100% Eat - The HOTTEST Chicken Ever? %% Panda Express Dynamite Sweet and Sour Chicken

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

Our Heroes are dropping Panda Express to see if this chicken is as hot as they say. It actually might be? It's certainly not very sweet and it's definitely not sour. Check out these balloon animals and Final Fantasy talk. We're all over the place but it's GREAT! Stop eating Panda Express 2 days in a row. We're watching THE BEE KEEPER Wednesday March 25 @ 6pm CT with YOU. Go to Patreon.com/100percenteat to get access to the discord and join the hive. New beanie, new magnet, & NEW SHIRT this FRIDAY! https://100percenteat.store Also grab an autograph from Our Heroes https://streamily.com/100-percent-eat Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every Friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Terribly! Welcome to... Singing the wrong song, too. I mean, gave you a hop. Welcome to 100% eat the show. We're a trivary faster, residential, a living in a restaurant, a lady, manate. You probably do.

I'm yours, Michael Jones, John, so weird. Jordan, how are you? Hot. I was making up for the last time. Yeah. Yeah, a little hot. A little sweaty in the midst of this one. Which is nice, because today is, like,

the last cool day before it's back up to 195 degrees. Yeah, we were talking about the weather. I mean... Guys, it's Mark. Okay, so it's upon us. It's totally natural for it to hit 90 degrees and then 40 degrees the next day and then back to 90 years.

You know what else is upon us? No! Pinched him again. Virtual pinch. You got me. You can't pitch him. He's wearing greens. Show the people you're green, Nick. If you squit. That's why I wore it.

Here's the thing. That's if it was a defense, that's one thing. But then he said, that's why I wore it. That's what's crazy. Yeah. That's the greenest thing you have. On the way out. On the way.

On the out of your house. What does that mean? I don't have a jacket that's green. Yeah. But it wasn't on the way out. Okay. It wasn't on the way out. I liked your jacket today.

Thank you. It wasn't green, but it was cool. Said Coors Light. Isn't it like a bomber jacket? Yeah. Like a silver like. It's like you're in the club. Yeah.

He's not, but it looks like it. It looks like I'm a middle relief for for like a bad 80s baseball team. Definitely like a cool-looking jacket that when maybe it would be different if someone else was wearing it. But watching Eric wear it is like, I'm included, I'm included. And me too. They, uh, it has, the inside is lined. They had a mascot that was like a beer wolf.

He's like a wear, like a party werewolf. Whoa. Yeah. And so it's like, it's lined with like now. And now it's just the CEO of course. Exactly. That's what I was going to say is that it was really cool when things had mascots for a long time. Like the like Spuds McKenzie.

or whatever. There was like a party dog who drank beer and then like the camel who smoked cigarettes and Joe Camel. Yeah. All that stuff and like cool spot for like seven up or whatever. Yeah, great game. Mascots really did like a lot of heavy lifting and we've talked about it. But now it's just, well, we'll film our CEO being a human and it's like they're not. Don't do this. It did seem like it was a subconscious thing. But Burger King had a commercial during the Oscars where they mentioned where they They've gone wrong. Really? Part of it was making... Part of it was like the creepy king.

Yeah. So we got rid of that guy. Oh. I thought the creepy king was great. But it's the CEO talking. And so it's like... Creepy King was like, now I'm in charge. I'm the mascot.

I didn't not eat at Burger King because of the creepy king. The creepy thing is the only thing I liked about it. Me too. I had... I went to Burger King to get those games. I got all of them. Me too. I got all those games.

Sneaking was hard, dude. Yeah, and like you would go and you get a 99-cent radio burger and then Sneak King. But I would go and get, I think it was like four games, Xbox 360 games. Got them all. I got them all. They had a car racer. This commercial was basically like, you know, like, you guys, you guys have let us know that like we've been bad for a while. Yeah, it's not the mascot.

Your food tastes bad. And then they were like, here's how we're going to like make our food now. And also like, you are the Burger King. You're the king here. You're in charge. And it's like they, that's already their thing, though. That's the most cool thing. Have it your way.

That's the most consulting for, they paid a consultant $1.8 million for that. They wish it was. They'll do anything but change their food. And here's the other thing. Now, maybe not every CEO, but I would argue probably most. Certainly not.

Our CEO. I would argue. Never. Well, yes. Wait a little. I'm going. You're also replacing mask us with CEO. And CEOs unfortunately equates to also white guy.

Yes. They're the same guy. They're all just same white guy. So it's not just CEO. It's CEO white guy. I saw. I'm eating the product. And then it's like other people like, huh,

McDonald's, he's a bitch. I'm a different white guy. Yeah. Watch me eat the product. I did see a twist on that when I was scrolling TikTok and I saw a white guy. who was the CEO of a fast food restaurant, P. Terry's this time. Oh, yeah.

Their twist on it was pretty funny. He was saying, like, he had, like, the food laid out, and he's just like, his name is Patrick Terry. He is the P. Terry, and he's like, I literally eat this food every day.

I'm not very comfortable with eating on camera, so I'm going to enjoy my lunch on my own. But if you want to have lunch with me, like drop your name, and I'll pick 10 people. And you can hang out, you can hang out with Patrick. Terry. Now, I like that idea

and I want to do that. However. But is that going to be in a direct conflict when Wendy's hires us? No. You don't think it's... As long as Wendy's nose, we're clear. Okay. We're going to shit on you, but we're going to shit on everyone else too. Yeah. But you're going to be only ones paying. I mean, I mean, we could use it to our advantage. We can get trade secrets from Patrick Terry.

Oh, we can like steal. Yeah. We can also... Nick will distract him. I'll sneak in the back. Okay, cool. Where the vault is. Uh-huh. I'm sure. The one, the P. Terry is the one on airport or whatever, or the one off 35 next to that target. Yeah, the really small one.

Yeah. Terry Treasury. That one's probably underground. Uh-huh. Like all the smart people. Yeah, you'd be running up that hill. And then, uh, you can steal that from P. Terry. Yeah. And we'll take them to Wendy's to be like, this is how you can make your burgers kind of

taste like in and out a little bit. And then Wendy's will go. Wendy's will go. That's great. Then they're going to be a commercial that says, guys, we hear you. We're not changing a fucking thing. Right. But all of the same is like, we don't hear you.

We, we hear them. Yeah, yeah. And then it's us and the camera just looks over and it's us waving. But here's no update on that yet, by the way. Not yours, I did submit. Just wait. It was clearly, we did that video about five minutes long. I went to submit it and upload it.

I believe the file size was like, 15. 500 megabytes? Yeah. 50 megabyte limit on the upload. They clearly wanted vertical video 30 seconds from an influencer. We need time to tell you our story. Yeah. We've the legend.

Right. Yeah. Thank you. We're already working for you and you're not even paying us here. I had an export in some stupid file. Oh, hell yet. All right. I was not going to cut it.

I was not going to cut it. I was not going to read. I agree to me. I was like, guys, we do this for a living. Yeah. It was like eight and six three. Excellent. Excellent.

They're going to get that video and go, what the fuck? Why is it letterboxed and pillar box? I think they're going to be like, eh. Why are they telling? telling me that this is a file format just for my LG chocolate phone. They're gonna say all of this is off-putting. Opening on a computer not compatible, only compatible on your stuff. It says I have to download real player to watch this.

I need my sidekick. Let me just open my Excel spreadsheet. We could just send them a link to blip. Yeah, yeah. Not anymore, I don't think. Oh, no. Watch this on Justin TV. Here's the thing.

That may be off-putting. They are gonna like, yeah, just, overall whiteness of both the sets, the lives. Right, exactly. The whole situation. The other thing is you talk about stealing trade secrets and bringing them to Wendy's, we do that.

