100% Eat - The Grape Goon Strikes & Cottage Cheese Mysteries? | Food Court 10/24/25 Part 2

Episode Date: November 8, 2025

ORDER IN THE COURT! Our Heroes Judges hear from YOU as you throw yourself on the mercy of the court. The docket today includes a retrial, couples arguing, and food crimes that MUST be punished. Do you Grape Goon? Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1866-3-3-1-2-600 or visit comixonterio.ca. Nice Oh wow Very cool Let's see how many we can get through Probably less than one Yeah

I'm very excited to get to like this next one When Michael gets back This is gonna be great This song is just so Pete and Jen did such a good job with us It's fucking crazy It's so good It's so like upbeat but like smooth

Yeah Ooh maybe we should post we posted like a 10-hour loop of this on YouTube. Cool beats to study too. Yeah, absolutely. To try cases to. Yeah, to try cases too. Lost dude.

And we could put the monkey like he's like in the court, like he's the lo-fi beats girl. Alright, I'll get on that. Yeah, this is good. If we just do a 10-hour loop of this, I think that'd be like really funny. We're just waiting for Michael to get back with the drinks and then we'll get right back into court. I heard him shout something. What's up? Oh, okay.

The tiny face Eric is fucked up. I don't like tiny face. I don't like that one at all. It's so fucked. You look like Mike Lindell somehow. I don't know. I don't know why or how, but you do. My pillow. Defamation.

You know, they were saying on that first one. Yeah. Hey, we're just got a little loop going. Yeah, we're just chilling. They were, um, the brief recess. Yeah, I was saying on that first one and it reminded me when, you know, she's like, when I was a kid and that's the lot of things are like, well, let me explain. When I was a kid, I would say from the age of like seven to nine,

what I would do with my friends is I would take my penis out. And I would like swing it around and run at them. And then I stopped doing that. Did you know any kids that did that, like to take their dick out kids? No, no. Yeah, it was a thing. Well, I guess it was. Only in New Jersey.

Yeah. Sometimes you just take your dig out and you try to pee on your friends. Oh, I did know that kid. Okay. Yeah, that was me. Okay. And they go, stop, stop, stop.

And you just start pee. Let's get on. And I stopped doing it. Like five years ago. Let's get back into court. Hit the audio stick. Stop. All right, this next one

That we're going to We're going to read. This one was not sent out a summons. This is one we're going to read And this is from shame This is from shame. The reason we didn't send out a summons for this Is there's not really anything you can explain.

We just want to get a ruling And see if this is something that We should try? Oh my God. Hey, Nick, you can let me know if you want to try this. Okay. My roommate eats on the toilet. Oh, never mind.

What? It started with me finding chocolate wrappers in the bathroom trash, and I foolishly assumed he'd simply eaten them in the kitchen and thrown them away in the bathroom. It's not unusual. When I finally asked him about it, he was all like, yeah, I like to bring a little snack in case I get hungry. You know, regular style. The worst was when I found an entire empty family-sized back of Tostino's scoops in the bathroom. bathroom trash. Hold on. I have no idea why he feels the need to bring goddamn provisions into the pooper, but I'm pretty sick of hearing it's normal, it's normal, it's normal, hammer his ass. Is this guy a long pooper? This is? Is he like, how long? Lunchtime?

Dee, maybe he's trying like, well, if I start, if I go now, and I eat something, how long until it comes, goes through and it comes back out? Can I, can I tell you this? Can I tell you, that uh you can when i heard about this it reminded me it reminded me it reminded me of a story that roco bodie for mega 64 told me oh roco the food guy it's rocko body when he because he's got that he said that he uh he said he sat on the toilet took a shit and ate a sandwich at the same time and he went yeah that's kind of everything huh what does that mean it's kind of This is like a side-feld episode. Yeah. What, Goulog, Nick has a sign that says,

Goulog, it's written backwards for us, but it's forwards for you. So, just wanted to share that eating in the bathroom. So that's the type of person doing this kind of stuff. At most, so my bathroom, it's like my master bathroom in my house, it's from my bedroom, into my bathroom,

and then I have a door to the closet, and then a door to the toilet. Yeah, I have a little toilet room. I'll at most bring a drink into the bathroom, like with the sinks, right? You know, the outer area, not into the inner chamber. No, no. And even then, never am I going to bring food, even into the bathroom, period. And I tell my kids that all the time. Oh, yeah, like the bathroom is just like.

They, well, because they do tablet brain. So they'll sit on the toilet, fucking door open. And they're just in there for like 40 minutes. They finally leave. I go in there and there's like a bag of candy on the ground. What? And I'm like, don't be eating candy on the toilet. Wow.

