100% Eat - The Worst Trip to Subway %% Subway Dippers

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Our Heroes braved two different Subways, with Eric living his worst nightmare, to bring you a review of the new Subway Dippers. Are these little wraps everything they're cracked up to be or should you go literally anywhere else so you don't witness a fight behind the counter? This dude is a real space cadet and he's causing problems on this week's episode of 100% Eat. This episode is brought to you by Shady Rays. Thanks, Shady Rays. Get 50% off of 2 pairs of polarized glasses at shadyrays.com - code EAT Don't forget to grab a shirt at store.100percenteat.com because you are a lil spice rat maybe. Support us directly https://www.patreon.com/100percenteat where you can join the discord with other 100 Percenters, stay up to date on everything, and get The Michael, Jordan Podcast every friday. Follow us on IG & Twitter: @100percenteat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

planning for a summer road trip? Check. Luggage? Check. Music? Check. Snacks? Drinks? And everything we can win in a new game at Circle K? Check! With Circle K's summer road trip game you can win over a million delicious instant prizes and a grand prize of $25,000. Play at games.circlek.com or at participating Circle K stores. Welcome to 100% Eat in another new space. The show where we try every fast food restaurant to let you know if you need it. You probably do. I'm your host Michael Jones alongside my co-host Jordan Sweers.

Jordan, how are you? I was actually pointing at the drummer off-screen, so we're going late night Talk show kind of vibes we got a band now Early night no one's on the drums yet yet. I'm hoping get max Weinberg. Oh He's not doing anything yeah, probably trying to stay alive Can we get Max Weinberg and Kevin Eubanks? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Right, she's on his wife with him right who what Letterman wasn't he banging around on his wife who Paul's wife?

No way He would never You remember the idea thought it was that guy remember the idea that we had for The early morning show. Oh god. Yeah. Yeah, I remember we we did a really good job of coming up with ideas and then nothing happened So I kind of forgot it was weird cuz we finished it and then it just sort of like, here we are. Whoa, we could do that. Yeah, we have to think of another name because we can't use FaceJam AM. Why not?

It was FaceJam AM in the morning. Why can't we call it that? Like the show to wake up to. In the morning morning show. That's how we bring FaceJam. To wake up to. We own that. We do.

Of course we could call it that. I had to sign it over to the company. I had to do paperwork and everything. Yeah, now we do own it. Yeah, you're to sign it over? Not just Eric. They had to sign it over. No, no, they signed it over to me. I owned-

Eric had it for a little bit. I personally- You're talking about this company. I personally owned FaceJam for a number of weeks. Whoa. Yeah, and I was just like, Eric, sign this paper, sign this paper. It was weird, Jordan kept going,

I need you to sign this, I need you to sign it now. Stop like Eric sign this and then this paper sign this paper It was weird Jordan kept going. I need you to sign this I need you to sign it now stop what you're doing sign this sign this And I kept saying take your time Chill out. Let's go eat at Subway. Oh my god, which is crazy because today we're reviewing subway footlong dippers and Boy, did we dip? Michael dipped them all the way the back of his fucking throat if we do I did so I'm throwing out the script How will you know what to say because

Line It was an ordeal. Oh because it was an ordeal he wrote that ahead of time. He knew he just had a feeling everything that I worry about That is going to happen happened. And it's not just the restaurant because it started the moment we met up. You know normally it will say like what we talked about in the ride along. Couldn't even scratch the surface. We just kept going, we didn't talk about it on the show. Because it was not a long enough drive and there's no way we weren't gonna rant about it. But I will say, you do get the unbridled rage from Eric freaking out. Like we just left the subway and he's just going,

ah, in the car. I can't fucking believe it. Fucking insanity. So it's subway. We decided we gotta go see the boss. The last time we ate at Subway We went to the bosses subway. Yeah, right It was like a half ordeal where we were trying to get all three of the sidekicks

Yes, the bosses place only had two yes, and we had to go to another restaurant to get the third one He told us he's like, you know, I don't know if anyone's gonna have yeah, I don't know and then Gracie And he told us, he's like, dude, I don't know if anyone's going to have one. I don't know. And then Gracie was not okay with that. Because it's pretzel they didn't have. Gracie whipped out the phone immediately, started calling, and then they didn't answer. So it was like, I'm going to do an online order. They have them.

They have them. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah. And we kept saying they're not going to be there. Uh-huh. We get there. And they were.

They were there. We walked in, grabbed the thing. They were waiting too. Had a great time. It was so easy. I'll tell you this. I remember thinking this, I didn't say it, but I was like, next time we eat Subway, this won't happen again. There's no way this will happen. You know what, Jordan? It didn't.

It kind of did. So we go to the Boss's Subway. No signage on the outside. Which is further, by the way. Yes. Than the Subway that's right nearby. In the ride along, you'll see, we drive by the subway we could have gone to.

It's like two minutes away. Yeah, so we try to go to the boss's subway, walk in, no signage. Nothing on the wall, nothing. We're never about signage, but also that's just how the boss rolls. But it does happen sometimes. It does.

And we're talking about the boss's subway, that subway, not Bruce Springsteen. No. Who sings for Max Weinberg. The lead of the East Street band. Whoa, you about to? Who's on the drums? That subway not Bruce Springsteen. No who? things from a lead of Thanks Max So walk in there's the boss. There's the there's the fucking boss saw him right there had his glasses on locked in

Yeah, hey, what's up boss? What do you need man? Hey, man, you got the uh, you got the footlong dippers? No, we don't have them at all, man. And then he followed it with you. Maybe later this week. What even are they? Yeah, what are they, though? Dude, he asked me what they were.

Yeah. And I'm like, they're like these roll-up things. That? He's like that. He points to some wraps, and I'm like, they're kind of smaller than that. It's kind of like that. And I'm like, do you think, because and I'm like, they're kind of smaller than that. It's kind of like that. And I'm like, do you think,

because we've been in this situation in specific before, do you think that other subways will have it, the boss? I don't know, man, it all depends on like, when their deliveries, our delivery's supposed to be like later today or tomorrow. So I don't know, maybe. It'll be later this week. But like, I don't know.

And I'm like, and I just said, hey, we might be back, but we're gonna go try to figure it out. Oh shit, I should get this spam. Boom. I said, all right, we walk out. Nick goes, we can just eat here. And it's fucking Cece's pizza. He did say, he said, he said, time to pivot.

We can pivot. I didn't break stride. I wasn't going to listen. And then he just went I'm hoping First of all first of all though. It's important to remember at this point. Eric's already mad. Well, that's what I'm saying You've jumped the gun. Yeah, you've jumped the gun by the way, uh-huh because you went right to the subway Uh-huh. You are already mad about the gate not being open. Yeah, which is before I'm mad about I'm mad about the gate Not being open. Yeah pressing the call button not being answered.

Calling the phone number I'm supposed to call not being answered. Pressing the button again, calling the number again, not being answered. But I did say, haha. Oh, don't worry. I just said park around this corner and Nick gave a thumbs down? And then put a thumbs up, which was immediately met by me and Jordan giving it a thumbs down. Yeah, and then I was driving and I just saw a lot of flurry of activity,

so I just did ha ha. Yep. And then Eric immediately replied. He was like, oh yeah, it's a laugh and a half. Yeah. If I weren't driving, I would have replied, no, it's two full laughs. That's what I thought, but I was being safe.