But also as we do that, we then go back to the place we stole from and we say, look, we're not asking for permission, we're asking for forgiveness. You could pay us more than Wendy's. Yeah. Yeah. See what we'll steal them back.

See what we just did? We'll sabotage. That's the service we offer. We'll change what we gave them. It's kind of like. like, you know, when, when, like, the government, like the FBI catches like a hacker. Oh, yeah. We'll work for us.

We are revolver office slot. We're just trimp-crossing them the whole time. Yes, we are. We are all revolver. I really like. Pretend to be possessed by an arm of another man. But then, just kidding. I was kidding.

Yeah. I really like that. I like the idea of being double agents, but being very like. Double, triple, I don't know. Fast food wars, baby. And we're at the center of it. We are at the center of it. We are the secret agent.

But then will, will we have a civil fast food war or two of us fight? two of us. I feel like it's pinchers versus pinched. Oh no. I have to be on the monkeys team. You get inside. Sorry. Yeah, you're definitely in it. And then we're just we're just beating up on you like Bucky and

Captain America. And if we've learned anything, we can kill Nick. Yeah. And as we learn through like shows at rooster teeth, anyone could just put them out. Anyone can just put it on. It doesn't matter. We just get Joe. Just like what I ever put it on. You know, who cares?

That's him. Just get Joe. No. No, we can just do that too. Yeah. Just cover his Asian hands. Why does the Suss Monkey wear gloves now? Don't worry about it. He's not Asian, he's Korean. I saw him to do that with tickle him.

That was trying to figure that. We were talking about that with cotton. Like, yeah, King of the Hill. It's like the demonstration of like the regular ignorant racist. Yeah, yeah. Like his neighbors are just like, Lay Ocean. Yeah.

What's that? Are you Chinese or Japanese? Yeah. We're Leocean. And then Cotton coming. Cotton coming over. I know exactly. You're Lae Ocean, ain't you, Mr. Con? I'm like, oh, this is, whoa, whoa.

That's the very, that's when it comes around to being a very concerning type of racism. Like, he knows too much. So that's good. So that's our next sauce monkey. We've got to plan for it. Yeah. And the thing is like, I always say anyway. I think your next sauce monkey is going to be with the Wendy's.

I know you're Korean. I'm not asking whether you're north or south. Yeah. It's not my business. Not my business. Well, I see it as one unified thing. Like, they should just come together. I don't ask someone if they're Northern Irish.

I don't. I ask them if they're Protestant. Oh, shit. I go up to them and I say, I don't see borders. And they're not happy with me at all. As long as I have eight or nine kids. What now? As long as there's eight or nine little ginger.

Uh-huh. Okay, I see. Jesus Christ. Hey, what do we eat today? I don't know. What? It was, it was, uh, the weak.

Nice. Panda Express, dynamite, sweet and sour chicken. Was, uh, it was sweet and sour, you say? That is, that is what supposed to.

Dynamite. I just thought it was dynamite. Pow! It, uh, how do you like me now? A lot of cake. Pinky value it over 300,000. Oh,

nice. Luda. Uh, the, the sweet and sour when I saw, this at first, I was a little off put by, because I don't... Walk us through it. I don't... What were your concerns?

The flavor profile of this is going to be the spiciest thing we've ever made. And it's also going to be sweet. It is. And it's also going to be sour. Well, don't worry, because it's not. Oh, yeah. I got spicy and sweet. Yeah. I didn't get much sour. Not at all. I didn't know it was, I just thought it was dynamite chicken. Yeah. I didn't know it was supposed to be sweet and sour. The five pieces of chicken that I had, they were, they were pretty spicy. You got five? Yeah, dude. It was like four. Yeah, I got short change. I don't know how many I got because I got a double on that.

I had to stop because it builds. Yeah. Yeah. We waited. That's the longest I've ever spent inside of a Panda Express, I think. Oh, you haven't lived. You spent a lot of time. Yeah, sometimes I go, I don't even order anything.

You just sit down, sit down with the servicemen and you just, you sit down at their table and you go, thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. The whole meal. I thought about enlisting. Yeah. And then I wait, and I wait, and I wait and I go, you turn to thank me. Yeah. Oh, oh, I'm a podcast.

Right. Maybe you didn't know. Maybe you couldn't tell. Yeah. That's where part of the flag. The flag. Yeah. Have you seen Ridge quit?

Hello. You know they have. In the military? You know they have. A lot of people watch that. Dude, people in the military are screaming, let's play now. Yeah.

I mean, that was their brain rot. Yeah. Now it's actual brain rot. But yeah. Then it's the Charlie, Charlie Kirkie song. I'll, They're not singing that in the military. They are.

They're 18 and they're singing Charlie, Charlie Kirk. The kids who future military careers are singing it now, they're going to bring it into the military. That's going to be when Gen Alpha hits. Yeah. Oh. You know, all the other countries were invading. Your kids signed up for the military?

You don't know that yet. Yeah. Not on my wife. Did not your father serve? Yeah. Right. So. Right.

Do you want to keep that U.S. Do you want to keep that USA insurance or don't? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm set for life. What about your son? He needs reasonable operation. He's going to have the progressive thing. Guilty.

How does that go forever? How does that? Guilty by us. USA. It's until your grandchildren. Real? Like forever? So you'd be like 10 generations down the line?

No. No. Because it's all, it goes down to your grandchildren. Oh. Oh, that's all of our ass? They say it's a commercial. That's what Grunk says all the time.

I see. Okay. I thought you mispronounced Grock. I thought I forgot that Gronk was a guy. Yeah. Wow. He does those commercials? Yeah.

The thing with, he's always Clearly reading a Q card. No, no, no. Well, he's not reading Q card. He's saying sounds back that someone just told him to say. You guys don't know him like I do. I worked with it.

That's right. Wasn't Chad Ocho Cinco there as well? Yes, he was. Yep. Taged him. Changed his name to that. I always thought was really cool. Yeah.

Put it on the back of the jersey and then got fined. So next season, he changed his name to Ocho Cinco. That's awesome. Yeah. That's crazy. That's awesome. Along with everything he does.

Absolutely. I remember Terrell Owens being like, that's not even like good Spanish. No. That's not how you say. 8.5 is not Ocho Cinco. That's just 8.5. That's cool.

I got no problem with it. And he changed his name to it. It's great. So you hung out with that guy. I was existing in a similar space. That's awesome. I don't endorse. Eric kept saying get his number, get his number.

It's 8.5. You just keep typing. It's like, dude, he picks up. Gronk is big. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's shockingly, like, like, it's like, it's, like, these guys that are, the guys that are like, tight ends in the NFL are like inhumanly large.

And like, well, and the thing too is like, obviously he must like eat constantly, work out a ton or whatever. Yeah. But like, you know, he, he didn't like get that big. He's that big. Yes. And then built upon it. But just like, the man was born to be that.

And it was just like, Jesus Christ. It's like, he's like a moving wall. Yeah. See like 6, 5, 6, 6, something like that? It's beyond, probably. But it's beyond like, he's just up there. I mean, when you're that tall, yeah. Right, I imagine it's, he could have been 10 feet for a, we know.

He could have been 6 feet. He could have been 8 feet. He's just like way up there. You know why too? Because he's a, he's like, he's a tall guy. But you can be a tall guy also. If you go to 100% ETH store and you get the tall shirt. We should.

I'll call him. Yeah. Hey, bud, it's me. Yeah. Can you do us a silent and wear. this tall guy. Wear this tall shirt. You'd be a tall guy. And then he was like, short thing, Michael, I'll also send on to my buddy, Chaddo Chosinko.

Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. No discounts. Please buy it. Yeah. I was thinking maybe like Tom Brady. Tom Brady could do it. But you have to be careful. You have to be careful. He kisses his sons on the lips. That's fine. He, uh, for him to do. I feel like, I feel like Tom Brady wouldn't get it and like, be like, what are I in? If I wear this, but I am tall. Look, I don't know. What am I saying with the shirt?

Either way, if you should or shouldn't be kissing your sons on the lips, dodged a bullet didn't have any, so. Smart. Nick, thoughts? I think. Not the lips. Not the. Smart.

Dude, our flowers, they're not lasting. They're having a tough time. It's been two weeks. They might be done for it. Well, I think they're mirroring Evans feelings towards us. Oh, he's sour on us. He said, oh, I see really how the sausage is made. I think what's happening is he's realizing that, why did I spend $10,000?

$10,001. I'm actually real mad now and I hate them and I hate them. He can go back for 15. He's coming out for 15. Everyone else is 20. Everyone else is 20. He's been having fun

and the Discord is like the videos. We didn't include that. He shouldn't be allowed to do that. That was not part of the offer. No fun. No fun. Okay. I'll tell him he's not allowed to have fun.

Let's slide for now. What do we do if somebody takes up the $20,000? We do what we did last time. We do it again? Yeah. Why wouldn't we? Or I feel like... Or we do our million dollar deal?

Yeah? Which we should figure out. Oh, okay. I like that. I like that. There's some legal hurdle. I know that's what I said. We gotta.

Okay. We got to talk to a lawyer about that. Hey, what if we just don't tell anyone? We got to talk to a loyal. We can't talk to a lawyer about that. Yeah. For sure. We won't film it.

Yeah, we just won't. And we won't film this. Then no one will even know if it happened or not. Yep. When the, when our timer dies, what do you think happens? I'll plug it in. He'll plug it in. I don't figure it on.

Chargers gone. Hmm. I'll get you on. Why? Who took, who took? I mean, I may have moved this somewhere. Why? He's screaming from the other room.

He's, he's rummaging around balloon alley. He's got two TVs out there. Yeah, he's rummaging around balloon. He's looking for through balloon alley to see if he can find a charger. Balloon alley. There sure are a lot of balloons. Thank you. It's a, it is a balloon.

It's a balloon fiasco out there. I'll tell you this. We, on the Michael Drorn podcast. Yeah. Michael, you know, he had just learned, just acquired the balloons and did a couple of rudimentary shapes and stuff. Not even a week later. Look at this. Look at this.

I knew exactly that this was going to happen too. I was like, I bet in three days you'll be making. I got plans. Yeah. Clown college, right? No, you were saying. Secondary career. You were saying that sometimes they will just explode.

Yeah. Yeah. It would be. If I'm just like in the house. Yeah. And I just hear, it sounds, especially downstairs because it's so echoey because, you know, the ceilings are 40 feet tall. Yeah. And it's a bunch of tile.

He slammed that defiantly, almost like, like, look. And that one wasn't made, so I don't know. Eric. Did somebody bike us? It sounds like a gunshot. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, remember when you popped one right in his ear?

Oh, I remember. Do you think that sounded like a gunshot or was it was it? It was concussive like a gunshot. But at least, but it's still like, I'm not saying it wouldn't hurt any less. But you're not that surprised if someone's pointing a gun in your. your face and then gun goes off. I was supposed to do a gun going off in the other room that you didn't know was there.

Right. And when you're like, well, I'm the only one here, why is the gun going on? Right. I'm not shooting someone. Or am I? With the dog. We, uh, Alfredo and I did a podcast here the other day because we streamed again from here. So we did the podcast beforehand and I made him sword and dog.

Awesome. And he literally was just like, Hey, yeah. Oh, he turned into Gracie. He turned into Gracie. Straight up. It was crazy. I was a little worried. I was like, we're about to do like a five-hour stream.

Yeah. Fucking pull yourself together. Yeah. Is that for Resident Evil? Yeah. Did you guys beat it yet? No. Are you taking your time?

I did. Yeah, I'm taking my time. I've only played it twice on stream. I haven't touched it outside the stream. So I'm fresh. I was not gonna Nick about this earlier. It just seems like the last like three things Resident Evil's release has been like pretty good. Yeah.

Between Village, the four remake and this. Yeah. Dude, even every, everything they've released has been good shy of like three. And it was good. They just kind of botched it a little bit. by cutting out content and making it too short. I would say the short thing isn't like a botch. It's just like, why did you not include it?

Why did you not include this stuff from the game? The only like shit is they fucked up nemesis. Yeah, made that weird. I agree. But, dude, ever since the two remake, yep, it's been hits. They figured it out. They got their fucking shit together, but they did it.

It's really good. Well, because I guess, oh, I guess actually even seven came out before the two remake. Yeah. Yeah, it was like seven. Seven was great coming off a six, which is fucking soft shit. So bad. The Goon Monster sucked.

Yeah. I agree. But like to bring it back, like that seemed like a series going the way of Final Fantasy, which just kind of sucks. Yeah. They brought it back with Seven and it's just been all killer, man. Was there, has there been a Final Fantasy 16? Has that come out? No, 15 was last one. And then that was the boy band one, right? Yeah. Yes. Oh, no, no, no. You're right. 16 did come out.

See? No, you're right. 16 came out and it's not at all Final Fantasy in any way, shape, or form. But people said it's pretty good. it's just like weird giant monster stuff I don't know it's very strange I tried to play 15 I don't play a lot of Final Fantasy games

but I tried 15 and I was just like It's just like boy band driving cars I don't think I got through the prologue Yeah I did not get very far in it I was just like I just don't think this one's for me And then like dude That was like the biggest fan in the world

Up till about 10 Yeah I was huge I think it was huge when I was in high school Like pretty much everyone was a hit From seven onward People were like You gotta play this game Well because also

in America we didn't have a bunch of those earlier ones and I was too young I didn't play it on the Super Nintendo so like seven got me into it so I had like eight nine and ten while also going back and playing one two three four five two suck but other than that and so it was just like every single one is great and then 11 came out it was good because it was an MMO

and 12 came out I didn't like it because it's a single player game that pretends to be an MMO yeah I was like what the 13 came out and it's a trilogy what yeah a lot of big mess well there's also 10 too don't forget yeah 102. Dog shit. Premise.

Yeah. Very fun game. What you mean? You go, well, see Riku perform with Unileaska. Hell yeah.

No, that's just Units. Was it a continuation? She's named after Unileaska. That's right. Was it a continuation? Or was it just like the same universe?

No, it was a continuation. New story. You corrected me. I looked at Nick and he went like this. Lydia Unleska. Close his eyes. Big smile. Big nod.

Just so you know. Let's talk about how, how we ended up at Panda Express real quick. because... Hi, dude, I don't even know. Well, we were talking yesterday. Uh-huh.

Suddenly, there's like a slew of options. There will be a Patreon poll that's probably already up. I posted two last night. Yeah, and like Nick was posted a whole bunch. And then one more like this morning? I did. Oh, I guess I did. Did you not post one this morning?

He didn't say dipsy do. Jesus Christ. There's a lot of things. But there were like three choices on the table. That felt like these are the ones that we should probably cover. Yeah. And I feel like I wasn't quick enough to the conversation. Yeah.

It was like, what should we do? Michael chimed in and, and was like, oh, we could do like one of these ones. You gave me two options. As I was replying. And then the Panda Express one got thrown. And then so you had sent the message that was like, I'm okay with like either one. And then you were like, oh, Panda. Yeah.