Stop bringing food in there! There's definitely been times where, like, as a kid with, like, the Game Boy, where, like, you know, you just... It's something to do, but then, like, you get engrossed in the game. And, like, all of a sudden, the sun's going down, you know? I just don't know. Here's the thing. Bringing, like, oh, I ate some candy.

That's fucking crazy. That's weird. It's also, you know, six-year-old. Any type of eating it all on the toilet. This guy's bringing candy and throwing it away in there. Fine. You know what? crazy I don't like it whatever the whole scoops bag what are you scooping yeah what's being scooped

yeah is there salsa did he bring salsa in there oh you flush it down the toilet do you ever did he bring salsa in there finish the chips throw the chips away put the salsa back in the fridge that salsa would be like tainted like that would be a shitty roommate thing now is this a person too that now when they sit there they just did they just go to the bathroom and bring what they're holding or do they sit down and have like a bathroom like a like a piss platter where they have like a treet

they're like cooking up a meals well they're like oh I have to go to the bathroom let me grab the bread and the cold cuts bring them in set out the piss platter and then as they're on the toilet they make sandwiches they do they do this yeah and get to work I just don't why any the toilet is no place to be consuming food

it's to be ridding yourself Yeah, yeah, dude, that's like even when you go to some, like, movie theaters, like Alamo, they'll have a fucking cup holder like above the urinal. I think, oh, no, Rudy's. Rudy's has that. Oh, yeah. As far away from it as you can get. And it's just like, I'm pissing in this direction. Yeah.

Well, let me just put my cup in this, well, in this, you know, it's up above. I can't splash that high. Just insane to not only be the person to bring food or drink in the bathroom, but the establishment has. said, we got you. Yeah. If you're going to bring your pissy piss drink in here, you can put it in this piss cup. I know you love it.

That's going to be covered in fucking piss and shit particles. It's like, it's not even a thing where bringing your drink in, like from the bar into like the bathroom is even like on the line. No, it's not on the line. It's past the line. Like, you shouldn't be doing that. You leave it at the goddamn bar.

You leave it at the table or you just drink your drink. Right. You piss in between drinks. there's no world where you need to be bringing your drink in an open pint glass not that anything is acceptable but I feel like at best

it's like you walk into the bathroom say you have like a cup with a lid and a straw you can put it like public bathroom you put it on the sink and then you go do your business come back that's the closest you can get I won't even I just traveled recently I won't even put my bag on the fucking floor

Oh never I'm hanging on the hook Yeah yeah or I just have to hold it over my shoulder I've done that Yeah, if there's no hook where it's just like, it's just, I guess it's sitting on my lap. Food and drink in the fucking bathroom. Come on. Crazy.

Well, I think the ruling here, Shane, is that your roommate's a fucking free. Fucking freak, dude. You don't want to be a good follow-up question. I would wonder, does this person wash their hands when they use the rest of room? Are they the kind of- You know, because you know they're going to say yes. I would hope to God they say no. Yeah.

Because that at least would give me peace of mind. Like, you're grossing it. You're grossing it. Yeah. But if you went. No, of course I wash my hands. Yeah. Oh, I'm very particular about everything except this.

As you're eating food in the bathroom, like pick a lane. Go one way or the other. Wow. Man, well, you want to roll on this guy? Yeah, don't piss and shit on your food. Yeah. What else can you say? Now, if you had to punch some shit down a tour.

Yeah, I mean, you got to do what you got to do. You got to do, but I wasn't eating. I was working. And I worked it. I worked that fucking drainy. I can still hear that like crazy. Is it really? Yeah.

Okay, well, tell me that sooner. Yeah, what's the hell? I just heard it as we were going to this. We have another summons that's been sent out. This is for Carol, aka Cici. Okay. C, C, C, are you here here? Let's see.

Carol, Cici. Oh. They're right there. Where's that? I need them to request. Oh, you got a request to join. Please request the hammer You said, am I here? I asked an answer question

That has me punching the poop Jordan, did you draw that? I did. I did know that I like that a little tool built I like the beanie you gave me and that's I was back in your beanie day I know that's of my little pony thunderbolt on my shirt Mm-hmm Ccc are you there I am

I just need to figure up my headphones Hey hey you figure it out you crack the code a lot faster than some of those guys earlier So don't worry about it Would you prefer us to call you Cici or Carol I have no preference but CC definitely work you got it okay just say this I'll just say this as someone it's like oh hey Michael nice to meet you hey nice to meet you Mike you might not have a preference you gotta have an answer when you meet strangers and they say what should I call you yep don't say whatever big boy that's the problem is it's always been a whatever like Carol's not even my real

name so wow this just keeps getting deep Who are you then? Who are you? I'm going with Cece's pizza. Yeah, all right, C.C. I was thinking CCH Pounder. God damn it, Michael. God damn it, Mackey. All right.

