100% Eat - The Day of Reckoning is Here? %% Papa Johns Cheddar Crust Pizza & Cheddar Cheesesticks

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Our Heroes head back to Papa Johns, which is not owned by Papa John, to try this Cheddar Crust pizza. Is it worth your time? Is it worth our time? Why did they make this? Which one of us is still screaming about Cici’s? You know who.Switchforks and TWO NEW SHIRTS on sale July 1 only at https://100percenteat.store Sponsored by ExpressVPN. Get an extra four months FREE at ExpressVPN.com/percent.Also sponsored by GoldBelly. Go to GOLDBELLY.com and use code PERCENT to get free shipping and 20% off your first order. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muscogee or down Toronto's bustling streets.

From now until June 30th, lease a 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Conditions apply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. Well, that is so loud. Trying to sleep. Condition supply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to volvocars.ca for full details. That is so loud. Welcome to 100% Eat Little Babies, the show where we try every fast food restaurant. Do you know if you need it? You probably do.

I'm your host Michael Jones, alongside my co-host Jordan Sweers. Jordan, how are you? I don't know if he's asleep. We're gonna lay our sleepy head down. Well it was gonna be and it was too loud. Nick woke us up. Don't wake daddy. And then and then Nick made Michael squeak and then it all fell apart.

We were gonna be nice and quiet and sleepy in this whole episode. And then he started reacting to my normal thing. Yeah. I was being so regular. Yeah Anyway Hey, we're back Where'd we go? We're here. We went away. We go away We we show up two times in a week and then we go away just just like when I see went away I'm just gonna say just that period of time where Gracie stopped working with us. Yeah, what do you think of this every couple of days?

I like it. I like the The necklace looks cool. Yeah, thanks. It's an amulet. It's a compass you look like Nathan Drake adventure. Hell yeah I'm a guy that's chasing him and gets killed I was just like you don't like Nathan Drake, but it's something adjacent to him. But if they make a new Uncharted, then Pedro Pascal's in it.

Yeah, yeah, they should make a new Uncharted. The first, the other movie was so good. We saw it in theaters and it was so good. I'm talking about a game, but yeah. Oh. Why would you want another movie? Did you see it? Yeah, it was so good.

Remember you kept yelling, whoa! Yeah, I remember, remember when we saw the guy who was the voice actor for Nathan Drake and then you So loud hey That's him That yeah, but then I also said the wrong name. Yeah No, I was on purpose. Okay It was fucking good. Well even better than yeah, I wouldn't know if no one North Yeah, right and no one North was on the screen and I think I was like that's him. That's the voice. That's Troy Baker

Pretty sure I said that I went and saw dog mother over the weekend. Oh wow they put it back in New Yorkers No, it's the same one as 1999. Okay That's a pretty good one, but but you know, it's the it's the version that wasn't on Comedy Central. Oh Yeah, a little different. Yeah Well Kevin Smith just got the rights back for that didn't he yeah There's this whole thing where like it had been buried because fucking Weinstein had it. There's a Miramax thing. Yeah, and He finally bought it back and put it back in theaters for the first time in 25 years crazy Why didn't you take us? I know I didn't realize it was in theaters for the first time in 25 years. Crazy. Why didn't you take us?

Yeah! I know. I didn't realize it was in theaters until yesterday. And yet I still haven't heard about it from you. Yeah, we could have. What are we doing now instead of watching? What are we doing last night? I don't want to take you to go see Dogbook.

Okay, well then say that. Don't say I didn't hear about it until yesterday. Oh, I didn't hear about it until yesterday. Two things can be true, and both of those things are true. No. Yeah, you just got Grendan'd. Whoa. I'm gonna kick your ass in the butt. Two things can be true and both of those things are true. No. Yeah, you just got Brendan. Whoa I'm gonna kick your ass

Once we leave work, I'm gonna kick your ass once we're off property The last thing we ever do here I'm gonna kick your ass the moment the insurance Fucking you all beat the shit out of you Oh, we can fight on the drive there. Don't open this door till we get there. Now it is like Uncharted. A fight on the moving, on the moving thing. Yeah, oh cool, and the back opens, you're hanging out. Yeah, but then the actual footage, you, you, it's like, imagined footage is that.

The actual footage is us sitting in the back of the van, when the chair is in theed to the fucking floor. Yeah, fuck, no, no! It's just Jordan. Goodbye! Holy shit, Eric going, get the fuck out the way! Ha ha ha ha! Move!

Should've just run into him, I don't know why. There you go. We ate at Eric's favorite pizza place, Papa John's. Not, can't get enough. We had cheddar crust pizza and cheese sticks, and that's it. That's a whole episode a hundred percent. Yeah pepperoni pizza Cheddar cries is the cheddar crust not enough It was like the level of like, you know when we do a stream and it's like, I'll pick up some food to eat, but that has nothing to do with the stream. That was the level of what we've eaten today.

And it was one meal. It was like an afterthought, an underthought. Yeah, I mean we finished the pizza right? There's one slice. See, it was the right amount of pizza. Not for me. Go eat the one fucking slice he's telling you where it is telling you it's the one slice yeah more for the hey I don't want

it now fuck you hey check this out I'm not gonna listen to you now what where's the monkey money where's my monkey money I thought there Jordan's eating the cheese stick you're blowing it no there's still a piece of I'm gonna up and eat that slice. What I'm gonna get I'm gonna get up and eat I'm gonna eat that fucking slice. You will not eat that slice. You're gonna eat a third slice Hell no, that would only be my second slice. I only ate one. You only ate one slice How many the fuck did you have? He wants a third. I had two. Why did you have? He's chewing very loudly into the microphone. You could have just talked with your mouth full.

We don't know. Excuse me. I ate three. Did you really? I had one. The first one I had. That's what confused me. The first one I had was so tiny. It was a tiny slice. It was also not very crusty. I was like, I didn didn't get the cheese crust

I had to go back for that my whole face there was doing the math But not wanting to say what happened is you only had one yeah, I only had one and I was like this These numbers aren't ended up here. Yeah, Jordan had a left field three slicer If you would have said one person here had three slices, I wouldn't have picked him to be the guy I would have I would somehow expect him eating four before you eating three. That would be more believable. I can't believe it.

How many slices you have? Four. We all had two, right? Jordan, I didn't have any. Yeah. You guys ate eight slices between the three of you. I went to go grab one and it was gone. So it's the cheddar crust pizza. I went to go grab one and it was gone. So it's the Cheddar Crust Pizza. It's also these cheddar cheese sticks.

I mean, keep going. Is there not one behind you? Yeah, right there. It's also these cheddar cheese sticks. And it's a cheese fest at Papa John's. Boop! Now, is that really what it is? Is it part of an actual cheese fest they're doing

or they just have these cheese products and you're trying to do a better job of selling it? Yeah. They maybe didn't call this cheese fest. That might be a term being used in this room. By you only? It's kind of coming around. It's kind of going this way. I'll be honest. I didn't see any signage. I feel like this kind of is furthering, like making sense of what I brought up earlier

about it just sort of being, this is an episode? I'm just saying. And then going, cheese fest, cheese fest. Dude, earlier, where this week we were recording two episodes this week because we're moving. Yeah. And earlier he was just like, he couldn't stop talking about how he had no idea

what we were gonna eat tomorrow. I have no idea what we're gonna eat tomorrow. What about all the things we didn't eat in the pole? Oh You want to do one of those? I mean why not compared to we're fuck There's no food. I guess this is the end I mean we made it a year or about the pole if you want or we could make up arbitrary rules and just say we can't Do the pole stuff that wasn't picked I think we I say we just go sorry guys new episode. Yeah, I think the more the more Arbitrary rules we make the better the show

And that's how cheese fest comes about. Shut up. That's one of the rules you can't break You can't start making shit up Maybe we could eat one of those for the well No, I don't want it we walked into the the papa John's and there was no and they said welcome back eric You, keep coming back Papa's in the back he's been waiting to see you yeah They, see eric in there like, please, we don't want to talk about papa john

Stop talking to us no longer associated with it's just the name his politics have nothing to do with it Hey real quick. What flavor are we sucking on today? I think me and you yeah, yeah Yeah, not the royal we literally the two of us. That was a strange move Can you even call it an accident at that point well I put my mouth on it and I inhaled and and I pretended to when don't even really have you know Here's the thing you don't, I put my mouth on it and I inhaled and I pretended to. You don't even really have to, here's the thing, you don't have to put your mouth on it, you just have to put your mouth near it and go suck in style really hard. It's like a wind instrument.