It's the thing where this is why we've been just borrowing spaces and using stuff that we know we have access to. Because when we control the in and out, I don't have to deal with other people and all this stuff. Oh, burger, he said burger. In and out burger.

Oh, got it. Thank you. The problem with this is I'm- You're at the mercy of someone. I'm beholden to people and we're renting it, it costs money to rent it. And everything. Which when you're producing something and spending money is the most stressful thing.

Let me show up early, let me get all this stuff coordinated so that way when all the talent shows up, everything's set and settled. Whoever they are. Fuck. I let them know the plan, it's fine, whatever. And I just, when that happened, I just went, we're gonna park around here, we're gonna get in the car. You should have seen Whatever. And I just when that happened, I just went, we're going to park around here and get in the car.

I got, he was so good. I parked and then Eric pulled up next to me in the street and I rolled my window down and he rolled his window down. And he's like, what's up? I'm like, nothing. He's like, get in. And I didn't realize you guys were in the car and that was supposed to be jump out and jump in let's go. I tried to roll the window down in the back because we left the front for you. I tried to roll it down in the back. Here's what I think happened. Eric was fighting to roll down the other window. So I'm rolling down my window so you can see us back there. And then it starts rolling up.

I look at Nick and I go, Eric doesn't want me to roll. I just thought, I just stopped in the middle of the street. And I was like, oh, I didn't realize this was me getting in. Then you got out of your car, started getting in. I went, your window is down. And you went, yes, it is. Which is a double whammy because it's open for someone either A, to steal my one wheel, or B, to steal

the unopened handle of Vodkin. Which is two very different types of people. Yeah, definitely. But I feel like a great double hit. But you can get double hit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was talking, Nick and I were watching you like slink back to your car and shame to roll back your window up. And, uh, I was like, man, there's no, there's no way he could play it off. There's like, there's no way you could just be like,

yeah, I did it on purpose. Yep. But I guess it's, you pointed it out. I mean, I did do it on purpose to stare at Eric. I just forgot to roll it back. Right. The hard part, because I was startled by him going, get in. I'm like, oh, okay. I thought we were going in a building. You just sprung into action. Yeah. I also thought we were going in a building. Right. Imagine how angry I was when I pulled up and there's just some guy sitting in front of the driveway. I can't even, it was like, I want to get in the gate. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see that? Did you see him? Yeah. Yeah, he was in the car with him. He had a POV. He was in the car when Meredith was hit.

The problem with the Boss's subway is that, like we said, it's not the closest subway. It's also not the second closest subway. No, it's not. Right. We went specifically to the Boss's subway. At a point where you were already mad. You chose to make that trek. Yes. Yeah. Because I thought it was going to be great for the show. Yeah. I mean, in a way it was. Because we were going to eat there and then we were going to eat lunch with the boss. I thought it was going to be fantastic. He just wanted to hang out with his best friend, the boss. This is, and again, if you haven't listened to it or forgotten the last time I went there. They like shut the place down.

Like it came to a grinding halt. There were like nine people in line. Three people basically. And they spent 40 minutes getting these like cookie things. Three stoned guys trying to cook cookies. And they're just like, hold on, I'll be right with you. Okay, I'm going to put them in the oven. They were having the time of their lives.

And here's the thing. They were learning how to make these things while we were there doing that. Same thing happened to the second subway that we went to where they were also learning how to make these things, not having fun. No, no, the vibe was definitely different with the staff. There was one person in front of me when I went to order, I walked up and I said, Hey man, do you have those, the dippers? And he went, yeah. And I'm like, great. It's the, the three of them.

He's like, yeah, the cheese, the chicken and cheese and the pepperoni. Well, you asked how many there are. Yes. And he listed three of them. Okay, so there are three of them? So there are three of them. And the guy didn't want to answer the question.

He didn't want to work at Subway. So I just go, great. And he's like, cool. So like, which one? And I went, I'm actually going to get four Subway. So I just go great. And he's like, cool. So like, which one? And I went, I'm actually going to get four of each. You need to watch the video version of the show for what he did. Because it was this I said, I'm going to get four of each. And he went,

his face told the tail, a frown from the Subway worker is just like, this is not going to be good. The other two people working, and I'm putting that in hard quotes at that subway. They were employed. Right. They were holding on to the sinking ship, and this guy was struggling to keep it afloat.

First guy doesn't want to be working there. That's fine. I get it. He doesn't want to take my order. Hateful all. I get it. He doesn't want to take my order hateful all the way. It's like the anti boss. Yes. He was like, he was like the captain, but of a pirate ship.

Yep. Second guy went, oh, I got to learn how to make these. All right. And then he's asking the guy how to do it. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of being like, oh, it's like,

oh, what an interesting challenge for me to face. Right. write. Yeah Yeah, did not seem like he retained anything that was told to him at any given moment at any given point Because he kept going this is pepperoni and the guy went yeah, there's six pepperonis on each one and he went, okay It and it's you you line them up I'm already cringing it was like, this is the guy who just doesn't want, he's like, fuck, ugh, just lining him up. The third guy who is at the register. What the fuck?

He was on another planet. Jesus Christ! And Michael would know because he had to deal with all three of them as well. Oh my God! Because he wanted to get a sandwich himself. Now why did you get a sandwich, Michael? So I got a sandwich.

I walked in. I was fiddling in the car for a minute while you were doing that. And so I came in and Nick's like, eee. He like thumbs up like, oh, they have it. Uh-huh. And so I sat down and I'm like, so I'm like, I'm fucking hungry.

How much food are we getting? What's the situation here? And he goes, and I know what they are. I saw little pictures. They're little thin little rat rolls. They're, they're dippers for dipping in the sauces they come with. And, uh, I'm like, how many, how many are you getting? And Nick goes, one of each. And I'm like, Oh fuck, that's not a lot at all. Now he's understanding. I don't understand. We had this conversation already. We already had this conversation and I go, and I'm like, that's it. And I gets it. We had the same conversation at Subway. We already had this conversation.

And I go, and I'm like, that's it? Do you work at Subway? And I go, he could. This is, honestly, this guy fits the mold. This guy worked at a Subway. You could be number four. So I'm like, I'm like. You could be back there going like,

I go. Sausage, sausage, sausage. I'm like, that's not a lot of food at all, which, you know, sometimes on the show, it's just like, that's the specialty food and that's it. And I'm like, it's not a lot of food at all, which which uh-huh you know sometimes on the show It's it's just like that's the specialty food, and that's it. Yeah, like it's like I'm not that much food, so we'll get extra food, and I just assumed it was another situations. It's also early Yeah, it's like 11 15, and so I didn't I wasn't gonna be like oh we should get more to do to do to do I'm just like I want to be just not that much and and Nick goes He's like 400 calories and in my in my head, yeah, 400 calories each.

I'm like, 1200 calories between four people is 300 calories. Now see, if you'd said that out loud, I'd be like, huh? I did the math in my head, and then he goes, you'll be almost full. And I'm like, I think I said that. I think I said, you'll be close to not being hungry. I was just like, no, I'll definitely be hungry.

