100% Eat - The Legend of Honkey Magoo - Zaxby's Ride Along

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Our Heroes get Graysie back to the office in one piece even though she wants to go to an Amazon Warehouse, a waterpark, and Nick is trying to throw her under the bus. Nick is familiar with all of this and Eric calls it Drive Along. The food SUCKED and it sounds like maybe there's an inside joke you gotta get in on during the Michael, Jordan Podcast this friday. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He? He was even looking at it. I don't know, because your car had a little phone. It's how a little phone holder thing. He got you. She got. Yeah, but he wasn't driving. He was backing out.

Nick's trying to get you. No. Yes, you are. I didn't be treated equally like crazy. Okay, so, so yes. We weren't moving. And it was a new gap. Nick's trying to throw you under the bus.

I didn't, like, major. No. Yes, you are. No. Why else would you have brought it up? To be right? Okay. All right. Okay.

Wow. Yeah, it's a cool water park. Can you get a shot of the water park? Yeah, sure. Almost the last time you all got in a water park. It's a straw he's handing you. Oh, thanks. Because you don't like them. I don't.

Are you triggered? Why don't you like strows? They suck. Get it? I feel like that's why you should like straws. Oh, it's because you don't need them. Yes, you do. You can drink from the goddamn cup.

But then there's more room for spillage. There's more room for spillage. If you don't have a straw. That's true. Let's see. Let's see what this car's doing. Nope. What the fuck?

Use the blinks. Go to the water pole! That was! Yeah! Wait, where did that car? Nobody cares. She just keep driving straight. So we're going back to the Lardy.

Can we stop at McDonald's? Yeah, dude, let's do it. Hey, hey, that was the same conversation we had last time. I don't remember if it was the Zaxby's or not. I think it was Tim Horton. I think it might have been where we wanted to go to the McDonald's. What you'll get at Tim Horton? This feels like we're back at Tim Horton.

Yeah. Who's Frodo? I think the Tim Hortons is like right. I had Tim Hortons for the first time like a month ago. Oh yeah? Really? What'd you think? In Canada. Really? Whoa! They let you in there? They did. They let you back here? Did they talk about how he played for the Sabres for two and a half seasons?

Tim. I gotta know. I had Timbitts. Are they life-changing? No. No. No. They... I don't know how to... They're indescribable. I don't know.

I don't know to Wuppapa. I don't know. It's worth even talking about, but their donuts tastes more like cake than donut. Like yeah, yeah. It wasn't what I expected a donut. Yeah, well, yes, cake donut. But I thought it was just going to be like normal donut. And I've been craving a strawberry glazed donut.

That's not related. Look at how close we are to that water park. Yeah, look at it. Oh, so nice. Oh, look at the big white slide that goes like that. Yeah, it's way of the slide that goes like that. I like the one that goes like this. Sorry, you didn't get it.

He's doing it again. He's doing it again. it again. No, he wasn't. Oh no, I keep missing it. Coming up on 30 here. Have you taken your son to a water park? Are you? No. What? Did you say coming up on 130 here? Yeah. Why? Yeah, why? Because so you know. I'm gonna point things out to you again. People are watching right now. Right, I know. That's what are you concerned with. And they're wondering, where are they coming up on? So he's answering the question before it's where are they? And is Nick familiar with

I'm familiar with all of Texas. I don't think in any drive-along we've done, you've like, said like, here's the highway we're approaching. I can help you announce every street you turn on if you'd like. Brains are still screaming. I said I can help you announce every street we turn on. Thank you. Don't say that because he will.

I will. He's close enough already. Thank God it was a lot of highways. Well, we took what every, like, secured his route to get out here in the first place. That was to get. to like not sit in traffic yeah because uh this stops wait pointed at me let me see whoa it's like pretty close now i've never even heard that somebody got a new phone it's not delayed by

25 seconds this guy decided yeah look at it look at it the day before the day before he goes on vacation he finally gets a new phone easiest buy and two days before and he decides to get a new house yeah and it was shockingly you bought a new house no yes he's cutting all this out Yep. And Gracie'll tell everyone the address now. I will let you all know where to find him. Anyway, where is it? Oh my god, the Amazon warehouse.

Now we're on 130. Is it coming up on 130? Yeah, so I meant, where is it? This is the car. It's like having Nick in the front where Gracie's looking and go, oh my God, the Amazon warehouse. I just wonder if they have anything for me.

Whoa, they got all the, dude, think of how many fucking mini brands are in there. Oh, dude, tell me that it was go. That's probably where all your mini brands are. Hey, let's go. Let's go in there. Yo, Mini Brands, LFG! I would really like to see the inside of an Amazon warehouse.

Just like, how much stuff is there? I call the Amazon warehouse the Mini Brands Hospital, because that's where they come to. Okay. That's where they're born. The hospital. The delivery room? The Mini Brands Hospital.

