. That one's out. Now he needs that one. Normal Nana. Yep. I bet it could... He just got one.

Oh, you want it? Okay. Oh, he's not real. Oh, that was close. That was close. That was close. I was saying he actually did a good job that time of not. I'm not doing a full rip.

Because I don't want to take a full rip. He goes, I'll just try it. You get too close. It's scary. I just want to taste it. And then Nick goes, oh, I'm so jealous. Yes. I am. Now, when they find your DNA on this,

and my murdered body. No! Oh, no! We'll get into Michael's plan for planning evidence on everyone he knows. Someone's going down for something. I think Popeye's doing hamburger is such a great idea just to try it. Fuck it. If all of a sudden...

Like left field. If all of a sudden they went, Popeyes, we do hamburger. Yeah. We're trying it. Try it out. Yeah. Okay. Cool. Hamburgers. Can't be that hard. Can't be their... Everyone else does it.

Let's show these fucking. How easy this is. Love that burger from Popeyes. That sounds insane. That's like an alternate universe. Yeah. It's like a movie and it's like something It's weird.

Burgers at Popeyes? That burger from Popeye. That's like that ad over the radio. There's nothing but Popeye selling cheeseburgers. What the fuck? That's what they take a shit. You use this cheeseburger. You don't know how to use the three cheeseburgers?

In April, a worker at a Georgia firehouse subs called the police after her co-worker poured boiling water down her back, leaving her with first-degree burns crazy. The man was arrested for battery and said he only did it because she laughed at him when he got burned. Wow, lady, I guess safety's a big joke at firehouse subs, huh? Well, what if this guy tripped over the firehouse shit hose and the hose detached and then it all sprayed everywhere all over the place and it even sprayed in his mouth a little bit and he had to taste it? Would you still be laughing?

Wow, sauce monkey, put the kettle on. Time to even the odds. Yep. No, I didn't do it. You can taste a little bit while you're there. I would be laughing. That sounds really funny. Try it with Chick-fil-A sauce. Yeah.

It makes it just like Chick-fil-A. It's really good. The idea of you laughed at me because I burned my hand a little bit. And boiling water. And down the neck. It's just so many layers of like, like, ow, I got burned.

Even if you're going, I'm mad of you. I'm going mad of you. I'm a burn you. like my, like hand. Yeah. Like, yeah, I'll get you when you're not looking. Down your back.

Yeah. Down your back with boiling water all the way down your back. First degree burns. Do you think he got first degree burns? I think he just got burned. I think he just got burned and then he didn't,

don't laugh at me off. Do you think they have people ready to like respond immediately like in house? Yeah, you were saying that the more people showed up at Firehouse subs to work in the back

after they got done with a fire. Yeah. That's probably where they were. Yeah. They got a Dalmatian and everything. It's like, we got a call. It's coming from the kitchen! Yeah.

This lady got burned. Get the holes. Don't the boobos! No! Got in my mouth a little bit. Don't laugh. Poopos! And the final fact, if we're calling these facts.

In September of last year, Maryland resident, Barry Jeremiah Perrin, Peron, was arrested for disorderly conduct in a firehouse after we got drunk, entered the restaurant, then started an argument with a customer, and blocked anyone else from leaving. Whoa.

Police arrested the man who gave the statement, quote, In May of this year, buried Jeremiah Perron was arrested for parking his car in the middle of the road where police found him asleep behind the wheel. Atharys attempted to conduct field sobriety testing, but Perron did not comply, giving the statement, quote, just take me to jail. Jail in Maryland must be like six flags or something. This guy can't get enough of it.

He should just get a job at jail. Do what you love. Never work a day in your life. We should send sauce monkey to jail to investigate. Maybe it's good? Maybe jail is like six flags. Schedule that fucking oil change. We're going to six flags.

Getting arrested Just take me to jail And then six months later Passed out in your car in the middle Around Just take me to jail The next time it happens He says just take me home

Yeah It happens every time I leave Getting drunk at a firehouse Getting drunk going to a firehouse ups Not at, yeah Not at before Do you think it's because He's wanting to go back

And he's got to like ramp up the stakes every time Yeah yeah he's got to do something cool Got to dial it up. Bigger, yeah, yeah. He's going to do a GTA-style high suit. He's going to, like, heat. Yeah.

It's just going to be this guy in Maryland. He's just going to say, just take me to jail. Just take me to jail. He walks in. He has a ski mask on at the bank, and he passes a note that just says, take me to jail. Oh, man. Push the button. Yeah.

You got it, sir. You got to, like, try to rob the place. Yeah. Yeah, you have to demand. I'm sorry. These are rules. I don't make them. Yeah.

I'm not pushing this button for nothing. Yeah, yeah. This is, listen, the cops will come. you go back home. Yeah. We'll do the song and dance. He's like, this used to be easy.