I'm gonna get a sandwich. And at this point, he was already waiting at the register and he looked like he wanted to blow his brains out. Oh, I got some great pictures. Yeah. So, so I was just like, he's not wearing a hat today. So it was really hard to tell the signs. And then you saw the signs. So I was like, all right, let me hop in line, get this thing ordered. There are two people behind me before you get in. Yeah. So I'm like, well, I'll get this. Someone said we're not waiting, you know, cause we're eating here.

I'm just gonna get one simple sandwich. And so I hop in line and there's two people in front of me. And it's like five minutes before they even take the order of the person, two people in front of me. And at this point, Eric's still waiting. I don't know what's going on. I'm watching him stand there forever, right? And I think they were also doing like a mobile order. So they're making shit for people that weren't there. That's why it was taking longer. And so they're waiting for our wind forever. Finally, the guy first up he goes he's given him his order and I'm standing there. He's still standing there. I'm just looking at you and I'm looking at him just smiling at you watching you. Take pictures. I was like, I was like, and he just get fucking mad. And like, it's just, I just I'm just going what is taking so long and then Eric's looking at me

Are you looking at me? I'm gonna go don't look at me. I'm over here. I'm just standing over here I'm not doing nothing. You did a great job of being over there because I kept looking at you and you shark bite cat and you Were going, huh? Yeah shark bit my hat But but so then I don't know if it was after the woman in front of me was finally giving her order bite Gat and you were going, uh huh. Yeah, yeah, I shucked my hat. But but so then I don't know if it was after the woman in front of me was finally giving her order or it was like still the other guy was going on. But the guy at the register who didn't know what the fuck was going on was over in the corner now by me. And he just keeps talking about the the dippers. And he's like, we need we need six more dippers or something like four more six more dippers or whatever and I literally thought in my head I was like oh I guess people are getting dippers more dippers

the pissed off guys fuming about it and he's just like and so they have like the it's like a wheel real weird like wrap thing that they got to like it's flat and then they fold it in half and then they roll it or whatever and they're spending minutes prepping these things. They're spending minutes and you're over there just waiting forever and ever and ever and ever. And they haven't gotten to you yet. No, no, no, no. And finally, at one point, I think the pissed off guy asks him like, well, how many, how many do we need or whatever? And essentially he tells him like,

your order. And he goes, we already have those. We made those already. And so like, they were all more for you. They were just more. And it's also why you were waiting for the food that was already done. I saw it happen. Because he just thought there were more.

He didn't know how many you ordered. So all that time he's been standing there, it was the guy thinking he was about to make more wraps and he didn't. And then the guy went back to the register to you and the other guy, dude, he was like muttering, someone's like, motherfucker. And he just takes like all the wraps

and like goes in the back room and like takes them away. And I'm just like, oh, that's why he was waiting so long. Oh my God. So then he goes over to you and you're finishing up your business. They finally get to mine. I'm just like, dude, foot long, salami and cheese. It's plain as can be.

Just those two. That's it, dude. And they're like, okay, cool. I'm watching the things go down the line. They're going down the line. I see a flurry of activity from you guys, which we'll get back to in a second over at the table. Nick and I were having our own adventures.

There's a whole thing going on. The first guy had two sandwiches, and I don't remember exactly what was transpiring, but they fucked up the toppings like twice on it. And then they were like fixing it or whatever. And then the woman in front of me had two sandwiches. I saw this happen. And he goes, she orders one, and they're doing like the dressings, the toppings and shit, like the lettuce and whatever you want. And I don't know if he fucked up both of them or it was just the second one,

but I know for a fact the second one, he goes, what do you want on this one? And she's like, I want this, this, this, and this. It was like four things. And he goes, well, tell me what you don't want. And I'm just like, and I'm just like, there's not that many. There's like 10 options.

And she like, listen four. And so then she goes, I don't want this, this, this, this, and this. Like it wasn't nearly enough to want any do. And he wasn't saying it like to be a dick. He was just like, oh, it'll be easier. It was not easier. It was not easier.

It was not easier. So now he's trying to think. The making simple things more complicated. He's just putting on the things that she said she didn't want, and he's doing that. And then he goes, anything? He's like, that's it?

Anything else? And she's like, yeah, these two other things that I asked for. He didn't finish putting it on. He's like, oh, right. Puts those on. And then he goes, do you want any sauce? And she wanted something in mustard.

I don't remember what it was. Like a chili thing. A hummy in mustard? It wasn't a hummy in mustard. It was regular mustard. It was something in mustard. I don't remember what it was. Like a chili thing. A Hummian mustard? It wasn't a Hummian mustard. It was regular mustard. It was something in mustard. He goes, got it. Mayo all over the top. And she just goes, nope.

And he's just staring at it. And he's just looking at it like, because it's a fully made sandwich. There's 8,000 toppings on it. He's not gonna do it again. And he's just staring at it though. And she just goes, you can just scrape it off. It he's just staring at it though. And she just goes, you can just scrape it off, it's fine.

Just scrape it off. I don't like mayo, it's fine. And so he scrapes off. Dude, I will say, he takes a little knife. He gets 90% of it off, right? And as soon as he does that, she goes, that's fine, that's good enough. Just ignores her.

And he's like taking off like an olive has like a molecule of mayo and he's like taking it off. And she just goes, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine And he just keeps going she's like getting aggravated She's like it's fine And he's like and he thinks it's something like no you'll get what you want you'll I'll make it what you want And she's like fuck I want you to finish the fucking sandwich

So as is happening, I'm looking like oh, where's my sandwich and I look over go. Oh cool. It's toasted. I didn't ask for it to be toasted It's like for fuck's sake, dude. Why, like, and then, and then, as I'm looking at that, the guy next to me, like behind me now is ordering, and I hear the pissed off guy, who's the one that toasted it, goes, toasted or not? And the guy's like, no, I'm like, well, you fucking ask me if I wanna toast it, motherfucker, why the fuck, what the fuck?

So now I'm pissed. Finally get down the line, right? I just get my lettuce and my, I had the middle guy at that point. The guy who was happy to be there. Yeah. She had lettuce and onions, a little vinegar, we're good, moving down.

Back to the other guy who doesn't know what dimension he's in. He's at the register. And he goes- This is a subway guy. And literally he goes, the other guy's like, oh, you're ringing him up. And he's like, what is it? And I go, it's sal subway guy. And literally he goes, the other guy's like, oh, you ring him up and he's like, what is it?

And I go, it's salami and cheese, extra cheese. And he's like, okay, dude, he is looking on the computer for three minutes. Like, I'm not exactly, like, and he's just going, am I crazy? Where's salami? Where is it? And he's just beeping.

And that was that one point I just turned around and I looked at you. And I just looked back and I'm just like, it's somewhere. But like he was doing nothing to solve it. And I'm just thinking, maybe ask somebody. Like maybe ask one of the other people. But like I think maybe he doesn't want to.

Cause he's gonna get yelled at. He should get yelled at! By the mean guy, the angry guy. He's looking for ever and I'm like I'm just like look I'm not gonna step into this but like I I know enough like even going to Jersey Mike's they don't have salami you just put it as ham. I was gonna say it's a standard non-expensive meat right you know like you get into like cheese steak, cost more sometimes. Subway corporate ink in the care. Every goddamn meat is the same price. Pepperoni, ham, turkey, it doesn't fucking matter.

It's a fucking meat. Just mark the extra cheese. But you know what? I'm staying out of this. Oh, absolutely. At Jersey Mike's, I've done it before. Where I'll go, usually they just mark it as ham. And then the guy will go, oh, okay.

