100% Eat - The Fuggler of Apology - Mighty Fine Ride Along

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

Nick is still the harbinger of good and, luckily for Cheap Ass Gamer, he is also generous in accepting gifts. You know what you did, Jared. Nick knows this. You're absolved. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Beijon mustard. Yeah, we ate it. That guy was pretty good. His dim erics are still down here. Oh, come on, man. Don't away. I know, right? What if they're good?

What if I can fix them? What if I could, like, retie it with a twig? Is that why? Mike, those glasses are down there. Is there anything else down there, Jordan? Nope. Jordan, is there anything else down at your feet? No.

Come on, Jordan. What's down there? What's down there? Jordan, whatever? You want this fucking here, Jordan? You want this He-Man sort that's been here for a month? Check it out. We got another one.

Look at that. Cheap-ass gamer, Jared. Wow. Wow. All is forgiven. Every time. All is forgiven. All is.

Yes, he's forgiven. Again. Were you? Oh, I'm sorry. You like the feud? What's the- Stop trying to fucking soaked. What's he forgiven for?

Nothing for. All. No. For all. For all. He's the harbinger of forgiveness. Oh, yeah. He said, what's he forgiven for?

Nothing. for whatever I want. Stop trying to stoke the flames of flame. Yeah. Again, why is it all that it takes another free that he didn't pay for, Fuggler, that he didn't give us to us? What are we doing with it? Oh, do you want it?

Oh, I don't fucking well. Getting, getting forgiven. Oh, no, no, he's no, he's no, he's no, he's no, he's not he just doesn't need it. It's not about the actual item. It's the gesture that matters. Yeah, that's, you know what? That's what you were gonna say.

And he's forgiven. Yes. Yeah, all of us. You're not gonna be forgiven for this. Drop it. You're about to not be forgiven for asking stupid-ass questions. What's the stupid question? Yeah, there's another one right there.

Dude, stop antagonizing. Oh my God. You're putting him in a corner and yelling at him and crucifying him. How am I coming out of the corner? Is that the worst one that you feel like, like, ah, that's the one I wish I could walk back is the crucified one, Nick? Oh, I don't care about that. Okay.

You care about it? No, I wish I could walk back the feet thing. But yeah, that's probably a better answer. That permeates two different shows. Oh no. I didn't think about that. Oh, yeah. But I'm not thinking about that.

You got your feet in a couple of circles, huh? Oh, god. Ooh! Ding ding ding ding, ding. Got your feet in a couple of pines. I'm gonna Hal Jordan this shit right out the door. He loves a tuck and roll. Yeah, except usually he's driving.

Oh, right. Good luck, Jr. It's just me saying that to you. Eric, as he continues driving. He just jumped out the car. All is forgiven. What? He's got a little backup, Nick.

His last words were, I forgive you. Not you, actually. Tell Jared, I forgive him. He's going to leave you in the car like. Tell Jared, I forgive him. He's doing. And Jared just goes, for what? I don't think he will.

I think he knows that's why he sent it. Oh. I think Jared was like a little piece offering. A little taste of goodwill. Take a little tip. Yeah, it's definitely not his trash that he's offloading. No! No!

A fuckler like that. Why don't they make? You know he was like, ah, fuck, do I give it up? Do I put it on my shelf or do I give it to those guys? Really, really wrestling with it. Yeah, I bet. I really feel bad about Nick. He's probably.

keeping all the handsomlers for himself. The handsomlers. I really feel bad about Nick. That's what you think he says? No, that's what you just said. Yeah, I said it. Yeah, no. I'll see you guys. You got me.

There you go. The door's unlocked. Or they locked? I locked it again. Oh, okay. You're safe. I don't think he's got a child safety lot, Nick. He can't keep a strapped in here. If we want to jump out, we can jump out whatever we want.

It's true. Don't let them tell us up front, back people, we can't jump out the car whatever we want. We control our own destiny. Oh, by the way, fellas, that Casa Chappala place that's over here, I was wrong, it's good. What?

But you've been holding your grudge against it for years. The place that you say sucks every time we pass it? No. Oh yeah. You'd like flip off? It's good. What place is it? No, I don't remember.