It gets hard and hard to go to jail. I couldn't believe. I found the one Firehouse drunk at the Firehouse story and I was like, oh, that's crazy. And then like on the website found related articles.

Found a related article. It was actually a fact taken from Firehouse, it was his mugshot, but in a different shirt. And I just went, and I went, no fucking way.

What else did he do? Dude, and then it's passed out drunk the middle of the road in a car. Yeah. Hey, what's up, man? You don't go back home? It's like finding Daniel L on Yelp. God damn, dude. People found his profile and they were reading his

reviews. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah. I'm sure they were really, like, sound. One of the ones that we read, didn't even realize from 2011. He was, he had to do this for a while, huh? He's been a Yelper for a long, long time. He wants to leave those one-star reviews for... I'm sure he identifies as a Yelpsist. Sounds

weird, man. I don't know if I like that. Yelpis makes me nervous. It's a big smile. That's it. Those are all the facts. I'm done. I read them all. You guys learn a lot? I learned a lot about Jeremiah, I guess.

Was there any outcome of the Georgia Firehouse Subs guy burning that lady? He got arrested. That was it. I'm sure he got fired. Played the month. Turns out she did deserve it. Upon further investigation. Maybe. And here's the thing they're leading out. What if she was on?

fire. Boiling water, I guess, is better than being on fire. Uh-huh. So, you want to get burned? Do you want to get burned? Yeah. You got to fight fire with fire water. Yeah. Well, that would be alcohol, but that's fine.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, okay. Nick's into that. Nick's really into that. Definitely make it worse. Yeah, for everyone. I just don't know, working at a firehouse subs and throw it. What is the boiling water for at firehouse subs?

What are they boiling? You got boiling the meat. Is that what we hate? It was gray. It was gray. I heard it was gray because of the cheese they put on it. That's what you said. That's what I said.

You think that's what I said? Michael said that. Michael said it. It's three white guys. You can't tell us the part. I'm watching regulation video. Even Nick didn't know I was in it. And I sat next to him.

He edited it. When did Michael get here? Andrew. Who's Andrew? I've never met him. Neither is Gavin. Pinballs? He sounds like Bernie.

Oh my God. You want me to read a... James and the Leaser year. That's true. That is true. Blaine left him here. Hopefully he picked a home. Yeah, I hope.

Yeah, I was looking... I don't know how long they were waiting there. Yeah. Sad. Gosh. We went up and said hi and then we're like, all right, we got to go. And they're like, but we've been waiting for hours.

Yeah. Have you seen Blaine? Can you tell Blaine? He doesn't live here anymore. Yeah. Blaine died six years ago in this very day. Who have been talking to it. Do you want to learn about the food?

Firehouse subs, smoking honey melts. Okay? This is the one we didn't get. Smoke in, no G, no apostrophe either. Smoking honey chicken melt, grilled chicken, drizzled with Chipotle, honey sauce, tender red and green bell peppers, caramelized onions with melted provolone cheese inside a toasted sub bowl.

Sounds really good. Yeah. So the honey is in the sauce. Yes. a Chipotle honey sauce. And they don't call them smoking Chipotle honey melts. No.

The smoking is supposed to imply the Chipotle? Yes. I guess so. All right. Also, hey, how are your caramelized onions? There were onions? I have no idea, dude.

I don't know. I just closed my eyes. Honestly. Do we have any of them lying around still? I sure do. They are... Not Derhisha said no, by the way. Tasty.

Dirk went monkey mode and ate the rest of it. I'll go get it. Let's go investigate. Because the onions, you can read the second one, but it's saying caramelized onions. The smoking... Get the cookies. The smoking honey steak melt is shaved steak,

drizzled with Chipotle honey sauce, tender red and green bell peppers, caramelized onions with melted provolone cheese inside, a toasted sub-roll. There's a lot of bread. Okay, well, Jordan Reddwell was gone, so I don't know what it was. You'll never believe it. The steak one also had caramelized onions.

Those are not caramelized. That's what I'm saying. Those are onions. Yeah. They did not caramelize a fucking thing. They were also not tender red or green bell pepper. Well, that's red. Well, that's not tender. It's red. It's not tender. Here, get the pickle you on it. No, stop. You answered the pickle question. Yeah, you answered. Stop, no, no. Sure. Why is this dead man's pickle in your pocket? Can I explain that? Is it a dead man's pickle? Oh, interesting. So these are the same thing, but it's the difference in, like, the protein. We order... Look, she was the only one there.

I think that might have to do with... I don't have time to caramelize! Caramelize, were you nuts! Chicken and steak? No chicken. Chicken's close. No cookie, no cream cookies. You get regular chocolate chip.

You get steak only! She told us that she didn't have six of those cookies. Yeah. No, she said she had none. None of them. Okay. None of them. She's like, she's like, on six, I don't have any.