And I'm like, not today, I'm not doing it here. And I'm just waiting. You don't wanna to make things. It would make it worse ever, dude. Forever. Finally, he asks and he just goes, he's like, do we not? We do. We don't have salami on here. And the guy just goes, no, just put it at 23. What the fuck? He's like, yells. He's like, it's just a 23! What the fuck? How many times do I have to tell you once? Dude, dude, dude. He marks it up and then he's like,

oh, just a sandwich, I'm like, for the love of Christ. Just this, oh, he also did the thing, he's like, all right, just go ahead and pay whatever, and I'm looking at the screen and it's not ready. No. You know what it'll say like, like you have to wait for the price to show up and then you tap here.

It says like, hey, do the rewards, whatever. Do the rewards or whatever, and it's's that and he's just staring at it. I'm just staring at him and he's like waiting for me to pay. And I just go, it's not like he has nothing to do here. You gotta do something. You guys have a button that has to be pushed dude. There's a button that has to be pushed. We haven't started anything yet and we're 22 minutes in.

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offering a world class product rated five stars by over 300,000 people. That's almost half of the amount of people that listen to this podcast. No, it's not. That's probably way less than that, dude. No, we need to like kind of bolster numbers. Why? They're already sponsoring us.

They love us. That's right. We love Shady Rays. And we love Shady Rays. That's why we're wearing Shady Rays all the time. They're the best sunglasses. There's no video, but you are waving sunglasses over your head right now.

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Ha ha ha ha. At Air Miles, we help you collect more moments. So instead of scrolling through photos of friends on social media, you can spend more time dinnering with them. Mmm. How's that spicy enchilada? Oh, very... flavorful. Yodeling with them. Eee-oo-lee-oo-lee-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo Is that a squirrel? Bear! Run! Collect more moments with more ways to earn.

Air Mile. So finally, finally, I know, finally, finally, I pay for the fucking thing and I turn out and I sit down and I'm like, wow, what an ordeal. And I experienced all of it and I know everything that's happening. And you're like, no, you don't. Uh huh. And Nick's just like, motherfucker, motherfucker. All of the anger that I had in me from every debacle to that point

until we had the food in hand and I sat down, all of that anger that I had was immediately transferred into Nick. It was a ghost. Yeah, you exhaled a ghost. It flew out of me and into Nick because we didn't get sauce. Now here's the thing. There are four different sauces with these dippers. You dealt with the people who worked there. I was asking that last guy for sauce. Do you know what I was met with?

A snow? Was he looking for a button? He was. A stone wall? I think he was on my face somewhere as he stared. Yeah, it's like Chipotle. There's like a Chipotle mayo. Can I get like three of those?

I think there's like a Sriracha one. Yeah, there's supposed to be sauces. Do you guys have the sauces? Hold on, dude. You need six more wraps. Yes, Jordan. I think that's what happened. When I asked for sauces, it made him go, oh, my God, they need six more wraps.

So when I came back with these things and no sauces and Nick is furious, I just told him, you do it. Nick got up, stormed over to the front, stood there, was looked at by the guy who worked there, who immediately turned around and left. The boss would never say that right now. We could have been eating lunch with the boss. I sat down and Nick's just like, this is fucking bullshit.

This is called dippers. This is fucking bullshit. And I was like, what is happening here? What is going on? Nick kept taking bites and going, tastes like midnight at my parents' house. It's so dry, so dry. He goes, mmm, dry.

Yeah, it was just, it was just cutting remark after cutting remark at the subway, four feet from the employees. It literally is like the counters here and the table was here. It was like as far away as Nick is right now. It is, yep, yep. Right to the camera. But like... We were just waiting to get out of there.

Nick's a little sauce freak. We had to eat in front of them, so we were just like, we got to get out of here so we could start venting. He's a little sauce freak where he's like, oh, I need the sauce. Oh, I need the sauce. This was straight up like, fuck this place. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck this place. I'm like, no, quiet down. Calm down.

No, fuck. what the fuck? They're fucking dippers. They're called dippers. They're all fucking dippers. So Eric also got- Never happened at Cece's. Eric got four Fountain drinks as well. I thought about the drinks.

So Nick and I- Dude, Nick and I are like- Also, I heard him, cause I was standing in line when he ordered them. And he literally is like, I want to get four drinks. Can I get the drinks? Because the entire top is off of the soda fountain.

And there's a guy on the ladder. And he's inside of it. And the guy at the register is like, and I don't know if he had an answer. Oh, the guy got off the ladder. He goes, it's on. Uh-huh. And then the guy, the fucking space cadet at Subway, said,

all right, yeah, that's it. Customer says he loves you for it. And then the guy, the fucking space cadet at Subway said, all right, yeah, that's it. Customer says he loves you for it. What the fuck? And I just looked at that guy and then the guy was working on it and I went. Dude, also I forgot, I don't know if you heard him. I don't know if you heard him.

It was right when I got in line. Right when I got in line, I heard that same guy. He goes, wow, I've never know if you heard him. It was right when I got in line, right when I got in line. I heard that same guy. He goes, well, I've never seen it this busy so early. Is there a convention in town? Yeah, he goes, I never seen it. Yeah, by the wall. The other guy's just going, motherfucker, motherfucker.

He's this close to burning the whole place down. Hey, do you remember, do you remember when we got there and we thought the thing we were gonna talk about that we haven't talked about was the chicken bones in the parking lot? Yes, and we'll say we walked in, we walked in and I was like, oh, shit, I gotta go back to the chicken bones. Oh, dude, I took a picture and he already took a picture. I walked out to the car because it was on your side when you got out and I got out and I went, what the fuck? And there's just chicken bones all over the parking lot. Like right outside the car.

There's not a place that sells chicken nearby. And then Nick, we got out of the car. Nick looks at them and looks at me and I hadn't seen him. And he just went, not 100 percent eat. And I went, what the fuck are you talking about? And then he just went not 100% eat and I went what the fuck are you talking about? And then and then he just goes chicken bones, and it was like Like a They're clean yeah, yeah like a ritual yeah like a ritual had occurred in the subway season one true detective

It looks like Nick got out of the car and brushed his Like all the chicken bones fell that's they're so close to your car Let's hold on to these that was the thing where I'm like, oh this will be a fun episode because this is already Kind of a debacle and then the chicken I walk back in I was like dude There's chicken bones everywhere and she was like what I'm like chicken bones all outside the bones all outside the car. And Eric center's like, Oh, I got pictures. I was like, Oh, I got pictures too. This has been going for almost half an hour. This is there.

It was insane. It was fucking crazy. I also, I'm really glad that we didn't even try to talk about this on the ride. No, yeah, there's no way we'd be sitting outside in the parking lot as the gates closing and I have, I have more shit I want to say about it too, but we got to get to the facts. We have to learn about something. All right, fine.

We'll take a pause for a second. Oh, by the way, I didn't eat my sandwich. So my extra sandwich I got after I realized I didn't need because we actually got 12 of the goddamn things. I'm gonna eat this on the Michael Jordan podcast. Now here's the thing. If you're watching this now, it already came out. So people will see you eat that.