It's got mouth detecting technology. It does, and literally once he started doing that, I knew he was close enough we were going to get hit. You immediately clocked like, oh, a side sliding, because he's taking a hit. It tastes good. Also, the bit was, this is at the end of the ride along, he started coughing for no reason for like 30 seconds straight dying.

And so the joke was, oh, instead of a glass of water, I'll give you my vape. And then he yes anded and took a hit of the vape. Who amongst us has not improv'd too close to the sun? Tastes good, dude.

Then Jordan just faced the door That tastes really fucking fun it's very easy to suck down and then it lingers on your lips for a good amount of time Yeah, and guess what in Anaheim? I don't know if it's how vast in California Yeah, or if it's like counties or whatever, they don't sell these. Smart. Yep. Yeah.

Because everything I'm saying of like, oh bro, if I was a kid, I'd be hooked when I was six on this. It's a California state law. They can't sell certain ones. With flavored vapes. Yeah, nothing that- You gotta buy real like non-flavored menthol ones. Yeah, grown up tobacco flavor.

Yeah, ew, give me candy back. I got, no they don't. No they don't. I got back to Austin and I'm like, give me my candy back. I need my sweet treats. And then people are like, well you know, they can buy, you can buy like flavor ones

without nicotine. I'm like, eh, this is right here though. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it doesn't, I'm sure it doesn't do anything to me. It makes me strong He certainly doesn't get irritable if he doesn't have it. Yeah, I mean and how would you track that? But you know what I mean like well, he's never been irritable before wait a minute Famously calm cool collective Michael

Normal guy, I think if Michael were to do rage quit now, he'd be much more relaxed. Yeah. It would just be him playing the game going, yeah. I mean, that's what it is. And that's what I did for like a 20th anniversary. And I do it every episode to him. I just make him mad. I just pass it on.

He's not helping. He is helping. He's helping me. He's helping all of us. Let him help you. He's a little rage gremlin. You should watch the ride along this week because it is Michael egging him on from the front seat. It's like really a car against... I don't like it.

Really empowering. Finally, Nick has the power. From the back. Okay. Power from the back, baby. Back shot. So I'm halfway through Oathbringer. Yeah, oh! It's the best one?

Out of the five? Did you finish the fifth one? No, I'm halfway through. Okay, so you don't know. Doesn't count yet. You guys have any Cheddo opinions? Um, I'm sorry? Cheddo? Yeah, I'm halfway through. Okay, so you don't know. Doesn't count yet. Doesn't count yet. You guys have any cheddo opinions? Um, I'm sorry? Cheddo? Yeah, cheddo opinions.

Something about that combination doesn't sit well with me. Yeah, don't put cheddo. And also- Don't put cheddo? And also, you never do, you do the name of the restaurant. Yeah, yeah, but this is cheddar. Right. Yeah.

Well, he can only say poppinion so many times. Yeah. Jumpin'. I know you like him Papa John yeah, well yeah just first politics exactly yeah, oh the piece is horrible. Yeah the guy yeah, yeah Smart no business by people giving him money, so I don't want it's my don't go to Papa John's I will say as I'm sure I've said every time before we've talked about this because we just say the same shit over and over again for six years They not that they did it first, but they were the first pizza place that I knew of like that gave you the garlic I'm asking yeah

To me that was much that was a like that's a Papa John's thing and I didn't know other places sold garlic Mm-hmm, which the garlic butter. Yes, they do and they all they all but I just saw I don't and I also don't think about I don't even think the garlic butter is like amazing but it is I remember I would usually only get Papa John's like when I was traveling for some reason like ho- again I'm from Jersey so it's like I rarely got Domino's or Pizza Hut. But I would never get Papa John's. It's ever if we were at like a hotel somewhere, it's like, we'll go to Papa John's nearby, and I'd be like,

well, at least I get that garlic bar. Yeah. Yeah. The thing that we... That's how it works. That's why they do it. It's like, you see that in the pepper-chini, little banana pepper. That's true. That is just hanging out there. Pepper-chinis, I use pepper-chinis juice for my filthy, filthy, dirty martinis. Hell yeah. Good stuff.

Oh, that's good. I know how to make one now Yeah, it's a virginy olive oil and uh pickle juice in vermouth Pickle juice yeah, that's it that that is a filthy March. Yeah, that's crazy Nick started clapping like a seal Yeah, I'll make it. I'll make I'll make us all martinis. I'll try it okay Are you a gin or vodka martini vodka yeah, it's vodka Yeah, I'll make it. I'll make us all martinis. I'll try it. Okay. I love martinis. Are you gin or vodka martini?

Vodka. Yeah, it's vodka. Vodka. Do you prefer gin? With just a tiny bit of rum. I don't really have a preference. I think I would go for vodka because associate martinis with just being kind of like the clean. Yes. Vodka upsets my tummy the least.

And gin is like one step. You're like, ah! Gin's very floral and stuff. Yeah, it's that. It's the floralness where you take a drink, you're like, oh, I'm having this very clean drink, and you drink it, you go, ha! It's like eating outside. I feel like if you do a gin martini, you have to do the lemon twist.

Yeah, it's like a whole- To like counteract it. You can't do it with the olive. I'll do blue cheese olive. Yes, now we're talking. I don't like olives of any kind. Neither. I hate them.

A blue cheese olive, it's like 90% blue cheese flavor. And I'm just like, I've never eaten an olive in my life. I take a bite by accident, spit it out. I've eaten like 50 blue cheese olives. There's a restaurant. Because I'm just like, they're so good, they're so good. A restaurant downtown called Hestia. It's like, I think they got a Michelin star, but went there for

our anniversary and they have a martini like Cart that like will come up and like you just kind of custom make your own. What if you don't know what the fuck you're doing? Someone will help you The bartender comes up with the cart. You fucking idiot. Where's your pickle juice? But they have so many different types of like

options and stuff. And the olives is one of them. You can just select all the olives. Because at that point it's just free. So it was like they had the blue cheese olives, they had a grilled olive. Which was amazing. Like a lemon stuffed olive, you know?

It's like an olive garden. It's like he's getting punched over there. Hit me again! Oh lemon! Lemon! Punched, but instead of the hand going like this, it's going like this. It's bad. It's just like after every all of you listed. Yeah.

You can't even wait till the end. But anyway, really good. Back to those packed shots. Really good martinis. Different. Now I'm excited. Can we move tomorrow so I can make martinis? We were talking about moving some stuff tomorrow. Yeah, we're probably moving some stuff tomorrow.

What if I bring this shit and I make them on the Michael Jordan podcast tomorrow. Yeah, we could do that you want to do that Yeah, I just said yeah fucking yeah, that's great. I love it. Hey. Do you want to do that? Yeah, can I can I Nick can I can I make us dirty martinis? Okay, all right wow Nick said he could Nick all right. I'm not good. He messages. Why? Everyone you know is here. Because they're hearing about the martini! Oh, damn. That's actually pretty cool.

Okay. Okay. Anyway, Papa John. Okay, I've muted my phone. All right, now I'm going to check my phone. Great. Because now I'm feeling jealous that you have so many people wanting to talk. Nope, nothing.