That's pretty good. Can I read what you sent us in here? Oh, please. That's your job. Whoever you are. That is my job. I come before you today, not with a grievous offense, but with a humble petition for judgment. I like this.

Is cottage cheese to be considered sweet or savory? Some of us, some among us, degenerates, choose to desecrate it with sweetened fruit. Yeah. And we all remember how that turned out for Jean-Beney Ramsey, R-I-P angel, and then this emoji. Is that a known fact about... I don't...

Me and Jordan read this and went, is that a thing about John B'nai Ramsey? Jean Bonnet Jean Bonnet Ramsey Okay, I You could fill us in in a minute Yeah I however was raised

In a righteous home Where cottage cheese served its true purpose As a glorious dip For Fritos and other salty chips Uh oh Nick's clapping Yet in my pursuit

Of flavor gains I may have flown too close To the culinary sun As we all do I may have committed food crime. Yeah. For I partake in the union of pork rinds and cottage cheese. I call it protein protein. Worse still, I have spread this gospel to my family and they too consume it happily. Thoughts on cottage cheese off the rip guys? Love it. Good shit. Wow, really? Absolutely love it. I'm fairly

indifferent on it. Wow, I'm like pretty, I don't like it. I'm I'm like 75, 66% don't like it. Wow. That's not indifferent, Jordan. But I get the need for it as an adult and like eat it more willingly. But as a kid, I didn't. I'm 150% for cottage cheese. I love cottage cheese. So how do you feel about the sweet and savory of it?

I, from what I've heard so far, I have no issues with this at all. Wow, really? You think pork rinds is a good combo? I think I'd try it because cottage cheese is fucking amazing. And you're just dipping it, right, Cici? Yeah, like take a good. little scoop. Yeah. I got no problem with this. I'm a cheese freak. As I mentioned earlier,

in all forms, including cottage. Not all forms. I don't want to put cheese in cereal. That's true. That's true. But if you're talking about, if you're talking about cut up mozzarella sticks or cheese string and put it in Czech cereal with milk, no. If you're talking about delicious, delicious cottage cheese and maybe you just dunk some shit into it, I'm willing to accept that. The first part. And I also, I'll be honest, this is bias. I'm sold on protein protein. Yeah, we know. Taking this one, Nick, Nick said we got to know, but I'm pretty sure his G is backwards. I didn't see it.

It was him looking about a three second pause and then, fuck. It took him a long time. So I, when we picked this one initially, it wasn't with the knowledge that Michael liked cottage cheese, but with the knowledge that protein protein would be right up his alley. Yeah. It's both, though. Is that a lot of? I did take inspiration, you know. Look at him.

You're talking to, you're talking to a guy who. a snack that I and this is certainly not a food crime I wouldn't even submit it because I know I'm right when you're talking to a person a snack that my mother made me is you take a because I grew up on salami and cheese is one of my favorite fucking sandwich

I still get it to this day you take a thing of salami and you put cream cheese in the middle of it and then you roll it up oh sure yeah and so it's like that's kind of like how it started with the pork grinds for me is was right that's what I'm saying Eric made a face cream cheese on pork grinds

and then I switch it over to cottage cheese so much better. Huh? Where are you gonna say at me? No, nothing. That's fine. No, no, no. The salami cheese is fine. And she said that's kind of how it was with this... I don't know the the root you take from... That's right. Oh, yeah. You know, cream cheese, salami to cottage cheese and pork crumbs.

It's close enough. It's meat chips. It's a meat chip. It's all connected. It's just like a fucked-up chips and queso. Yeah. It's a pig and milk. Don't say that. You're hurting our case here. My client You get me the judge and the client Conflict of interest

My client withdraws her previous statement Of pork, pork and cheese Pork and cheese Oh pig Pig and curd Pig and milk Pig and curd You know pig milk bath

Fucking disgusting Nick seems so on board with trying this Yeah he's trying everything I want to know about the Jean Bonnet Ramsey's thing Oh yes Tell us about Jean Bonnet How did she get murdered eating fruit? So there is a very, like, wide conspiracy that her brother killed her because the last

thing found in her stomach that she ate was pineapple and cottage cheese. Okay. So. And that dot, dot, that was his favorite snack. So they think that he killed her because she was eating his favorite food. That was his favorite snack? Or he that's what I'm saying. That's, I don't, His favorites the favorite snack of a child was pineapple and cottage cheese. They grew up in Utah It's good. It's fucking good. I'm okay. I don't know I actually don't but I've never had fruit cottage cheese Yeah, it's like it's a whole thing you can get like um they sell packets that's like it's like three quarters cottage cheese and then one quarter of a fruit Oh, it'll be like a like a pure a yeah yeah you mix it in it'll be like um it'll be like I'm sorry it's what it's a waste she doesn't like the fruit she's like the fruit with it