Well, what's nice too is it works out because it'll be cold like I want it. Yay! Cold and crunchy. Oh, that's right. They were really doing you a favor. Let's learn about Subway. Our last Subway episode as Face Jam was February 13th, all right, before Valentine's Day,

2024 where we ate Subway sidekicks. They received an average rating of 60. So we went to the Boss's. Which is where the Boss was. We went to the Boss's Subway about five months ago. And he didn't remember us. Fucked up. Yeah, Jordan was upset by that.

I don't, sorry. If you said, but if you said, if you walked in and said, hey, remember us, we were the sidekick guys. Oh, he would've remembered. Probably, yeah. Or if we walked in, he was like, yo, Gracie! Yeah, exactly. That's he would remember probably. Yeah, we walked in he was like yo Gracie That also reminds me real quick I'm waiting in line to make my sandwich like for having them assemble it and the guy behind me comes up and he's like

Hey, we're gonna get what can I get for you? He's in this subway the hell that we just described Why would you ever want to be there? It's the worst place on earth. He walks in and goes, just want a pretzel. That's it! He just ordered a single pretzel. You should have turned around and been like, go back. A single knocking pretzel.

I was just like, ugh. He's about to eat the driest pretzel of his life. It's about to wait 30 minutes for a pretzel. It's like, no sauce. It's like those people I talked about that are like, wait forever at McDonald's and get a drink. Yes, yeah. I'll have one Coke forever McDonald's and get a dress. Yeah I've one coke. Yep, they leave I'm fine. I'm waiting crazy. All right

Subway's original location called Pete's super submarines opened in 1965 and sold subs for only 69 cents each now the footlong number 20 elite chicken and bacon ranch cost $12 by inflation first debate and that first First debate and now this. Face palm black and white emoji. Wake me up when it's 2028. This was before more Supreme Court ruling, so now I don't even know if you should wake me up.

We are done. Yeah. They say boogers are good for you. Judge Samuel Alito said it's actually good and smart to eat boogers. If the president says it, it's law. Uh huh. You're welcome. They don't know what we're talking about.

River Sub, a central Texas franchise group that owns 69 subway restaurants, Nice. filed for bankruptcy in June of this year. The filing comes after they lost a $3 million wrongful death lawsuit case where one of their employees was killed on site but claimed that the bankruptcy is due to market saturation. Market saturation is an insane claim when you own 69 Subways, but yeah, at least you don't have to pay that employee's family. Companies are good people. Emphasis on people, because the Supreme Court decided.

Samuel Alito said subways is people. How was he killed? It was, so there was an assistant manager, this is all in like San Antonio. They own, they're like a central Texas, they own all of these in like- Do they own the one we went to? Probably. Do they still own it? I guess you should let them know.

So she had said, hey my ex-boyfriend has been like stalking me. And then the- Aw, fuck. And then the owners and like the franchisee group, they're like, it's fine. And then- Just come to work. And that's exactly what they told her and that's exactly what she did.

And then she was shot and killed at Subway. So they sued, so her family sued and they went, you knew about this and you did nothing about it. Yeah. And the judge went, you owe them $3 million. Oops, we're bankrupt. And that's exactly what they, they just no it's market saturation of our own doing yes the nine subways fuck oh next try they got the money though no this is

this just happened like last week. So they're in the process of potentially closing... Don't worry, don't worry. The Supreme Court will straighten this out. Interesting. Evolve, the company behind gun detection technology used in subways... Can I stop you right there? Hang on, no.

I just got a quick question. We need to get through the facts. Is being investigated by the SEC and the FTC for allegedly making misleading statements about what its technology can do. Hey, can I have a quick question? You're in Riversub, dude. Look at the mess you got them into. Throw the book at these guys and a few $5 tuna melts for good measure.

Jordan, what question might you have? Why does the subway need the gun detection technology? Well what I've learned after doing more research and writing this fact is that it was for subways in New York and not the restaurant, just the subway system. Do you have a confession to make right now? Did you just say you cook cold? I thought it was weird.

When I read more articles about it, it was like Mayor Eric Adams says that he can't believe what's going on and I went about Why did so I heard he was also into that burger? Needed it I was like man just subways doing that What is it like an easy pass like it just at the door no gun I'll be I didn't even notice it. Nuh-uh. And so I was like, wow, this is pretty crazy. And then I found out after I did all this, I just went, ohhhhh.

It was Subway with a little S. Yeah. I was like, oh, even if you- What's MTA stand for? Even if you ignore the- the- confusing it with the wrong Subway thing, Uh-huh. Um, how would you ever think this is a real thing that's in subways?

Well, I just, I couldn't. Well, our last fight had to be with. Remember when you walk into the subway and you go through the metal room, and then you walk into the, every subway's built like that. Well, that's what I figured, that they're being sued by the SEC and FTC for false claims, so they didn't even get to put these things

in all the subways. I see. Right, they've been trying to. Right, but it's a different, again, I wanna be really really, really clear for everyone listening at home. Different subways. So we got four subway facts and one subway fact. This is like, it's like that technology with like the blood reading. Yes. Oh, yeah, Th sound like this. Sugar, I'm pregnant again. It turns out you're never gonna believe this. I don't talk like that. Oh!

Oh yeah, and the whole blood thing's made up. Yeah, I made that up. Thanks for the $80 billion. Last fact. It's a long one. Yep. To celebrate quote, World UFO Day. UFO.

This year, a subway in Dallas delivered orders via drones specifically orders of their ultimate foot long offering that consisted of a foot long cookie and a foot long sandwich. So next time hunger strikes look to the skies to see the subway UFO drop a sandwich haphazardly on your lawn for some neighborhood cats to get to it before you do because you're not leaving the house and you're certainly not brave enough to take on those cats the subway UFO hovers watching judging like an eye in the sky The leader of the cats meets eyes with the subway UFO and you swear they nod at each other Knowingly you grab your cell phone and start recording a video about how you're being gang stalked eat fresh

You good, man? Just I'm just reporting the fact this is before. This is before the good. This is when he thought this would be the wackiest thing. And just like that, those are the facts. Thirty six minutes. Those are the those are the facts about subway. We learned a lot about subway.

Can you imagine if we recorded this episode not with air conditioning? Oh, it's a BW. We would be I about the subway. Can you imagine if we recorded this episode not with air conditioning? Oh, in the back room of the APW? I'd be dead, dude. I would be dead on the ground. I would be laying down on the floor, for sure. With all the energy we're expensing doing this. I would just be laying down on the floor, like drunk style.

You just got to go let gravity take over. When we left the subway and wanted to take pictures. Oh, yeah. What did that guy do? What happened behind us? I saw something behind me and I was like Usually if we're taking a picture and someone I assume is photobombing. I don't look What what happened somebody was in the restaurant?

That's pretty cool actually that guy it looks like I'm looking at him. I cannot see him. I cannot see that guy. That actually is pretty cool. Yeah. So imagine he was doing this and smiling, but imagine if he was doing the Gracie thing. Yeah. Oh.

What if he knew? Damn. That's cool. That would have been awesome. That's basically a release form. He consented to be in that photo. Absolutely. But he posed for it.

So. He didn't work. He wasn't one of the guys who worked there, right? No. But boy, he just kept looking at us the whole time we were eating and leaving. Maybe he's a fan. Maybe he's nervous.