But then Eric was already like, well, we'll go here. And then I was like, Scraming, I was like, guys, please, let's not. Let's just go to Panda Express. I did not want to go. Jordan wanted to go to Panda Express. Let's just do Panda Express. Let's just do something like this. And then I said, you know what?

It's a little split decision. Let's leave it up to Nick here to make this pick. And then I got mad. Jordan got mad. Michael immediately changed. Right. I was like, I will vote Panda Express if it means Nick does not go to vote. Yeah.

This guy's been for weeks now. Like, stop letting Nick pick. And then you were like, no, let's not. I said, let's definitely know. Let's definitely not. And Jordan was like, fuck that. Yeah. And then Nick got mad.

He was like, well, I changed my vote, which would have been pendix. Yeah. Nick started going, I would have voted for the right thing. But now I'm changing my vote to a different thing. And it's like, well, this doesn't matter. And he's like, right, but I choose. Yeah. Cool.

So that's how we ended up. We were kind of talking about that at the restaurant. And I was like, Nick was like mocking me. He was like, man, just not letting him. Right. Because you wanted me to pick your meal today. And Eric was like, I was joking. We're all getting the same thing.

We were like, Nick will order for me. We were all in line. And I went, you guys order what you want to get, but make sure one of your orders is this dynamite sweet and sour chicken. How interesting. And then. What is interesting about that? I don't want to order.

Nick will order for me. That's exactly. That's what Jordan said. And then Nick's like, I'm not going to pick the food. He's like, I'm not picking. I'm not, that's too much pressure and I'm not doing it. Weird how you want me to pick the food now? I don't want you to pick the food.

Eric. Eric, that's what you sound like. I was like, was that me crucifying you, Nick? Crucifying you. I said you sound like an idiot. And I was in the back, just mind my own business. And then, and then there was a beat. And then Nick looked at me who goes,

you want to go in some recordings? I was like, yeah, you look at this range? I'm going to need some backup. Yeah, you want to help me out with some? Hey, it was a playboy. You want to get these? We don't need anyone's help. We asked everyone.

Nobody would help us. Then, not being part of the conversation. I was chilling. You guys didn't get the rangoons. He got the rangoons. Nick flipped when he found out we got the rangoons. That's what he sounded like in the restaurant. That's what it was.

Jesus Christ. Well, happy. Speaking of the restaurant, you guys want to learn about Panda Express? Charlie Jerserling. If it means we stop singing that song, yeah. We're going to keep singing it. You don't need AI agents,

which may sound weird coming from Service Now, the leader in AI agents. The truth is, AI agents need you. Sure, they'll process, predict, even get work done autonomously. But they don't dream, read a room, rally a team, and they certainly don't have shower thoughts,

pivotal hallway chats, or big ideas. People do. And people, when given the best AI platform, they're freed up to do the fulfilling work they want to do. To see how Service Now puts AI to work for people, Visit service now.com. Our last Panda Express episode was on September 17, 2024. Whoa.

That was so long ago. The blazing bourbon chicken. They received an average rating of 70. Zero memory of it. Yeah. I remember this is good chicken. Yeah. That's all I remember.

I think I remember. I remember maybe it wasn't very blazon or bourbon, but it was good. It was good chicken. It definitely wasn't blazing like this shit's blazing. This shit was blazing. It's going to be blazing out of me later. Yeah. Jordan brought that up

and I just hadn't even considered Oh man You had the oh you're right Well now I'm thinking I might just save the leftover chicken for tomorrow Yeah like even it out I don't want to pack even more in there Oh yeah

You could eat it all and then write a Yelp review On the toilet Like like our last you review In the toilet right now Fighting for my life I'm not even opposed to like eating more burning my asshole and writing A Yelp review ever

Yeah period Even if it was good Right Hey, you know how you know the review will be for it's good I'll come back and order it again. Yeah, I'll get, instead of this Yelp thing, I'll give you money.

Yeah, I'll pay you to not Maybe monkey money. Ooh, he got some monkey money. He's on his phone, he's not paying it to you. Yeah, he did. He's working. He got monkey money and he got monkey time. He's working.

I work on my phone and I actually make those the same. He gave me such a side eye just now. He gave you one of these. I'm having fun. Pan Express is collaborating with YouTube channel LoFi Girl to welcome the year of the firehorse with a bit of tranquility.

To further connect with his customers, Panda is integrating its brand and Lunar New Year themes into Fortnite Creative and Roblox Digital Gaming Platforms. Roblox players can join Panda's mascot, Pepe, the Panda. Not the CEO. Who is returning to the platform as a non-player

character in various games, such as carry an egg, which includes a themed obstacle course. Fortnite Creative has integrated PeiPay into the player created game Drive City in which players can receive panda coins that they can give to Pay Pay Pay in exchange for power ups. If you know what any of this means

fuck you. Yeah, I was pretty confused. I was going to say it was like, how does this land? Because I have no idea what we're talking about. I was reading all about it, putting it in this fact sheet. I'm like, so what is? I bet I'll see the Robloon. Oh, you're going to see Pepe pay pay, play carry an egg. I'm going to see pay pay pay singing Charlie, Charlie Kirk. This is a big deal to like a 13 year old.

Yes, yeah, yeah. But it's also, no. Because they're just going to say a fuck about Pandexpress. Right, because that's the thing. It's not a big deal. It's just another, it's a thing. It's a thing to deal with. Yeah, yeah. Unless they're really into Panda Express. Or specifically Pei pay pay.

I don't care about the food. Paype. I didn't know it's name was Pepe. I didn't either. This is I found out. This is, maybe it's pronounced Peepie. Oh. I don't think it is. Oh, okay. Let's have Nick decide. Yeah.

He's on his phone again. Yeah. Now what? Answering the poll! Leave me a law. He's picking Pizza Hut. Fuck. When you're printing the new cross is good.

Playing with the printer. Burger King. He's picking Burger King. No. What else is on there? Pizza Hut coming out with a new Chris. I don't know. Tell us.

You just looked at it. I think I said it's like the house is collapsing. Just put some new drapes in those. Some drapes. I think I said before he mentioned Bandexpress, I mentioned pizza and I was like, we have that pizza and see if the new crust sucks. Yep. It will.

It will. Yeah. I don't need to know. I know. Is it a new? like flavor on a crust or just like they re-did their whole recipe from the ground up on the crust you know like how dominoes did and it worked and you know right that pizza Hut should have done 10 years just copy them crazy right what I mean just like call yourself dominoes we're not gonna do their

do their thing it works yep yeah wild call yourself dominoes in fact sell old pizza huts too dominoes why not that's how you win why not you win I like this one earlier this month Rico Marshall pled guilty to second degree assault, second degree making a terroristic threat, resisting arrest, and misdemeanor disturbing the peace after he attempted to rob a Columbia, Missouri, Panda Express, then used a customer as a human shield when the police arrived. This is the second worst thing that can happen to you at Panda Express, right behind when they're out of the freaking crab rangoons. Am I right, folks? And what's the deal with the orange chicken? It's not orange. It's not chicken. Oh, it is? Well, anyway, that guy got sentenced to 10 years in prison

with no egg roll. You've been a great crowd. Thank you. Wow. Thanks, Dane Cook. They didn't have crab ringings, do they? Do they? Coo crab ringroon?

No, now it is just the cheese. I think it's been that for a long time. It has been for a while. He's mad about it. Crab's expensive. Crab's good. I'm not saying crabs's not good. I don't think anyone was ordering

that's for the crab. It's called Crab Rangoon. I don't eat crab, I don't eat crab, but I know crab is good. Highly sought after food. Highly. The crab, right? It's, it's, it's not fish, it's better than fish.