she's a savory cottage cheeser yeah I thought the what was your initial your initial question about like cottage cheese itself is it sweet or savory yeah yeah so what do you consider what do you consider it's savior it's savory it's cheese I would tend to agree there's nothing sweet about cottage cheese no cause exactly I'm not saying it's a little bit savory but it's sweet it's like it's got a little like the curd going it's got this going on right you get a spoon you go um it's got that going on but like you've also heard like other atrocious like atrocious things people have made with it like embrosias oh yeah yeah mix it into like jellos and things like that jellos yeah but that was in the 50s everyone had leg oh yeah okay

that's different than embryos sorry my friend is still having it at family gatherings. Unfortunately, people are still doing this. What? Well, you know, those recipes get past the house. I'm just saying, dude, you buy a big old tub of cottage cheese. Yeah, yeah, it does. Burger King.

You got a big old tub of cottage cheese and it's like, oh, 10 servings. Fuck that, that's one ass serving. I will just fucking house that whole fucking thing in one go. That's what I'm talking about. This is crazy. The court is compromised. Yeah. No, it's not.

I didn't think cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is amazing. It's that perfect, like, it's that perfect, like, chemical state of cheese where it's, like, becoming thicker. Yeah. And it's not quite curds in a way. Right. Well, it's curds, for sure. But it's not moldy yet.

And you're just like, oh, it's just like the consistency. I feel like it's the thing where you're like, I don't like how it feels in my mouth. It's a little more sour than some of me. And I'm going, I love how it feels in my mouth. Put more in my mouth. Yeah. Secretly Amicat said C.C. St.C.

St. For cottage cheese. Well, that's good. It's true. That's good. This is just cottage cheese being to it. I'm just like again Where you are you uh, take it. You take a tortilla chip. You put it in some fucking liquid so that's fine. What's a pork rind and some cottage cheese? I guess I mean I guess it seems like a Sloply slope if you ask me that's it's it's delicious and it's a slippery slope like you fucking in games. Yes like a slope like you throw up. How much protein are we talking about here? How much proteins in cottage cheese?

How much proteins in a pork rind? I will literally look that up. Yeah, you get a little packet of cottage. Give me with the numbers. You get a little single serving of cottage cheese. I'm guessing it's probably around 10. Wow, really? So I actually have it right now and I'm snacking on it.

Because I thought I would have some justice. Okay, Jesus Christ. One cup of cottage cheese is 25 grams of protein. Okay, never mind. I was way off. That's awesome. That's huge. The half ounce I had was nine grams.

That's huge. 34 grams of bright, that's, I'm extra sold. Yeah, I was already sold. I'm, I'm ready to make judgment. All right, let's, let's have a ruling. I don't, I, the evidence is overwhelming. Yeah. You know, I don't have a leg to stain on it.

It is, what is 33% anti-cott's cheese. What is not enough for me to overrule my opinion. Undeniable, though, is protein, protein. Yeah. You're talking about 34 grams of protein from some fucking. If you would come, if you'd come in here telling me it's 12 grams of protein or like, Nine, I would have been like your cases fall in the park. Yeah, it's hard to argue with 34.

Yeah, 34 combined is pretty big. That's like, that's like a double quarter pounder for McDonald's. It's pretty good. I bet it's worthless calories. You don't have to bet. It is. Cottage cheese is heavy on the fat, though. Yeah.

Be careful. Heavy on the fat. You're going to make sure you're working out. Some fat's good. Nightmare just said they ordered four bags of pork rinds and 24 ounces of cottage cheese. Going to be a good weekend. Excellent. Yeah. Oh, heck yeah.

Protein Pete. All right. Well, what's the ruling? I mean, my ruling is I'm in favor of it. All right. Let's try it. I have to go along. I have to go along with Michael.

I appreciate this ruling so much. Yeah. I mean, I appreciate your love for cheese, Cecee, and that you went about it in a not like stereotypical normal way, but I don't think you come close to being a freak committing food crimes. No, you showed us. Thank you. the Jean Bonnet rantsy stuff and you know what not telling us your real name that

further sells it everything everything is working in your favor okay we just came from cheese there's Carolyn and there's another there is there is there is wow there are two Carolyn's that's that would have been confusing CC like see my name is Carol there you go there you have it well are there doubters in your life over this oh yeah that's a great question just real quick have you have you recommend other people I have it like I said I accidentally spread it to my family like I was making a joke about it and they were just like,

we have to try this and they all love it. Um, I've told other people, but they're a trailblazers. Sounds like a very happy family. I like that John Bonaireenka. Yeah, uh, I think you, I hear by say you're clear of all, you're not like John Bonaise Ramsey's family. You're clear of all crimes. Um, I heard her brother killed her.

Yeah, we're on the street. Speculations, open case still. Oh, thank you, Nick. Dacey knows the truth. And that's protein, protein. You're clear. You're free to go. Release the prisoner.