Is it because there's a convention in town? Maybe he wanted dippers. Maybe he took all the dippers. Is there a convention in town? There's six people in this subway. No, can you just ring up the salami and cheese you food an idiot, dude? I just I don't know. I'm just I'm just thinking again. Just ask somebody just ask someone just ask someone just ask somebody You don't know ask somebody ask somebody and the other thing is like any other

halfway decent establishment someone would have seen this Yeah, yeah, not the guy who hates any of give up. The guy who hates is just like, yeah, fuck dude. The other guy was there. Drowned. Looked over so many times at nothing happening for one sandwich, did not intervene in any way. Was not like, oh shit, you need help?

He just went, not my problem. See, the vibe I got was that like, the beard guy was the one in charge. And that like the other two were his henchmen. Like, friends he hired. Those are bad henchmen. Like, friends he hired. They are. Those are bad henchmen. Yeah.

Well, friends he hired are like, you know, I can hook you up with a job at the subway. Yeah, I don't think they're friends now. I don't think they're friends. No, I think they might be enemies. They're definitely not friends. That's why you don't work with your friends. Yep.

Yep. Yeah. Well, this is not work. Yeah. Hey, we're about 40 minutes in. We should be having fun. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

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you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash ymx. Benefits vary by card. Terms apply. DQ presents Picture This. Picture the DQ freezer, home to all the Blizzard flavors of the past. Picture it opening to bring back the salted caramel truffle Blizzard for a limited time. Picture that salted caramel truffle Blizzard in your hands. It's all yours. No, really, it's all yours. This treat is too good to share.

Everyone will have to get one for themselves. Hurry in to get this flavor before the DQ freezer closes. DQ, happy tastes good. We should learn about the food. What else is there to learn? Someone tell the boss what they are. We're going to learn about so many different things. Foot long drippers.

Foot long dippies. Dip your toes into a foot long dipper. Jingle jangle. Foot long dippers are served hot. Swirling melted cheese and meat and rolled in some ways soft and bubbly Lavash style flatbread. I thought it said lava-ish for a second. I thought so too. Did I read all that right? Yes, that is how again, this is directly from their press release. They're served hot swirling melted cheese and meat and rolled.

Three mouth-watering varieties, pepperoni and cheese, chicken and cheese, and double cheese. Hell, I would've called it cheese and cheese. Wait, what are they served with, Jordan? They're served with one of Subway's 11 signature sauces, like honey mustard, humminusters, creamy sriracha, or tangy peppercorn ranch.

Footlong fans can choose their own flavor adventure and try all 33 sauce and dipper combinations to find the dip that hits. Which dip hit? Yeah, which dip hit for you? Dude, unlike Wendy's 33 possible flavor combinations, this guy would have dipped each one 11 times. Oh yeah, for sure. He would have done the math. He would have before he started, he would have sectioned it each one 11 times. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. He would have done the math. He would have, before he started,

he would have sectioned it off into 11 bytes. So he can do it perfectly. He also would have remembered his ranking order without writing it down. He would have made a tier list. He said it was easy for you to remember. You got none. You got zero.

You got fucking none. This is like the sauciest sauce he could have ever sauced. And they gave us nothing. I want everyone to know that Nick is sitting with his arms crossed and his hat lower than it's ever been. Yeah, he's pissed. It's that you got to pull down your hat so far. This is how I'm wearing my hat.

This is how he's wearing his hat. I'm mad. And he's got his arms crossed and he's rocking back and forth. That's literally what he's doing right now. This is legitimately maybe one of the worst experiences we've ever had going to get the food. I think it was a great experience. I thought it was great.

Yeah. I thought it was a good experience. Yeah, I thought it was a great experience. I thought it was good for the show. This is the kind of juice we need. This is how we top a Gracie episode. This is the only way to do it. This is the only way to do it.

If you're getting mad, please showie episode. This is the only way to do it. This is the only way to do it. If you getting mad, please do a good episode. Oh, well. It's very rare and not even rare. I may have never seen it before. Him as mad as he was and then Nick also getting actually mad. I don't think I've ever seen that before. It was the transferring of the anger. It was, it really.

We sat down with the food and I went, I've done it. We did it. We can do an episode. I'll say this. You kind of, it wasn wasn't like that you kind of had to steam off Oh, you were very quiet. Yes for about four minutes. It was like you Eric was like exhaling his blunt and it was going Give me that ghost The little, uh... Dude, that's a free hit.

That's a free hit. Yeah, don't waste it! He was getting it. He was taking it. It's like, we're not, this isn't hot box. And then you were like, I'm done with this? The little Gotenks snot ghost that came out of the air. Absolutely.

Went right into it. Yup. Yup. Fuck. What a little annoying character. Hey, there's some press material from Subway also. Quote, Subway's all new dippers embody the changes that Subway has made over the last few years by elevating our food and guest experience to better meet the needs of today's diner, balancing their love for the iconic footlong alongside our commitment to convenience, crave, and value, said Doug Fry, who used chat GPT probably,

president of Subway North America, our guests devoured nearly 30 million sidekicks since their debut in January, and they will find all 33 flavor combinations of dippers for $3 to be equally irresistible. They keep bringing up how many flavors there are. Dude, he uncrumbled the paper he crumbled in through. Jordan, you were reading that and he was looking at it shaking. He was going like this.

We, before this all happened, I texted the group and I said, Hey, should I just order this online? Or do you think that like, we'll just go? Yeah. In the parallel universe where you ordered online, what do you think we talked about for 43 minutes? I probably the sauce, the sauce we got chicken bones. We talked about chicken bones and we talked about all the flavors and the sauces that were probably there.

Yeah. Do you think we would have got them, though? No. Yeah. We also probably would have gotten from a different subway. Right. So then it probably would have had it, is what I'm saying. We probably would have got the sauce.

It would have been in and out, burger. The way subways are everywhere, it really are everywhere. Like, especially in Texas. Again, we passed three to go to Subway. But why is it a crapshoot on what style subway? Because the one we went to was new and clean. And what you would say is, oh, that's the nice Subway. I never want to fucking go back there.

Ever. I don't give a fuck that they have these things. I'll wait for the boss, dude. Get fucked. I don't know. I kind of want to go back. Kelly. I kind of want to go back.

I know what Nick's having for it. Nick's going back. Now he's glad that they don't have that gun technology because he's going back with a gun Going give me my fucking sauces. I want 33 flavor combinations or nobody's walking out of here alive And then and then and then he he gets on the subway and the Texas gun He's holding on. This is filling everywhere. The gun falls and starts shooting in the air. They're shooting in the sauce. Oh my God. They shot him. No, it's mustard. Hummy Nostra. No, hum me. Just as I

suspected. I'm about to blow this case wide open. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. Oh, fuck. Man. Okay, so the you review segment, which of the subways... There's no way it can compete to what we've already reviewed. What do you mean? Which one of the subways are these for? This is for the Bosses Subway.

Oh, man. Yeah, I know. It's gonna be like, great, love the environment. They didn't have anything I wanted, but the Boss is super cool. Dude, dude, you gotta go look at the reviews for the one that we've already reviewed. Yeah, I know it's gonna be like great love the environment. They didn't have anything I wanted but the boss is super cool Dude you gotta go look at the reviews for the one that we want. Oh, I definitely definitely You gotta look down. Yeah, please like Supplement us somehow with like a good one. Maybe we'll do it in the Michael Jordan podcast. That's fucking that one comes out before We'll do it. No, we'll do it in the other second. Okay. All right program programming scheduling on the fly. Yeah. All right

Al J Okay, or AI J. Who knows what this actually says mm-hmm. He says I ordered online using the app When I go to pick up the stores closed and actually he said when I go pick up the store Oh when I go pick up the store is closed When I go pick up the stores closed It actually closed three hours before it says on the website and even the store window. I knock on the window and the manager says there's a problem with the app. I tell her it charged my account. This has got to be before the boss. Yeah, definitely.