Yeah. Fis-Fishy-Fish-Fish stink. Yeah. Fis-Fishy-Fishy. Oh, I like that. Um, but what I'm gonna say is I feel like when they had them, it wasn't real crab. No, it's definitely not real crab. It's probably a imitation crab, I imagine.

So. Okay. Imitation ring goon. Get to work. Get to work again. I just don't think anyone was going and don't like, they were! He was! He was in the fucking name!

What's the point? I just don't think, I think they're already- saying that people weren't ordering it. I think I'm, I think that the crab rangoon at Pan Express. That specifically. People weren't going going, we got to get, dude, the crab. They want white people. They want the cheese.

They want the cheese and a crispy deal. That's what I want. That's it. Like, I don't think anyone was going. Nick, fuck yeah, dude, the crab here. I would say the best way to get what you want is to stop buying them. You wanted them. Vote with your dollar, Nick.

Yeah. I would say just get them at a real Chinese restaurant. We just won't go again. Probably good. We just won't. Who's not? You told us your wife loves PANB Express. I never vote for Panda Express again.

I'm sorry, hang on. What was that? When she gets it, I get something else. Why? Why? It's so much work. But why, though? You eat Parenthood.

Okay. The principal woman! That's the principal woman. But what it's monkey money. I love their goddamn food. Calling when they get the grab. What is monkey money. I'm boycotting this.

All right, well, we're gonna go to Panda Express. Fine, can I ride with you? you in Munggo Burger Kings. There's the water burger across the street. There's the water burger at the airport. It's been a satellite lot. It's more expensive. It is more expensive.

Let's go to the subway. The gas prices are also insane over there. Is it still expensive outside the airport? I'm talking about the satellite lot. I feel like they shouldn't have airport prices outside the airport. That'd be crazy. They do? Oh, yeah.

If you're in the... I believe you. The sphere of the airport. That's bullshit. Fuck the airport. Well, it's like how they... Any... gas station around the airport jacks up their prices.

Oh, you're returning your rental car? We'll make an extra dollar off of you each gallon. Sucker. Next one. All right, next one. A person with measles went to a San Francisco area Panda Express two days in a row, potentially exposing others to the disease. Bay Area health officials are warning.

Honestly, the most egregious thing here isn't even the measles that's going to Panda Express two days in a row. Like, dude, what is your life all about? Panda Express and then Panda Express again? Have some shame. Also, get vaccinated. But really stop going to Panda so much, bud. Yuck.

Two day, I could not imagine going to Panxpress. I would never go to a day. I would never go to a row. I'm going to McDonald's though. Five fucking weeks in a row. Do you think it was the measles though? Oh, you think the measles made him? That was like a side effect?

Like rabies brain? So you're saying that like the measles gave him the panda crazies. Mm-hmm. Oh. I hadn't considered that. That's probably what tipped off health officials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the Panda Express.

workers were like, we got the same thing out here twice. Health officials are monitoring if people go to Panda Express two days in a row. The Waffle House index. Yep, yep, yep, yeah.

They're not monitoring a lot else right now. No, no, no, no. That's it. They're just, uh, they're making AI videos and they're monitoring who goes to Panda Express two days in a row with the panda crazies. Pay, pay,

pay, baby. Yeah. Oh shit, they know, they know the mascot's name. This person's got a bad. Oh, yeah. That's a fucking red flag. They either play Roblox or they got The panda crazy's coming through.

And the final fact, Panda Express has agreed to pay out $2.45 million to settle a class action lawsuit stemming from a 2023 data breach that allegedly compromised consumer sensitive information. Every time. The company has not admitted any wrongdoing and is issuing the payment to resolve allegations. It's good to see Panda Express taking a cue from Sauce Monkey by essentially saying, no, I was right. Then giving people money while climbing up on the cross and accusing you of crucifying them. Yeah! I mean, they're wrong, but I'm right.

They're wrong. They're wrong. I'm right. Yes. Anyway. Let me just get up here. Why'd you put me up here? Just like yesterday. When you took away my choice.

The. That was tantamount to a crucifixion to him is not letting him pick where we eat. No, no. Just setting it up, taking it away. Just like Christ. Yeah. Hey, Jesus, do you want to eat pizza hut? Too bad!

Get up there. Awesome fan art in the Discord, by the way, of Crucified Monkey. Oh, yeah. Nick loved it. Some great, like, real pencil sketch-looking art and then some put the mask on an Evangelian character. That one was awesome. Put in the mask on things lately.

It's been good. It's been so good. It all started for me with the camel at KFC, and I found that one so upsetting. That one's fucked up looking. I was so happy putting that mask on... When we went to KFC and you put the monkey mask on the camera. Remember it's...

Oh, yeah. Colonel Sanders riding the camel and I put the monkey mask there. It was so, like, unsettling. It looked fucked up looking. Yeah, I think that was... That's what idea, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were...

Because I was like, I'll put it on the kernel. I was like, yeah, you should make the camel. And Nick was like, you make it the camel. It was a great idea. Yep. The, another one... Your Nick pick. you can get down. Success. You can get down now.

Climb off that cross, buddy. I might need a hand. You've just been hanging on to it. You're not even knowing, no one, don't put you up there. You need two hands. You're just holding on tight. Why if we leave you on the cross but feed you crab rangoons? Like with a stick. Okay. Right.

You take the spear? Yeah. The spear of Longinus. Yeah. We'll take it. Ponce's pilot is stabbing the rangoon and then feeding you. Why, it's like a skewer. Open up. And he would no longer have to be in purgatory. Here comes the plane.

I don't know what that is. Chew-choo! The fuck is that? Chew. Chew, chew. I'm queuing you. Heard? Here comes the...

But man, the fan arts been good. At this time, and this episode comes out, tomorrow... We're announcing, we're shutting down. Tomorrow we're announcing, we're shutting down. It's good to get that ingesting case. During our...

Beekeeper stream at 6 p.m. Central time. We're doing that. On Discord. Really? Yeah. That's real? Yep. We're going to watch it.

We have that. Yep. He's going to watch Beekeeper for the first time. Did you see it? They're going to watch people. The monkey's never seen beekeeper. Wow. Yeah.

Hey. It's better than the crow. It is way better. It can only be. Two say it's better than the crow. I think most things are. I would say it's like a, it's a piece of shit movie. But it's better than the crow,

uh, Madam Webb and. Craven the Hunter. Oh, Combined for sure. Oh, combined? Yeah. For sure. Yes, it's better than all of those combined for sure.

Oh, yeah. Because then it's like 80% Madam Webb's. Yeah. It gets wacky in the right amount and then it goes like, here's what I'll just say early on. Because it's not a spoiler. It's more of just letting you know so you're not let down later. Not enough bees.

No, almost none. I was trying. Are there really hoping you would be killing people with bees throughout the movie? Are there more bees in the Wicker man or this movie. In the Wickerman. For sure. That's crazy. For sure. That's crazy. For sure. Are there more bees in Metal Gear Solid 3 or this movie?

Three, but it might be neck and neck. Okay, okay. Yeah. Not reasonable about it. Bees are doing more damage in Metal Gear. Right. There's a lot of, there's a good amount of B time. There's at the front of the movie. And there's B metaphor throughout. But there's a metaphor throughout. But physical B, somebody stabs. There's some

decent. Somebody. His arm gets ripped out. Buzz, things like that. Things like that for sure. But actual bees, front of the film, and then not in the whole film.

It's just, I was really helping some Batman-like attacking people like. Really thought he was going to be controlling the bees. I'm just putting it out there so you don't kill someone with beat like something. Don't get that out of your head. Okay.

None of that happens. Not of my head. Set your expectations. Other than that. What's that? Goon jacket? That's in there. No, no goon jacket.