Nope, nothing. Dang. Once he has bubble tea today with someone. That's fun. Yeah. Is it with Nick? No. Oh. Is it on the tea today with someone. That's fun. Is it with Nick?

No. Oh. Is it on the calendar? You gotta put it on the calendar. It is on the calendar. Yeah. What's the point of having a calendar? We should learn about Papa John.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We haven't been there since 2023. Wait until he reads it. Go ahead, Michael. Okay. Usually he kind of segues into that. He didn't do it at all. Been there since 2023. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, episode was May 9th, 2023, where we ate the Papa John's Doritos Cool Ranch Pappadee. Received an average rating of 28.5. Huh. Wow. Remember that?

I definitely remember that. And they folded the little pizza in half. I can't believe that's the last time we went there. Yeah. Those Pappadees are so stupid. Yeah, small pizza folded in half. And the Cool Ranch one was so disappointing. Yeah.

Just the lightest dusting of it. I was only married nine years that day that time Wait, is your anniversary on May 9th? Yes. My birthday's May 10th. It's so exciting. Yeah, I know Wow You didn't even know him then isn't that crazy? Yeah, when whenever you whenever I got married like yeah when you're doing like Achievement Hunter and no, I mean I had met you Yeah, I mean I didn't like know you, but I met, I watched that guy almost punch you in the face. Oh, that's right.

At the PAX East. At the PAX panel. I don't know if that's the first time I met you, but that's the first time I remember, I was like, this guy's awesome. I was like, this guy's awesome, because I could see you smiling. And I was like, but also it was just,

it was so comical where it wasn't like, Eric's like, I'm gonna fight this guy or I'll win, but he might get punched, but it'll still be funny. And it makes that guy even lamer. Like you're just punching a guy that's filming you because you're asking a question on a panel. And I'm going, this is awesome. That was before I was married.

So that was the same time when they showed the Bioshock thing when Rocco eating in the trash. Yeah, Lindsay was watching. Lindsay was like. Yeah, Lindsay was like. They were gonna vomit. Lindsay was like. Yeah, they were like in shock. But then it ends and then they're like. Oh, it wasn't. It's a neurodivergent reaction, right?

It wasn't like, it was just like loading, loading, loading. And it ends and they're like, oh, it's really good. Everyone was like, you look like you hated it. You're gonna throw up, you're gonna complain. And Lindsay's like, oh why, what did I look like? That's before Lindsay had medication. That's how Lindsay consumes all media. Yeah.

So they consume conversation too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was just like a shot of me, Lindsay, I think Andy was there.

Yes. Yeah, and I'm like dying laughing. Lindsay's like. It's pretty good, you should watch it. It's on YouTube, shot of me Lindsay. I think Andy was yes. Yeah, and I'm like dying laughing was he's like Pretty good you watch it. It's on YouTube. It's pretty good talking a lot about stuff from 2013 lately Yeah, cuz last last week we talked about that that old car short and yeah someone in the discord was like somebody find this short I don't believe it existed and then immediately somebody like linked it right on the I don't And then immediately somebody like linked it right something. I don't believe Made it up masters of improv they are car was it was like a Kia or something. I thought it was a Scion

You yeah, you probably right I did a lot of commercials for Scion like an ex Ex-battle like take it to a car wash right like yeah It got like dropped off like no one could actually drive it. Yeah, the Scion was such a like, hey what's up? You like the internet? You don't have any fucking money? Check out the Scion. And it's like, oh okay, everyone that I knew, they were all like broke. They were all like rebad super-oos, right? Yeah, yeah, that's all it was.

And then it's like not a thing anymore. They don't make Scion cars anymore. Yeah, cars? Oh. Yeah, I think they still make cars. I didn't disagree, I saw a few out there. Yeah. No, that's not all.

Michael was ready to tell you you were wrong. I like the finger way. And our address is... It's like talking to him. Mmm. Yeah, no, that's right. I was Michael was ready to tell you Dude he got mad at you mid-sentence there. Yeah, we were like ha ha ha and then you're like like him and they went He was watching that Bioshock short All right back to Papa John's yeah at a quarterly earnings call in May, Papa John's Chief Marketing Officer Jenna Bromberg announced that the Chacaroni Pizza is becoming a permanent menu item to quote, lure customers back. Hey, if that announcement lured you back to Papa John's, you would have gotten tricked

by a box with a mysterious piece of candy in it Then the stick gets yanked away, and your Elmer Fudd ass is trapped the monkey wouldn't even fall for the chacaroni pizza That's all folks. That's what the sauce monkey says when he kills you Yep Somebody just put the monkey mask on Porky Pig when he's fucking breaking out of that thing It puts you down I appreciate the honesty of Jenna Brombeau We gotta find a way to trick these people to come back

They're down like five percent year-on-year for like good. Yeah, and so they're like a pop of gel like we know I saw gonna blame about it this morning I'm like, you know what's gonna fucking lure you back the chacaroni pizza and he went and he just went the fuck is the Chacaroni pizza. Is it just big pepperonis big pepperonis? How come we didn't try that for the the show where we just know it's a permanent menu. I who wants that boring We want it's also a pepperoni pizza. We want we want the food. Cause now it's a permanent menu, who wants that? Boring. We want- It's also a pepperoni pizza. We want the cheddar crust. The cheddar crust is regular crust.

I had view at 303 yesterday. Oh. I don't need no chacaroni pizza. I just got me two eight squares. Yeah, but you could have- One pep, one mushroom. Why are you lured back by the chacaroni pizza? Don't lure me, bro.

What if I paint a big tunnel on the side of a mountain? Don't you want to run headfirst into it? There's pizza He's getting excited about Nick said he's eating pizza four days in a row He did true, but he did but also it was not one It was not that he said it It's that he fired it out as a fact that he's clearly like known and told himself already when no one asked

It was such a non-sector. It was just like pizza. It's like I've had pizza for days in a row. We were talking about how this isn't a lot of pizza. It wasn't like, you know what? Actually, come to think of it, I've eaten pizza. It was like, four! Four baby! Let's keep it going! Where'd you eat pizza from last four days? Uh, frozen one day. Six flat. Didn't even cook it. Just frozen. Frozen or frozen frozen?

No, just frozen. Frozen cooked. Frozen cooked. We have to say that before we even started, one day just frozen yeah frozen or frozen frozen no just frozen okay unfrozen frozen frozen we have to say the before and after right now frozen cook it was frozen to cooked yeah yeah got it six flights yes the Texas pizza and then Costco pizza two days straight Tuesday the pizza oh yeah this is the fifth day okay no I'm just making sure I thought today was the fourth day No, we all thought today was the fourth day. Even he did

Right Correct. That's when you announced when he's done kicking my ass in the parking lot That's fine because then if he runs you over and kills you there's no way to be be able to tell like the damage that I did and I'll get off scot-free. Yeah but he can't run you over because cars don't exist. No there's that one. Do we still have the scion? Someone figured it out. Someone figured out how to drive it and we had little desks.

I've had pizza five days. That's right four days in a row. What? And now five. We hadn't had it yet. Maybe I wasn't gonna eat I Gotta say Nick at this point with five days. You gotta go for a week. You have to yeah, it's your pizza pass You're almost there two more days two more days

You know I was like gosh, please such bad influences on me. You already ate it five fucking days in a row six hang on It's the only way he'll do it I mean what is that we pay for it look up right pizza again tomorrow we definitely shouldn't we'll get shackle on it um not good check we can bring him frozen frozen pizza do you want to use the air fryer or you just like a Trump cognitive test? He's just saying air fryer.