Okay. I also don't have any help. You did. She's like, I'm alone back here. I'm dying. It was, uh, it was a cookies and cream leaning over going, hurry the fuck up. Yeah. There's a cookie.

Cookies and cream flavored cookie. And Courtney just kept going, it's cookie flavored cookie? Yeah. This cookie is just cookie flavor. How do they do that? Like, I guess I didn't really think about it. Yeah, it's just a cookie flavored cookie. But then there's also an Oreo flavor that.

That's Oreo Blizzard? Yes, yeah, yeah. They had a... How did they do that? There's an Oreo that's Oreo blizzard so the cream is flavored like Oreo Blizzard, which is crushed up Oreo. So this is a lot out there.

Are they admitting that they make their ice cream out of Oreo cream? I have no idea what they did. Because why would they source like Dairy Queen's ice cream for the cream and the Oreo? Surely they wouldn't. I don't know. I have no idea. Nobody knows.

Yeah. So anyway, we got regular chocolate chip cookie. Nick picked them. He picked regular boring chocolate chocolate chocolate. six up. That's all they had there. He walked up. He walked over. Michael said that he was like,

hey, grabbed them all with like one hand. He walked over and put them down at our table and then stepped away and like, you gotta have like a hero shot. Stood there, yeah. To me, it looked like he went back to his like, a post. Yes.

But when I post... When I post these, I'm going to post them in the order that makes it look like he's looking at the cookies and then grabbing the cookies. So it looks like he has cookie greed. You will wire. Your greed sickens me.

Yeah. I'm liar you are. Any more cookies? Yeah, there's like half of one down there was mine. I didn't take any bites out of it. I know I took mine either. I was watching. I know, I clocked that shit. Yeah, bitch, I saw.

Made a mental note. He wasn't asking because he wanted to know. He was asking to see if you knew where your cookie was. Because if you didn't, making sure you didn't throw it away. That's his cooking now. All right. Oh, you think it's downstairs?

Yeah, you get along. Now what do you think? I guess nothing. I don't know. Just try to find your nuts.com. Chocolate gummy bears. Did you leave those? the back of the car?

Absolutely, I did. I tucked them in tight. It's funny because at the time, Nick didn't give a shit. That's fine. That's perfectly fine. Nick, they're going to be all melted together. It's not that hot.

It won't get hot today. It's like 81 degrees. Also, Nick, famous for getting stuff out of that car as soon as Michael needs it. Those are going in the garage. Well, he can't open the garage. Those are going in the driveway.

Where it's nice and cool. In about three weeks, you might get them back. Thank you for those. I'll remember my thing. Look, it's a gift for you for later, dude. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. He didn't know you were talking about it.

I thought you planned evidence. I just said it and I didn't care. I thought you played in evidence. Guys, I turned the page over. Evidence of a good time. There's Presbyterial. There is Presbyterial. And it says this.

Okay. Guests fell in love with our steak and cheese melt and that told us they won more from this lineup, said Carolina Bertie, chief marketing officer at firehouse subs. We built the smoking. This one's got an apposchita. It does.

Honey melts around a new Chipotle sauce. We couldn't stop tasting. Smoky. A little sweet with just a mild kick. And because we're founded by firefighters, we hold ourselves to a higher standard. What?

You know what they mean. You know what they mean, dude. Both. Both subs are delicious. They're here. And we can't wait for us to try them. Guys, the new food? It's over there.

They put it in the press material. They're here. They're here. They're like, Carolina. Stop tasting them. Yeah, I can't. They're here. They're here. I must taste.

This food is good. And they're here. And guess what? You can get it. You can get it. Unless you order it. You don't. Then you don't.

So we only got six of the steak melts. There needs to be an asterisk there that says, depending on how many people are working at the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's one, you get steak. Yeah, yeah. Also, not a lot of people at the firehouse. Didn't somebody walk in and go, usually it's more crowded? Yes, there was a guy who was quietly having a conversation with the one woman working there who went, yeah, usually I'm used to being like way more crowded in here. Like, no one's here.

And it was like, he was like, am I, did I miss something? Why am I still coming here? Right. Yeah. Should I not come here anymore? Did the convention leave down? They got to hire that guy. Dude, what the fuck.

Angry as the man in the world. I love a press material that doesn't get to like buzzwordy whatever. It's true. But they're here is the new one. That is one that is like... Yeah, where you're just like, so what are you saying? They're here.

Yeah. Come get them. The sauce was good. Yeah. We couldn't stop tasting it. That seems like a weird way to describe. We couldn't stop eating it. I kept licking the spoon.

But then I kept mixing and I didn't clean the spoil. They're here. I got to lick the mixers after they were done. It was my special treat because we're firefighters and we hold ourselves to a higher standard. End of sentence. End of sentence, no explanation. What does that mean about the sandwich?