No, what is it? Costa Chippala over here on like Burnett. Very good. You absolutely passed. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, like you had like a whole story about how it sucked and why it sucked. Yeah. Well, they changed their ways like Jared.

Yeah. They made it up to me like Jared. All it's for, hey, once again, all is forgiven. They plop the fuckler down on the table. Yeah, that's all it takes. Why? Did you go and eat there? Yeah, it was good. It'd be weird if he didn't. Yeah, what if I was just like, he came back? But he was against it for the reason. Yeah, and clearly they've changed. They brought him over. Well, Jesus Christ. How'd they get you in the door?

Yeah. How'd they, had they, had they? Some friends wanted to go and have drinks and food. And you could stop them? Damn. You casually floated another location and they were like, no, this works best for me. Well, we floated a few locations and everyone's like, I want text bags. And I was like, no, I want. Nica was like, fuck, and I'll drink.

What do you want? Yeah, I will drink. What did you get? I got like a chicken burrito and then we got queso, of course, of the table. That was good. Really enjoyable. And of course, a frozen margarita. Of course.

Yo, I found this place in Mueller that's kind of like tucked away between like the Veracruz and hot dotty where the Calcian used to be. Yes, yeah, yeah. It's called La Mesca. Yeah. And it's this really like small, dark tequila-based cocktail bar, which is really cool. The vibe is really neat. The drinks are good. They've got interesting like other spirits for Mexico, not just like mescal and tequila.

Recommend it. It's very small, though. Did Nick hate it? Perfect for Eric. Did Nick hate it at any point? No, I don't think he knows about it. Oh, okay. I don't think he ever heard about it.

They don't have to apologize to me. It just looked up like, probably wanted like a margarita after like a long week. We were in that area and I was like, there's this place. They don't have margaritas, but like it worked out. It was still good. You could have just gone to Costa Chippala.

No, it's the other way. It was not close enough. Oh. That's the other way. You could have kind of chewies. Yeah, I almost float it. I was like, uh, there's a Chewis. I don't think Holly wants to ever go to a Chewies.

Or a Margarita. I also don't think so. No. No. Margarita. No thing about Holly screams, take me to a Chewis. Chewis, me favorita. Is it, is Chewis like an Austin thing or is it just a like Texas thing?

I believe it started off on Barton Springs, didn't it? Oh, that's the original one that was there? Yeah. I think so. I believe so. I don't know, I'm not from here. Yeah. Me neither.

Yes, you are. I'm from down there. It's close enough. He's from back home. He's from back home. I have the four of us in this car, yes, you are. Yeah. Yeah.

Nick, you're a born Texan, right? I was born here and then I'll die here. And then you live- Right now. Did you move to Pennsylvania and then London? Nebraska. I forget it's Nebraska. Nebraska for six years.

Jesus. Then back to San Antonio. Then to England. Then back to San Antonio. What did you keep coming back for? The vodka? The tequila? It was tequila.

Well, I eventually came back for the tequila, but my dad came back because of Air Force assignments. I see. Shamu? And because he, yeah, he helped you. He had a clean shamoo's team. That was after, that was when he worked at UTSA. Or no, the UT Health Science Center.

Interesting. And he was teaching kids' kids. He was teaching adults how to be tennis. Teaching children. All right, son, make up this drill. Put this in the other kid's mouth. Am I doing this right? No.

Full gas, go. Step on the pedal. Give me some first. Now you. Ciderhouse rules. I'll always take a little off the top. It evens us both out. We both want to have a good time here, right?

You're calm. On calm. Just one hit. It's got to steady this. Like, you guys have had, like, laughing gas, like nitrous whatever. No. I know. I don't think so.

I don't think so. Nitrous gas. Oh. No. Did you guys see that soccer player? Who got pulled over with laughing gas in his car? Wow, really? Yeah.

Was he the Joker? He just wanted to put a smile on that face. His own. It was, like, in the front seat. Wow, really? What? Was it like the big fucking... Oh yeah.

There was like the big tank? Oh yeah. It wasn't even like Galaxy gas? I believe he was using it while he was driving. Whoa. Now he had to have it buckled, right? I don't know. That tags are rolling around?