He's a frozen air fryer man. Governor jail. Frodo. Who is he? Who is that? Oh my god. This episode of 100% Eat is brought to you by the loyal Bugs and Grackles who support us on Patreon. Become a member and support us directly

by going to patreon.com slash 100% eat and get exclusive content just for you. Thank you. This week 100% eat is also brought to you by ExpressVPN. We are in the midst of moving and one of the things we needed to do when we're setting up our new office space is pick an ISP. But we found out, and this is the case for most people in places,

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You may have heard Eric ordered for us a deep dish pizza from Lumau Notties in Chicago, which has a lot of cherished memories for us in our Chicago trip there where we had Lou's for our live show that we did out there years ago. But I haven't had it since. And I still haven't had it because Eric's still holding onto it and we better be eating it soon. Because I was just on their website and I'm looking around and they have a pizza subscription where you can sample

the entire country's wide variety of regional pizza styles all without leaving your house. So all that is to say I'm now craving pizza, but that's a good problem to have because there's Goldbelly and you can go to goldbelly.com and use code percent for free shipping and 20% off your first order. There are so many iconic restaurants around the USA that we haven't been able to try, but with Goldbelly, it's like they're right down the street. Goldbelly will ship iconic Chicago deep dish pizza from Luminal Notties. Or if you're outside

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That's goldbelly.com code PERCENT for free shipping and 20% off your first order. Thank you, Gold Belly. Jesus Christ. That was only two? Yeah. The first one wasn't even real. All right. In April of this year, Papa John's announced that it's teaming with Google Cloud to give customers AI powered pizza experiences. I can't wait to hear this.

Without being told what it is, how the fuck would anyone begin to reason out what that means? Well, here it is. Using Google Big Query, Vertex AI, and Gemini, Papa John's will proactively suggest orders through push notifications or email. Revolutionary. Pack it in, Domino's. You're fired, the president. The president is a guy who is probably friends with the original Papa John still, right? Has to be. You would think he probably is, right? Yeah.

I think it's a pretty one-way street Yeah, like yeah, he's giving Donald Trump all his money, and yeah ignoring him right so he's friends I don't know about that though, and it just takes one good thing, and he's like he's great mm-hmm this guy I love him. I love him. Yeah, that's all he has to say yeah That's it, and then he drops the n-word and then which one You gotta be yeah He gotta be more specific in a situation He drops the n-word and then which one? I was gonna say Gavin Newsom can say it too. I bet he would. I bet he would. I think you could make a list of most people in Congress and I think they would say it. I feel like a guy with that haircut.

Yeah. Yeah. Everything about him. Yeah. He'd say it. No. Wearing a hat. Two weeks ago, I'm wearing a hat.

You know I don't have a haircut under this. Two weeks ago, remember when I didn't have a haircut under my hat for the road trip? Yeah. Uh-huh. I love that. I love seeing that. What an ugly human being.

Insane looking. It's crazy. You look like a kid who only gets around on a dirt bike. Like, you look disgusting. It looks even worse again, cause my hair is so foofy. Yes, yeah. Like dirt bike kids, they have straight hair.

And it's just like, I got the mullet going. Oh, you look like a 90s dirt bike kid. You look like a dirty. You look like a kid that wants to be a king of the hill. Well, it's like, it's a, but also it's like a, a dirt bag, dirty kid with a bad mullet. Yes. Trying to fit in with the kids that are dirt bags

with mullets and he's not cool enough. Yeah. You're not, you're not dirtbagging Exactly he's dead whoever I love it disgusting and he's scummy, but it's the wrong kind of dirty Whoever you hired to play the role of Michael for the road trip did a really good great job I don't know who that guy was you're pretty good. Hope we never see him again. I do I miss him Sometimes he can come back. Yeah, maybe just for a little bit They're pretty good. Hope we never see him again. I do, I miss him sometimes. He could make a comeback. Maybe just for a little bit. It's never too late to stop working out

and just let yourself go. Especially your hair. Mullet style. Two weeks ago, a man robbed a Houston Papa John's then fled the scene to the motel across the street. During their investigation, police heard two gunshots leading them to the suspect who shot himself twice in the torso. The man was taken to the hospital and he lived. What was the point of all this?

Maybe he was going Joker mode and wanted to watch the world burn. Or maybe he wanted to go Jared Leto Joker mode and be twisted. You guys hear about all that Jared Leto stuff? Who could have seen that coming? Oh, everyone? Okay then. Man, he really made something up and then it became half the fact. Did we start at the Papa John's? Because Eric wanted to get there.

It's about Papa John's! And then Jared went. It's about Papa John's! Because he just wanted to say Joker mode and then he could turn the next four sentences into, well now that you brought up Joker. Yeah, now that we're all talking about the Joker. Did somebody in here say Joker mode? I heard it, I think over here.

Well, let me take this opportunity to talk about Jared Leto. Yeah, if you would have went Crow mode, I would have been more okay. Oh, Crow mode would be so cool. Make another Crow. Alright, last factoid. One more! We don't want to talk about Jared Leto anymore? I'm sure he'll come up later. What the fuck on May 18th 2010 a software developer paid for two Papa John's pizzas

10,000 Bitcoin those pizzas today would be worth 1.1 billion Bitcoin is awesome because it's a trick being played on you, but so is real money But who's the more foolish the fool or the fool who follows is that the monkey actually told me to write that down Then he put on matrix sunglasses and flew away like neo. I don't think he knows that's a quote from Star Wars ignorance is bliss There's so many things, so many, I'm trying to find like, what's another thing you can squeeze in there? What are you talking about? What? He put on the sunglasses and then he went into the sky and he flew away. And you say with great power means great responsibility. Who's Frodo?

Papa John's. Yeah, we learned a lot about Papa John's. 1.1 billion dollars for two pizzas? That's crazy. Yeah, that's pretty wild. That story and then the thing, it was like a Starcraft tournament from like 2009 where it was like the first prize was 500

dollars, second prize was 100, third prize was 50, and then fourth and fifth were like 25 bitcoins Are you serious? Wow, so he would have done better. Oh my god finish fifth the starcraft I'm coming fifth in a starcraft tournament. No, you can't do that I can yeah, no, you can you play zerg and you rush them? Yeah, but go ahead But then cheer you on but then you lose to the top four people Mm-hmm, okay, people Right that's the tray I feel like that would be

No, I'll just hire some Starcraft players to do it Yeah, they're gonna fuck this guy with a bunch of They're gonna be gathered around you with keyboards and mice, but they're gonna highlight you Gathered around you with keyboards They're gonna highlight you You construct additional pile on Please what is it now you must construct additional pile? Can we make him a little zergling room in the house a zergling room? Yeah, we'll get a bunch of like pus shit on the floor

Come out of there Yeah, gotta seal him in right also. it's not your room. It's just a nook. Yeah, it's your nook. My room! We gotta get like a sliding door on it or something. Like, it's just one encased in. I was telling people about that last weekend. The hat? No, about the house.

And that there's a knick-knock and I want to seal him in. I told several people that. That's where the internet is. You put it in the knick-knack. We couldn't put it in a different spot Oh, so there's there's no knick-knock then no no that I mean it's just gonna be sitting next to him That's good with this little hat. Oh, yeah, dude That's it. So that's where the internet is cross me But the way that the house is why it's crazy the way the house is wired is Right next to where the internet's installed now,

there are three ports that connect to other ports throughout the house. One is just on the other side of the same room. One is in downstairs in like the kitchen where we have like a Wi-Fi extender. The third one we cannot find. Me and the AT&T guy were going like maybe it's this thing and taking like the cover off Of like you look in the closet where that panel is looked everywhere. It was fucking crazy So we can run internet pretty easy To like these different spots to like hardwire in I see but there's one that's missing

Mysteriously just by like a couple of hundred foot. That's all we need to do Somewhere A couple of hundred foot. That's all we need to do Wall somewhere, you know dang little wall. I'll put a new one in and then that'd be a video. Yeah Like I forgot No, there's no electricity in that cat is annoying as fuck you need like a micro tool Yeah, like the wires because they're like microscopically small Yeah, it's like a little like it's almost like a stamp. It's like Well, I like crimp it our internet our internet is fast. Yeah, that's bad is yeah, somehow It's faster than the internet. We have here. Yeah, it's fast is that

I'll be honest. I don't give a shit about it's like $60 more for a business. It's so expensive in this tiny office Yeah, it's so expensive. It's bullshit. I already we already called it canceled it here. Yeah, it's like It's on the last loading. Yeah. Yeah, you don't need to do anything, but boy they were like do you do you want to keep spectrum? Yeah, no Do you have spectrum at home? You want to have it at home? No, I'm good We can make it at your Eric made up some good lies to tell them. Oh, yeah, like get them to I'm dying I'm like, oh our CPA said we have to have a clean break. Yeah

Sorry, they're like they're like, oh are you still doing your business and we're like, yeah Yeah, they're like is your business shutting down? Yeah, we're like, oh no, we're't stay friends. They're like, oh, are you still doing your business? And we're like, yeah. And they're like, is your business shutting down? We're like, oh no, we're doing it from home. We can't have a physical address anymore. What? Yeah, the CPA said we have to have a clean break. Yeah, we're being- We can't have anything.