Also, we're founded by firefighters. No one's working there also being a firefighter. We don't know. We don't know. The people came back could have been firefighters. I don't know. I think maybe that one lady wasn't a firefighter. firefighter and that's it. That's why she didn't get to go. Oh, like they left her out.

They were on a call. Yeah, that's what I think. They rotate. That's every firehouse sub's location is also a fire house. Oh, that's the fire department. Well, people do throw scalding, burning water on the air. The engines, the fire engines in the back. It's in the back. Well, that's the, the poopos is connected to it. So that's how we get this stuff in and out. And that makes sense. So, well, that's good. Right now, for a limited time, everyone's part of the Buick team, Even you. Buick's employee pricing for you event is on now. Get a purchase credit of up to $3,168 on a 2026 Buick Envision. Surround yourself with signature Buick refinement from an available massaging driver's seat to an expansive panoramic moonroof and a stunning ultra-wide 30-inch diagonal screen. Don't miss Buick's employee pricing for you event. Visit buick.com for more details.

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But we have our review of Firehouse Subs. We need to hear from you in a segment we call you review. They're almost sized ones. There are three regular ones. I'll go first. This one's from Alfredo Diaz. What? It's Alfredo C.S.

Same guy, same name, same person. That was weird. That was in stereo. How'd you do that, Nick? I'm good. I know why they don't give you a receipt to avoid the survey. What?

Apostrophy, exclamation mark. Got one through anyway. Ordered the hero, capital H, as I usually do. Not what I got. What I got was ham sandwich. Well, won't be driving past 10 subways anymore and curious they don't answer the phone. I can't help that for whatever reason this was deliberate.

Can't you help that? I find it hard to believe since the kitchen ticket was correct that this was somehow not intentional. Oh, fuck this guy. Alfred. He's targeted. This is only, this one only gets better. He's being targeted. The look I got from the person handing me the order struck me odd.

but thought little of it at the time. When I got home and saw the sandwich, it sort of made sense. Hang on. Why? Why? Don't really know. There's a conspiracy. Those guys have a conspiracy-minded for sure. It all made sense.

I'm not sure why. Yeah. Just a feeling. I merely placed the order, paid, and waited. Why not hand out receipts and then not answer the phone? Too far to go back. I love the concept. of their mission to help firefighters,

but they are not inexpensive. It is a $2.55 for two sandwiches. That's not that bad. 20. Oh, $20.50. For 20 sandwiches. Not combos, note to self. Ask for her receipt.

Don't to self. When not offered one. Do you ever go about your day and be like, I have to check that Yelp review I left. I left a note there. Gracie reminded herself on an Instagram post that she was going to eat that chicken sandwich. She forgot. She didn't say note to self. That's why.

Yeah, no to sell. You gotta eat this later. The look I got from the person handing me the order struck me as odd, but thought little of it as the time. And then suddenly, like, he opened the sandwich and then he would like, the camera zoomed into his eye. It went flashback. It's like a slow-mo guy's video where it makes that sound. And then like just like, but at the same time, it's when someone figures it all out and then he did that and then went, I'm not sure why though. Yeah.

then everything drops. The only evidence he has is the guy looked at him a little funny. Well, there's so much evidence. Didn't give him the receipt. They answered the phone. Right. They knew. Something is a mess.

When the phone rang, it was like, it's the guy I gave the wrong sandwich to. I'm not answering it. That's why. The survey. That he never mentioned again. He got one through. Dude. When I got home and saw the sandwich, it sort of made sense.

Why? don't really know. Incredible. This all makes sense now. Why? I don't get it. Yeah. I'm cracking this case right open.

What does it mean? Huh? This goes all the way to the top. Hello? Where? Who? And it's just, he ordered a sandwich and you got ham and cheese or whatever. You got diabolical.

What I got was ham sand. I don't know if that's what he got or if he's using like a slaggot what I got was ham sandwich Hams sandwich Fucking nuts Alfredo C.S is fucking crazy dude, keep him away from our our Alfredo don't drive past 10 subways anymore What does that mean? Like that he would try he's gonna go to subway instead And sometimes he's past me 8th 1 and he's like really more turning two more subways and I can make the firehouse Sobs this is my favorite dirt told me about it

How many subways do you drive fast to get in my house? You don't want to know. Today, probably 10. Probably. We drove by 10. Texas. Maybe more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You probably flew over quite a lot of it. Think about all the subways you pass to get that sandwich. All right. Jose L. I don't even know why I'm giving this location a single star. What? Okay. Why leave a review?

Carol, the manager, has yet to give me a call for the sandwich I bought for pickup. which was completely wrong and when I called back politely to say, hey, it's okay, I have a cafe here at work and I'll just, and I'll eat just this sandwich is not anything I'd ever eat.

Can you guys correct it next time? The employee gave me attitude. I called for a third time now in the evening and Lisa, an employee, not manager, handled the situation by saying she will leave a note for Carol to call. Dot, dot, dot. Now I don't even want to talk to Carol.