She says it will be refunded. She said, if not that, if not that night, back tomorrow, and she'll refund me with cash oh Sketchy I returned the next day and no refund What? Hang on it died just now hang on oh man right in the middle right dude. I'm on the edge of what's gonna happen Do you think she got her money back? Do you think how that's other story? Do you think should go in summation? I got my money back and everything worked out great. I will be absolutely returning to this subway in the future And that's why I wrote this review. I have stars. You know people only write reviews when they're happy. Now he's dangling the cable. He's doing his cable technique

It's cuz sometimes it doesn't sit right, you gotta bend it a little bit. Yeah. He's using gravity to help the situation. Okay, go ahead. Alright. She, let's see, she said if not that night, come back tomorrow and she'll refund me with cash. I return the next day and no refund.

She made a call to headquarters and they told her my money would be refunded. It's been a week and no refund. It's not the store staff's fault, but I strongly recommend you never order with the app nor website, not supposed to use nor in that context. Subway owes me $22 plus. Subway Corporation is dishonest and has a horrible customer service. Zero stars!

He gave it one star. Zero stars, dude. Well, I mean, you can't actually give it zero stars. But you can write zero stars. Yeah, you can say, I'd give it zero stars if I could. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can't actually you can't you can write zero stars Yeah, you can say I give it zero stars if I could oh yeah, you can't you can't when I go pick up the store is closed When I go pick up the store, they must be strong. Yeah, I would think so and then and now he's got $22 plus Tough should try calling his bank That's I mean, that's our room smart next okay

Chevy G. Terrible service. The guy behind the counter says he is the owner's son. Yelling profanities. Maybe the boss is the son. I think the boss might be the son. Yelling profanities with children in store. Making special education jokes. Jesus. Threatening to kick out customers, threatening to kick customers out if they had a bad day. The customers are the subway employees. And demanding his team member to make sandwiches while he converses with friend in store. Do you think this was reviewed when we were there? Aside from that, he didn't recognize or listen to anything I ordered.

All I wanted was a six inch Italian with turkey and American cheese toasted. It took six corrections and I still came out with the wrong cheese. I will never return to the store simply because of the owner's son. I'd give zero stars if possible. Whoever the owner is, please get a hold of your employees. Get a hold of, control your children. I'm glad that the subway we went to didn't kick me out because I was having a bad day.

Yeah, I think that was really nice. But I think they'd kick you out because they were having a bad day. Well, no, if that was the case, that store would have been closed. That guy would be. Now, here's the thing, I'm curious about making special education jokes

because what if it was just like, dude, this is like quality of special education at the school is a joke. Oh, I mean, like, you know, you're right. Yeah, I don't know. There's no content. And I will say that sounds more like the boss. Yeah, there's no context to this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And he would be he would be his friend is a teacher who works really hard.

That's what I say. Trying to converse and trying to like help out. They've been having a bad day. Yeah. He was probably talking to an at risk youth, not a friend. Meanwhile, Chevy comes in. Yeah, Chevy, Chevy, however, I mean, American cheese, American cheese. Also, I mean, I'm going to be honest, don't get me wrong. They they cook mine and I didn't want them to because a flurry of things was happening and I and I just missed it.

Yeah. The cheese and the meat are the easiest part where you go. That's wrong. I mean, they put that on first. They literally put they get the bread and then they put the meat on and they put the cheese and that's when you go, that's wrong. Uh huh. I mean they put that on first. They literally put, they get the bread and then they put the meat on and then they put the cheese and that's when you go, I don't want that cheese. It doesn't all happen at once. Right. That happens, it's very easy to get the cheese that you want. Well then some people just put a bunch of mayo on it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nope. That's down the line though. Don't want that! Like a cheese, so you put the wrong cheese on, you go, that's the wrong cheese. They take it off and they put it on. Right. Mayo, that's late in the game.

Yeah. Just saying. But that's not the only, there's one more you review. That's wrong cheese. They take it off. They put on right Mayo. Yeah, that's late in the game. Yeah Just saying but that's not the only there's one more you there's one more you guys. Oh shit Yeah, Davin Davin or Dave in one thing. Hmm. Let's say Davin. Yeah Davin G Davin G sounds like Gavin's fake This is from Davin green Dude Davin Greed. Dude, Davin Greed, great Star Wars name. Big time. It's a good Star Wars name for sure. It's Davino. Davino Greed.

He's from the planet Danivo. Only two guys working. We were next, but one of the two guys who just made a sandwich for a customer decided it was more important to turn the stereo on and then take a pointless call on his cell phone than to help us. We were discriminated against by Subway employees. This was the worst Subway I've ever been to, and it's a complete Mickey Mouse operation. Boomer.

This location should be shut down. We were discriminated against. Why do you think they were discriminated against? Well, because they were taking a pointless call. I'm sorry, the test results have come in. Your son has cancer. Hey, fuckface! American cheese!

That's how people feel about the boss and his operation, man. This can't be. That's what I'm saying. I think some people just don't get it. Some people just don't get it when you walk in and you order a bunch of sidekicks. The place has to shut down for 45 minutes. They gotta get you ideas.

While he tries to hyper cook the cookies that were frozen. He's like, you're not supposed to cook them this way. And you gotta sign a waiver that you might get your mouth burned in the middle The outside is gonna be normal, but the mills gonna be fucking hot. I'll say this like We had a good time when that happened to us. He was hanging out telling us he's giving us ideas dude try with ice cream We went oh We won't but yeah, yeah, thanks the boss It died again. It died again, and I'll say well. I died again to my water was yellow. I forgot to mention

Yeah, I don't think the guy actually Turn off in the front on the top turn it off and then turn it back on again And then smash it into pieces just leave it off. I don't think the guy actually fixed the water fountain Yeah, what do you mean? Just no it they're gonna miss all our big animated moves at the end Just put the chicken bones on yeah, he's got Just hold it we only have a couple minutes Run this one out yeah So

You guys know what we ate and so much of it wasn't about the food we get another camera Yes, can we get a thing that just holds a phone? No, we spent $25 on a phone tripod I bought two of them in the last week Once covered in sand uh okay wasn't even that wasn't rimshot worthy cuz it fell in the sand. Yeah Like what is the benefit no I have I have a picture of it. Sorry, I got subway brain I put it on a 10 second timer and then at nine seconds the phone fell over No! And so there's one picture as it's falling over

So so much of what we talked about wasn't the food of what we talked about but these guys are like fine though There's still some sand in my phone you can see Dang this guy beaches The food itself, oh boy. You want, you're getting too perfect with it. You're getting too perfect with it. No, I say you're not getting perfect enough, dude. Ah!

Leave all this in, leave all this in. Covered in sand. He just held it, dude. I don't understand. I like it better this way. Let's all be quiet while he does this. Dude, someone's got a cool bass. Okay, so you guys don't you're all you want it too bad. He's playing with fire.