We're being indicted. What did you just say? What did you just say? No. It seemed like that wasn't gonna get me there as fast as making up a lie. What if you said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't know exactly what Yvette in North Carolina's office looked like. Yeah, or cubicle, but I'm pretty sure she had a sticky note that says, don't take no for an answer. Yeah, here's like a list of stuff. If they say no, say this. I had a guy come to my house,

like door-to-door salesman guy or whatever, and he's like, hey, do you want me to paint your house? And I just went, no. He's like, well, it looks like it needs painting. And I went, no. And he went, well, I mean, hard bargain, how dark it is. And I just went, let me just good luck to you, but let me just, there's nothing you're going to say that's going to make me paint my house.

So I'm going to go back inside. And he went, a back flip. And he said, how about now? I might've had him do a corner. Yeah. Just one more. First trouble. Yeah. But do wall. Just for his trouble. Yeah, but do it like a crazy color just to see what it is.

I just wanna see something. Do pearlescent like it's a crazy car. Then you drive by it and you go, colors that house. What the fuck? And then you crash. Yeah, because you're looking at it. Oh, I watched Den of Thieves 2. I didn't play Den of Thieves 1.

I guess it's a movie. It is, and it's very bad, but there's a part where they wrap a car and then they do a getaway and then they pull into a parking structure and then they pull the wrap off and I'm like, that's such a cool idea. Just like an ambulance.

Yeah. They paint their car for no reason. This'll blend in? Yeah. They literally, they're gonna do all the- I got a great idea. Well, they know. Okay, let's get back in.

All the news helicopters use chroma key all the time and so it makes them invisible. Anyway, let's get back in. All the news helicopters use chroma key all the time, and so it makes them invisible. Anyway, let's listen to Sailing. As I... Ambulance better than Den of Thieves 2. Not better than Den of Thieves 1. Thank you for the rankings. Where does the crow and beekeeper rank on this?

The second one, right? Yeah. And they become the robbers? It's well, It's it's only Gerard Butler he's he's like I'm sick of being an LA County sheriff So he goes to France and helps fucking ice cubes boring son steel diamonds Okay, don't talk about a crushed ice like that. Yeah, that's cool bullet ice Good one, too. I couldn't remember what he's got pull it ice Like a way cooler

My dad ice cube I am bullet ice Nugget ice it do you think oh when I open the freezer at the new house by the way water went everywhere And then I went I'll just get a paper towel that mmm. I'll get some toilet paper done Oh that usually means that it's not cooling so the ice is melting well It wasn't it wasn't cooling you know because the house is so fucking hot, but it's a freezer that shouldn't matter Mm-hmm the house is so fucking hot that it was hot outside. Yep Uh-huh rage that was making it hot inside, too Yeah, that's not supposed to happen. No, this is normal. It's not normal. Well, I'll go that's why that's sealed. It's a sealed freezer

All the ice water in these guys are crazy The pizza is making me so goddamn itchy. It's pissing me off. The pizza is making you? It's got a spice, dude. It always happens with pizza places. That's the garlic, the spicy garlic. It's something.

Oh, we did get the spicy garlic. Ah! It's like an allergy that I've never had diagnosed. It's like oregano or some stupid shit. It's a pizza thing. I know it is. It's not salt. It's not salt, it's salt pepper, but it's something

I'd get it like sandwich. You can go to But I don't want to go to the dermatologist and have them rub pizza. I'm actually going today. Are you really yeah? Yeah, can I get the pizza test that's where you feed me pizza, and then I'll see you rub pizza on me Which what what will you do which one did I pass I failed and after we take me back to you now the pizza test is they put Pete three slices of pizza in front you eat each one you say which one's your favorite and then they tell you which political party you are I'm sorry sorry here all the podcasts

Actually the smartest When you think about it three sides Then we gotta do three sides We gotta look at it from the liver if you ever just need to like both sides it with a libertarian just go yeah Texas, whatever yeah, yeah, you got it. Yeah, you're real sovereign citizen buddy. Yeah, just look at New Hampshire Yeah, hey go back to your forum. You're fine You used to be a neighborhood weirdo and now you're an online weirdo with all the other neighborhood weirdos. Yes suck Jesus Christ Weirdo and now you're an online weirdo with all the other neighborhood weirdos. Yes suck Jesus Christ Exhausting all the weirdest people from your neighborhood are

Parked across the street looking into our windows with binoculars well, and he's saying they're the weird people they are I'm not online talking about it People who are doing it that would be crazy. I try to make sunglasses out of twigs And even and even was that the one you just put out the Michael Jordan podcast yeah, I want to watch We're so good at them. We are really good at them. They're very good ads. Those are good ads Not so good talking about Papa John's, but well yeah, but you know and you didn't do a very good ads. Those are good ads. Not so good talking about Papa John's, but well, yeah, but you know And you didn't do a very good job. Oh, we talked about this guy. We got peachy cheddar cheese episode Joker Joker Joker Joker Joker Bitcoin Joe's yeah, I knew we'd bring it back to letto, baby No one said letto you brought it back. Yeah Starting over here and I say Joker I'm talking about Mark Hamill

The real one okay, we only stand mark and Kevin in this house I watched a clip where Batman had to sing a song and it was no, but I think it was just no He got to sing a song. Okay, and then it was I think it was just an excuse for that guy to sing a song Yeah, do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, dumbass. He just saw like a TikTok clip of it. Then Lindsay met Kevin Conroy at a convention a bunch of times, and they went up to him and they said,

I love how you sing. He was like, dude, dude, dude, I got it. Yeah, you really could see it moving up to his brain One to jump to what the fuck are you saying he's going I'm probably in there somewhere Yeah, he's like I don't understand what you're saying pretty good, but let me search my files Jordan do you want to learn about the food? Cheddar crust pizza yeah seasoned cheddar cheese melted on top of our large fresh never frozen original crust Served with our special garlic sauce and a pepperoncini Yeah, yeah, really just described every pizza, but they did one thing different.

This is seasoned cheddar cheese melted on top. So remember, it felt like it was fried into it, not really melted on top of it. Like the whole crust seemed to be constructed of the cheese. So I think they're lying. Cheese sticks, one word, the S is capital capitalized that is what it is our fresh never frozen original dough covered with garlic sauce topped with seasoned cheddar cheese and baked to a crispy golden brown only available in 10 inch size served with original pizza dipping sauce so is that new too? Yeah, what's new about their cheddar? Oh?

Barely tell it was yeah, it's just a cheese stick season so they have cheese stick Yeah, but this is cheddar whoa Papa John's finally got a cheddar Guys, they're luring. It's no wonder they're number three. They're luring customers back in with everything you could ever want they really Yeah You're back They're luring customers back in with everything you could ever want. They really are. Yeah. You're back. They discovered cheddar cheese. Cheddar cheese is also not good on pizza. No, no, it doesn't really belong. No, it just doesn't do anything.