She obviously is okay with rude employees and not calling back loyal customers. Janos Deli will now only get my hard-earned money and I'll parade her around talking about how horrible this location is. What are you on about? So what's the cafe at his work all about? I was going to say, so you're telling me, you told Carol, Hey, it's okay, I have a cafe here at work and I'll eat this. Just this sandwich is not anything I'd ever eat. That's exactly what he told her.

Made perfect sense. And she was confused? No. Hey, Carol, get a load of this. Why don't you call back? I don't even know why I'm giving this location a single star. I don't know either. What the hell are you talking about?

Are they saying they can't, they wish they gave it a zero? Well, they can't, though. It's not how Yelp works. You have to give at least one star. So when you say, I don't know why, no one knows then. You're the only person who knows. You're the one leaving it.

What does it mean? Just don't write a review. The. Carol's not going to talk to you. The thing. The thing that sort of baffled me and that I learned since we started this show and started doing U reviews is a lot of people call fast food places. Yeah.

Yeah. They expect their problem to get solved. Yeah. Over the phone with someone who works at a firehouse subs. And the thing about it is, you got to drive past all the 10 subways. The thing about it is, even if you get this person on the phone, even if you get whatever you want, you're not going to get food through the phone. No.

It's not. Like, I don't even understand. And at best, you can try and get like a refund, like a coupon or something. Yeah, a coupon is probably the best you're going to get. But if your situation is like, fix my food, you still have to go there. Yeah. And you can do both at the same time. If you go there, fix your food and maybe get a free sandwich or something.

I don't understand calling over the phone. Nothing. And then, not only that, that's where it starts. I can't believe these people call. These people call, leave messages, and wait for calls back. Yes. How many days are you going over this fucking sandwich? For the love of fuck, I don't even know why I'm leaving one star.

I do. They're like pasting around me like, I'm going to get a call back. Carol's going to say, Hey, you want to go out later? Can't I'm waiting for a call. I got to stay by the landline. Right.

So what? Stay off the internet. I'm waiting for Carol. So what is up with the cafe though? I still don't. So if they have it at work and they'll eat just this sandwich is not anything they'd ever eat.

Now, are you talking about the sandwich at the cafe or the sandwich from there? Right. It sounds like you also have a sandwich at the cafe you don't want to eat. But you'll make it. do? Why would Carol need to know about the cafe? So she knows he's not going hungry.

The pressure is off. Exactly. But maybe he pressures off. Maybe pressures off a little bit too much because now she's not calling. Right. Yeah. I feel like it was a blunder mentioning the cafe because Carol's now like he's fine. He's fine. He's got the cafe just sandwiches. Yeah. Carol, babe, chill. I got the cafe at work. We can handle this over the phone.

Three times he called nuts. Fucking crazy. I mean, that's not even to get started on Lisa. No, oh, attitude. Hey, Jordan, you want to read this last one? Yeah, this is the last one. Okay, check it out. From Kansas City. Casey.

I don't normally write reviews, but every time I've gone here, Carol has been extremely rude for no reason. She always has a terrible attitude and is just straight, mean to customers. Whoa. Dirk's falling over over there. I can see him in the corner of my eye. Plus, I've only ever spoken to her in a nice way.

Even after she continues to speak terribly to me, I can understand people have bad days, but this seems to be an everyday thing for her. She's having a bad life. She refused to add toppings to my sandwich, saying that it was already made and then proceeded to make me wait over five minutes because they hadn't even started making it yet.

What? I don't ever want to come back to this location again, as long as she's working there. Does Carol-Hose? Jose, you don't want Carol to call you. Dude, Carol's busy chewing someone else out. What's on Carol?

Jose's on hold. Casey's getting fucking bitched out by Carol. It's a hold signal. But like, I can hear someone yelling at it. You're lucky, talk to Lisa. Well, he can't get a hold of Carol because she's so busy making this other guy sandwich, even though it's already made,

won't put toppings on it. Yeah, also. But it's already made, won't put toppings on it, but also had to wait because they didn't make it yet. Right. Is, uh... What? Was Carol the one person working at the firehouse? Holy shit.

Well, if it was, though, Carol was very nice. Yeah. Yeah. She sick a little stress, but that's understanding. Well, she got the Jose situation set of once and for all. So now that's one more off of her life. I'll be honest with you, though, that wouldn't surprise me if that was Carol and then that's these people like, this fucking bitch. Yeah.

Yeah. Doing nothing. Right. Sitting there, fuck it on my order, screaming at me. This is what I'm going, hey, sorry guys, I'm alone back here. Yeah, sorry. I'm the only one back here. We're out of cookies.

I don't have this. This motherfucker wouldn't give me cookies. This bitch wouldn't answer the phone. She was crushing cookies, throwing him in the trash just so we couldn't get them. I've seen it. The place was empty. No one was even there. I watched one man lie to his friend about six sandwiches being done.