Cool jacket. Cool jacket. Be jacket. Two cool jackets in that movie. Okay, okay. B jacket, insane money jacket. That's the one I wanted. Yeah, I couldn't find it.

Could not find insane money jacket. When you see insane money jacket, you will know. And realize we both looked real hard right when we saw that movie. High and low. We went home and searched and searched. Yeah, it was cool. Maybe it'll go up for auction, like the actual props. Maybe it'll be more readily available now that the movies had time to settle.

And they're making a sequel. Buzz, Buzz. Yeah, beekeeper too. Be more. Oh, man. I'm thinking about the movie in general and also the setup at the beginning. I'm just,

I just got shocked because I forgot. Yeah. I'm stoked. I forgot what happened. Do you remember the inciting incident? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, uh-huh. Anyway, I told my wife about that and she went,

what? It was very exciting. I'm so excited for you guys to watch it. I'm stoked for tomorrow. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. So you can sign up patreon.com slash 100% eat to get on the discord. Five bucks gets you.

on the Discord. It also gets you the ad-free version of this show. It also gets you the movie, which probably is more than $5 to watch. You're gonna watch the movie. You will see the movie. We'll just show you. We got the rights. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We talked to Jason Satham and he went, oh, you won't. Yeah, you could have it. Oh, you could show it on your discord?

That's awesome. That's awesome, mate. That's what he said. You don't tell you what he said. Sound of Australian. It's awesome, Mike. Well, he's practicing for another movie. Peaky Blinder's movie's coming out on Friday. Did you know that that was happening? Oh, it's a movie?

Yeah. I thought it was a show. No, it's not like another season. It's just a movie. Yes, I knew it was coming. Is it Thomas fucking Shelby? It's his- well, it's a son. Thomas fucking Shelby Jr.

I see Killian Murphy in all of the trailers and stuff. Is he not actually in it? No, I mean, he might be in it, but I know it's about like his son grown up. It's a Barry Keegan, Kogan, whatever. The weirdo freak guy. Wow. You know way more about this than I do. I do not know that.

I didn't know the plot or anything. I just thought it was going to be another season. Duke movie for me. That's cool. Hell yeah. Yeah. I watched it like a preview. Did Carl die?

I don't think so. Okay. Come on, Carl. He's just always like out back. Carl! Yeah. He's just Carl's outback. This is Carl with a K.

Carl with a K. His mom, very into communism. Marvel Television's Wonder Man. An eight episode series. Now streaming on Disney Plus. A superhero remake. Not exactly what we'd expect from an Oscar winning director. Action!

Simon Williams. Audition for Wonder Man. I'm going to need you to sign this. Assuming you don't have superpowers. I'll never work again if anyone found out. My lips are sealed. Marvel Television's Wonder Man. All eight episodes now streaming.

Only on Disney Plus. Hey, Jordan. Do you all learn about the food? I guess. Yay! Talk more about Piki Bloners. I'm looking at it. Panda Express Dynamite Sweet and Sour Chicken.

Dynamite Sweet and Sire Chicken features Krispy Chicken bites, walk tossed with red bell peppers and onions. Now, vibrant. It's vibrant. Dangy sauce, amped up with Bulldogs' signature fiery heat. Is that an alien or do we know? What do we know of a Bulldog?

I like that you ask, it's not, is it a pepper? Is it an alien? The color of it, alien. Yes. However, I don't think Bulldog is an alien. This comes from Bulldog. alien. Yeah. Okay. Bulldog's signature fiery pepper sauce. From Omicron Sigma. Okay. Thank you, Bulldog. Inspired by the Cantonese classic, this swicy, sweet and spicy.

Parenthetical so stupid. They gotta explain it. Profile hits with a balance tanginess up front, followed by an intense lingering burn. No. No. That cements its status as pain as spiciest dish to date. There's no, there's no tanginess up front. No. It's all spice. It's all spice. It just, oh, it's hot and it's sweet. Oh, wow, it's hot. Oh, it stays hot. And then you eat some rice or some chalman. It's got that sweet panda glaze like this. It is, it tastes very much like Panda Express.

There was someone on like. And Bulldog. What subreddit was it? Was it the Panda Subreddit? It was, it might have been the Panda Express one. This food ruined my life. This guy was like not happy. Yeah.

This guy was not happy about eating this thing. And he's like, it was inedible. It was too hot. I don't agree with that at all. Michael's saving more for later. Yes. This is a regular man. Yeah.

But also, I've got something that I'm not saving. I'm gonna tell you right now. Okay. You are uninformed on Peeky Blinder News because the movie is coming out, followed by a two-season sequel series. What the fuck? That's what I was talking about. Wow. Oh, okay.

That makes sense. So the movie is about like 1950, like World War II Nazi stuff. Cool. And then the series is 1954. Is the guy who's the fascist party of Great Britain there? I don't know. It's exciting. They didn't do well after that.

Yeah, right. The story shifts... They didn't even call it something else. They called it the fascist part. The series is set in 1953, exploring the aftermath of the Birmingham Blitz, featuring a high-stakes competition over the city's reconstruction. The story shifts focused to younger Shelby family members with... That's how you can get in.

Barry Keegan and Isaiah expected to take the lead. Oh, I like this. They get all the... I didn't know they were... For me... You were like, it's a movie, and I was like, wow, I really thought it was a show. I'm so confused. So there's a movie.

And then... a show. Yeah. This show went from like, I don't know, they might not make another one and to me, and I was just like,

I guess, I guess it's gone forever and then suddenly so much stuff. Here's a glut. It was also great as I just watched it. I've never seen it before. You're feasted, maybe.

Well, that's great news. Hey, it's great news. You know what else is great news? Here's some other news. That's this. Quote, our younger guests are looking for a flavor experience that pushes about news.

Roblox. Pay, pay, carry an egg. Said Evelyn Waugh, vice president of brand innovation at Panda Express. Spice has become a global language for Gen Z. What a thing to say.

And by partnering with Bulldog, the alien, we are bringing that playful high energy heat to a beloved American Chinese dish. American? American Chinese. What? This was authentic Chinese.

Dynamite sweet and sour chicken is an explosive and craveable twist on a classic. That kind of dish our guests can't help but share with an addictive heat that keeps them breaching for another bite. Why was they reaching for another bite? I was reaching for a tissue. I was doing that. I don't want to look up.

I don't want to look up what Bulldog is because now it's an alien. I'm really into Bulldog the alien has helped Panda Express create a spicy sauce that appeals to Gen Z. You know Gen Z. You know it's a global language. You know he's a global language.

He's a global language. Well, on his. He's trying to make it universal. Interplanetary spice language. Bulldog. That's not how it works on my planet. Well, we have our review of Bulldogs' delicious dish, but we have to get, we have to hear from you in a segment.

Come on, he's begging. We have to hear from you in a segment we call You Review There are four, I had to include a little bonus one because I like that. What? You had to? I liked it. I liked it. I like it. This first one is quite long. Do you have any guidance? Do you have any guidance? No, I think it can go either way.

But whoever reads the first one should read the last one. Okay. That's how it feels to me. Okay. Should we figure it out, Michael? Yeah, I'll read the first one. Oh, okay, cool. What is this name? I have no idea.

Sarnarian? Yes. I think that's what it's... My eyes are trying to make it in an A. I know. The R and the N makes it look like an M. Okay. Scenarian B.

I'll never understand why Yelp makes you give at least one star. Oh boy. Zero should be an option. If it was, this would definitely qualify. From the time we ordered on the drive-thru, until we got home, we discovered our order. The experience was beyond unpleasant. First, the girl working the day.

drive through was clearly unhappy to be at work and unhappy to be helping us. Maybe she should search other career options because she's doing herself, the customers, and the business, a disservice by working there. Second, we ordered a medium entree of the beef and broccoli. Seven period, dollars, period, and period, 40, period, period, period. Let that sink in. No side. Just the entree.