It adds nothing. Parmesan makes sense. Sometimes a little asiago. Mozzarella. I'll almost always just do extra mozzarella It's the perfect cheese for pizza. Yeah, putting other cheese on there. Yeah cheddar is nothing to Cheddar. Yeah. Okay. I want sandwich buddy. This would be more exciting with more cheese instead of just the cheddar Yeah, yeah, and then maybe it wouldn't fuck with his nose. No, it would

Well, we don't know if it's the cheese.. No, it's definitely not the cheese. Trust me. It might be cheddar. That makes something else. Doug, I got a cheddar affliction. Help me. We won't know until he gets the pizza rubbed on him by Nick. I'll ask. I'll do it.

I'll fucking do it. The house is like almost four times the size of this place. It's so big. We have so much room. I'm excited. I don't know what we're going to do in it. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza.

I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. I'm excited to have different sets of pizza. The house is like almost four times the size of this place. It's so big. We have so much room. I'm excited. I don't know what we're going to do with it.

I'm excited to have different sets for different shows. That is the big thing. Just because it's like, wow, it's a different show. It looks different. That's cool. Yeah. I think it would be fun to have like a cool flex, like stream space or something. Yeah. We got options. We're just hanging out, wanting to do something. And then who knows, maybe puzzles and pluffles

can be something that we do, because we have already fucking a pluffle. We already stole her pluffle, yeah. Well, she didn't want it anymore or something, I don't remember. I know. She kept saying, it's dead to me. She's gonna be, if she watched the show, she would be so mad.

Yeah. She would listen to this and go, what are they talking about? That's not at all what happened. She doesn't watch the show, but we text her all the time. There was a good moment. You put in the slack, right? Obviously she dropped her pluffle off.

And you put in the slack that she was dropping it off. And we had very clear that she's not saying goodbye. Yes. She just doesn't have space for it right now. We're holding it on to it for her. And then in that, I responded like, oh, I heard Gracie got rid of her pluffle. Oh, what a coincidence, because I just got one.

And she's like, wait, you did? Yep. I was like, God damn it. OK, so Michael, was that a convention? We both have one? That's going to get incredible. On Friday, this text thing was going off on Friday. Yeah, yes But America's faith family of five

Yeah What do people think somebody that'd be another good name for? Somebody brought Michael laser team to disc Yeah, and so he set a picture of it laser team to disc yeah and so he said a picture of it one of the movies I am in or something yeah one of my two movies the Gracie said unfortunately I don't have a blu-ray player like as if Gracie thought this is my movie yeah yeah exactly sorry I can't watch it yeah I also signed my own blu-ray with my own name and then I'm gonna bring it to Gracie's

Like even if even if we're all gonna sit down and watch it like it's dependent on her Owning anything. Yeah, and not just coming here. So she said unfortunately, I don't have a blu-ray player Michael responded Fortunately, you don't have a blue But then we were talking about something else and we got like way deep into like this other discussion about skippity toilet And we were putting his stickers put a crazy Bratz thing. Yeah. Yeah, and I said is this skippity toilet? You know what and then we went on talking about something else and then Gracie says guys, I'm not sure I know what's going on Yeah, and you were like, it's okay. Just know it's funny And then she sent the most disturbing oh, yeah, I was like an emoji with teeth

Yeah, but it's like when you look inside the mask, yeah You said all right, that's enough You can stop vile vile and then and then you showed off your little boo boo yeah yeah i started buying little boo boo's and gracy and i were both anti-little boo boo which only fueled you yeah i put that's fine you can do whatever you want normally i'd put that in like the non-gracy channel but i'm like gracy probably knows what a little boo boo is yeah and so i put it in and she had a stance. She did.

I came out swinging and was like, I don't like these things. And Gracie was like low key me too. And I was like Gracie and Jordan unite. Yeah. And I was like, that's fine. You're great episodes of puzzles and pluff. Your hate fuels me. You said your hate fuels me.

And Gracie's like, I totally get it. If people hated mini brands, I'd fucking love them even more. That's her North star. Yeah. And then someone's like excuse me Michael. Can you sign this? I was like shut the fuck up I'm telling her about my little boo boo. Oh, which one to do. Yeah Only had one person asked me to curse him off really yeah, you know that's I literally He's I was like Yeah, I can do it, but I'm gonna do it like low-key. Yeah, so you know I can't be And he's like yeah, that's fine. I was like what are we talking here now?

Like honey, what do you and it's like just like you know lay into me? I'm like alright, and we start recording I'm like hey. Hey, we're here with whatever the person's name was when it's great to meet you you piece of shit Burning hell like I gotta thank you. Thank you for the support. Go fuck yourself Don't know how dare you speak to me. Don't look at me. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Fuck off Was that okay? He's like, I loved it. Okay That's what our cameo can be like, yeah, I just remember RTX. Yeah. Yeah another one three hours I'm talking to people every single person's like, can you scream at me? But that's why the when we would do signings together. They were like a lot of fun because it wasn't just

Hey, you do this. It was just it was us entertaining ourselves Yeah, with a group of people kind of just put on a show in front of everyone. Yeah, they're like whoa cool I get to see this part, but it's also because it's a never-ending line Yes, and no one and like you see 1% of the people there are we less These conventions are nice because people can just come up and talk to you. Yeah And every time they're like I was I wanted to get to to RTX and then make it or like it just cost so much or whatever And I'm like that's cool. It's a great show. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a good place to meet the cast I was gonna say like you're you're ever have that expectation your interaction right now is

Probably more. Oh, yeah more than you would've got it. Oh, hey, nice to meet you. Yeah. Bye picture. Bye. Yep Fuck off. Yeah, fuck off, and he's like oh, I didn't ask you to say that. Okay, bye. Picture, bye. Yep. Hey, fuck off. Absolutely. Yeah, fuck off. And he's like, oh, I didn't ask you to say that to me. And I went, I know. Yeah, I know what I said. I know what the fuck I said. Just saying what I'm thinking. There's press material.

Yeah! For this? Yep. And then we can go back to talk about whatever happened after that. Hey guys, we made a fucking pizza. Check it out! Cheddar season! Listen, cheddar is a classic for a reason.

Mm-hmm. It's creamy, melty, and packed with flavor, says Mark Gabrovich, vice president of culinary innovation at Papa John's. Why did they spell it the British way? I don't know, have a look. Keep looking. We took that familiar fave-orite and baked it right onto the crust with our custom garlic seasoning. It's a welcome addition that makes every bite even better. Keep going. The Cheddar crust pizza will be available across Canada starting June 2nd for $17.99. I assume Canadian dollars. Each order comes with Papa John's iconic special garlic sauce and a pepperoncini. We know guys. Fans can choose their favorite topping to complete this cheesy

one topping experience. Eric, we don't live in Canada. How did we get this pizza? That's what I'm saying is that I think this is a so everything about the release of this is a lot of press releases or different websites going in a very low key launch for Papa John's after announcing the chacaroni is here to stay here's this cheddar pizza the Canadians are the only one speaking up and everything about is like Canadian arm of Papa John's going hey we love this pizza and it's like I did they just get cheddar like as a country I think they may have oh and so this is a new this is a big cheese explosion for them something

something to do with tariffs yeah probably they have them they used it they make it own hours and then prime minister yeah maybe he's a big cheddar head yeah it's like maybe big cheese maybe he's got a lot of cheddo pinions yeah oh think about it thinking I'm done Well Opinions about the cheddar pizza and Papa John's but we need to hear from you in a second we call you review Hey Gracie you Beautiful just like Kevin Conrad Okay, we got three Jenny see okay the person who answered the phone was very rude and

The person who answered the phone was very rude and very ugly Sometimes you can just tell I Don't understand that is your job to do if you don't like it if you don't like then quit I have no other choice but to order from Papa John's but y'all should really have better customer service and fewer ugly people answering the phone. I'm sorry that's your job. I have no choice but to order from Papa John's every. I wake up and they put a gun to my head There's only the illusion of free will All paths lead to Papa John's all paths lead to you for some reason calling them to order

I have to call these very rude very ugly people They answered the phone, and I just knew immediately. He's like whoa. No, this is an ugly person Fuck you like shit you sound ugly You sound ugly To me so I tell them they look Jenny what would you like to order send me a picture? Yeah? Just any picture where you look like yeah, I gotta know who I'm talking to first. I gotta know what I'm talking to.