The look on his face crestfallen. This firehouse sucks. Is that a horror? Honestly, it was pretty funny. It's a positive experience. Really good prank, actually. Damn. I don't know if Carol's the hero or the villain, I don't know.

You know, I don't know. You decide. Write your own story. Again, it's just people who, like, they really expect, like, the most, like, nice, like, service from, like, somebody working out of... Some people don't even expect nice service. They expect, like, I am your master. Yes. You were for me.

They go to be served. They did not bow before me. Yeah. There was, it's the people that go in. It's like, everything was fine. Order was smooth. Food came out great. They didn't say hello.

Yeah, they didn't say thanks come again. They didn't smile at me. Go fuck yourself. Jump off a cliff. When we ordered today, I put an 18% tip on. And then she was like, hey, guys, just so you know, bear with me, I'm the only one here. Six sandwiches is going to take a little bit.

And then Michael was like, yeah, usually like 18% for like a fast food place is like fucking crazy, but maybe... For six sandwiches. I just watched him. The man couldn't pay for like 10 minutes. He was just trying to get out. But it was like a $15 tip. Yeah. Like 18%.

And as he hated it, I was like, that's kind of a lot. Yeah. And then like a minute later I went, do you think we should give her more? Michael's like, does anyone have cash or do we have a, uh, do we help this lady out? Yeah. Yeah. A side of bean and add like a hot-to-one percent tip. Dude, it was crazy.

Oh, speaking of. of sight of being, the pasta pass is... Did you see that? Coming back, yeah. Pasta pen to go, quick, man. I didn't want to be the 100th person to text terms about it. Should we ask him anyway?

Do you any text case of opinions? Yeah. Okay. Just in case. You say this though, Jordan, you're thinking of it like you and not Chris. Like, I don't have the 100th. Chris hopes you're the 100th person.

Well, yes, I did get it. Thank you for asking. I do know about it. I set a timer. You know what? I'm glad to you thought of me. How will he still at his time? Who else would I think?

Right? He's going to be going. you go to Torchis, you get the queso, then you go to Olive Garden, dude, he's got the route. Oh, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He was probably busy telling Blaine about it. That's why he was late picking up Jesus.

He just has Blaine cornered. Hey, the Potsamast, he's coming back in our area. He's like, I gotta go. Please, please. Wait? Oh, man. I'll come with you. Well, we learned a lot about Firehouse subs,

and those are your, reviews of Firehouse subs. But we have our reviews of Firehouse subs smoking honey melts. Okay, Chris said I thought they retired it. Apparently he did not know. Whoa. You're the only one. I'll find the link and I'll sign it to him right now.

Remember that next time you think I don't want to overlook Chris. He's actually upset you didn't tell him sooner. That's the bystander effect, you know? We're like 50 people see an accident happen. Someone will step in. Someone else is stepping in. Yeah. I have to film it.

Along with 50 other people. You call 911. No, you do it. I'm on my phone. Now he has to redo his budget. At the time of this, at the time of this recording, it goes on sale in one day and 21 hours.

Oh, dude, he's got timed. He has less than two days to get ready. Yeah. You can move some meetings around. I think he can figure it out. Yeah, he will figure it out. He has, he's clearing his schedule as we speak. I thought they were tired of it.

Question mark, exclamation point. What? Yeah, he was thrilled. That's awesome. We have our reviews of Firehouse subs. Smoky, smoking honey melt, sorry. And they are this.

Jordan, what do you think? It's actually not that bad. I thought it was okay. At the end, all the sauce was like pulled in the corner of the roll, and I wish it was more evenly distributed because it's actually not bad. Yeah.

It is, I want to say it's smoky or like hot. It's not smoky anyway. It's a little sweet, which like, it's not sticky, which I appreciated. Yeah. Didn't like the look of it. It looked awful. Tell you that.

It looked terrible. And I kind of do, I want to know what the chicken looks like because the steak was rough. If it was gray, would that be good? You want the chicken to be gray? Well, it's from the cheese. Yeah. You said that.

No, I said that. Eric. Dirk? I'm Eric. He's... Don't look at your TV. I'm Eric. What? We're watching on TV.

It's pretty good. I try to sound like then people really screwed I do wish caramelized options would have been good more tender bell peppers fucking carol

yeah bitch wasn't caramelizing anything Chris just sent an emoji back he's just like a yeah he's gonna get two

yeah he's like I needed a separate ID I'll try to get one per customer I'll try to get an extra one for him but overall the taste for me and the texture and everything, it was solid. The mac and cheese was also surprisingly good for being from a fast food place.

Yeah. Like Firehouse subs. Because I think we were just talking about how it's always bad. Yeah. And it usually is. The bar's pretty low. This isn't amazing, but it's pretty good for what it is. It's above the bar.