Yeah, you're free to leave the court. Thank you, C.C. The press will be on the steps outside. Yeah, no kidding. To tell you about this historic win. I mean, your big victory. Thank you and have a blessed day. That was, I mean, that's not the way I saw that going.

I'm super impressed. Rare W in the food court. Oh, he dropped his deal. No. Yeah, it's okay. He picked it back up. I got it. Here's another one that we sent out a summons for, I believe.

Is internet potato in the chat? Is internet potato here? Mr. Potato. Internet. It literally says Mr. Potato. Is that is that you? Is that you? Mr. Potato is that you?

Who else could it be? Go ahead. There's another Mr. Potato out there. Listen, I'm just making sure. Yeah. Mr. Potato head. Go ahead's potato. Request. Send a request to get on stage.

Remember when they woke the fuck out of. Mr. Potato. Yeah, it was like just potato and people got mad because they were like and then they took away his high heels

and you took away Mr. Potato's high heels I stopped getting hard. Sorry, go ahead. Mr. Mr. Internet Potato,

thank you for joining us. Really appreciate you. Really appreciate you being here. Now, my understanding was that you were not a member of this Patreon. You actually emailed in

your food court submission. Am I correct in that? Yes, that is correct. Okay, so, Michael, just know that even with priority submissions, this one stood out so much that we had to take it. Okay. What do you mean? Before we start, did you just say, uh-oh?

What did you think was going to happen with what the fuck you sent in? You're a maniac. He was open whatever happened with CC. Here's the email. Okay. Do you remember 3D Doritos? Yes. Yeah, me too.

My submission is when I would eat 3D Doritos. I would eat one Dorito and chew it up nice and good. Then I would take a bite out of the corner of another Dorito and then fill that Dorito with the chewed up Dorito of the other Dorito. I can't do this anymore, unfortunately, because they don't make them anymore. Internet potato? Have you tried bugles? Because I feel like that could be a substitute.

I think they still make those. I don't want to cheat on 3D Doritos. Okay. You know what? All right. You know what? A man with morals. How did you... Is this learned behavior? You just did this? Like, how did you come about this? Yeah. How did you discover this? Are you a bird? Are you familiar with the blob? This was very stoned learned behavior. Okay. Okay. And so you saw, you chewed up one Dorito and then you looked at another Dorito and you said, look it pretty empty.

This was not any every single Dorito type of thing. This was a... It's once in a while. Don't backtrack. Stay on... Sometimes I visit ladies of the night. It's not every night.

It's just sometimes when I'm lonely. No, I will say... Crime is a crime. You are saying that you're doing this and maybe it's not all the time. I can say I've never done it. Michael, have you ever done this? No.

Jordan, have you ever done this? No, and I never even had the thought when 3D Doritos were around. No, the closest thing I think of is going back to the blob and it's thinking of like the cheese it stuck in my gums and the grossest part

I have to scoop it out with my finger and then still eat it because it's still in my own mouth but even then I feel like if anyone saw me doing this it's like the equivalent of picking your boogers and eating it yes is how I feel

yeah that's kind of how I'm feeling with this now like chew juju spit into another Dorito and then and then what and then just pop that into your mouth of course and then what would it be like

I regret asking I mean it's almost like a gusher I guess oh my god Eric has taken off his head phone like ways to describe

there's the vial it's like a gusher that rules in what way exactly is is it is it like squishing out yeah dude yeah it's like a pie filling though

yeah I know I see what you're saying I'm not okay with it But I understand it. I fully get what you're saying. Now, is it a... You see people do crazy things and you go, I get why that crazy guy did that.

Would you, uh... You would directly baby bird this into the, uh, the open Dorito, right? You weren't like taking it out, doing it by hand. Yes, that's gross. Oh, no. No, that's gross. Come on.

Yeah. That's gross. Yeah, what are you fucking nuts, Jordan? Now, are you doing that in front of other people? You know, you're like... Yeah, is this like a shame thing in secret or... You just let balls hang out in public. This is definitely in a dark corner.

Okay, all right. Okay, that's good to hear. Yeah, that's good to hear. Some shame is always good. Shame is always good. Have you told other people about this? Oh, no. Okay.

Okay. So this doesn't come up in conversation where like there's a wall and you guys go, you go, hey, you guys remember 3D drovos? This is how introduced myself. Nice. Hi, I'm the internet potato and you're never going to believe what I do. So what you're happening is, so what you're saying is you've kept this filthy dark secret for however long. You came across food court and went, I got something.

I need to get off my chest. And you presented to us, is that more or less fair? For sure. Okay. Well, I got to say you're... I appreciate the honesty and the lack of concern for the optics. You're throwing yourself out there and to literally... Millions of viewers. Millions. Billions, I've heard. Possibly billions.