All of them. All of these fucking ugly people are so goddamn rude to me. It's also matter of fact, spelled correctly and punctuated. The person who answered the phone was very rude and very ugly. Why do they have no other choice but to order from Papa John I do have questions about that I have no only holy shit from everywhere else because I called them ugly Fucking incredible all right go for my Kathleen L. Oh, this is a classic fucking incredible all right go for my Kathleen L. Oh this is a classic wish I could rate this place zero star take a shot oh my god

horrible customer service and a bunch of hoes why they call them hoes they're terrible I'll tell you what they do. They're terrible and do not answer the phone or anything. I will never be ordering from Papa John's ever again. Absolutely terrible customer service. Waited over an hour to just see if my pizza was being made over their pizza tracker. And when I called to check on my pizza, no one answered. I called five times. No answer

This place is terrible of the garlic sauce, but I hate the workers They were learned by the garlic sauce it worked on them these hoes make such good garlic sauce, but fuck them goddamn These are all again when we do this I tried I try to do it about the actual restaurant. We're getting the food from and that's what this is so there's ugly Oh, there's always one person Also who's a like order on no one's answering and if they do they're ugly who's calling? Why call?

Why call it's nothing but a hose. They're not answering the phone bunch of uglies Another I'll go What the garlic sauce zero stars this one's from Anna a okay, I can only assume it stands for Anna as well I decided the other night to get a late-night bite while I was studying I parked behind Papa John's Went to monkey nest to get a coffee then went back to buy a pizza Instead of trying to sell me a pizza the employee told me my car was just owed I The employee told me my car was just towed. I asked why as I came in the shop to purchase a pizza and instead of selling me a pizza, the employee told me I wasn't going to get out of it by buying something though.

That was my full intention. Why I came to this pizza shop as it was right next to a coffee shop point of the story. This shop is obviously not making money from pizzas rather than towing cars. At least that's what employees are being told to do. Good news is Brooklyn pie was just around the corner and it was still open. Bad news is my intention of saving time and money cost me more time and money. Um, what I got to sit on that one. They're making money on toes. The little grackles got to go to the top of my brain and do the one on mine. You know how much money they're making per car towed?

Kickbacks! They're getting kickbacks! I went in to get coffee. I parked in a spot that wasn't for the coffee shop. It was for the pizza place. The parking situation there is strange. There's like three spots for the Papa John's up front. It is right next to the coffee shop monkey nest. Yeah. But I guess there's more in the back.

I- I never seen it. No. Uh. So they parked- Just park at monkey nest if that's where you're going in first! That's it. That's all this is. Yeah, I parked in a Papa Johns spot which is hard to come by.

You'll be at Papa Johns less time. Yeah. Well, my intention was to go there eventually. They don't know what the fuck you're doing Yeah, but she's gonna use this as evidence I wrote I wrote about it in the public forum of yelp listen listen and this place is nothing but a hose who ate No, dance in the food ugly hose. I was waiting for your car. I was waiting for it to go Obviously, they're not trying to sell me pizza. They're trying to sell me took my car.

I was fully expecting her to write. Instead of trying to sell me pizza, the employee was the ugliest piece of shit I ever saw. They smelled like shit too. These hoes don't park in a spot for the other thing. It's not complicated. I'm sure it was clearly labeled as well. And then also they don't seem too concerned about-

Heather Onnen used to be studying her reading. Instead of instead of trying to sell me a pizza, the employee told me my car was just- And also just the phrasing in there is no one tries to sell you a pizza. Right. So ma'am, ma'am. Welcome in, welcome in, excuse me, excuse me. When I go to McDonald's they don't try to sell me hamburgers. Right. They're not like, I'll paint your house and also right it also okay. I'm selling you a bag

I walked out of the coffee shop. There was a strange man standing in front of my car I thought for sure he was gonna sell me a pizza in his coat What the fuck he opened his coat no pizza to be found also how long when you're in that coffee shop, right? Also, how long when you're in that coffee shop, right? Well, how big is it? You can't turn around and look see like that's crazy tow trucks is loud. Yeah, it takes a while It's not like yeah, yeah, you know what I mean? Why didn't you try to sell me feel like I feel like if you were in the coffee shop long enough wall-parked in the in the clearly like labeled Domino's spot for your car to get towed and you didn't notice, they had a pretty good indicator of,

you just took our spot when you know where the fuck you are. Exactly. You know what I mean? That can't have been that fast. Nope. Crazy. I just went into Monkey Nest for a quick cup of coffee, took a nap in the bathroom, woke up, came out,

my car was gone. No one was trying to sell me pizza not even once. I kept saying pizza man, I only parked there two nights ago I was gonna get the pizzas. I swears. Oh my god. Well, those are your reviews But we have our own reviews of the Papa John's Cheese crust cheddar cheese sticks Guys, what do you think Jordan not a whole lot going on here? Nothing going on I mean, it's a bad episode bad choice by the producer Guys, what'd you think? Jordan? Not a whole lot going on here. Nothing going on. What do you mean? Cheddar Cheese Crust.

Bad pizza, bad episode, bad choice by the producer. Whoever they are. It's Papa John's pizza, which nothing is different about it. So it's not great. I'm trying to think where even Papa John's would rank. Is it worse than Pizza Hut? Hard to say. I don't know.

I think they're both pretty close. But I think it's just a safe bet to hate Papa John's war. Yeah, but I also definitely hate Pizza Hut. Yeah, so do I. So do I, but Pizza Hut doesn't have a lightning rod of a human to hate. It's true. It's just Pizza Hut.

It's true. Papa John's got Da Papa and the Day of Reckoning and such. I don't know how you put a man screaming about the Day of Re reckoning over Pizza Hut. Still waiting on it. You know, like that's why I again I'm with you. They're both bad. Yeah.

Although Pizza Hut has better breadsticks. But the crust at the end of this is it's pretty good actually. It's definitely cheesy. I like the texture of it. It's not on the inside. It's not a stuffed crust. I like the texture of it. It's got a little bit of that seasoning which I thought was nice. But it's not enough to be like, whoa, go get this pizza from Papa John's.

Yeah. Put more money in his pocket. So I'm gonna just go 42%. Okay, 42%. Michael? I mean, it wasn't very good. It was just pizza The cheddar really did nothing for it. Maybe on the crust not on the pizza I would at all rather just cut the crust off all these pieces a Ring of crust that's why I went back for a third slice. I gotta get back to that crust the spicy

Garlic was pretty good. Yeah, actually I'll say actually spicy Yeah, I couldn't keep that actually was probably the best part of this Yeah, and I got I got that cuz I knew Nick would really like it All right fuck me First of all try it again Try it again tough guy Second of all let's reenact this you what'd you say? Ah, you got it, because I thought Nick would like it. Huh.

Later. Why? I was like, thank you. How the fuck is that thank you? Oh, no, no, I'm saying thank you now. I was letting you- What was the huh for? I think he was like- No, it was not the huh.