The box was tiny smaller. than a coffee mug. My husband actually went back to make sure they gave us the right size. They said, quote, some things are tiny. Your husband knows.

Some, period, things, period, are, period, tiny, period. Bouchacha, please. I love when these take a turn all of a sudden. Anyway, some things are tiny.

What does that mean? Bouchacha please. Anyway, see the picture of box for reference. But that's not all. On the way home, it leaked some sort of juice out of the box into my newly cleaned car. That's the bulldog juice. Not period. Happy period. When we got home, we opened the box, which should supposedly serve to. And this is what was in it. Approximately three and a half pieces of beef and some soggy broccoli. Well, that was a waste of $7.40 plus taxes. I could buy a head of broccoli and a piece of beef turkey cheaper than that and have more to eat.

That's right. You could. You're figuring you're figuring this out in real time. That's how they make money. You could have made your own food. But you pay for the convenience. I could have made it myself and I'm more to eat. And to top it all off, my son found a hair in his orange chicken.

I'm so done. Visited on 6.15.18 at 5.25 p.m. Our server was Leslie F according to the receipt. Bouchacha, please. What's it? Wow. I'm tired.

What did, what does, uh-huh, what do they mean by medium order? Because that's not how the sizes work. Nope. No, they, they probably did out plate and, well, no, Alicard. Alicard is, is swimming in March.

I see. That's not how you do it at Pinch. That isn't how you do it. You're dumb. Alacart's expensive as shit. Yeah. It's way cheaper to get it. $7.

It's $7.40. It's $7 and $40. Yeah, I'm letting it sink in. And the broccoli beef ratio is always wrong. Yeah, that's, yes. She could have bought beef jerky in a head of broccoli. Just pure fucking moron at that point. I could have went to the store and bought it cheaper.

If I would have stayed home, I would have saved this money. Yeah, if I had done nothing, this wouldn't have happened. Sorry, Sarnari. I could be the Sarnarian snake Oh That's pretty good You can just You can slither around and say

Stunted things Oh my fucking God, dude She did it three times in this Shut the fuck up Happy When she said it's leaking It's leaking some kind of liquid over my newly clean car I like

It's in a bag It's in a bag But also it has nothing to do with your newly clean No You know what I mean? No Like it's extra offensive because it's clean I don't know

don't be slopping around Pandexpressing. At that point, it's not their fucking problem. Right. It's just, sorry Sarnarian. Ridiculous. Orn-R. Stephanie C. Sir Narwal.

Waited 35 men in the drive-thru. I called because we were trapped and just wanted to leave. I asked if there was an issue since we hadn't moved in such a long time. The lady said she would check on it and just hung up. Food was fine. I'm trapped. Which I get what she's saying You're just like you're waiting in line

But like you could leave You could get out of that situation You're not trapped. I mean if you're bumper to bumper I have been trapped in a drive-through before If there's a curb which It absolutely is possible and it's funny One star Food is fine

It's the best But also like the idea of like The restaurant right I like the idea of just like I don't know I have like three cars best What's going on? What's going on up there? If you really want to say I just want to leave like

just like get out of your car and go like ask the guy up to like pull up. Yeah. I called the rest of them. Help, I'm out there. They're trapping me. They're trapping me. Help. I'm outside. I'm surrounded. And then she hung up on me. What the fuck. If I was right there, I'd be like, I mean,

yeah, you gotta wait until the car is a move. Yeah. We'll get the food when we get to. Hey, hey, you're trapped as in again, say it's a realistic scenario where yes, you're bumper to bumper and you can't get out. What the fuck am I going to do about it? I can't untrap you, ma'am.

All right, we'll get all the pandas out there. Pay Pay, pay, I'll drag your car. Pay, pay, pick that one up. Let me hit the eject button that throws the cars out of the play through. Food is fine. But also, I guess that means they waited and didn't just get out of there.

Uh-huh. It's exactly what that means. They should have zero stars. There was an ending of the story that we didn't hear. Weird. Right. Well, we heard it.

She just didn't know we heard it. Here's Renee M. You're not like this. I'm from Clearwater, Florida. And used to frequent the local Panda Express. And because I love the food there, I decided to try out Kyle's locale, number one. Probably the only one in Kyle, right?

I was treated rudely by the checkout girl, and when I brought the issue to the manager, dot, dot, dot, dot. She really didn't sympathize with my complaint. We ordered $50 worth of food, dot, dot, dot, dot. Sorry, there's so many. I like a lot. There was more rice than entrees, and the quality was not like what I am used to, dot, dot, dot, dot.

Come on, Texas, dot, dot, dot, thought you guys were known for bigger and better, dot, dot, dot, never going to return, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. It's a crying shame, dot, dot, dot, bye, bye, Panda. Hi, excuse me, excuse me, I'm from Clearwater, Florida. And you should know, we do Panda, okay, pretty good. So one again. And the way we do it down there, maybe it's a little different. Again, any, any, the standard, like, Asian restaurant.

Yeah, you get more rice than entre. There's more rice than entre. How that works. like a hundred to one ratio of rice to food. Dude, like I had a hugely of rice and a cup of pieces of meat on top. What's up with that? Surely I had to give me as much meat as rice. I had sushi, you're not going to believe it.

It was a tiny piece of fish wrapped around rice. What's up with that, huh? Why? Then also you're at a fast food chain. You thought it was bigger in Texas. That's not how franchise. What the fuck are you talking about? There's no Texas size that pays up. Also, just so you know, the phrase is everything's bigger in Texas, not

bigger and better. Nope. Yeah. Most things are worse. But you're from Florida, so. Yeah. Yeah. You probably, yeah. You get out of Florida, you're on kind of like a lower level. You leave Florida and you're like, whoa. Yeah. Everything's great. Hey, how come you guys don't do things different at the franchise here?

Yeah. Why is everything the same at all the panda addresses? Now, come on. Dot, dot, dot. It's a crying shame. Bye bye bye Panda. Bye by Panda. Bye, bye, pay. All right, there's a bonus one. All right, I'll read the bonus one. Okay. All right, bonus, short and sweet. Sam and no more vegan options. on their menu. I never ate here. But it's disappointing that they continued the veg orange chicken and other options. Well, if you wanted it, maybe you should have got it, dude.

I don't know what to tell you. One star. Never ate here. One star never ate here, but they got rid of something on the menu. Something that I liked, maybe if I had it. You know what though? That's like Nick. Poor one out for the homies with the 24-hour drive-frews closing.

Sam never ate it. I'm just saying. He was like pissed that the 24 hours are shutting down. He didn't go. But people were like me. Thank you. And maybe the time I might go. Maybe the goddamn time we might go!

Why didn't you keep making Awu? No, I'm not watching it, but why don't you keep making it? Yo, this is like, it's crazy that they're like, dude, the company's fuck's crazy if they're like stop making Awu. I mean, I haven't watched it like 10 years. But I used to, but I used to. Yeah, but when I was 12, dude, this is like my favorite thing. It's like fucked up, dude.

Like, just because it's not doing that well and no one's watching it, they're not going to make it anymore. They changed. Also, I changed. Right, right. That's a microcos. Bro, just because like, Boosterty is shutting down. That's crazy.

You used to watch that every day nine years ago. Hey. I think of you like a brother. Oh, you're my brother? Yeah. No! No! Well, those are your reviews of Panda Express.