Yeah. Upwards of how many people are in chat, Nick? Hundreds. He can't see the screen. He went... I can't see it. Over 250 live with us right now. Almost one million. Yep, that's right. Pretty close. Pretty close. Um, it's a crazy thing to do. Yeah. Um, any kind of, I mean, I don't... Let me ask one thing here. Um, do you do other, like, food, weird food stuff, like, now?

with food that's available because these have not been available right that's a very long question have you had to fill your fix with something else when the Doritos the 3D Doritos went away or you just fucking Jones in all the time I've just never done it without 3D Doritos right so how long

has it been since you've done it oh probably since 2020 when they came back okay so oh so you know wait for the so now you just patiently wait for the 3D Doritos to like poke their head above the water and then you strike Or are you like actively looking for like I gotta fight like you go on eBay and buy old 3D Doritos?

I think I'm the reason they're not coming back Okay that could be I don't know everyone Are you buying a lot of them The Doritos company has this has been Come to our attention we do not support this We can't let this continue internet potato And he they're not coming back because of him

He's doing it gusher style Oh So you wouldn't consider yourself a food freak otherwise like there's nothing else you do with any other snacks like that's weird this is okay now how did you how did you discover this was this like a childhood thing no just okay really stupid okay oh you said you were high that makes that now now if we that's why not even once kids if i if i can ask you though weed cratum special k well just weed just weed okay i was in a k-hole eat 3d

Your Cahole's a gateway drug to this. He's a gateway drug to chewing up your 3D Doritos and spitting them into another 3D Doritos. That's, you know what? I don't remember that from Dare. Yeah, I was going to say, I saw it for Dare that was like that. The kid was doing it. I learned it from watching you.

Well, what's your ruling on internet potato here? Well, I mean, like, there's not much we can do. I mean, he physically can't do it anymore. He physically can't do it. I will give credit and appreciation. for the like only do this in a quiet dark room facing the wall shame factor yeah the fact that you're not a you don't seem to be a you're not telling people guys you got to try it yeah I feel like it's one of those things where the ruling is like I'm not happy about it but you're

not hurting anyone I kind of want 3D Doritos to come back now I haven't thought about them since I didn't know they came back in 2020 yeah but but I do worry that like if they do come back and I get them I'm gonna be like I don't think about gushers I don't think I can eat it now I don't like the way I don't like the way you said that I like I like what you're doing here let me ask you question are you high now no no no this is normal okay oh cool this is baseline god internet potato you're you're one in a million man yeah I uh you know what again my ruling is like just keep it in the dark nothing about this is normal or besides telling us don't tell anybody If you catch wind of them coming back, email us.

Yeah, let us know. This is a safe space. Let us, this is a safe space. Let us know if it does come back, please update us on like, is it the same? Because it's been five years now, right, since you've done this? Oh, yeah. I bet you're going to blow your load. He's going to, if 3D Doritos comes back.

It's going to be insane. You're going to fill it with something else. It'll really be gushing. Yep. Yep. Something. All right. This guy.

Jordan carry on and next time they come back yeah let us know yeah let us know all right maybe we'll try it we're not trying it we're not trying we don't have to say

chewing I knew Nick would be into it he's taking his shoe off right now have you ever have you ever tried it you stole it frost too exactly have you ever tried it squishing with your foot like a grain like making good wine

Get him out of here. Nick's got feet. If you need a foot, Nick's got a foot. Throw him out of the court. Thank you for your submission. Oh my God. Hit this with a sting. We have time for a couple more.

This is one that I'm curious to see if they'll show their face because we heard about the blob Redux. Very curious about this next one. Jerry, who emailed in, Jerry W, are you here? Will you make yourself present? Reveal yourself, please. There's just some tomatoes, I think, is Jerry. Is it a 70-year-old man?

What? Oh, 70-year-old. Oh, I thought you said seven. Yeah. Jerry. Hello? Hello? Oh, it's Jerry.

Hey, Jerry. Are you ready to throw yourself at the mercy of the court? I'm still ready. Okay. Wonderful. I like the enthusiasm. Now, Jerry, this was you messaging us about the grapes. Is that correct?

Yes. That was me, the grape of submission. Okay. Now, can you explain what you do with these grapes? I think you should read what he wrote. Do you want me to just read it? I can read it for you, Jerry. It's poetry, honestly.

I think you should do that I wrote. He put the effort in. He did. Let's hear it. Let's hear the submission. My mighty lords and Eric. Okay. I come before you as but a humble bug seeking absolution.

When I eat grapes, I find just eating them as normal to be unsatisfying. In order to elevate the experience, I've discovered a wonderful little trick. Fill thy mouth, grape by grape, until there are many grapes. Whole. Do not chew. That's in all caps. Allow the grapes to sit in your mouth for as long as possible. The longer, the better. Many minutes, if you can, waiting is key. Key.