Dude, I don't feel good after that. No, that was really insulting. Is it, do you mostly feel still hungry? No. I'm not at all, actually. I feel bloated. Yes. I feel bloated.

I did not eat that. Yeah, from eating two slices of bread and french fries. I'm so unsatisfied. Oh my God. But like very thirsty. But it's very describable. No. No.

I think Gracie nailed it when G said it tastes like Lysol. Yeah. It did. Michael could not believe that it said indescribably good everywhere. He was like not having it. It's not even a good slogan. I was not having it before we ate the food. Yes.

Okay. Even without the stuff, I don't think the chicken would have been good but it would have been edible like it well yeah it would have been holy shit dude strike me it's like mm good chicken I just I think it's crazy that place exists when raising canes like eating a raw like but are there states that only have Zaxby's and don't have raising canes I don't know or is raising canes there's some overlap now even more so I think Zaxby is like way less prevalent than raising canes well we saw Gracie we saw that map the main

spot we saw the map inside that had older locations I found and And it was like all the southeast. Felt like today. Yeah. When I was looking up, uh, info for this, I found another, like, small, like I guess you call it a regional chain. It's like southern and kind of eastern chicken place called Chicken Express. Called, it's like honky magoos.

Okay, hold on. That sounds like one of the things they would put on the wall on Zach's piece. And you go, is this like bad? Yeah. Would it be mustard? Yeah. Honky mcuh. You want some hongy mcgooze.

You want some honky mustard? I think that might be what it's called. I don't remember if that's exactly. Honky magoos. Is it from Appalachia? No, no, yeah, it's like, it's all like south and east. It's all mountain folks. Oh, we should have gone there.

We don't have them here. We should have gone there, idiot. No, we can still have gone. No, it's not nearby. It's all south and east. Let's go. It's about as close as Cabo. Yeah.

Oh, well, we could go there too and go on a boat. We can go on a boat. All right. And who knows what we'll see on the boat. We could take on the boat. Who knows who or what we'll Who knows what we'll see on the moon? We'll see some honky magoos.

Who knows who we'll meet on the beach? Who is my picture is Gracey will snap. This is my step mom honky magoo. She's got some honky magoo all right. Oh my god. Oh my god, that's my friend's step mom. Holy Gina honky magoo. Oh my ear off.

my ear off. Dude, that's Manville? Wow! With the Man Show? That's awesome. Remember the Man Show? Yeah. Are you talking to me?

Those hosts never went anywhere. I was putting it on. Which iteration? It was pointing right at me. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. You looked hot. The Doug Stanhope.

Oh, okay. Joe Rogan. The good one. I call it the good one. It's got really quiet. Back when they were making that old guy drink until he died. He did. drink drink old man he would just yeah he was just like open his throat

drinking like one gulf yeah he just did it all day every day we should get out to malort ooh no oh we should get it out and watch you drink yeah i'm fine with that yep we still have those glasses in the freezer yeah i think so i'm still digesting eric did you try any malort when you were in chicago gracie no i didn't see any of that she didn't get to see she didn't get to see any malor she didn't see a time Well, I mean, if you're not working at the car park factory. Are these motorcycles with trailers? What in the world?

I think you know they are. Whoa! You can put a baby inside. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Drive up next to him and beep and give him a thumbs up. That's how you can go on a road trip on the motorcycle. Yeah, Eric.

You wouldn't know. Yeah, yeah, moron. Moron. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Next we're going to scream way that you have to go. Next time you get on an off ramp, you're done for it. Oh, Nick, what's that building? Oh, I don't know.

There's a leaf coming out of the plant. It's something, I don't know. Eco friends. It's eco-friendly. Wow. Wow. Man, I'm out there. There's really nothing out here.

Look at these great planes. Imagine living right there, Jordan. There you are, you're home. Oh. Nice. Burrell. It's right next to the highways. Why?

It's crazy how you go a little east and everything is gone. Yeah. I mean, technically, I think we just went. I think it was still Austin where we were. That was just now? It was Fluggerville. It was a jungle. It is.

Yeah. Austin is such bullshit. Yeah. They're so you're not in Austin and they just still call it. Yep. Yeah, Flugerville. Yeah. I called them Flugues.

Flugerville should definitely start way sooner than it does. Yeah, I agree. Oh my God, yeah. It should start right around here. Yeah, honestly. I think you were pretty close to where it could be. Right there at the abandoned shack. Yeah.

I like the idea of putting a pee before every word that starts in the now. So do Germans. Like my last name. Oh. Greasy Flynn. You want it to start with a pee. Or fuck with a pee. Okay.

You should do P-H-F. So no one gets confused. Uh-huh. No, I like P-F. Okay. It either has to be P-H-U-C-K or P-F-U-C-K. I like that you went with your last name and then also with the other one should be. Her two favorite F-words.

They probably are. Fuck. So Scott's such a nice ringtaker. She's not allowed to swear at home. I'm gonna go. You guys, check this out. Finally, in free. Hey, fuck.