Yeah. Yeah. The texture was good. It was creamy. Like it was better than I was expecting from a sandwich place doing mac and cheese. Yeah. We're not selling chicken. All that being said, I refuse to give you chicken.

And they're there. They're here. They're here. They're here. Subs in general, not really my jam. But this one's just going to get a 66. 66. I pretty much agree with Jordan exactly.

I don't like Firehouse. And the last one got a 50 and I know I didn't like it. And this looked awful. It was better than I thought. It had to be better than the last time. Like I ate it going, this is a good firehouse experience. And I still don't like it. But I agree.

62. 62. It was like, weird. I was eating and kind of going like, oh man, I mean, this isn't great, but like,

this is not bad. Yeah. Yeah. It's an average rating of 64. It's definitely better than the French dip. Yes. Yeah, it's... Damn, Dirk knew something.

It's a... He was on to it. Hey, we're at the drive, man. We're at the drive. Let's go tomorrow. No, let's go back, dude. Maybe look at the chicken.

86. Jesus Christ. That's a Dirk lover score. Carol be damned. He's given an 86. And this isn't 86, by the way, immediately critiquing it like Nick. He's immediately... Oh, he went into the sauce drawer?

Just like quiet the entire time. The second he's eating it fucking just comments. Like, well, hang on. The Paco's Pete was good on it, right? And they needed to start with this. They started colluding. Dude, the two of that I started being out, it was like double vision. Yeah.

Couldn't tell him apart. He was letting us know like, she's like, Dirk is not letting on how weird he is. He's way weirder about this, he's way closer to and next. She said about one second before he unleashed. And then it was, Yeah! And then we, I opened the sauce store and he went,

Wendy's sweet chili and it was like, holy shit. This is what they needed more. Yeah, they put this on. And then Nick was like, once again, started telling the story about his father-in-law, taking the sauce. He did. But he wasn't related to food.

It wasn't related to what was happening. You guys didn't get the context. It wasn't related to what was going on. He just took it off the table. We know. No. We know the story. You thought it was after a meal.

It wasn't. It was just sitting there. It was a crowd. He's allowed to have it within context, damn it! Right, it was thievery. Yeah. Well... Oh, goodness, gracious.

That's a higher score. I gotta get my iPad. Yeah. There's a higher score than I thought it was going to get initially. Especially with Firehouse that has been kind of hit and miss with its... It's mostly miss. With it's like... This is their first hit for me.

Especially like it's limited time stuff. It just doesn't... I don't know what they're trying for, but like... I don't think they have like a lot of sandwiches there. Like I think they only have like a dozen like different kinds Is that enough for you? How many do you want? The fuck a dozen isn't enough? But to do what they have?

If I know a dozen sandwiches and someone said you only have a dozen I'd fucking sock them in the mouth. 12 that's it? Fuck you. 12 recipes for a chain this size. Some places don't have more than one cheese. Yeah and yeah no kidding. What the fuck?

But it's weird because they do the limited time stuff and the limited time things strike me as things that should just be on their menu already. Like that just, those just seem like Maybe it's just, it's not feasible when you only have one person working there. That's true. And everyone else is fighting fires, responding to traffic accidents. Well, we have a live show coming up in September at the Bell House in Brooklyn.

100% eat live on September the 3rd. You can go to bit.ly slash 100% eat live to get tickets. Still on sale. The VIPs are sold out. However, general admission is still there. You will have a seat. They said, do you want to make people stand? And we said, no, no, no.

This is a podcast, no. And they went, oh, okay. Whatever. So everyone will have a seat. I mean, if you buy a ticket, you get a seat. Yeah, we invited the mayor. So we invited the mayor. We'll see if he stops by.

You know, come to the show, see the mayor. That's not a guarantee. That's just if he stops by. You could. Yeah. You could also see, maybe come to the show, see the mayor in New York. Yeah. That's where he lives.

He lives there. You know what I mean? So does Gracie, and Gracie will be there as well. So Gracie will be at this live show. Grace could be the next mayor. That's funny. Whoa. Should she be?

I didn't say she said. I said she could. But she could be. Carol shouldn't be the manager, but she is. Bit.el-L-Sus 100% EatLive. You also go to 100%Eat. Dot store for merch, Nick, edit that. 100% eat.

dot store for merch. Now, we will also have some exclusive merch at the live show that we just got worked out and figured out very, very, very excited. So you can get that there if you come to the show. How we're going to sell it to you, we have to figure out. Yeah, I got to buy like a square thing. That's what I was like.

If Mega 64 can do it, we can do it. We'll figure something out. Gracie can run it. Can we borrow it? That wasn't the concern. If we need to borrow something for Mega 64, it's like Garrett to do it. We don't need to borrow the square. That was my first one to do is like, Sean could do it?

Hey, are you taking care of your kids still? You're free? Yeah. How's that going? Good? Fine. They've grown up yet? Yeah.