Yeah. You don't want that going through the wheel. How'd that end up? I believe, I believe arrested. And we're sure that he wasn't going to plug it into his car to make the car go fast. Oh. Does it make it go fast or doesn't make the car funny? I think it depends.

Does it turn into like a... It makes a car's fucked up enough enough. thinks it's going fast. You turn into like a, the taxi from, it's like, when you drink a bunch of robatussing, it's like, I feel like I feel like I feel like, a terrible sickness you feel. Turns into a cartoon car, it goes,

bup, bup, pab, p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p p. Yeah, what kind of car was it, do you remember? Was it a car that seemed like it was gonna go fast? Yeah, it was a Lamborghini. Oh, it's gotta go faster. Maybe he was. Yeah, maybe he was. It's definitely the car you want to be driving

when you're high on laughing. is something for me and then you put it in the vents one for you and then you floor it and you outrun the cops so cool it's so cool uh galaxy gas the canisters that people are buying where they're just like doing like whippets and shit that's crazy dude i saw those all over the place in london yeah isn't that the whippets on the ground everywhere doesn't that kill brain cells yes like well i mean i don't remember Yeah, it's that thing where it's just like hotel room. It's just cutting off oxygen, Jordan.

Can't stop it once he starts. This guy loves he loves his gas. Got to get a guy at my gas. Guys, Jordan didn't sleep again last night. He was out all weekend. Jordan on another bender. Oh, Jordan, stop, please. Just classic.

Just, just, just. I do partake. See, now. Now, this is why the wiggity, wiggity, wiggity, was so good, who missed Eric. Yeah, right. Because it's unlikely. It's so unlikely.

They don't even know what you're talking about. You were like, neither do you. That's like fucking shoo-meet. You're like, I didn't even get it out. You were so excited to drop that on him. Ridgill. He called him a squid. Yeah, he doesn't even know what he's being insulted.

They said it's from rocket. It's from rocket power. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. And what that? And what that? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, we all know. And you can't do that. You can't be the squid. Well, we can't. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, we're in a group of four and you're the squid. Ah!

Maybe I were claiming it. Maybe I want to be the squid. Yeah, okay. Okay, well. Not familiar. What's the squid? He's a fucking dork. Why were we talking about rocket power? Because we were talking about the mountains in California.

That's right. And then I said Mount Baldigo. where they snowboarded in Rocket Power. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then for some reason, I started getting it. Well, you revealed you didn't know what it was. I don't know what it is.

Well, I know what Rocket Power is. I just never watched it. Oh, yeah, what is it? It's the Extreme Sports Kids. It's the brother and the sister. Uh-huh. And they got... And then the squid.

Yeah, and then the Eric. Oh, is one of them a... The Eric! Is one of them a squid? They have, uh... They have like an uncle that owns like a food place or something. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Well, I mean, that's... It seems like you've watched the show. They do... No, this is all just sort of like putting it together, and then they do extreme sports. I don't remember. I think the dad owns it and then the uncle works there? Uncle, works there.

Okay, okay, you're talking about... Tito? Tito? Uncle Tio. Uncle Tio. He doesn't know it like we do, right? What's his name? Fuck. Ray Mundo.

Yeah. Oh, wow! It's because I said it. It's because he said it. It's because he said it a handful of him. Oh. Nick was really impressed for some time. I was giving you too much credit.

That's how much Nick was paying attention. Here, can I have that fungler so I can give it back to apologize? Yes, you can't have it. I'm sorry. It is now your... You know, I don't know what I expected. The fungler. I told you what I was going to do.

I guess it goes back down here with the dim Eric. They're going to get fixed. someday. I gotta figure out, he's saving them for parts. I don't know where you get it. You got enough broken dim erics, you can make a new one. Right. The sum of the- It's all patchworked.

Oh, it's, how did it get in here in the door? I don't know, I just throwing things around. Interesting. You put them on the fuggler? No. Oh, all right. My, my He-Man sword. Is that like you?

Yeah. I feel like this thing has been in here for, yeah. A year and a half, but we got a year and a half, The He-Man movie came out six months ago? We got to protect ourselves. Uh-huh. From Jared Leto.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Hey, yes, we do need to protect ourselves from Jared Lito. I want to make a movie. It's going to be a bomb. It's always a bomb. That is what he does.