Because the anticipation must build. Roll them around, suck on them, but do not chew. Eventually, once you feel that you have built the anticipation up to the absolute max, finally take a bite. The immediate burst of flavor and juice from the grape will be utterly euphoric. This flow of delight was only made possible by the delayed gratification you have created for yourself. Your patience now rewarded You may enjoy a mouthful of grapes

Before repeating the process This is my practice I encourage you to try I accept your judgment Sincerely your obedient servant Jerry All right no obedient No let me ask you

Jerry When you're doing this How hard are you Because what you're describing is edging He's grape gooning This guy edge is great He's great

You're edging grieves I think you've only interpreted it that way because that's where your mind is. Well, I think a lot of it has to do with what you wrote and how you wrote it. Yeah, I think that's where you've put my mind with your really, very eloquent email of going, resist the urge. Let the temptation build. Roll them around in your mouth is fucking crazy. It's like you're sucking yourself off.

But with courage. Have you seen the crow in his cool jacket? Oh, man. Oh, yeah. It's the grape gooner, maybe. How many, if you had to guess, what's your capacity? How many grapes? How many grapes you stuff in that mall?

How many grapes you kick it into that hole? I mean, we got to clarify here. It's not about maximizing grapes. Right, that's what I'm asking. Like a good, a good six or seven is what you is all you need. Right, because what, no. That's a lot. No.

That's not so many. And I understand because you need, you can't put more than six or seven, otherwise you won't have room to roll them around in your mouth. Yeah. You got to leave room for traffic. You got to let it breathe. You got to let it breathe. Six, seven.

Man, that is, that's so many grapes. Have you ever? Six, seven grapes is not so many. How tiny is your mouth? I think that's a lot of grapes. It's three grapes. Fifteen's a lot of grapes. 15's a lot of grapes.

Now, I can put 20 grapes in my mouth right now. Don't tell me six or seven's a lot of grapes. Now, I don't know. I could deep throw up the fuck out of a whole fucking, what is it, vine? What is a bushel? It's a vine. A vine of grape?

Yeah. I could stick that whole thing in my fucking gob. Now, Jerry, have you seen our previous food courts with Bertie in the way that she eats food? Oh, absolutely. It's crazy, you know? Okay. All right. Oh, that's interesting.

Well, no, he eventually choose. Right, right. So have you accidentally... When he cannot take it anymore, he's about to burst, he choose. Oh, the release of juices. Have you ever accidentally swallowed a grape? Never swalleled. I'm smarter than that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you sound like a real genius. Do you wear protection? When you do this? I'm very safe at my grape site. Thank you. Okay, that's what we want, we want, that's what we want to push here. Educationality first. You want to be safe.

Now, when you're doing, like, is this like the way you eat grapes all the time? Like when you're having grapes, you're just like, it's grape time and like you're doing six or seven grapes? Well, look, this is the preferred. way to eat grapes, but it's kind of hard to stuff six and seven grapes in your mouth when you're like you're around friends. So those I usually just do one at a time, but I'm still doing it quietly. Okay, okay, okay, okay. But

have you done it around friends? In secret? Yeah, in secret, exactly. But have you ever done it around friends at all? Yeah, exactly. Around friends, you know, we're eating grapes. I'm just not talking. I'm just hiding right. No, he's being quiet for several minutes. It's like when

you're riding home. Jerry, you haven't said anything. It's like when you're riding home from school on the bus and you get hard and you don't want people to know you're just hard on the bus. You're grape gooning around your friends? So it's just like, look, if there's a bushel of grapes, Jerry's gonna goon. You know what I mean? This is also a science. What do you call it?

I call it gradual grape gratification. Oh, the triple G. You're definitely coming. Purple G. Gradual grape gratification. You dealing with purple grapes, green grapes? Oh, green grapes, usually. Yeah, those are preferred.

Okay, those are preferred. Have you had a vasectomy? I don't see the relevance, frankly. Hey, great answer. Great answer. Great answer. I'm going blind from grape coming. Have you tried to turn others onto this?

I've brought it up to a few people but honestly this is this is the largest forum I've ever even considered being in a lot yeah yeah I mean I can't imagine any other podcast in the world wants to hear about your now now when you grapegoon to friends when you mention it do you kind of slyly mention like oh you know Graves are like just kidding just kidding just kidding unless you can you can you can like ease them into it you know you can ask them like

you know have they ever had it Yeah, yeah, a couple grapes at a time You know, you don't have to, we'd have to be as eloquent As you gotta let their mouth get wet a little bit Yeah, you can feel like, before you start shoving more grapes Yeah, I'll be like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, don't chew it just yet Just give it a few seconds, see how I feel Okay

Okay Okay Jerry, I love you This is great This is It's definitely great content People like grapes, man. People like grapes, dogs hate grapes.