Mostly, patreon.com slash 100% eat is where you can subscribe and support us directly. You have $5. You get the ad-free version of this show. And you get Discord access where you can see a lot of freaks in one place. But a great fan art section, which I really, really like. At the $10 tier, you get the Michael Jordan podcast, which you get this week and the whole backlog. So you just get on for like a month, watch all those and be like, you know what? I do want to support.

I want to support even more. At the 100% fan tier, this is how, this is the important thing, is to give us $100. Right. And at, and at one point,

we can get a lot of people to do that. We get a lot of money. It's true. And we did. We had to like trick them. Yeah. With a contest. Yep.

But someone won. Yeah. It's true. We just want to do that every month without the contest. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You just give us money.

Same amount. Yeah. Yeah. I guess the give and take for that is that, oh, you give us $100. and then we take it and then... Right.

And then you can actually send in a shout out and we have a lot of them and Jordan's gonna read a few. I'm reading four this week. Jesus. Get a load of these ones. Okay. This one's from Cinebar.

Please wish me a belated 33rd birthday. Happy 33rd birthday. Happy birthday, Cinebar. I'm using my platform to spread... He wished you too. I'm using my platform to spread positive mix of... rib propaganda because it is my singular character bit.

Oh. Oh. The McRib is the greatest sandwich in the history of sandwiches. Oh. I do recall Cinebar on the Discord. All about it. Really, they ate so many when the McRib was back. Oh, that's scary. It got to double digits easily. Whoa. Yeah. Do we love this? Hey, and it's keep it a hobby. That's what I'm saying. Don't make it a career. Don't go pro. Don't go pro. Happy belated 33. Mm-hmm. The next one is... Hope you make it to one more. Well, it depends on many. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. Jaden Fine has a gift. Happy birthday to the love of my life. My beautiful fiancé, Haley, an amazing woman, incredible mother, and most importantly, someone who absolutely loads this podcast in everything it stands for. Oh, wonderful. Happy birthday. You're not going to hear this. You won't hear this, why would you listen to it? Or you are hearing it.

The reason you hate it's because you're forced to listen to it. You're in the living room and this is playing in the kitchen while the dishes are getting done and you're just going, shut the fuck up. Happy birthday. You hate us and we love you. We love you, Haley. My favorite flavor of shoutout is the ones,

happy birthday to this person who hates this one. They hate this show. Okay, well, this happens a lot more than I thought it would. This next one is from somebody named Spencer, not Bilk. Oh, okay, good, thank God. Smart, you do not want to be

like confused with Bilk. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not sure if it is Spencer or... It's like a... It's a trait. It's not pretending. Pretending not to be him. Okay. Spencer's really really really.

the name Spencer. I'm sorry. Spencer offers a hammering that reads, man, that Spencer Bilt guy is so fucking weird. All right, it's him. You guys should hammer him more. God damn it.

And then in parentheses, I wrote, pretty sure Spencer made a second account to sign up for the guy. Motherfucker. See, here's the thing. Thanks not Spencer, Bill Kempster, but regular Spencer,

who's Bill Kempster. Here's the thing, too. People were really, like, excited for Dirk, right? There was like people, Sorry, hang on, not Dirk. Evan, they're like, wow, it's crazy. They had nothing against him.

Dirk, now you took what they gave was $100 for. So I don't, I'm, we'll see how well it actually goes over because it went from like, I don't have 10 grand to, fuck that guy. And then on top of it, not really a fool. I have one. Courtney submitted it for him. And then I guess you'll tag along. You're twisting my arm.

I'm here too. I have one more shout out. Just so you know, they stole it from you. I have one more. One more shout out. This one is from Dirk McNeil. Okay. It says, hi, Courtney.

Oh, wow. Wonderful. That is actually smart because you just, in a little way, uncooked yourself. Yeah, uh-huh. Dirk got to talk on the show. Yep, yep. Wow.

That's smart, dude. Wow. Damn. Hope you enjoyed the firehouse. I'm really looking forward to the chick. They're here. Oh, man. So you can sign up and get your own shoutout red,

Patreon.com slash 100% eat at the 100% tier. He does that. Don't like that. Yeah, yeah. Follow at 100% eat on Twitter, Instagram and blue skies. Stay up to date on everything. Plus, you can send things to the PO box for 100% treat.

This PO box 1432, 41, Austin, Texas, 78714. P.O.V.3,4. Austin, Texas, 787.1. This is the last of the water and I'm protecting it. That's right. Go over it. Yeah. If I get over it, you can't stop it.

Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, that's the rule for some reason. Dude, you hit my hand. I don't think it would have made it. Oh, that was close. That was very close. It was close. It was small. All right. Well, thank you everyone for being here.

Not everyone. Yeah. The people off camera. Rate subscribe and tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. It's a good episode. Bye-bye. Bye. Wow, he's fucking out of here. Hey y'all.

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