But we have our review of Pantin Express, Dynamite Sweet and Sour Chicken. Jordan, start with you. There were rumblings that this was like the spiciest thing they'd ever done. Yes. And spicy for fast. food is a different kind of spicy.

True. So something that would be like, oh, it's got a little tingle. That's pretty spicy for fast food. This is hot. Yeah. This is straight up hot food. It is definitely like the spiciest fast food thing I can remember getting. It did not luckily kill me.

It was, uh, it builds for sure. It does build. And it, like, builds around your mouth and like everything it touches. It is very hot. It's not like back of your throat. Yeah. If it just goes in your mouth, it's hot in your mouth.

Yep. Which is like that's a... You got the hiccups. That's a fine level of spice that I can handle. We don't know that there's a correlation. He got the hiccups. I could have been eating fast. Uh-huh.

We don't know. Uh-huh. Correlation does not equal causation. Right, right, right. Is that when it does. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't. It just happens all the time.

In which case, yeah, you'd be correct. But we don't know. But we don't know. Can't prove it. But yeah, nose is running. Like, it made like, it probably just coated my tongue. it made like the chalmane that I got hot as well.

The whole dish was hot. My tongue was, but I could handle it. It took me to my spice mouse limits. You did well. Yeah. But I think I handled well. Did not ruin my life. At least not yet.

It's going to be, that's going to be bad. But the chicken is, like for sure. It was flavorful. Crispy. Definitely. Crispy.

Bulldog did a little too much with the color. Bulldog made it a color that's only on his world. Yeah, exactly. It's a color that are human eyes don't quite, I can't, yeah. It's I can't quite get it, but Bulldog those nuts in this one. But, besides the color, like,

very crispy, very tasty. I think it's great. I think it's like an 87. Wow. Way up there. It's very good. Pan Express does chicken good. If you know what their chicken is, again, for a fast food American Chinese restaurant, it's real good.

Like, they really never fuck it up. Like, their orange chicken's good. And it's, the The only difference is sometimes it's like, ooh, this is like spicier than usual. I know, because when my kids get it, they're like, ah! They think it's safe and it's like spicy. You're just like weaklings. Yeah, for sure. And I was like, what are you?

Like 10? Bulldog thinks you are pathetic. It was really well made. He's communicating that to me, telepathically. Good crisp. The sauce was good. I like the sweetness. Really no sourness, but I'm, I'm knocking the name.

Yeah, the name makes no sense. It is hot. And again, if you're like a spicy food eater, I'm sure. sure it's fine. If you're like, I don't really eat spicy food, don't get it. Yeah, like, definitely don't. Try, try a piece of your boyfriends when he gets it. If you, if you have the orange chicken and sometimes think it's too spicy, do not order it. Oh my God, don't go near this. You not order it. Oh my God. For them, legitimately, and again, fast food, it is hot. It is hot. That said, it's really good. I'm going to agree exactly with

Jordan 87. Well, 87. What's that average out to? Let me see. Like 70? and say one before. It's an 87. Okay, cool. It's an 87. That's really good. Nick is choking on his. Bulldog is sending Nick signals to choke and die.

Now that the spice is gone. I don't know what's happening. We're talking about it. I'm dying. I'm thinking about it. I'm going, what? I'm going to bite some more out there.

Yeah. I'm going to start the process all over. The heat doesn't, it is really like in the middle of the meal. It's really staying with you. When you're done eating, it lingers a few minutes afterwards. But then it,

But it falls off a cliff and it's like, did I eat something? It does not taste like an ate something spicy earlier. It's not that hot. Exactly. And then you go back and you go, oh. That's, we call that Bulldog scramble. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. We do call it that now. That's what Bulldog is bringing to the human race. He's making things different for us. It's changing the world around us. That's excellent. Yeah, that's he knows. Put it all on vibrant orange.

Put it on like this neon, atomic orange. atomic orange. That's crazy. It's crazy. I got the fried rice. It died my whole fried rice orange.

It was fucking wild. Did you get more fried rice than chicken? I did. Like, surely it was like close to 50-50. Bye-bye panda. Boots. Did you look at it and go,

could have made this at home for cheap? Bulldog was sending me, I don't know a bulldog at home. Bulldog was sending me the recipe to my brain and I could have made it at home. What a fucking imbecile. Maybe the dumbest thing to be sad about. about all of it.

Because a lot of it is like, you're a moron or like opinion base or whatever. That's just straight up. No shit. Yep. I could have bought broccoli and beef for cheaper. I'm sorry, did you think you're going to go to the restaurant?

They're going to cook it for you and sell it you and it's going to be cheaper than have you made it yourself? They're going to do it at a loss. What? Insane. Insane. I go to restaurants all the time and be like, to say money.

It wasn't that good. I could have made this at home. Yeah, but I wanted to say money. But 87's a great score for this. And I do recommend it. It does, it has some nice heat, has some sweetness, pretty good. What do you think? Just kidding.

There's no one there for 20,000. Oh, I thought you're talking to Nick. No, Nick, Nick's there. Nick was choking. Nick was. I was. Yeah, I didn't want to interrupt his choking. Happy.

Why do you think he didn't wear green until you can keep pinching him? Keep going. Uh-oh. Well, hey, you can join us to watch beekeeper tomorrow at 6 p.m. Central Time. That's 7 p.m. Eastern 4 p.m. Pacific. On our discord. Can we get some bees? Can we buy some bees?

Oh yeah, yeah. We'll just release them. Yeah. And you can join that in Mass. Yeah. Patreon.com slash 100% eat. That's where you can get Discord access for five bucks, get the ad-free podcast.

Hey, you can check out the Michael Jordan podcast this Friday if you joined the $10 tier. Nice block. Yeah. Michael Jordan podcast. I was looking good. It was looking real good. I don't know about the depth, but they.

Pretty close. I got accuracy. That and every other episode in the backlog. You could also go to 100% eat. Store. Grab a nice. Grab a magnet. Grab the bee.

Can he grab the tall guy shirt? Yeah, they're out. Tall guy, send it to Grunk. Yeah, send it to... Tall, tall guy! Also, ask Grock. Ask Grock if wearing this shirt would make you tall. Ask Gronk what it would look like if Gronk wore a tall guy for it.

Yeah, absolutely. Yep. Streamway.com slash 100% eat for straight quarkro. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, a blue sky at 100% eat. And if you want to send stuff to P.O. Box for the 100% treat, you can. It's P.O. Box 14-3-3-4-1-Texas, 78711. That's P. 411,000, we'll have a very special one.

A very special one coming very, very soon. It's so small. He ran out of paper. Oh, I think we should call it a pay-pay box. Oh, do you want me to grab the cookies? Yeah, grab a fortune. Oh, yeah, I didn't get one. I had one already.

Yeah. What was it? Was it you're going to make this shot? I'll read. I'm compassionate or something. I don't know. Some shit. So I care about people or some bullshit.

It's close. You're at the mic. I'm compassionate or some fucking bullshit. Mine was. Oh, it was so close. I thought it went in for a second. Mine said everyone agrees your taste is impeccable. and that's true.

Yeah, Nick says you are caring and compassionate. People are saying you're getting crazy now, Nick. He's an empath. This is so stale. Oh. Got to eat them while they're fresh. And you're gonna buy these? I don't understand why you would ever pay for fortune cookie.

That's insane. Kindness leads to happiness. Fuck you. Fuck you, bitch. Nick was kind by not wearing green and we pinched him and he got happy. All your hard work will soon pay off. Yeah, better.

Yeah. A million dollar idea. You've got a squeak for the eagle. All right, rate, subscribe, to tell a friend about this right, when we eat food and rate the food. Thank you, Bulldog for everything. We'll see you later, Bulldog.

I mean, it's a short though. That's a book.