He's really playing with fire. All right. All right. Chris. Okay. So this work is there too much? Is my head cut off? You're a little cut off now. So, so what do you guys think about the, uh, this? I remember I ate the food in 45 seconds. I retained nothing. I remember that everything that was happening. The thing I remember the most is me eating the last one going, is this cheese? And someone going double cheese. You're going, wow, wow, great. And they're going, fucking dry, it's dry. Fucking piece of shit. That's what I remember.

The chicken one was the worst somehow. The chicken one was weird. The double cheese one is like whatever. The pepperoni was the most sensible. And those pepperonis were pretty spicy. So that was pretty good. Six pepperonis in one of those little rolls is like plenty of pepperoni for that too. Yeah.

That's a good amount. Yeah, that one was good. It was a decent amount. I would have loved to dip it, but who knows. It was a decent amount of meat for like a tiny little thin thing, you know what I mean? But they were three bucks each. It's not a bad deal.

I mean, if you're willing to wait 30 minutes. Yeah. We were trying to make 25 of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sausage, you want six more? We need 12, 24! I could see me snacking on those pepperoni rolls. Yeah, yeah. Which, which at that point, at that point, having it wrapped like that, with pepperoni and cheese and being melted, very close to just being a pizza roll.

Yes, yeah. That's essentially what it was. Oh yeah, that's basically what it was. It just doesn't have sauce. That's the only one that has different cheese. Doesn't have sauce, Nick. No. He knews.

So what do you think, Jordan? Um, all three of them combined, they're pretty average. I'm gonna go I'm gonna go 53. Wow. I'll be honest, yeah, they were pretty average. There's nothing like crazy about it. But they weren't fucking

shit. They weren't shit, but it is. We've eaten so much shit. But it's Subway still. So it's not great. No, it's not. But I'm just saying it's not like dog shit we've been eating lately where it's like, oh, what is this fucking thing? It was just like, yeah, it's Subway,

but it's not worse than Subway. Yeah. The worst part was certainly the experience and not the food. You can get worse food there. They didn't downgrade it. You know the pepperoni you get on a sandwich? That's what it is.

Yeah, I mean it's just that. It's stuff they already have on a flatter bread. It probably would have been pretty good with some sauce. Sort of lavash bread. I didn't need 11 of them, but one or two might have been nice. I bet it would have been decent. Nick's like, yeah, it would have been.

I'm gonna agree with Jordan. I'm just gonna hand it with a 55%. Wow, so average score of 54. How do you know? That was fast. Yeah, you didn't even do the math. I was pretty quick. Hang on. Okay. This guy doesn't work at subway. You can tell. Well, yeah, I'm staring at the phone looking at Michael for help and he's just letting me drown. Dude, where's salami?

Where is it? I don't fucking know. Push any other meat. 23. Anything, dude, anything! Christ! So that's Subway. That is Subway. And- No, this is Subway. Yeah. So Michael's gonna tuck into that

in last week's Michael Jordan podcast. I'm about to go back in time or something. Hey, do we have 100% fans shout out? We do, we do. This is from 100% fan Jeffrey Fullmer Gardener, okay. Thanks Jeffrey Jeffrey says dear dear Michael Jordan you spelled my name wrong, but that's okay Eric and Nick Wow Thank you for helping me get sober and to the love of my life

My wife sorry I'm reading like two lines at a time the love of my life my my wife, sorry, I'm reading like two lines at a time. The love of my life, my wife, Lean Gardener, you are amazing. Oh, that's so nice. That's nice too, I thought he was gonna say love of my life and then a food or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, really surprised me with the wife. The subway dippers.

If you wanna become a 100% fan, you can. You go to patreon.com slash 100%. By the way, you're welcome, Geoffrey. Yeah, hey. We did all that work. All of the 100% fan messages have been really cool, You can you go to patreon.com slash one and by the way, you're welcome Jeffrey. Yeah. Hey We did all that work all of the 100% fan messages have been really cool And they've let us down some interesting paths like with Chris our first one is cold now Yeah Like like Chris our first one who we brought up on stage for food court Yeah, and then here with his wife who when he told us about how she eats pizza like a crime

It truly is you guys need to listen to this because whatever you're imagining, how crazy could it be? It's insane. It's beyond insane. Yeah, so we split it up into two parts. Both parts are out now at the time of this release. You can go on our YouTube channel and listen to that

and let us know how you think the rulings went. Like the Supreme Court, we don't give a fuck what you think, but you can still let us know. Yeah, it's been really, the one good thing about the Supreme Court kind of just going off the rails, crazy style is that like it really takes the pressure off us to be credible. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, we'll take bribes. If you want to bribe us, we'll rule whatever way you want. That's totally like not a problem for us. We'll take vacations. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, whatever. It's totally fine. So you can go to to start you can fund my next beach trip. See there you go. Look at how tan I am

That's pretty tan you go to store.one hundred percent eat.com Fandork looking accurate all of a sudden. Yep. Check out this spice rat shirt Fucking yeah baller. It's a baller shirt. Yeah, don't get bit by shark. Pretty sure that's pretty sure that's the women's cut I don't know. It looks good. It just looks like it on Michael because he's so jacked. Well, I think it's like a slightly different color in the women's cut, but it looks good. So just get jacked like Michael and then wear that. All shirts will look good on you if you're Jack.

It's possible. I just wear whatever I find. See? Smart. So go to store.roucheteath.com. Jesus Christ. Go to store.eat.com. That's ears getting burned into my brain.

And you can listen to this week's Michael Jordan podcast at patreon.com slash 100% eat. Follow at 100% eat on Twitter and on Instagram to stay up to date with everything. If you want to send us stuff on the PO Box, which you can, you can send a PO Box 143241, it's Austin, Texas 78714, PO Box 143241, Austin, Texas 78714. We have a. Box 143241, Austin, Texas 78714.

We have a bunch of snacks so far that we've gotten. I think we're gonna film a snack attack soon. Yeah, let's attack some snacks. We are in between spaces. So, hopefully we're figuring something out. We'll see. You know, you get what you pay for. Zero dollars for the AAPW space.

Yes. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, zero air can do. Fuel comfort. Yeah, yeah. But you know, zero air can do. Fuel comfort. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is about more than that. So, you know, it is what it is. But thank you so much for sticking with us.

Appreciate your support on the Patreon. On YouTube, every comment, every view, all that stuff is helping us. Every bit counts. Yeah, it really does. Can we add like a service charge where they like unwillingly have to pay for our rent? Can we add that in somehow? We can try. I'll look into it.

A surcharge. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like a rent surcharge. So if we get like like a restaurant. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Newsom said it's fine as long as you like clearly state it. Sure. Yeah. My best friend runs Panera Bread and it's actually fine that he does this stuff the way that he does.

It's pretty interesting, isn't it? Don't you think? I run a Panera Bread and I know the governor. Yeah. It's actually fine that he does the stuff the way that he does it actually. It's pretty interesting, isn't it? Don't you think? I run up an air bread and I know the governor. Yeah. Don't you know who I am? All right, Jordan, take us out. All right. Any other thoughts or anything about something?

No, we have the Michael Jordan podcast that came out a week ago. Write and subscribe. Tell a friend about the show where we eat food and rate the food. And maybe sometimes we order the food. Line. Maybe sometimes we order the food. Line. Maybe sometimes we get the food. Oh, goodbye.