Look at this picture. Two things I can't do at home. Usually I should take people out to the woods to show you. What I thought. I gotta be up I gotta be up the Wi-Fi or like no hold it low hold it low the audience will never know what we're talking no this is so good they shouldn't oh man no no one should no they definitely that's for us oh I wasn't ready for just my no I don't think any of us were ready for it I knew y'all weren't that's why I

preface I was like it's gonna be wild all I say is Gracie showed is a very fun picture it was wild you were blown away she was she was she was she was It must have to go on a boat. It must be going to a boat. It was a boat. The moral of the story. Yep. That's the moral of the story.

Yeah. And we're all going to go to Cabo or a water park. Or a water park. Or both. A water park in Cabo. Boom. They got to build one first, I think. No.

They've got to have any water park, right? Like out of resort? Yeah. I'm so surprised. Okay. I'm so surprised you didn't start looking it up. Yeah, right. I'm proving that.

Well, I can. Well, look it up on his touch screen. Yeah. Make it up on his touch screen. address. Is this a touch screen? Yeah, it's just like yours. Is it a touchscreen?

Yeah, it's just like your... They are not all touch screen. That's also a Hyundai. That's not the one I'm looking for. That's in a lawn truck. It's a smaller model of the Sonata. Um... She's looking up water parking in Java.

There are water parks in Coppo. How many? Well, I don't know. I'm just looking at photos. Isn't that what you want to do when you're... Yeah, yeah. She's looking at photos all right. Wild wet fun.

Oh. Is it fun with me? Anyone have a joke to throw out there for that one? Yeah, is it fun? Are you thinking? Any of the wheels turning right now? Do they have any swing? Yeah.

Asking for a friend step on. One review by honky. I think the swing. One star. Oh, Kim McGregum says we were watching here. I think the swing hurt my back. I don't think it was the swing.

Oh my God. Oh. They put it in the jig. I'm so glad I enlightened y'all. Yeah. Yeah, that's how we feel is enlightened. Yeah. I'm on another spark.

Look, I got a trampoline! Where'd you get a trampolade? Two trampolins in a row! Yeah, but it's got the shitty wall in it. And Jordan's boat! Yeah, it does. Dude, that's what started this whole conversation. To trampoline is Jordan's boat. It was the boat park there and they were going, that's Jordan's boat.

And then Gracie was like, I want to go on a boat. Also, I'll just like, it's like, it's been on a boat. I don't think you ever heard this. When we were added access to ordering, she was like, oh, I guess it was on a boat warm. Yeah, I was literally asking her, like, how was Chicago? and she goes I went on a boat tour and I was like that you have been on a boat but I haven't been on a boat in so long there was a guy driving or something

no right there were lots of people I didn't know that's the thing that she wants to please I don't want that stuff on my boat lift your butt up all right yeah lift it lift it good oh oh man oh god I'm not your door Michael oh man oh oh oh I told you it'll Is that what happened to you that one time? Yeah, exactly what happened. Just like that is exactly what happened. That was why it was a joke. No, it wasn't the challenge.

I mean, might as well have been. That's a nice TV. No, you can have it. What is this little Coraline door? That's yours. What? That's your hangout room. Okay.

Check it out. It's a lot of fun in there. Careful. Wow. Oh, the door closed. I wasn't sure what was going to be in there. I thought maybe it was like a magical. Yeah, all we're looking at the door.

as if something funny was going to be there. No. Why would... It's not any colder. Nope. Nope. I still thought it's not even on right now. No, it actually isn't.

It stayed, it went back to 76. What the fuck? Why didn't do that? It shouldn't be on a schedule? Well, it was. I turned it down to 69 before we live. I put hold when I put it down to like 72. Maybe it sent to temp mold instead of crunch.

That's mean, Gracie. It is on temporary. That's weird. Gracie just said we should have a little chalk outline for... I think it would have been a big circle right here. I thought you were over here. Like that. Oh, did we talk about how we found?

We talked about, like, my head hit here because we found a bunch of hair in it. Oh, yeah. We thought I spent my, we thought, we thought brain spilled down here. We were just talking about it. I was like, oh, I wonder if there's like any blood or like a mark or something.

I go, oh, there's hair. I am a picture from up top of you finding your hair. Yeah. And we could tell because of all the gray. Also, just want to point out. Have you seen the delay on this thing? No. Check it out.

Yeah, it's like non-existent. Check it out. Whoa. Pretty good. See, see, look at that. You got a new phone. He worked on it. He worked on it.

Listen, it took longer than I'd like when I'm working, you know, hard, but. What are you saying? Gracie walked away and started playing the stuff on the phone. She started grabbing the rackle thing. just started like tapping it against me. Let's go do this episode. Who's this? That's my friend Rocco.

Yeah, go ahead and end on Rocco. That's our security system. Yeah, chin down, eyes up. Oh, I like this. Wow, all right, we'll see in the episode. Did you like it? Did we? No.

Oh, I'll kill you. I like this.