He was like looking down at Eric. Because you scrambled the respond and then just went, I don't know. He was sitting atop his ivory tower looking down at Eric. Because you scrambled to respond and then just went, I don't know. He was sitting atop his ivory tower looking down at Eric trying to grovel. How dare you even attempt to grovel to me? I was, look at the peon trying. I was looking up screaming, I did this for you and he was looking down and whispered, huh, huh, huh. That's how it should be. Is that the best you got?

And then, dude, I just don't. Burn his village. I just don't ever want this kind of cheesy bread from pizza places. It's just the fucking pizza. It is just the pizza with the cheese. Without sauce and cheese. But then you have to dip it in the sauce.

Yes, you're just making it an inferior pizza. I don't get it. Cheesy bread, that's like, I feel like, again, that was the thing introduced with Domino's at least That's the first one I remember where it's like the loaf kind of deal and like I get that for a kid or a side For someone who's not eating the pizza right? Yeah, it's just the shittier pizza And so this guy got us a little crap shit fucking Pepperoni Papa John made him that's what we're eating for the other John whispered in his ear made him that here's a smaller worse pizza

That's what we ate today now. That's a huh. Yeah, that's definitely a huh yeah That was our reaction in the right along yeah, he opened it up, and we all went yeah, it was right He's crazy. So it wasn't like good bad whatever. It's fucking Papa John's pizza fucking nuts that he did that I give it a Fucking 36 yeah, dude. Hell. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you 39. Yeah, we're we all agree Yeah, we're all against this guy. Yeah, that last slice 39. I'll save it for tomorrow No, you won't why would you want to say cuz the single slice of Papa John's pizza? So we can get his streak? Yes streak keep my streaks going. I don't think that really counts. I agree. He's got to get his pizza

I don't think I think one left over one It's been five days. He's already Okay, I don't think one leftover slice of pizza counts as six days in a row when you've had five different pizzas It's got to be different. It's got to be different. I Mean it could be like any it can be leftovers. I guess is what I'm saying But the one was leftovers on Monday. Okay. Well you didn't tell us that He did say he got in my mind. It was perfectly plausible to me that he went back to cost Yeah, but I but I but I also I think from now you can't all right fine fine

But I'm not happy about it arbitrary rules. Yep. Let's make fucking rude ugly ho If cars existed Well, hey join us in Austin Well, hey, join us in Austin on June 29th, Sunday. What the fuck were you thinking? I feel like this is like a Let's Play where we just found out that someone's recording didn't work. Yeah. And it's like, well, that was a waste of time. Great. Can we save it? No.

They actually had the only footage we needed. Oh shit, actually, no, it's good. We recovered it really yeah Oh, but someone didn't need to record on the audio What if we edit a 40 minute video and then you do commentary over it probably not yeah probably If we put 47 hours of work into this we can save that one hour video or we can just redo it. I guess Kill me. That's what this feels like. What do you mean? Don't be surprised if this one goes missing. If you want to see this, if you want to see this shit live and in person, you can.

Homebrew Austin is coming to the parish Sunday, the 29th at 3 p.m. We'll be live. Tickets are free. You go homebrewaustin.com. You can also go to patreon.com slash 100 eat subscribe now you listen to the Michael Jordan podcast please if you like what you saw then you can check out the Michael Jordan podcast on Fridays you subscribe go back and listen to every other episode it's been great there's so much stuff on that patreon we just had our big anniversary and put so much stuff up so go check it out there And if you become a 100% fan you get a shout out like this. Oh

I thought he had it right dude. I did and like I like I slacked it to myself because the cells are really hard to Read in Google. Yeah, I hit the top of my phone and Scrolled up to messages from months ago I hit the top of my phone and scrolled up to messages from months ago Oh shit This is from Joseph V. Okay. He has a message for Brandon. Hey Brandon, you're probably at work So I'll make it short. Do you want to be my best man at my wedding later this year? The drinks will be free and you won't have to give a speech. Oh, that's pretty cool Deal here you're gonna better deal than we do and you won't have to give a speech. Oh, that's pretty cool. That's not bad. That's a deal. You're getting a good deal here.

You're getting a better deal than we do. Also, Brandon does not watch this show. You could always say- I won't, Brandon never answered me. You could always say no, but that would be some bald-headed behavior. That would be true. It's true, you ugly-ass hoe.

You can't say no. He paid $100 to ask you to be his best man, and you don't have to do shit. Yep. Let us know, Brandon. You subscribe for $100, and you to be his best man, and you don't have to do shit. Let us know, Brandon. You subscribe for $100, and you can say yes or no. Joseph actually did. You have to respond.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you have to. How else do we know? And then Joseph, you gotta respond back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys both have to go back and forth. And then that's how we're making carto money. Yep. Yep.

Ooh. A bunch of hoes in this room. Joseph did something smart. He upgraded from his other membership, so that for the month he only had to pay like the difference. Oh that's really smart. And then he went back down after he got his message. And he got a message. That's smart. That's what you get if you go up for a month it goes in the queue. I'm just saying maybe someone else should think about doing that.

Yeah, Brandon specifically. Yep. So that's a patreon.com slash 100% eat or patreon.com slash 100% eat slash gift. If you want to gift a sub to someone, you can also get some merch at 100% eat store. And guess what? We locked it in. Announce it. It's happening. Switch. You can't run on sale. July 1st. It's a Tuesday. July 1st. What time Jordan? I have no idea. Yeah, me neither. So July 1st. It's a Tuesday. July 1st. What time Jordan? I have no idea. Yeah, me neither. So July 1st. Whatever time he says, earlier than that. No!

Be there 10 minutes early just to be safe. 100% early check off. I'm starting to think it's this guy. We also have two new shirt designs. Two new shirt designs. We have repurposed some old Face Jam Never Released items that we have rebranded to 100%. 100% eat.

So now we will have the two items, Sauce Industries, which we did the hat of, the World Industries, The Little Monkey Raindrop guy, the Wet Willie Flame Boy guy. But also the Legallyy flame boy guy. But also the legally distinct. Absolutely. And then, do we just show it here?

How do we want to pop that shirt off? Let's go! We will also be doing... Eric got it tattooed on his chest. We'll also be doing the... What did you call her? I think monkey hookups. Dude, we've had this thing kicking around forever.

Forever. I mean, we have the jacket. Yep. Yeah. And so there you go. We're doing to get it out so people can get off. Yeah, absolutely. And they can get in the shirt. What we landed on is we're going to do it in like this like blue color. Yeah, because I call it ho blue. Yeah, because when we when we did it in black, it looked a little bit too earnest. Like it looked a little bit too much like you

Were like really into it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like you would drive that car that has all the stickers There's the this one's on black the sauce industry Well, I'll send them to him But because it's fun this way yeah, see it's a placeholder. Uh, oh wait, I helped him That's why you gotta think before you speak. Yeah, you're right put him in the truck Yeah, you get in the truck and punched in the butt You follow us at 100% you know Twitter and on Instagram. But again, July 1st, Switchfork and two brand new shirts. July 1st, 100% Eat.store.

And you can send us stuff to the P.O. Box. P.O. Box 14-32-41, Austin, Texas 78714. That's P.O. Box 143241, Austin, Texas 78714. There's something else I was trying to knock the hat off. He said so much stuff. Also, we're doing our streaming eventually. God damn it! God, I keep forgetting about that.

You can buy autographs that we'll sign on stream. Yep, we'll hang out and stream it. And then we'll say whatever dumb thing you have. The streamly stuff. Whatever dumb thing you want signed, you little idiot. So, stay tuned for that also. So there you go. But we'll see you, this is Joel and I.

But I'll say nicely. All of the month. Well, I said whatever they want us to say. Idiot, you fucking ugly hoe. If that's what you want us to say, I'll have to say it. You're bald headed. I'll check it out. Hello, are you fucking ugly?

Rate, subscribe, tell a friend, an ugly friend about the show. Tell a hoe today. Tell your hoe. Bye. Your endings are way more entertaining than his. He just fucking prattles on forever and it's boring.