No. Huh? That's what he says. That's what Jared Lotto says. Yeah. Hey, this movie failed. No-uh. Uh-uh.

Are you being Jared Lotto when you're saying that? Well, I was then, but I'm not. Okay, thank you for clarifying that you're not going on. He asked, what do you want? No longer Jared left on it. Yeah. It's just that it sounded so much like you when you said no. But we were confused.

Ah, I get it. He was imbibing him. I'm sorry, I didn't sound enough like a weasel. Hold on. I'm not doing it again. No one asked you to him. I know. I was clearing my throat like I was gonna, but then I didn't.

Cool story. Is that what happened? Jordan, did you get that? I guess I'm having a hard time keeping up. What's the matter? You keep pulling the handle. You're not forgiven. This is a weird one, you guys.

Yeah. That's because it's been Eric questioning Nick the whole ride. Yeah. He turned into a fucking interview show for some reason. That's why it's been so weird. I just want to know why he's just like, Nick you on the floor? The entire drive.

It's just been asking him questions. That's why. What else can we learn about Nick? He's saying stuff. I'm trying to get you with him. He wasn't saying a lot. You've been asking a lot of questions. You've been dragging it out of me.

You haven't dragging it out of it. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, stop dragging. You write it down in your fucking journal at home, your little Nick Shrine you got, like Hulkup Battacky. You watch that show, asshole? Oh, like, hey Arnold, yeah.

Come on, somebody make a move, please. Somebody drive. Everybody freeze. What's your question? It's the one to know what you're forgiving Jared for. Oh, well, every question but that. I don't remember at this point. Next fucking question.

You're going to be banned from the press pool. Yeah, you better be careful. Your credentials are revoked. Enough of this shit. Now, the only way you can get to Nick is if you watch Nick TV, a service that's definitely shooting for the stars. Yeah, it's going to be really good. The numbers are not incredibly disappointing off the rip.

Pretty good stuff. Hey, we're still talking about it. We'll have sound at least. Dude, the video of him just standing in a podium with people and he's talking, no sound, incredible. That's fantastic, isn't it? That is so awesome. Man.

What a bunch of those. How do you guys feel about the snipers on top of the arch? What? What? I'm not familiar with this. Which arch, where? The one they want to build? No, the triumphal arch or whatever.

Oh. They're going to put it with ammunition and snipers and shit. Have you not seen that? No. I can just go, I got to go up there. Yeah. Take some ammo. Yeah.

It's going to be filled with munitions. For, okay. Yeah. Come on. Are you guys behind? Are we back in the 40s? They're really, talk of munitions and snipers. They really, you know, that monument?

With all this stuff. They do. Flood the zone is a great way to put it. I'm flooded. I can't keep up. What the fuck? So it's just going to be filled with like bullets? Oh, all kinds of munitions.

It's like a, it's like a bring your own gun. situation? No, no, no, no. You're not allowed. Yeah, you're not allowed. Oh. It's going to be built for them inside. It's not munitions for me. Oh, no. Filled with munitions, drones. Okay. Protecting what? Yeah. The art. Exactly. Exactly. You get it. I don't think it's to protect anything. I think it's to unprotect stuff. Whoa. Yo, yeah. Again. Jordan. I know, right? I'm trying to give as much room as we can to get out on the one side.

Oh, you know, I appreciate it. Thank you. You're about to get a fuggler. You got a fuggler. Where is the fuggler? It's in the car. Where would you... Where's our apology fuggler?

Oh shit. Guys, where is it? It escaped. Oh, contain it. I guess we don't have to go upstairs because there's... Oh, yeah. Well, we have to go upstairs to do the show. Well, yeah.

But... We could have ended it in the garage. Here's a bunch of... Like we usually do. There's a bunch of snacks that we're going to eat, but we already actually ate them if you're watching this. So, hey, this Saturday, check out how... How, what?

Probably be a replay. Oh, is that what it looks like? What's the headline say? Trump plans to turn Washington arch into a military complex with drones, snipers, and ammunition. Read the news, guys. God damn.

All right, well, there you have it. This is America. Find out more, I guess. I don't want to. I'm backing up. I just want to make a hurry for you. You'll never end the show. Ask me a question.