Dogs. They should put that on a surf. That's you. We should. Eric is losing it. He's hugging the microphone. I'm just thinking about this guy eating grapes and going to his friend. Hey, hey, hey, he has a name.

It's Jerry. Jerry is talking to his friend and going, okay. And now just get two more in there and just roll them around. Don't bite them. Don't you dare chew yet. Don't bite, don't bite. No teeth yet, no teeth. I love it.

I think there's nothing wrong with rolling seven grapes around in your mouth. You guys are taking this to a dirty place. Nick just said he wants to try it. Let's try it, not sexually. It's a barrier of entry is so low. You guys could have been doing this right now. I know. Well, we don't have grapes.

Yeah. Why do you think I've been so quiet? Oh, Jordan. That would have been a great reveal. Show me under your robe. You got a bag of crater? I don't need to. All right.

What is the ruling for Jerry? I mean, Jerry, you have to recognize, and I think part of you does that this is not a normal way. It's not a normal way. To eat grapes. And it's certainly not a, it's not a not normal way. like it's not totally crazy

it's not totally crazy but it's not normal but it's a little sexual well the thing is if you take it for what it is like on paper I'm putting a bunch of red the paper I'm putting a bunch of no no no no not his paper a factual piece of paper

Jerry's taking six seven grapes putting them in his mouth sucking on him a little bit and then eating them it's the way he's describing it is that how you feel every time you eat it Is it like, is it building anticipation? Yeah, when you say when you can,

yeah, when you can't take it any longer and the euphoria builds too much, then and only then you make bite the grape and experience ecstasy. Oh, I'm going to grade. Is that, the explanation is the thing that really makes it stand out. Oh, I'm going to chew. I just think it's important to be passionate about your food. You're very passionate.

He's a very passionate grape eater. I'm about to make some smuckers. Jelly. Don't. Don't touch me. I mean my cream. I'm sensitive. I'm sensitive.

I'm sensitive. I just swallowed the grapes. I'm sensitive. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop. Oh my God. Well, uh, ruling for Jerry boys? Grap on.

Yeah! I guess so. Yeah, Jerry, Jerry, thank you for coming to food court. Get your grape on. Thank you, gentlemen. It's been a pleasure. Thank you. I'm sure you are the pleasure.

Yeah, the pleasure was all yours. He just got off the call, turned his head, and was like, Now where are you at, little lady? It was a bag of grapes. It's a bagged grave. Time to get down to business. Hit us with a neck. Holy shit, that was nuts.

Guys, I think that's the one to end on. Thank you so much. If we didn't get to yours today from your submissions, you can always submit later. And that's at patreon.com slash 100% eat where you get a priority submission. Unless you are internet potato, that is a rarity where we will take an email

from a non-subscriber because that is freak mode. We have heard so much. The return of the blob, a retrial. It's Bloblight. Jerry's grapes. Just so much happening here. How are you guys? feeling about the first food court on our new set and our new space.

I think it went great. I think we should turn the AAC on sooner next time. I agree. But other than that, other than that, is good. I'm really happy with it. I got new sunglasses. I got a new haircut. We're feeling like $1 million. I think justice was definitely served, but I was surprised by the justice that was dispensed today. I got to say I am too. You guys were very understanding and there were some. I was and then Jordan just went okay. If Michael says so, he wasn't that understanding. You were very impassioned with the cottage cheese.

I was impassioned with the cottage cheese, and the grape thing, I will say, it's really, he makes it a thousand times worse the way he describes it. He could just say, I like putting six grapes in my mouth at once and eating them. And not going, ah, and then when the temptations, when you finally can't take it anymore and you're about to burst by the grape. It was that. Yeah. That's what kind of calls attention to it. But that's, hey, I do appreciate, though, for most of the people here, though, with their crazy, crazy freak things. like, oh, I don't tell anybody about this.

Yeah. Because a lot of times, it's a lot of times people going, it's not weird. And let me tell you why. And it's fucking weird. And it's fucking weird. Well, that'll do it for food court. Thank you for watching.

Patreon. Don't worry. Do you. 100% eat. Flew by. Don't worry, though. With our new set, we can dispense justice much more free. We are going to dispense justice more frequently.

Let us know if you guys like the new food court set up. You like Eric being down lower than us. Should he be lower? He should be... Well, he can't get lower, but we can get higher. What? You did say we had a lot of headroom. What do you mean?

What? I mean, our chairs can go up and the table will go up. Right. Is it plugged in? Oh, this thing never... Well, it is. Wait, it went down, but not up? Yeah.

Oh, good. You guys can come down with me then. We got a way to end food court. Incredible. The up doesn't work. Yeah, we'll see you next time. Bye! I'm crushing my legs, but it's making me come!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!